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    Religion & Spirituality

    Call and Response with Krishna Das

    Devotional yogic chanting with a Western influence. CDs and cassettes for sale, artist background, schedule of live appearances.

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    Latest Episodes:
    Ep. 43 | Practice Arising By Itself, Dharmageddon and Does the Curriculum Change With Age Jun 15, 2021
    Show notes

    Call and Response Ep. 43 | Practice Arising By Itself, Dharmageddon and Does the Curriculum Change With Age

    Question: I’m just finding it to be that I don’t have to try so hard because it just happens and what I like about that, it seems like it took a long time to get there. It gets better and it seems like it’s just easy. You just fall into it. Why all the struggles?

    “Let’s say you’re home when that happens, you’re just sitting around and you remember the Name, for instance, or the Name shows up in your head. If you’re home, you could, you could go with it for a few minutes, right? You could allow it to surface, really surface.” – Krishna Das

    Q: I’m finding out that the older I get, not old, whatever, that the practice comes by itself a lot of times. You’re thinking about it then all of a sudden.

    KD: Sure.

    Q: And I’m just finding it to be I don’t have to try so hard because it just happens and what I like about that, it seems like it took a long time to get there. It gets better and it seems like its just easy. You just fall into it. Why all the struggles? Oh, I don’t want to do that, it’s too hard. Now its so easy or easier.

    KD: That’s good, but you know, so tell me about your experience. Give him back the mic.

    Q: Well…

    KD: What are you exactly referring to?

    Q: Well, it’s just the whole practice in general, I guess.

    KD: Meaning?

    Q: Just like that? Oh, god.

    KD: Like, for instance, a lot of times, the mantra will come back to me during the day and kind of, I’ll recognize that it’s there when I had forgotten, right? I’ve been just driving around or something and then I’ll hear, in a sense, in my head, the mantra, so that comes back to you. Sure. But what do you do at that moment?

    Q: Seems to me I try to keep going with it. Yeah.

    KD: Right. That’s it. Sure. But, that’s all good. No question about it. But there’s so many levels of sleep, so to speak. There’s so much time we spend asleep. The idea is to kind of gradually shorten the amount of time it takes for us to remember the mantra, for instance, right? And the way that happens, the way that is shortened is by willfully, using our personal will to bring ourselves back. But even, that’s an interesting thing, because ok, so you’re chanting, right? And then you notice you haven’t been paying attention and then you come back to the chant. How did you notice? Ha. You just do. It happens by itself. But we know that nothing happens without a cause. There’s no effect without a cause and no cause that doesn’t have an effect that became a cause, so if you, all of a sudden, woke up, so to speak, and recognized that you hadn’t been paying attention, that waking up is a direct result of practice you’ve done in the past. Either this life or another life. Otherwise you would get born, you’d graduate from high school, you’d drink some beer, and then you’d die. And you’re not here for one moment of your life. How many people do we know? Most of them are in the supermarket when you go there. Look around. Nobody’s home. It’s unbelievable. It’s like, yeah, sure, swimming through, like, water and… so, there you are, singing, and you haven’t been paying attention and then you, you go, “Oh, ok.” And you come back. How did that happen? You didn’t do that. You weren’t here, you were in dreamland. How did it happen that you came back and noticed? Consciousness, you became aware and awareness is something that is always here but recognized more through practice, through remembering. That’s what practice is. Remembering. So, you sit down to remember. “I’m remembering. I’m remembering my breath. Breathing in. Breathing out. Breathing in. Breathing out. Oh, I’ve got to go to the store later. What am I supposed to buy? Did I write it down? I don’t think I wrote it down. Oh, ok. My breath.” That moment when we come back, that is, in itself, an effect of the cause of having done practice before. Already. For instance, none of you would be here if you didn’t have some interest in this. Where did that interest come from? Why are you here and the other 400,000, 400 million people in DC are off having a good time?

    Because we have, we share a common interest in something, something that’s supposed to be here today, I don’t know if it is but whatever. Ok. Thank you. All right, five bucks. Everytime you…

    See me afterwards.

    All right, so is that good? Yeah. That’s practice but, if that’s fine for you, if you’re happy with that, if you’re at ease with that, fine. If you feel that you still spend a lot of time asleep and you’d like to, you know, wake up more, then try doing, you know, let’s say you’re home when that happens, you’re just sitting around and you remember the Name, for instance, or the Name shows up in your head. If you’re home, you could, you could go with it for a few minutes, right? You could allow it to surface, really surface. If you’re driving in your car, you’ve gotta keep your eyes on the road, but if it happens sometime where you’re free of, you know, things that you… then you can kind of sit with it and notice it. It’ll fade. Cause it always fades, cause that’s our karmas, too. And then you’ll be off doing something else and then it’ll happen again. But the more you recognize that and allow it to deepen or allow the awareness to rise, however you want to say about it, that will shorten those moments when you’re not present. Ok.

    Q: I have a question about those having a guru and karma and I’ve been practicing with a Buddhist community for 20 years that’s kind of going through Dharmageddon right now, people are saying. What if your karma has led you to take samaya with a guru who’s…

    KD: Why don’t you explain to people what “samaya” is.

    Q: Vows. Lifelong, lifetimes of being connected to, of taking him as your teacher for lifetimes.

    KD: In, she’s talking about Vajrayana Buddhism, Tibetan Buddhism. So, in Vajrayana, the Guru is treated as, almost like a deity. There’s nothing the Guru can do that isn’t purely motivated by compassion. That’s the ideal situation and when you take samaya it means you vow, you take a vow to see the Guru like that. And that anything they do is motivated only by pure intention and compassion, even if it doesn’t seem like that to you. It’s very, very advanced. It’s not for everyone. And it’s a very advanced situation. So, this young woman took this vow with a Guru who fucked up really bad. And hurt a lot of people and did a lot of terrible things. And there’s a whole thing going on in that community and a lot of different communities right now. And all I can say to you is, you have to listen to your heart as to what the right thing is to do. Don’t listen to anything other than your own feelings in this case, that you have every right to either leave the community or stay with the community or do whatever. It’s all completely and absolutely up to you. There should be no pressure you feel from the outside, because ultimately, they are just human like you are and this Guru came from a very particular lineage and there’s no way to understand why he did the things he did. No one can know another’s motivations, even though it’s pretty obvious that he was screwed up. But still, one can’t know. One can only trust one’s heart in any situation, whether you took a vow or didn’t take a vow. You took a vow because you trusted your heart. You can leave because you trust your heart. Nothing bad can come to you from the outside. That’s the deal.

    Q: Thank you.

    Q: So, thank you very much for being here. My question is about stages in life and the question is, does the curriculum always stay the same?

    KD: Meaning what?

    Q: Well, the question comes from actually thinking about this last book that Ram Das wrote with Mirabai Bush about preparing for death, and that death should be at the forefront of our awareness.

    KD: Walking each other home?

    Q: Yeah. And I guess I’m just wondering, you know, when one’s a kid, when one’s in their 20s, when one’s in their 30s, I mean does the curriculum, are there life stages and are there times in our lives where, I’ll put it this way, were there times in your life when the practice, you woke up and sort of said, “Wow, that’s the practice.” “Oh, no, that’s the practice.” “Oh, no, that’s the practice.” And are there times in our lives where, well, I guess, you know, I’ll leave it at that. Does the curriculum stay the same?

    KD: Well, yes and no, you know? The curriculum is to wake up. And to find real love. That’s the curriculum as far as I’m concerned. And to live in that love 24 hours a day, or that space of presence or being or true nature, whatever you want to call it. It’s to be in that full-time. To recognize your true nature. To awaken. So that’s the curriculum that stays the same for somebody who’s interested in that. But you have different issues to deal with as you get older, as the body ages, as you mature emotionally, etcetera. But the curriculum stays the same. You just have other issues to deal with. And different things become, you know, when you’re sixteen, basically the curriculum is to wake up and get laid. When you’re eighty-six, the curriculum is to just wake up.

    That was pretty good.

    Wow.

    So, yeah. You know, that’s like that. Some traditions have as their practice, meditation on death, from the beginning. And what that means to an eight year old is very different than what it means to somebody who’s actually eighty with the imminent, with the end of the physical body much more imminent and actually, you know, feeling it in the body. Then you start to think, “ok. Wow. You know, you wake up in the morning and stuff isn’t working like it worked the day before. “What happened, I didn’t do anything.” Yeah, you did. You got old. So the curriculum is the same, but the issues are ever changing. No? What do you think? That’s what I think. Was that reasonable or was it not?

    Q: That was totally reasonable. Yeah. The situations change. Maybe I’m just, maybe what I’m really asking is, do the practices change?

    KD: Aha.

    Q: Do the practices in which one uses to approach the changing situations, do some make more sense than others. For example, just a quick, in teaching kids about Thoreau and Walden, they’re like “What is this stuff? I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be… solitude is the last thing that feels… I need.” When you get a little older, you go, “whoa, there’s something there.” So I guess the question may be more about practice than curriculum.

    KD: I don’t know. Yeah it could change. I mean, in my situation it’s just a question of being able to give myself more fully to the practice I’m doing. That kind of seems to have deepened over the years. There’s less stuff pulling me out of the moment and I’m able to give myself more fully to whatever practice I’m doing and there are practices, you know, different traditions have different practices for learning how to die consciously, learning how to dream consciously, be aware in your dreams and stuff like that. A lot of practices out there that, I don’t know if they change necessarily with stages of life, I think they change as you change in your own life, too. But yeah, there’s all kinds of things and you might be led to other practices as time goes on because then they all of a sudden, they make more sense to you. You know, like, monks tend to do practices that teach them to be disgusted by the human body. So they don’t get attached to their own body or attracted to other bodies, to protect their vows. You know, they meditate on, you know, this bag of slime and shit and mucous that, that we carry around with us, that we think is so beautiful, you know? You know? So, that’s… they’ll really cultivate that so when they look out, they’ll see bags of slime and shit and mucous. They don’t see somebody they’d like to screw. But that’s a very particular practice for a very particular person who’s involved that way. Not for us. Although, as time goes on, you know, Tulsi Das, this great poet in Indian traditions, said “Oh Lord, save me from the fever of youth.” You know, the older you get you go like, “What was I thinking? Oh, I wasn’t thinking.” You know, it’s like being young is like, the hormones cruising through your blood and it’s like, the fever. Gobble gobble gobble gobble. You know, you get a little older, it’s like, can I just rest a little bit? No! Go grab more stuff. You know. So, things change. It’s all good.

    The post Ep. 43 | Practice Arising By Itself, Dharmageddon and Does the Curriculum Change With Age appeared first on Krishna Das.


