Black Girls Heal

Latest Episodes:

#255: Hard Lessons Learned After 10 Years in Love Addiction Recovery Jul 30, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I dive deep into the lessons I've learned over my 10 years of recovery from love addiction. This journey has been incredibly personal and transformative. Many of you have watched and supported me through it all—clients, friends, and those who know me through this podcast. I reflect on the challenges, the growth, and the relationships that have shaped me, culminating in a discussion inspired by a poignant poem that has guided me.

Join me as I share my story, my insights as a therapist, and the lessons that have helped me build a stronger, healthier relationship with myself. Whether you're just starting your journey or have been here for a while, I hope my experiences resonate with you and offer inspiration for your own path to self-acceptance and self-love.

In this episode, we cover…

00:57 My journey of love addiction recovery
02:09 The poem that changed everything
03:37 My personal background and struggles with love addiction
06:56 Lessons from my love addiction recovery journey
13:08 The turning point in my love addiction recovery journey
15:29 How I embraced self-love and independence
39:03 Final reflections and takeaways

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Join our 90-Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

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#254: How to Stop Financial Codependency Jul 23, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive deep into financial codependency—a pattern where you feel obligated to support others financially, even to your own detriment. We explore its roots, how it manifests in various relationships, and the emotional toll it takes.

You'll learn about practical steps to break free from this cycle, including a 90-day no-contact financial challenge to help reset your finances and reclaim your well-being. We also provide resources to support your journey, including workshops on money trauma and no-contact groups.

Join us as we focus on reclaiming control, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing self-care in your financial life.

In this episode, we cover…

02:47 What does financial codependency mean?
03:47 How to recognize financial codependency in relationships
08:21 How to start breaking the cycle of financial codependency
25:52 How to implement no-contact with financial codependency
32:34 Practical steps for financial independence
43:16 Resources to support your no-contact journey

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Join our 90-Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.
Start healing the wounds that sabotage financial goals, increase fear and anxiety around money, and interrupt the ability to enjoy financial abundance and prosperity through the Money Rehab workshop.
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#253: The 4 Steps of No Contact Jul 16, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I talk about the power of "no contact" as a tool to finally break free from toxic relationships.

You know how it goes – you finally decide to walk away, but somehow, you end up back in contact with that person who just brings you down. It's frustrating, right? Well, here's the thing: most setbacks in our healing journeys happen because we keep connections with folks who are bad for us.

In the episode, I'll walk you through four key steps to make no-contact work. We'll talk about the withdrawal symptoms you might experience, both physical and emotional (because yes, this can be a rollercoaster!). I'll also share tips on setting intentions for your no-contact period and how to cut off those lingering fantasies that hold you back.

In this episode, we cover…

00:58 What is No-Contact?
02:45 Why you should take a 90-day break
03:10 Four steps to no-contact
03:47 Withdrawal symptoms you might experience
16:20 What it looks like to cut off all contact
21:17 How to cut off lingering fantasies
29:26 Support resources to start your no-contact journey

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Join our 90-Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#252: Don’t text them - Sit on Your Hands Jul 09, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we revisit the topic of 'No Contact' and the seven-day 'Don't Text Them: Sit on Your Effing Hands Challenge.' This discussion is aimed at those caught in addictive or trauma-bonded relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships.

We discuss topics like recognizing toxic relationships, the importance of breaking the cycle for self-healing, and the benefits of having a support system during this process.

We also touch on the new 90-Day No Contact Support Group, offering 90-day support for those serious about cutting trauma bonds. Tune in to learn why you deserve fulfilling relationships and how to reclaim your power and joy.

In this episode, we cover…

01:05 The importance of no contact
05:04 The Sit on Your Hands Challenge
05:28 Who this episode is for and not for
16:34 How to recognize avoidant behavior
21:58 How to start making decisions from a place of wholeness
23:13 Implementing the Sit on Your Hands Challenge
24:06 Handling communication during the challenge
25:08 Ways to focus on yourself and other relationships
28:58 How to respond to their messages
32:42 Ways to engage in self-care and hobbies

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Join our 90 Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Join our new free Black Girls Heal Circle Community Jul 04, 2024

Show notes

Join our free Black Girls Heal Circle Community for access to:

Inspiration and support regarding love addiction, love avoidance, healing trauma and improving your self esteem
Access to our free resource library
Connect & build sisterhood with other women on their healing journey as well

Click here to join the new free Black Girls Heal Circle Community

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#251: Surrender and Letting Go (Just Let Them Be) Jul 02, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we discuss the challenging yet liberating process of surrender and letting go. We explore themes such as grieving, setting boundaries, and focusing on self-love, supported by a poignant poem 'Just Let Them' by Cassie Phillips.

We also go into the three key takeaways: realizing you can't control others, being open to love and connection, and mastering the art of balanced surrender.

Additionally, we introduce various support resources including the co-contact support group, love avoidance healing programs, and more. This episode is a heartfelt guide towards self-healing and embracing the goodness life offers.

