Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

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Comedy
**Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet**

A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by siblings Xandy and Christine Schiefer.

Latest Episodes:

349: Reviews of T.J. Maxx Aug 06, 2025

Show notes

This episode is best enjoyed in a T.J. Maxx bathroom.

Support weirdos making movies: ⁠⁠⁠https://gofund.me/9a321873⁠⁠⁠

Indy and Detroit here we come!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour

Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy

We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store

Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer

Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy

Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

348: Reviews of Banned Books Jul 30, 2025

Show notes

Support weirdos making movies: ⁠⁠https://gofund.me/9a321873⁠⁠

Indy and Detroit here we come!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour

Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy

We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store

Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer

Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy

Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

347: Reviews of GameStop Jul 23, 2025

Show notes

Not to be confused with GayStop

Schiefer Madness Productions appreciates you: ⁠https://gofund.me/9a321873⁠

We're coming to Indy and Detroit next!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour

Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy

We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store

Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer

Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy

Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

346: Reviews of Petting Zoos Jul 16, 2025

Show notes

Support Xandy's dreams if you want but no pressure: https://gofund.me/9a321873

We're coming to Indy and Detroit next!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour

Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy

We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store

Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer

Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy

Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

345: Reviews of Build-A-Bear Workshop Jul 09, 2025

Show notes

Grab mom’s credit card, we’re going to BAB!

San Francisco show is TONIGHT!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour

Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy

We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store

Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer

Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy

Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

344: QVC Reviews Jul 02, 2025

Show notes

We love VPH aka Our Lady of QVC

Come see us in California!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour

Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy

We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store

Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer

Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy

Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

343: Reviews of Cocktail Recipes Jun 25, 2025

Show notes

I'll take a Dirty Jimmy Carter on the rocks, please.

SEE US LIVE! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour

Join our Patreon to send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy

We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store

Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer

Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

342: Reviews of Bicycle Stores Jun 18, 2025

Show notes

This episode we learn how to fix your bike's jickle flamber.

We're performing in Florida tonight and tomorrow!!

https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour

Join our Patreon to send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy

We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store

Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer

Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy

Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

341: Reviews of Farmers' Markets Jun 11, 2025

Show notes

Don't listen if you have a mealworm phobia.

See you in Florida in one week!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour

Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy

We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store

Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer

Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy

Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

340: Reviews of Hard Seltzer Jun 04, 2025

Show notes

Be careful listening to this episode while in ketosis.

Our tour starts in two weeks!!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour

Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy

We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store

Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer

Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet

Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy

Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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