    Special Edition Conversations With KD April 11, 2020 Jun 08, 2021
    Show notes

    Call and Response Special Edition – Conversations With KD April 11, 2020 Taking time to look back and move forward. Conversations With KD episodes are derived from the recordings of KD’s online events from his home during the 2020/ 2021 days of social distancing and quarantine from the onset of COVID and beyond. “It’s very difficult time. So, it’s a good time to be kind to yourself and allow what is to be for now. This is the moment you have. You don’t have any other moments. Now is what you have. 10 minutes from that will be now… What happens three years from now, you don’t know, but now is the time that you have to try to relax about all these issues that you have in your life and in your emotions, come to peace with them, greet them, get to know them. Stop judging yourself so harshly for feeling these things. Stop judging yourself harshly for not having what you think you should have. ‘Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I don’t have what it takes for this to happen for me.’ This would be a good time to let the sting of all those kinds of stories dissipate a little bit and don’t believe them so strongly every minute of every day. Right now, you can’t do much about anything. We’re stuck at home. We have our minds to deal with, and it’s our minds that all the suffering comes from; our minds, our emotions and our stuff.” – Krishna Das I’ve been traveling for 25 years, almost nonstop. Which of course I love to do, and I love to sing with people, but I can actually spend a whole day now without worrying what’s going in the suitcase. It’s amazing. Because usually I have to travel, and I’ll go through two or three different climates. Right? So, I take two suitcases and the harmonium, wherever I go. And if I never came back home again, I’d have everything I need for the rest of my life. Now, having all this space around me, I have time to clean my room. I’ve been cleaning for weeks. I haven’t made a dent. Well, what do you want to do? What do you want to talk about? You know, trying very hard to achieve some particular kind of state of consciousness or some kind of feeling that we think we’ll be able to hold onto, that’s not really the best, beset plan. What we need to really cultivate is the ability to live with whatever shows up in our, in our life in the moment. When I was younger, when I was, and I was in India with Maharajji and every day when we’d come out in the afternoon, he would come out to sit with us. I’d take a bath, cold water bucket bath, put on some clean clothes and come out and sit in front of him, and one day I laughed almost out loud because I saw that I was waiting for something to happen, you know? And I realized, every time I sang, every time I meditated, every time I did any kind of practice, there was a program running behind, like waiting for something, waiting for it to happen. And that moment, sitting with him, I laughed because I realized, wait a minute, it’s already happened. I’m here. And I realized I had this, this idea that liberation, freedom, Nirvana, ultimate bliss was, when I would get that, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be there when that was here. I wouldn’t be there. And I laughed because I recognize that that moment, there will not be billionth of a second that I will not be here, that you would not be here, but we get washed away and blown around by the winds of this and that, and the waves of this and that. And so, we don’t recognize that we’re always here. It would be like the ocean thinking that it’s a wave only and every time the wave crashes and tries to hold on to that wave and then it crashes and disappears or grabs onto another one. But the ocean is always there, regardless of how many waves come and go. Q: Hi everyone. My starts maybe with more of a statement and hopefully it’ll roll into a question, but I’m thinking a lot about the hanging out in the heart space. And I’ve been tuning into the YouTubes on Thursday nights and thinking about the importance of being with people that are sharing good thoughts and good intentions. And I heard someone say recently that this is a good time to be strong and separate yourself from others that are full of fear and full of anxiety. And I’m a teacher. And so, my colleagues and my students are full of fear and anxiety right now. And I feel that I’m starting to take that on. Trying not to, but how can I be in a, hanging out in the heart space with people and, and let my students know that it’s going to be okay, but at the same time, I can barely get myself through the zoom faculty meetings every Monday morning. I don’t know. Well, if you, if we would greet each moment with compassion and kindness for ourselves and others, we wouldn’t feel the need to protect ourselves. So, you you’re afraid of being hurt by what’s coming from what you think is the outside. But as you know, there really is no outside. We only experience it as an outside, but where do we experience it? Within ourselves. So, it’s our own knee jerk reactions, which are caused by our own attachments and our own fears and our own anxiety and all that stuff. It’s all that stuff that colors the outside world and makes us see it and experience it in a certain way. And when you’re you become kinder to yourself, one of the things you notice is how fucking hard it is to keep it together and to feel okay. And then you see, well, if it’s so hard for me, imagine people who probably don’t understand that there’s any way to deal with this stuff in a in a positive way that w that you can learn and grow from. So, those are the people, then naturally your heart will feel for them, and there’s nothing to protect them. There’s no fear. There’s no worry. You can’t, you know, people’s, people used to say things like I’m gonna, I’m gonna will myself into some state of mind. You know? What am I trying to say? I remember people saying to me, like, they were afraid of getting something from somebody else. Right? Like catching some kind of fear from somebody else. So, I said, wait a minute. All right. I want you to give me a headache now. Some on, give me a headache. You can’t. So, nor can you get a headache from anybody else? So, it’s just the fear. Right? So, the fear is within us, that’s our own stuff. And once again, there’s always reasons for that fear. It’s not necessarily what’s happening in the moment outside of us. It’s what buttons that stuff is pushing inside of us. So, this is the time to cultivate kindness, compassion, and ease of heart with our situation, as it is. Not try to change it, but to be with it in an open, relaxed way that allows people to be who they are, but you don’t have to buy their version of reality. Q: Right. Yeah. I’m thinking about letting go, too, in many ways, just in general. It’s not easy. Q: No. That’s why we do kirtan. That’s why the chanting, that’s the meditative aspect of the chanting. Q: Yeah. You’re singing, you see a lot of people chant and they think that they’re supposed to feel some particular thing like love, imagine that, you know, but that’s not how I, that’s not what it means to me. That’s not the way I do it. I sing. When I notice I’m not paying attention, I sing. And when I notice I’m not paying attention, I sing. And that clears away the clouds that are between myself and the sun of who I really am, which is all the things that I really want to be and feel, so to speak. So, if you’re busy trying to manipulate your emotions, you’ll never let go. Q: right. So, we’re training, we’re training for these moments, right? When we sit down for whatever 10, 15, 20 minutes or whatever, and we sing, or we meditate or we chant quietly or whatever, we’re practicing letting go. And that moment that we practiced continues through the day underneath the conscious level. So, when things come at us, there’s, now there’s other options in our awareness and our being to respond, other ways to respond. It’s just like an athlete who practices foul shooting. You know? They’ll take thousands of shots, thousands of shots working on the right position, working on the thing. What do I look at? What do I do? When it comes to game time? Boom. He shoots and he doesn’t think about it. There’s no thinking about it, but all the training that one did manifests in that moment. And that’s, that’s the deal. That’s why practice is so important because it’s the deal you make with yourself to not go, to try to pay attention and not go off with every thought forever, you know, but it’s not easy. And the minute, of course, the minute you sit down and try to do some practice, you, then you really see how much nonsense there is in our heads all the time. Q: Yes. But that’s a good thing. Q: Yes. And then you start thinking, Oh, I’m totally fucked up. I’ll never get this. Right. That’s just a thought, let it go. So, when in the non-practice session times of our life, we have those thoughts or we, we start believing those stories, there’s also a part of us that we’ve been training to release that belief in those negative stories. But we have to put the time in by ourselves in the practice time or with a group doing the same practice, like in the chanting. And then it’ll happen by itself the rest of the day. But you don’t notice that, because if you notice that you’d be, we’d be patting ourselves on the back and forgetting that we’re not, you know, it’s not about us in the first place. It’s about letting go. The funny thing is, you know, the spiritual path is not about “me” at all. It has nothing to do with, “I think, feel, taste, touch, want don’t want.” That’s all the stuff we let go of. And that actually allows a much for a much richer, deeper experience of life. Q: Thank you so much. Ok. One more thing, one more thing, the tail end of that is that, so the first step, for instance, when you’re in a meeting or you’re meeting with people who you feel are really cranked up in fear and stuff, so first you, you feel for them and you wish them well. This is a part of the loving kindness practice that Sharon Salzberg always teaches. The Metta meditation. Because then when you’re wishing them well, so they don’t feel so bad, you’re not thinking about how you feel at all. You’re freed of yourself, your little circle of me, me, me at that moment, and that plants seeds, as well, of being freed of that obsessive me stuff. That, those seeds will also grow it at a later time. So, the first thing is recognizing what’s in front of you, the fear and the, where a person’s coming from and the second one is wishing them well. And In the meditation practice, the formal Metta practice, there’s four different phrases that we offer to, we offer the universe or ourselves: may I be safe, May I be happy, May I be healthy, and may I live at ease of heart with whatever arises. So, you offer this to, you start off offering to yourself and then when you’re just about to have a total meltdown, they say, okay, now offer it to someone who’s always been on your side, always been your friend, always been there for you, regardless of how screwed up you were. And you start bringing that person to mind and you say, Oh, may you be safe, may you be happy. Oh, and then you’re floating, you know? Wow. Yeah. And then they say, okay, now come back to you. So, this is the practice. And it’s so hard to let ourselves be at ease. It’s so hard to be kind to ourselves because we grew up in a culture that, for the most part, is not kind. People are not trained to be kind to themselves. They’re trained to get as much as they can of anything they can hold on to, to grab a little pleasure and avoid pain. That’s how we grew up. That’s the whole world we grew up in. In the West, Western psychology and Western culture. S o, I was thinking about saying something else, but I don’t remember what it is, so, Hello. Q: I met you in Madison last year at just about this time, when you were at that gorgeous church, it was so beautiful. Yeah. Q: And I am the recipient of your last hug because you had to come to me cause I’m the wheelchair user. Right? So, my question, you know, my life has, so, I try to balance again, we’re talking about that internal heart space with the absolute chaos around us and, and find my place and find my footing. But my real question is, is it, is it my ego that wants to be pain-free, that wants to be able to get up and run and walk and participate in this life in a different way that my body won’t let me do right now? I know, it’s big. No, it’s not that big. Medium sized one, one medium sized ego. So, it’s all ego, sweetheart. Everything on this side is ego, but that doesn’t matter. We don’t care what it is. How do we live in a good way? So, you can’t stop the wind from blowing, so you might as well flow with it. When Ram Dass had his stroke, when he first had a stroke, he was lying in the hospital, paralyzed, unable to speak. And he was looking up at the ceiling cause he couldn’t move. He’s on his back. And he was thinking to himself, Where, where’s God? Where’s Maharajji? I was almost, I almost died. He said, I failed death. He said. Yeah? It’s supposed to like, have, you, know, Ram Ram going, going. He failed death. All he could think about was the pipes on the ceiling. So, and at that time he said, he used to think that Maharajji had given him that stroke. He used to say he was stroked, you know? And in fact, there was a whole movie made called “Fierce Grace” based on around us, his belief at that time that Maharajji had actually stroked him, had given him that stroke for his own benefit, to some degree. So, many years later, he finally went to India again for the last time, in the wheelchair. And he was with Siddhi Ma, Maharajji’s great devotee. And she said, Ram Dass, Maharajji did not give you the stroke. He would never do that. That could never happen. The stroke is your karma. What Maharajji gives you, and will, has given you, is the strength and the grace to overcome the results of your karma in this moment. And that’s a very big difference. So… and, Ram Dass’s beauty and strength and greatness was that he did overcome those, those shortcomings. He never, he didn’t focus on the physical pains. He had so much pain. He had diabetic neuropathy, which is like needles, and he had extraordinary physical suffering. He never mentioned it. He was able to overcome his pride of having to be helped to do anything. At some point, maybe 10, 12 years into the stroke, he had, he fell and had to have hip surgery, hip replacement, and then he fell again and ripped his rotator cuffs. So, he couldn’t do anything for himself anymore. He couldn’t turn himself in bed. He couldn’t do anything. He, everything had to be done for him. And he overcame the pride and he accepted help. And. He really blossomed. It was extraordinary. So, not just for you, but for all of us… Q: right. What we have in our life at this moment is what’s supposed to be there, whether, all right, whether it’s supposed to be there or not, but it’s there. So, there’s nothing to say about it. So, but that’s the first step is recognizing, okay, this is, this is the given. Now what? Am I going to let it run me? Or am I going to deal with this? You know, someone wants to ask his holiness, the Dalai Lama, are you happy? And he said, well, I guess you could say I had a hard life. I was taken from my parents, like at the age of three, then I had to take the reins of my country at like 13. And then I had to escape while the Chinese invaded and killed millions and millions and millions of my people. He said the Chinese have taken everything. The Chinese government, Q: yes. Taken everything from me. Am I going to let them take my happiness? Happiness, peace, calmness, openness, compassion, kindness: This is our true nature. Q: Yeah. Let’s not let Our own actions of from the past, our own Karmas ruin this moment. We can overcome all that, but that’s where the work starts. That’s what it’s about. That’s why we calm our minds. That’s why we plant the seeds of the…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Special Edition Conversations With KD April 09, 2020 Apr 20, 2021
    Show notes

    Call and Response Special Edition – Conversations With KD April 09, 2020 Taking time to look back and move forward. Conversations With KD episodes are derived from the recordings of KD’s online events from his home during the 2020/ 2021 days of social distancing and quarantine from the onset of COVID and beyond. “One has to set boundaries. They have to be healthy boundaries and we’re not really trained to do that. We’re not really trained. We’re not trained, as children, to have healthy boundaries. Our parents tend to step all over our boundaries and not respect us. We’re trained to do that in life. So, it’s very difficult. So, when we talk about letting go, let’s first talk about it as practice. So, while we’re actually doing the meditation practice, while we’re chanting, that’s when we train ourselves to let go, because we’ve added the mantra into our consciousness and we’ve agreed that we’re going to try to pay attention to that. So that helps us be aware when we’re lost in thought. When we become aware that we’ve been gone, we’re actually already back. We come back to the mantra again. The rest of the day we try to be kind and compassionate and good to ourselves as well by setting healthy boundaries.” – Krishna Das Satsang is so important. You know, Buddha asked one of His disciples, I think it was Ananda, once, “Ananda, what’s the most important thing in spiritual life?” And I think Ananda answered to Him, you know, “You are. The Buddha. Without you there’s no life at all.” Buddha said, “No, Ananda. Satsang or Sangha is the most important thing. The community of seekers.” The community of Beings who have gone to the other shore, so to speak, and yet remained here for us so that we would know what’s possible, so we would get a taste. And then the group of us who are trying to find where our asses are actually meeting the ground. So, company is very important. The company you keep is very important. And, it’s something that one has to keep paying attention to in life, no matter how far along you might think you are. One time, in Allahabad at Dada’s house, who was a great old devotee of Maharajji, I guess I was reverencing him a little too much, you know. So, at one point, he stopped and looked at me. He said, “Krishna Das, I may be a step or two ahead of you and you may be a step or two of someone else,” he said, “but we’re all on this shore. We’re all on this side of the ocean of samsara, this side of the world. Only He’s gone beyond. Only Maharajji has gone beyond.” So, what does it matter? You know? One has to live in one’s heart as best as one can and try not to take everything so personally. We all take everything so personally, as if it was aimed at us. But really, if we really look, we see that what we thought might be aimed at us or even caused by us in some way or degree, is really just someone’s suffering bursting out of them in all directions. It’s another person’s unhappiness, anxiety, fears, shame. Something motivating, creating that anger or that nastiness that happens in life. But we take it all so personally so it’s very hard to release it, you know? Very hard to release it. Very hard. And especially when we’re locked up like this with people, even that we love. Things get antsy every once in a while. So, we just have to keep letting go. That’s the whole thing. Letting go, letting go, letting go. Letting go allows us to be the best people we can be. It doesn’t mean “not engaging.” It means being able to really engage. Letting go of our subjective bullshit, our completely personal subjective version of reality. When we chant, we’re training ourselves to keep coming back to the sound of the Name, the sound of the Name. Let me see if I have something here that I want to read to you. “When a mantra is repeated, if one watches the source from which the mantra sound is produced, the mind is absorbed in That.” So as you listen to the sound of your own voice, of the people who you’re singing with, as you listen to that sound, your attention, your mind is moved in that direction to where that sound has come from. Now, we so, “Well, I’m making that sound.” Yes, we’re making that sound with our voices, but before we did that, we had the intention to make that sound in our minds. We had the desire to chant, the intention to chant. Where did that intention come from? What part of us did that intention to sing and do the practice actually come from in the first place? So, that is a creation of our own karmas and grace, both together. One time I asked Siddhi Ma, who was Maharajji’s great disciple. See, in the old days, Maharajji had said, He used to tease us. He said, he said, “I have the keys to the mind.” He said, “You know, I could turn your minds against me.” And we went, “No, Baba, don’t do that.” And He’d laugh. He was just playing, you know. He loved it. “I could turn your minds against me. You know, you’d wake up in the morning and say, ‘What am I doing here? I’m going to go back to America.’” And we said, “Don’t do that, Baba. Don’t do that.” And He’d just laugh. But He said, “I have the keys to the mind.” So, at one point, many many years later, I said to Ma, I said, “Ma, Maharajji said He has the keys to the mind. So, for me, that means that, in my mind, my head is exactly where He wants it to be, whatever that means from His side. That I am where He wants me to be in life and my consciousness is where He wants it to be.” So, I said, “Ma, does that mean it’s all grace? Or is personal effort required?” A lot of people wonder about this and I was wondering. So, She said to me, “Krishna Das, it’s all grace but you have to act like it isn’t.” It’s all grace. Done deal. Nothing ever happened. Nothing’s going to happen. All this is a done deal. But, we don’t know that. We don’t understand that, experience that in the deepest reality. In Buddhism, they talk about Ultimate Reality and Relative Reality. Ultimate Reality, again, is that, you know, it’s all done, there’s no one here in the first place. Relative reality is that, if you step out into traffic, you’re going to get hit by a car. So, there’s different rules involved in those two. They each have a set of behavior. Relative reality, you have to pay attention to that. You have to do the right thing. You have to, your morality has to be pure. Your intentions have to be good. You have to develop compassion, kindness, caring for people. Ultimate reality is seeing through all the delusions and illusions and seeing that it’s all perfect. But that’s not a mental construct. That’s something that’s experienced directly, very deeply and you can’t make that up with your own mind. That has to come from within through practice and grace. Ok, so maybe there’s some questions? Q: How do I choose what to sing? KD: I open my mouth, there it is. I have no idea. There’s no thought process, really. Sometimes I start to play a chord and my mind is completely blank. So, I just wait to see what’s going to come in. I have no idea. No idea at all. Q: What’s the best way to build community? And talk about surrender in spiritual practice. KD: Well, it just so happens, that first quote I gave was from Ramana Maharshi, who was extraordinary. Everything He says is so amazing and so right on. And there’s a funny story. Not funny, but a beautiful story. Ramana Maharshi, I think He left the body in ’51 or ’52. I could be wrong, but I think it was that, and Maharajji was up in the mountains in India and in the middle of the night, He pulled His blanket over His face, over His head and He started weeping and weeping and the devotees said, “Baba, what’s wrong? What is it? What is it? What’s wrong?” “He’s leaving. He’s leaving. He’s in so much pain. India is losing such a saint, such a saint, oh…” and tears were coming. He said, “Bring me water, bring me water. He’s so thirsty. He’s so thirsty.” So, they brought Him some water. He sipped some water from a spoon and He was just weeping. “India is losing such a saint.” And it was just at that time that Ramana Maharshi was leaving the body, down below Chennai, down in the South. So, this is from Ramana Maharshi. “Surrender to Him (or Her) and abide by His will. Whether He appears or vanishes, await His pleasure. If you ask Him to do as you please, it is not surrender but a command to Him. You can not have Him obey you and yet think that you have surrendered. He knows what is best and when and how to do it. Leave everything to Him. His is the burden. You no longer have any cares. All your cares are His. Such is surrender. This is bhakti or devotion.” I don’t know how you feel about that. Maybe it’s hard for Westerners to really think about things that way, but at the point of life that an I’m at, this point at this time, surrender is the only option that makes any sense to me at all and that means letting go of my stuff. Somebody gets to me. Somebody’s nasty to me. I get a whole trip going on. Let it go. Don’t even try to understand it. Just find a way to let it go. Let it go. Release it. Release it. Something doesn’t happen. Somebody’s sick. Somebody worried you. Something, you need something. Just let it go. The ego can not understand these things. Ego can not make anything better. It can only make itself bigger and more worried and more desire and more shame and more disappointment and more betrayal and more yada yada. So, let go. You can’t have Him obey you. You can’t say to God, you know, “Do this! I want to feel this way. I want this experience. I want this to happen. I want blah blah blah.” You can’t have Him obey you and yet, think you surrendered. Surrender is something that happens through grace within us. We don’t surrender. The ego does not surrender. Another thing Ramana Maharshi said is, “asking the mind or the ego to kill the mind or transcend itself is like asking the thief to be the policeman. There will be a lot of investigation, but no arrest will ever be made.” So, you can’t think yourself into this stuff. You can’t. It’s not an intellectual exercise. Every thought is the prison. Every thought is the, you’re identifying with all these thoughts and every thought that arises, that we identify with: that is the prison. We can’t think ourselves out of a prison made of thought. We have to let them go again and again and again. So… Q: I think, “how do you know the difference between letting go and avoiding?” I think that’s what that is. The difference between letting go and not setting boundaries? KD: One has to set boundaries. That’s this world. Relative reality. One has to set boundaries. One has to pay attention to what’s good for one in one’s best understanding. One has to learn how to feed one’s self what one needs to eat. One has to set boundaries. They have to be healthy boundaries and we’re not really trained to do that. We’re not really trained. We’re not trained, as children, to have healthy boundaries. Our parents tend to step all over our boundaries and not respect us. We’re trained to do that in life. So, it’s very difficult. So, when we talk about letting go, let’s first talk about it as practice. So, while we’re actually doing the meditation practice, while we’re chanting, that’s when we train ourselves to let go, because we’ve added the mantra into our consciousness, and we’ve agreed that we’re going to try to pay attention to that. So that helps us be aware when we’re lost in thought. When we become aware that we’ve been gone, we’re actually already back. We come back to the mantra again. The rest of the day we try to be kind and compassionate and good to ourselves as well by setting healthy boundaries. But it’s a little different than when you’re sitting down to do practice. That’s when you’re really making the training. So, for instance, if you’re an athlete, when you’re practicing, you’re doing exercises, particular things, you’re trying things over, but when you’re in the game, all the work that you put in, in practice, comes out naturally. You don’t have to think about it. So, that’s how it works. Q: What is the point of all this if nothing ever existed? KD: Well, I think it exists, doesn’t it? And so do you. That’s why it exists. Ultimate reality and relative reality exist at the same time. Relative reality is within the Oneness. The Oneness is not in the relative reality. That’s why you can’t make this up in your brain, in your mind. Relative reality is the way we see the world. Who asked that question? That’s the person that sees relative reality. That’s the person that is made up of relative reality. So, that’s what I said before. Ultimate reality is something that you become aware of from within and then you might see, like, the consciousness expands like the sky and you see the clouds. You see the people. You see everything. But, it’s all, you’re also aware of the presence in which everything is held. The Beingness. The space, so to speak. In which everything exists and that’s essentially ultimate reality, or some description of it. So, when you’re aware of that, you still have to stop at the red light. Otherwise, you get hit by a car. So, there’s no use saying it doesn’t exist. When I said that, I just meant in ultimate reality this looks different. So, let’s leave it at that. Whether it exists or it doesn’t exist is a philosophical discussion, but when you’re aware of ultimate reality, when you live in the Oneness, when you’ve become that, merged into that Being of which we are all apart already, this world looks different. Our daily life is different. We see ourselves differently. Very differently. This is something that has to come from within. Q: Why is it important not to change the mantra from tradition when we sing it? KD: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know what that means. I just sing whatever I want. Whatever I feel to sing from my heart. That’s what Maharajji taught me to do. That’s how He taught me to live, to trust my own heart. That took a lot of work, to begin to even do that. So, I don’t even know what you mean about… I sing mantras from all traditions, and I sing them in the same clothes I’m wearing right now. I don’t change anything. I have the same devotion to all those mantras as well. It’s just us folks here. Q: Can drinking alcohol affect practice? KD: Intoxicants are intoxicants. They dull the mind and they destroy our will and our ability to pay attention and concentrate and they, we think that we’re having a great experience and then we wake up in the morning and we don’t remember nothing. So, absolutely. All intoxicants, unless you know how to use them, like Maharajji once said to us, “If charas, if smoking hash would bring you to God, we’d get a room, we’d fill it up with charas, hash and we’ll sit in there and we’ll all smoke together.” He said, “But you can’t smoke charas, hash unless you can, unless you’re like shiva who can swallow the poison and transmute it into bliss.” He said smoking hash will destroy your health and it makes you think that you’re hanging out with your good brothers and sisters but its not real. But, on the other hand, about LSD, He said, “The yogi medicine,” which is what He called it, “can bring you into the room with Christ but you can’t stay. The only way to stay,” He said, “Is love.” So, at some point, I stopped doing all those things because I felt, even though I was getting shot up into these beautiful spaces, I was always coming down and I felt that if I stopped going up like that and crashing down that the level of my consciousness would gradually rise by itself without all the up and downs. Q: How do you control anger? KD: I wish I knew. I don’t think you can control it. It eats you up. By the time you get angry, you’re finished. All you can do is ride the wave until you crash. You could just try to let go, you can, you know, but usually it’s so immediate. Anger really is a very destructive emotion, and not just for what happens between you and another person, but it destroys so much of your inner ba…

