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    Religion & Spirituality

    Call and Response with Krishna Das

    Devotional yogic chanting with a Western influence. CDs and cassettes for sale, artist background, schedule of live appearances.

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    Special Edition Conversations With KD May 7, 2020 Aug 31, 2021
    Show notes

    Call and Response Special Edition – Conversations With KD May 7, 2020 Taking time to look back and move forward. Conversations With KD episodes are derived from the recordings of KD’s online events from his home during the 2020/ 2021 days of social distancing and quarantine from the onset of COVID and beyond. “All we have is what’s in front of our faces, which is the ups and downs of life. So, you have to learn to deal with those situations in the best way… and there’s no God outside of your Self, your true Self. And that true Self is the same in every Being. So, if you treat other people the way you would like to be treated, you won’t have any problems at all.” – Krishna Das “Ram nam karne se sab pura ho jata” My Guru used to say that to us quite often. “From going on repeating these Names, everything is accomplished. Everything is accomplished.” A very simple statement. Easy to kind of just say, “Oh, yeah, ok,” but I’ve been thinking about that, or trying to truly believe that for 50 years or so. 40 Years. 45 years. So, if I truly believed that what He said, that from repeating these Names, everything is accomplished, I would probably be giving more of myself to the practice as I’m doing it. But, you know, we have our own karmic predicaments that we live in. Very distracted lives. Very fast lives. Although it’s a little bit slower these days. Although we can fill it up with stuff quite easily. I remember many many years ago, before I went to India I was up in the mountains of New Mexico with Ram Das at the Lama Foundation for about a month in the winter. It was fantastic. And every day we would spend many hours meeting together, singing, talking, meditating. And we heard about this New York artist who had moved out to New Mexico and lived just down the hill, down the mountain from where the Lama was, and he had been to India and he knew how to meditate. This was Big Time. So a group of us went down to meet with him, to see him. And we spent a couple of hours with him, talking to him. I just sat in the back of the room, listening. And as we were leaving, I was the last one to go out the door. As I was about to go out the door, he grabbed my arm and he looked at me and he said, “You. You have to find out why it is you can’t give yourself 100% to whatever you’re doing.” Oh. He nailed me to the wall. That was unbelievable. That was in 19-, the winter of, let’s see, ’69. That’s what? 50 years ago? I can still feel his hand on my arm. You know, if we look at ourselves, we notice how difficult it is to be fully engaged in something. We’re not talking about watching a movie where you’re fully lost for as long as the movie’s on or some kind of entertainment, but whatever you’re doing, being fully engaged. Not thinking about the future, not the past, not this and that, not the chatter that goes on in the brain all the time, but truly present. Truly present and aware. So, I’ve been working on that a long time. Or, at least noticing how little of myself I really can give to each moment. So, when it comes to chanting or a practice that you do regularly, you create a situation where you’re training yourself to let go and come back. Let go and come back. Over and over again. It doesn’t, it’s not about up here. It’s about in here. And it’s not an intellectual process. It’s not a learning process. It’s a training process. So, little by little your Being gets familiar with these sounds, with these Names in this case, and you begin to relax into the Name. And the Name, as we come to know it, has been brought into this world by a Being who has fully realized the reality of that Name, the reality of what is Named, and has brought that Name into this world for us as a practice, as a doorway into that Name, into the reality, which is our own true nature, which is our soul. The love we’re looking for exists within us. It lives within us. We look outside ourselves in the outside world. We look for it everywhere and we don’t find it. We don’t find it until we look within. It’s not like you look with your eyes within. It’s not like that. It’s moving more deeply into ourselves by releasing the stuff that holds us and takes us away again and again and again. That naturally moves us within. Letting go again and again. And we don’t have to make this up. We don’t have to manipulate ourselves. We don’t have to be looking for anything specific, any kind of experience. Once we know who we are, we’re wide open. Everything is here and now. Everything exists within us. We’re so achievement oriented in the West. We’re in such a hurry because everything is done so quickly here. But that’s not how we find ourselves. So, anyhow let’s take some questions for a while. Q: Who was Neem Karoli Baba’s spiritual master and what were some of the practices they would do? KD: We don’t know. We don’t know who His gurus were. We have no idea. He never spoke about it. He had some… We hear stories, when He was very young, He went to this ashram, that place, He met this guy, that guy. But nobody really knows that we ever spoke to, ever told us anything definitive about that. He never spoke about it. He never had pictures up of this and that, you know? He was very much believed to be a manifestation of Hanuman himself. I don’t even know what that means. You know, we use all these words, all these words that we bring, we learn from India or from the spiritual path, but we don’t really know what these words mean. But, the lineage that He seemed to be a part of was a Ram lineage, the lineage of Ram and Hanuman. But more than that we don’t know. We know that He, He spent many years in a cave, in caves. There were two small caves, well, one big cave in a town called Neeb Karori, which is where He got His name, the Baba from that town, that village. I visited there and it was a very small village, a very funky village and they told us not to leave the temple, especially at night. You needed to be very careful. Apparently, there’s a lot of murders in that part of the country. But that’s where He decided to build the cave. The villagers dug out a cave for Him in this field, or it was, I think, in the jungle at the time. Later on it was cleared. And nobody knew that He was there. And He was existing on, existing on one glass of milk a day, which, this old village lady used to bring to Him. And then, she died and so He was starving. Nobody knew He was there. So, the story goes that He picked up His chimta, which is this metal tong for moving fire around, moving the logs around, and He threatened Hanuman. He had a little murti of Hanuman that He had in the cave. He threatened Him. He said, “You’ll starve me so I’ll beat You.” And apparently, the next morning, there was milk outside the door. Q: Do I draw any inspiration from Eddie Vedder with my vocal style? KD: Excuse me. Eddie Vedder is a kid. I’m 20 years older than him. No, I mean, he’s great. In fact, I think his wife said something to somebody I knew, that she reminded me of him. No, I love Eddie Vedder, but I just sing. I don’t have a vocal style as far as I know. Q: How do I remain focused on God when I have to deal with the ups and downs of life? KD: If you have to ask that question, you don’t know what God is, where God is or who God is. So, you can’t be focused on God, because you don’t know. We don’t know. All we have is what’s in front of our faces, which is the ups and downs of life. So, you have to learn to deal with those situations in the best way and there’s no God outside of your Self, your true Self. And that true Self is the same in every Being. So, if you treat other people the way you would like to be treated, you won’t have any problems at all. Calm yourself down. Calm your mind down little by little and find a way to get through the day without falling on your face too many times, or creating negative karmas by being angry at people and hurting others and hurting yourself. There’s no God out there. The God that you’re looking for is within us and until you learn how to be kind to yourself in a real way, which is to give yourself a break and learn to trust your own intuition about where to look for these deeper realities, you know, you need to do some practice. And you need to treat others the way you want to be treated. Q: Towards the end of your film, One Track Heart, you use a word. Someone said you were giving something to people. I tried looking it up but I found only something… KD: Yeah, Maharajji had asked me to be the pujari or the priest of the Durga temple that He had built in Kainchi in the courtyard and I had to distribute the charanamrit. That means the nectar of the feet, which is the water that was used to wash the feet of the Goddess in the pujas, in the rituals. Yes, it is water, but it’s blessed water because it was used in the ritual. So, distributing that charanamrit was a way of distributing the blessings of the ritual that the other pujari did. I just watched. “Charanamrit” is the name. Q: I need advice on suicide. KD: You mean how to do it? I can’t help you. I needed advice, too, you know? I was going to jump in the river and kill myself. I was having a nervous breakdown in Kainchi, right there in the temple. Maharajji was there and it’s a long story. It’s in my book, Chants of a Lifetime. It’s in that book. But the short story is that I was completely flipped out and I was going to kill myself and He called me over and He said, “What are you going to do, jump in the river?” And He laughed. “Ha.” He said, “Worldly people don’t die.” Us. Worldly people. People who are attached to this world and to the ego. “Worldly people don’t die. Only Jesus died the real death.” What? “Why? Because He never thought of Himself. He gave His life for His people. He never thought of Himself.” So, the idea is that, all we do is think about ourselves and suicide is not going to change that. You go from this body to some other body and the karmas that you have, that you can’t deal with now, you won’t be able to deal with later, either. So, the best way is to try and find a way to be in this world in a good way. Whatever you have to do to find some peace of mind, you should do. Counseling, therapy, antidepressants, whatever works for you. And that’s what you should do. You should dedicate your life to finding a way to live here. Because you got born here for a reason. We all did. And what’s in our life is what we have to deal with and there’s nowhere we can go to get away from that. Suicide is not going to change that. You’re not going to have this body but you’re going to have another one and who knows what it’ll be? It might not be as good. Q: These days I have to wear a police radio by my ear while I’m on duty. KD: That doesn’t sound like too much fun. Q: I have to listen and talk to others and write, etcetera. Any suggestions about how to not ignore the least urgent but to include? KD: Once again, it’s all about when you’re not on duty, what you do. It’s about developing a practice that helps keep you in line as the day goes on. You just pay attention to what you’re doing. You do the best job you can do. Don’t try to… give yourself 100% to what you’re doing. Whatever it is. Just do the best that you can. And do that when you’re doing your practice, too. I’m sorry I can’t really get into that one. Q: What’s your advice on sannyasa, to dedicate one’s heart and mind totally in service and surrender to God and also does Guru have to have a physical form? KD: Absolutely not. Guru doesn’t have a physical form. We see it that way because that’s what we’re attached to, a physical body. A Guru is never identified with the physical body although a Guru might take a body to help us if it’s necessary for us, but Guru, God and our true nature, the Self, the Soul, are not different. And, you know, these days it seems like there’s Gurus on every corner, but those are not Gurus. Those are not Satgurus. Those are not real Gurus, true Gurus. They might be teachers, they might be more advanced than us. But a Guru, a real Guru is something else entirely. So, you can read books about some of the real Gurus; Swami Nityananda, who was Muktananda’s Guru; Shirdi Sai Baba; and my Guru, Neem Karoli Baba; there are many, Sri Ramakrishna. Read those guys. Read how they lived. Read what they said. Read how they got through the day. What did they do? That’s how you get a feel for what a real Guru is. They don’t do business. Q: Can you get the grace of the Guru even though He isn’t in the physical form, through Bhakti? KD: Of course, absolutely. Of course. Grace is always here. We’re just not paying attention. We are not paying attention. It’s raining everywhere all the time but we can’t drink until we cup our hands. So practice, devotion to practice, the path is what trains us to cup our hands to get the water that we need to drink. Absolutely. No question. Grace is all the time. And the other part of that question is surrender. What is sannyasa, to dedicate one’s heart and mind? That’s wishful thinking, that’s what it is. You know, that’s wishful thinking. Good luck, you know? It’s not so easy to do, you know? You’ll go to some cave, you’ll put on orange clothes. You’ll just have a big ego about having orange clothes and thinking you’re more humble than other people. Give yourself a break. Live in this world like you are now and don’t let your neurosis fuck you up and make you think you have to go be a sannyasi because you’re too scared to deal with your shit. There’s no where you can go where your shit is not going to be right there with you. Deal with it. Find a way to live with it. Find a way to love yourself. That’s sannyasa. Clothes, initiations don’t do anything unless you’re ripe and if you’re ripe, you’re ripe. You would know it. Q: How do you know if your difficult, painful, stressful life situation is part of your dharma? KD: Well, it’s certainly your karma… Q: and you stick with it all through ups and downs and pain and sorrow or if it’s time to make a change? KD: I have a feeling you’re talking about relationships, because you can’t change your life. You can change the people in it and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that if you, if you find yourself in a situation that is causing you pain and causing others pain and it’s just not working, you certainly can find a way to make something work for you. You know, we grow up thinking relationships are going to make us happy. We get turned on by somebody and we so-call “fall in love” and we fall in love and we are in a relationship. Relationships are busines. You give, you take, you give, you take. When somebody stops giving, you freak out. When you stop taking, they freak out. So, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to find a more peaceful way to be in the world but you can’t avoid, by changing the external circumstances you can’t necessarily, necessarily make yourself happy. So, whatever you do, you should do with as much kindness to yourself and others that you can do, whatever that means to you. You’re the only one who knows. Q: How does it feel to offer the chants without the large energy you’re used to in the church or in a theater? KD: It feels fine. Better than robbing banks. I’m having a good time. I’m singing and you’re singing. That’s good. You know, because we’re attached to the physical body, because we’re attached to the physical body, we think we’re here and other people are somewhere else. That’s only one way of looking at it. In the space of the heart and the sky of the mind, we’re all within that and when, certainly when we’re doing practice, we’re all tuning into that space together and it’s all about doing the practice and if I was missing the energy of the people, I would notice that and I would let go and I wouldn’t be missing it anymore. You keep coming back to the chant. Anything you think about it, you keep letting it go and coming back. So, for me it’s not, I mean it’s very different on many levels, but i…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Ep. 48 | Hanuman, Mrs. Hanuman, and Time Machines Aug 24, 2021
    Show notes

