What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms - TopPodcast.com

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What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

When you’re a parent, every day brings a “fresh hell” to deal with. In other words, there’s always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you’re not alone, and it won’t always be this hard.
We’re Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn’t like.
In each episode of “What Fresh Hell” we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you’ve ever wondered “why is my kid…” then one of us has probably been there, and we’re here to tell you what we’ve learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we’ve learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you’re the default parent in your household, whether you’re a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Copyright: Copyright © 2016-2023 What Fresh Hell, LLC

Latest Episodes:

Actually, We've Changed Our Minds About That Nov 11, 2020

Show notes

There are quite a few things we’ve changed our minds about over our years as parents. From minivans to Minecraft, moms on phones to kindergarten dress codes, focus meds to front-yard holiday inflatables, in this episode we discuss them all.

As always, here's our main takeaway: it's worth it to step away from the rushing stream of Other People's Opinions in order to do what's right for your family.

Special thanks to our listener Jana for suggesting this episode.

Join the conversation in our Facebook group about this topic, or whatever you'd like to talk about– 3500 no-judgment parents are waiting for you!

* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app!

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* Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast

* questions and feedback: info@whatfreshhellpodcast.com

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Ask Margaret - All I Hear is "Me First!" Nov 09, 2020

Show notes

This week Margaret answers this listener question:

"All I hear is "me first!" I have two boys, 4 1/2 and 2 years old, both constantly insisting on being first and having meltdowns when they aren't.

Doesn’t matter what it is–first to be handed their applesauce pouch, first to be unbuckled from the car seats, first to get out the door, down the stairs... help!"

Competitiveness is developmentally appropriate behavior for these kids' ages– it's reasonable behavior to expect at this age. Even so, there are ways to work against it.

It's a good idea not to respond to demands to "be first," to talk with your kids about why this behavior is frustrating (when it's not happening), and to keep working on the concept of taking turns.

In this episode, Margaret cites Karen Levine's article "Why Kids Are Competitive" for parents.com. Read it here: https://www.parents.com/kids/development/behavioral/why-kids-are-competitive/

Send us your parenting questions– we might answer yours next! questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com

* Leave us a rating or review in your favorite podcast app!

* Join us on Facebook: https://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast

* Instagram: https://instagram.com/whatfreshhellcast

* YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatFreshHellPodcast

* Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/whatfreshhellcast

* Twitter: https://twitter.com/WFHpodcast

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When To Be 'That Mom' Nov 04, 2020

Show notes

We asked all of you to tell us about the times you had to be "that mom." You responded with tales of IEP meetings, and airplanes full of tiny sacks of peanuts, and kindergarten bullies– all the times you went full mama-bear because advocating for your kid (or someone else's kid) was more important, in the moment, than being liked.

In this episode we discuss:

whether there's such a thing as "that dad" (what do YOU think?)
how to pick your battles
how to come prepared for combat but ready to listen
how to bring solutions, and not just problems

An unexpectedly touching side topic: many of you wrote in with memories of your own mom standing up for you. That's important to remember when you're being "that mom" and the biggest eye-rolls are coming from your own kid. They'll look back on that moment a lot differently.

This was such a terrific discussion on our Facebook group- join us and check out the full thread:

https://www.facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast/posts/3745278268817917

Here are links to two of our other episodes that we mention in this one, and where being "that mom" is definitely part of the picture:

Bullies (Episode 103): https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/2019/05/bullies-episode-103/

How Do We Handle This When Everyone Is Doing It Differently? (Episode 160): https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/2020/06/ep160/

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Ask Amy - What's The Right Age To Get a Cell Phone? Nov 02, 2020

Show notes

This week's question is from Britnee:

How long should we wait to get our kids a cellphone? I have a 13 year old boy who begs for a cellphone because ALL kids have one. He has a tablet and a computer so it's not like he can't contact his friends or me if need be. But I'm just not comfortable with him having access to the world– or the world having access to him–24/7.

Phones are lifelines to peers for adolescents– and more than ever during this pandemic. Kids usually get phones when their increasing independence means they need a way to contact you while they're apart from you. But even if you're spending every moment together these days, if your child is remote-schooling, social media is an important means of connection.

Britnee also mentions that her son has access to a tablet and computer, so his access to the internet (and all its wondrous horrors) already exists. The phone adds a constant-access factor, to be sure, but there are ways to put controls around that, and Amy discusses a few in this episode.

One of our favorite tools is Bark, which proactively monitors text messages, YouTube, emails, and 30+ different social networks for potential safety concerns, Use our referral code to try Bark for a week for free: https://www.bark.us/?ref=2R4XYRK.

Still, getting your child a smartphone is an intensely personal family decision, and you have to take into consideration your own child's maturity level, mental health, peers, executive function and resilience.

Send us your parenting questions- we might answer yours next: questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com.

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Oh No, It's Fall! (With Guest Biz Ellis from One Bad Mother) Oct 28, 2020

Show notes

Do you love crunchy leaves and chunky sweaters? Or do the shortening, darkening days fill you with nothing but pumpkin-spiced dread?

