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    Society & Culture

    You’re Welcome w/ Zoe Nightingale

    You’re Welcome is a satirical improv comedy show whose goal is to find and share peoples stories, from all over the world.

    Each episode is unique and can range from 5 minutes to an hour, and will feature a brand new topic usually with someone Zoe has just met. This podcast is not for the faint of heart, buckle up.

    ABOUT YOU’RE WELCOME

    Like most brilliant ideas, this show was started over a molotov concoction of alcohol and various illicit substances. Zoe had given up on her life long dream, of being the female Howard Stern years ago but finally set out armed with a folding table, a couple lawn chairs, and a foam board sign that read “Free Sex Advice.” One by one strangers stopped what they were doing and sat down to talk to them about their lives.

    We’d like to take this moment to thank you for coming to our site and leave you with the eternal words of Oscar Wilde:

    “I was under the impression that inordinate joviality can atone for an entire lack of class”

    This show is done for one reason only, to bring laughter and remind you that we are all the same.

    Advertise

    Copyright: © All rights reserved

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 30: MANDY MORBID Apr 17, 2014
    Show notes

    Oh dear. Meet Mandy Morbid, an amazing spirit who has found a way to overcome extreme adversity. Afflicted with a rare genetic discorder that causes her body to basically fall apart when she stands, she has still mustered the moxy to raise above it and become a porn star. We could all learn a thing about making lemonade from the sourest lemons.


    Episode 29 Living Legend: Harry Perry Venice Boardwalk's Musical King Apr 10, 2014
    Show notes

    The great Harry Perry, or Kama Kosmic Krusader, a caramel skinned, ocean eyed yogic musician who has dominated the Venice boardwalk since 1964. Wearing a white turban, a bright white smile, rollarblades, hockey shin guards, and playing his well-loved, target-patterned Fender Stratocaster with a tiny "pig nose" speaker tucked into his belt. At 6'4 before the blades, he is a sight to behold. Harry can be seen in several movies including 1987 - Dragnet (Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks) 1988 - You Can't Hurry Love (Bridget Fonda, Anne Bancroft) 1988 - Greetings from L.A. 1988 - Lovestruck 1993 - Point of No Return 1992 - White Men Can't Jump 1993 - Point of No Return 2009: Tenacious D Pick of Destiny Most importantly, this man has the most amazing energy and laugh, his eyes twinkle and he's been doing what he loves and making TONS of money doing it for the last 40 years all under the California Sun.


    Episode 28: Fill My Vessel With Your Jesus Love Mar 25, 2014
    Show notes

    A travesty occurred. This interview was much longer and I accidentally hit this stupid button and deleted an amazing argument about dinosaurs, homesexuality and anal sex but I was able to salvage the last end of my interactions with this lovely Jesus fanatic who stands all day every day on the Hollywood strip holding a big sign that says "Jesus Saves, Repent Your Sins" and a T shirt that said "Jesus Saves Us, I repent, Amen." He was covered in cheap prison style tattoo's and had almost demonically bright eyes that shined behind deep dark skin and a big crazy town beard. He was like a Politician who got caught having an affair, his lines were so parroted that it was literally like talking to a wall. I always have the hardest time getting non bible based responses from jesus freaks they are terrible debators factually but excellent orators and are so committed to their hooey that they always wear me down to a piece of obsidian.


    Episode 29: Darling Its Better Down Where its Wetter Mar 25, 2014
    Show notes

    Tragic. A wonderful lady who like many has come to Los Angeles to follow her dream of working as an actress. The problem is, she has yet to find work so she like many before her, has donned a disney costume and started patrolling the Hollywood strip as a sad Ariel from the Little Mermaid to make money. I met her on her first day trying this out. She was lovely, honestly, and I wish her the absolute best. She had blue glitter eyeliner that looked like it was drawn on by a five year old, purple glitter fake eyelashes and a custom made tail that was ill-fitting and accentuated all her wrong curves. I just wanted to wash her face, rip off her seashells and put some clothes on her. She gave me a hint of her acting skills with a minute long monologue that she gives whenever she goes on castings. That acting bug is a cruel and capricious mistress.