    Call and Response Ep. 48 | Hanuman, Mrs. Hanuman, and Time Machines “When you attain that oneness, you’re also one with all Beings in all moments of time, past, present and future. So, because, after all, time is like a space, it’s like a subtler space than space is. You know, time, it’s a space of time, a space of duration, of continuum. Right? And so, everything is past and future. So, when you become Buddha, you’re all in all moments of the future, so then you become aware that everyone else will eventually become Buddha, and not only that but you then manifest to accelerate that process so they can do it as quickly as possible. The really dense ones might take a million lifetimes. The quicker ones, a hundred, etcetera. But You’re going to work on it with them. That’s your attitude. This is the sci-fi idea of Kalachakra, ok?” – Robert Thurman KD: Yeah. All these practices, all these traditions really are here for us to help us overcome the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, which for the most part are at least limiting, to say the least. So all these practices are so based in love. Some years ago, one of the lamas I study with, Tsoknyi Rinpoche, invited me to sing at one of His retreats where He was going to teach on devotion. Now, in Tibetan Buddhism, devotion is not talked about separately as a subject usually. It’s part of the practices. But Rinpoche was going to discuss that aspect of devotion separately. So, He asked me to sing and so I sang and, but one of the things He said, over and over is that, if we don’t love ourselves, how will we ever really love all Beings? Not to mention, another Being? Real love. And it was very interesting to see some of His students react to that because, you know, Buddhists. What are you going to do with them? You know? So intellectual sometimes, you know? Thinking about stuff and understanding the philosophy and I remember one time, I said to Rinpoche, because I don’t take that many teachings with Him but we became very friendly at one point and I said, “Rinpoche, don’t underestimate the ability of Westerners to not understand what you’re talking about.”And He went… and then, by the next year, He had reorganized His teachings. It was very interesting because I think He realized that we talk a good game, but when it comes to the nitty gritty, we hide. Our issues cloud the sun. Like the clouds, they block the sun, so… and of course, Her Loving Kindness talks about this all the time, you know, how to, how offering Loving Kindness to others heals our own hearts. And Maharajji used to say, “Don’t think about yourself.” You know? When I was going to kill myself that time… I was going to jump in the river behind the temple, you know? It was about six inches deep, but I figured if I got my head, you know, stuck under a rock, I could probably get it done, you know? So He said, “What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Jump in the river?” He said, “You can’t die.” He said, “Worldly people don’t die.” He said, “Only Jesus died the real death.” What is He talking about? Only Jesus died? And He looked, “Yeah. Why? Because He never thought of Himself.” What is the real death? What’s the death of the ego? When thoughts of “me” no longer arise. When it isn’t about “me” anymore. “How am I doing?” “How am I doing now?” “Am I wearing the right clothes?” “Am I sitting straight enough?” “Did I put on enough makeup?” “I got that…” what is it they call that stuff? “acne medicine” it’s been so long since I had a pimple. I don’t remember because I don’t have a mind either, you know? So, you know, He never thought of Himself. Thoughts of “me” never arose in that Being. And of course, all I did was think about myself. And I said, “Baba, all I do is think about myself. What am I going to do?” And He looks at me, “Attachment. Ha!” He wasn’t buying it. So eventually I gave it up for that particular period of time. All right. Let’s sing a little bit. And then we’ll, you know we’re going to go back and forth with Bob. Talking and singing. Talking and singing. Falling asleep. Talking and singing. And you’ll get a whole three hour dose tomorrow, so that’s going to be great. So, I usually start with this prayer. In fact, I always start with this prayer. It’s a prayer to Hanuman. Now, in Indian system, in the Ramayana, the story of Ram, Ram’s wife, Sita is stolen by the demon Ravana. And Ravana has ten heads. Each head is for one of the senses and object of the senses. It’s the whole worldly attachment and identification. So, Sita is the individual soul, they say, and so the ego wants that soul, wants the shakti, wants the juice. So, it grabs it and takes it away to its island and it wants to mate with it. But due to a curse, the ego can’t seduce the soul. The soul has to fall in love with the ego. Otherwise, the ego doesn’t get the juice. And that could never happen. So, it’s a beautiful story. So, but in the story, Rama, who’s God and who’s job in that incarnation as that avatar, is to pretend that He’s a human being. The perfect human being. And He pretends He doesn’t know what’s going on. But at one point, He has to kind of shake it up a little bit and He sees, He tells Hanuman, “Ok, so here, take my ring. And if you meet Sita,” because the monkeys are going to, that Ram meets, are going to go out and try to find Sita, because Ram was wandering in the jungle crying for His wife and He doesn’t know where She is and He’s all alone and what’s He going to do and then He meets the monkeys. And He meets Hanuman. So, now all the monkeys are going to cover the earth looking for Sita. But Ram gives Hanuman His ring. And He says, “When you find Sita, show Her this ring so She knows you come from me.” So, Hanuman is this, the power of grace, the flow of grace which is always flowing and what it does is it connects that individual reflection with the great light, the one light. And by removing the obstacles and locating that within us, so this prayer to Hanuman is what I usually start with. Now, I really wouldn’t know anything about Hanuman except that when we we got to India, we found out that Maharajji was considered to be an actual incarnation of Hanuman. And the more we spent time with Him, the more we got glimpses into what that really means and how that works. Bob: So, can I ask you a question? So, Hanuman has a, has a brother, Sughreeva, or something? Hanuman has a brother, doesn’t he? KD: No, Sughreeva is His king. Bob: Sughreeva is the king of the monkeys. Does He have a Mrs. Hanuman? KD: No Mrs. Hanuman. According to most people. But you told me a story once. Bob: Yes. KD: Would you like to tell that now? Bob: But that’s about Tibet. That’s Tibet’s vision, but I think in Ramayana and Rama lore… KD: There’s no Mrs. Hanuman. Bob: There’s no Mrs. Hanuman. He doesn’t show up for tea with Rama and Sita when all’s over in the war and He brings along Mrs. Hanuman. KD: No Mrs. Hanuman anywhere. Bob: Mrs. Hanuman has to stay in the tree? Mrs. Hanuman stays in the tree? KD: Does He say He’s… Bob: I mean, does she just stay in the tree? She doesn’t come and hang out with Rama? KD: Who? Bob: Mrs. Hanuman. KD: There is no Mrs. Hanuman. Bob: There is. Are you kidding? Well, actually, in the Tibetan story, maybe you’re right, but in the Tibetan story, they don’t call them Hanuman, necessarily in that particular origin myth of the Tibetans. They say He’s a monkey. KD: A celibate monkey God. Bob: As a monkey, He’s an emanation of Avalokiteshvara, Lokeshvara, Avalokiteshvara. And Avalokiteshvara, you know, the word “Avalokita”, or even “Loka” but “Avalokita” especially, means, “Ishwara” means, you know “God,” and “Avalokita” means “the caring one who looks on with caring love”, loving care. So that’s what “avalokita” means. Avalokita Ishvara. It’s kind of like a little dig at Maha Ishwara, the great God who’s like a Big Shot type of thing. This is the one who’s futzing over people, who cares about them. So, anyway, they think of Him as, He’s an emanation, and He’s a monkey monk. He’s a monk monkey. KD: A celibate monkey god. Bob: A celibate monkey god. And a bodhisattva. And a bodhisattva god. And He goes to the mountains in Tibet and He meditates there and He’s meditating, and then He’s still the beautiful golden wonderful like, monkey, bodhisattva monkey, so there’s a kind of Goddess of the mountain who’s sometimes they call her an ogress. Or a demoness. But that’s because she can be fierce, but she’s really beautiful, also. And she falls in love with the monkey monk. So, she says, “Come on. What is this monkey monk business? I want to marry you. I want you to marry me. What’s the monk thing?” And He says, “No, no no I’m a monk. I may be a monkey, but I’m a monk. So, no marrying. I don’t marry.” And then this goes on and on, then finally, She gets desperate, because she’s really in love with Him. And She knows He should, He’s kind of likes Her a lot, too, but He’s a monk. And so then, He asks another form of Lokeshwara, the one who’s in the pure land, Sukhavati the blissful land of Amitabha, infinite light Buddha, and the heavenly plane up there in the Brahma Akanishta, heaven, and the top of what they call the Form Realm, the Realm of Pure Form. And He says, “Ok, I know you emanated me as a monk monkey, but this lady is going to throw herself off the mountain if I don’t marry her. So, could I give back my monk vow?” And, “Yeah, sure, you know? You don’t have to be a monk. It’s ok. You can give it back.” KD: Just like that? Yeah, sure? Bob: Just like what? KD: Just like that? Ok, what the hell? Bob: Yeah, He offers it back. KD: Ok. Bob: For an act of compassion. To save the life of this rock goddess, demoness, ogress, beautiful mountain goddess. And so, so they marry. KD: He got the night off. Bob: And they produced many many children and they have six different varieties of the children because these are Beings that come from the six planes of existence, you know? Hell, Preta Realm, the realm of so-called Hungry Ghosts, and the Animal Realm, Human Realm, Asura Titan Realm and Deva Realm, you know, God Realm. Six Realms. So, there are different kinds of Tibetans, in other words. And then the whole Tibetan race comes from that. KD: From the mating of the celibate monkey God and the demoness. Bob: So, they say that, typical chauvinist warriors, tribal, originally, they blamed their naughtiness on the rock ogress, and they blamed their goodness on the monkey monk. Typical chauvinist. But the point is, that’s the story and we connect that to Hanuman. KD: He was a good monk. But was he… He seems to have been a good husband. Bob: Because you discovered something that I didn’t realize, right? In the Kalachakra. Tell us what you discovered. KD: Oh yeah. Bob: In the wheel of time prophecy. KD: Look. First, explain a little bit about what the Kalachakra is. Bob: Kalachakra means “time machine.” KD: The Time Machine. Ha. Bob: And it’s a chakra, because chakra means a “wheel”, but just like we say about someone who comes up with a Tesla, we say, “Oh, nice wheels,” we say. So, in Sanskrit, chakra can just mean a “machine.” And so, the Kalachakra is a form of Buddha that Buddha manifests to show His presence in all Time, because, and He shows that to give an excuse, that’s His excuse for becoming a Buddha. Because He shouldn’t become a Buddha as a Bodhisattva, unless everybody’s already a Buddha. Right? So, in other words, we, like, I was probably some kind of, like, a worm or something on the side of the tree under which Buddha attained enlightenment. And I could have complained, “You promised, as a Bodhisattva, you wouldn’t attain freedom of suffering until we’re all free from suffering. So where are you heading? Where are you going? What’s up? You’re like the Lone Ranger? You’re leaving town and we’re still here? What is that?” And so He then shows Himself as a Kalachakra Time Machine because one of the aspects of enlightenment is not only do you experience yourself as everyone else, which is really weird, it’s a weird thing. People wrongly think enlightenment means something, some bright light goes off in your brain and you sort of go poof and disappear. And then we’re all, “Oh gee whiz, it was great, He attained enlightenment.” But that sucks, you know, that idea. It totally sucks. What good is that if He disappears. That doesn’t do mean any good. That’s silly. But actually enlightenment is defined as where you realize you’re everyone. And also, do you not realize you’re everyone, and this is very important, it’s not what I’d call the “cheap experience of one-ness.” The cheap experience of one-ness is where you kind of, you get a sort of bright light and everybody else is also dissolves into the bright light and you dissolve into the bright light, and you’re all one, and you’re all just a bright light. So, you don’t feel guilty that you abandoned people to go and enjoy being in a bright light, because you feel you’re not there either. So, we’re all one and nobody’s there. Isn’t that great? KD: Fantastic. Bob: That’s what I call the cheap one. And then you come back later and say “Oh, it was all One.” KD: But do you come back later? Bob: And then actually, some people even act like, “Well, I know it’s all One, because I saw everybody else and myself disappear and you did so I want like, a Rolls Royce or something.” Or nowadays it might have been a Tesla. “I’ll have a hundred Teslas please.” But never mind. So they behave badly sometimes, people like that. But you see, the Expensive Oneness is different. The Expensive Oneness is yes, you have a kind of bright light experience, maybe, but the final experience is, It’s All One and Everybody’s There. And they’re all looking at You. And You suddenly find yourself looking at Your Self from their perspective. Can you imagine that? You know, some of you probably are empathetic. Everyone who’s been a mother has been empathetic. Everyone who’s been a loving father has been empathetic. Right? You feel you are that little goo goo gaga thing there, you know, for awhile. Or you feel that about your lover. So everyone has had the experience of feeling they are two people or more, actually people on a football team, they think they’re the whole team, you know? Sometimes. That’s why they get mad when somebody knocks out their friend, you know? And army people even get like that. So, human beings can expand their sense of identification. So, but imagine if your sense of identification became so huge that you felt you were everyone, even just in this room, much less everyone on the whole planet? And much less, not just the human beings, all the animals? All the Gods? All the Devas? All the Demons? Everyone. That would be truly weird, wouldn’t it? KD: That’s the Expensive Oneness, for sure. Bob: That would be super weird, and then, you become frustrated because when you’re in that light, you saw that everyone already has Buddha nature, they’re made, even, of Buddha Bliss. That’s what the positive gracious vision is. But they don’t know it. And then, you can’t blast them with Bliss, because they’re too paranoid. If you go blast somebody with bliss, then they think the Alien is after them, and they’re going to like, “Don’t get in my space! I don’t want that bliss! That’s your bliss! Leave me alone! I have my own bliss!” That’s what people do. So, you can’t do that. The only thing, each one has to open to the reality, through their own mindfulness taken to its limit, taken to what they call the limited being, where they’re mindful of their true nature. So, then, apparently, and this, I know its preposterous, because the Indian people, they don’t need Star Trek. They had it thousands of years ago. KD: Yeah. Bob: Total Star Trek. The Ramayana is Star Trek. The Monkey brings the mountain for medicine and… all the soldiers jump up? KD: They fly around in these big things, yeah. Bob: They all had Star Trek a long time ago. And, you know, Star Trek is some way of trying…

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    Special Edition Conversations With KD April 30, 2020 Aug 17, 2021
    Show notes

