What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms - TopPodcast.com

View Top 200 Chart

Back to Rankings Page

What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms — Government & Organizations
What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

When you’re a parent, every day brings a “fresh hell” to deal with. In other words, there’s always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you’re not alone, and it won’t always be this hard.
We’re Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn’t like.
In each episode of “What Fresh Hell” we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you’ve ever wondered “why is my kid…” then one of us has probably been there, and we’re here to tell you what we’ve learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we’ve learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you’re the default parent in your household, whether you’re a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Copyright: Copyright © 2016-2023 What Fresh Hell, LLC

Latest Episodes:

Getting Better At Saying 'No' Oct 14, 2020

Show notes

Saying no is a lot harder for women. We’re conditioned to be compliant; studies show that by middle school, girls shy away from expressing authentic preferences in order to fit in. And when we do say no, the world holds that against us more than it would a man.

Perhaps that explains how we might find ourselves running the grade school bake sale *again,* and being resentful, when we could just have said no in the first place.

In this episode we discuss

the difference between a hard no and a soft no
where to practice your no
how to decide once what's a no
why you should say you “don’t” want to do something, instead of that you “can’t”

In order to let go of our people-pleasing tendencies, the best place to start might be by looking within. Are we really the only one who can keep her finger in the dam in this particular situation?

If not, saying 'no' might be worth the discomfort; it makes more room in our lives for the things we want to be there.

Here are links to the studies and other writing on this topic that we discuss in this episode:

Jackie Ashton for Washington Post On Parenting: The art of saying no: How to raise kids to be polite, not pushovers

Jessica Bennett for NYT: Welcome to the 'No' Club

Brené Brown for oprah.com: 3 Ways To Set Boundaries

Meghan Keane for NPR's Life Kit: How To Say No, For The People Pleaser Who Always Says Yes

Sarah Mendekick for LA Times Op-Ed: Men can’t hear it, women don’t say it — the everyday importance of ‘no’

Katharine Ridgway O'Brien: "Just Saying "No": An Examination of Gender Differences in the Ability to Decline Requests in the Workplace."

Samantha Radocchia for women2.com: LEARNING THE ART OF SAYING ‘NO’

Kristin Wong for NYT: Why You Should Learn to Say ‘No’ More Often

...and finally, the legendary E.B. White, who never had any problem saying no, reading Charlotte's Web

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Jessica Lahey on "The Gift of Failure" Oct 09, 2020

Show notes

In our latest “Fresh Take” episode, we've got an interview with Jessica Lahey, author of the bestseller THE GIFT OF FAILURE: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. The Gift of Failure came out in 2016, when giving our kids healthy doses of autonomy and outdoor exploration felt a little more possible. But even during pandemic life, there are opportunities for us to be less protective as parents and to let our kids learn by failing.

Jess tells us how to apply the book’s ideas to pandemic life, at-home learning, and living together 24/7.

Jess also tells us a little about her next book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, coming in April 2021. We can't wait!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why The Pandemic is So Hard On Moms Oct 07, 2020

Show notes

After a listener on our Facebook page declared “This is a sexist pandemic!” we got to thinking: what are the quantifiable ways in which life has gotten even harder for moms in 2020 than it has for our spouses? We all know it HAS, but why? And how?

A study from Syracuse University found that four out of five adults who have stopped their usual work schedule due to the pandemic are women.

Another study followed the possibility that, as the "invisible workload" became more visible to male spouses and children, it would spur more equal participation in household duties. That study's answer? No. They see it, they just don't care. The increased demands of this time have indeed fallen on women more.

If it's taken a million small interactions to get to the place where everybody just assumes that if there's 40% more work to do, Mom is going to do it all, it's going to take small interactions to reset that expectation as well.

In this episode, we talk about how to get started.

Here are links to the research and other writing on the topic discussed in this episode:

Elamin Abdelmahmoud for Buzzfeed: How The Pandemic Has Exacerbated The Gender Divide In Household Labor

Claire Cain Miller for NYT: Nearly Half of Men Say They Do Most of the Home Schooling. 3 Percent of Women Agree.

Jessica Grose for NYT: They Go To Mommy First

Danielle Rhubart for Syracuse University: Gender Disparities in Caretaking during the COVID-19 Pandemic

Thébaud, S., Kornrich, S., & Ruppanner, L. (2019). Great housekeeping, great expectations: Gender and housework norms

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Amy- How Can I Get My Kid To Take Her Medicine? Oct 05, 2020

Show notes

Our listener Sabrina asks:

My 4 year old daughter has a nasty ear infection. the medication she got is nasty and she wont take it. Attempting to force it ends with her spitting it out.

We tried hiding it in applesauce but she wouldn't eat it all and said it was yucky.

We've reasoned with her, bribed her, nothing works! Any ideas?

Amy's top advice for getting kids to swallow meds is... teaching them to swallow pills. You can start earlier than you think, and it doesn't have to involve tears.

Listen to this mini-episode for Amy's tips, including the "duck-shake technique," plus lots of other ideas from our listeners!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How Mad Should I Be About This? Sep 30, 2020

Show notes

You know how sometimes a loved one or friend will do something that annoys you, but then you think: is it me? How mad should I be?

Our listeners told us what past “crimes” they’re currently holding grudges about– infractions committed by their spouses, children, mothers-in-law, and even dogs.

This week we are rating each of these grudges on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is “you have no right to be angry at all,” and 10 is “no jury would convict you.”

Excluded from family photos because you’re “not really family”?

Given a suspicious regift of corporate-branded popcorn for your anniversary?

Told that you look tired, and should therefore exercise more?

Oh, you get to be angry. And this episode is just for you.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Margaret - My Husband is a Bad Disciplinarian Sep 28, 2020

Show notes

Margaret answers this week's listener question:

"How do you handle it when one partner is not a good disciplinarian? My husband is a caring and involved parent, definitely not the type to do things badly so I'll just have to do everything. Problem is, he has a really difficult time keeping our five-year-old in line, which means that anything he's in charge of turns into a huge struggle that's frustrating for everyone involved.

For example, he's in charge of bedtime. She does all kinds of things to avoid going to sleep, which is understandable, but he doesn't seem able to handle it and actually get her to sleep. I don't know what to do in situations like this. If I step in he won't figure out how to do it himself, but he also doesn't seem to be learning how to handle her!"

The rule that governs this situation is "All conversations about parenting happen when no one is parenting." You should not correct your partner while he's is the middle of trying to get your child to sleep, but you can find a calmer moment to seek out solutions to make the bedtime routine less stressful for everyone.

It's also important to "watch your story" here. Help your partner discover resources to make himself a better disciplinarian (rules such as 'only saying things once' and 'putting a time limit on bedtime interactions'). Then, forget the story of "he's not good at this," and open up the story of "he's capable of this, with a little guidance".

Submit your parenting question- we might answer yours next!

questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Meredith Masony of "That's Inappropriate" Sep 25, 2020

Show notes

In our latest "Fresh Take" episode, we're doing an extended interview with Meredith Masony, author of the new book ASK ME WHAT’S FOR DINNER ONE MORE TIME: Inappropriate Thoughts on Motherhood.

You probably already know Meredith as the comic genius behind That's Inappropriate, an online community of 3 million+ moms and strong-minded women who are not afraid to own the fact that when it comes to parenting, the struggle is real.

We discuss the crisis in Meredith's life that inspired her to tell the truth about her life as a parent, her hilarious new book, and the Hot Mess Express that is every Tuesday morning.

Grab Meredith's book here: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982117962

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Things We Can't Live Without (Fall 2020) Sep 23, 2020

Show notes

By popular request, we're back with another list of the things that are getting us through the days right now. Some of these are for our kids (since a happily occupied kid equals a mom with one less problem). Some of these are just for us.

Here are links to the some of the must-haves we discuss. If your podcast app doesn't support hyperlinks, you can also find this list at https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/2020/09/ep174/.

Uncover podcast

Etsy shops like Speck Custom Woodwork

Kids' subscription kits like KiwiCo

Wall-hanging file folders

Wireless earbuds that don't cost $100

Mini trampoline

Zero gravity chair

Pendleton blanket

Weighted blanket

Pete’s A Pizza by William Steig

Totally Rudy's DIY American Girl YouTube channel

Selling Sunset (Margaret's current "secret shame show")

Disclosure: some of the above links are affiliate links, and What Fresh Hell may receive commissions for purchases made through them. But these are all products we highly recommend!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Amy: My Tween Has Suddenly Stopped Speaking To Me Sep 21, 2020

Show notes

This week's question is from Stacey in our Facebook group:

My 12 year old daughter, seemingly out of the blue, won’t talk to me or look at me. I don’t mean talk like serious topics. I mean talk to me at all, about anything, unless I ask her a direct question.

We’ve always been close so I’m feeling very hurt. She acts fine with my husband.

Everything I read is how we aren’t supposed to take it personally, that it’s normal but I’m finding that impossible, especially when she’s joking around with her dad.

I keep reading I should just act like everything is fine but I really want to tell her she’s hurting my feelings. Should I?

It's a tween or teen's job to differentiate from their parents, to get ready to leave the nest. And if your relationship with your child was formerly very close– as Stacey's was– this separation by your teen can be even more swift and sudden, as well as way harder on the suddenly rejected parent.

Amy offers some tips on how Stacey might speak up for herself, some perspective on why this is happening, and some ways Stacey's spouse can help.

Being the rejected parent can really sting. But your child's rejection means, above all, that you've done a good enough job of loving her to make her feel safe stepping away from you, even temporarily.

In this episode, Amy refers to Janet Lansbury's writing on this topic.

You can hear more about all of this in our podcast episode "When Kids Prefer The Other Parent Over You": https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/2019/07/preferotherparent-ep115/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Back-To-School Hell (Pandemic Edition) Sep 16, 2020

Show notes

We are always a little reluctant about transitioning back to school. This year that reluctance was more properly called dread (despite the truly heroic efforts of the teachers, administrators, and staff in our children's lives. THANK YOU.)

We feel this way because we were supposed to be done by now, have this all figured out, have our kids skipping back to hug all their friends. But Back-to-school 2020 is not the finish line we thought it would be; instead, it’s a reminder that the finish line is very much not in sight.

But for us, a lot of our anxiety around this was actually anticipatory anxiety- the masks and the Zooms and School With More Rules seemed scarier in concept than it really has been in practice.

We may have fallen into "uncertainty distress," what Dr. Mark Freeston and his researchers at Cambridge call the "subjective negative emotions that one experiences in response to the as-yet unknown aspects of a given situation."

In other words, what we are dreading as our kids begin school is not actually that they have to wear a mask during PE– it's what else might happen next that we don't even know about yet.

It's possible to separate out uncertainty and threat in our minds. If we think what if school closes this winter? and feel our hearts start to race, we are reacting to the uncertainty, not to a direct threat. Worrying about each potential bad outcome before it happens will not make those things less likely to happen, but it may make us a little less nimble and ready to pivot if a threat does occur.

Whatever happens, lean on your mom friends, and remember that, as developmental psychologist Stephanie Grant explains: "Our priority as parents this fall is to remain regulated for our kids, much more than to provide academic instruction.”

Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

AL Inclusive Therapy on FB: https://www.facebook.com/ALinclusivetherapy/posts/369922694400517

Dr. Mark Freeston et al, Cambridge University Press: Towards a model of uncertainty distress in the context of Coronavirus (Covid-19) https://www.researchgate.net/publication/340653312_Towards_a_model_of_uncertainty_distress_in_the_context_of_Coronavirus_Covid-19

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Related Podcasts