Unblock Your BS

Latest Episodes:

From Human Doing to Human Being: Healing the "I'm Not Enough" BS Belief Dec 10, 2025

Show notes

You can know all the nervous system language, do the breathwork, read the books, got therapy… and still find yourself lying awake at 3 a.m. replaying every conversation with your partner (past or present), wondering why you STILL feel like a failure.

In today's episode, I coach Autumn - a recently divorced listener to the pod - through the question that's been running her entire life since childhood… "Am I enough?"

What You'll Hear in This Episode:

How fear of failure and "am I enough?" get tangled together and bleed into every area of your life.
What functional freeze actually looks like in real life (spoiler: you can still go to work, pay bills, and be completely shut down).
Why your brain loops at night and how to work with your body instead of fighting it when you can't sleep.
The moment Autumn realizes she's still competing with her younger brother's "golden child" status and how that old comparison is driving her money, success, and relationship stress.
The difference between being a human doing and a human being, and why rest feels so unsafe when your worth has always been tied to performance.
How childhood people-pleasing patterns shows up as over-functioning in adult relationships.
A simple way to notice whether you're acting from self-abandonment or self-respect in how you're showing up in relationships.

If you've ever sat in bed thinking, "I've done so much healing work - why am I still triggered by this?", this episode will help you see that you're not broken. Your nervous system is just running the only pattern it's ever known - staying safe by believing you're never enough.

Once you can see that familiar pattern, you can start choosing something different to shift out of toxic patterns and cycles!

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

How to Survive the Holidays During or After Divorce Nov 26, 2025

Show notes

When you're going through a separation or divorce, the holiday season doesn't feel magical…

it feels like a spotlight on everything that's changed.

Waking up in a quiet house… splitting time with your kids for the first time… trying to act "fine" while everyone around you is celebrating, it can make even the strongest men feel cracked open.

In this episode, I share what no one prepares you for during the first (or third) holiday season when your family dynamic looks different than you ever imagined and how to survive it without collapsing into shame, isolation, or panic.

More importantly, we talk about how to stop resisting what is so you can start creating a holiday experience that doesn't make you dread December every year.

Episode highlights include:

Why loneliness hits harder when you're already grieving the life you thought you'd have
The difference between pain and suffering (and why one is optional)
How to make this season suck less without forcing joy or pretending you're okay
Creative ways to redefine holidays when you're without your kids
What to do when family expectations make everything worse
How to stop seeing being alone as evidence that you're unlovable
The mindset shift that turns holidays from something you endure into something you can shape

If this season feels heavy, this episode will help you take back choice, control, and dignity even when nothing looks the way you wanted it to.

🎁 Holiday Gift for Our Listeners - The Gift of a Regulated Nervous System

AND AS MY GIFT TO OUR PODCAST LISTENERS IN NAVIGATING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON TO SUCK LESS - come learn to regulate your nervous system with Somatic Breathwork inside of my Breathwork Community called The Self Aware Army for only $1 for your first month in the program (then $39/month thereafter - cancel anytime).

To Learn More about the Self Aware Army and to Get started today for Only $1 www.unblockyourbs.com/blackfriday

You'll get:

Live monthly somatic breathwork sessions
On-demand 24/7 breathwork library
Coaching support
A community that gets it and is healing together

If there was ever a time to have tools instead of just trying to "get through it," it's right now.

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

From Saving the Marriage to Saving Himself: Brian's Shift from Fixing to Leading Nov 19, 2025

Show notes

When Brian joined Healthy Men-tality, his marriage was on life support. He was desperate to fix the cracks that had formed after trust was broken but what he discovered was that the real repair had to start within himself.

In this raw, powerful conversation, Brian shares how learning nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and inner healing shifted him from people-pleasing and fear of abandonment to grounded self-leadership.

You'll hear:

What happens when men stop fixing and start feeling
The cycle of rejection and resentment that kills connection
How breathwork became a bridge back to emotional safety
Why learning to be present changed his family's dynamic
What rebuilding trust really looks like… with yourself and your partner

If your marriage feels impossible, this episode is living proof that healing is possible but it starts with you.

👉 Learn more about the Healthy Men-tality program and apply here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

The "Not Good Enough" Trap: Jim's 40-Year Cycle of Self-Abandonment (and How to Break It) Nov 12, 2025

Show notes

Men: if you're exhausted trying to "be enough" and fix everything at home, this episode shows how to stop self-abandoning, regulate, and lead yourself so connection actually grows (instead of resentment).

