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Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach — Health
Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

This podcast started out as a self help podcast for moms trying to find balance in motherhood and business but morphed into a documentation of Crystal and Sean Escobar’s journey out of the Mormon church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints). The Podcast has been therapeutic on so many levels for its hosts. They vulnerably share their pitfalls and triumphs as they work to deconstruct a lifetime of indoctrination from the LDS church which they exited in the Spring of 2018. Sexual shame, marriage, parenting, science, spirituality, personal development, healing, sex abuse, are some of the topics they focus on.

At episode 100 they both decided they were done processing their experience in the church and shifted their focus on helping others heal and grow in all areas of life. Crystal became a Certified Life/ Mindset Coach in 2020 and now offers free education in personal development via her podcast.

Her mission is to help women overcome past trauma and limiting beliefs, empowering them to create the life they were meant to live through her podcast, Time Management Course, and one on one coaching services.

Schedule a free session with her to find out how she can help you.
https://calendly.com/crystalescobar/30-min-free-mini-session

Latest Episodes:

Ep #131: In the Grips of Social Media Mar 01, 2022

Show notes

I remember back when I was really actively pursing my goal to grow my Instagram following. How much anxiety, stress, jealousy, and overwhelm I felt on a DAILY basis.

Often times I would wish I could let it all go. I honestly felt trapped in my own mind about it. For so many reasons I thought letting go was not an option.

I thought… I’ve invested too much time and money into this, I can’t stop now.

Sometimes I would meet people that weren’t on social media at all. Some part of me judged them for trying to avoid the inevitable. Social media is a part of our lives now, either we reject it or embrace it.

But mostly I felt envy. I desperately wanted to be FREE of the hold it had on me.

I would often imagine what it would feel like to just LIVE my life without the pressure of putting it all online.

Some how some way, I finally broke free from the chains! I still post some things now and then, mostly to announce a new podcast episode or about how cute my cats are, but I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to finally let go of the belief that social media is my answer to success.

Ep #130: Triggers Feb 22, 2022

Show notes

The other day I found myself TRIGGERED by something and wanted to share my process in coaching myself through it.

Triggers can show us where our attention is needed. What is unresolved within our subconscious.

It's an opportunity for us to do an investigation and it can actually be a lot of fun. Like solving a mystery. You follow the breadcrumbs to find the source of your pain.

When did this start? Describe in full detail the story you've been playing on repeat. It's a chance to discover the parts of the story that were fabricated. What creative/ negative/ dramatic twist did yyour mind add to it?

Can you rewrite the story in a way that makes you feel more empowered? Now just practice this new narrative every time you are triggered and eventually it will naturally disolve. Because you become AWARE of the false story that it no longer has power over you.

Ep #129: Raising Your Emotional Frequency Feb 01, 2022

Show notes

Our theme this year is Discover YOU in 2022 and I believe the best way to self discovery is through our EMOTIONS. As we get to know our feelings and where they are coming from, we get to know ourselves.

We are always saying things like… “I didn’t like the vibe I got from that person… or… what a great vibe this place has… or… we just weren’t vibing with one another. I never really knew there was some scientific validity to the whole VIBE term…

Physicists explain that inside every atom is mostly empty space and what’s left is more like a vibrational frequency.

Albert Einstein said, “Everything in life is vibration.”

Ep #128: Confusion to Clarity Jan 18, 2022

Show notes

Little did I know that my initial breakdown/breakthrough would last almost 4 years before I began making sense of things and feeling put back together. The interesting thing though is that it really feels as if I’m putting pieces of myself together but not using any of the old pieces.

Like putting a puzzle together that is completely blank. Every piece is just pure white, nothing on it, not even a spec of color.

Putting the pieces together gives me a sense of wholeness and a feeling of pure potentiality. You would think I’m describing emptiness, but really it’s such an exciting process to put this blank canvas together, because now I’m ready to create a masterpiece. With new shapes and colors I’ve never used before.

