Calm AF | Overthinking, Anxiety & Nervous System Regulation

Latest Episodes:

How My Husband Responded When I Stopped Energy Managing Jul 20, 2022

Show notes

You're in a neurodiverse relationship. You are wired differently, a neurologically mixed couple. It's tricky. We get it because we have lived it. In this episode, hear Dave's side of my journey to recovery as an energy manager. And join Dave and me for our new couples' program! https://kristenfinch.com/oppositeaf

Also, have you subscribed to Calm AF's YouTube channel yet? I'm uploading new coaching videos there on the regular so be sure to subscribe to get all my latest. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow

Empowered Living Demands Radical Ownership Jul 13, 2022

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Taking radical ownership of your life empowers you to create the life you want, the relationships you want, the career you want, everything. It's not easy but it is crucial.

Personally speaking, my life overall changed for the better when I committed to fully owning it. My health improved. Our house began feeling like our home. And my neurodiverse marriage, which had been rocky, course-corrected. Not because "radical ownership" is some magical fairy wand that we can wave and suddenly everything is great, but because owning my life enabled me to make confident decisions about my circumstances that created real change. It's powerful and, like anything so powerful, it's not an easy thing to master. But endeavoring to take radical ownership of your life will serve you 100 percent of the time.

AND. Don't miss out on the next round of Rewired AF! Starts in October and I'm hosting the retreat right here in colorful Colorado! Get on the wait-list here: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/62b25c3c849e4b4fbbbea7d6

AND. Are you subscribed to the Calm AF YouTube channel? It's where you can go deeper, watch my coaching in action, and get lots of guidance, love, and support. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow

My BEST Marriage Advice that Sucks (Throwback) Jul 06, 2022

Show notes

The #1 thing I am asked to talk about is my neurodiverse marriage (Dave is autistic, I'm not). And I'm SO happy to talk about it...I'm SO happy to share what worked for our marriage. Except...my advice sucks.

I mean, it's SOLID gold, it is EXCELLENT advice, but it's HARD and it takes time, it requires you to change the way you've been living your life, and it can be painful.

I told you. Sucks.

On today's episode I'm talking about taking radical responsibility for your entire relationship so that you can transform it. I will share:

~ what radical ownership actually looks like

~how taking 100% responsibility for your entire life changes your entire life

~ why it's so hard to stay in your own lane

~ why letting people BE who they are will make YOU happier

I want you to stop WAITING for your external circumstances to change and change your life. I did it. You can, too. Join my next Rewired AF group to learn how: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/62b25c3c849e4b4fbbbea7d6

And, now you can subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube! Get free coaching and other nuggets of inspiration and insight here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow

5 Ways Energy Managers Self-Sabotage Jun 29, 2022

Show notes

One of the most important milestones in the recovery journey of an energy manager is the moment they recognize just how much their behaviors — which truly are self-sabotaging — are making their life way harder. Because this is the moment they realize they must stop managing other people's energies. It's also the moment in which the brain jumps in and works to convince you that NOW is not the time to ditch your energy manager habit. Let's look at the top five ways our brains wage protest against STOPPING managing everyone's energy so that you can understand your brain's end game and move forward accordingly.

Rewired is happening this fall! Get on the list: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/62b25c3c849e4b4fbbbea7d6

And have you subscribed on YouTube yet? It's free coaching. I mean... https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow

3 Ways to Boost Your Own Energy Efficiency Jun 22, 2022

Show notes

Life is draining. Trying to generate more and more energy drains us more and leads to burn-out. My advice? Boost your personal energy efficiency. Here's how.

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/62a90ba63e1f4ce38387ee34

And, go deeper on the Calm AF YouTube Channel.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow

Permission Slips Jun 15, 2022

Show notes

Today, for my energy managers, people pleasers, perfectionists, and overachievers, I am handing out permission slips. Because YOU probably aren't giving yourself permission to take care of yourself, to let yourself rest, to let yourself play, to STOP striving for perfection. I'm not giving you permission to check out or ignore life, I am giving you permission to do it shitty.

AND! Subscribe to Calm AF on YouTube for all my video coaching. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow

Internal versus External Validation (Required Throwback for Energy Managers) Jun 08, 2022

Show notes

Validation is recognition or acceptance that something or someone is worthy, legitimate, and acceptable. That's why validation, feeling valid, is such a big deal for all of us. When I talk to clients about internal validation, we are talking about a deep, almost profound knowing that who you are, and the feelings, thoughts, and opinions you bring to the table, are valid and worthwhile — without needing to hear it from anybody else. That is internal or self-validation. By contrast, external validation is when that sense of legitimacy and worthiness comes from somewhere/someone/something outside of you — from another person, for instance. Both sources of validation have remarkably positive and immediate effects on our mood because, to us humans and other pack animals, interpersonal acceptance and social legitimacy were factors crucial to our very survival. So, whether our ancestors carried themselves with true confidence or they sought kudos and pats on the back from their peers, the effects inside their brain would have felt equally good: The tribe thinks I am awesome and therefore, I am safe. However, only internal validation offers long-term, sustainable, positive effects on us psychologically and emotionally. Only internal validation serves our well-being over the long haul, and only internal validation builds and reinforces self-confidence.

Get more on the Calm AF YouTube channel! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow

Doubling Down on Self Care Jun 01, 2022

Show notes

When you feel overwhelmed, when it feels like you don't have time, when you feel like the best course of action is just to push through, that's when to double down on self care. The tragic mass shooting in Buffalo, followed last week by the unthinkable school shooting in Uvalde, have left us buried - practically suffocating - in feelings. For so many of us, the temptation is to ignore the heavy feelings and just white-knuckle our way through the next few weeks. It's to put the idea of self care away, to defer it until we can make time for it. But NOW is when you need to double-down on self care.

https://kristenfinch.com/calm-the-fk-down/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW3GBpWPPwcs36oYBgBVkow

Why I Stopped Energy Managing May 25, 2022

Show notes

If you wanna stop energy managing, you gotta find your WHY. Your BIG reason that keeps you on point. Here's mine. AND, this week, you can still dive deeper with me and a whole group of gorgeous souls in my new 16-week program, Calm the F**k Down. Tap the link below to join!

https://kristenfinch.com/calm-the-fk-down/

My Journey to Recovery as an Energy Manager May 18, 2022

Show notes

Lately, I've been talking a lot about Energy Managers and energy managing on my podcast. So much so, that a number of clients and listeners have turned to Google to learn even more about energy managing, only to discover zero search results related to this topic.

And that is because the concept of the Energy Manager is something that I made up, a phrase I've coined. While Energy Managers have always existed, the classification comes straight from my brain – and straight out of my own, personal experience. I'm sure Google will catch up.

So, today I'm going to share my own journey in my Energy Manager recovery. How it started, how it went, how it's going, the process I've honed to guide Energy Managers to recovery – and my a-ha moment that changed everything.

My new program, Calm the F**k Down, starts soon. Tap here for more details: https://kristenfinch.com/calm-the-fk-down/

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