Charisma Quotient: Build Confidence, Make Connections and Find Love

Latest Episodes:

Coaching With Kim: Maintaining Confidence Throughout The Dating Process Aug 14, 2019

Show notes

How do you maintain confidence throughout the dating process, even when things don't work out? Online dating has produced so many changes to how we date. Now, you can connect with thousands of singles in seconds, but how do you find the best match for you? When you operate from a fear of rejection, even the most confident people are not immune to the negative impact it can have on your dating life. On this episode, you will meet Katherine, who began coaching with Kim because she was in the market for an image and dating confidence makeover. Now that her pictures are getting her clicks and interest, she's deep in the throes of the online dating vortex and is struggling to have fun, be flirtatious and exude the confidence while on the dates. The good news is, she's got a ton of matches, the challenge is sorting through to find the *right* kind of guy she can get excited about. Kim and Katherine talk through her most recent hurdle -- two dates canceling last minute -- and what Katherine can do to manage her expectations and feelings of disappointment. Kim talks about the paradox of choice and why more people report feeling higher levels of anxiety around it. When dating feels transactional, establishing a meaningful connection isn't easy! If you're working to increase your self-esteem, or have little or negative dating experiences, these effects can be even more painful. But it can be if you are armed with knowledge, realistic expectations and a heavy dose of self-compassion. This conversation is energetic, honest and leaves you with a positive impression that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Kim talks Katherine through specific ways she can get out of her head on dates, release the burden of the expectation and shift her mindset to get a different result. If you're looking to gain more confidence in your flirting skills - back by popular demand - Kim is rebooting her 14-Day Flirt + Femininity Challenge on August 19th! If you're serious about changing your story, join a group of motivated, action-taking women and sign up here: https://bit.ly/2YM4ddD

Interview With Silvy Khoucasian: Creating Healthy Dating Boundaries Aug 07, 2019

Show notes

Whether you're casually dating, or you're in a long-term relationship, setting boundaries is imperative! In order to have a healthy relationship, both parties need to be comfortable sharing their needs without fear of judgment or retaliation. This week on the show, Kim interviews relationship coach, and host of the podcast Love with Integrity, Silvy Khoucasian. Silvy has coached countless singles and couples throughout her career to have fulfilling, happy relationships by focusing on setting healthy boundaries. Kim and Silvy talk through the importance of owning your needs and wants from the minute you start dating someone. Even though it seems scary to be vulnerable, ultimately by communicating up front your needs and passions, you are setting up both you and your partner for success. Silvy digs into the different boundaries that people with various kinds of attachment styles tend to need during the different dating phases. If you've felt nervous, anxious or tend to avoid boundary-setting conversations, listen up! This conversation will deliver you specific language to use to steer the other person in the direction of what you love and seeing how they respond. Whether your instinct on a first date is to rattle off all your major boundaries, or if you avoid sharing what you need and want, this conversation covers that and everything in between. When you operate from a place of honest vulnerability, it can be empowering and help you reduce the fear and anxiety around potential rejection. If you are looking for strategies on how to set boundaries while dating and in relationships, this episode has got you covered! It is possible to show someone else the truth of who you are and bring up your vulnerabilities in an open and inviting way. If you have difficulties setting boundaries and want a road map in how to do it, sign up for a FREE breakthrough call with Kim right here: https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough In just half an hour, you will have usable, valuable insights into how you can express your needs and wants successfully. Sign up today (limited spots available)

Special 100th Episode: Life Love Lessons Aug 02, 2019

Show notes

This week, we're doing something special to mark the 100th Episode of the Charisma Quotient! This episode is a conversation between Kim and the never heard before show's producer Anna, counting down the Top 5 episodes thus far. You'll hear a short clip from each episode and Kim breaking down the biggest Life Love Lessons while sharing some incredible client success stories around each lesson. Wherever you are in your love journey, this episode will have a tip you can use! It's like the greatest hits of the podcast up to this point. Listen in to learn how to evaluate your own behavior on dates and what to look for when you're attracting the wrong kind of partner for you. Or, if you have a tendency to stay in relationships for too long, #5 on the countdown will give you some insight into how to shift your results. For the ladies, if you're caught up in feeling like there are no good men out there or that you just aren't speaking the same language as the men you date, #2 on the countdown will answer some of your questions. Plus, Kim reads several notes from former clients who have discovered the confidence and courage inside themselves to live their best love life. You'll hear a story from a woman who's meeting, flirting and connecting with great men in new places, a woman who finally attracted the right guy for her, and a beautiful, touching story from a woman who discovered her fairytale romance that brings tears to Kim's eyes. If you enjoy the show and look forward to new episodes each week, take a moment to rate the show on iTunes or your favorite podcast app, write a review or tell a friend, family member or coworker to listen. You could even write a review that tells others the life love lessons you've learned from listening. The more people rate, review and subscribe, the easier it is for others to find the show. It really does help! The Charisma Quotient team is so grateful to YOU, our amazing listeners for sticking with us and growing this community for 100 episodes!