I never realized that contribution is what gives us purpose. I really had to question my intensions over the years. In the beginning of my blogging endeavors. I think deep down I knew it wasn’t coming from a pure desire to contribute. It was tainted by my insecurities and need to prove myself. So I carried subtle shame and always felt defensive about my intentions behind it all.

The clarity I have now is unreal. It reminds me of when I first got to Germany where I served my 18 month Mormon mission.

Before I got to Germany I spent 2 months intensively learning and studying the language. On the plane ride to Germany I remember how confident I felt in my ability to communicate in German.

I was quickly humbled and discovered I hadn’t even scratched the surface. I didn’t understand a WORD of German. I remember thinking, there is no way I will ever be able to understand or speak this language. I couldn’t make sense of any of it.

And one day (a year later) I realized I understood it all perfectly. It was a gradual process but eventually the impossible became possible.

This is how I would compare my spiritual growth over the past couple of years. I’ve been rereading some of the books that were way over my head the first time, felt like I was reading another language. But now I’m understanding them so clearly. It’s all making perfect sense and it’s such a cool realization.

Serves as a reminder for me to keep trying, keep learning, teaching, writing, sharing, and coaching. THIS is my path and my purpose.

Ep #127: FOMO | Fear of Missing Out {on social media} Jan 10, 2022

Show notes

Over the break I tried something new...

I made a goal to go an entire week without reading books or consuming content via podcasts, audible, and YouTube.

I know this seems like a silly goal, but one thing I realized is that I have an addiction to seeking answers outside of myself.

I've identified where my addiction to information began and I believe it started when I was a child. Growing up we moved a lot, and I changed schools about every 6 months for a while. Because I always felt behind in school I thought I wasn't smart.

Catching up to everyone academically has been a way of life for me. I've felt a lot of pressure to work harder and longer than everyone else just to keep up.

Going without consuming books and podcasts for a week brought my fear of missing out to the surface. I fear missing out on life and opportunities because of my belief that I'm at a deficit.

Our motto this year is to DISCOVER YOU IN 2022, and that's exactly what I'm going to do, one layer at a time.

Ep #126: Breaking Free From Cults Nov 02, 2021

Show notes

I believe we are all vulnerable to unhealthy cult like structures. They come in many forms. Not all cults are necessarily bad, but in my opinion, many of them have unhealthy practices that can lead us down a path of even more separation rather than community.

In this episode I explain how I've been influenced by cult like structures in ways that has caused me so much confusion about my path and purpose.

One of my biggest takeaways from participating in "cults" is that I don't want to be an imitator, I want to be an innovator.

Sometimes cults can create uniformity rather than individuality.

Ep #125: Resenting My Husbands Success Oct 26, 2021

Show notes

There's no doubt Sean has achieved tremendous success in which I'm so grateful for, proud of, and inspired by. But admittedly, there has been a part of me that resents his success when I compare myself to him.

I've spent over a decade trying to build the same kind of success, but in my own unique way. In some ways I'm very proud of what I've created over the years, but when I compare myself to Sean I come up with all kinds of reasons why he's just better than me.

My mind spirals into victim mentality, poor me stories, and multiple reasons why I haven't been able to succeed the way he has.

In this episode I share more thoughts and lessons learned when it comes to collaborating, co-creating, and soul-creating.

Ep #124: Ghosted...Why I Disappeared Oct 20, 2021

Show notes

Explaining where I've been the past few weeks.

Ep #123: Letting Go & Letting it Flow Sep 27, 2021

Show notes

Our motto this year is really been about letting go and letting it flow. So this week on the podcast I wanted to elaborate more on that topic since I feel that has been such a big part of our experience lately. 2020 has really turned out to be a gift in many ways. Mostly because it has presented us with the opportunity to practice our “letting go” muscle.

It’s been one of those huge letting go lessons that has yet again turned out to be the catalyst for receiving MORE. It’s one of the benefits of allowing things to flow instead of gripping so tightly to results, expectations, and outcomes. Many of us have a strong hold on what the outcome SHOULD be in any given situation. And if it doesn’t go the way we hope then it leaves us feeling discouraged and sorely disappointed.