In this episode, we cover…

01:00 Why surrendering and letting go are necessary
02:32 Poem: Just Let Them by Cassie Phillips
04:17 Reflections on the poem
10:36 Takeaway 1: Realizing you can't control others
16:52 Takeaway 2: Being available to let others in
30:42 Takeaway 3: Why you must surrender
36:44 Program announcements

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Pre-enroll in The Prosperous Podcaster and save $250 off. We start on July 2, 2024.
Sign up for the Healed and Loved Woman Retreat waitlist.
Join our 90-Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#250: How to Feel Deserving Jun 25, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we discuss the crucial topic of feeling deserving and why it's essential for receiving the love you desire. We explore how internalizing negative beliefs and trauma can lead to feeling undeserving, even when we outwardly affirm our worth.

You'll learn practical steps to identify the emotional 'weeds' that choke your growth, including energy-draining relationships and perfectionist tendencies. Additionally, we discuss the importance of self-love, self-compassion, and clearing stored trauma from your body.

This episode aims to guide you through the first step of the four-step bloom method to help your relationships flourish, ensuring you are on the path to feeling truly deserving of love and happiness.

In this episode, we cover…

01:03 Understanding deservingness
03:04 Identifying emotional weeds
05:13 Clearing emotional blockages
05:29 Identifying energy drains in your relationships
09:43 How perfectionism plays a role in low self-worth
22:39 Tools for healing
27:24 Why you need to consider bodywork to heal trauma

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Listen to Episode 248: Getting Out of the Negative in Relationships
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#249: Conquering the Fear of Being Seen Jun 18, 2024

Show notes

In today’s episode, we get into the topic of the fear of being seen, exploring the underlying trauma that leads to avoidance behaviors and vulnerability in relationships.

We discuss the common thoughts, actions, and patterns that arise when individuals struggle with feeling exposed and unworthy. Additionally, we address the impact of childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and exclusion on the development of these fears.

Episode 249 also highlights the symptoms of low self-worth and how they manifest in perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment.

In this episode, we cover…

04:04 Common patterns when you have a fear of being seen
04:48 The risk of personal development
07:55 Using perfectionism and people-pleasing as ways to exempt yourself from criticisms
11:09 Self-abandonment as a means to hide yourself
12:09 Making a list of things you're proud of about yourself
13:16 Why being humble is actually quiet confidence
14:47 Why you're afraid of people getting access to you
15:45 The traumas that lead to fear of being seen
21:08 How the fear of being seen manifests for love addicts
25:04 How the fear of being seen manifests for love avoidants
26:45 Disassociating to keep yourself safe
31:28 How to work on your fear of being seen

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Sign up for the Healed and Loved Woman Retreat waitlist.
Listen to Episode 163: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Leads to Love Addiction
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#248: Getting Out of the Negative in Relationships Jun 10, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, I discuss the importance of moving from negative relationship patterns to positive, healed, and love-filled connections. I also talk about the common pitfalls of remaining in negative relational spaces, the impacts of childhood emotional neglect, and the signs of low self-worth.

You’ll get to know what it means to reach a baseline in emotional health and relationships and, ultimately, how to grow towards a healed and loved woman status. Listen to get actionable advice on stepping away from unhealthy relationships, identifying roadblocks, and embracing one's personal needs.

In this episode, we cover…

06:45 Why you operate in a deficit in relationships
12:19 How childhood emotional neglect affects you and your relationships
16:54 What it looks like to be in a relationship with a dominant and passive partner
18:44 The risk that happens when you still don't get to the baseline of relationships
22:12 Why you still struggle with low self-worth (even if you don't think that you are)
25:50 Why you need to make yourself available for happiness
31:13 The healed and loved woman standard for relationships
32:40 What it looks like to be in the negative baseline in relationships
33:44 What the baseline standard is for relationships
40:06 Why you're encouraged to do healing work in a community
41:09 Shena's personal story of healing in a community
41:57 Why you need to share your story
42:48 No contact as a healing agent

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Join the FREE Recovery School Open House on Tuesday, June 18th at 6:30 PM CST. Register here.
Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
Listen to Episode 239: Secret Narcissistic Lovebombing Techniques that You Need to Know
Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

#247: 3 Signs You've Grown and Are Healthier Jun 03, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, let’s discuss the importance of recognizing and celebrating personal growth. Reflecting on past conversations with coaching students, I explore three key signs that show how much you've evolved: pausing before reacting even when hurt, becoming open to alternative viewpoints, and feeling and validating your emotions. Alongside these insights, we discuss the impact of sharing emotions with safe individuals and re-evaluating your social circle for healthier relationships.

We have been very attuned to keep our focus on our shortcomings but rarely do we allow ourselves to celebrate the progress that we’ve been making in our inner work.

Tune in to learn how to acknowledge your progress, appreciate your journey, and break unhealthy patterns for a better tomorrow.

In this episode, we cover…