    Episode 27: But the Raven Still Beguiling all My Sad Soul into Smiling Mar 17, 2014
    Show notes

    In case you were pissed off today when Starbucks guy gave you 2 percent instead of soy, or your 4G was slow, your TIVO didn't record your favorite show, the train was late or your flight delayed... Raven is here to give you and your "problems" a much needed reality check. From her miserable childhood which lead her calling the police on her family to only then be shuffled through a litany of terrible foster parents to her years living off the streets and riding freight trains to addiction to teen motherhood, her life has been like a thriller staring Morgan Freeman and Jodie Foster. She stands tall and proud in the face of almost insurmountable abuse and neglect and made me feel an rush of gratitude for my family arguably perfect childhood. Settle in, kick your feet up and immerse yourself in the movie that is Raven her life and her triumph. Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. `'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door - Only this, and nothing more.' Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore - For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore - Nameless here for evermore. And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating `'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door - Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; - This it is, and nothing more,' Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, `Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; - Darkness there, and nothing more. Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!' This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!' Merely this and nothing more. Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. `Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice; Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore - Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; - 'Tis the wind and nothing more!' Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore. Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door - Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door - Perched, and sat, and nothing more. Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, `Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven. Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore - Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door - Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as `Nevermore.' But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only, That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered - Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before - On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.' Then the bird said, `Nevermore.' Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, `Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store, Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore - Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore Of "Never-nevermore."' But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door; Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore - What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking `Nevermore.' This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er, But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er, She shall press, ah, nevermore! Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor. `Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore! Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' `Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! - Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted - On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore - Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' `Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore - Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore - Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore?' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' `Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting - `Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted - nevermore!


    Episode 26: Comfortably Numb Mar 14, 2014
    Show notes

    I swear this guy might be Bob Dylan. The sound of his voice is epic, melodious and perfectly sums up the sound of the streets of California. I don't spend alot of time out in the wild west but every time I go I am floored at the characters that have sprouted up along the streets on on their perfect beaches. The warm weather lends itself to the creme de la creme of crazies and I spent a full day sitting and just listening to the songs they had to sing. So here we have Paul, a heroin addicted felon who was incarcerated for 20 years living on the boardwalk in Venice. Surrounded by cheeky signs asking for drugs, sex, and money he was drinking a cocktail so foul it was an epic battle to just sit next to him. He smelled like 20 years of sadness. He had deep tourquoise eyes, made even brighter by the lightning bolts of red that shot straight into his pupil. He lost his wife, his son, and his only family his daughter won't speak to him. He's got an ant farm of needle tracks criss crossing his tatted arms but he had this quiet dignity to him that was powerful and palpable.


    Episode 25: How Much Does it Cost to Resemble an Apple 2 Computer Mar 01, 2014
    Show notes

    what on earth can i even say anymore. Every single women at the dog show wants to look like an old apple computer, archaic, old, boxy, thick and absolutlely SEXLESS. This is a woman who wears a piece of filet mignon on her arm...


    Episode 24: Good Girls With No Options Feb 28, 2014
    Show notes

    . Coming from small catholic towns....rebels with a cause. Beautiful, smart and funny I wanted to just shake them and scream YOU HAVE SO many options. They assured me that this wouldn't be their career for long.. that they will one day hang up their v's and own their own line of toys, and production company and be directors instead. I tried to tell them perhaps they were too young to understand the severity of their actions and that perhaps staring in incest porn wouldn't be something they would want on their linked in profile in the future, they were non plussed. I hope desperately that this industry isn't going to devour them and leave them like a armadillo carcass for the vultures on the side of the highway.


    Episode 20: What do Ani Difranco and St John Have in Common? Feb 27, 2014
    Show notes

    I met this amazing Jane Lynch look alike at the dog show and I could tell before she even admitted to loving Ani Difranco that she also loved v on her face. I delve deeper into why ALL women in this show wear the same HORRENDOUS boxy sparkley knit lesbo power suit.


    Episode 21: Started From the Bottom Now We're...Where? Feb 25, 2014
    Show notes

    Oh what a lovely knight this was! An epic swordsman, horse rider and defender of chivalry, introducing "Sir Christopher."


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