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    Special Edition Conversations With KD April 02, 2020 Apr 16, 2021
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    Call and Response Special Edition – Conversations With KD April 02, 2020 Taking time to look back and move forward. Conversations With KD episodes are derived from the recordings of KD’s online events from his home during the 2020/ 2021 days of social distancing and quarantine from the onset of COVID and beyond. “You know, all this craziness in the world is our doing. Nobody else is doing this. It’s us. We human beings are doing this. All of us. So, we human beings can change it. But not everybody believes that. Not everybody believes that there’s a better way to live. Most people live in fear, shame, guilt and selfishness and greed. And that’s what drives us and when we’re in that mode, it’s us and them and we’ll do anything we have to to protect ourselves and our small circle of people. That’s the kind of thinking that kind of has to go. It has to loosen up a little. Will it happen? I don’t know. I hope so. “ – Krishna Das It’s amazing how connected I feel these days. Every time I turn my computer on, there’s forty people checking in or putting up something online. It’s really amazing. All my Lamas from, living in Nepal, they’re online today and every day there’s teachings, so many teachings available, it’s incredible. So, really plug into those if you’re home, instead of sitting around worrying and panicking. It’s wonderful to get these teachings from these wonderful Beings, these Great Beings. It’s extraordinary. So, we’re here. The same place. The next week. And next week. And next week. And next week. The chanting is so important to overcome the habits of thought, the way we, we shutter ourself inside this dark, this dark room that we call ourselves, our emotions. It’s just, we’re brought up that way. Our parents were that way. Our grandparents were that way. It’s very rare that we meet people in our growing-up phase that are at all really plugged into something really deep, you know? It happens. But so, it’s extraordinary. You know when I was first getting interested in this stuff, there were like three books on yoga and meditation. There wasn’t, I don’t even think there was any yoga studios anywhere. Maybe a few people teaching yoga here and there. So, now so much is available and we need it, as you know. We need it and it’s there. So, use this time to get deeper into your own being and to open your heart and let go of fear and embrace feeling, wishing this world and everybody in it, well. Breaking down the barriers that we have: shame and fear and sadness and betrayal and broken hearts and all that stuff. We’ve got to get over that stuff. We’ve got to digest it. You can’t push it away but we’ve got to digest it and use it as fuel, as food to move on into a deeper, a deeper love. And the chanting, it’s just so powerful, too, because either you’re paying attention or you’re not. It becomes very obvious to you. So, every time you’re not, you keep coming back. And little by little, there’s a, you know, when you drive towards the ocean, like out in L.A., on the Pacific Palisades and you’re driving towards the ocean and the windows were open in the car and I went, “Oh… I smell the ocean.” Just then there’s a street, what was it called? I forget, but it was like, you could, that street was where you could smell the ocean and then you know you’re moving in the right direction. So, as we do these practices, as we chant and meditate, pray and do whatever we do, we touch that place where we can, we can taste it just a little bit. We can smell that fragrance of sweetness just a little bit. You can’t hold onto it. But you cultivate it through your practice. So, let me see, there’s some questions here. Q: How does Ram Das come to me now? You know, I can’t even say it’s a memory. It’s not a memory at all. It’s a living presence. He’s so, he’s such a natural part of me. We bonded so deeply towards the end and especially in these last years, but especially in the last couple of years. I feel like he’s always around and just smiling. Where’s that picture? I love this picture. This was our, this was a picture of us. Can you see it? That’s how we were at the end, like two crazy little kids. You know? Just having fun in our hearts. It was really, really deep. Really deep. We’ve been through tons of shit together over the years and all that was left was this real joy in each other’s presence. Q: How many times do I chant? I don’t know. I don’t count. I chant and then I stop chanting. I don’t know how long. You just do what you can. You don’t have to memorize things. You can read them. You can chant them as you go. Read them as you chant. You don’t have to memorize the Chalisa. You’re not preparing for an exam. So, read it, sing it, read it. You don’t have to try to memorize it. It’ll come to you. Do it a few million times. You’ll remember it. No problem. Q: Can I talk about staying strong and courageous in these times? Well, what are the options? What are your options? You know, many years ago I was in, me and a friend of mine had trailed Maharajji down to Bombay. They called it “Bombay” in those days. And we actually found Him. I mean, it was crazy that we found Him. But we did. And, long story, but anyhow, so one day we were in this building, an apartment building with Him in someone’s apartment, and He was lying on the bed in the back of the room and I was sitting on the floor next to Him, just doing my practice, which is staring at Him. And there was an Indian guy there, an Indian devotee and many hours had gone by. Maharajji was just lying on the bed. He’d sit up. He’d lie down. He’d sit up. He’d lie down. Then all of a sudden, with great intensity, He sits up and He looks at me and He said, “Courage is a really big thing.” Now, the Indian devotee said, “Oh, Baba, God takes care of His devotees.” Maharajji just shot Him a glance like that and He said to me again, “Courage is a really big thing.” It is. It’s a big thing. We need courage. We need courage not to, not to give up. Because life goes on. Everything’s going to go on whether you’re there with it or not. It’s best to try to stay with it as best you can. Don’t give in to fear. Don’t give in to too much worry. And do what you can to overcome that. It’s not courage for nothing. It’s for courage for the sake of your own heart and the hearts of those around us. It’s not like courage in battle and you’re going to go kill people. The battle is, you’re going to kill your own limitations. You’re going to kill and conquer the things that drag us down, that prevent us from allowing our hearts to be open and wide and prevent us from being who we really can be in this world. So, courage is very important. You just have to talk yourself down, you know? I mean, even Hanuman had to talk Himself down in a slightly different way. One time, Hanuman was, He’d jumped over to Lanka to try to find Sita who had been kidnapped by Ravana and Lanka was His Kingdom. And He had to go all through the kingdom looking for her. So, at one point, looking in, and he came across Ravana’s harem. And He looks down, and Hanuman was not, He was brahmachari. He was celibate and He was looking at all these naked women in various degrees of undress and He stopped and went, “Oh my God, I’ve sinned.” You know? “I’ve done something wrong. I’ve looked at these women.” And He started to have a meltdown. If monkeys can melt down, He was having a monkey meltdown, and then He says to Himself, “Now, wait a minute. I didn’t do this of my own volition. I did this in the service to Ram to try to find Sita. This was not, there was nothing in this of ‘me’. This was all to serve Ram. So, there’s nothing for me to worry about.” You know? And then He went on His way. But He was having a meltdown. He had to talk Himself down. Sometimes, we just have to talk ourselves down. Like, “Let go of this. Let go of this. You’ll deal with it some other time. Just let go of it now. Chill.” Sometimes you just have to do that. And of course, the things that help us do that is our regular practice. Regular connecting again and again coming back home to our hearts. When I Chant The Chalisa, it feels very mechanistic and lacks joy, love and all the sweetness that it once did. What gives? What’s the fix for this? Should I move on and cultivate other practices? Sweetheart, my friend, it’s not the practice. It’s you. It’s not the practice. It’s us. At the beginning, we had an excitement. “Here we are. We’re singing the Chalisa. Oh, it’s so great, I’m in so much love.” But that superficial excitement passes. Of course. It has to. Then you get down to the nitty gritty of seeing your own mind and the bullshit that’s going on all the time in our heads. But you still practice. You just do your best to pay attention. The Hanuman Chalisa is a mantra. Maharajji said every line is Mahamantra. So, Mahamantra is Mahamantra. Do it. Give yourself to it as best you can. It’s only our own stuff that keeps us separate. I have the same thing. That happens. You think I’m in total bliss all the time? I’m singing and floating off the ground? I don’t think so. You keep doing. You keep doing. You keep doing. In this case, the way you asked that question, the answer is, “Just keep doing.” And notice your emotions. Notice the inability you have to give yourself to it. Just keep noticing. Let go and come back. Noticing. Let go and come back. That’s the deal. You don’t have to manufacture some kind of feeling. What happened at first wasn’t, it’s not the real thing. It’s only a temporary little hit. The real thing is always here and that’s why doing the Chalisa will uncover within us. All these practices do the same thing like that. So, keep chanting. Q: If were Baba were here physically in the same form that I knew Him in, do you think He’d still live in Kainchi? No. I don’t think so. He might be here in the same form that I knew Him in, but He’s not in Kainchi as far as I can tell. He’s not anywhere that I know. When we start talking about Maharajji, it’s like stepping, it’s like diving into a pool. We don’t know how deep it is. We’re trying to get to the bottom but we don’t know how to and we never can find the bottom. There are so many stories about Him, so many stories about Him. There’s no way to know. You know, these great Beings, this world is a dream. This body is a dream. And you’ve heard about conscious dreaming, right? Which is the ability to enter into your dreams consciously at night and then you can do all kinds of things in your dreams that you can’t do in a physical body. So, in some way, for the Great Beings, this world is their dream. If Maharajji wants to have three bodies, He can have three bodies. In fact, Tiwari told me a story. There was a new temple being inaugurated in Delhi, just outside of Delhi and Maharajji was asked to come and bless the inauguration, but He said He wasn’t going to come. And He was way up in the mountains, maybe twelve, fourteen hour car ride from Delhi, way up in the mountains with Tiwari and other devotees at this house. Way up. And at about, I think it was about like 11 o’clock in the morning, Maharajji says to Tiwari, “Let’s go, let’s take a walk.” So, they walked out on this ridge, which is one of these, like, the Himalayas are kind of right there, you know, like a few ridges away. And He says to Tiwari, “Sit down and meditate.” So, Tiwari sat down facing the Himalays, closes His eyes. Boom. He’s gone. So finally Maharajji hits him. “Let’s go let’s go let’s go. Come. I have work to do. Let’s go.” So, they walked back to the house and then they spent the rest of the day. The next day, a car arrives from Delhi and it’s the people who, the trust, the temple trust. They came into the house and they said, “We wanted, Maharajji left before taking prasad. So we’ve come from Delhi to bring the food for Him, the prasad from the temple.” And the house owner says to him, “What do you mean ‘he left?’” And they said, “Well, He was there in the morning, but then just around 11, He was there around 11 and then we went to get Him food and He disappeared.” And the householder said, “What nonsense you’re talking. He was here all day. Here in the house. What are you talking about?” And the people from Delhi just looked around and they saw Tiwari sitting there in the living room and they said, “Look, and he was there, too.” So, Maharajji had gone to Delhi and taken Tiwari with Him while they were both here in the mountains. So, what can be said? What can be said? But I doubt He’d be in Kainchi. Q: Do I think that after COVID-19 blows over, if it blows over the way we hope it will, as a society we’ll see there’s more to life than money and consumerism? There is? Or will things go back to the way they were? Well, one would hope that at least the people who had the karmas to wake up, did; will wake up and manifest more strongly in the world for sure. This is a very powerful time. People don’t wake up without difficulties. When you have difficulties, you have to overcome them. And that’s when people start to pay attention. Maharajji used to say, “I love suffering. Suffering makes me remember God.” So, yes. I think that maybe there will be, the people who are ripe enough and have been, whose karmas allowed them to ripen even more at this time will be more active in the world and help and be more open and more, more helpful in making good things happen. But you know, we’ll see. One can only hope and do what one can. You know, all this craziness in the world is our doing. Nobody else is doing this. It’s us. We human beings are doing this. All of us. So, we human beings can change it. But not everybody believes that. Not everybody believes that there’s a better way to live. Most people live in fear, shame, guilt and selfishness and greed. And that’s what drives us and when we’re in that mode, it’s us and them and we’ll do anything we have to to protect ourselves and our small circle of people. That’s the kind of thinking that kind of has to go. It has to loosen up a little. Will it happen? I don’t know. I hope so. I hope so. Q: Maharajji gave me darshan in a dream. Am I imagining it? Playing a trick? Or was it real? How do I know? Well, they say that we can not create the form of a Saint, a real Saint with our own minds. That if we see a Saint in a dream, they have come to see us. They have given us darshan. That’s what they believe, or what’s believed. So, I think that feels right to me. We can’t conjure up that form in our mind. We can when we’re awake. We can visualize. But when we fall asleep, we don’t have that will to visualize, so if we have that darshan, see a Saint or a Yogi in our dreams, it means they’ve probably come to see us. In most cases, I think that would be true. Q: What is Maharajji’s big form? You know, Dada, who was a great devotee of Maharajji’s, he used to say Maharajji had two blankets. He had an outer blanket to hide his physical body from us because, Dada used to see Him with sores that would manifest and then go away. All kinds of things going on as He was taking karma on and eating people’s karmas up, burning it off on His own body. But Dada also said He had an inner blanket that hid His true being from us because we could not handle it, we could not, it would burn our circuits up. So, Maharajji’s big form is the Big Form, the Universal Form. He is One with God. He has become the Universe. And like Krishna shows Arjuna His Universal Form, the whole Universe, everything within Him, this is Maharajji’s Big Form as well. Outside of that huge, vast Being, Being-ness, Presence, there can be nothing outside of That. Everything exists within that Presence. Just like the clouds float through the sky, the birds fly, the pollution pollutes, the wind blows, all inside of this vast sky. Q: How would you find a Guru in Staten Island? I don’t know. There might not be. They might be all over the place. Everybody might be a Guru in Staten Island. Some of the Lamas I referred to at the beginning: Tsoknyi Rinpoch…