Amy's hiding under her weighted blanket with her pandemic gloom.

Margaret's doubling down on the backyard firepit and everything that's spooky.

And our guest, Biz Ellis of One Bad Mother, is turning the entire outside of her home into a candy-covered Halloween wonderland.

We talk about our various approaches to this year's Halloween and Thanksgiving plans- and how involving our kids in thinking creatively might just be what gets us through this very unusual fall.

Get One Bad Mother's book- and all the books you hear about on our show- in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/shop/whatfreshhellcast.

Here are links to some of the things we discuss in this episode:

CDC's Halloween guidelines for 2020: "If screaming will likely occur, greater distancing is advised."

Amy's Instagram Live conversation with Sarah Powers of The Mom Hour

Sears Wish Book

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Ask Margaret - How Can I Keep My Kid Safe While He's Gaming? Oct 26, 2020

Show notes

This week Margaret answers the question:

I know Margaret has talked about giving in to Fortnite at her house. Well I have too. My question is how do I discuss internet safety with my son (7) who wants to play online with his friends when I have no clue what playing online entails. I have never been a gamer and neither has my husband and I feel like we are flying blind. I don’t want to hold him back from socializing with friends, especially now, but I don’t want him to get into a bad situation either. Thank you guys!

In this situation (especially at 7 years old) it's important to dial in and be involved in how your kid is playing. Make sure the gaming setup is in an area you (the parents) frequent. You don't need to know how to game to overhear inappropriate comments and keep an overall eye on how your gamer is behaving. Set strict expectations around your rules for gaming and outline the consequences if they are not followed, and have conversations around violence and language that your gamer may encounter.

If you have questions for Margaret or Amy send them to: questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com

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Bonus Episode: Ask Us Anything! Oct 23, 2020

Show notes

We told you to ask us anything.

You kept it PG (thank you) and we’re giving you the answers:

What shows are we binging?

What gets us dancing in our kitchens?

What do our kids think of this show?

Listen and find out...

ver3d5zqf4UsaO0gU0rz

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Never Thought I'd Say This (Pandemic Edition) Oct 21, 2020

Show notes

“Don’t you dare hug Grandma.”

“Stop playing on the floor and get on screen.”

“Yes, we can go to the playground, but you may not play with the other children.”

We asked our listeners in our Facebook group to tell us all the things never thought we’d say– and now are. Not all of these things are bad. Amy has become a fan of dog walking, now that it's a guaranteed 15-minute respite from Zoom.

Others, of course, are not so great. Life on the coronacoaster can be pretty surprising sometimes.

(One correction: Amy makes a half-remembered Biblical reference to sparrows who neither toil nor spin. It's actually the lilies of the field.)

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Ask Amy- My First-Grader is Giving Me Homework Grief Oct 19, 2020

Show notes

This week's question is from Melissa, who says:

Sweet mother of pearl, my five-year-old is in grade 1 and I’m already getting a LOAD of sass at homework time.

Things I have tried and said to make it go more smoothly:

1. Telling him: “Everyone in your class is doing their homework right now too"

2. Sending him straight to bed after supper for yelling at me during homework... twice

3. Positivity and encouragement

4. Reasoning with him: “homework will be done as soon as you write out your words twice”

5. “Would you act like this with your teacher?”

6. Pure bribery- candy and/or tablet time.

Help- I need some new ideas!

Melissa doesn't say whether her son is attending school in person or remotely. Either way, the pandemic offers unique challenges that make the school day even more exhausting than usual, particularly for a first-grader who is only five.

Amy offers some tips on making homework time less of a burden for kids and parents, including some great ideas offered by our listeners. There's also room for a whole lot of compassion here, especially right now. A five-year-old might just be too exhausted or overwhelmed to meet these expectations. Especially right now, our children's emotional health is more important than one more math worksheet.

Amy also references our episode on homework, which you can find here:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/2017/10/episode-27-the-homework-slog/

Send us your parenting questions- we might answer yours next! questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com

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Fresh Take: Dr. Jill Stoddard Tells Us How To Manage Our Anxiety Oct 16, 2020

Show notes

In our latest “Fresh Take” episode, we're talking to Dr. Jill Stoddard, author of BE MIGHTY: A Woman's Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry & Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance.

Jill's mission is to share cutting edge, evidence-based tools based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to help people find meaning and vitality in their lives even as they struggle with anxiety.

We talk about why anxiety is a particular concern for women, especially right now– and how we an change our relationship to our anxiety and stress by becoming more flexible around it, rather than trying to shut it down.

If you'd like to find out more about Jill's book and the tools of ACT, you can sign up for a 4-week Virtual Book Club about Be Mighty, including Live Q&A sessions with Jill, here: https://www.jillstoddard.com/pages/virtual-book-club.

Jill Stoddard is a clinical psychologist and director of The Center for Stress and Anxiety Management. She is the author of two books: Be Mighty: A Woman’s Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance and The Big Book of ACT Metaphors: A Practitioner’s Guide to Experiential Exercises and Metaphors in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Dr. Stoddard is an award-winning teacher, peer-reviewed ACT trainer, and co-host of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast.

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