    Call and Response Special Edition – Conversations With KD April 30, 2020 Taking time to look back and move forward. Conversations With KD episodes are derived from the recordings of KD’s online events from his home during the 2020/ 2021 days of social distancing and quarantine from the onset of COVID and beyond. “Ram Dass, my best friend, one of my best friends, long-term spiritual friends and elders, just died a month or two ago. He’s so present. Any time I think of him, he’s present. I’m not looking for signs. I feel his presence. And you will feel your people’s presence if you just allow yourself to. You won’t be able to touch them physically. But that doesn’t mean they’re not here. Because we’re attached to our physical bodies. Because we identify with our physical and emotional parts. We can’t imagine something without that. However, there are many Beings, many many more Beings out of the body than are in bodies I’m sure. I’ve heard that many times. And if you want to feel those things, one has to open up to these realities through practice.” – Krishna Das So, you know, when we add a practice to our day, it changes the way we sit in the moment. It just does. It just changes the way we sit in the moment and it’s not about whether we’re doing it well or we’re not doing it well or we’re having any particular type of experience. That’s one of our biggest problems. We’re expecting something. We have an idea that we have to get something. You know, I remember sitting in front of Maharajji and I almost laughed out loud because I saw that I was sitting there and I was waiting for something to happen and when I thought about what it was I was waiting to happen, I realized I was waiting for a moment when I would not be here, when I’d be gone. And I laughed because I realized, or I understood at that moment that I would never be gone. There was no time. There was no moment anywhere, ever where I would be gone. There will come a time I hope when I am not attached and identified with my thoughts and my negative emotions, especially. But I’ll only be more here then. More present. So, this whole feeling of wanting to be gone means I wanted to be freed from my unhappiness and my crazy neurotic mind. It was driving me crazy. My self-judging, my self-loathing, all the programs. So, yeah. Anyway, that’s the deal. Let’s see some questions. Q: I would like to ask how to find hope in difficult times. I know what you mean, but it’s really not hope that you want. It’s faith that you want. Maybe I’m picking at straws here but hope is like blind faith. Faith that you have no reason to feel hope because it’s out of your hands. It’s just like, you know, you put your hope in something else. You imagine maybe some time will come when you won’t feel so bad. But faith is something you get from… Faith means, in a way, it can also mean confidence in yourself. Confidence that you can deal with whatever arises in a good way and that’s a big thing. I was sitting with Maharajji in an apartment building in Bombay. At the time it was called that. Around Christmas 1972. And we’d been sitting for hours. He was lying on the bed. He was lying this way. He’d sit up. Then He’d lie down this way and He’d sit up. And I was just watching Him. Watching Him quietly. All of a sudden, He sits up and He looks at me and He says, “Courage is a really big thing.” I was like, “What’s going to happen?” You know? And the Indian devotee there, he was the only one there. He looked at me and he said… He looked at Baba and said, “But Oh Baba, but God takes care of His devotees.” Maharajji just shot Him a glance and He looked back at me and He said, “Courage is a really big thing.” Courage is a really big thing. There have been times in my life when… that it was enough to deal with life as it appears to us, as it arrives in our moment, in our life, in our space. So, if you don’t… what’s the sense of having hope without developing your own muscles to deal with life. It’s not always fun and it’s not always pleasant and sometimes it really hurts a lot. Those are the moments that, if you have developed a way to sit within your self with a certain kind of confidence from your own experience, and a certain trust in your self based on your own experiences dealing with this stuff, that’s what happens. You don’t, you don’t get lost in blind faith or hope. But you develop real faith, real faith. You know? I remember when I was a kid, I was on the track team and I used to throw the discus and so I would sit around for hours waiting for my chance and so I had this book on Buddhism that I found somewhere and I remember reading in the book, I was sitting there on the field, I remember reading that Buddha said that your enlightenment is up to you. And I couldn’t believe it because when you’re 18… 17, 18… nothing is up to you. Everybody’s telling you what to do. You have rules. You have regulations. You’ve got to go to school. You’ve got all this shit that’s going on. That my enlightenment was up to me was a revelation. But, all these years later, we’re still working on it. Q: why it is important to have a picture of one’s guru in one’s space? It’s not important. You don’t have to, but when you love someone and when someone’s been so important to your life… well, that’s the way I feel about Maharajji. Meeting Him saved me. Meeting Ram Dass… totally opened up something else for me. So, it helps me remember. It helps me keep His image in my heart. That’s why I do it. I don’t know why you do it or don’t do it. *Q: Behavior… Hate, incest… I do not want to respond in kind… (video glitched and question was cut off in video) Inhumanity to man. Humans treating each other terribly. There’s so many things to say about this. It’s not a quick answer. On one level, you do what you have to do to protect yourself, if it’s you we’re talking about. Protect yourself or a loved on. There’s a lot of trauma that we store in the body, in the emotional body and work with it. As far as stopping someone from doing that kind of thing, well it depends on who it is, but certainly if you can stop it, if you can prevent that from happening, do whatever you can to prevent it I would say. Difficult situation though. Especially in families when there are secrets and one or other or both of the parents refuse to deal with the situation. Very painful. Very painful stuff. But, if you are involved with that kind of situation anyway, I would say to try to find some counseling. There’s certainly wonderful ways of counseling that are open to us now that even 10 years ago weren’t available. But definitely try to find a way to work with it. Try to find the best way to work with it in your life. There’s no quick answer that I can give. Q: Do I have any words on corrupt Guru-Student relationships, like what’s happening in different situation? I’m sure I do. You know, it’s a quality of the times. It’s a quality of the times. People some power in a situation, you know. What do they say? Absolute power corrupts absolutely. If one has any desires, the minute one gets power, one will consciously or unconsciously use that energy or that power to fulfill those desires and those desires are mostly selfish self-centered desires for fame, for money, for sex, for power over people, manipulative power. It’s really horrible. Those situations are unbelievably painful. But on the other side, let’s… See, I was in a cult for a few years after being with Maharajji, after He had left His body and after I was back in America. I got involved in a situation which was essentially a cult and the idea of a cult is that you give up your own sense of right and wrong. You give up your own feelings and your own trust in yourself and you replace it with this person outside of yourself. And I did that for maybe three years. Maybe even longer. Until finally, I had enough. I had enough. I could no longer squelch my own feelings down like I had for those years. You see, I needed something from that person. I wanted… I felt bad Maharajji had left me, I thought, and I was lost in the world. I couldn’t find love and affection and this person was willing to pat me on the head and call me a good little boy and give me love and affection, but there was a price I had to pay which was, I had to give myself away. So, if I didn’t have that desire, I wouldn’t have gotten into that situation. If I didn’t have that unprocessed emotional need, neediness, I wouldn’t have gotten into that situation. So, there’s that aspect of it, too. It’s tricky. But, you live and learn, you know? You live and learn. And life is for learning and experiencing. And like I say over and over again, for me, it seems like the whole of spiritual practice and path is to learn to trust one’s self. And to be, and to be able to actually discern what your real feelings are about a situation and see all the different forces at work within yourself. It’s hard. It’s hard. So, there’s a lot more that can be said about that but ultimately it comes down to what we want and what we need and what we’re willing to do and willing to give away to get what we need. Now, truthfully, we don’t need anything from the outside and a real Guru will, for the most part, will not really take anything away from you other than your bullshit. So, I’ve just never been much, you know… very difficult situation. Because even in a valid tradition there are many so-called teachers who are not finished beings and they project themselves as if they are desireless and westerners, for the most part, humans for the most part, are easily led astray because of our own needs. You can bring the horse to water but if it is not thirsty you can not make it drink. So, we all need to take responsibility for our own actions, which we’re not used to doing. We always want to blame people for being, for this or for that, or this or that, we’re always blaming others. And we’re very unwilling or unable to actually responsibility for ourselves. So, I don’t think there’s any real damage for getting involved with a being like that. It may be a lot of pain but one has to deal with those situations as they arise. There’s a reason why we got caught in that situation. So, first let’s take responsibility for ourselves which is pretty much the only thing we can do. Even the belief that we can’t progress on the path without a Guru and without getting something from a Guru… you know, I remember I saw this movie, what was it called? It stared Kate Winslett as this young woman from Australia who went to India and got involved with this guru scene, a big scene, and her parents were scared and she stopped coming home. She stayed there and her parents were afraid she was caught in a cult or something like that. And so, they sent a message to her saying that her father was sick and was dying and please come home and they sent her a ticket. So, she came home and then it turned out her father wasn’t sick at all and they, they brought in this deprogrammer who was Harvey Keitel, Bad Lieutenant, the Baddest guy on the planet, this programmer, brings him in from America and he gets off the plane all dressed in black and they keep her captive in this cabin with Harvey. I loved it. Anyway, so at one point she screams at him, “You’ll never take away what my Guru’s given me.” I laughed out loud because I thought, “What did Maharajji ever give me that could be taken away? Nothing. He only gave me my self and the love that lives within me.” Which, how could you… you could forget about it but it can’t be taken away. I just thought that was great. I think they wound up screwing and whatever. I don’t know what happened with them. Crazy thing. Q: I was in a relationship with a girl but her love ran dry. Now those thoughts come up while doing sadhana. How to deal with that? Come back to the japa. Come back to the chant. Let go of the thoughts. Again and again and again. In a relationship but her love ran dry… You know, I remember I was very much in love with a woman once, many years ago, I was telling my Indian father, Mr. Tiwari about her and I was going on and on and he was listening… when I finally finished blurting, he looks at me and says, “My boy, relationships are business. Do your business. Enjoy. But love? Love is what lasts 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.” I hated him. I hated him for that. It took me a long time to get over that, how much…. How angry I was at him for that. But you know, what he meant was that, in relationships, the way we, human relationships, there’s give and take. You give somebody something and you get something in return. You give somebody a little pat on the head and they give you a pat on the head. You push their button. They push your button. Is that love? That could be friendship. It could be affection. It could be sense pleasures. It could be so many things. It could be comfort and kindness. Everything. Beautiful things. But, Tiwari was saying, “Love is not something that comes and goes.” It’s not something you fall in. It’s not something you fall out of. It is our true nature. Relationships come and go. These days, that’s the way it is. So, you deal with it by just doing your practice and living your life and seeing how much, seeing what you expected to get from that relationship, seeing how needy we are, you are. Noticing all those things. And you keep… the main thing is to just keep breathing. You keep breathing long enough, you’ll forget about it. Guaranteed. Q: If by death you get moksha, then why did Hanuman immortal? Who says you get moksha by death? All you get is another body. There’s no moksha from just dying. What you take with you when you leave your body is your state of mind. If your state of mind is moksha, yeah, you get moksha. You already have it. If it isn’t, you don’t. That’s a strange belief. And as far as, it was Sita who blessed Hanuman… no, it was Ram. He said, “As long as my Name is remembered in this world, Hanuman, please keep your body to help people.” So, that was grace, the grace of God to help us, to help us out of our suffering and our illusions. Q: My sister is near the end of stages in her physical body from battling cancer. She’s in extreme physical pain. She’s afraid of dying and does not want to let go. How can I help her get peace? Well, talking to her is not going to help. If anything is going to help, it would be sitting with her, holding her in your heart, talking to her in your mind and creating a space where, if there’s any part of her that’s able to, she could enter into that space or at least feel that space. But, we westerners mostly and now most people in the world, we live like we’re never going to die. Like, it’s just an afterthought. Oh, you know… and so when that moment arises, we are not ready to let go. So, one has to do the practice now. One has to understand what life is about now or make the effort now because later you may not be able to. So, for someone who’s suffering like that, you can just, you can, I mean there are some techniques called Tonglen which is exchanging the pain of others and taking it on yourself, but this is something that one has to be initiated in and one has to really understand how to do it correctly. And even then, we may not experience, in that moment, that it was any help. We just don’t know because we don’t know what death, what really happens, what it feels like. It’s not nothing. Nothing’s nothing. Nothing is actually something, which it couldn’t be nothing. So, you can just sit with her and breath her in and out and wish her well and see her in light. All those things. I don’t know what else one could do in that situation. Try to make her as comfortable as you can. You know? Yeah. Someone once asked the Dalai Lama about painkillers when one is dying, if it was bad to take those to alleviate the pain and suffering while someone is dying and He said that the part of the being that reincarnates is not affected by painkillers, one way or the other. An…

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    Ep. 47 | Hindu-Buddhist Connections and A Short Discussion of Hatred Aug 10, 2021
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    Call and Response Ep. 47 | Hindu-Buddhist Connections and A Short Discussion of Hatred

    “Once it reaches India, the vajra idea, that’s when it’s coming from, central asia, chariot warriors and so on. They were kshatriyas, you know? But when it gets into India after some time, it comes to mean this infinite, stronger than the thunderbolt is this infinite energy of love and that infinite energy of love is not violent because its, it doesn’t need violence because it’s everything. So, it’s a really wonderful Indian vision, and it’s general, both sides, all sides in India, Jain, Buddhists, Hindu. “ – Robert Thurman

    KD: So, at some point, things get very bad and the negative energy gets very strong and kind of get, they all decide to attack the kingdom of Shambhala where all of us will be living at that point.

    Bob: Petroleum Industry attacks them, they say.

    KD: Petroleum Industry, etcetera.

    Bob: They do.

    KD: So, they form a big army and they get ready to attack. Now, there happens to be a king in Shambhala, in the kingdom of Shambhala, named Raudra Chakri, which means, “the wrathful one with the wheel”. Now, you know Vishnu, His weapon is the chakra, a wheel. And so He becomes aware of this, the demons and the humans and all the bad negative energy getting together and what He does is He goes into this super long trance and He gathers all His powers and when He comes out, the army of Shambhala goes out to meet the army of the bad guys and now, in the Ramayana, we’re talking about earlier, Hanuman finds Sita, comes back and then Rama goes to beat up the bad guys. And the armies of Rama kill all the other bad guys but they leave the real bad guy for Rama to kill, because He has to kill, only He can kill that guy. So, in the Kalachakra tantra, this battle begins and the king sends his two generals, this is in the text, the king sends his two generals to fight, to lead the fight against the armies and what are their names? Shiva and Hanuman. Hello. Hello are you there?

    Bob: You discovered it. I didn’t even notice it.

    KD: I found this in a book one day. I opened up this book. It was on a friend’s shelf and I went, “what?” So, this was in the Tibetan text, the generals of the army of Shambhala are Shiva and Hanuman; Sanskrit text, originally, and they destroy the armies, leaving only the bad guy for the king to fight and he kills the guy and then the golden age arises.

    Bob: By the way, also the name of the king, Kalki, is also the name of the 10th Avatar of Vishnu.

    KD: Yes.

    Bob: So, it’s a similar, there’s a similar apocalyptic succession.

    KD: The lineage of Shambhalic kings, the lineage of Avatars, the so-called Hindu avatars, and the lineage of the Siddhas, each incarnation is exactly the same and what we’re talking about here is Raudra Chakri, which is the Shambalic King, and then on the so-called Hindu side is the Kalki Avatar, the next Avatar, and Raudri Chakri, and where’s Maittreya in this?

    Bob: Raudra Chakri’s the incarnation of Vajra Pani

    KD: Vajrapani. That’s beyond my pay grade.

    Bob: Vajrapani.

    KD: So, then, but it’s…

    Bob: Maittreya’s around. That happens later. Thousands of years later.

    KD: Oh, I see, thousands of years later.

    Bob: This is still Shakyamuni Buddha’s time, you know. So, Shakyamuni Buddha is seeing to it that this planet, it becomes the best platform for people to realize, Beings to realize their own true nature, which is the nature of love and wisdom. Wisdom and love, which everybody already has if they only knew. If we only knew.

    KD: It all comes back to the love again. It all comes back to that. Again and again and again. That’s the way we’re made, you know? That’s the way we’re made. We’re made that way.

    KD: Funny thing.

    Bob: What’s that?

    KD: When I was having my nervous breakdown in India, when I was going to kill myself.

    Bob: The one in India.

    KD: Yeah, in India, in the old days with Maharajji. So, He was teasing me about getting married all the time and I, I didn’t want to do that because I saw my other friends kind of met, you know, there and they, “oh, hey how ya doin?” and they’d come to Maharajji and He’d say, “Oh, you’re friends?” And they’d go “yeah.” “Oh, that’s really good.” The next day He’d say, “Oh, you’re good friends.” And the next day, “Ok. Boom. You’re married. Go to America.” So, America was not my idea. I was not going back so I was just avoiding that situation.

    Bob: You were a Buddha and then you’re married? I couldn’t catch what you said. Are you married?

    KD: No. He was teasing me about getting married, Maharajji, all the time. Teasing me.

    Bob: To save you from suicide.

    KD: To save me from suicide, as if that would save me. But anyway, I saw the other people get married and then he’d send them away. And I didn’t want to get sent away. So, I was just like this, “No, no no.”

    Bob: I see.

    KD: So, a couple of days after my breakdown, I was in the jungle by myself sitting on a rock and I thought, “Why don’t I smoke some hash?”

    Bob: You had some?

    KD: I had some. I wasn’t a big smoker, but it just so happened that I had a little bit and I was sitting on this nice rock in the jungle and I thought, “Ok, let’s smoke a little, this is good.” So, I took a couple of hits and I completely freaked out and I went running back to the temple into the temple, I ran into the temple, He’s sitting there inside His room with the door, with the window open waiting for me. And He goes, “Come here!”

    And I went there. He said, “What’s your name?” I said, “Krishna Das.” He said, “No! You are Bajarang Bali. The thunderbolt, lightning bolt body form of Hanuman, strongest…” Bajarang Bali. “Bali” means powerful. Bajarang. “rang” means body. So, He said, “What’s your name?” I said, “Krishna Das”. He said, “Nay. Bajarang Bali. What’s your name?” “Krishna Das.” “Nay! Bajarang Bali.” We were arguing. So, I said, now Bajarang Bali, Hanuman was celibate, right? Not married, until he got to Tibet, so I said to Maharajji, I said, “Oh, ok, you want me to be Bajarang Bali, ok, but You remember, He was the eternal celibate” and He cracked up. He laughed so hard.

    Bob: Really?

    KD: He was slapping His thighs and laughing. It was as if He knew something that nobody else knew. I had the feeling then, long before I knew this story and then He said, “Ok, wiseguy. You’re Janaka.” Now, Janaka was Sita’s father, adopted father, and He was a Rajarishi. He was a king but he was also a saint, a realized Being. A Rishi. A Rajarishi. And He said, “Ok, you’re Janaka, you’ll have Yog and Bhog.” Bhog is worldly enjoyments and Yog is union with God. So, I said, “Ok.”

    Bob: That’s good. Bajarang Bali.

    KD: Bajarang Bali. Yog and Bhog.

    Bob: Vajra means, Vajra is a really great word. It means “diamond” because it’s unbreakable and it can mean a thunderbolt. But it’s a wonderful thing when we come to tantra in India, where it comes to mean what they call the clear light of the void, which means, or of emptiness, which means “infinite energy of reality”, basically. But that infinite energy is the love energy and what I’m saying is that India took, from the vedic idea, in the vedas it’s not love. In the veda, vajra means a thunderbolt and it’s a weapon of Indra

    KD: Yeah, Indra’s weapon

    Bob: And He uses it like, to shatter citadels. And so much of the vedic mantras are war songs.

    KD: Right.

    Bob: And they’re calling on Indra after He takes Soma, He goes and He shatters the citadels of their enemies and then they conquer those places. But in, but once it reaches India, the vajra idea, that’s when it’s coming from, central asia, chariot warriors and so on. They were kshatriyas, you know? But when it gets into India after some time, it comes to mean this infinite, stronger than the thunderbolt is this infinite energy of love and that infinite energy of love is not violent because its, it doesn’t need violence because it’s everything. So, it’s a really wonderful Indian vision, and it’s general, both sides, all sides in India, Jain, Buddhists, Hindu. Vajra.

    KD: Yeah.

    Bob: So, you’re Vajra Rang Bali.

    KD: Bajarang Bali

    Bob Thurman: You had arguments with him (Maharajji) about your name? You talked back sometimes to your guru?

    “When He first named me Krishna Das? I said, “Krishna Das”? Give me a break. Krishna Das? We’re Ram guys, I’m a Hanuman guy. What is this Krishna stuff? He just laughed. He said, “It’s ok. Hanuman served Krishna, too.”” – Krishna Das

    Bob: You had the arguments with him about your name.

    KD: Hm?

    Bob: You had arguments with him about your name?

    KD: Yeah, well, you know…

    Bob: You talked back sometimes to your guru

    KD: You know, playfully.

    Bob: Playfully.

    KD: Like, when He first named me Krishna Das? I said, “Krishna Das”? Give me a break. Krishna Das? We’re Ram guys, I’m a Hanuman guy. What is this Krishna stuff? He just laughed. He said, “It’s ok. Hanuman served Krishna, too.” And, in fact, it’s true. In the Mahabharata, the great battle between good and evil, when Krishna is not fighting, but He’s driving the chariot of Arjuna, the great warrior. Through the whole battle, you know, in those days, they fought with missiles, atomic weapons that they activated with the power of their mind and mantra. It wasn’t like a little arrow like Robin Hood. They shot missiles. Huge missiles at each other. And the most powerful missiles were the ones that were invoked with the most consciousness, the most attention, the most concentration. Those were the most powerful missiles. So, all through the war, all the other warriors keep getting new chariots because they’re getting blown up all the time. So, now the war’s over, the good guys have won, and Arjuna asks Krishna to drive him up on this hill and look out at the whole battlefield. So, they get up on the hill and Krishna says, “Ok, today is different than other days.” Just like, why is this night different than other nights. So, usually I get down first as your charioteer and I help you off the chariot, but today, you get off first and you run as fast as you can away from here. So, Arjun gets down and he runs away.

    Krishna steps off the chariot, and then there was a white flag on top of the chariot with a red monkey in the flag, and the minute Krishna got off the chariot, the monkey flew out of the flag and disappeared in the sky and the chariot blew up in a million pieces. And Krishna says to Arjun, “Didn’t it occur to you that you didn’t have to change your chariot?” He said, “Hanuman was guarding the chariot and absorbing all the missiles.” So, there you go. Yeah.

