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    Self-Improvement

    Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs

    Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs is a cozy corner of the internet for high-functioning humans with big feelings — the capable ones who get things done but quietly wonder if something’s missing.
    If you’re the unicorn in a power suit (or a perfectly neutral sweater), building a life that looks “right” on paper but still craving something freer and more alive — you’re in the right place.

    Hosted by therapist and author Danielle Ireland, this show feels like sitting on the couch with your best friend — if your best friend happened to be a therapist. Together, we untangle burnout, anxiety, pressure, and comparison, and learn how to turn emotions into allies instead of obstacles.

    This is a space for comfort, community, clarity — and a few laughs along the way.
    Because you deserve calm without having to earn it.

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2025

    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    From Idea to Impact: How becauseOne is Transforming the Process of Giving Aug 14, 2023
    Show notes

    "becauseOne" is an online platform that connects people's passions with the needs of those served by non-profit organizations. This remarkable initiative sprang from the collaborative vision of sisters Stephany Dolan and Stacia Jones and was driven by their family's desire to strengthen community and make it easier to help others.

    We look at how to use becauseOne to get involved with organizations that match your specific areas of interest. And, as part of our discussion about the enthusiasm and challenges around developing their idea, Stephany and Stacia explain how elevating the good being done in the world is a key part of their vision.

    I'm excited to bring you this discussion because the platform is transforming how we give while also serving as an antidote to online negativity. With becauseOne, anyone can embrace philanthropy, spread positivity, and witness the direct impact of their contributions.

    Thank you for listening!

    Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

    RESOURCES

    becauseOne website: https://becauseone.com/

    Call: 463-444-8301

    Email: info@becauseOne.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087037890605

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/becauseone_community/

    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/becauseone/

    ++++++++++++++++++

    Journaling can be a life-changing tool. Grab a pen and put your thoughts on paper—you might be amazed by how much it helps. But, if you're having trouble getting started or sorting out your thoughts, consider getting a copy of the Treasured Journal. The Treasured Journal includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems to help you make sense of what you're feeling. You can get the journal and its companion meditation guide at the link below.

    THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

    Please feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or experiences you want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of this program and makes it easier for others to find us.

    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

    Website: danielleireland.com

    Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW

    Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW


    Three Myths About Therapy Apr 03, 2023
    Show notes

    Most of us look long and hard for reasons to avoid therapy. And, granted, therapy is not the only modality for emotional healing. Talking with friends and exercise and travel and dozens of other things can help the healing process. But, only therapy is therapy.

    Ultimately, THINKING about starting therapy is way harder than ACTUALLY starting therapy and it's because of these three myths. People tend to think that starting therapy means:

    Something is wrong with me. (Not true.)

    I have failed. (Again, not true.)

    I have to know why I want it to start it. (No, you don't.)

    If you've been thinking about starting therapy, don't wait until the walls are crashing down around you. Taking that first step is easier than you think. If starting therapy seems scary and disempowering, consider this—therapy can be whatever you want it to be.

    Thank you for listening. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

    You can get THE TREASURED JOURNAL and its companion meditation guide at this link - https://danielleireland.com/journal

    Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

    Website: danielleireland.com

    Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW

    Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW


    Jealousy. Three things it could be telling you. Mar 27, 2023
    Show notes

    Jealousy is often seen as a negative emotion. And let's be honest, it doesn't feel great when we experience it. BUT, what does it look like when we approach our jealousy with a little compassionate curiosity? In my experience, jealousy is calling our attention to a deeper desire that's hiding inside us.

    Like every emotion, jealousy can be a great teacher. It can show us that there is something we want or something we want more of. Jealousy can also signal that we are ready for a change. Oftentimes, however, we can get stuck on our way to clarity. Comparison, criticism, and complaining are common traps.

    If you're feeling stuck, this episode is a good companion to our Listener's Favorite episode on Desire (Ep 81), which we featured just a few weeks back. Journaling is another useful tool. A plain pad of paper and pen will do or you can use the Treasured Journal, which includes questions, prompts, and sentence stems that will help you open up and get your thoughts flowing. You can get the journal and its companion meditation guide at this link:

    THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

    Thank you for listening. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. I would love to hear from you! If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

    Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

    Website: danielleireland.com

    Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW

    Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW


    Finding hope. Raising a child lost in a complex medical system. Mar 13, 2023
    Show notes

    My guest, Ashlyn Thompson, is the co-founder of Charlotte's Hope Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting, encouraging, and educating parents and caregivers of children facing difficult health challenges. Ashlyn, and co-founder Emily Whiting, have daughters with rare medical complexities. By sharing their stories, they hope to connect other parents and caregivers with valuable resources and the understanding that they are not alone. In short, they think of the foundation as providing a lighthouse in the storm.