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    Ep. 42 | Only Jesus Died the Real Death Dec 12, 2020
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    Call and Response Ep. 42 Only Jesus Died the Real Death Question: He, so the thing that kind of like I had an epiphany about was He never died, the part about Jesus, you know, “I never died.” I had that experience with Jesus, when He said, “I never died.” Could you say a little bit more about somebody who never died, and that whole idea? “States of mind have their own qualities. Now, heaven is a state of mind. It’s not a place that you go to. Where are you going to go? How are you going to get there? Right? So, it’s a state of mind. When you’re in it, it’s eternal. That’s why it feels like heaven. “It will always be like this.” Pleasure, beautiful pleasure, unending pleasure, the world of the Gods. Heaven. The lower Gods. The devatas. Indra and the whole posse. But then there’s also hell, which they also say is eternal. But it’s not like it lasts forever. It only lasts as long as your karma puts you there. And when you’re there, it feels eternal. That’s why it feels so bad. It’s always going to be like this. It’s like our normal depression states. We think they’re going to last forever, but then they’re gone after ten or fifteen years. Or until we meet somebody else that knows how to push the right buttons. So, He lost himself in love. That’s how Maharajji said Jesus meditated. He didn’t watch His breath. He didn’t stand on one toe. He lost Himself in love. He immersed Himself fully in the love that surrounds us all the time. That lives within us. That’s who we really are.” – Krishna Das Q: Namaste, beloved. It’s Karuna. KD: Hold on, louder please. Just want to get the sound right. Q: This question has to do with your Guru, Maharajji and the story that you shared at another workshop. It has to do with somebody who came in, a Canadian who came in and ask Maharajji how to meditate. And Maharajji said, “Meditate like Jesus.” And then, the Canadian asked, how would he meditate like Jesus. And then Maharajji closed His eyes, almost as if He went to ask Jesus how He meditate, and a tear, you said a tear came out of His eyes and Maharajji said, “He’s lost in love. He never died.” KD: He loved everyone. Q: yeah. So, He, so the thing that kind of like I had an epiphany about was He never died, the part about Jesus, you know, “I never died.” I had that experience with Jesus, when He said, “I never died.” Could you say a little bit more about somebody who never died, and that whole idea?KD: Everyone in a body, dies. The bodies die. But the Being doesn’t die. The real Being doesn’t die. Jesus left His body, but He never died. There’s a difference. You don’t think you’re think you’re the body, do you? I didn’t think so. In that case, you have nothing to worry about. You won’t die. But you will watch the body go. Because that’s inevitable. One time, Maharajji said, “I’m really old.” I’m like, what? You know? What does He mean by that? You know? And there’s stories about, for instance, one time, we were in Allahabad at one of the devotees’ houses. His name was Dada, which is also funny because Maharajji called him “Dada,” and “Dada” means “elder brother” and then Maharajji insisted that Dada’s wife call him “Dada.” And she said, “He’s not my elder brother.” Maharajji said, “If he’s my Dada, he’s your Dada.” So, she had to call him “Dada.” So, we were singing to Maharajji in the room, in the big room, just singing Sri Ram and He was sitting on the cot, the tucket, they call it. And these two young Indian men came in and sat down in the back of the room. Maharajji saw them and He immediately sent them away. He said, “Go, go, go bring the old lady. Go on, go.” So they left. They came back later and, with a very old woman, and they sat down in the back of the room. The minute they came in, Maharajji got up and He went into His bedroom and He called for them to come in and the old lady’s looking at maharajji and she said, “Baba, how could this be? How could you be here.” And Maharajji’s saying, “Ma, shut up. Shut up. Jap. Jap.” But she couldn’t stop. She was like, “Baba, I don’t understand. How could this be? How could you be here?” “Jap.” She just couldn’t. So finally He said, “Ma, I died and was reborn in the hills. Now be quiet.” And then He gave them prasad and sent them away. So, Dada, who was like the FBI, went running around and caught them at the front door and he said, “What’s the story?” So, here’s the story. So, that morning, these two young men were coming into Allahabad from a village outside of Allahabad. They had heard that Neem Karoli Baba was around and they knew that their grandmother liked Saints. One of them’s grandmother, was a grandmother, grandson, or nephew or something. And they knew that she liked Saints. So, they stopped at her house and they said, “Would you like… we’re going to see Neem Karoli Baba, do you want to come?” And she said, “Neem Karoli Baba? What are you talking about? He was my grandfather’s Guru. I used to sit on His lap when I was 8 years old when I was a kid. He’s long gone, this must be some imposter.” Then they came. Then she didn’t come. So, the two boys came and they were sent home by Maharajji to get the old lady. So, and she said to Dada, she said, “I don’t understand how it could be. He looks exactly the same as when I was eight years old. But I don’t remember the blanket.” That’s the only thing, because Maharajji always wore a blanket. “I don’t remember the blanket.” So, you tell me. Even if He died and was reborn consciously, how could He look exactly the same? These guys can do whatever they want. They can do whatever they want. They know. They are living in this dream, consciously aware. When you’re dreaming at night, you think it’s real in the dream, right? You’re walking down the street. “Yeah, I’m walking down the street.” You think it’s, that’s reality in the dream. You don’t know anything else except what’s happening. When you wake up, you recognize it’s a dream. But these great Beings do not fall asleep through the different states of consciousness. They’re fully aware. So, they can create anything they want in the dream. He could show up right here and sit on stage, just like he looked, anytime, because He’s aware that this is also a dream. We think this is real. But when we’re sleeping and dreaming, we think that’s real. So, there are Beings who are more awake than we are, who know that this is also a dream. And what does that mean? Well, I don’t really know, but, for instance, right now, I’m sitting here, looking out at you all. Do I know you? No. But, unconsciously, I’m telling myself a story about who you are. I see you, you’re kind of slouched in the chair and relaxed. That’s nice. You’re standing up straight, looking like you know what you’re doing. You know? Other people have got their hair this way. Other people are wearing this. Immediately, I’ve got a whole version of life. It’s my subjective version, based on all my stuff and guess what? You’re doing the same thing. We’re all playing each other’s parts in our movie. All of us. All the time. That’s why, that’s why spiritual practice works. Because It shows us, little by little, how subjective we are. You know, it’s very simple, like for instance, you might work in an office where there’s some guy who walks around cranky all the time and never talks to you, and you, you know, you start to develop a story around that. “Why doesn’t he like me? What did I ever do to him? He’s a nasty guy” And you’ve got this whole thing going. Then you find out he has terminal brain cancer. And that it wasn’t about you at all. But you acted like it was. Until you found out the truth. So, when we find out the truth, things will look a little different. So… and we won’t be caught in our knee jerk reactions about everything that happens to us. We’ll get a vote. Like, for me, when I drive now, when I remember, I try to see all the other drivers in the road as His Holiness the Dalai Lama. “Son of a… Oh, His Holiness, Thank you for cutting me off like that. I appreciate it. You’ve shown me my craziness, I appreciate that teaching. Thank you. Yes. Ok.” You know? I try, you can’t be angry at His Holiness, so I try to see everybody as the Dalai Lama and that makes life interesting. So, as far as that story goes, that’s what He meant. But, the real thing about that story was, for instance, I had all kinds of ideas about meditation and spiritual practice and what I have to do and what I wanted to accomplish and how this, I was going to be a great yogi and I need… and we were always trying to get Maharajji to give us some practice to do, you know? Like, come on. “Give us a mantra” you know? “Give us the secret meditation teaching.” So, when He said we should meditate like Christ, you know, it was Ram Das later in the day that asked Maharajji, well, “You said we should meditate like Christ. Well, how did He meditate?” And then He closed His eyes. He wasn’t asking Jesus. He knows exactly what Jesus thought, felt and who He is and who He was because they’re all One like we are but we don’t know. So, He just closed His eyes and then two tears came down His cheek, you know? And He just said, “He lost Himself in love. He lost Himself in love. That’s how He meditated. He’s one with all beings. No one understands, He never died.” This is a Catholic school, I think. It’s obviously and I don’t know shit about it. I’ll pay for that, but what the fuck. That was the thing, when I got to India and I met Beings, great Beings, I realized “This is what Jesus is, this is who He is, this is what it was all about.” And then I realized, “Jesus, what did He have to do with Christianity?” He let 100 years, before that Jewish guy had a vision and created all this bullshit. Well, ok. Religion, organized religion, doesn’t have much to do with God. Ask Sinead O’Connor. She feels the same way. It’s just organization. Mind control. Emotional control. Manipulation. “Do this” and you’ll go to heaven. Yeah, right. As if heaven was eternal. See, states of mind have their own qualities. Now, heaven is a state of mind. It’s not a place that you go to. Where are you going to go? How are you going to get there? Right? So, it’s a state of mind. When you’re in it, it’s eternal. That’s why it feels like heaven. “It will always be like this.” Pleasure, beautiful pleasure, unending pleasure, the world of the Gods. Heaven. The lower Gods. The devatas. Indra and the whole posse. But then there’s also hell, which they also say is eternal. But it’s not like it lasts forever. It only lasts as long as your karma puts you there. And when you’re there, it feels eternal. That’s why it feels so bad. It’s always going to be like this. It’s like our normal depression states. We think they’re going to last forever, but then they’re gone after ten or fifteen years. Or until we meet somebody else that knows how to push the right buttons. So, He lost himself in love. That’s how Maharajji said Jesus meditated. He didn’t watch His breath. He didn’t stand on one toe. He lost Himself in love. He immersed Himself fully in the love that surrounds us all the time. That lives within us. That’s who we really are. So, now that makes sense to me. There’s so many stories about Maharajji. You know, He used to talk sometimes about these, “Oh, there’s a Saint that lives there and He’s a really good saint and He feeds people and this and that, you know, and there’s another Saint that lives over there.” So, after Maharajji left the body, His greatest devotee, Siddhi Ma, they took off on a pilgrimage and they went to these places, two or three of these places that Maharajji used to talk about, and they get there and they asked to see this Saint and they said, “Oh, He just left the body.” And then they’d describe. “Well, tell us about Him.” And they described Maharajji to a ‘t’. So, it was like He was living in three or four places at the same time. And because, you know, He used to say to us, “I have the keys to the mind. I can turn your minds against me.” “No Baba! Don’t do that!” He’d laugh. Can you imagine waking up one day, you’ve been in India, you know, you wake up one day, “What am I doing here? I’m going home. When’s the next bus out of here.” Because all of a sudden, it’s really interesting. And he would say, “I’ll transfer you.” “No Baba! Don’t do that!” And He’d laugh. He had a great time teasing us. But then time would come He would transfer us. Like, about five or six years ago, a couple that had been with me and others in India with Maharajji, they came back to India for the first time and we were out singing the Hanuman Chalisa out in front of the mandir, the temple for Maharajji, and this, I noticed the woman standing over on the side where there was a place where Maharajji used to sit just like on a porch. And she was standing on one of the steps of the porch, just like standing there like this. And I noticed it and I said, “Oh, something’s going on over there. “ So when I finished, we finished singing, she came over to me, she said, “Krishna Das, I think only you can understand when I’m going to tell you.” I said, “What’s that?” She said, “I was just standing on those steps and I remembered standing there, what was it, 40 years ago, right? Standing there 40 years ago, looking at Maharajji and thinking, ‘this is where I, I’ve finally made it, I’m home. This is where I’ll always be.” She looked at me and she said, “What happened?” She married, had two kids who were now, then in college, she’s got a real estate business, a big house, a whole life going on, and she remembered standing there and thinking, “This is where I’ll always be. Standing here looking at Him. This is where I want to be. This is where I’ll always be.” Transfer. Back into the karmas. Back into your life. He brought us there. He gave us what we needed. He shipped us back into our lives. He didn’t need people to be there. I remember this old couple came from Lucknow, a whole family actually that came from Lucknow and they a train, then they took the bus, then they got another bus. They got off at kainchi and they walked inside. Maharajji looks, “You’ve come? Good. Now go.” And they got up. Got back on the bus and went home, you know? He didn’t need you to be there because He’s everywhere. These great beings are everywhere. We’re the ones who are stuck in this thing that limits us so totally. They’re not. You don’t… and they’re running the show, PS. So, good luck thinking you’re making any decisions. But you have to. People ask me all the time, you know, is it all grace, what should I do? I say, if you think there’s a choice to make, make it. Make the best choice you can make. Don’t sit around doing nothing. That ain’t going to work. That is not going to work. Because doing nothing is still doing something and it’s not very helpful. Make a choice. Make the right choice, the best choice you can make for yourself and the people you’re around and the situation you’re in. Make that choice and go for it 100%. So, He used to say, one time I was with Siddhi Ma, who’d been with Maharajji for 40 years and the fire company’s coming, I wonder what they want… So, I said, “Ma, Maharajji said, He had the keys to the mind. Ok. Let’s say He does. If He does, that means that I am exactly where He wants me to be. Otherwise I’d be somewhere else, right? He would just move me. So, is it all grace? Or is it my own effort?” And She said, “It’s all grace. But you have to act like it isn’t.” The deal is done but we don’t know it. So we have to act. We have to deal with who we believe ourselves to be. We’re not who we think we are. But we think we are who we think we are. So, we have to make the best decisions in life and be the best person we can be. But in the other picture, the big picture, it’s already done, but we’re not seeing the Big Picture and you can’t pretend that you are. And just, even if you know there’s a big picture, that’s not enough. You still will come across choices that you have to make in your daily life. Like, where d…