In this coaching episode, we unpack the real reason many men feel "not good enough" and why trying to manage your partner's emotions keeps you stuck. You'll learn how codependency forms, why her mood can't define your worth, and the simple, uncomfortable actions that build emotional safety: stop fixing, own your lane, and make choices you're proud of (even if you're scared).

What You'll learn: • What codependency looks like in men (plain English) • Why "happy wife, happy life" backfires and what to do instead • Emotional safety basics: predictability, regulation, curiosity over control • How to rebuild connection with your kids (why calls beat texts) • A 30-day check-in rhythm for couples to get out of survival mode

If this hit home and you want support to rebuild your identity, calm your nervous system, and lead with clarity, apply for Healthy Men-tality. There's no commitment to join by applying - it just lets us hop on a quick Zoom to figure out what support makes sense for you right now and if this 12 week coaching program is the next right step if you're a man experiencing the same struggles our guest Jim is experiencing: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

From "Man Up" to Showing Up: Former Pro Athlete on Healing, Emotional Safety & Real Connection Nov 05, 2025

Show notes

If you've ever been praised at work and lost at home, you're not alone. My good friend and guest on today's episode is Paul Coleman, who thought "providing" was enough for his family… until conflicts, distance, and a daughter's simple note exposed the truth: true connection with loved ones was a skill and he was lacking in it.

Paul is a former professional athlete and top 1% California real estate agent, husband, and father to four. Over two years, he has rebuilt his inner world - finally facing childhood wounds he swore he had dealt with already, learning emotional safety for himself and how to create that for others, and choosing presence over performance. In this episode, he shares the exact steps that changed how he shows up for his family differently, because what he believed was "showing up" wasn't working.

You'll Hear

Why "man up" works- until it absolutely doesn't
The household red flags that launched his healing journey
The book that unlocked his reactivity as a father and partner ("Parenting from the Inside Out")
How reframing his origin story (and writing to his estranged father) melted decades of anger
Emotional safety 101: presence, regulation, and not mirroring your partner's mood
The 6-year-old's note that reoriented his entire approach to love
How to stop fixing and start holding (and why it changes everything)
Building brotherhood: why men's groups accelerate growth
Practical boundaries when hormones, stress, and history collide

Walk away with a clear picture of what emotional safety looks like in practice from a man's perspective, how to become the grounded "rock" your partner and kids can lean on, and why presence… NOT performance creates lasting connection.

And men listening - if you're feeling called out (in the best way) - Learn more and Apply for my men's coaching program: Healthy Men-tality

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

Wife or Bust: Dating With Integrity, Courage & Clarity (feat. Chris Bates & Joel Cochran) Oct 29, 2025

Show notes

Modern dating is a minefield of mixed signals, ghosting, and people saying they want "real connection" while avoiding the real work it takes to build one. But what if the chaos wasn't a punishment - what if it's a mirror?

In this episode, two men pull back the curtain on how to date with radical transparency and integrity in a world full of band-aids and quick fixes.

Chris Bates, Dating Coach for Men and author of The Dating Edge, and Joel Cochran, mindset and business coach and co-creator of Wife or Bust, are on a mission to help men turn modern dating into a springboard for personal development. They talk about how childhood wounds shape attraction, why most people use dating apps like slot machines instead of filters, and what it actually means to lead with character and clarity in love.

You'll Hear:

How to turn the mess of modern dating into a personal development game.
The mindset shift that makes dating less about "finding her" and more about becoming him.
Joel's simple rule that instantly lowers defensiveness and builds connection: "Questions pull. Statements press."
Why men hear feedback better from other men - and how to build your own brotherhood.
What "dating with integrity" really means (and why you should always close the loop instead of ghosting).
Chris's "four legs of the stool" and how to build a solid life foundation before inviting a woman in.
Hinge vs Bumble: why your profile isn't a highlight reel - it's a landing page for the right woman.

If you're a man re-entering the dating world post-divorce or just tired of surface-level connections, this conversation shows you how to approach dating as a mirror for growth — to heal old patterns, lead with honesty, and build connection through curiosity instead of control.

Links & Resources

Chris Bates: ⁠batesdates.com⁠ | @batesdates on Instagram
Joel Cochran: ⁠proclivity.co⁠ | @joelcochran on Instagram
⁠Watch Wife or Bust on YouTube⁠
⁠The Dating Edge book available on Amazon

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

Retired Army Colonel Hit Rock Bottom with Alcohol and is Now an Advocate for Healing and Feeling? Oct 22, 2025

Show notes

Jack is a 24-year Army combat veteran who retired into a quiet house and a loud nervous system. Without the mission and tribe, drinking became the go-to "solution." In this honest conversation, Jack shares how rock bottom in a VA emergency room cracked him open, how default coping mechanisms kept him stuck, and how Healthy Men-tality gave him the structure, community, and tools to regulate, take ownership, and rebuild his identity.

