You're Welcome w/ Zoe Nightingale - TopPodcast.com

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You’re Welcome w/ Zoe Nightingale — Society & Culture
You’re Welcome w/ Zoe Nightingale

You’re Welcome is a satirical improv comedy show whose goal is to find and share peoples stories, from all over the world.

Each episode is unique and can range from 5 minutes to an hour, and will feature a brand new topic usually with someone Zoe has just met. This podcast is not for the faint of heart, buckle up.

ABOUT YOU’RE WELCOME

Like most brilliant ideas, this show was started over a molotov concoction of alcohol and various illicit substances. Zoe had given up on her life long dream, of being the female Howard Stern years ago but finally set out armed with a folding table, a couple lawn chairs, and a foam board sign that read “Free Sex Advice.” One by one strangers stopped what they were doing and sat down to talk to them about their lives.

We’d like to take this moment to thank you for coming to our site and leave you with the eternal words of Oscar Wilde:

“I was under the impression that inordinate joviality can atone for an entire lack of class”

This show is done for one reason only, to bring laughter and remind you that we are all the same.

Copyright: © All rights reserved

Latest Episodes:

Episode 22: Real Knights Do Yoga Feb 25, 2014

Show notes

A huge bronze man in an epic beaver/lion fur robe stopped to talk to me about what it takes to be one of the main knights at Medieval Times.

Episode 23: PC Master Race Hard Style Feb 25, 2014

Show notes

I met the CUTEST boy EVER who had just turned 15. He had this whispy pubey mustache and super long hair and looked like a acned mini rockstar from the 80s. He was there with his mother who couldn't have been older than 30. He explained to me why PC gaming is so much better and his DJ style. Such a cutie...his voice kept cracking!

Episode 19: I Treat My Dog Much Better Than Your Wife Treats You Feb 18, 2014

Show notes

Introducing Bogey, the champion Samoyed. We interviewed his owner about the effects showing champion dogs can take on your sex life. Bogey was being groomed, petted and attended to by 3 asians who were literally imported from all over the world to tend to this fantastic specimen. His owner looked like he had come straight from Goldman Sachs and had the deep red lobster glow of a man whose just gotten back from Ft Lauderdale and had been wearing a flowered shirt and a jimmy buffett hat. Shockingly, his owner seemed totally willing to sell me his prized animal for the right price even when I asserted it would be to sell off as meat to koreans or for my own personal pleasure. Anyway, the dog was INCREDIBLE. Like a giant Falcor marshmallow lion teddy bear made of clouds. My apologies there is a sound of the dryer of them puffing up this fluff ball while i spoke to him, it's a tad annoying.

Episode 18: Get Down on Your Knees and Take One for the Team Feb 18, 2014

Show notes

You're Welcome was invited to cover the 2014 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. I met the most wonderful people and learned about the complicated politics behind this event. My absolute favorite was this sparkling disco ball, Darla Sue Doherty handler of Castle, a Great Pyrenees and the runner up at the Westminster Dog Show 2014. Hailing from the snowy tundras of Indiana, this woman was straight out of Best in Show and literally had a busy bee.

Episode 17: Hookers For Jesus Feb 07, 2014

Show notes

When I saw the Hookers for Jesus booth I immediately thought it was going to be some sort of obnoxious conversion freaks however these were incredibly eloquent wonderful women who turned difficulties in their life into an opportunity to help others. Yes there is an undercurrent of religion to their work, but they are helping women who have been sex trafficked or fallen through the cracks of the sex industry get a second chance at life. Through cocaine addiction, domestic violence, and cancer Annie has made it out of a devastating life as a prostitute and turned her life around now helping her fellow sex workers find a way out of a vicious cycle of drugs, death and disease. She worked under the name "Falon" for 16 years until she eventually overdosed on cocaine after being diagnosed with Lymphoma. After I talked to her two coworkers, women who had been married for 30 years to porn addicts who came to work for Hookers For Jesus after their painful divorces. They talked a lot about the devastatingly effects porn has had on their lives and what it's like now as a 50 plus woman trying to compete with the virtual world. I found them absolutely riveting, The best part was their booth was smack dab in the middle of the AVN convention, so they were trying to get these girls who were there promoting their porns to give up their life and come to God. It's like being a rehab clinic handing out pamphlets in the middle of a WMC rave. www.hookersforjesus.net (who the hell has www.hookersforjesus.com?!!)

