Stay ConnectedEveryone’s a critic, even with porn. Alice Vaughn and co-hosts, discuss the holes and the plot holes of your favorite porn. They’re joined by comedians, porn stars, scientists, authors to review films, discuss the industry, and topics that are porn/sex adjacent.
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If all you need is 10,000 hours to become an expert, how many hours do you need to masturbate to become a coach? Alice & Yvette are joined by Amy Weissfeld, a somatic sex educator, to discuss what's it's like to be a masturbation coach. Follow us on Twitter: TGOMpodcast
Yvette & Alice are joined by pornstar, London River (@LondonCRiver), to talk slash fics, obscenity laws, young Ted Danson, Yvette's new thigh gap, and review Cheers! porn.
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Alice & Yvette are joined by porn script writer & former production manager Dan OhReally (@DanOhReally) to talk porn extras, permits, capitalism, Ron Jeremy eating your food, and how we really feel about this week's parody..."This Ain't Terminator XXX".
Comedian, Dave Kinney (@DavidKinney), joins Alice & Yvette this week to see what happens when you try to turn a show about a live sketch-comedy show into a porn...and forget to ask Judah Friedlander to star in it. We also cover what to not put into a microwave, rocket knees, custom gym blazers, and porn Kenneth. Support us on Patreon! Get 20% OFF CloneAWilly.com with code TGOM20 Yvette d'Entremont 0:02 We're committed to your pleasure here at the porn cast and that means we won't promote anything that isn't Alice tested any better approved Unknown Speaker 0:09 and this one is definitely tested Unknown Speaker 0:10 several times over. Yeah, there was suction and fluffing and thermometers Unknown Speaker 0:14 and the tea bags. You mean tea bags? Yvette d'Entremont 0:19 No, I got something in my eye and use teabags to get the swelling to go down. Unknown Speaker 0:23 What did you get in your eye? My husband's calls it It took a fucking village, a literal fucking village and well worth it because thanks to clone Willie, we've now cloned body parts on ourselves and willing volunteers and we can even make them buzz. No policies or cops were harmed in the making of this partnership Yvette d'Entremont 0:42 we live in amazing times. Now where can our listeners check this out Alice Alice Vaughn 0:46 to clone it and bonus go to clone a Willie calm and type in promo code tg o m 20 to get 20% off your first purchase. Unknown Speaker 1:01 This is two girls. One Mike, the show that talks about the holes and plotholes of your favorite porn. Yvette d'Entremont 1:09 Welcome to Two girls one Mic the porncast where no matter how bad you think the hosts are we heard worse. I'm your co host Yvette dancer Martin, here is my co host my lovely, beautiful, fabulous. And did I mention perky co host Alice Vaughn Alice, how are you doing today? Baby? You keep Alice Vaughn 1:26 trying to get into my pants? Yvette d'Entremont 1:28 Yeah, if I did not this will they won't they would not be a thing anymore. And then what would our Patreon have to talk about? The wall would be so boring. Alice Vaughn 1:37 It's true. I'm sure I could think of several other topics that are of interest. Apparently we have a potentially new Patreon reward suggested by one of our listeners. Yes. Yvette d'Entremont 1:49 Were you create them a custom binder? Alice Vaughn 1:52 Yeah. So for guests because we have an MFF going on on the show today. Yvette d'Entremont 1:59 Very excited. It's always very exciting when we get an extra penis on today. Alice Vaughn 2:03 Yeah, it always says, and I have to apparently now get Dave in the loop of why there is a spider thing going on, which is our keeps binders full of women. Dave Kinney 2:13 Oh, that Mitt Romney. I mean Alice Vaughn 2:14 he learned it from me. But mostly I'm a hyper organizer. And I kind of recently just moved places and I had to windell down the number of binders I had, I had more than 50 binders. It was pretty excessive. Dave Kinney 2:32 It's a thing where they actually full of women. Yvette d'Entremont 2:34 No, most of them weren't at least I'm sure Alice Vaughn 2:37 slike one and it had it was in relation to the podcast and potential future guests. So that's the only reason Yvette d'Entremont 2:44 so you kept the list like romney did. You had a list of women and a binder, Dave Kinney 2:50 just like Mitt Romney? I'm like, just big introduced to you guys. I'm trying to play. It's super cool. So here like yeah, 50 binders like binders full of it. I'm like cool. Cool. Awesome, perfectly normal. very organized. Yvette d'Entremont 3:02 Don't worry, Alice is aware that this is like I have my things that I know are completely fucked up. Alice has hurt like this is a fetish of hers practically like I think you say, post it notes. She's like, tag organizing To me it's a I speak no lies Alice, you're not wrong. Alice Vaughn 3:22 You're not wrong. Yvette d'Entremont 3:24 I'm not judging. I'm fascinated Dave Kinney 3:26 people like organization. spreadsheets, you know, Alice Vaughn 3:29 someone has to do it. someone knows ya know how to use Word and Excel. It's fair. This week on the show, we have stand up comedian and host of the saving the dolphins podcast, which is actually not about saving any dolphins. Unknown Speaker 3:45 Dave Kenny, Yvette d'Entremont 3:46 he seems like he might be a friend of marine life but I didn't think he would have a podcast about it. Dave Kinney 3:51 I'm not against it. I we were talking about this before the show. It is like if you happen to be one of the super small demographic who enjoys funny reviews of porn and specifically enjoys the NFL football team Miami Dolphins. I mean, this is I feel like this one person in the entire world who's gonna hear this podcast everyone