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    Ep. 41 | Karma and Consciousness, Dealing With Negativity Dec 12, 2020
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    Call and Response Ep. 41 Karma and Consciousness, Dealing With Negativity Q: I’ve been putting a lot of emphasis on my mind a lot of my life and to turn that around, I find that quite difficult. I’m a recovered Catholic and I’m trying my best to remove all belief systems. They’re inappropriate. Lately, in trying to find, and this is one of my shortcomings, always the quickest way to get somewhere, and I’m reading quite a few things on YouTube, believe it or not, and I found out that some people believe that there is no such a thing as karma when we reach a certain level of consciousness and I was wondering if this (karma) is a belief system? “It’s real easy to see the atmosphere you create for yourself when you’re kind to people, when you care about people, when you’re someone that’s open to being with people in a good way. Your life becomes simple and filled with good things. Consciousness doesn’t have to be created. It’s here. Always.” – Krishna Das Q: I’ve been putting a lot of emphasis on my mind a lot of my life and to turn that around, I find that quite difficult. I’m a recovered Catholic and I’m trying my best to remove all belief systems. They’re inappropriate. Lately, in trying to find, and this is one of my shortcomings, always the quickest way to get somewhere, and I’m reading quite a few things on YouTube, believe it or not, and I found out that some people believe that there is no such a thing as karma when we reach a certain level of consciousness and I was wondering if this is a belief system KD: A what? A belief system? Q: That karma is a belief system? And at a certain level, our spirit, when it’s very evolved, can create not having karma or is one with the godliness, the essence of godliness, that they, it can create whatever it wants so it certainly doesn’t want karma except, naturally, the good karma. Is there such a thing as being able to remove karma by just creating, being evolved eventually, etcetera. KD: Yeah, if you have good karma. Yeah, so karma, yes, it is a belief system, so to speak. But it’s pretty misunderstood, you know? Karma is actually the key to freedom, because it says, every action has an, every action has an effect, has a, no not necessarily an opposite reaction, not at all, but every action is like a seed that gets planted and that seed will grow, sooner or later. So, if you’re a cranky nasty person treating people bad all the time, you’re thinking always about yourself before others, these are the kind of seeds you’re planting. A lot of happiness doesn’t seem to be able to come from that. If you’re a kind person who’s thinking about others and serving others and taking care of yourself as well, that’s a whole different atmosphere that you’re living in. And in that atmosphere, different things can happen. When you’re living in a very dark, unhappy, cold atmosphere, in a very self-centered kind of way, then you’re creating all those kinds of karmas as well, and the way you’re talking, someone would say, “Well, you have very good karmas, very positive karmas, because you’re already thinking of how to create more freedom, rather than more bondage.” So, even being involved in that process is already very positive, very, there’s sattvic, so to speak, harmonious way of living, because you recognize if you’re treating other people bad all the time, you create a very negative atmosphere about yourself, around yourself, and it’s, it’s not easy to free one’s self from that. And so even, you could say, karma’s just another belief system, like any so-called belief system, but my experience tells me that, regardless of what I think about karma, it seems to be a way of dealing with cause and effect. Because one of the things they say is that nothing can come, nothing can be, exist, without a cause for existence. You know? If you have children, there was a cause for their existence. If you have money, if you have money in life, they say that’s because you were generous in a previous birth, for instance. And so, people with money in this birth, they tend not to be so generous, they tend to have a lot of fear and try to hold onto that and protect it. And so, they’re spending their generous, their money creating karmas and not creating more money creating karmas, so in the future, their selfishness and fear has created poverty, so to speak. It’s things like that. Most of these things are off the radar, but it’s real easy to see the atmosphere you create for yourself when you’re kind to people, when you care about people, when you’re someone that’s open to being with people in a good way. Your life becomes simple and filled with good things. Consciousness doesn’t have to be created. It’s here. Always. What’s looking out of our eyes, what’s hearing through our ears, what’s feeling through our skin, tasting through our tongue, seeing through our eyes and being aware of thoughts in our so-called mind, is consciousness, is awareness. It’s here. Always here. They say it’s uncreated. They say it’s before creation, so to speak. Consciousness. So, everything comes after that is an object of that consciousness, so one doesn’t have to create that. One has to recognize it, to look for it. Look towards it. And so, for instance, in a practice of like, the repetition of the Name, where’s that Name come from? They say that these Names that we’re repeating, in India of course they call them the Names of God, whatever that means, they say those Names were brought to this world that we live in by a Being who recognized Reality, who merged with the Universe and then offered this path to finding that merging with the Universe. So those Names come from a place that’s deeper than our thoughts. Deeper than our emotions. Deeper than our conceptual understandings. So, by the repetition of those Names, we’re moving ourselves deeper within our own Being. And ultimately, we recognize that deeper reality. There’s no proof, you can’t prove these things, you know? But, if one meets Beings who radiate this goodness and this happiness and strength, inner strength and kindness, one says, “Well, how did that happen for you?” And they tell you, and that’s what they tell you, you know? They all have their way, each one of them has a way that they realized that, that experience. Saint Francis, all the great saints, they all tell you certain things and they’re all about not focusing only on your small “s” self. You now, we always wanted Maharajji to give us, to tell us what to do. Give us the thing, we’ll go do it. And He would say, we’d say, “Baba, how do you find God?” He said, “Serve people.” Serve people? He’s obviously out of it today. “Ok, Baba, how do you raise kundalini?” Mmmm… kundalini. He said, “Feed people.” What? What is he talking about? This is what He told us. “Don’t think about yourself. “ He never encouraged us to do spiritual practice for the sake of our own enlightenment. Why? Because all you get is a big ego that you can’t see because it’s spiritual. Must be good. Even though it doesn’t seem to be working very well. So, that’s the deal. And, you know, in Vajrayana Buddhism, in Mahayana Buddhism, they talk about offering the fruits of your practice to others. So, you sit and you make your effort of remembering that you’re actually sitting, trying to remember, you know, and then before you get up, you say, well, may this practice that I’ve done, may this effort benefit all beings. And that expands you. It connects you. You begin to feel that you’re not, neither are you alone in the universe and neither are you, nor are you isolated. And that what you do affects others, and others affect you too. And on the other hand, I don’t know how many hands we have, but on the other hand, a lot of our unhappiness and our fear and anger and is not really ours alone. We’re living in a very dark, unhappy time and it’s very scary. And it’s the atmosphere. Everybody’s living in it, in this planet, in the same atmosphere. So, a lot of the stuff that happens mentally is not really our own personal issues, although we do take it all personally, our depression, our anger, our grief, our shame. All the stuff that we have, that’s my stuff. But it’s not always only your stuff. It’s a combination of the atmosphere we’re living in, so you know, trying to surface, to come up to the surface and get a breath of air in that atmosphere is very difficult. It takes time, and a kind of sincerity and whole-heartedness to really, to bring to our lives, to be able to give ourselves fully, or at least, more fully to what we’re doing. Whatever it is we’re doing. I hope that wasn’t too horrible. Ok. Thank you. Q: You just spoke about lot about this not being our own, but really a societal thing or rather I’d call it, more like, it’s in the ether, so there’s a lot of negativity polarity as we all understand. Too little of ability to come up for, for fresh air or have an alternate by many many many many layers upon layers upon layers upon layers. With all the awakening going on, those of us who get what you just spoke of also find ourselves overwhelmed by the overpressure of what’s in the ethers, it’s like an imbalanced see-saw. How can we build critical mass to right that see-saw for there to be more light? For there to be more of what you do want rather than what you don’t want and then reacting because you see more of what you don’t want and then you’re just pissed off at that. It is just so dense and intense, permeating in the ether and there is still, as a global society, as a, it’s really in the global planetary ether, how to change all that? KD: Got it. Got it. Ok? Got it. So, one time a reporter was interviewing the Dalai Lama. And he said, “Your Holiness, are you happy?” And the Dalai Lama said, “Well, I guess you could say I’ve had a hard life. I was recognized as a reincarnation of the previous Dalai Lama and taken from my parents at a very early age. And then, the Chinese invaded and I was forced to take the reigns, become the, run the country at like, 15 years old. And then, the Chinese continued to invade so I had to escape my country. And then I had to watch helplessly as millions, millions upon million of my country’s people were slaughtered and killed. But, I’m happy.” He said, “The Chinese took everything from me. Am I going to let them take my happiness?” This is big time. Big Time. Your happiness is not dependent on what’s happening in the world. And in fact, until we can be happy within ourselves, we’re severely limited in what we can do in the world because motivation is what, is what dictates the result of our actions. You know? If we, if we plant a seed by just throwing it out, you know, like this? Maybe it will grow. If we plant the seed and plant it in the right place and give it some fertilizer and the prevent the cows from eating it, then it might grow. So, our actions have a lot to do with the motivation of our why we do what we do. Two people can do the same thing and have totally different result. Why? Well, there’s a million reasons, but it has a lot to do also with why a person does something. For instance, once I, when I was living somewhere, I had a little closet that I went into to meditate. And I had a candle and incense and a little cushion, and one day I went in there and I got in, I closed the door, ok, and I started puffing up the cushion and I turned around, before my ass hit that cushion I went “ahhh..” and I saw that my motivation for doing these practices at that time was that I wanted to create a “me” that I could like. And if I was doing spiritual practice, well I must be a very good person and I must like the right things… In other words, I was creating a version of me that I could love because I didn’t love myself as I am. So what could come from that? If my motivation is hatred of myself, then the practice, all it’s going to do is make me a bigger ego that I don’t even like. If it was a big ego I liked, ok that’s not so bad. Although it’s the same. But yeah, see? So there’s nothing out there. There’s nobody out there. There’s only you. You are every being that you see in this world. That’s the other side of taking responsibility for everything out there. So, when you clean up your act, the whole world is cleaned up. Now, I know. The neighbors are still going to be noisy. Your car’s still not going to work. The kids are going to be yelling and screaming, but you will be dealing with that and meeting every minute in a completely different way. One time, Maharajji said, somebody asked Him about something, He said, “I’ve already done everything. I just leave the mind to you.” Thanks. But He was saying, like Siddhi Ma said later, “It’s all grace.” We live in a state of grace. We’re swimming in an ocean of grace, but we don’t realize it and so, we suffer. You can’t, it’s not something you can manipulate yourself emotionally to feel. It’s not like that. It’s already there. It’s looking out of your eyes, right now. When Maharajji left the body and I was running around looking for Him, because I knew He was somewhere, He just wasn’t showing me. I was running through the jungle and I meet these Babas, and I go, “I’m looking for my Guru.” “Your Guru? Your Guru is looking out of your eyes? What’s your problem?” “Ah, you don’t understand.” I went somewhere else. You know, it’s you have to hold, what they say there’s ultimately reality and relative reality, ok? In other words, this, there is what it is already, ok? Perfect. And then there’s relative reality, which is all the bullshit we think all day long. Ultimate reality is like the sky and it holds everything within it. The earth, the smog, the trees, the birds, everything, right? Relative reality is all that stuff. When we’re in relative reality, we don’t experience ultimate, the real thing. We’re stuck in this. But those who are in, who recognize ultimate reality, they live in this world freely and they, they’re here. Those are the great Beings that are here only to remind us and show us what’s possible. So, It’s not like you can make that happen. You don’t have to make it. You have to find what this is. Who you are. And then everything will come. And like I say, the most important thing, one of the most important things is how do you meet every moment? How do you meet every person that shows up in your awareness? Every person. How do you treat that person? Because all we see is our subjectivity. We react, whether it’s attraction or aversion. It’s usually one part of one of those or some mixture. But when Maharajji looked out, He saw God everywhere. He saw His own true nature everywhere. And He could see what I thought about myself, which is why compassion arose in Him, because that’s the only thing that can arise in one of these Beings. Kindness and compassion. And the ability to help me extricate myself from my self-hatred and my self-judging and my self-limiting and the whole thing. So, be, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be active in the world. We should do everything we can to relieve any kind of suffering that comes into our lives, whether its for somebody else or our own personal suffering. That would be a wonderful way to go through life, being somebody can help anyone and anything that comes into your life. But we’re not capable of that. We don’t know how to, I mean, one time, many many years ago, before I went to India, before I met Ram Das, I was living on a farm. I had taken way too much acid, so I went off to live on a farm in the mountains of Pennsylvania all alone, with my two dogs and my cat and I was living up in the mountains with no human beings in sight. And, so I used to walk around and I got friendly with the people who owned the farm next door. So one day, the phone rings. My name was Jeff. They said, “Jeff, come on up here. Come on up to the house. Hurry hurry!” So, I thought, “What’s going on?” So, I ran up to the house up the road, you know? And I walk up and she comes running out of the house and she hands me a rifl…

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    Ep. 40 | Dark Night of the Soul, Gratitude and the Renaissance of Psychedelics Dec 11, 2020
    Show notes