    Bob: In a way, the Tibetan Rinpoche, one Tara Tulku, His name was, He has a reincarnation who has a midlife crisis right now, but the older one, previous one, passed away in the 80s. He actually said that the hydrogen bomb, atomic bomb now is activated by the mind, by the mind of hatred. And that the trigger of it is not just the plutonium, you know, the thing, it’s another kind of bomb that kind of ignites the chain reaction. It’s the intelligence mobilized by hatred. So, the real trigger is the hatred in the mind of the person who pulled the trigger, you know? And in a way, the creating of it, the creation of it was out of hatred against its enemy. So, it still is actually activated by mind, and mantra now is the e=mc2 formula. That’s that mantra. Which is a kind of mantra, you know. Unfortunate thing. But in a way, in a way, maybe it’s like Baba Ram Das thinking of His stroke as something good, in a way, the human intelligence sort of generally, not just some semi-deities in the ancient past, but generally realizing the power of intelligence can destroy everything, you know, I kind of think of 1945, you know, the Hiroshima and Nagasaki, as atrocious as they were, you know, especially civilian bombing I think is terrorism, its really a bad thing, personally. That’s my personal view. But even though government does it, it’s not really a righteous thing. But I’m saying the fact that this became known in the world, that you know, where people used to feel that “my body is a really solid thing,” you know. And then there’s some atoms in there that are like hard little like, billiard balls, and you know, like, “I’m made of those things” in their mind, you know and until, of course, I die, but then, you know, you see materialists feel like that. But the idea that one’s own atoms have an energy to pulverize you instantaneously when triggered in a chain reaction. So, this is kind of a deep subliminal teaching of impermanence, of transformation, of instability that therefore, in a way, it’s a spiritual teaching and also it has war basically impossible.

    KD: Impossible to survive.

    Bob: They act like it is possible and they have their little ones. But once war can not escalate, you know, it has to divert into facebook. You’re not really able to have real war, you know? It’s impossible.

    KD: Right. Yeah.

    Bob: And my son is a little bit of a radical, and he’s been saying for years, people just push him up and tell him to run away, but he’s saying like, everybody should have a nuke. He goes around saying that. Everyone should have a nuke. Like, what’s this, U.S. and Russia and China have nukes? Let everybody have a nuke, then nobody will be able to mess around and kill each other. They could all sit there and clutch their nukes. So that weird guy with the hairdo, the other other hairdo. There’s two of them, it’s really funny. The two hairdos. You know? One of them looks a little bit like, in the cartoons they make it look like a mushroom cloud and the other one looks like, the other one looks like some kind of like weird flame thing, flame thrower.

    KD: Flame thrower, yeah.

    Bob: Really. And they’re both like disgustingly overweight and they’re both completely, really we have to send them love, you know. No, we do.

    KD: Definitely. We must. Absolutely.

    Bob: In the form of an appeal to resign. But that’s love. That is love. Just, you know, let them both move in together and let them be housemates at Mar a Lago.

    KD: Yeah, yeah, that would be great, yeah.

    Bob: I’m sorry. That’s off-topic. No, that’s off-topic.

    The post Ep. 47 | Hindu-Buddhist Connections and A Short Discussion of Hatred appeared first on Krishna Das.


    Special Edition Conversations With KD April 25, 2020 Aug 03, 2021
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    Call and Response Special Edition – Conversations With KD April 25, 2020 Taking time to look back and move forward. Conversations With KD episodes are derived from the recordings of KD’s online events from his home during the 2020/ 2021 days of social distancing and quarantine from the onset of COVID and beyond. “You know, there were people, there were gurus in India, Beings in India that other Westerners went to. They would bounce up and down off the pillows, they would howl like dogs. They would be in bliss and fall over like this. I sat around with mom Maharajji for two and a half years. Not one fucking thing happened. Except love. Except love that was so deep and so beautiful and so unbearable, so wonderful that I couldn’t pull myself away from that person. Nor did I want to, except when I got pissed off. So, the whole thing is learning to trust yourself. Take your time. There’s no hurry. You’re not going anywhere. You’re just trying to get here, where you are already. Relax. Let it come to you. Be yourself. Be you. Follow your heart. Trust your heart. Trust yourself. Trust your deeper feelings. But in order to trust them, you have to listen deeply to yourself and then you have to pay attention. You have to honor how you feel. If you don’t honor those deeper feelings, you’re not doing the right thing to yourself, but most people don’t. Okay? But the spiritual path means really following your heart, following your deepest heart. What do you want? What do you really want? Don’t get caught. Don’t spend time getting things that you don’t really need. You might enjoy a little bit, but go after what you really want, which is the same thing everybody wants, which is love. And if you’re not getting what you want from one situation, recognize that that’s the case. That doesn’t mean you have to change anything, but you have to pay attention.” – Krishna Das So, here we are, everybody here is still here, which is good. Somebody just wrote from Gangotri? It can’t be. It must be a name of somebody. There’s no wireless up in Gangotri. can go to in India is the source of the Ganges. The Ganga. I don’t think there’s any internet up there. Q: Okay. I have a little, I wrote it down so I could, yeah. I wrote down my question or just my thought. So, I guess when all this started, I started making choices in my life that felt more safe and secure. I was always doing service work and I needed to quit that I needed to just do service work around here instead, kind of redefining what my thought was on, on service. Because also, I had all these outer things going on with the world, and also personal things in my life that felt really out of control. So, I wanted to find a little bit of control and I’ve been trying to find that, but there are days where I feel so overwhelmed by guilt or overwhelmed by sadness or overwhelmed by anger. And I know I should be practicing to kind of get out of my own way, but sometimes. That wave feels so strong. It feels like I’m drowning, and it feels so heavy that it’s kind of like, I know what to do to get myself out of it, but going, getting out of that heaviness is, is so incredibly hard for me. So, I was wondering what your thoughts would be around that. Some, some insight? I can give you thoughts. I don’t know about insight. Well, first of all, you’re a human being, I think. So, especially at this time on the planet, it’s a very rough time. No question about it. And not only do we have our own stuff to deal with, but the atmosphere is full of it. Every time we turn on the television or read the newspaper or talk to friends, we’re coming, all that anxiety and fear is coming right into our face, right into us. And it’s floating around all the time. So, it’s, it’s actually the, the atmosphere we live in is very charged right now in a very, a way that disturbs the mind, disturbs our, our sense of okay-ness. You said you think you should be doing practices to work with that, but you know, that’s that’s just another story you’re telling yourself. No matter how bad the situation is that, or how uncomfortable you’re feeling, you’re still here. And, but you have a fear that you won’t be here. That something will get too strong, too big. That’s not going to happen. Because if you’re not here, neither is anything else. So, start from there, that’s ground level, zero feet altitude. So, the idea that, you know, but we have our, our knee jerk reactions to things in the way we’ve been programmed in our lives to deal with this stuff. A lot of it comes from the way we saw our parents deal with their stuff, our schoolmates, our teachers, the culture that we grew up in. You know, we’ve got a lot of programming going on, no question about it. And then we have our individual karmas, which brought us right to this place, with everything in our lives as part of that. So, a lot of the meditation teachers talk about making friends with your negative stuff, you know, like, “Oh, hi, You’re back. Well, have a seat. You mind sitting over in the corner so I can finish my work? Oh no? You want to sit into my lap? All right.” You know, that’s you know, there’s so many techniques that you can use to recognize that you are not what you’re feeling. See, you’re not what you’re feeling, but you don’t like it. So, you want to push it away. Unfortunately, that can’t work for more than a few lifetimes, you know? Yeah. Then it comes back. So, the trick is to try not to push it away, try to be with it, allow yourself to feel all those feelings there. They’re very unpleasant and can be very painful and they can have a lot of charge to them, a lot of negativity, a lot of heaviness, and they can push all the buttons on all our, our self-hatred and self-loathing and guilt and shame and fear and all that stuff, you know? But what are we going to do? You know… nor will it work to do a practice like this and, and you know, “All right, I’m going to push it. I’m not going to feel this stuff. I’m not going to feel this stuff. I’m not going to feel this stuff.” That’s not gonna work either. So. Really, what, what are we scared of? We just don’t like it. We don’t like feeling that way. We want to feel good. Actually, who we are is perfectly fine. Not who we think we are, not who our emotional stories tell us we are, but who we really are when all that stuff, you know, drips off of us and, you know, fades away, or the clouds move on to something else. We’re actually perfectly fine as who we really are already always, and always will be All the other stuff gets caught, gets clouded over with. Yeah. It’s like living in a, in a, in a fog and the fog turns different colors according to, you know, it feels like this, it feels like that, you know. So don’t panic, you know, don’t panic. And if you panic, say, “Hello, panic.” You’re always here. You can always be with it in a different way. You can always recognize that… you know, when I was going to kill myself, because I was how you were feeling, you know, on steroids, you know, and I was gonna kill myself. I was gonna jump in the river in Kainchi while I was with my guru, you know, in the temple. So, he looked at me and said, “what are you going to do? Jump in the river? Ha ha. You can’t die.” He said, “Worldly people don’t die. Only Jesus died the real death.” Why? Because he never thought of himself. What do we do All lifelong is nothing but think about ourselves? “How am I now? I don’t like this. I like this. I don’t like this. I don’t like this more than I don’t like that. I like this more than I like that. That’s good.” It’s all how we spend our whole lives lost in that, that self-referencing kind of small “S” self-referencing thoughts. “Okay. Hi, self-referencing thought, how are you doing? What’s up? Oh, you’re making me feel like shit. Ah, that’s so nice of you. Thank you.” Yeah. And we take it so seriously too. I mean, that’s the other quality of those emotions, you know, it’s not, it’s not that we take it seriously. It’s that the emotion itself, when we’re in, it makes it feel serious. Like, they say they say eternal damnation is eternal when you’re in it. But ss soon as the karmas that brought you into that state of mind, dissipate, it ain’t there anymore. So, it’s not eternal, but the quality of the state is eternal. When you feel like shit, you’re always going to feel like this, this is who you really are. You’ve managed to escape it once in a while to one thing or another, but it always comes back. “This is me. I’ll always be like this.” And we believe that. We, we trained ourselves very well to believe that. We should get some credit for that. You know, we’ve done such a good job on ourselves. So, you should open a little school, “How to make people feel like shit.” Make a lot of money and you’ll be really helping a lot of people fulfill their real feelings about themselves. And then when everybody feels like shit, then you close the school down and leave everybody with it and then run away with all the money. Okay. Or, have everybody teach everybody how to do it and then say, “do you see what happened here? You see how I in reinforced all your negative thoughts about yourself now, guess what? I was faking it, it isn’t real. Let go of it.” Because it isn’t, but it feels that way. We’ve been born into this world. What else do we expect to know? We weren’t born in a cave in the Himalayas. We weren’t born to a family of yogis. We weren’t, we didn’t grow up with Saints and Siddhas and the deities. We grew up with fucking Mickey Mouse. You know, it’s a long way from Mickey Mouse to Ram, a long way. But Ram is who we really are. That presence, that divine presence is who we really are. So regardless of what we’re feeling or how horrible we’re feeling, or even how wonderful we’re feeling, we can, we’re always present there at the same time. We’re always present. There’s no, there’s no second, ever, will there ever be when we won’t be here. So, and suicide doesn’t end it either. That’s what they say. I haven’t, I haven’t died. So, I can’t tell you from my own experience this life, but what they say is that, you know, what you take with you when you leave your body is your state of mind only. So yeah, you have time, you have space and, and there are even practices where you feed your demons. These are your demons. You could call them demons. These are your negative, your negative stuff. There’s even practices where you, you say, “okay, come on here, eat a little bit here. My arm, take my arm. And the bicep probably is good. Here, bite.” And because you recognize that no matter what, you’re, there always. They can’t eat you. They can only nibble on some stuff and actually, they’re the stuff. So, the point is, as I said before, calm your ass down. That’s all you have to do. There’s nothing more you have to do. Just keep letting go. Let the clouds come over. You let the rain fall on you. Let the shit, let your feet step into the shit. You’re still here. It can’t hurt you. It only feels bad, but it can’t do anything to who you really are. Not in the wildest dream could it ever do that. But we can experience very unhappy, very unpleasant states of mind that we want to get away from. So, what’s the best way to get away from them? It’s not trying to get away. No, because eventually you, you recognize that everything that’s, that’s here right now in your life, including all this unpleasant stuff is a result of our own past karmas. It’s a result of all our own experiences with other people, with ourselves, with you know, with the environment, with your car, with your kids, with everything, all of that’s a result of everything that happened up to right now. How are we going to meet it right now? If we blindly react and with our knee jerk reactions and our, you know, automatic responses, we’re simply giving it more energy and creating it again in the next moment. So, to whatever degree we can observe and make a move to just calm down in the midst of it all, that allows it to move through without creating more and it allows us it’s releasing process. You can always let go. You can, and it’s very easy. It, it may not last more than a millisecond, but that’s practice. You keep letting go again and again and again. And then when the, the shit doesn’t go in it and so “fuck off, I’m finished with this. I’m going to watch the TV, then you get back to it later.” So, if you really look also, you’ll see that these states, they’re not always there. They’re there when you… they’re there for awhile. And then you say, Oh, I’m going to go make a sandwich. And you forget about the state. Where’d it go? And then you finished your sandwich and it’s back. So, if you, if you really pay attention, you’ll see it. They’re not always there. They come and go. Everything’s changing all the time, but they keep coming back because we’re used to it. It’s like home base for us, really, for our, our emotional reality. You know, so try not to think of practice as a, as a willful fighting against this stuff. Okay? Try to think of practice as, allowing it to just flow through you, flow in and out of you without grabbing onto it. Grabbing onto it means reacting. Okay. You reacted. Okay. And then you get back into it. Okay. Short periods of practice, really. Five minutes where you turn the phone off and you say, “this is for five minutes. I’m just going to sit here and I am not gonna try anything.” When you catch yourself trying, let go. Trying is just more bullshit. That’s more “I should, I have to.” You don’t have to. You don’t have to do anything. Just relax through it and things will change and you won’t be so affected by it all the time. And as practice ripens us, we don’t, we naturally, we don’t react so strongly. Like somebody gets mad at you. And instead of like, you just kinda go like, “What?” you know? “what is that?” And you just like, look at it and it doesn’t eat you alive immediately. Later on, when you go back to your room and you realize what that son of a bitch said, then it eats you, but then you let go. So it’s just life, sweetheart, you know, get used to it. You know? There’s nowhere to go. You can’t go anywhere even if you wanted to. There’s nowhere to go. So… Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Take good care. Keep breathing. That’s the main thing. Q: Good morning, KD. I’ve got a couple of fairly quick questions, at least I think so. What mantras did you sing while you were with Maharajji in form, besides the Chalisa and Hare Krishna? “Don’t send me away. Don’t send me away. Don’t send me away. Don’t send me away. Don’t send me away. Don’t send me away. Don’t send me away.” That was the main mantra. Okay. Okay. Question two is, I watch your Thursday satangs. Extravaganza. And they’re wonderful. And I am so grateful for that. Thank you. But I’m learning to play the harmonium and I wonder why you cover the holes on the top of the harmonium. It’s just for the sound now. Yeah, the harmonium so loud that because of the way we’re transmitting the sound to the internet. If I didn’t cover that up, all you’d hear is the harmonium. That’s all, it’s not, it’s not a secret. It’s not like, you know, the secret teaching or anything, you know, and if it was, I wouldn’t tell you. Okay. And this is the third. Now, this is one might be a little longer. I love singing the Chalisa and I love your version of the transliteration and I wonder how you and other folks were able to do that in India. You know? Where everybody speaks Hindi and back in those days, there weren’t a lot of English speakers. Yeah. There were a lot of, there were a lot of, a lot of them. Remember the English owned India for a long time. So English was, is like the second language of most of India. Mostly in the North, they speak a lot of English, many people speak a lot of English, enough English, of course. Many people don’t, but we learned Hindi. We learned the Hindi alphabet. We learned the letters. We went through the Chalisa…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Ep. 46 | The Meaning of Ram Jul 27, 2021
    Show notes