    Our discussion covers a range of topics:

    • Understanding advocacy
    • Managing white coat syndrome
    • Turning pain into purpose
    • Dealing with trauma
    • Sitting with the pain
    • Leading with love
    • Defining and introducing hope
    • Enjoying dark chocolate

    Ashlyn and Emily created the Charlotte's Hope Foundation to provide the type of support that was not available to them. As Ashlyn says, everyone knows someone. So, please, share this important discussion with others who could find value here.

    CONNECT WITH ASHLYN AND THE FOUNDATION

    • Website: Charlotte's Hope Foundation
    • Podcast: Empowered by Hope
    • Book: She is Charlotte by Emily K. Whiting
    • Facebook
    • Instagram

    As always, thank you for listening. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

    Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

    THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

    Website: danielleireland.com

    Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW

    Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW


    A Husband and Wife Do Life. Danielle's FIRST recording with David Dellen. Feb 13, 2023
    Show notes

    Talk about a throwback! From 2018, this is the first ever recorded episode of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. Not the first to air, but the first to be recorded.

    My guest, David Dellen, is a Harley Davidson dealer, a big brother in the Big Brother Big Sister Program, and also MY HUSBAND. He is an incredible leader and entrepreneur with a lot of valuable experience to share.

    I wish I could say that I asked him to be my first guest because of his experience and wisdom, but truthfully...it was because I was scared, insecure, and he said "YES." So, this conversation is the REAL beginning. You'll hear me make every possible mistake: interrupting, clinking glasses, poor sound quality, poor use of the mic, etc. But you know, I LOVE this episode. I love this man, and I know you will, too. Welcome to the very beginning of my messy middle.

    Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

    THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

    Website: danielleireland.com

    Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW

    Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW


    Journal Your Way to Clarity: Part 2b Relationships Feb 06, 2023
    Show notes

    Our special series focusing on the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal continues with the second in a two-part discussion of relationships. This is a big topic that can include communication, boundaries, trauma, pleasure, needs identification, and more. But, here, I want to zero in on two specific concepts that I've found to be invaluable for myself and my clients—and I'm confident they will help you make the most of your journaling:

    • Relationships are like mirrors
    • The relationship fear loop

    Working through relationship "stuff" can take many forms and journaling can be one of our most effective tools. That's why I recommend it to almost everyone! In the case of relationships, we're able to learn a great deal about ourselves by examining how we feel about, how we treat, and how we respond to others.

    If you're new to the series, it's not too late to catch up. I am devoting the first podcast episodes of this year to a guided discussion of career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose—the major themes from The Treasured Journal. The series is designed to expand your ability to understand the role and influence these themes occupy in your life.

    It's not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for this series of exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, if you do use the journal, you can lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems that, along with these podcasts, will help you move past the blank page. You can get the journal and the companion meditation guide at this link:

    THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

    Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

    Thank you for listening to the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

    • Website: danielleireland.com
    • Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
    • Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

    The "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.


    Journal Your Way to Clarity: Part 2a - Relationships Jan 30, 2023
    Show notes

    We continue with a special series of exercises that will be our focus over the coming weeks. With each podcast, I'll examine one of the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal: career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose.

    Journaling is one of the most powerful tools we have for gaining clarity and understanding of ourselves, which in turn, helps us advocate for ourselves, create space when we need it, and engage in constructive conversations that otherwise might feel overwhelming.

    This episode is the first of a two-part look at relationships. It's where 90% of sessions start with my new clients. People want to talk about heartache, frustration, or anger with regard to their partner or someone else in their life—but ultimately, discussion of the relationship reveals work that needs to be done by the individual. And that's okay; it's a good place to start.

    We want to be seen and heard and we want other people to be there for us, but we need clarity on what "being there" looks like. So, when journaling about relationships, start with the following prompts:

    • What do I really feel?
    • What do I really want?
    • How can I satisfy that for myself with some small action?

    It's not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for this series of exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, if you do use the journal, you can lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems that, along with these podcasts, will help you move past the blank page and gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.

    Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

    THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

    BOOKS I'M READING (visit your local bookseller or library):

    • Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804
    • The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881
    • Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy - https://www.goodinside.com/book/
    • The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - https://juliacameronlive.com/books-by-julia/

    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

    • Website: danielleireland.com
    • Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
    • Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

    Journal Your Way to Clarity: Part 1 - Career Jan 23, 2023
    Show notes

    I am excited to announce a very special series of exercises that will be our focus over the next seven to nine weeks. With each podcast, I'll examine one of the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal: career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose. Whether you're experienced at journaling or brand new to it, I encourage you to take advantage of these guided exercises to explore the seven themes in your life.

    Journaling is one of the most powerful tools we have for gaining clarity and understanding. Understanding is empowering and freeing—it helps us advocate for ourselves, create space when we need it, and engage in constructive conversations that otherwise might be overwhelming.

    It's not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for these exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, I recommend that you lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems in the journal. Along with this series of podcasts, they will help you move past that blank page and gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.

    Get a copy of THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

    In this episode, we begin our series with a discussion of "career" because people tend to have a lot of unconscious bias, complicated feelings, and self-identity wrapped up in their careers. So it's worth examining how we perceive its value and its effect on us. Additionally, there is a unique emotional tension for women who choose to leave their careers to raise children. Within that context, we ask these questions about career to get your journaling juices flowing:

    • How do I know which internal voice to listen to when one is telling me to rest and another is pushing me to do that thing that seems so important?
    • When meeting someone and introducing myself, how quickly does my career come up? Or, conversely, do I avoid talking about my work?
    • When I receive criticism, how do I react? How long do I dwell on the feedback?
    • Do I start most weeks feeling some level of dread or enthusiasm about the week?

    Thanks for listening to the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

    BOOKS I'M READING (visit your local bookseller or library):

    The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881

    Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey - https://thenapministry.com/

    Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804

    CONNECT WITH DANIELLE

    Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

    • Website: danielleireland.com
    • Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
    • Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

    The "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.


    Confidence, Collaboration & Jumping In. With Sheena Birt from Color Story Studio. Dec 12, 2022
    Show notes

    Sheena Birt is the owner of Color Story Studio, a custom design studio that turns brick-and-mortar businesses into destinations people can't wait to visit.

    Color Story Studio is known for creating one-of-a-kind installations for a variety of high-profile locations in and around Indianapolis. Her work has been featured at Dior in Chicago and Two Chicks District Co. (the store owned by the women of HGTV's Good Bones), corporate lifestyle brands (such as Anthropologie), and Newfields, an art institution the studio partners with each year to create an immersive, multi-room installation inside the historic Lilly House.

    While Sheena's reputation and portfolio are impressive, her path from graphic designer at a t-shirt shop in Terre Haute to the owner and creative force behind a highly sought-after design studio has not been a straight line.

    We discuss career fits and starts, confidence, collaboration, trust, burnout, asking for help, and the reluctance to jump in. Sheena also shares her search for inspiration, the benefits of being open to new things, and a surprising social media strategy.

    I'm sure you'll enjoy this inside look at a business we don't often hear much about. Sheena's insights will be of special interest for anyone considering a career in retail store and visual design, merchandising, and consulting. And, as you're out and about this month, you'll appreciate the season's special holiday decorations from a brand new perspective.

    Learn more about Sheena and Color Story Studio:

    • Website
    • Instagram

    Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

    Thanks for listening. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

    • Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

    Ways to connect with Danielle:

    • Website: danielleireland.com
    • Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
    • Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

    The "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.


    Gratitude and Toxic Positivity Nov 14, 2022
    Show notes

    There really is no escaping the year-end holidays. From decorations to music to parties, the season is everywhere! And, with the season, comes the expectation that this is a festive time of year and you had better get on board and be grateful.

    We love and encourage feelings of gratitude. Gratitude feels good and we want to feel good, right? But gratitude can go very wrong when it doesn't allow for a full range of emotion. When there is no space to feel anything else, gratitude can tip over into toxic positivity. So, this is a discussion of what gratitude really is and how we can access it in a healthy, authentic way.

    Because gratitude is a feeling, practicing gratitude without actually feeling gratitude is an empty exercise. But when we are truly in a state of gratitude, we are creating new neural pathways in the brain. So, I also share a few techniques for a gratitude practice that can help you develop those pathways:

    • Doing mirror work
    • Telling someone what you love/appreciate/respect/value about them
    • Asking someone what they love/appreciate/respect/value about you
    • Journaling

    Just as we've been conditioned over the years to think negative thoughts, these techniques and others can recondition the brain—and being able to access the new pathways literally can be lifesaving.

    As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

    Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

    • Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

    Ways to connect with Danielle:

    • Website: danielleireland.com
    • Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
    • Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

    The "Don't Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.


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