Interview With Scot McKay: What Do Men Really Want? Jul 24, 2019

Show notes

What do men really want? Are they only looking for physical attractiveness and sexual chemistry, or something more meaningful? On this week's show, Kim interviews dating and relationship coach Scot McKay, founder of X & Y Communications with his wife Emily. Now a four-time Amazon #1 bestselling author, Scot hosts the popular podcast Moutain Top and he has been invited to speak at high profile conferences and over 400 media outlets have consulted him, including ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, BBC, MTV, Forbes, Lifetime, Men's Health and The Wall Street Journal. Although the title of this episode is focused on what men are looking for, this podcast is for BOTH genders. This funny and energetic conversation starts with giving you some real insights into how to attract a real "quality man." Kim and Scot also riff back and forth on how men and women tend to misinterpret the intentions of the opposite sex. Plus, listen in for some useful tips about how to perfect your online dating profile. Scot shares some stories from when he was still dating to demonstrate some strategies around how men can take the lead on a date without the fear of their actions being misinterpreted as creepy or pushy. Especially in the era of #MeToo where both women and men are more aware than ever of how they come off to one another, this conversation will help you ease some tension for both genders! If you want to learn how to look your best on your online dating profile sign up for Kim's new 90-Minute Dating Profile Makeover here: https://bl394-500ee6.pages.infusionsoft.net/ Kim is also going on the road with the Great Love Debate for the next Flirt Academy Workshop in San Francisco July 25! Get your tickets as there are a few slots left https://www.facebook.com/events/840244789682404/

Coaching With Kim: Dating Without Attachment Jul 17, 2019

Show notes

Do you consider yourself a relationship person and hate dating? Do you find yourself going 0-60 on the first date, interrogating the other person to see if they're your next soulmate? Or perhaps you are getting attached to the outcome with your dates. On this episode of Coaching with Kim, you'll meet Louise and hear about some surprising mistakes relationship-oriented people make when dating. Louise has been on a professional development kick, working on herself to be more confident and successful at work. Now, she's working with Kim to level up her game in the personal and romance department. After her divorce, she dove right back into a long term relationship and now she's trying to figure out how to just date without the attachment of a relationship. Louise is having difficulties finding herself as a fun-loving, dynamic single woman separate from a man. She shares that many of her first dates feel boring and she wants to introduce more fun into her dating experience. Kim helps Louise identify some caretaking patterns from her childhood that have leaked into how she operates in relationships and dating now. If you have a tendency to support others before considering your own needs, Kim shares some strategies to use to reduce the guilty feelings that come up when you start prioritizing you. This episode is packed with practical tips on how to date as well as enhance the quality of your conversations, be more curious and make more authentic connections. If you want to learn how to date more proactively as opposed to reactively and feel more in control of your dating life like Louise - sign up for a FREE breakthrough call with Kim right here: https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough Kim's going on the road with the Great Love Debate for the next Flirt Academy Workshop in San Francisco! She's got a workshop for women on July 25! Get your tickets here https://www.facebook.com/events/840244789682404/

Interview With Lori Gottlieb: Maybe You Should Talk & Change Your Love Story Jul 10, 2019

Show notes

Do you ever wish you could change the story to your love life? Have you thought about talking to someone to help you do that? After today's special episode, you will be inspired to do both! On this powerful episode, Kim interviews the popular Lori Gottlieb, a celebrated psychotherapist and NY Times bestselling author of the new book, "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone." https://amzn.to/2JK3DqX Currently being adapted as a TV series on ABC with Eva Longoria, the book dives into Lori's personal experience seeking therapy after a crisis threatens to crush her world and details several stories based on her patients over the years. As a former therapist herself, Kim shares her experience post-divorce when she needed to reach out for more support to change her love story. Lori and Kim have a special conversation discussing the truth that even professionals need professional guidance in their personal lives. Nobody is immune from the struggle and by sharing stories, we can all break patterns and heal. This conversation is fundamentally about how to allow yourself to be emotionally open with other people. Whether it's with your next date or your therapist, this episode will show you the difference between true vulnerability and TMI! If you've ever found yourself dating the "same person" over and over again, or repeating patterns you can't figure out how to break, listen closely! You will hear concrete advice from 2 licensed professionals about how to break your cycle. It's rarely easy to reach out for help when you need it, but when you do you strengthen relationships and change the story of your love life. Take the first step in talking with someone by signing up for a breakthrough call with Kim right here: https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough Also, if you're going to be in the San Francisco area July 25-26, Kim's Flirt Academy Workshop in partnership with The Great Love Debate is coming to you! Check out Kim's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SeltzerKimberly/ for more details.