    Call and Response Ep. 46 | The Meaning of Ram “When you shape divinity, your notion of the Divinity, by saying ‘Ram Ram Ram’ and use the Name for ‘joy’ and ‘enjoyment’, ‘Ramaniya’, ‘to be enjoyed in that form’, you know, it’s a gerundial thing, ‘to be enjoyed,’ ‘Ramaniya’ means. And then, you are saying that, this great power that I want to merge myself with out of my devotion, I want to connect to out of my devotion and I want to feel the presence in me of that, then that is enjoyment.” – Robert Thurman KD: When we were singing just before, it occurred to me to ask you, so this chanting of the Tara Mantra is, in India, they call this Nama Japa, the repetition of the Names. Bob: Sure. KD: So, Maharajji used to say, “Ram nam karne se sab pura ho jata.” Bob: Ram? KD: Ram Nam Karne Se Sab Pura Ho Jata. From the repetition of these Names, everything is accomplished. Everything is brought to fulfillment and completion. Bob: Why not? KD: Well, I would like you to tell them why. Bob: Well, I said that in the meditation. KD: Yeah. Bob: So, Ram, I mean if you think about Ram… KD: Just, all the Names, any of the Names. He just meant the Names of God. Bob: Yeah, but I thought it was especially Rama, though. He said, you can get everywhere just saying the Name “Rama”. KD: Yeah. Bob: Ok? So, Ram is a way of expressing divinity. Now a lot of, a number of Hindu theologians today might still go for a Maha Ishwara idea. Which means to say, a creator deity who created everything. But not really. It’s not really at home in India, that idea. Like that Abrahamic type of idea. In other words, that there’s one guy that everything can be blamed on. All the “ness”. It’s not really a comfortable Indian idea, because like the, you know, ok, the Shaivites… I don’t think the Shaivites ever had a war against the Vaishnavites. They had wars against, actually in South India, Shaivites had wars against the Jains and the Jains fought back. I was surprised. They’re big non-violence people. They had bad wars between Jains and Shaivites. They never had a war against Buddhists in ancient times. Now the Tamil, they pretend that it’s a Buddhist and Hindu in the Tamil, in Sri Lanka, but it isn’t really Buddhist. It’s fake Buddhist and it’s stupid terrorist Hindus. It isn’t really Buddhist and Hindu. And many many Hindu kings… I was just in Sri Lanka and I was looking at the history and many Hindu kings from Tamil Nadu and other places came and then they ruled the Buddhists there without suppressing Buddhism. And the Buddhist kings were there and they never tried to suppress Hinduism particularly, but now and then they would have, they would… and the religion would be an excuse. So, I’m saying that India has a very strong idea of Divinity and so does Buddhism. You know, when Buddha was born in the Buddha myth, the two people who gave Him his first bath were Brahma and Indra. You know, Brahma was the Brahminical Deity and Indra was the Vedic Maha Deity, you know the king of the Gods in the Vedic idea, like Zeus. Indra was like Odin, actually, connects to Odin and Zeus and Brahma was like a, kind of a little bit monotheistic type, but really based, having to do with the Vedic ritual. Brahma. And Brahma means the sound of language and all this. There’s a whole story about Brahma. But not really a creator so strongly. And the idea that one Being created everything and is in control of it all is pretty much not the best flavor in India, actually. It’s not the normal flavor. So, the reason I’m saying that is, and I will talk more about that, some Buddhist sutra where Brahma meets Buddha, where they talk together. But, so Buddhists never, Buddhists are not atheists at all, but they just don’t think there’s one creator. That’s the main point. And I think that they don’t really, when they switch back and forth, you know, He, Brahma the Creator, the Destroyer and the Preserver, right? Vishnu the preserver, Shiva the Destroyer, Brahma the creator, but then they all kind of intermingle and then they all tumble into each other. KD: Yeah, and then there’s the Maha, there’s the Great One. Bob: And they avoid, the developed the kind of ancient religious pluralism by saying, “Well, the one I like emanates as the One you like.” And then, “You think the One that You like emanates as the One that I like.” And the Buddhists and the Hindus did that sort of thing in the ancient time. So, what I’m saying, Rama therefore is a version of Divinity, His Name means “to play” and “to enjoy”. “Rati” means “delight” and it can mean “sexual delight”, as well as, you know, eating food. “Bhoga”… some Bhoga can mean “orgasm.” “Bhoga” can mean “eating food”. Some Bhoga means “orgasm”. So, the Indians were not anti-pleasure like a few other people we know about in history. They were not. And even though they had tremendous asceticism and they had monkey monks and monk monkeys and monk people but they were not anti-pleasure, really. And so “Brahma” means that the most powerful thing in the world is joyful, wants to play. Ravana, in the Ramayana for example, interrupts that by running away with Sita, which is His fault because joy is, of the male, is the female, you know, like the female and the male. That’s also ancient an thing, you know? Most of the Hindu deities have a Mrs. Rama and Mrs. Vishnu a Mrs. Shiva, they do. They don’t have the poor Yahweh. Where’s Mrs. Yahweh? She’s just a ghost. She’s a Holy Ghost. Shekhina. Where’s she? She’s a ghost. Well, you can’t have that much fun with a ghost. And it sucks. So, naturally He gets grumpy. He’s sees people having fun and, in Sodom and Gamorrah, and blasts them. “If I can’t have fun, they’re not going to have fun.” You know? So, India was never like that. So, “Rama” means “joyfulness,” “graciousness” and then there’s this little interruption and Ravana’s like, destroying it, and He conquers that and then He’s back together with Sita, you know? That’s the whole theme of that, you know? But the divinity, that the Divine wants to come through you. Even this thing, Krishna, that Krishna and listen, they had color problems in India. Don’t believe some Brahmin who tells you, “Oh, no, we didn’t have that. No way. We don’t… all you and the slaves and the racism in America.” They have the caste system. KD: They do. Bob: Totally white and dark. Malcolm X read about white virtue and dark sin. He would know that there’s already a color thing from ancient time in Sanskrit. Definitely. And yet, Krishna is the dark God and He loves you and then your soul is a gopi loving Him, I mean, that’s like, that’s pretty intense. That is intense. And the Indian achievement of taking in the whole Krishna thing, Krishna-Radha thing, once they passed Rama and Sita, actually, and Krishna-Radha and this sort of erotic, the unification of the erotic with the sublime spiritual, so bringing all the fully erotic energy into the spiritual. Instead of like, “Oh, the spiritual is not erotic. Oh no no that’s the dirty stuff. Dirty. Dirty. Ooh.” No way. India achieved that. Where the eros and agape where the eros and agape sit together, actually. The proper eros, proper eros is opening to the Beloved. Some pathetic one is grabbing and using the Beloved. That’s pathetic eros. That’s some kind of European pathetic armored sex, you know? Like Wilhelm Reich freaks about it, he doesn’t like it. But India, they saw through that, you know? And so, Jai Rama or Jai Sita, but I like “Jai Sita”. I like “Jai Radha” you know? I’m a recovering chauvinist wasp, you know, and I really, you know, the female element, is, now is the time to arise and put a stop to this nonsense. We were cheated out of our mom president. Totally cheated. She did win the election 100%. She’s like Al Gore. She’s president in exile. In Westchester. But you know, that can be exile. But you know, it doesn’t matter even, gender, who does next, but we’re going to get back there. So, I’m just saying that that Rama thing, so everything is there. Now, one thing I have to say about the Name, you see, the Jewish tradition has a very brilliant thing that I like where the Name of God, because they were semi-nomadic and nomads have a better, they get less stuck on hierarchies than urban people, and they had this great thing where YHWH, you can’t pronounce it. There’s no vowel. This is something you never even know in English. We don’t know that. Without a vowel, consonant has no sound. Did you know that? KD: yeah. Bob: I only discovered that when I discovered Sanskrit. I went to all good schools. And in Grammar, nobody ever mentioned that. KD: It was obvious. Bob: Seriously. We have, no, you try to say a mantra without a vowel. KD: No, you can’t. But in Sanskrit, everything consonant has a sound. Bob: What? KD: In Sanskrit, every consonant has a sound. Bob: No, but that’s a vowel. “ah” is a vowel. “Ah” is the primal vowel. Brahm-ah. KD: All right. Bob: “ah” is the creation. KD: Ok, go ahead. You were saying. Bob: So, that, you know the, in the Indian cosmology in the time of Pralaya, when the universe is in a state of, there’s multiverses, actually, when a local universe within a multiverse is in a state of dissolution, when there’s no sort of Earth and whatever, at that time, they don’t have an idea that’s there’s energies or atoms or quarks or something lying around. They don’t have that idea. They have an idea that there are consonants hanging around and the vowels have taken a break. And the consonants are lying around soundlessly and then when “ah” comes, the “ah” comes and picks them up and then articulates the mantras that then create all objects and the planets. That’s Indian. So India really had the thing about words create everything. So that’s the thing about the Name. But I just wanted to praise the Jewish thing because, then some of the more mystical Jewish writers, in English, they go G-D. They don’t put an “o” in there. So, you can’t really pronounce that. And that’s a very good vision because, also, when human beings say a Name of something, they think they’ve controlled it. KD: And they think they know it. Bob: So they think that’s a way of acting arrogant about it. KD: And they think they know it. Bob: “God told me to do this or that” or something, you know. So, then that sort of, that’s a way of sort of absolutizing and acting like they are the mouthpiece of God. So, when you can’t say that Name, it means you acknowledge that the universe is not something you can control, the power of the universe. So, that’s kind of very cool. On the other hand, even in that, you can shape different with sound and language, so when you shape divinity, your notion of the Divinity, by saying “Ram Ram Ram” and use the Name for “joy” and “enjoyment”, “Ramaniya”, “to be enjoyed in that form”, you know, it’s a gerundial thing, “to be enjoyed,” “Ramaniya” means. And then, you are saying that, this great power that I want to merge myself with out of my devotion, I want to connect to out of my devotion and I want to feel the presence in me of that, then that is enjoyment. You’re not saying, you’re not saying, you know, “Jai Dukha (suffering)”. You know? “Dukha Dukha Jai Dukha, Om Jai Dukha Dukha” you don’t sing that. You’re thinking “Jai Krishna,” “Jai Rama” and “Jai Krishna” is like, “Krishna” means “black.” Right? KD: Dark like a cloud. Ram was also dark. Bob: So this would be like, “Jai Krishna” is like somebody, like the guy in “Black Klansman” thinking He was talking to a white guy. “Oh yeah, I know when I’m talking to a white guy.” “Oh really? Is that right?” And a black guy’s talking there. You know? That was so cool. Or it was like the kind of joy that Chris Rock emanated one day. I happened to be at a dinner where he was present and he just couldn’t restrain himself. He’d just seen Black Panther and he said, “They used to say that black movies couldn’t really make money. I was just at a movie and the hero was black and everyone was black and the director was black and the cinematographer was black and everyone was black and in one weekend we made a billion dollars. And all you had to at that time in New York, you’d go around and you’d fist bump anybody. The guy in the street, you’d fist-bump him and mention Black Panther and it felt good.” And they knew that they would. They did. So in India, by loving Krishna, India is transcending where they had a light and dark in their uncaste, outcaste people were the dark ones, and somehow over centuries, that’s the love of God coming there with Radha and Him and the Gopis and the whole thing. That’s beautiful. That’s a huge, huge cultural achievement which we need, we need now. We can do it faster. Just go watch Black Panther 50 times. Anyway never mind. It’s ok. KD: No mind. Bob: Or blue people. You know we love blue people. Blue-black they associated the blue-black Krishna with the thunder cloud of the monsoon, you know. The color of the monsoon thunder cloud. KD: Yeah. Dark cloud. Very dark. Bob: You know, and avatar is a blue hero, you know. The Indians, an avatar Blue and they were nice. Did you notice that? When they won, they were nice? They didn’t kill those people. In the war, the casualties happened, but once they, they sent them home. They sent the little corporate guy home. KD: Ok. Bob: Ok. Why are they laughing? KD: I don’t know. Bob: Are they laughing? That’s the whole point. “Jai Rama” means “cheer up.” KD: I think because they just went on a long trip and found themselves back just where they were. That’s why. Bob: It means, “cheer up.” Cheer up. It means, “cheer up.” Instead of committing suicide. KD: I can’t be miserable around Bob. Bob: Bajarang Bali. Bajarang Bali. Cheer up. Look how cheery he is! He’s super cheery! That’s India. It is. KD: It is. It’s Indian. There is No Nothing Bob: What time is it? KD: Time to go to sleep. Bob: Yeah, I think so. KD: Yeah. Ok. Bob: There is a special sleep yoga I want to share with you. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. KD: There is. Yeah. We’ll do that tomorrow for three hours in the morning. Bob: I want to say something. I have one more thing, one more small thing. We do have a few minutes according to the schedule and this is that. When you fall asleep tonight, you, as you’re muttering “Ram Jai Ram, Rama Rama Jai Krishna, Hare Krishna Hare Hare” then when you do that, as you fall asleep, right, your lights are out and you close your eyes and hopefully, you know, this, your roommate isn’t noisy if you have one. This and that. In my case, it’s easy, I just turn off my hearing aids. And, but you don’t think that even though your last moment of consciousness is slipping into a darkness, you don’t think that that’s where you spend the night because the clear light of the void, the bliss energy of the universe, of Ram and everybody is transparent. It’s not a bright light, and it’s not a darkness, it’s a gray light. But it’s like an infinite energy of transparency. And the reason I say that, is that we are all educated to think that, at the bottom of the universe is nothingness and that when we die, we’ll be nothing. And even if we believe in reincarnation, or even if we’ve done Hinduism or Buddhism, we have a subliminal feeling that this is the only life, because we’re educated like that. We hear it from all the supposed authorities, not in churches but in science classes, and you know, they write popular books, you know, Steven Pinker and people that you know, that they assure us that that form, that future life stuff that some weirdos in California, you know, telling your fortune, you’re going to be reborn as Cleopatra or something, I mean, really, they make it sound ridiculous. Whereas, actually, it’s obvious that we’re, nobody gets to die and stay dead because there’s no nothing. We all know for sure, there is no such thing as nothing. Is anybody unsure about that? They think nothing is something? Well, the scientists do, and they assure us that nothing is something and not only is it something, it’s some place, and it…

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    Special Edition Conversations With KD April 23, 2020 Jul 20, 2021
    Show notes

