Absolutely Not

Latest Episodes:

F Them with Keltie Knight Nov 11, 2026

Show notes

On this episode, Heather welcomes another red carpet queen to the pod, Keltie Knight. Keltie is about to launch her book, The F*ck Them Theory and is reminding Heather how she needs to toughen up when dealing with these Hollywood folks. They have a behind the scenes convo about the carpet, celebs and how we all need a little gossip. You can see Keltie live on her book tour and pre order her book now.

Episode Sponsors:

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I Got Fat Nov 06, 2026

Show notes

On this bonus episode, Heather comes clean about her recent realization and what she needs to do before the Absolutely Knot cruise in May 2027. She chats about her time in Cabo, LA and something top secret she did with Jackie Schimmel. One of the voicemails becomes Heather’s new favorite.

Episode Sponsors:

Squarespace: Check out https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely

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Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Alien Invasion Nov 04, 2026

Show notes

On this episode, Heather is fired up after dealing with bratty trick or treaters for the 1st Halloween at her new home. She rocked the vote, had a little Mountazuma’s revenge over the weekend, but is ready to tackle Becky Robinson’s Entitled Weekend in Tulum. She takes voicemails about the 5 day work week, the difference between theatre and comedy club shows and how thick a wine glass should be.

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Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Fruits of your Labor with Chelsea Handler Oct 28, 2026

Show notes

On this episode, Heather welcomes the comedy queen herself, Chelsea Handler to the pod for the first time. This iconic duo chats about the state of the world, their travel luxuries, and their relationship with men these days. Chelsea takes on a caller from the Not-line. Check her out on tour or at her special taping in Jersey City.

Episode Sponsors:

Quince — Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com. Free shipping and 365-day returns, now available in Canada too. Code ABSOLUTELY.

Cozy Earth — This season, head to cozyearth.com and find a CityScape set for yourself, or for the person on your list who'll actually wear it. And one quick thing after you order: you'll see a short survey asking how you heard about Cozy Earth. Let them know you heard it here on Absolutely Not.

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Zales — Find your next favorite piece on Zales.com or at a Zales store near you.

Ro Body — Go to Ro.co/Absolutelynot to see if you qualify. For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including Boxed Warning, go to Ro.co/Safety.

Thrive Market — Join Thrive Market and get $30 off your first two orders plus a free gift when you use my link, thrivemarket.com/absolutely. Get stocked before Halloween. Mandatory: say the $5 a month membership and at least two proof points.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Throwback: Jennifer Lawrence: She's Got An Oscar, I've Got Sciatica Oct 23, 2026

Show notes

On this throwback episode, we are bringing you the only good thing to come out of Covid– Heather finding out that Jennifer Lawrence is a huge fan of the pod. Heather and JLaw talk about her rise to fame, how she really felt about falling on the Oscar steps and her drive to get out the vote.

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Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hearts from Harry Styles Oct 21, 2026

Show notes

On this episode, Heather recaps her insane week in NYC doing press for her new Hulu special, By A Thread! She takes us through Watch What Happens Live, announcing her new tour and the unreal experience of Harry Styles at MSG. Voicemails from gals getting cold calls which leads to conspiracy theories about the aliens amongst us, getting drunk on Tiramisu as a kid, and fan from Baton Rouge that has been streaming the special all weekend.

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Primal Kitchen — Find Primal Kitchen at your local grocery store or on primalkitchen.com.

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Quince — Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com. Free shipping and 365-day returns, now available in Canada too. Code ABSOLUTELY.

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Pumpkin Lady Oct 14, 2026

Show notes

On this episode, Heather talks about the pressure of getting the house decorated for Halloween. The neighbors are doing construction and she is sitting in a house with no dining table, so the anxiety is high. She takes on voicemails from gals with music suggestions and one that reminds you to google it yourself.

Episode Sponsors:

Quince — Find the fall pieces you will reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Absolutely Not.

Ro Body — Go to ro.co/absolutelynot to see if you qualify. Required legal: For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including Boxed Warning, go to ro.co/safety.

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Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bonus: Call Nancy Grace, Not Me! Oct 09, 2026

Show notes

On this bonus episode, Heather is excited to share extra Absolutely Not’s that people from her Atlanta show wrote in. She tackles people's critiques about the new pod refresh and reminds everyone that she is not a crime junkie.

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Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Think 8 Steps Ahead Oct 07, 2026

Show notes

On this episode, Heather welcomes everyone to the new studio! It’s a fresh start, but we are still fired up. She chats about her upcoming shows, the Plague and of course, Gypsy Rose. We hear voicemails about women's hotel room safety, a girl who goes on an audition, and on that asks the questions: how did millennials used to pick up on trends without social media?

Episode Sponsors:

Zales — Find your next favorite piece at zales.com, or at a Zales store near you.

Squarespace — Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you are ready to launch, use offer code ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Nutrafol — Get $10 off your first month's subscription plus free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.

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Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Body by Butter with Cortney LaCorte Sep 30, 2026

Show notes

On this episode, Heather welcomes Cortney LaCorte, the original Cheese Gal, from Nashville. Her first cook book, Oversharing, is now a NY Times best selling cookbook. They chat about their love of martinis, umami flavors and a death row meal. You will definitely get hungry listening to this. They take voicemails from people who hate a boring party, people who bring extra guests and their thoughts on a potluck.

Episode Sponsors:

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Pendulum — Save up to 48% off your first order at pendulumlife.com/absolutely

Hill House Home — Visit hillhousehome.com and use code ABSOLUTELYNOT at checkout for 20% off your first purchase of $150 or more.

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Merit Beauty — Get Merit's signature makeup bag free with your first order at meritbeauty.com

Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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