    Call and Response Ep. 40 Dark Night of the Soul, Gratitude and the Renaissance of Psychedelics Q: So Ram Das talks a lot about how, as you awaken or you go on this spiritual journey, the passions of life kind of start to fall away, and for me, personally, it can be such a release some days when I look out and I see people that this is it and that car is it and doing this and winning is it and I kind of see through it, and then there are days when I just want to go back to sleep because I want to be lost in it. It’s so hard sometimes, I mean just to, I don’t know, everybody’s going bowling as Ram Das says in his talks and you don’t want to bowl anymore. It’s just like, “I can take it or leave it.” Are we just supposed to get to that point where the highs are gone, the lows are gone and we’re just here? Now? “On this path, those moments of darkness, all that energy fuels the longing to be free, fuels the longing to connect more deeply with what we want to connect with. It’s a good thing, ultimately. It’s a dark night of the soul but there’s a morning right after the night.” – Krishna Das Q: Can you just talk a little bit about the dark night of the soul. KD: Oh. Q: I know. So Ram Das talks a lot about how, as you awaken or you go on this spiritual journey, the passions of life kind of start to fall away, and for me, personally, it can be such a release some days when I look out and I see people that this is it and that car is it and doing this and winning is it and I kind of see through it, and then there are days when I just want to go back to sleep because I want to be lost in it. It’s so hard sometimes, I mean just to, I don’t know, everybody’s going bowling as Ram Das says in his talks and you don’t want to bowl anymore. It’s just like, “I can take it or leave it.” Are we just supposed to get to that point where the highs are gone, the lows are gone and we’re just here? Now? Just kidding. KD: Like, be here now, you mean? Oh, wow, I never thought of that. Yes and no, of course. Dryness of heart is not something that’s useful, so when shit doesn’t work for you anymore, you can start to feel very dry and very disconnected from life and very, you know, you can really feel like, isolated from things and cut off. So, that’s not useful. That’s neurosis, essentially. But the problem is that we’re so used to trying to squeeze water from a stone that everything we see, we try to squeeze and bring out pleasure from it. It’s very hard to break that habit so that when it’s not working for whatever reason, the hands are still going like this but there’s nothing there, you know? That’s why there has to kind of, that’s why, when you have a practice that you’ve been doing for awhile and you recognize that you understand that you’re not supposed to be, it’s not about how you feel. How you feel is irrelevant. You do the practice. If it makes you feel a certain way and you’re still doing the practice in that moment, that feeling becomes the object of awareness and you come back from being lost in how good this feels, then you can also extend that to how bad this feels. You get lost in that. And the more you’re used to letting go, the more you’ve trained yourself not to be identified so strongly with the experience, you come back naturally a little quicker. So it doesn’t feel dry. The dryness is that you still wish there was something coming from that stone, which there isn’t. But when you become aware of that, see, you have to get used to, so what I was saying, It’s not easy. It takes time to cultivate that motion of letting go. So, Sri Ramakrishna was a very very great saint who lived in India in the 1800s and he talked about the way the practice of the repetition of the Name works, for instance. There are other practices, of course. But this one… and he said, every repetition of the name is a seed that gets planted in your mind stream, so to speak, in your heart stream in your life. And just like the seed of a huge tree carries that whole tree in a tiny little seed, that potential, that energy, that whatever it is, it’s all in that little seed of a huge oak tree. So, these seeds get planted through the repetition of the Name. He said, every single repetition of one of these names is a seed, ok? Just take it or leave it. It’s a seed. So, that gets planted. You planted it through the repetition of the Name. So, he said, some of these seeds might get caught by the wind and blown miles and miles and get stuck on the roof of an old house in the jungle. And in those days, the tiles on some of those roofs were baked in the sun, not necessarily in a kiln, and so the seeds of the repetition of the Name get stuck between these tiles and then, over rain and snow and wind and seasons changing, the tiles start to break down. Ok? And then, the seeds, the roots from the seeds start to grow. And the roots grow and grow and grow and they destroy the roof of the house. And they keep growing. And they wind up destroying the whole house. Ramakrishna says that house is who you think you are. So, it’s gonna happen. You plant the seeds and you live your life. But what’s being dissolved is your… so that house was built, right? There was just space before and then somebody built a house, and those walls and roof of the house separated the inside from the outside, like who you think you are and who everybody else thinks they are in the room. There’s all these little houses here. They say the repetition of the Name gradually destroys that temporary sense of separateness. It’s just temporary because that house was built for certain reasons. There were causes and conditions that built the house. You needed to protect yourself from the rain and the sun. You had a family you wanted to protect from the tigers and the elephants so you built a house. Through the repetition of the Name, you’re liberated from that sense of separateness and you’re opened up into everything. You’ve become one with the whole universe. The space, and even, the trick is that even when the house was there, the space inside was not different than the space outside. So, the space inside of me is not different than the space inside of you and the space inside of which we’re all living. When the walls come down, we’re everywhere. It’s not, we’ve lost nothing. We’ve gained the whole universe. You don’t disappear. You get here. So, that’s the fruit of practice. And you notice, Ramakrishna doesn’t say, “Oh when you’re practicing it’ll feel like this or that or one thing or another.” Why? Because it’s irrelevant. When you’re repeating the Name, the only thing that’s relevant is the Name. Anything you’re thinking, feeling, remembering, dreaming about, wanting, not wanting, blah blah blah blah blah… let it go. Come back. Until there’s no letting go because there’s nothing to let go of and you’re here all the time. Nowhere. Nothing grabs you. Thoughts will continue to come. They’ll float through like birds. They won’t grab you. You’ll still be here even when thoughts are thinking. You won’t be thinking them. They’ll be there to think, like “I’d better go to work.” Ok. Something like that. But you don’t identify with it. It doesn’t, that glomming, the glue is gone. So, that dryness comes from not really being through with stuff. Who is, anyway? Right? We’re all here. So, you don’t want to judge yourself for that. You don’t want to put yourself down. You don’t want to evaluate. That’s all thinking. But we do it so much that we think that it’s necessary. “We should be thinking.” Not necessary. Except, you know, at certain times you have to kind of think. But those times disappear gradually and then thinking just happens when it’s supposed to. But, the dryness, you know… I don’t know if that really qualifies as the dark night of the soul. It can get darker than that. But, on this path, those moments of darkness, all that energy fuels the longing to be free, fuels the longing to connect more deeply with what we want to connect with. It’s a good thing, ultimately. It’s a dark night of the soul but there’s a morning right after the night. Q: It’s not just one night, dark night of the soul, it could be months, years? KD: Yeah it’s not a human, not a physical day. It could take you lifetimes. But what it does is it fuels the longing to be free. It is an intensification of the recognition of the fact that nothing you’ve done has worked, which is a good recognition to have. I’m sorry. It’s gotta come. So, yeah. Q: Hi, first of all thank you for taking my question. I appreciate it. I didn’t, really, the only reason why I wanted to speak was just to thank you personally, just because, like, your music has helped me so much and that’s why I’m here and I never thought in a million that I’d get a chance to sit here and actually speak with you. So, thank you so much for your music, especially, Pilgrim Heart. I absolutely love that album. I spent a few years in Peru working with indigenous healers in the Amazon and yeah, it got really dark at times and then sometimes I work with ayahuasca, I don’t know if, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. KD: Yeah. I’ve heard of it. Q: Sometimes after a ceremony, I just put on your music and it would lift me. KD: While you were puking your guts out. Q: So thank you. You’ve helped me through some pretty hard times. KD: You’re welcome. Music to puke by. Wonderful. Thank you. Q: So, also, ok, so I figured I might as well have a question or two. One, I don’t know if the SDM… does that name ring a bell? KD: Yeah, yeah. Surya Das. Q: Yeah, so he’s a friend of mine. KD: Yeah, I’ve known him since 1968. Q: Yeah. So, he came down to see me when I was in Peru and he chanted during ceremony and what came out was just so beautiful. Just, the energy and just the, the vibration and I just wanted to ask you, in your chants, because, you know, a lot of healers are trained to visualize when you’re chanting, do you retrain to visualize at all? KD: I wasn’t trained shit. Q: Ok. Because I wasn’t sure, because also I study medical chi-gong and I’m learning a lot about distance healing. KD: Then you were trained to shit. Q: But you’re taught to visualize when you’re working. KD: Yeah. Not me. I just sing. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. Q: Well, whatever you’re doing its amazing. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. And its wonderful to be here and its wonderful to see you. KD: Next, thank you. Q: Just a quick question, all this talk about Ram Das and acid and ayahuasca, and you know there’s… KD: Sooner or later, we always get to this, I know. Q: There’s all this renaissance in psychedelics and Michael Pollan’s book came out KD: Yeah. Q: I was wondering, did they have a role in your spiritual growth? KD: Oh, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for psychedelics, there’s no question. At least, in my mind, that’s the way it looks. I took peyote between my junior and senior year of high school. A friend of mine had come back from the Southwest with some peyote buttons, which is mescaline, essentially, and absolutely changed my life. I took it, after I finished puking, I just went “oh… this is what it is.” There was no doubt in my mind that what I was seeing was a deeper reality than Long Island in the 60s. Q: So then, I guess my question then around that is, so there’s a renaissance, people seem to really be into it, somehow that’s going to lead to spirituality, but obviously, you know, you cite a Guru. What do you see is a proper role or what place do they play in all this? KD: It’s different for everybody. I don’t think there’s one rule for anybody. It’s different. If you feel that you really want to take some drug like that, knock yourself out, so to speak. Who’s going to tell you what to do? Maharajji Himself called it the ‘yogi medicine’, you know? And He took it twice. Ram Das gave it to Him twice. The first time was the very first time Ram Das met Him, and He took three or four hits, and He said to Ram Das, Ram Das didn’t, Ram Das went to India the first time with a bunch of acid because he knew it had changed his life but he didn’t know what it was, so he went to find that, he thought maybe somebody in India will know what it is. So, he went around giving it to people, chai wallahs, you know, rickshaw wallahs, you know, storekeepers, anybody who wanted some, got some. And nobody, some people liked it, some people didn’t, but they all went… oh. So then he’s sitting in front of Maharajji the first time and Maharajji said, “You have some medicine?” So Ram Das thought He meant, like, an asprin or something, so he takes out a bottle of asprin. He said, “Nay nay, the yogi medicine.” Yogi medicine? He must mean acid, so he said, “Yeah?” And He said, “Give it to me.” So, He put His hand out like this, and there were like, three or four tabs of acid, each one strong enough to put a horse on the moon. Maharajji threw them all in His mouth. And they sat around all day, nothing happened. It was the same. No difference whatsoever. That was really powerful for Ram Das. I mean, it wasn’t the most powerful, the most powerful thing was the love that He felt from Maharajji, but the next day this happened and then he went, jeeze, you know, He’s beyond acid. Which was a big thing because it changed his life completely, right? Ok, so then Ram Das came back a couple of years later and this time he came, I was traveling with him and we came to see Maharajji at one point and we were sitting there. Now, when he came back from India the first time, he told the story I just told you, right? But people were saying to him, “Oh, come on, he must have thrown it over his shoulder. He didn’t take it. Nobody could take that much acid.” And even though Ram Das believed it, there was just a little bit of doubt, you know? I mean, really… but in the back of his mind, there was a little bit of doubt. He never said anything to anybody, but, so there we were, two years later sitting with Maharajji, and Maharajji says, “When you were in India last time, did you give me medicine?” “Yes.” “Did I take it?” “Yes.” “Got some more?” Yes.” “Give it to me.” Ram Das put his hand out like this with four hits of Owley acid. Unbelievable. Maharajji went like this, I swear to you, I was sitting right there, He goes like this… four times, and then, after a couple of minutes, He goes, “can I drink water? Cold water? Hot water?” And then after a couple of minutes, He takes His blanket and He pulls it up over His head like this, and then He goes… Ram Das turned purple and he thought, “Oh my god, I’ve killed my Guru. He knew I had some doubts and He wanted to prove He could do it, now I’ve killed my Guru, what’s going to happen?” You know? The minute he thought that, Maharajji just stopped and said, “Yogis have known about this for thousands of years. It used to grow up in the Kulu Valley, and He said something very interesting, “A yogi would go and He would, He would do, He would do essentially ashtanga yoga. He would, he would do yama and niyama and then he would calm the body, calm the breath, he would bring the mind to one point and then he would take the medicine and go through the door.” He said, “For a yogi, no poison can affect him.” And that was it. The rest of the day was just like any other day. He was completely beyond those things, which was inconceivable to us. So, but He said, somebody, once, “A person should take this when his mind is quiet and he’s in a cool place.” And not overheat. But, He called it the yogi medicine. He said, “It’s good for beginners.” So, you have to, you know, whatever, knock yourself out. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t. It’s up to you. Whether it’s going to change your karmas, who knows? Some people don’t have good experiences. Some people hang on and its scary, whatever. Some people open up. For me, it was like getting away from my mother and into playland. I would play with my dog in the snow for hours and hours. I just was so happy, just playing, that’s all. It was really wonde…

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    Ep. 39 | Bad Aim and the Importance of Spiritual Practice Dec 11, 2020
    Show notes

    Call and Response Ep. 39 Bad Aim and the Importance of Spiritual Practice

    “The key to doing a spiritual practice is actually doing it. Every day whether you feel like it or not. Because if you only go with your, “You know, I’m tired today, I think I’ll skip it”, then the habits that are already pushing us around just get stronger and stronger. We have to create new habits that turn us within, that make us more available to our own inner self.” – Krishna Das

    KD: Well, so, what are we doing? Why do sing, “Sri Ram Jai Ram”? Why do we do these practices at all? And, ultimately, the reason is that we’re not happy as we want to be. We have suffering in our lives. We have, we don’t know how to get what we want. We don’t know how to get rid of what we don’t want. And the reason for that is that we believe what we think. Very simple. Right now, you believe that you’re hearing what I’m saying, which is pretty interesting. But we believe what we think and we believe how we interpret what our senses, the information our, we, our senses bring in to us through the course of the day, the course of our life. So essentially, we’re living in a prison with one little window way up high, which we can’t see out of. But we can hear and we get some idea of what’s out there but we don’t really see what’s really out there. But we want to. And the prison we live in is the prison made of thought, our thoughts, all of our thoughts, and the way we believe our thoughts and you can’t think yourself out of a prison that’s made of your thoughts and your beliefs, our beliefs. Believe me, I include me in “us.” There’s no way out of it through thinking or emotional manipulation or trying to, you know that joke about not wanting to join any club that would actually let you join? That’s what it’s like. We have some version in our minds of what it’ll be like when and if we feel the way we want to feel and have the experiences we want to have of freedom or God or nirvana or happiness, whatever you want to call it, love, real love. But because we don’t know what that is, conceptually, we all share one major problem: bad aim. That’s the deal. Bad aim. You think it’s over there but you wind up over there. How did I get over here? Bad aim. We go after what we think we want and it’s not what we want when we get it for more than, you know, ok, sixty seconds if you’re really good. So, why, what do these practices do? Well, it’s very simple. You don’t know, I don’t know what who Ram is or what Ram is. But they say that through the repetition of the Names, gradually but inevitably, now that’s the deal. “Inevitably” is the kicker here. Inevitably, what lives within us, our own true nature, who we really are underneath all the things we think and feel and believe, gradually but inevitably, through the practice of the repetition of the Names, that’s uncovered. You can’t know what it is before it’s uncovered. We’re digging. But you don’t know what it is until you hit something. And even then, you just get a little glimpse. You think, it’s like digging out a corpse from underneath the ground. You hit the foot. “Oh, that’s what it is.” No. That’s just a part of it.

    That was kind of a gross… I’m sorry.

    I can’t help myself.

    So, that’s it. So, the idea is you sing and because it’s a spiritual practice, that means that we have one job only, that’s to pay attention. That’s the beginning. Without some attention, there’s no possibility of ever being here or ever recognizing our true nature or ever finding real love or merging with the divine, because it’s all here and we’re not.

    We’re lost in our thoughts. We’re lost in our day dreams. We’re lost in our knee-jerk reactions to things. All day long, all life long, boom, then we’re dead.

    And we have to do it again in another body. It’s a pain in the ass. And you’ve got to deal with your parents all over again, a whole new set of bullshit, you know? First, you have a Jewish mother, then you have a Hindu mother. Oh, my God. You have to cry in a new language, you know? It’s like, terrible. You ask for milk, she doesn’t know what you’re saying. So, that’s why we have to add a practice to our lives. There’s just no other way to do it, I’m sorry. None of the saints say anything different. Well, some of them talk about sudden enlightenment, but they don’t mention that sudden of enlightenment takes millions of births to happen. So, we sing “Sri Ram Jai Ram”. What’s Ram? We don’t know? Who’s Ram? Is it some Hindu god up in the sky like what’s his name, Jehova? It’s not outside of us because there is no outside of us. It looks like that and that’s why we’re screwed. Oh boy. I’m going to tone it down. I had too much caffeine. Maybe if I have some more, I’ll go over the top and slow down.

    So, you repeat the Name. My guru used to say, “Just repeat the Name. When you’re angry, when you’re sad, when you’re happy, when you’re, anything, just go on repeating.” And if you don’t, then what? If we don’t do the practice, then what? Then we’re just floating out in the ocean with no direction, and whatever winds come by blow us around.

    If we want to slow down, we have to sink an anchor down into the bottom and that anchor is the Name in this case. Or, any other spiritual practice that you like to do.

    The key to doing a spiritual practice is actually doing it. Every day whether you feel like it or not. Because if you only go with your, “You know, I’m tired today, I think I’ll skip it”, then the habits that are already pushing us around just get stronger and stronger. We have to create new habits that turn us within, that make us more available to our own inner self. I mean, we didn’t have much of a vote in developing the habits we already have, other than our karmas that brought us into this life with those parents, to that school, with those friends, in that culture, in that country at that time. But we didn’t get a vote, who we are now did not get a vote in that. If we’re even going to get a vote now, then we have to start paying attention and that’s not so easy to do. But it’s not that hard, either. For instance, let me ask you a question, are you breathing? Yeah? Oh. That’s how easy it is. You’re always breathing, whether you’re paying attention or not. So, you can always come back to the breath if you make the breath your object of awareness, you can always come back because it’s always there, then if you, if you add the repetition of the Name to the breath, also, you’ll find that shows up in your mind and then you can come back to that and then the breath, or just stay with that. We have to figure out, we have to find some way to keep coming back from Dreamland. All day long, Dreamland. Where are we going? And we wake up in the morning and we start writing, producing, directing and acting in the movie of me. The movie of me, all life long, the movie of me. All we do is think about ourselves. How am I doing now? How am I doing now? Is there too much stuff on my elbow, are my pants long enough? Do my shoes fit? Is my hair ok? Are they going to like me? They won’t like me. Maybe I’ll go there. Maybe I’ll eat this. Maybe I’ll just take rest. Maybe I’ll watch tv. What’s on? Nah, never mind. Ok. All day long, we’re never here, we’re just like, totally lost. And, how can you make a good decision if you’re not here? How can we pay attention to what we really want if we’re not even paying attention to where we are? So, it’s not so easy. Really, it isn’t. Little by little. You can dress up in holy clothes and you can wear beads and wear white clothes and act spiritual, but that has nothing to do with it. Nothing. It’s just something else to let go of. Another identity. You’re trying to build another identity that you could like. Already, when you don’t like yourself underneath that. So, what’s the sense of adding more stuff on top of stuff. I did it. So, I know. It’s just, it just comes out of self hatred. It all comes out of not caring enough about ourselves. To really live fully, to really be sincere with ourselves and with the people in our lives and nobody ever trained us to give ourselves a break. So, how are we going to train, how are we going to, how is that going to happen? We have to step up to the plate and make a stand in life and get here. Or it ain’t going to happen. And when the stuff gets really hard, when you get sick or someone in your family gets sick or somebody dies close to you, how are we going to live through that and not have our hearts completely destroyed? It’s very difficult. Very very difficult. But on the other hand, unhappiness is not required. It’s not required. A recognition of dissatisfaction in our lives is required, but unhappiness about it is not required, that’s just neurosis. And neurosis comes, it just grabs you so fast. And it’s right there in your so-called spiritual practice. Am I sitting straight enough? Neurosis. Wow, this is a really good meditation. Neurosis. I mean, it’s just ridiculous, but that’s ok, you understand? All that’s ok, that comes with the program. That comes with the body. That comes with being born.