Epidsode 16: It Must Be Your Fathers DNA Feb 03, 2014

Show notes

One of the best parts of starting this show was my mothers reaction to it. I can't begin to tell you how much fun it is to watch her respond to the different topics I bring up and her shock and confusion over the nefarious people I meet. Basically my mother has this sweet, insanely gullible head in the clouds mindset (She thought my bong was a water vase) and regardless of how many times I trick her, she always has faith that in the future I will "act with gentle loving kindness." It reminds me of the Einstein quote about the definition of insantity... It's not her fault, her name is Kathy Jane and she grew up in the 50's and wore white gloves and pearls at dinner. Her clothes had her name embroidered in them and the most trouble she ever got in was when she definantly refused to eat her Strawberry Rhubarb Pie and was sent to her room without desert. However, she's always had a problem with what she calls my "fresh" mouth, and while she's come to terms with who I am, I still have so much fun pushing her buttons. This conversation also perfectly demonstrates her complete inability to use Skype even after we've been using it for a decade together to communicate. Her camera is always pointed on her left ear, or right elbow.. Any time she leaves me a voicemail she's starts it with "hi, it's Kathy, your mother calling," as if I don't have caller ID nor the ability to ascertain within 1 millisecond it's her calling. She also signs off her texts messages letting me know who was writing...it gets me everytime. I love her so much.

Episode 15: Moby Dick is the Only Dick Jesse Jane Hasn't Seen Feb 02, 2014

Show notes

I learned so much from Miss Jesse Jane, Queen of Porn. First lesson, you can be a serious professional and not even know what LinkedIn is!! Second, how to give the perfect blow job. Third, not everyone paid attention is English Lit Class like I did. Surprisingly, my Melville reference was completely lost on this blonde bombshell. Jesse has appeared in several mainstream films and TV shows including Entourage, and starred in more than 75 adult including the most expensive Porn to have ever been made. "Pirates". (A spoof on Pirates of the Carribean!) She has an incredible array of sex toys, lubes, Fleshlights and real dolls, basically she is a super Baller with a net worth of 8 million all earned with carefully placed blow jobs, she is my HERO. She has an important lesson, love yourself and your body no matter what color or shape it comes in, lucky for her however, her's comes in the shape of sex on a stick. She's literally like a pedofiles wet dream. Introducing, the one, the only Jesse Jane.

Episode 14: You Can't Jew a Jew Jan 31, 2014

Show notes

Brian Pumper and His Little Love Muscle How do I even begin. I saw this teeny tiny black man dripping in diamond jewelry leading a giant black woman dressed in white lace lingerie (who had a foopah so large that it could have doubled as a waterbed) ON A WHITE LEASH. It was so wonderful that I ran through the casino to ask him for an interview. Let me be clear, Brian or "B" Pumper is eloquent, educated, and hilarious, and has an AMAZING list of Porn Titles under his belt. Some of my favorite are: 1. Weapons of Ass Destruction 2., Black Poles cumin up white holes 3. 1 in the pink 2 in the Stink, (which is wonderful change up of the usual saying) 4. Butts Tits Feet Mouth Dick Pussy 2, 5.Can a Brotha Get a Squirt 1, 6. Bootylicious 44: Slaves For The Black Man, 7. Black Thai Affair 8. Black on White Crime 4 9. Black in My Saddle Again 10.Beverly Hills 9021-ho 3 11. Racial Profiling 2 12.Big Black Sticks In Little White Slits 13. Where the Fuck's the G Spot? The poetry, the word play the metaphor the use of hundreds of years of racial inequality the puns, and he thought he could actually get me to pay 20 dollars to own one of them! Anyway I talked to him for hours, but I had been drinking heavily and somehow screwed up the recording so I only have some of it but ladies and gentleman, I present to you B PUMPER!!!!

Episode 13: Frankly My Dear, I Have Erectile Dysfunction Jan 29, 2014

Show notes

Oh how I loved this lovely old man...(he was born in 1938!) I found him strolling around the convention hall, his leather sholder bag stuffed full of films titled things like Mothers Vs. Daughters...He had recently lost his life long wife and was spending his days volunteering at the Zoo (i mean how adorable) and jerking off to 18 year old girls who have to hold up their passport in the beginning, probably from an eastern european country just to prove they aren't 12...Anyway I digress, he was actually really sweet and dreamed of a day when he could simply have sex with a nice girl...who was three dimensional. We talked about having sex in your third trimester of life...trust me, I think all of us should forget about all our insecurities and have as much sex as humanely possible because the future is BLEAK kids

Episode 12: I Don't Want no Short Short Man Jan 27, 2014

Show notes

I met this kevin federline (KFC version) looking man who claimed his name was Hung Low and he was from Singapore. Problem was he was wearing a collection of claire's jewelry which he called "real fake" and sounded like a cast member of jersey shore. He admitted to me with very little probing why he uses dildos...

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