    Call and Response Special Edition – Conversations With KD April 23, 2020 Taking time to look back and move forward. Conversations With KD episodes are derived from the recordings of KD’s online events from his home during the 2020/ 2021 days of social distancing and quarantine from the onset of COVID and beyond. Q: Please put some light on how to overpower negative thoughts and anxiety, especially during meditation. “If you’re meditating, you’re not supposed to be trying to overpower anything. You notice what’s going on and you come back to your mantra or your focus of attention. Where does it say you’re supposed to fight with your thoughts? That’s a misconception. That’s a struggle. Meditation is not a struggle. You just keep coming back again and again, again and again. And you’re training yourself to release those thoughts once you notice.” – Krishna Das So, that was a half an hour, a half an hour that we didn’t spend as the target of our own obsessive thinking, of our own negative emotions, of our fears, our anxieties, and in the situation that we’re in now, that stuff is bouncing off the walls all day long. So, when we add a practice to our lives, it gives us something to focus on and without recognizing it even, we’ve released so much of those clouds of stuff that are surrounding us in our day. It’s not necessary to try to manipulate yourself, to have one particular type of experience while you’re chanting. The main idea is to remember to pay attention, to listen, to hear, to allow the chant to flow over you and to allow yourself to flow into it. This is not a philosophical situation. We don’t have to learn about the name. We don’t have to know all the incredible things that they say about the name, that yogis and saints have been talking about for thousands of years. Not necessary. What’s necessary is to repeat it, to remember, to bring the name to mind, to use the breath, to sing it, to use the breath to say it, to use the awareness to pay attention. Add that to our lives. That’s what we need to do. And it becomes so obvious in this kind of a situation. This is forced retreat for us. So, we’re faced with all our stuff. So, the need to do practice becomes very strong. So, take this time to cultivate this practice. Do it, do it a few times a day, just for five minutes or whatever, 10 minutes, whatever. Keep coming back to it during the day. When you notice the chat going on in your head, spend a minute with it. They say that there’s a place within us that these names are always being repeated, are always flowing. And the more you pay attention to the chant and the name, the more you hear that in your mind as the day goes on. You’ll be busy doing something and all of a sudden, there it is. You might actually just notice it, and not even notice that you notice it and then you’re busy with something else. It’s very… the reason it’s such a subtle practice, because even though we think we are doing this, you and me, we think we’re sitting down to sing or do Japa or mantra meditation. We think that we’re doing that, but in reality, it’s the name that’s repeating us. The name goes on repeating us from the inside, moving out, outward, outward, and purifying our hearts as it moves through us. So, at least that’s what they say. Q: Are there any religions that teach God is one with you with one or do they all teach God is separate and above? No, none of the Eastern, so-called Eastern religions teach the God is separate and above us. They, there are some, some religious philosophies that, even in India, that say that you don’t want to merge with God. You want to stay separate to enjoy the bliss of union. If you merge, they say, then you, you don’t have that. But I don’t know if that’s true. So, no, it’s just the opposite, actually. Western religions usually say that because Western religions, Western culture is based on the ego, on the belief that each one of us is a separate being from all other beings. Our selves are separate. And the Eastern religions, so-called mystical religions teach that yes, on one level, it appears that we’re separate, but when you see reality, you recognize, as my guru used to say, “Sab Ek.” All one, all, one. Many names, many forms, all one. So, yeah. And mystical Christianity also goes in that direction too. All the so-called mystical aspects of religion talk about merging with God, which is the indwelling presence. Antarayaami, the indwelling presence. It isn’t out there. What’s out there? There’s nothing out there. It looks like there is. That’s what they call illusion. The mind, the awareness, lights up stuff. Without the awareness, no stuff. And the karmas of each one of us is what creates all the stuff that we see when our awareness lights it up. Like the sun lights up the trees in the morning as it rises. So, it’s the indwelling presence, which has manifested everywhere because it is everywhere. Q: I can sing mantra along with me much easier than I can sing it on my own, repeating after you. Can you talk about that? Me too. I can sing mantra along with me better than I can when I’m singing it by myself. These are just the habits of mind, the habits of thought, the vasanas, the tendencies of the mind to be caught up with the habitual way of, of living and of seeing things. And it’s tamas. It’s tamasya. And it means, it means the inertia. To really turn within, you have to kind of, you automatically, you’re letting go of stuff. And there’s an inertia involved with that. So, when you, when you sit, do the practice, but don’t feel that you have to push all those thoughts away. Even the thought that, “Oh, this is hard you know, by singing by myself like this it’s hard.” Is that a thought or a feeling, or is it? Yes. Let it go and come back. You’re getting stuck there thinking that that’s important. And even though it might seem to be the way it is in the moment, if you let go of it, where was it? It’s gone. So, but that comes from our thinking that we have to feel a particular way, that we’re doing this practice and it’s like pushing a bliss button. And if we don’t get the bliss, if we’re not finding the button, we’re doing it wrong. That’s not the case. You can’t do it wrong. Just the doing it is such a big thing. Just be aware of all your stuff. Don’t try. Do the practice, live your life. Do the practice. Live your life. Don’t judge yourself. That’s the program that’s running. You’re judging. You’re evaluating. With no judging, no evaluating, what’s the problem? You won’t find a problem. So, you’re getting caught in, in identifying with those programs that are running. Let them go again, a million times a second. Just keep letting them go. It doesn’t matter. Letting go is what matters, not what you think about it, not how you evaluate it. Q: When you first started chanting, were you particularly attracted to particular deities or chants? Did they affect you differently? Has this changed as your practice matured? Thanks for thinking my practice matured. Who knows? I was first, one of the first beings that I was very attracted to was Kali, Ma Kali, after I read Sri Rama Krishna’s Gospel of Ramakrishna. He used to sing the Kali and it was amazing. So, I was very attracted to that whole feeling, that whole being able to sing, to chant and feel love and all that. So, one time I was sitting with Maharajji, I think it was just me and him. And I had been practicing this bhajan, this Mira bhajan, this song by Mirabai, this famous, devotee of Krishna, a mystic devotee. So, I started to sing it for him and my tears were coming down my cheeks and I was singing it to him and I finished and I opened my eyes. I looked at him and he goes, “Why are you crying?” And I went, Oh, I’m crying because I always wanted to be somebody who sang and cried tears of love. And there I was, I finally did it. Next. Q: How can we get our egos on board with surrender so they remain loyal servants? Or is the ego inherently fearful and deceptive? I don’t know how to detach from my ego without cutting it off. You can’t cut it off. You can’t detach from it. It’ll never serve your soul because it’s not supposed to. It’s not even real. It’s only a collection of thoughts that we identify with. There is no such thing as ego. There’s something we call ego, but it actually doesn’t exist. Sri Ramana Maharshi, one of the great saints of the last generation, He said, “Asking the mind to kill the mind or the ego to kill the ego is like asking the policemen, the thief to be the policeman.” He said, “There’ll be a lot of investigation, but no arrest will ever be made.” So do your practice. Don’t think about it so much. It’s all ego down here. It’s all ego. We’re all on this shore. The other shore is enlightenment. First, we have to get to the boat. So, don’t, don’t, don’t worry about it. It’s not that big a deal. Everything is ego here, everything. Everything we do in our lives, almost everything has some motivation. It’s either based on greed or fear or pride or shame or selfish desires. All our motivations revolve around those kinds of things. That’s the way it is here. That’s what life is, this life, in this world, at this time, for most of us. By adding a practice to our lives, we’re adding another vector, another vibration you could even say, that doesn’t come from our stuff. The name doesn’t come from ego. It doesn’t come from a separate self. These names, these practices, and these names were brought to this world by beings who had totally transcended the illusion of self, who recognized reality, became one with the universe and said, here, try this. So, it didn’t come from our egos, our small “s” selves. Yeah. Q: Do I feel the physical vibrations in spirals every time you build up a chant enough, or are those vibes just the part of opening up, accepting more and reduce over time? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. I just sing. I don’t know what happens. There’s nobody in here planning like, “okay, I’ll speed up now.” It just feels to go there. If you think that I know what I’m doing, other than squeezing this little box and pushing a button on the tabla machine, you’re dreaming. But I can do this pretty good cause I’ve been practicing for 50 years. So, I’m starting to get a clue as to what it might be about. The evenings just flow. They have their own flow. I’m not flowing it. Q: Do I have a fear of death? Well, I don’t know. Q: Did you feel the shift after Ram Dass’s passing? an experience that altered your understanding of life? I don’t feel like Ram Dass really went anywhere. I don’t, it’s, it’s kinda difficult to see his body now. It doesn’t seem to be available, but his presence is very strong. That’s not something new for me. My Guru left his body in ‘73, supposedly, and I feel him all the time. So, what I’m more afraid of the suffering, I suppose, pain. That’s probably what I’m more afraid of. I don’t know about death. I don’t really know what to expect. So, I feel that it’d be harder, the suffering that one might experience when one gets sick and is dying, that might not be fun, but spiritual practice is what you would do anyway to develop the ability to have a good death, a death that wasn’t constricted by fear and clinging to life. You want to be able to let go if that’s what’s going to happen. And at some point, it’s going to happen and we’re not going to have much of a choice at that point, except to let go. So, spiritual practice is the best way to live and the best way to die. A wonderful book by Ram Dass Mirabai Bush is “Walking Each Other Home.” “Walking Each Other Home,” check it out. Fantastic Q: How important is it that you can sing well if you want to lead kirtan? Why do you want to lead kirtan? Answer that question to yourself first, then we’ll talk about the rest. Q: Have you met Sri Anandamayi Ma? Yes. I met her many times in India in the old days. She had a an ashram down the block from where Maharajji’s ashram was in Vrindavan. When he threw us out, we would go to her place, visit and have Darshan. And then we’d come back to Maharajji. He’d say, “You went to see Ma? Did she feed you? No, I feed you.” They knew each other very well. Very well. Mr. Tiwari had been with Maharajji the first time that they met in this life, and they kind of looked at each other and just laughed, like “that’s you now? Oh my God.” Q: Which Ramayana do I prefer? Well, the version of the Ramayana that I’m closest to is Tulasi Das’s Ramayana. And Tulasi Das was a Saint, I think, in the 16th century, the 1600s, maybe 1700s. I’m not sure. And at that time the Brahmins, the pundits were the only ones who could tell the stories because they were the only ones who spoke Sanskrit and the original Valmiki Ramayana which was the first version of the Ramayana, was in Sanskrit. So they say Tulasi Das was reincarnation of Valmiki, and he retold the story in the vernacular language at the time, a dialect of Hindi called Avadhi, which is supposed to be the dialect spoken in Ayodhya, Ram’s kingdom in the time of Ram. And it’s all beautiful poetry and it’s very open and loving and Ram Dass gave me a copy of this when I first met him, before I went to India, and reading it was extraordinary. It rewired my brain because the story will be going along like this, and then all of a sudden something will happen and it’ll go into a complete explosion of love and go on, and it was just unbelievable, and then come back to the story and move along. And it’s the kind of love we don’t have the wiring for in the West. It’s not romantic love. It’s not needy love. It’s not business love. It’s what the heart feels when it senses who it is, when the heart finally feels itself, as it is, it explodes with love, it flows with love. So that’s what this book is about. It’s about the love that lives within us. And it tells a story of Rama, Hanuman, Sita Ram and yeah, it’ll rewire your brain and open up channels in you that you didn’t know existed. Q: Please share your thoughts about overcoming food addictions, particularly coffee and sugar. Now the sugar, no sugar. I use Monk Fruit. Lakanto. Monk Fruit is from a Chinese fruit. It’s just as sweet as sugar. No, no Glycaemic index at all. Diabetics can use it perfectly. It’s good for cooking. Good for coffee. So yeah. No, you shouldn’t drink coffee. Yeah. Yeah. Be happy. Don’t worry about it. Do what’s healthy for you if you can. Those kinds of addictions aren’t that serious. Q: There’s a question here, did Maharajji say if Ramakrishna was an incarnation of God? I’m trying to remember. There was one time where somebody quoted Ramakrishna, I think it was, to Maharajji and Maharajji said, “I don’t follow Ramakrishna. I follow Christ.” So, what can I tell you? But obviously he was a great being, I wouldn’t know, one way or the other, Q: Do you think we have to pray or ask for something to God? Or have we been, already been given everything? In that case, we just have to give thanks. Sometimes I feel that pray or ask is a paradox. It just depends how you feel about things, really. On one hand they say, God knows everything, supposedly. There’s no reason to ask for anything. It all comes to you. What you have and what’s going to come to you is what should come. What doesn’t come was not going to come. Well. I used to argue with Mr. Tiwari about this. We used to argue vociferously. We used to scream at each other about spiritual things. So, I don’t know, I was having some problem and he said, “No, pray to Maharajji. Ask Maharajji to help.” Because he did that all the time. And he was a great Yogi. And I said to him, I said to him, “No, I don’t want to ask, I don’t have to want, I don’t want to have to ask him for things.” And then Mr. Tiwari just with me, “Are you happy?” And the answer was no, I was not happy. And yet I wasn’t letting myself,… you know, it just depends how your devotion is. Some people feel comfortable in not asking. They have peace with that. Some people are at peace with asking. Either way,…

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    Ep. 45 | A Meditation With Bob Jul 13, 2021
    Show notes

    Call and Response Ep. 45 | A Meditation With Bob

    “Why do we want Ram, the Divine Rama, and utter the name, Rama, which comes from a verb that means to play and to enjoy? Actually, Rama does. ‘Ramaniya’ means to enjoy something. And why do we say, ‘Jai Ram’? May Ram triumph. May the Divine triumph. Why do we celebrate that? This is India’s vision, actually, which is the vision of the goodness of the universe. India is really the garden of Eden in ancient time. The richest, most benevolent nature in Eurasia, by far. The ancient civilizations in India were the most peaceful. Everything is relative, of course, in the relative world, but they were. And so, it’s natural that from India, a reassuring prayer emanates throughout history as we know it, that the world is a beautiful thing, that the default situation, if you just let it all go, is all right, you will be embraced, you will be caught in Nirvana. You will be caught in the clear light of the void, as the Buddhists called it. You will be caught in the fundamental bliss energies, Satchidananda, as the Vedantists called it; Being, Awareness and Bliss.” – Robert Thurman

    Bob: Shall we try to meditate together a little bit? I would like to lead a meditation if you’d like to go into meditative mode. Those of you who are sitting on the mat, cross-legged etcetera, you’re in good shape. Those of you who are sitting in a chair, you should try to cross your ankles and fold your hands in your lap and touch the tip of your thumbs if you can, although I sort of unorthodoxly like to link my fingers. I don’t know why. I’m not good about that.

    And, any way you’re comfortable, and tuck your chin a little and your shoulders a little back so you can sit still for a little while without being uncomfortable. Now, think about your breathing. Put your attention in the flow of breath in the nostrils if you can. Your lips should be loosely closed, tongue on the roof, on the palate behind the teeth, and breathing through the nostrils if possible, and just enjoying breathing. You don’t have to count but just revel in the fact and feel happy at that fact that when you draw in breath, energy comes to you from the universe and when you draw, when you exhale breath, waste product from your physical system is embraced by the universe, especially, in this case, the glorious of plants that are there, so kind to us, producing the energy oxygen that we need, producing from the sun and then taking up the carbon that we exhale and creating their own green leaved beauty, flowers, fruits, grains, all sorts of things that we need. So the fact that you can breathe and do breathe shows that this world is there for you. And, in a way, you are helping this world. Normally, we don’t even think about it. We take it for granted. But it’s a little bit of a clue of what all the great teachers of reality have taught us about the world being a good place, actually. The world being a benevolent place. The world being a fitting place for us. Of the four noble opinions, or facts, or truths, that the Buddha taught, His basic framework, at least. He also untaught them at other times, but He was never dogmatic, but in those things that He taught, the One that is real, most real, is the third One, the truth of Nirvana. The other ones are less real, and so, in a way, the whole gift of India, why do we all love India so much? Why do we want Ram, the Divine Rama, and utter the name, Rama, which comes from a verb that means to play and to enjoy? Actually, Rama does. Ramaniya means to enjoy something. And why do we say, “Jai Ram”? May Ram triumph. May the Divine triumph. Why do we celebrate that? This is India’s vision, actually, which is the vision of the goodness of the universe. India is really the garden of Eden in ancient time. The richest, most benevolent nature in Eurasia, by far. The ancient civilizations in India were the most peaceful. Everything is relative, of course, in the relative world, but they were. And so, it’s natural that from India, a reassuring prayer emanates throughout history as we know it, that the world is a beautiful thing, that the default situation, if you just let it all go, is all right, you will be embraced, you will be caught in Nirvana. You will be caught in the clear light of the void, as the Buddhists called it. You will be caught in the fundamental bliss energies, satchidananda, as the vedantists called it, being, awareness and bliss. And this is a hard lesson, either in the Eastern direction; Chinese, Japanese, they don’t all have this view, and in the west and middle east and Europe, they also did not have this view, a very difficult one, because their life is more of a struggle. In those less-blessed areas. But India’s great gift, and the people of India, the different waves of them, the melting pot that was India, all the different world views and languages and nations; many, many nations, actually, in India, not just one, but all of them have this kind of message. So, this is what you’re meditating, just on the basis of breathing.