You'll hear about:

The invisible crash after retirement: losing tribe, purpose, and identity
Why anger "worked" in the military and failed at home
Drinking as nervous-system management (effective short-term, destructive long-term)
The moment of truth in the ER: admitting powerlessness and receiving help
Therapy vs. coaching: connecting dots vs. changing behavior
Breathwork, body-based regulation, and learning to be present
Codependency, people-pleasing, and replacing shame with responsibility Building a new identity: emotionally attuned, regulated, and proud

If Jack's story hit a nerve and you're ready to finally let go of the burden you've been carrying and managing (poorly) alone, apply to Healthy Men-tality. Get the knowledge, the brotherhood, and the mastery of taking control back of your life: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

Beyond "Just Breathing" | How Facilitated Breathwork Rewires Your Life (Feat. Jana McKinney) Oct 15, 2025

Show notes

Today I'm joined by Jana McKinney, CEO & Founder of Get Living Breathwork, to unpack why facilitated breathwork can shift you faster and deeper than years of white-knuckling or logic-only therapy. We get into the physiology (vagus nerve, diaphragmatic breathing, nitric oxide), the three layers of breathwork (awareness, daily regulation, journey work), and how journey-style sessions surface and release stored survival energy so you stop repeating the same emotional cycles.

We also talk skeptics, safety, and how breathwork + therapy together becomes rocket fuel for growth. If you've ever wondered whether breathwork is "just woo," this one bridges science and lived results—beautifully.

What You'll Learn

Why belly/diaphragmatic breathing instantly tones the vagus nerve
How "over-breathing" keeps you anxious and the 5 breaths/min fix
The 3 types of breathwork: awareness, daily protocols (e.g., box breathing), and journeys
What happens in a journey: stress → parasympathetic rebound, endogenous DMT release, memory reconsolidation, and somatic discharge
Why gentle vs. intense protocols unlock different layers of healing
How co-regulation & mirror neurons ripple healing through families
A practical frame to combine therapy + breathwork for faster change

Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join Coach Tara's healing community to do a breathwork session today + learn more nervous system healing tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Men on a Healing Journey - Ready to regulate, lead, and stop repeating patterns: Join Healthy Men-tality Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Jana:

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

Divorced. Numb. Lost. Here's What Changed for Kyle After Joining Healthy Men-tality Oct 08, 2025

Show notes

Kyle's story is proof that you don't have to stay stuck in the pain of divorce, disconnection, or old patterns.

In this episode, Kyle, one of the men currently inside Healthy Men-tality my 12-week coaching program just for men - shares his journey of hitting rock bottom after a blindsiding divorce, how he almost drowned in alcohol and isolation, and why he finally chose to get support.

Inside the episode Kyle share how this program has helped him:

Release decades of bottled-up emotions through breathwork.
Find brotherhood and safety in a group of men all doing the work.
Start communicating differently in dating and relationships — no longer trying to fix everything or fawn for approval.
Learn to regulate his nervous system instead of spiraling.
And even noticed his golf game improve because he's no longer beating himself up hole after hole.

This is what happens when men commit to healing.

👉 If Kyle's story resonates with you, apply now for the next round of Healthy Men-tality at www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen.

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

I Spent $7,000 on a Matchmaking Service (Here's What Happened) Oct 01, 2025

Show notes

When we're lonely, it's easy to throw money, time, and hope into quick fixes for love. Matchmaking services promise "high-quality partners" but are they really delivering?

I dropped $7,000 on a service that matched me with men who were… let's just say, not exactly husband material. From shocking disclosures to ghosting to inappropriate texts on Christmas, I quickly realized I'd paid a premium for more disappointment than the free dating apps.

In this episode, I (embarrassingly) share my real story of hiring a matchmaker - the good, the bad, and the straight-up bizarre - so you can learn from my mistakes (and save yourself the expensive learning lessons). More importantly, I unpack what desperation does to our decision-making, and why self-work and nervous system regulation are a far better investment than outsourcing love.

Episode highlights include:

The truth about what matchmaking services actually offer
The red flags I ignored because I wanted love so badly
Why compatibility > chemistry > desperation every single time
How to date without settling or self-abandoning

If you've ever felt the pull to settle or rush love, this episode will help you pause and reset.

✨ For women: Join the Self Aware Army for breathwork + coaching → unblockyourbs.com/saa ✨ For men: Apply to Healthy Men-tality → unblockyourbs.com/healthy-men or DM me HEAL on Tik Tok or Instagram

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected