What Do You Mean By That?

Latest Episodes:

178: What is Qualified Immunity, Anyway? Aug 02, 2022

Show notes

In 2020, after the murder of George Floyd, many of us heard the phrase "qualified immunity" for the first time in a new light - but what does the phrase even mean? And why is it so important when we think about police, driving (or existing) while Black, and civil rights in this country? We'll talk about all of this in today's episode, so we can help set some context for a major conversation happening in our country - one about abolition.

Listen in, and if you want more, go buy our book, Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and make sure you're following this podcast for more!

What to listen for:

What it is - Qualified immunity is a defense that law enforcement and other government officials can use in defense against lawsuits that ask for monetary damages for alleged civil rights violations. In other words, it's a way that officers can avoid being held liable for his or her actions.
Examples of when qualified immunity has been called into action, to make it easier to understand
Information about how qualified immunity is not actually a law; it was a judicial doctrine that was created and then restated by the Supreme Court through Section 1983
Why we still have qualified immunity - fear, not based in fact - and what we as a society might do differently to give victims a means of seeking justice

More information on qualified immunity through the Equal Justice Initiative and Public Justice.

Related Episodes:

Episode 67: How the US Police System has Failed Black People Since Inception Link to episodes on Black Codes

Episode 140: Becoming Abolitionists, with Derecka Purnell

177: Why Reproductive Justice Is Also About Race - Especially If You're Black Jul 26, 2022

Show notes

This episode was recorded before the Dobbs decision came out, but it highlights what we know to be true - there is a disparate impact on Black and brown women when it comes to reproductive justice in this country. And for all of you who have told us, "I'd really like to be friends with Black women, but I don't understand their experiences," you'll want to listen extra carefully.

This episode highlights all of the extra things that Black women go through when it comes to things that should be safe in our country for all women: pregnancy, childbirth, maternal mortality, and so much more. We hope you listen, and then take action in your own communities to protect the rights of all people with the capacity for pregnancy.

What to listen for:

How our politicians still seem to want to separate race from maternal health statistics, and why that couldn't be farther from the truth
Why historic inequity plays a role into not only maternal health, but fetal health, pregnancy care, and so much more
What we can do right now to be allies in this struggle that impacts all of us, including resources you'll want to bookmark

Other episodes to listen to:

Episode 13, on Racial Disparities in the US Healthcare System with Dr. Monique Rainford

Episode 68, on Why Repro Justice is Racial Justice with Mariko Miki

176: Can I Say the N-Word? Absolutely Not. Here's Why. Jul 19, 2022

Show notes

One question that comes up frequently enough from White, or non-Black, people to cause us to write not only a whole chapter in our book trying to answer it, but also record this podcast episode, is short but impactful: "Can I say the N-word?"

The short answer is no. Absolutely not. The longer answer? Listen to this episode to hear not only why you should never be saying the n-word, but also why it's so important to educate our kids to never say it either.

What to listen for:

The history of how the n-word came to be, and how it never had any other meaning besides a hateful one
Who has used the n-word throughout history (and that still never makes it okay for White people to say it)
Sara's advice for non-Black parents of non-Black kids with regard to how to teach our kids about this word

175: We're Still Talking About Slavery - and You Should Be, Too Jul 12, 2022

Show notes

So our book, Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism is broken into three sections: On Being White in America; On Being Black in America; On Being a Non-Black Person of Color in America.

And here's the question we get when people see that structure: Why do we need to focus on the experiences of Black people in this country?

In this episode, we tell you why - including sharing some things we all need to (re)learn, since it's not all taught in our schools.

What to listen for:

Establishing that slavery was part of the founding of this country
Why we are still talking about this, two years after the murder of George Floyd (including Misasha's personal feelings about her family's safety - and how that fear hasn't changed AT ALL over the last couple of years)
Book recommendations to learn more of the history we weren't taught in schools, including The New Jim Crow, The Sum of Us, How the Word Was Passed, and our book

174: Post Roe – Turning Rage Into Action Jul 05, 2022

Show notes

For the past 3+ years, we've been getting loud on this podcast, where our stated mission is to help White women use their privilege to uproot systemic racism without centering themselves in the process. This summer, we've been specifically focused on answering the question we often get, "what can we do to be more anti-racist?" and have been releasing bite sized pieces of our work, especially with regard to our recent book, so that we can help White women and allies do this work.

Then, we got a gut punch last week in the form of the Dobbs v. Jackson opinion, which effectively overturned Roe v. Wade and left the regulation of abortion access up to "elected officials of the states," which set off a number of trigger laws and leaves abortion, and reproductive justice in general, in jeopardy for anyone who has a uterus, or any birthing person, in this country.

So today, we are responding with our thoughts and suggestions.