    Ah, I can take in the ready energy that is there for me when I draw in my breath. It increases my life force, it is a life force for me outside of my skin. And my out-breathing is not giving up life force, it’s cleaning out an element that doesn’t increase my life force, a kind of waste product of carbon and, but this, the plant world around me likes that. So breathing proves to me, subliminally, that I’m, my life is something right, something real, something worthy, something desirable by the universe. And the Divine that I like is the Divine that India attained, vision of the Divine is the Divine that loves me. So, actually, contrary to what we’re kind of taught in our Western culture, that life is a struggle, a battle, that all kinds of negative things are lurking, they’re waiting for us at the macro, the micro, at all levels,the message of this divinity, of this vision of the Divine is that we are part of a field of joy, a field that’s Ramaniya, to be delighted in, to be enjoyed. And when we and our devotion, our bhakti comes from a sense of gratitude, of feeling the grace of that. So, this is the meditation, a meditation that the default, that behind the worries that nag at you, that nag at us, anxieties, the anticipations, the pains that we focus on, that we feel, behind all of that, that the depth, if we could get to the depths of the reality of it all, which is all enlightenment means, it means “knowing what is real.” Enlightenment does not mean “going into some other place.” You know? Developing some exotic strange ability of leaving, running away to something else. Enlightenment means “knowing what is real here and now about us and about our world and about others in our world.” So, this is actually quite a difficult meditation. To connect it to the mantra, Sri Ram. “Sri” means “Glory.” It means “grace.” It means, “glory.” It means, “a flow of blissful energy,” “golden blissful energy.” “Ram” means, “enjoyment of that.” So, “Sri Ram” means, “glorious enjoyment.” So, that means that Divinity knows your reality perhaps more than we do in our worrisome mind, and so we wish that divinity to concur, “Jai” our sort of state of worriness, our wrong, our ignorance-driven state of feeling isolated, alienated, lost and lonely, uncared for. So much so, maybe we don’t even care for ourselves. So, the meditation is meditating, and even if we don’t feel it right away, even if we don’t know it right away, even if it contradicts what we think we know, reality does care for us personally. It’s in the person of Rama, of Krishna, Buddha, Vishnu, Kalki, Kuruma, Dwarka, whatever, wherever it is. Many forms. So, we relax into that feeling at the deepest level is goodness, truth, beauty and the perceptions of all the difficulties is less real than that deeper level. Even death is not to be feared. Actually, death is the moment when we get closest to that deepest reality, actually. We don’t stay there because there is no place like that. It’s just when we’re most open to change, where our mind and spirit and soul has become completely free for a split second. So, it doesn’t connect to the meat puppet, what Baba Ram Das calls the “meat puppet,” therefore we call that death, because it leaves the meat puppet. And if it knew that deep reality it would not be driven to adopt a new meat puppet necessarily by, without free choice. It would only adopt one out of love because that deep reality is love. It’s an infinite energy that wants anything made of it, anything in contact with it to feel good, to be well, to feel beauty, to feel bliss. This is India’s great message, actually. All of the traditions in India teach this in some way or another. His Holiness the Dalai Lama is so honest and so beautiful. In one teaching He was doing in Delhi for many Indian devotees, He came to a place where it was scheduled, it had been requested that He give what’s called “The Blessing of Tara.” The, sort of, initiation or diksha, or blessing of Tara, introduction to Tara, the Savioress, the Messiahaess, and He said, “Ok, it’s time to do that now.” He said, “The problem is, I don’t have any blessing of Tara for you.” And there was like a feeling of sorrow at that statement, but then, lest that He get too deep, He then said, “But, you’re the ones who have the blessing of Tara. The blessing of Tara is in every single one of your own hearts. You have that blessing already. So, it’s nice when we do it like a ceremony or like a meditation together where you receive from a Guru, teacher, the Blessing of Tara, but really what it is, is it gives you the occasion, the excuse to feel that blessing within yourself that is already there.” So sweet. He’s such a sweet Being because He doesn’t want to take credit. He doesn’t want, He doesn’t personally, He doesn’t want people’s adulation. He’s not trying to somehow possess their affection. He just wants them to find in themselves this blessed grace that we all have in our deepest hearts. But we obscure it from ourselves, our culture conditions us to do so. Our habits condition us to do so. The actually really is the goal of mindfulness, in fact. Mindfulness is not just, sort of like, counting your breath or, you know, just kind of like, not thinking something. Mindfulness is being aware of your deepest self. What you really are. You’re the blessing in your soul, that is your soul, the connection to the deep, infinite, generous, gracious energy that is inexhaustibly abundant for all life, for an infinite life. Infinite beings. Infinite life. Amitayus.

    The beauty of the Bhakti Tradition is, when you do this meditation, when you probe through mindful awareness in yourself, to go past a sense of anxiety, worry, pain, suffering, something opens up when you persist, when you keep reminding yourself that “I can just draw in air to nourish my life force.” Its waiting energy waits for me all around me without depriving others around me, either. I go deeper.

    Then, the trick is to learn when we feel something well up within, seeming surprisingly to come out of nowhere, come out of soul space, subtle space, meaning “super subtle,” continuum space. When we feel that, we are pleased but we tend to grab at it. We want more. But strangely, when we do, that seems to cut it off. So, then the bhakti thing is, instead of grabbing at it, we give it away. We give it back. We let it just flow through us. We give it back to Rama, to Krishna, to Radha, to Sita. We give it back to Hanuman. Give it back to Tara. Give it back to Avalokiteshvara. Lokeshwara. And then, when we don’t grasp at it, but give it away, it becomes intense and again, there’s the temptation to grasp at it, which cuts it off. So, the Bhakti keeps an orientation of entering the flow, a sense of flow of grace, even though grace has already flown. But it doesn’t matter. We add our little bit by opening.

    In a little while, I’ll tell you about, from the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, the meaning of the syallable “Da.” But let’s finish the meditation. Ok. I think we can close the meditation.

    Now.

    Ding.

    I don’t have a bell. Ding. What do you think? What do you think? Guruji. What’s that? I can’t hear you.

    KD: Sing the Tara mantra.

    Bob: Oh, good. Tara mantra, yes. Tara mantra. If you go in the Padam Museum or the Calcutta Museum or in the old days, all over North India, the Delhi Museum, you will find these black basalt statues with Tara in the middle. Same Tara on the wall in the dining hall there. The one with one foot down, one foot cross-legged on their left leg, cross-legged under her thigh, but her right foot is down on the lotus in front of Her, which symbolizes that She’s about to get up. And then around Her on the stele, the black basalt stele that you’ll find hundreds of them, now there might have been thousands in ancient times, there are eight scenes and the eight scenes are like, wild elephants attacking someone, tigers attacking, lions attacking, thieves attacking, floods attacking, forest fires attacking and the king, a bad king, like our bad President attacking, putting you in jail for unjustly, you know… this is called the “eight dangers.” And they say, you call on Tara to quickly, She saves you from those eight dangers, the external ones, and those also symbolize internally, you know, the elephants are an attack of delusion, and the tigers are an attack of hatred, and the poisonous snakes are an attack of jealousy and so on, so there are eight mental additions, addictive emotions that tend to disturb our peace of mind, and she will also save from those, so internal and external. And we’ll talk about that more in detail. But this was just all over North India. And you know, Buddhist, Hindu, who cares, it’s like, irrelevant. Tara, you call on Tara, “Om Tare Tuttare Ture Swaha”. “Tare” is just calling on Her. “Tara” means Savioress. Female. And “Tuttare” means, “Super Tara.” And “Ture” means “quickly” Come here quickly. And “Swaha” means “welcome” or “hail” or “so be it” or whatever, you know. “Make it happen.” Like they say in Star Trek. You know? Make it so. “Swaha” means. So, then they say, you just say that with deep faith and the lions will, you can pet the lions and the tigers, the elephants will quiet down, the thieves will leave you alone, etcetera, they claim. I know some stories about getting out of prison and so on, I’ll tell you later. Ok. Guruji.

    Take it away.

    The post Ep. 45 | A Meditation With Bob appeared first on Krishna Das.


