Absolutely Not

Latest Episodes:

George Clooney with Special Guest Jeff Daniels Sep 21, 2021

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is recording from her hotel in Venice,Italy. She has already spent too much money and is waiting for the hotel to kick her out once they realize she cannot actually afford this lifestyle. Jeff and Heather discuss the rose and thorn of their trip thus far and hopefully their marriage makes it to the next stop, Firenze.

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Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Must Be Nice! Sep 15, 2021

Show notes

On this episode of Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has come unhinged with the bullshit. Between Jeff's sweaty ass and everyone giving their opinion on everything, MUST BE REAL NICE SHERYL, to blow up your own facebook with insanity. She's hitting the Absolutely Not line and its very clear y'all are rolling into fall on the hot mess express.

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Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Cody From New Jersey Sep 11, 2021

Show notes

On this episode Heather breaks down her trip to Vegas, how she survived but wishes she had a scooter the whole time. She's taking your calls from the Hotline and giving you a hot safety tip reminder! Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely

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To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to VIZZYHARDSELTZER.COM/ABSOLUTELY.

See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This Girl's Gotta Eat! Sep 01, 2021

Show notes

Heather is joined by Ashley Hesseltine and Rayna Greenberg, hosts of the Girls Gotta Eat Podcast to chat all things tour life, unruly fans and wild college memories. Buckle in for this one!

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Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100

See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Spread Thick Aug 29, 2021

Show notes

Heather is back in LA and she is hot and bothered - literally! In todays' episode Heather talks tour life, gives her best dating advice and stalks an LA masseuse (were looking at your Ruben). Buckle up for this wild ride!

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Birch is giving 200 dollars off ALL mattresses and 2 free eco-rest pillows at BirchLiving.com/absolutely

Get 20% off your first mani system when you use promo code ABSOLUTELY at oliveandjune.com

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Every Body, Rock your BODY! Aug 25, 2021

Show notes

Heather has teamed up with Old Navy for this episode all about bod-equality and being your most "boss a$$ b*tch" self. She also gets into the perils of cat-fishing, why all Scottish men are hot and why women should really just lean the f*ck out.

See Oldnavy.com/bodequality for additional details. Styles subject to availability.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Roll Tide! Aug 21, 2021

Show notes

Heather gets down and dirty with her thoughts on the Alabama Sorority Rush craze and recounts her own experiences as a southern sorority girl!

This episode is brought to you by Venus. Check out gillettevenus.com to learn more about why these products have been flying off shelves everywhere.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wash Your Mouth out with Soap Aug 18, 2021

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back on the road tearing it up one club at a time. She's in Arkansas and happier than a literal pig in shit to be telling jokes again. She's wrestling with a lil razorback aka all y'alls problems from the Hotline too! Shits getting wild, we got ladies suckin on bars of soap In Target!

Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

Go to CheapCaribbean.com/Absolutely-Not to get a great deal. We’ll see you on the beach.

To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to VIZZYHARDSELTZER.COM/ABSOLUTELY

Head over to NoDaysWasted.CO/ABSOLUTELY and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order and free shipping in the US.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

To Be Honest Aug 11, 2021

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather answers the age-old questions of "How do I get back at my ex-fiance?", "Why is everyone an idiot?", "Is the world ending?" ya know, light hearted life advice and such. She hits the Absolutely Not Line while shamelessly plugging her comedy tour she is desperate for you to come to.

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Go to Tradesy.com to get $100 off your first purchase of $500 or more with code ABSOLUTELY

Go to Brooklinen.com and use promo code absolutelynot to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Communal Dildo Aug 04, 2021

Show notes

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather hit the Absolutely Not line with all of your insane but very valid issues. It's apparent no one at the CDC knows what's going on and we apparently all need to freshen up on our Morris code, because a storm is -A-brewing!

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Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.