What to listen for:

The problems we had with some of the knee-jerk reactions we saw from White women on social media
How disappointing it is to hear so many stories of senior-level White women not speaking up against this decision to remove bodily autonomy from women in the United States
Things to stop doing (stop playing the game; stop letting men control the conversation; stop resorting to performative allyship on social media,
Things to start doing (start putting being a woman first before being White; start learning from people who've been in this fight for a long time, as in, Black, brown, and other marginalized identities; start using your voice in your own spheres of influence

Sign up for our emails so you get the two-parter that's coming out with a list of the resources that we believe are going to make the most difference for the most impacted individuals: https://www.dearwhitewomen.com/email-signup

173: What to Say When You Hear "But All Lives Matter" Jun 28, 2022

Show notes

All Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter, and decentering the White experience in these conversations. That's what we're discussing in today's episode, because White people, you keep asking us what you can DO differently to be more anti-racist. And while we won't offer a checklist, we do have an incredible, level-setting book Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism that you can buy to learn more!

What to listen for:

What Black Lives Matter *really* means
Alicia Garza's quote: "Black Lives Matter doesn't mean your life isn't important - it means that Black lives, which are seen as without value within White supremacy, are important to your liberation."
The two analogies we use in reply, when someone says, "but All Lives Matter…"
An explanation for why "Blue Lives Matter" is not a valid comparison or rebuttal to Black Lives Matter

172: On Performative Allyship Jun 21, 2022

Show notes

White people, you keep asking us what you can DO differently to be more anti-racist. So this summer, we're answering that question in bite-sized ways. This isn't a checklist; this is simply a primer. If you want more, go buy our book, Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism.

Today, we're talking about what the real differences are between performative allyship and real allyship. What does it take to actually be an ally, as opposed to just calling yourself one? Listen in and share this episode with a friend you think might be able to talk with you about all of this!

What to listen for:

What performative allyship looks like, especially when it comes to social media
How to be a better White friend
What you need to DO to be a real ally (key word being DO), and concrete ways that you can make change in your own spheres of influence

Other episodes to listen to:

Episode 87, on how to be an ally when you feel overwhelmed

Episode 129, on how to have conversations past performative allyship with Jeff Harry

171: On White Privilege Jun 14, 2022

Show notes

As biracial - Japanese and White - hosts of a long-running weekly podcast, we are very aware that, given how we look, we have, at times, benefited from White privilege. We are also very clear that this is a privilege that Misasha's Black husband will never once benefit from.

Today's short episode dives into defining what White privilege is, explaining common misconceptions of the term, and what to do when we (or others) push back against accepting the truth about our privilege. Listen in and share this episode with a friend you think might be able to talk with you about all of this!

What to listen for:

What is White privilege? It means the privilege White people have of NOT getting knocked down a peg based on their skin color
Explaining common misperceptions - including making it clear that White privilege is NOT financial privilege (though governmental policy has been biased against the financial success of people of color)
How do we help ourselves when we want to deny our own privilege? What do we say when other people say they don't have White privilege?

More resources: Chapter 2 of our book, Dear White Women, Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism.

170: On Being White Jun 07, 2022

Show notes

Today, we're hitting up some of the most common points of push-back or questions we get when we talk with White people. Because let's be honest - talking about race and racism is uncomfortable… for everyone. Listen in and share this episode with a friend you think might be able to talk with you about all of this!

What to listen for:

The shift we all need to take from being "not racist" to anti-racist
Why you should never say you're colorblind
Common points of pushback, including fear of cancel culture and perfectionism
What do we say or do with our (White) kids?
The huge amount of power women have in America to make a difference

Other episodes to listen to:

Episode 71 with Colin Seale on critical thinking for kids
Episode 100 with Ervin Staub, who survived the Nazi invasion

169: Summer Kick-Off And AMA About Being Biracial May 31, 2022

Show notes

This summer, instead of spending 50-60 minutes sharing some of the most amazingly honest and thought provoking conversations that we've been personally privileged to have (the listen), or doing a deep dive into some part of our collective history that we may have never learned about in school (the learn), or sometimes getting up on our soapbox to get loud and angry about what's going on in current events and what we can do about it (the act), we're shaking things up a bit. (Don't worry - we'll definitely do all of those things in the fall…).

But in the summer, we're doing shorter, focused episodes that lean into the practical tips that we dive into in our book, get very personal with us and our work, and aim to leave you with action items and agency to keep making a difference in your own spheres of influence, even in a summer that may be less structured or busier in different ways. And this episode includes a special AMA about being biracial and the most common questions we're often asked about this part of our identities in America.

What to listen for:

How addressing both of our identities (Japanese and White) has impacted our perspectives about racism, and how that's shifted since having kids
What we think about our own racial identities
Why we believe cultivating a strong grounding in your own identities is key for biracial individuals in America

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