    Special Edition Conversations With KD April 16, 2020 Jul 06, 2021
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    Call and Response Special Edition – Conversations With KD April 16, 2020 Taking time to look back and move forward. Conversations With KD episodes are derived from the recordings of KD’s online events from his home during the 2020/ 2021 days of social distancing and quarantine from the onset of COVID and beyond. “We don’t know who God is, what God is, but he’s certainly not someone who sits in judgment of us. How could he even fit in there? We’re so busy judging ourselves. There’s no room for him to judge us or her to judge us.” – Krishna Das Oh, hi. Welcome back to the new abnormal, as somebody wrote. It’s good to be with you again. I can’t see you, but we’re here together on the planet. Yeah, so we’ll spend some time together again tonight. The chanting practice, for me, is the most powerful way that I have to keep letting go, coming back to some useful, reasonable perspective about things. Things tend to get a little intense when you’re locked in one space together, with people or without people. Even alone, it gets very intense because all you see is your own mind and at least when you’re alone, you can’t blame anybody else for your thoughts and your emotions. But when you’re with other people, it can get pretty intense. But regardless, alone or together, or whatever, sooner or later, we have to deal with our mind and our thoughts and our emotions. As the previous Karmapa, the 16th Karmapa once said, “The only thing you take with you when you die is your state of mind.” So, now is the time to begin, or continue working with that state of mind, getting to a place where it doesn’t push us around all the time, where we get some vote into how we go through the day, how we sit inside of ourselves. The meaning of these chants is not to be understood intellectually. And what happens is, the more you chant, the deeper, the more often you come back to the chant. And so, you’re actually acclimating yourself to sit in the chanting and the flow of sound. And inside this flow of sound, many things will come, many understandings, intuitions, flashes of insight come from inside the chant, comes to the awareness, comes to our mind. Those are not thoughts. They are coming from inside the chant, their intuition coming from the heart, the seat of awareness in ourselves, our true nature, our heart cave, or as they call it, “hridayam,” the seat of consciousness in the body. It’s not actually in the body, they say, but it’s attached, it attaches itself to the body and pumps awareness into the body. The mind is what lights up everything that we see. Just like the sun lights up the physical world, or lamps, flashlights, it’s the mind that lights up everything we see, everything we think. All the objects that we perceive are actually perceived by awareness. And this awareness is part of that Satchidananda, which is the way, one of the ways they describe reality or divinity, real divinity. Truth, consciousness, awareness and bliss. Happiness is one of those things. Although if you’re from Long Island, you know, you might be disqualified from that last last one, but we’re working on it. Yeah. So as we chant, and Maharajji used to say, from going on repeating these names, everything is accomplished. Everything is brought to fullness. That’s a very powerful statement and is something that we have to, at least, if not take on faith, not blind faith, but educated faith, if not then at least we have to suspend disbelief long enough to do the practice and get the experience ourselves. If you can’t do the practice, if you can’t look inside, you won’t see. So, if we’re prevented from doing that by skepticism or by a negative take on reality or a belief that we could never be happy, there’s no way we could deal with our shit. If we don’t do anything, if we don’t plant the seeds of waking up, we won’t wake up. That’s the deal. And all of these names that we sing, these are the names of that place within us. True being, true love, reality. Now, how can that be a name of something like that? We don’t know. We have to just do the practice and have our own experience of it, see if it changes the way we feel about how we go through our day. And it doesn’t happen all at once, it takes time and trying to give ourselves more and more to the practice, trying to really be there while we’re doing it. It’s very hard, you know, we’re not used to it. We’re just used to getting lost in stuff. When we watch a movie on television, we’re not aware that we’re watching, we’re just gone into it. When we’re reading a book, we’re not aware that we’re reading. We’re just reading. When we go through our day, we’re not aware, we’re asleep. We’re just going through stuff automatically. So, the idea of doing a practice comes to us as a result of our own karmas, our own good karmas, the karmas that create the longing to be free of negativity, of stuff, of suffering. Which is created by our own minds. So, as we do these practices, even when we get caught in stuff, we don’t get caught quite as deeply as we used to. Little by little, gradually but inevitably, that the reality, the presence that’s hidden within us is uncovered. It’s like the lights go on and you see the way home and you start to move in that direction. People say, Oh, you know, what’s the most powerful chant? And I say, the one that you do. What’s your favorite chant? Who knows? Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t. You sing what you feel and follow that feeling. Believe in that feeling trust in that feeling, the whole path is nothing but learning to trust ourselves and our own experience, and to let the clouds go, let the clouds that come between us in the sun, just keep letting them go as we trust our own intuition and experience. Back in the old days in India, I was staying at the Tiwari’s house, Mr. and Mrs. Tiwari, my Indian parents, and I had heard somewhere, someone was singing this thing that had these words, “Narayani Namostute”, which means I bow down to Naryani, the goddess Durga. So, I asked Mr. Tiwari, “Baba,” as I called him, I said, “Baba, have you ever heard this? Narayani Namostute?” “Oh yes.” “Oh really? Could you teach it to me?” Well, so we were in the living room, drinking tea. So, he was having milk. I was having chai. And so he started to recite this prayer, just sitting there, no books or anything. And I was trying to write it down. He was going slow. And then he just kind of closed his eyes and went off faster and faster and deeper and deeper. And after about 20 minutes… So, I just had it after about 20 minutes, he’s going, “Om Narayani, Om Narayani, Om Narayani…” He went into samadhi. He merged with the goddess. And he’s like this, and he’s not breathing. Not breathing. Not breathing. Okay? And tears are streaming down his cheeks just like this. So, I thought, “Shit, I killed him.” Just then, Ma comes into the living room to get the tea cups. And I say, “Ma, look, it’s Baba. When’s he going to come back?” And she picked up the teacups. She just looked at me and she said, very sweetly… that’s her over there, I don’t know if you can see her right now… She said, “Don’t know,” and then went into the kitchen, leaving me with this crying corpse, The thing was, it really pissed me off because he wasn’t even trying, he was just singing to the mother, calling the mother, calling the goddess and he just went. She came. So, we’re working on it. Okay. All right, let’s see what kind of questions do we have here. Q: How did you overcome the sadness of having the Guru in the body? Does one ever overcome the longing to have him in the flesh, to see? No. No, you never overcome that longing, but at some point, you see… because we identify with the body and the mind, and not the mind, but the body and the thoughts and the emotions. We see the Guru as the body, thoughts and emotions. And so, if that body’s not there, we get very upset, like me. I got very upset, very depressed, very suicidal, very screwed up, but at some point, I realized that… I came from one room to another in my apartment, in the city at that point, in New York, and I was struck like a lightning bolt with the understanding that if I did not chant with people, I would never clean out the dark corners and the shadows in my own heart. And it was obvious to me that at that moment, that those shadows and those dark corners were the only thing that was causing me suffering, and that I had to do that in order to reconnect more deeply with Maharajji. I had felt, I felt that I had let go of his hand. And he had said many times to us. He said, “Once I take your hand, I never let go. Even when you let go of mine.” And I had let go out of my sadness and my emotional attachment to being with his body, I broke my, from my side, I broke the connection. I lost the connection and I recognized the only way to get it back was to start chanting with people. So, I started and as time went on, I began to feel his presence in a different way. And so I don’t miss him that way anymore, the way I did when he first left the body. I mean, it was the best show on earth. Totally fascinating, totally joyful, blissful a lot at the time. And amazing. So, you’re going to miss that, but that wasn’t the deepest part of it. And I had to recognize that and find that deeper presence in my own being and in everyone around me too, because he’s not limited to being inside of me, so to speak. So, part of practice is seeing that presence, that love, that beauty in every being around. And like it says in the Gita, I read it the other day. I’ll just read it again if I can find it. Krishna, Sri Krishna says, “when he sees me,” that’s me Krishna, Guru, God, “When he sees me in all and sees all in me, then I never leave him. And he never leaves me. And he who in this oneness of love, loves me in whatever he sees. Wherever this man may live, in truth, He lives in me.” I just had that stop moping around and get with the program, because that’s the deal. And coming from Long Island, it wasn’t very easy, but that’s the deal Q: Did Maharajji have children? Yeah. He had three children. He left home at a very early age. He had been engaged to a village girl when he was like eight or nine. They get engaged very early, and then, later on they get married. Many years later when they grow up more. So, he had been engaged to a village woman, a village girl and then he ran away from home, they say, because his mother, his stepmother, his mother had died and his father remarried and his stepmother, they had a son and she wanted the son, her son, to take, to inherit the land. His father was a landowner, a farmer, and he had a lot of land apparently. So, she wouldn’t feed him and treated him very badly. So, he split and he went to the jungle for many years, and years later somebody recognized him and told his father and his father came and brought him back home, and he married the girl and they had three children, and he pretty much stayed around home until his daughter, who was his youngest child, went off to a school at his brother’s house. And at that point he kind of left home and never much really lived there again, at home. She said her name is Girija. She said that he was the ideal father. He used to walk her to school with an umbrella when it was too hot and the sun was shining. She remembers that he was just always there. But that’s part of his, the word is “leela”, which means “play,” because he wasn’t always there, but people didn’t miss Him. Very strange stuff. Once you start getting into this, it’s really… One of the things that happened is for many years, he would just sit inside the house. He wouldn’t travel, he wouldn’t go anywhere. And people would come to the house, Sadhus and yogis would come to see him how they knew he was there, no one knows, because he didn’t advertise, you know. He just stayed in the house, but they found him. So, yeah, so many stories. Yes. He was married. Three children. Q: Did Maharajji give me the name, Krishna Das? Yes, he did. All the other Westerners had Indian names, after a year or so. I was the only one who didn’t have one. My name, He used to call me “driver.” Ram Dass had had bought a Volkswagen bus. And Maharajji said to Ram Dass, “You’re a Saint, you have to travel the lowest way,” on the buses, the state buses, public bus transportation. And he took the keys from Ram Dass and he gave them to me. He said, “You’re the driver.” From that point on, he called me “driver” for about a year. And finally, he’d go “driver!” So finally, one day I get called into the room and he looks at me and He says, “Krishna. Nay, Arjun. Nay, Krishna Das.” And I looked at Him and I said, “Krishna Das?” You know? I’m a Hanuman guy, what is this Krishna stuff? And he just laughed. He said, “Nay nay, Hanuman served Krishna too.” So that’s how I got my name. Q: What can someone do if they live in a very small town in the USA and may never be able to have a guru find them? Sweetheart, the Guru can find you anywhere, any time, any day, any year in a minute, in a second, if that’s what’s supposed to happen for you, if that’s the best thing for you and your development. You know, you gotta get with the program. It’s not about you. It’s not about what you want. It’s not about how you think it should be. It happens to be a certain way and it’s the gurus who run the show and they find us when we’re, when it’s, when we need that. If we don’t meet a guru in the physical form, does that mean that you don’t have a guru? Not at all. Everyone has a lineage that they’re part of. Everyone. Whether they’re aware of it is irrelevant. Look at yourself, see the work you have to do and get with the program. That’s all. It’s not about us. The program is running. Work on yourself. Be a good human being. Give up, work with your shame, your guilt, your fear, your anger, your selfishness. Guru is always with you. Guru, God and self are not different. That’s what they say. So, don’t mope around. It’s not useful. Get to work and do what you have to do to find who you are, and then Guru will be everywhere. Q: Tell us how Mr. Tiwari came back from samahdi. I’ll let you know when I go there and come back. Actually, you know, he was a schoolteacher and the headmaster of a school later on and in India, the family usually waits and they eat together at night when they’re finally all home. So, he would come home from work and he would start doing His Puja, His practices, and he would go into samadhi for hours and everybody would be waiting to eat and they couldn’t bring him down. So Mrs. Tiwari, she went to Maharajji and complained, actually. And Maharajji told her something to do to bring him back from samadhi. I don’t know what it is, but she knows. So, you know, I spent so much time with them. We used to sleep in the same bed when I stayed with them. He’d get up at 3:30 in the morning, go pee, come back to bed, sit cross-legged, boom. Gone for hours until tea time. I would roll over in bed and go back to sleep. I think to myself, “Krishna Das, why didn’t you try to meditate? What is wrong with you?” But you know, he never even intimated like, “Would you like to meditate?” He never said that. He allowed me to be just as stupid as I had to be. And he never pushed me that way. Every once in a while, when I was sitting, he’d come in and say, “Why are you leaning against the wall? Sit up straight.” How did he know that? You know, he was amazing. He had all these, he had a lot of siddhis himself and he seemed to know a lot of things that couldn’t really be known. Q: People who had near death experience described that they were sent back because they haven’t finished their work. Do you know what kind of work we are expected to finish? Yeah. You’re expected to finish thinking you are who you think you are. You’re not who you think you are. And until you learn that lesson, we’ll keep reincarnating until we recognize our true nature and become one with the universe. We will keep…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Ep. 44 | Share Your Story Jun 29, 2021
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    Call and Response Ep. 44 | Share Your Story Q: Could (you) share some of your story about what was going on before you decided to go to India “Everyone has a Guru. Everyone has a lineage that they’ve been involved with, especially if you’re interested in this crazy stuff in the first place, and everybody is, every moment, including this moment, receiving the fruits of their karmas. And the motivation for a great saint, they only have one motivation, they only have one agenda, which is compassion for us, because we don’t know what’s going on. So, they’re here for one reason only. For our sake. So, that means that everyone is getting exactly what they need at every moment. There’s no slippage in the system. If you’ve seen, if you’ve met a guru, a real guru, not a wannabe guru, not a “hope it’s a guru” not a fake guru… don’t let me continue, because it gets worse… if you’ve met a real guru then that was the best thing, that was what you needed. If you haven’t, that’s what you need.” – Krishna Das Q: I guess mine was just asking about if you could share some of your story about what was going on before you decided to go to India that may be whatever it was for you, and also, how did you find your Guru? You land in India and then also, from there, I like those moments, the transition moments of all the things, you know, playing music, you know, doing what you’re doing now, of all the things you could do, how did that, just… KD: It was either this or pump gas. Those were the two options. Well, I went to India in August 1970. I had already been pretty involved in spiritual stuff for quite a few years. I read all three books on the stuff that were here in America at the time, Autobiography of a Yogi, Gospel of Ramakrishna and Zen and Japanese Culture. Oh, wait, and there was Yoga for Health. Something like that. Unbelievable. Thank you. So, but you know, I was really, I was very unhappy. I wasn’t really a happy camper. A lot of, a lot of self hatred, a lot of self loathing, a lot of not being able to be happy and get what I wanted in life. It was really not a lot of fun to be me. And then, oh, I moved upstate New York to live on a farm that the brother of a friend of mine had bought. They were Jungian acid head mountain climbers. These people would take 1000 mics of acid and climb mountains like this, straight vertical, they were unbelievable. Very wild. And they had a group, they had a family they called the Vulgarians. Anyway they were great folks and they, one guy, a friend of theirs, had seen Ram Das when he first came back from India in late 1968, yeah. And then they, he gave a talk in New York in early 1969, I think, and this guy met, went there, and then he came up and told his friends about it and then they were going to go drive up to New Hampshire where Ram Das was living on his father’s estate. He was living above the garage. It was a huge beautiful house, but he was living above the garage in like a little… he had come back from India and had camped out there. So, I had just come, so, they said they were going to meet this guy and I, you know, I said, “I’m not interested in any white yogis” you know? Once an asshole, always an asshole. What can I tell you? So, they went off. They were supposed to come back the next day. But they didn’t come back for like, three days, right? And I had just come out of the goat shed. We had two goats, Alice Bailey and Madam Blavatsky, our two goats, and I was holding a pale of milk, right? And they came back and I saw the car cut through the field, it comes around, and he parked it and he gets out of the car and he looks at me, like, and there was light shooting out of his head. I had never seen anything like that. I said, “Write down the directions. I’m leaving now.” I ran out to my cabin and I got my stuff together and I got my stuff together and took off and drove all night. So, I got, I got there around, maybe around 10 o’clock in the morning and my car, the carborator, not the carborator, the exhaust system had a hole in it so all night long it was like… eehhhhhhhhh. I pulled in, I turned the car off. Silence. And there was snow everywhere. There wasn’t a sound. It was unbelievable. And I felt this little thing in the center of my chest go… what was that? Did I have a heart attack? What was that? That was weird. So, then I walked up to the house and knocked on the door. The door opens. This guy with long hair and a long beard smiles. And he just points up these steps and I thought, get me the fuck out of here. What is this? These people are weird. But it was too late. So, I walked up the steps and there was like, you walk up the steps and there was like a wall, you know? And I walked up, I got to the steps and I turned and Ram Das was sitting in the corner. He had his eyes closed like this. The minute I walked into the room, something hit me, right? And I knew all of a sudden, I knew that whatever I was looking for was real. I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know what to call it. But all of a sudden, I knew that whatever it was, it was real, it was in the world and it could be found. That’s, it was just like that. And that was Maharajji. I didn’t know that at the time. So, I spent all day with Ram Das and one of the things he used to do was, you would sit opposite each other and look into each other’s eyes and he would say, “Whatever thoughts come to your mind that you don’t want to say, say.” And I thought, “right.” It made me so aware of my thoughts, and not one of them came out of my mouth. So, then, at the end of the afternoon or early evening he said, “Well, it’s getting late” oh, and at one point he gave me a mantra that had been given to him by one of his teachers. Not Maharajji but another teacher. He gave me this mantra and we repeated it for awhile. So then, later on, he said, “Ok, it’s getting late. If you want to stay, you can stay. We can have dinner and then spend the night. Or you could, but if you’re going to go, you should go now.” So, I’ve got to go because first thing in the morning, I have to drive a school bus. That’s what I was doing for Kingston High School in upstate New York. I was the hippie bus driver. So, I said, “I’ve got to go.” He said, “Don’t worry about it. Your mantra will protect you. Weird stuff. What is this guy talking about, you know? So anyways, so I get in the car and now remember, I’d driven all through the night, the night before, and then I’m all day with him, so I get into the car and I start driving. Somewhere along the line, I got really tired, like about an hour out, so I pulled off the road and I had one of those old wind-up alarm clocks, a baby Ben alarm clock. I wound it up, put it on the ash tray right by the front thing and I set it for, like, an hour, right? So, I go to sleep. The next thing I know, I’m driving. Where am I? I’m driving. I’m on the right side of the road. I’m not speeding. But I’m driving. I’m on the road. You know? It took me so long to realize what was happening. I’m driving. I had woken up. I had turned the alarm clock off and I had started the car in my sleep. The first thought that came to me was, “Your mantra will protect you.” All the way to New York I screamed that mantra at the top of my lungs. So, then, I started to get closer to Ram Das and then I wound up spending a lot of time the next year and a half and then I wanted to go to India to be with Maharajji, because he would talk about Maharajji all the time. And I began to understand that what I was feeling, which I thought was coming from Ram Das, was just coming through him and that it was Maharajji. I shouldn’t say, “Just coming through him,” that’s not the right thing. It was coming through him, which was a big thing. So, I said, he said, “Well, you know, when I left india, Maharajji said “not to talk about him”” but of course, that’s all he did, was talk about him. But he never said His real name and he never said where to find Him. So, Maharajji’s like, it’s a.. everyone’s, so many people, are called Maharajji, just so you know, you could call anybody, “Oh Maharaj” so it doesn’t really tell you who He is. So, I said, “Well, I’m going. I don’t care. We’ll find Him.” “Ok, ok, wait, wait. I have a friend named KK Shah, so you write to him and maybe he’ll help you.” So, KK lived up in the mountains, so I wrote to KK and I got a letter back saying, “Wonderful to hear from you and”, you know, “Maharajji is not in the hills at His temple in Kainchi at this time.” Ok, we’ve got a name and a place. “But when He returns, I’ll bring your letters to him and” you know, “I’ll write back to you.” Because I had said, we want to come meet Maharajji.” He said, “Well, He’s not there.” So, about a month later, I got another letter from KK and it said, “Maharajji has returned to His temple and after a few days, I was able to go and see Him. As you know, Great Saints like Maharajji do not encourage the devotees to come to them. But, their doors are always open. So, if you’re traveling in India, you can come see Him.” Great. Here we go. Right? No hesitation at all. Ok, fantastic, we’re going. Not exactly. Many years later, KK said to me, “Did I ever tell you what really happened that day?” I said, “What do you mean?” He said, “Well, I came to the temple and I took your letters. Maharajji, there was a couple other people in the room. And I took your letters and I put them down next to Maharajji. There were three letters. Three of us. I put them down next to Maharajji on His bed. And He was just talking to people. So, I began to peel an apple and cut it up in small pieces and feed it.” Maharajji had like three or four teeth. So you get a soft apple and cut it up and he would gum it. And so I was feeding Him the apple, and He was talking to these people and he happened to notice the letters. He said, “What’s that?” And I said, “They’re letters from students of Ram Das, they want to come see you.” “Nay. Tell them not to come. What do I have to do with this?” And he goes back to His conversation. So now, here’s the beauty of the whole drama, right? You see, KK had grown up in Maharajji’s lap, from the time he’s 8 years old, Maharajji was like, his grandfather. They had the closest, sweetest relationship. There was no, like, you know, no distance. They were very, it was very close and sweet. And KK’s like a spoiled brat. If you tell him to sit down, he stands up. If you tell him to eat, he fasts. If you tell him to go away, he stays. This is the way he’s made. So, even with Maharajji, he would act, like, the same way. And furthermore, when Ram Das came to India and met Maharajji, KK was there. So, Maharajji, Ram Das told, Maharajji told Ram Das to go home with KK and told KK to serve Ram Das. So, KK was serving Ram Das by showing Maharajji our letters, right? That’s how he felt about it. Now, Maharajji was interfering with the very service that he gave KK to do. And KK would not stand for that. So, KK told me, he began to pout. And he stopped feeding Maharajji the apple and looked down like this. Maharajji looks at him and said, “What’s the matter? What’s the matter?” KK wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t talk to him. “KK, what’s the matter?” And KK said Maharajji pushed his head up like this. KK said he’d look away. Finally, Maharajji throws his hands up in desperation, he said, “Ok, tell them what you want.” “Tell them what you want.” Now, is he going to lie? No. But, being a good devotee, he won’t lie, but also, serving Ram Das is helping us. So, he writes, “As you know, great Saints like Maharajji do not encourage the devotees to come to them. But their doors are always open.” That’s how it happened. My whole life, on a thread, you know? It seems, from our point of view, but not from His point of view. He knew exactly what was going to happen and how it was going to happen. And in fact, let’s see, so that was in, spring, spring ’72, so four months later, five months later, there we are in India, we get up to Nainital, which is where KK was from and it turns out, he’s at the temple with Maharajji that day. So, we got in a taxi and went to the temple and that was the deal. Here we are. I mean, if KK, if it had been a different devotee who wasn’t as close to Maharajji, who didn’t have that kind of sweet, long-time relationship, he might have written back and said, “You know, Maharajji says not to come.” Then, I wouldn’t be here. I don’t know where you would be. It probably wouldn’t be here. So, this is all, these, it’s all grace, but we we don’t really see it clearly so we have to, we have to work our way through our nonsense until we can see things and be who we are. I often think about, I kind of feel like, I was on the train, a train of my life, right? And it stopped at some station and, I looked out the window and there was Maharajji. So, I ran out of the train and I was just like hanging out with Him. “Hi.” Yeah. And then, He sent me back on the train, you know? But without having met Him, that train ride would have been a hell of a lot different. A lot different. But that’s me. I always, people say, “Oh, I wish I had a guru.” I said, “What are you, kidding?” I was the one who wouldn’t have made it unless I saw him physically. You don’t seem to need that. That’s great. Have a good life. Leave me alone. You’ve got to understand, you don’t have to understand but I’ll just tell you the way it looks to me. Everyone has a Guru, everyone has a lineage that they’ve been involved with, especially if you’re interested in this crazy stuff in the first place. And everybody is, every moment, including this moment, receiving the fruits of their karmas. And if and, the motivation for a great saint, they only have one motivation, they only have one agenda, which is compassion for us. Because we don’t know what’s going on. So, they’re here for one reason only. For our sake. So, that means that everyone is getting exactly what they need at every moment. There’s no slippage in the system. If you’ve seen, if you’ve met a guru, a real guru, not a wannabe guru, not a “hope it’s a guru” not a fake guru, don’t let me continue, because it gets worse, if you’ve met a real guru then that was the best thing, that was what you needed. If you haven’t, that’s what you need. You’ve got to, you can’t think yourself into a corner and then sit around and mope for the rest of your life. It just won’t, it’s not the best thing to do. If you’ve met a guru, either, and ok, so I, after I met Ram Das, now up until that point, all I saw was a little, maybe four by six black and white picture of Maharajji, an old picture, ok? He didn’t even look, in that picture, the way he looked at that time. But I dreamt about Him. And I had this incredible dream about Him before I went to India and met Him. Ok? And in the dream, I saw Him walking. This was a long dream, by anyway, He had a very unusual walk. It was like a two year old bouncing from one leg to another. So He would always hold somebody’s hand when He was walking. So, about a year and half into my visit to India, I came to the temple late one day, I don’t know why, I had something to do in town, and usually, when we came to the temple, we’d be sitting outside and He would come and sit right down on His bed and we would be sitting around Him. So, when I got to the temple, I walked into the courtyard and there He was, all alone, walking across the courtyard, and I just stopped like, because He was walking the way He walked in my dream. I had never seen Him walk before. It was like, and He just stopped in the middle and looked at me and He goes, “Oh, these westerners, come here!” You know? I didn’t even offer Him the apples I had. He just looked at me and laughed. He grabbed the apples and threw them to somebody. My mind just stopped. So, I really met Him before. And so, if I could meet a Guru before I met Him physically, so can you. They’re not limited. We’re limited. And we only need one thing, which we already have. That’s longing.…

    Full show notes at the publisher

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