We are taught at a young age, that if you believe then you can achieve. But there’s the fine print that I never even considered before. There have been many times in my life when I BELIEVED. But things didn’t happen the way I wanted which always left me wondering, WHY?

Did I not believe enough? Do I not deserve it? Am I not worthy of it?

What I didn’t realize is that I was believing in the wrong thing. Instead of believing it would happen the way my limited perspective wanted it to happen, I needed to believe that my deepest desires are at play. Desires that I may not even be aware of yet. It’s a part of me that is still unknown, the unrealized aspect of me that is manifesting the magic.

It’s the part that has the power to manifest what is truly wanted, at a deep soul level. So it’s more like getting into a space of believing that what ever the outcome, what ever happens, it’s all happening for me and for my greatest benefit. Beneath all the superficial, impatient, human minded desires. It’s much deeper, and much more gratifying. So trusting in that can be extremely empowering.

Ep #122: Update on Life After Mormonism Sep 21, 2021

Show notes

Today Sean and I wanted to share an update as far as where we are, mentally and emotionally as it pertains to our journey out of Mormonism.

This past year has been quite the whirlwind. I turned 40 and for some reason, along with that came a whole host of internal issues that came up for me. I was struggling with finding a purpose and positive outlook in life. I was confused and overwhelmed by my own lack of beliefs, and unanswered questions. There were so many things swirling around inside of me and I couldn’t make sense of any of it. Felt like absolute chaos.

At the same time I was becoming more tolerant of the Mormon beliefs. I didn’t feel as much anger and resentment around it all. Sean and I both stopped focusing on it and decided that we were done being “post Mormons”. We wanted to just be US. So me made a conscious decision to put our energy elsewhere. In that sense things felt great but on the other hand I was plagued by lack of understanding how the world works, what is my PURPOSE!

I was so worried of being deceived or brain washed by information that I became far too skeptical of Everything. I began to miss having the beliefs that strangely brought peace and comfort to my days. Now looking back I find it silly to believe in many of the things that used to have such a hold on me, but I really began to miss feeling the “spirit” if you will. And don’t get me wrong, I’m very much aware that what we called the “spirit” was just elevated emotion from being inspired by something we see or read. That can happen in any moment of life, and it does’t mean that the Mormon church is true. Just means that you liked something that was said and the thought made you feel warm and cozy inside. So I feel like there was a time that I had completely closed myself off from feeling that way. My world became so black and white and I didn’t even realize that I had unintentionally blocked out all the beautiful colors in life. It’s as if I was trying to go back to my little tiny box like home, and out of fear began nailing all the doors and windows shut in order to protect myself, believing that the sun itself was a threat to me.

And it’s only been recently that I’ve allowed myself to believe in certain things again. A few things that I’ve selected are God, prayer, Jesus, and spirit guides. But I don’t believe in God, prayer, and Jesus as Mormons do and the way most religions do. I would like to even use different terminology for these things because I don’t want to associate it with any kind of religious belief. But God for me is just source energy. The part of us that is one with everyone and everything. There is the human part of us, but then there is also the “being”. And that to me is God, and each of us come from that same source. It’s like God is the ocean and we are all part of it, each of us is a drop in the ocean. We think we are separate but that’s impossible. If we are a drop in the ocean then we ARE the ocean. Then prayer is just a way to send out positive vibes of gratitude to the universe and also a way to ask the universe for answers and guidance in our lives. I want to believe that the universe responds to the requests we put out there. As I’ve allowed myself to pray again, of course it’s nothing like the Mormon prayers. I don’t get on my knees, I don’t address God or Jesus, and I simply think or say all the things I’m grateful for, then I ask for answers to questions in my heart. That has been a really cool thing for me to practice. I’ve noticed some awesome things and it really feels good to accept some of these things back into my life but in a much different way.

And as far as Jesus goes. I still think of him as an important figure in history who taught us a lot of good things through his parables, wisdom, and example. I think a lot of what religions teach about Jesus is completely misunderstood, misused, and misinterpreted.

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