    But you have to add a practice to that or how will we ever get out of it? How will we ever wake up?

    My Guru was really strange, you know? I’m still working on trying to figure out who He is. He never told us what to do except, “Go away.” “Jao. Go.” He didn’t tell me to sing with people, He didn’t say, “Go forth and multiply.” He didn’t tell me to spread the gospel. I had to find out what I had to do for me. And this is what it is, as strange as that may seem. We each have to find out what we need to do with our lives and be the best person we can be. That’s what spiritual practice is about, by the way. It’s not about becoming God, you’re already God. What we’re not is good human beings. Ok, everybody out but her. I’ll give her the secret teaching.

    We’re self-centered and selfish and greedy and nasty and cranky and we don’t give a shit about anybody. We pretend we do. That’s nice. But don’t step on my toe, dude. Really. You see, you can think you’re really Holy and then somebody cuts you off, you know? One time, I was in a car, there was a radio station in New York that wanted some of my cds, so I was driving them into the city to drop them off. So, they were on the car seat, right? So I thought, well, why don’t I listen to this? That’s where everybody else listens to me, in their car. So, I put it on and I’m going, “Hare Krishna… hey this is not bad. Hare Krishna Hare Krishna” and then somebody cut me off. “Sonofa!… Hare Krishna…”

    So, I pulled up in front of and I sped around. “Who is that? Trying to hurt me and trying to kill me!” And I pulled up and there in this little old Toyota Corolla, right? Was a tiny little woman, like 90 years old, like this, couldn’t see over the windshield, you know? She reminded me of my mother. Was she aiming at me? No. She wasn’t aiming at me. She didn’t even see me. She wasn’t aiming at me, but I took it like, “Who’s that? What do they want? What are they trying to do to me?” Right? We all do that. Like, we’re the target of everybody else’s stuff. Why am I being so nice today?

    Anyway, those knee jerk reactions are what we live, that’s the world we live in all day long. We don’t think about how we feel about things. We immediately feel something. We believe it and we act on it. So, we’re creating all kinds of unconscious karmas, all day long. That goes with the program. You can’t stop that on the level it happens. That’s why you sing one of these chants, or you watch your breath or you do some other mantra or something because you’re training yourself to come back. “Ok, Sri Ram Jai Ram, what time is it? You know, The UConn women’s basketball team is starting at 3:30, did I set the tape recorder? I don’t think I did. Damn it. Ok, I can watch it on, oh… Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram”. You don’t notice how far, how gone, we don’t notice how gone we are. You’ll be singing, but you’ll be thinking about something else. So, that’s ok, you don’t have to judge yourself for that, that would be more neurosis. You just come back. That’s all. You don’t spend time putting yourself down. That’s something else. That’s neurosis. Just come back. That’s all you have to do. Let go and come back, so we’re training ourselves again and again to let go and come back. It takes a long time to get used to that and the more we do it, the more it happens through the day as we’re going through our life in Dreamland. We’ll notice. You know, you’ll be driving somewhere and you’ll just recognize, “What am I doing? I’m just not paying any attention to any of this,” but yet you’re driving. You’re stopping. You’re going. You’re watching the speed limit. But you’re not really present. The thing about being with a real, a great saint or a great yogi or a great Being is they’re here, all the time. Right now, they’re here. They’re always here. All of them. But we’re not here. When we get here, we meet the whole party, the whole posse. They’re here and they’ll always be here. We’re not here. And to develop the strength, the inner strength to sincerely desire to be free and present, it takes time to really recognize what we’re doing. We all have a lot of motives for what we’re doing, a lot of different reasons that we think about practice or whatever you’re thinking about. Whatever it is, just keep doing it. Maharajji used to say, “Go on, sing your lying Ram Ram. One of these days you’ll say it right once. You’ll call out once and the real Ram will show up and then…” you know? So, we’re practicing. That’s what they call it. The real Ram is always present but we don’t recognize that. The real God, the real love is always here but we don’t, we don’t allow ourselves to feel that. Little by little our hearts can soften and we will allow ourselves to be good to ourselves.

    It’s a radical idea.

    Ok. So, let’s have some questions or comments or whatever. We have a microphone that you have to speak into…

    The post Ep. 39 | Bad Aim and the Importance of Spiritual Practice appeared first on Krishna Das.


    Ep. 37 | Maharajji’s Language, Why Is Chanting Important? Dec 07, 2020
    Show notes

    Call and Response Ep. 37 Maharajji’s Language, Why Is Chanting Important? Why is chanting transformative? Why is the chanting of names transformative? Does it require an understanding of what those names, the stories behind those names, in order for the chanting of those names to be transformative? “These names are mantras. These are sounds that come from a deeper place inside of us and they were brought into this world so you and I could hear them by saints, by yogis who have recognized the truth, have experienced reality through these names and they’ve experienced the reality of these names.” – Krishna Das Q: Thank you so much. This is just a question about linguistics. Did He speak English? Like when you have all these conversations, how did this actually happen?KD: No. He could say things like “Quick march.” From the English time. “Quick March.” “Sit down.” That’s it. That’s about all I heard Him ever say in English. Q: When you speak of all these communications that was all through a translator KD: There were always Indian people around who spoke perfect English. Not always, but most of the time. And when He had, sometimes He just would make you understand what He wanted, without a word at all. One time, I was walking towards the front of the temple and all of a sudden, I was running towards the front of the temple and He was right at His window, “Come here!” I went there. “Ok.” And I ran off to do something and I was halfway gone when I went “Wait a minute” how did I know what He said? Like that, you know? He didn’t need anything. I mean, He didn’t need to be told anything. He knew everything all the time. It was, it was just extraordinary to be in the presence of somebody like that. Q: Can I ask one more question? KD: Yeah. Sure. Q: I’m just interested. I believe it and I kind of get how it worked, but you often speak of the abuse and anger? And even language, like colorful language KD: Oh yeah. He cursed. You can’t believe the things He said to people. Q: Can you expound on this? KD: Like what? Q: In Christian background, it’s forbidden. You don’t speak that way. You’re always kind and good. KD: Really? Q: Supposedly. KD: You’d have a tough time proving that in court. Always kind and good, uh-huh. Well… it was a way of changing the atmosphere of, and it was only the close people who were really abused, because they could take it. They loved it. They would look… and we’d be sitting there. We didn’t know Hindi at the time. “What is He saying?” “Sister fucker?” Things like that. The worst shit. You can’t imagine. These village people, this is how they talked. That’s what they do. You know? I was recently with a young Baba in India and I had met Him once or twice before and He’s very wild and very loving, sweet but He likes the abuses so I came there from Delhi and I spent the day, and then in the evening I was going back to Delhi. I said, “Baba I’m going back to Delhi now.” “Why?” I said, “You know, now. I like my comfort. I’ve got my hotel room and everything.” “Ney. That’s not why. You’re afraid to shit in the latrine. That’s why. See this guy? He’s afraid to shit in the latrine. See this guy over here. He doesn’t want to shit in the…” He just was like abusing me in front of all these Indians. They were laughing, they were laughing. So, I had to stay. But that’s love. That’s the way, you know? They’re not afraid. They don’t throw people out of their hearts. We’re all scared shitless that if somebody looks at us crooked, they hate us. And that’s why we’re, that’s why everything’s so screwed up here. They’re not afraid of that. It’s all loose and open and wild. They’re free with that. They know when to do it and when not to do it and who to do it with. And people, like expect that from Babas, too. They expect, especially these kinds of Babas who live in the jungle their whole lives, they’re not, they don’t want anything, they don’t need devotees, they come and go and they don’t care. They understand it’s a sign of affection and closeness, actually, to some degree. They’re not afraid. You know, even Mr. Tiwari, he pissed me off, my dearest, most beloved friend and teacher. He was like my Indian father. But he would really, he would do things that would just piss me off, you know? Then he’d go, “You will fire upon me now?” He wanted to fight. He wanted to argue, you know? This wasn’t, it took me a long time to get with the program because, you know, don’t look, don’t talk to me like that, don’t raise your voice to me. That’s how I grew up. “Be careful.” “Don’t say…” It took me awhile to get used to that, “Hey, it’s all cool.” You can just be anything. It’s really a very different feeling. Functional families, you know? Something we don’t have in America for the most part. Functional families. Not all of them, but many of them are. They don’t, there’s nobody afraid they’re going to be thrown out of their heart. They can just be themselves. And they are. At 100 miles per hour. Some of the weirdest stuff you’ll ever see. Hi. Q: Hi. Thanks for what you do. Why is chanting transformative? Why is the chanting of names transformative? Does it require an understanding of what those names, the stories behind those names, in order for the chanting of those names to be transformative? KD: If it did require that, I’d be in shit, hot water. I don’t know any of that stuff. I mean, I’ve absorbed a little bit of it from being in India most of my life, but I don’t know most of those stories and everything. I’ve got a little basic idea. No, these names are mantras. These are sounds that come from a deeper place inside of us and they were brought into this world so you and I could hear them by saints, by yogis who have recognized the truth, have experienced reality through these names and they’ve experienced the reality of these names, what they are, and so, yes, Rama is also, Ramachandra was a king, and was supposed to be an incarnation of God, but Rama does not necessarily referred to that guy. Rama is another name of the indwelling consciousness within. So, every repetition of that name moves you towards that place inside of you. Same thing with Krishna. Same thing with… all these names are names of that place inside of us. Yes, they do have a storyline in India. They all have stories about them. What this one did. What that one did. But I don’t know them. But I do believe because Maharajji said it over and over that chanting of the Names is a very very very powerful practice and is very transformative practice. Q: What do you feel when you’re chanting? KD: I don’t know because that’s not the point of the chanting. The chanting is to chant. Q: You, what do you feel? KD: I don’t know, because I’m not paying attention to what I feel. I’m singing. And any thought about what I’m feeling is something to let go of. As long as you can let go, you let go. And if you’re thinking about it, you’re not doing it. Q: So, what’s the difference, and I’m not challenging, I’m asking. KD: No, it’s good. Q: Between, so I meditate. I focus on my breath. Is there a difference in chanting meditation or meditation focused on the breath? KD: Technically probably not. But they do say that these names have, are like seeds and like a seed has a whole tree in it. The repetition of the Name is like planting those seeds in your life stream, in your… and so it’s slightly different than just watching the breath, which is a simple concentration technique. It’s a concentration technique. Mantra practice is not only a concentration technique, but it’s an invocation technique as well, because the universe, when you call the Name, you call somebody, they come. Or at least, they might hear and start to come, so that’s kind of the idea when we chant these Names, we’re calling inward to that presence within us which is alive and well, but mostly undiscovered by us. Q: Yeah, I’m trying to figure out, by chanting the name of the lord you’ll be free. KD: Yeah, he said, as he was snorting coke. Bunch of bullshit. Go ahead. Yeah? Yeah, that’s true. By chanting, sooner or later, maybe. Yeah that’s the idea, of course. You will be free. But it depends on how you do it and why you do it and what your intention is and how you approach the practice. So… Q: I just substitute the chanting for the focus on my breath. KD: You can if you like. Why not? You should do what feels good to you. I know you’re just trying to understand it. Sometimes I watch my breath. Sometimes I do the mantras with the breath. I find that helps me pay some attention, too. I’ve done a lot of breath, regular breath concentration work in early, beginning Buddhist practice. Samhita, before Vipassana. But I tend to do more mantra. I do a lot of things, you know? 19 minutes a day. Just enough not to get into the retreats. I don’t want to do anything that’d really be good for me. Q: Thanks. KD: So, yeah, just, why don’t you just play around with it and see how it goes. But you should listen to your heart. You should see what you feel that you like and try it. It doesn’t, nothing, you’re not going to waste, it’s not a waste of time to explore and find out what things are, how they work for you. But don’t expect something to happen. You know, that’s not the best motive for starting on this path. We’re on this path to find a way to live in a good way in this world and to limit the amount of suffering we go through and limit the amount of suffering that people we’re connected to go through. That’s the best motive for working on ourselves is that we can also be working on others and with others, but if we’re doing it to try and have experiences, all that does is you get a bigger ego. Really. And then you start feeling very important and you think you’ve made a lot of progress on the path, but you haven’t. So, it’s not about what you feel. It’s about your intention for the practice. Why you’re doing it. It’s about trying to lower the barricades around the heart, you know? Soften the heart. Untie some of the knots that we’ve tied inside of our hearts. Q: Yeah. I’ve been meditating for a long time but I’m new to chanting and frankly, I only chant with your music. KD: That’s good. Q: Because I love the way you chant. KD: Me, too. Q: My wife, she chants, she’s a Siddha Yoga practitioner KD: Get rid of her. Make sure she has her own room for that stuff. Q: I’m just trying to see how I can shift the process of chanting to the kind of wonderful experience when I meditate. KD: You know, we haven’t been really taught and trained to how to be good to ourselves, you know? Nobody, when I was growing up nobody told me trust myself. “You do it my way.” Right? That’s what I, what everybody told me, all my teachers, my coaches, my parents. Really, they weren’t about helping me empower myself and trust myself and be good to myself. So now, we’re starting out on this path or we’re trying to do this, these practices. It’s hard to let ourselves feel good. It’s not so easy. It’s easier in a group sometimes. But when you’re sitting at home and trying to get your 19 minutes in, it’s like really hard, you know? It doesn’t, we don’t know how to let it happen. You know? It’s not easy. So, for instance, when I sing by myself at home, sometimes it’s really juicy. Most of the time, it’s not. When I sing with people, it’s always juicy or it’s always intense. But when I’m home alone, I don’t know how to do it for myself. And it’s interesting, so this is the way Mahrajji’s suckered me in to doing something that’s good for me and good for others. Like, I knew I had to sing with people in order to clean out the dark corners of my own heart. It was an epiphany I had. And it was very clear. It was about singing with people. Not alone in my room. Which I would have never done. But give me a group of people and hey, you know. The Hindu Frank Sinatra comes right out. You know? You push a button… But what’ the motive? The motive is to open my heart and to clean the shadows out of my, the darkness out of my own life. And, so, that’s the way it works for me. And I knew Muktananda pretty well. I traveled around with Him. Me and Ram Das and others, we traveled around with Him. We had a lot of fun with Him because He wasn’t our guru. His devotees were scared shitless of Him. But we didn’t care. Because He wasn’t our Guru. We had a great time with Him. It was very fun. A lot of fun for us. Q: In the New Year’s message this year, Surya Lama Das or Lama Surya Das suggested five times a day, five seconds, he said, “Who can’t do that?” KD: Me. Q: That’s it. I just wanted to throw that in. KD: Five times a day. Five seconds. That’s reality. We are so out of it. It’s ridiculous. And we’re thinking, we’re so evolved. “I’m so high. I’ve been doing this for 14 seconds.” We really can’t do anything. But the chanting is nice because we like that, you know? It’s just that simple. We like it. We like how it makes us feel. And that’s because He’s transmitting. That’s Him. That feeling is Him. That’s the way I look at it. You don’t’ have to look at it that way, but that’s how I look at it. Because that’s my reality. That’s the way I see it. Yeah. So, I wanted to do some of that, can you give me that, who has a paper? Oh, over there, she’ll get it. You know, I have difficulty feeling good. It’s not easy for me to, when I’m home along, I mope. I’ve done it my whole life. It’s just who I am. I have to accept it. There’s no getting around it. And one of the things about moping is that, it’s hard to, hard to tell yourself nice stories about things if you’re depressed. Nice stories, happy stories make you sick if you’re depressed. And I’m depressed most of the time. However, one of the practices in bhakti yoga, devotional yoga, is prayer. Praying. And singing songs of praise. Which is a little bit different than mantra, which is the invocation of the actual Names of God. These other kinds of songs are descriptive of the qualities of love and divine love and real love. So, this prayer called Jaya Jagadeesha Hare, which means, “Hail to the Lord of the Universe”. “Jag” is actually “world” I think. And deesha means “lord” so the “lord of the world” and this is, we heard this somewhere, I don’t remember where we heard it, back in India in the old days, and we decided, the Westerners, we decided to learn it and then seek and plan a surprise ceremony for Maharajji. We were going to bring all the special plates and the aarti lights and all the fruits and sweets and everything and we were going to do the first worship of Maharajji by the Westerners. So our friend KK, who taught us the song, every day we’d come back, he’d come over to the hotel, and we’d get in this room together and we’d practice singing it and learning it and so we were going to do, we had everything arranged for this one Tuesday, which is Hanuman’s day, we were going to do this big surprise for Maharajji. And do this prayer, sing this prayer to Him, and do this puja as worship. And it was for this Tuesday so on Monday we were at the temple as usual and He comes out of His room and He sits down and He says, “Do the aarti now!” And we didn’t have it memorized. We were going to have to read our books. You know, everybody had written it out. So, we went running to get our books and then we just stood in front of Him and we sang the aarti. We didn’t have the lights and all the fancy stuff. We just had; you know… it was so powerful. This is, you’ve got to understand, Maharajji didn’t sit still for a second. He was throwing fruit to people, talking to this one, talking to that one, this one, this one, throwing things all around, yelling at this one, yelling at that one. Never. As soon as we started singing, He just went… like that. He sat there the whole time unmoving. It was really intense. Now from the moment I met Ram Das, I felt Maharajji and at that very first meeting with Ram Das, all of a sudden, I knew without a word being spoken, I knew that whatever it was I was looking for was real. It existed. I…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Ep. 36 | There’s No Maharajji Outside of You, Committing To A Practice Dec 07, 2020
    Show notes

