Black Girls Heal

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**Black Girls Heal**

Black Girls Heal helps women break out of cycles of unhealthy relationships with unavailable partners and feeling not enough by combining coaching, therapeutic support, and practical tools. Every episode, we will talk about intimacy, attachment, healing unresolved trauma, and growing in our self worth.

Latest Episodes:

#265: 3 Hidden Ways We Ignore (and Encourage) Red Flags in Others Oct 23, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, I review 3 hidden ways we may unknowingly ignore (and encourage) red flags in new people we meet.

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#264: “Am I Quitting?” and the Future of Black Girls Heal Oct 17, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, I talk about why I'm quitting and what's coming next for Black Girls Heal!

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Register for the BGH Lover Girl's Weekend Workshop on Saturday,, February 8, 2025 at blackgirlsheal.org/events
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled. Get 25% off enrollment through November 1st using the code NEWSTUDENT
Book a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#263: Checking the Facts When You're in Conflict Oct 01, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we explore the importance of checking the facts when feeling threatened, especially for those healing from trauma.

We discuss how trauma can heighten our threat response, making it difficult to discern real threats from perceived ones. The episode delves into the skill of 'checking the facts,' a concept derived from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), outlining practical steps to take for regulating emotions and improving conflict resolution.

My personal stories and examples highlight the nuances of threat perception, emotional regulation, and the impact of trauma on relationships.

We also tackle the challenge of making amends if you realize you've misunderstood a situation or person.

Tune in for essential tips on fostering better personal relationships and self-awareness.

In this episode, we cover…

01:06 Understanding trauma and threat response
02:55 The skill of “Checking the Facts”
04:20 Dialectical Behavior Therapy Explained
07:03 Personal reflections on trauma responses
18:42 Steps to check the facts
30:17 Why you should challenge your assumptions
44:36 How to make amends with healthy and available people

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Book a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#262: What To Do When You Feel Rejected Sep 25, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the poignant topic of rejection, inspired by heartfelt conversations from my recent cruise trip. Focusing on love addiction, I discuss the fear of abandonment and the insecurities it breeds.

Together, we explore how to cope with rejection, understand its impact, and reclaim our power. You'll learn about the importance of not internalizing rejection, viewing it as a reflection of the other person's issues, and embracing your true self.

Join me as we unravel the layers of rejection and discover ways to heal and grow.

In this episode, we cover…

02:29 How to cope with rejection
05:23 Examples of rejection
07:23 Dealing with rejection
14:39 Why you should embrace your true self
22:01 Avoiding relationship pitfalls

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#261: The Importance of Pacing While Dating + Checking In Sep 17, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into a major milestone — our very first video podcast episode! After years of audio-only recordings, I am showing up in video to connect with you more intimately.

I start with a heartfelt check-in, sharing my personal experiences of transitions and the collective 'hell' many of us have gone through recently in various aspects of our lives.

Today's episode is all about understanding the importance of pacing in dating for love addicts, discussing how unresolved traumas, father wounds, and touch starvation can lead us to rush into relationships. Learn practical steps on how to pace yourself, maintain your identity, and find joy in your current life while still holding space for the love you desire.

Plus, get updates on the new format of the Recovery School and upcoming changes in my services. This episode is packed with insights and actionable advice to help you on your journey to healing and self-love.

In this episode, we cover…

04:09 Navigating personal transitions
06:05 Why you should embrace the unknown
13:22 Healthy Love vs. Love Addiction
19:14 The importance of pacing in relationships
30:06 Leveling up in healing
32:22 How unresolved father wounds affect pacing in relationships
39:09 What is touch starvation?
47:30 How to ground in your own life
54:20 Upcoming changes and announcements to Black Girls Heal

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Book a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#260: Doing No Contact with a Co-Parent Sep 03, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I delve into the intricacies of implementing a no-contact process while co-parenting. This much-requested topic focuses on maintaining emotional neutrality and setting firm boundaries when you have to communicate with a co-parent for the sake of your children.

I’ll share practical steps and tips designed to help you stay centered and avoid the emotional triggers that led you to this place.

Disclaimer: This advice is not suitable for relationships involving physical domestic violence; please seek appropriate support if that is your situation.

In this episode, we cover…

01:41 Challenges of co-parenting during no-contact
03:23 An important disclaimer
05:50 Importance of emotional neutrality
11:48 Seeing your co-parent as a co-worker
24:13 Using parenting apps for communication
27:00 How to set boundaries to avoid emotional traps
31:40 How to deal with toxic relationships
39:28 Communicating with children during no contact

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Get the support of our 90-Day No Contact Support Kit to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.
Listen to Episode 253: The 4 Steps of No Contact
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#259: What to Do When You Like Someone as a Love Avoidant Aug 27, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we're diving into the world of love avoidance and how to navigate new relationships when you're healing from it. We'll talk about understanding intimacy disorders, recovering from those avoidant patterns, and how to communicate your needs in a healthy way.

Whether you're just starting in your recovery, you're in a new relationship, or even in a long-term one, this episode is packed with tips to help you stay balanced and build stronger connections.

In this episode, we cover…

01:33 Understanding Love Avoidance
02:30 The different archetypes of intimacy disorders
03:22 How to navigate love addiction and avoidance
05:26 Practical tips for love avoidants
10:12 Ways to share your life as a recovering love avoidant
19:00 How to initiate compliments and kindness
25:09 Why you should embrace vulnerability

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Listen to Episode 258: What to Do When You Like Someone as a Love Addict
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#258: What to Do When You Like Someone as a Love Addict Aug 20, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the intricacies of managing romantic relationships for those in recovery from love addiction.

We discuss the importance of staying in touch with your body, practicing self-affirmation, and maintaining your own life and identity. These actionable tips are geared to help you stay balanced while developing healthy, secure connections. Whether you're in a new relationship or already partnered, these strategies will guide you towards emotional stability and personal growth.

In this episode, we cover…

01:08 Understanding love addiction
02:22 Symptoms of love addiction
04:07 Keys to staying balanced in relationships
13:38 The importance of self-affirmation
21:14 Why you should maintain your own life

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#257: How Fantasy Fuels Unrealistic Expectations Aug 13, 2024

Show notes

You know that feeling when things don't go as planned and you're left feeling disappointed? Yeah, we've all been there. This week on the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving deep into how to manage unrealistic expectations and fantasies in your relationships so you can avoid those heartbreaks.

We're going to break down how to set realistic standards, the difference between your hopes and someone else's reality, and why putting people on pedestals is a one-way ticket to heartbreak.

Tune in to learn how to keep your heart happy and your expectations in check.

In this episode, we cover…

03:32 Understanding why you have unrealistic expectations
04:02 The impact of high expectations in relationships
04:35 How to balance standards and emotional safety
05:43 Why you should see people for who they are
10:16 How to avoid the pedestal trap
15:59 Breaking the cycle of unrealistic expectations

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#256: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Sparks Addictive Relationships Aug 06, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal, we’re going to be talking about something really deep today: how what happened to us as kids can mess with our love lives BIG TIME. We're diving into childhood emotional neglect and how it can lead to those addictive relationships we sometimes find ourselves in.

It's wild how many of us deal with the fallout from not feeling seen or heard as kids. It's like this sneaky little pattern that shows up in our adult lives, making us chase love in all the wrong places. We'll break down what emotional neglect actually looks like, how it sticks with us, and how it sparks addictive relationships.

Don't worry! This episode isn't just about the problem. We're gonna talk about healing too. It's all about understanding where this stuff comes from so we can start breaking those unhealthy patterns and building the love we deserve.

In this episode, we cover…