What Would Kim Do? Surprising Answers To Your Love Questions Jul 03, 2019

Show notes

Welcome back to the segment called, What Would Kim Do? Kim dedicates these episodes to answering your questions directly. In this episode, you'll hear a strategy for overcoming past trauma that may be infiltrating your dating life. And if you're struggling to determine what exactly it is you want in a relationship, Kim dives into several tips on how to gain the clarity you need to attract the right kind of person. For those of you not meeting the kind of people you want, you'll get some advice on how to look inward to start the discovery process. You'll hear a question from a woman who's just coming off a separation and divorce. Kim shares some tips from her experience post-divorce encouraging you to get back to basics and discovering who you are independent from a relationship. This episode touches on a lot of juicy topics - listen in! Are you struggling with some of the same issues you heard on this episode? Join Kim's private Facebook group, the Love Makeover Insiders - a supportive community of women seeking to find healthy, happy relationships. You can sign up right here: https://www.facebook.com/SeltzerKimberly/ Mark your calendars! Kim's going on the road with the Great Love Debate for the next Flirt Academy Workshop in San Francisco! She's got a workshop for women on July 25, and one for men on July 26! Get your tickets right here: https://www.facebook.com/events/460295508124942/ for men and https://www.facebook.com/events/840244789682404/ for women.

Interview With Robert Kandell: How To Date With Vulnerability & Authenticity Jun 26, 2019

Show notes

Be vulnerable, be authentic... be yourself! It's a lot easier said than done. This week, Kim interviews Robert Kandell, a speaker, Amazon bestselling author, and host of the podcast TuffLove. Robert has taught more than 10,000 people using his expertise in interpersonal communication in relationships. On this show, you'll hear an honest conversation where Robert shares the defining moment in his life when he was not seeing or hearing his wife's needs. You'll hear how he and his wife at the time began working to develop a practice around vulnerability and intimacy. Kim and Robert talk about society's definitions of masculinity and femininity, how it can discourage us to not open up or worse yet, create unrealistic expectations. Happiness is not achieved because we match society's definition perfectly, there's a lot of personal development work that goes into being truly happy with who we are. Kim asks Robert to define the steps to become more vulnerable and authentic. They walk you through how you can teach yourself to be more vulnerable through practice, repetition and learning the language! Tune in to hear about how to share personal and even intimate "secrets" you have with someone you're dating - especially if you're afraid to reveal something. Robert shares exactly how to bring up sensitive conversation topics with someone you're dating, whether it's date #1 or #10. If you're looking to be more vulnerable, authentic and show up more like your true self on dates, this episode is for you! Want to jumpstart your own development? Take the first step and sign up for a breakthrough call with Kim right here: https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough And, if you're going to be in the San Francisco area July 25-26, Kim's Flirt Academy Workshop in partnership with The Great Love Debate is coming to you! Check out Kim's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SeltzerKimberly/ for more details.

How To Create An Emotional Connection When Dating Jun 19, 2019

Show notes

Have you ever heard of emotional attraction? Do you ever wonder how to create more meaningful connections with someone when you first meet? Most of us are familiar with physical attraction, but to build a strong, connected relationship it's important to move beyond the physical and learn to be more open in letting the opposite sex really feel you. This week, Kim dives into ways you can create a deep emotional attraction with your dates from the minute you meet them. If you feel like your conversations just scratch the surface or feel a lack of chemistry on dates, Kim delivers tips on how you can take them to the next level. You can move beyond simply describing your day, or what you like, to using feeling words that show who you are. This episode is your guide to creating an emotional connection and being vulnerable without going overboard. Listen in to save yourself from the dread of divulging too much too soon or holding back with your guard up on the first date! And, Kim dispels the myth that if you're not physically attracted to someone right away, you will never be. If you want to learn how to build emotional attraction and flirt effortlessly, sign up a FREE 30-minute breakthrough session with Kim right here: https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough If you've been relying on physical attraction to carry you through, or have found that you can't get to that next level in your dating life - Kim will help you crack the code to creating a deeper emotional attraction. And, if you're near Addison, Texas - Kim's Flirt Academy Workshop in partnership with The Great Love Debate is in your area tonight! Find out if the Flirt Academy is coming to a city near you on Kim's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SeltzerKimberly/

Interview With Dr. Robert Glover: How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone Jun 12, 2019

Show notes

Are you that super nice person who has a ton of friends, but not a lot of girlfriends or boyfriends? Do you find that no matter what you do, the opposite sex puts you in the friend zone? Everyone knows the feeling of crushing on someone who doesn't seem to notice or be at all receptive to your interest. And if you've ever been coached by Kim and you're a guy -- you'll recognize this week's expert interview! It's so exciting to have on Dr. Robert Glover, author of the celebrated book, "No More Mr. Nice Guy", and the forthcoming book, "Dating Essentials for Men". Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on "Nice Guy Syndrome" and has helped thousands of men shed their Friend Zone label and find happy, healthy, relationships. Listen in as Kim shocks Dr. Glover with ways women get stuck in the friend zone as well! Kim and Dr. Glover discuss ways both men and women get stuck in the friend zone and how to overcome them. They talk through some easy tips on body language, style and conversation tools to flirt and demonstrate interest. When you start with being sure of yourself, knowing your strengths and accepting your personality, it helps you escalate sexual attraction! If you're finding yourself getting stuck as being the constant "nice guy or gal" and want to learn how to create more chemistry on dates, take the first step and sign up for a FREE 30-minute breakthrough session with Kim here: https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough . Also, check out Dr. Glover's new book "Dating Essentials For Men" here: https://amzn.to/2Wr6Nbo

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