    Call and Response Ep. 36 There’s No Maharajji Outside of You, Committing To A Practice So, when I try to tap into the energy or the meaning of Neem Karoli Baba, I feel like I’m grasping at clouds because I wasn’t there. He hasn’t written anything that I can read to understand. “You’re looking to feel something from outside in a sense. You think He’s out there and you want to connect with Him. It’s not like that. He’s not out there, in fact, there is no “out there” there’s only here. But we’re not here, so we’re lost. We’re in dreamland. Sleepy-poo. So, when we wake up, you’ll remember everything.” – Krishna Das Q: I have my real question, but I have to follow up with one of the questions, one of the topics before. There was actually research done after World War 2 here in the US to see whether or not Americans would also do what the Germans did, this was the Milgram studies. KD: They said, “wait 50 years, you’ll find out?” Q: And they found that Americans, you know, for the most part, 80% or so, were willing to kill people in these shocking experiments that they did up at Yale University. So, this was Yale University students. The reason is interesting, I think, because it does tap into our humanity, as you say is you know, to be Beings who are also impacted by our surroundings and I think if I was in Germany I’d be the guard next to you and you know, because our environment, while we have our sense of self and our self we also, through osmosis, take in culture and everything around us. I think it’s part of tapping into our humanity to be open to that angle. So that’s my back question, but now I have my real question. KD: OK. Now I’ll give you the unreal answer. Q: So, this is about Neem Karoli Baba, because I’ve thought about it a lot. You clearly respect and admire Him and I respect and admire you and I have many other people who I respect and admire who also respect and admire Neem Karoli Baba and I’ve thought about it myself that, well, I therefore need to respect and admire Neem Karoli Baba and try to tap into that. A lot of people are pointing me and say, “I came from there, that’s a good place. I came from there.” KD: What do you mean? I came from there? Q: I came from Neem Karoli Baba. He’s like a lineage of sorts. But when I, He didn’t say anything. So, when I try to tap into the energy or the meaning of Neem Karoli Baba, I feel like I’m grasping at clouds because I wasn’t there. He hasn’t written anything that I can read to understand. KD: There’s a lot of stories about Him that have been written. Q: There are the stories and the stories, the stories are of Beingness. KD: Stories of? Q: Of being around Him. Of like, He was sort of a Being, but there’s not meaning that is easy for the next generation to hold onto. Like the written word, that’s how knowledge is typically passed down. KD: Wait a minute. That’s bullshit. First of all, the written word, like the Bible? So, they’ve proven that less than three percent of what’s in the Bible can actually be traced linguistically to the time of Jesus. Three percent. So, what about those people who believe every word that’s in the Bible and if God said it, that’s the truth, and the world was made in, what, a day and a half? Seven days? Whatever. So, you can’t believe anything you read either. Q: I was thinking books and academics. KD: The bible’s a book more or less. Q: That’s true. KD: So, go ahead. Q: So, I find myself not able to hold onto what He is. KD: Your idea of Neem Karoli Baba, which is something outside of you. Q: yeah. KD: Someone who was outside of you some years ago and is no longer here. Q: What wisdom to bring into me from Him? It’s hard to hold. KD: Yeah. Look in the mirror sometime. That’s the best thing to do. There’s no Maharajji outside of you. There never was. The person next to you is in a body, but their soul is no different than yours. What’s looking out of their eyes is no different than what’s looking out of your eyes. That’s consciousness, awareness. Pure Being. That’s who He is. That seemed to inhabit a body at one point, but that’s not the reality. He’s just as much here as He was then, as He was here then. Because He didn’t go anywhere. The body dropped off but who He is was never identified with the body, so anytime you think about Him, He’s actually thinking about you. Which is why you were thinking about Him. How do you like that? Q: I have to think about that. KD: That’s a good one. Two points for you. No this is kind of like a Catholic School thing. Believe it or die. It’s not like that. But my experience of Him is presence, Being. It’s not limited by time. It wasn’t then and it’s not now, you know? It’s not like that. He’s the living presence within. There’ s a word called Antaarayami, which means the indwelling presence. What’s looking out of your eyes, your true nature, your pure consciousness. Not self-consciousness. Pure being. Not ego consciousness. Not separate awareness but pure awareness, which is what’s hearing through your ears, seeing through your eyes, tasting on your tongue, feeling in the skin. And there’s another one. So, that’s presence. That’s being. That’s the true nature of a saint. And that’s our true nature, we just don’t know it. So, there’s no… Read the stories and see if you get any feeling or any kind of feeling of, if it touches you in anyway. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t matter. I mean, you can’t, there’s no sense trying something that’s not happening. Maybe it’s not your path. Just because other idiots respect him doesn’t mean you’re supposed to. What if they’re wrong? Why would you want to be wrong? Listen to yourself. The problem is you’re not listening deeply enough to yourself. That’s the real issue. You’re not feeling. You’re not, you’re looking to feel something from outside in a sense. You think He’s out there and you want to connect with Him. It’s not like that. He’s not out there, in fact, there is no “out there” there’s only here. But we’re not here, so we’re lost. We’re in dreamland. Sleepy-poo. So, when we wake up, you’ll remember everything. That’s what the Band said. So, just be you and the longing that you have, that’s what you need to get in touch with. It’s not longing to find out who He is. It’s longing to know yourself. And to feel something real inside yourself. So, pursue that. Don’t worry about where it comes from, what it looks like, who has it, who doesn’t have it. Find out who you are. Find out what’s important to you and why. Find out what that longing is and where it’s taking you, where it wants to take you and follow it. Don’t, you can’t write the end of the story before you start living it. You have to kind of, it’s a story that unfolds as time goes on. That’s the beauty of the path. We don’t know where it’s leading. We just know we’re on it and we want to be on it and we’re working to get more present and more full hearted, whole hearted about life. You know? And He said that, He said, “When you think of me, I’m there.” He said that. So, either that means something to you, or you go, well, let me see. Prove it. So maybe He will, maybe He won’t. Maybe it’ll come to you, maybe it won’t. This one time, we were living in the nearby town and going every day to the temple to hang out with Him, so I’d spend all day inside the temple with Him then I’d go back to my room and I’d go to sleep and I’d dream about Him all night long and I’d go the temple the next day, then I’d go back and I’d dream about Him all night long. So, one day I said, “Maharajji, when I, at night, when I’m sleeping and I dream about You and I see You in the dream, do you see me?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “No, I mean, at night, in the dream, at that time, when I’m seeing you in the dream, do You see me?” He said, “Yes.” “No no no. I mean, in the dream when I’m seeing You then, are You seeing me?” “YES.” So, how He put up with us, you know, He was always going… “these westerners, oh my God. What am I going to do with them?” but on the other hand, He said, He would say to the Indians, “You miserable bastards come here, all you want is stuff from me. You want kids, you want jobs, you want healing, you want all this stuff. Look at these people, they don’t want anything, all they want is God.” We looked at each other. “Really?” Hm. “Let’s see, I was trying to get laid last night. What is He talking about?” But in retrospect, it was true. We didn’t know anything. I was 23, I didn’t have a life. I hadn’t done anything. And all I wanted to do was sit there and stare at Him for the rest of my life. That was all I wanted. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to do anything. And even if I wanted to do it, I wouldn’t have done it, because I wanted that more than anything else. I didn’t think of it as God. Because God is like, up in the sky up there and only crazy people believe in that. I thought of it as Love. I had finally found real love. And I had found somebody who loved me more than I could love myself, but somebody who accepted my love, too. It’s astounding. Who knew? Nobody on Long Island, that’s for sure. But it was another way of living. It was, these people lived a different kind of life. I remember one family I knew used to come once a year, or maybe twice a year, to do puja to the Guru, worship the Guru, and they’d bring their fruit and the special stuff and everything. They came twice a year. The rest of the time they were in this little town like 20 minutes away, 40 minutes away, and I would look at them and I’d think, “What’s wrong with these people? They don’t come for month after month after month? They just stay in their house and they stay home? What’s wrong?” There was nothing wrong. The point was that they were with Him no matter where they were and I couldn’t get 10 feet away from Him without having a nervous breakdown. There was nothing wrong, my head was on crooked. So, you know, it’s all about finding that connection inside and feeling it, really feeling it and tasting it and making it, recognizing it and seeing that it’s more real than anything else in your life. And without that connection, nothing, everything is kind of grey. But when you feel that connection, when you’re with it, everything is colorful and lit up. So, you call it what you want to call it and don’t call it anything until you feel it. It doesn’t have to be, look like that, you know? That’s not required. He doesn’t look like that. That’s just one phantasmagorical shape that He took for our sake. So, and for the people who had the karmas with that manifestation. And you can’t understand who He is anyway. He’s not a human being. Even when He was in a human body. It didn’t work like ours worked. One time I was at Dada’s house. Dada was one of Maharajji’s great devotees. There’s a book called “By His Grace,” which is so incredible. You should read it. You can actually get it on kindle now, because it’s hard to find a hard copy. Dada was so great. He was a communist economics professor in Allahabad and he was living in the house of his aunt with his wife. A small little house with his aunt and his mother and it was another relative’s house. So, one day, Dada sees his wife going out and he says, “Where are you going?” And she said, “Well, we heard that there’s this Baba who comes to the little house across the street and we’ve been waiting to hear when He comes so we can go see Him. And we found out He’s there today so we’re going to see Him.” “Oh good, you go” Dada didn’t give a shit about anything spiritual. He didn’t care about Babas, yogis, saints, nothing. He didn’t care about any of that. He was a communist economics professor. So, his wife goes out, her name was Kamala. She went out with his mother; they went across the street and they came back in like two minutes. And Dada said, “What’s wrong, why did you come back?” She said, “Well, we walked into the little house. It was dark in this little hut. And the Baba was sitting on a little cot and I walked in and He says, ‘Go home, go home.’ And I didn’t know what to do. So, I sat down. Then He looked at me again, He said ‘Kamala, go home. Your husband’s friends are waiting for their tea.’ “He called her by her first name. He’d never met her before. “Kamala go home. Come tomorrow.” So, they had to leave. So, she told this to Dada, her husband and so that peaked his curiosity. So, the next day, he went over with her and they go into this, they kind of had to get into this, it was a mud house, a mud hut. They kind of get in there, and the minute they walk in, this Baba stands up, grabs a hold of Dada’s hand and starts walking out of the house, crossing the street to Dada’s house. And as He’s walking, He looks at Dada and He said, “From now on, I’ll be staying with you.” Can you imagine? You just came out of the stop and shop and some homeless gets in your car and says, “From now on, I’ll be staying with you.” I don’t think so. But Dada being who he is and having the karmas that he had, he just went along with it and Maharajji, they went into the house, Maharajji sits down, in a few minutes the people from across the street came over and then the word spread and people started coming from everywhere and the house filled up with people and then the ladies started preparing food and everything and bhajans started going on and, from then on, He went to Dada’s house. And it’s a great book. There’s all these amazing amazing wonderful stories in it. Now why was I telling you that, that’s what I can’t remember. Let me drink some more coffee. I might remember. Worship. We were talking about worship. I wanted to share and talk a little bit about the prayer, the arati prayer, which I will do when there’s no more questions. When nobody has anything more to say. We’ll do it before we leave. Q: I’m trying to, I’ll just say it the way it comes out, pretend that I have a practice. KD: Me, too. Q: For some reason, I live in Florida and when I went to Florida, I understand that part of a practice is a community. So, I found a Tergar community. KD: Oh. Mingyur Rinpoche Q: Yes. Yes. And I love the community. KD: The best. Q: They say… thank you, is if you don’t meditate, you don’t make the commitment, 20 minutes a day for three months and I’m not going to skip it, you’re not doing the practice. KD: Ok. That’s what they… every lineage has their requirements, you know? Go ahead, sorry. Q: It doesn’t work for me. Sometimes I’m tired. KD: Twenty fucking minutes doesn’t work for you? Give me a break. Q: You’ve got it. Well that’s because I’m so fucked up. KD: Just sit there. Pretend you’re meditating and tell them you did. What the fuck’s wrong with you? Q: Anyway, I want to negotiate, right? KD: No, you don’t negotiate with Rinpoche. You sit. Q: yeah. But I want to say, I chanted today for an hour. KD: That doesn’t count. Q: Yeah. I’m looking for help. KD: I’m giving it to you. Sit your ass down for 20 minutes and shut up. Q: Why does? Ok, so you meditate, you’ve got a monkey mind. You come out with… KD: You just sit with it. You’re not supposed to, what can you do with the monkey, nothing, give it a banana and calm it down, but you just sit there. 20 minutes. Q: If you chant, right, you don’t have enough space for that monkey. So why isn’t that as good. KD: The problem is, it’s probably the monkey chanting. You just don’t realize it. Q: Even if I’m doing it alone in my bedroom. KD: That’s the monkey, yeah. I can tell you right off. It’s the monkey. You think it’s you but it’s the monkey. Q: That’s for not helping. KD: No, let’s put it this way, have you met Mingyur Rinpoche yet? Q: No, I went to a mini-meditation weekend KD: Have you seen any of His videos and stuff? Q: yes. KD: If you feel drawn to Him and His teaching, your requirement is to sit for 20 minutes a day. It’s just that simple. Because what He is transmitting, and the lineage He’s transmitting, that’s the way that lineage works. Now, our lineage is very unusual. You know, there’s Ashtanga yoga, the eight limbed yoga. Maha…

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