else that has no application to them, but there's one person where it's really gonna blow their mind. one stop shopping. I'm sure Yvette d'Entremont 4:18 we have that fan out there if you are the person. Dave Kinney 4:22 And by the way, if you're not into the dolphins Don't be like they're not good at football. Yvette d'Entremont 4:26 Okay, as someone who's from New England, and is not a Patriots fan, it's so sad. It is so lost on me just because I just don't give a shit about football. Like I'm a huge now the Red Sox fan but don't like there were years in which the Patriots were just a joke. And all of a sudden they are not so you know what? There is hope yet Dave Kinney 4:46 but now it's like being a Patriots fan is like cheering for gravity. Yeah, like it's just it's Yeah, Yvette d'Entremont 4:52 it's cheering for the inevitable heat death of the universe. Don't worry. It's just gonna keep happening. That's facts. Unknown Speaker 4:58 Hearts. Yeah. Dave Kinney 5:01 Just Yeah, as I'm talking, I just see like Alice's face like, Oh, cool. Can we get back to binders? Can Yvette d'Entremont 5:06 we talk about boning again? Alice Vaughn 5:10 Yeah, it's pretty bad that I know zero when it comes to sports, but apparently most people pick up when you're saying, hey, let's talk boobs. Yeah, Yvette d'Entremont 5:17 it's very relatable boobs are always going to get attention away from sports, or at least I feel in most cases they are. Alice Vaughn 5:23 Yeah, so speaking of boobs. So Dave, when we met, it was funny because you had this one routine about a couple propositioning you. And I realized Dave Kinney 5:34 I wanted you to be a unicorn. It was a full on gangbang. This couple came up to me and they were just the super like j crew, Murray Hill, finance capital. couldn't have been more boring. And like this guy comes up and you know, just just super boring looking dude, but he's like, hey, my wife thought you were funny. And I'm like, Oh, cool. Thanks, dude. And he's like, she also thought you were cute. And like my eyes kind of widen. I didn't know where it was going. At first. I was like, I don't Want to fight you? Like, you don't know. Like, when dudes talk to other dudes. Like you just don't know where this is going. Like this dude is like in a fleece vest is his girls in a blazer? But so like really commonly it's like, yeah, once a month, we get together with like four or five other dudes. And those dudes just go out is asking Unknown Speaker 6:21 you to help run a train on his Unknown Speaker 6:23 way. That's the Dave Kinney 6:24 thing like that's why what else we have is a unicorn. I'm like, I don't know. It's something more like a conductor. I don't know if that's a term that gets Brown has a job. offer that blew me away even as much as just the casual Yvette d'Entremont 6:36 tone coming up after comedy show being like, hey, you're funny. Want to help bang my wife. Dave Kinney 6:41 He could tell that I wasn't like super big into it. So he tries to like, talk me into it by being like, no, it's cool. It's like a party. There's beer and snacks. Unknown Speaker 6:50 Yeah, I Dave Kinney 6:52 started to get offended by how prominently hates mentioning snacks. Because it's like, Yvette d'Entremont 6:58 here we've got pretzels cut sticking in my wife yeah Dave Kinney 7:03 we're like that I'd be the kind of dude who would be like there's absolutely no way I'm gonna fuck your wife with four other Oh like like pizza all right Yvette d'Entremont 7:10 we made homemade dip what Alice Vaughn 7:12 Capri Sun what I'm there because artichoke Unknown Speaker 7:16 I love this kind of pay Alice Vaughn 7:21 what's next what do you bring to a gangbang you know I can answer this Yvette d'Entremont 7:31 so I've been to some parties not necessarily gang bangs I've been to some parties of ill repute in my life. And I made fudge that was it was a cinnamon kind of a it almost tastes like a pumpkin spice latte fudge between two graham crackers and there was caramel in between it so you kind of make a giant fudge cake. That's what I brought to a sex party. Dave Kinney 7:57 I feel like it's hard to separate whether that's just a good snack. General Yvette d'Entremont 8:00 it's a delicious snack. It was like pure calories just in a block of goo and gram. Just make that do I need to urban dictionary fudge cake right now you know if that happens to be a sex term that would be amazing. Hold on if you have a suggestion for what fudge cakes should be in terms of essential term email us info at two girls one Mike, Dave Kinney 8:22 did you serve that like a just a normal party and someone's like, this is okay, but I feel like this would be perfect for a gang. You just serve it at someone's birthday and they're like Yvette d'Entremont 8:32 reminds me of a smell. I smelled once of like three pussies mash together in glorious harmony. Alice Vaughn 8:38 Oh, yeah, it's it's sex cake. Yeah. But where I was going with that is I actually realized next day I was like, Oh, wait, I actually remember seeing you up like the standard years ago perform. Yeah, yeah. Oh, nice. Because it was that exact story. Oh, yeah. Dave Kinney 8:56 It's a routine. So if you saw me do it, it definitely must have been a time where I was hosting it. Because I think that like, the reason why I do that story, that story is normally a story to tell when people are paying checks, just because it's like it's a story that has enough keywords that it focuses people's attention while they're doing something else. Like it's not a joke I would normally do as part of like, I feel like having no other idea of my stand up by setup is much less gangbang stories. It's more the exception than the rule. But yeah, I think that the main reason why that story happened, but I just realized that you're trying to hold people's attention while everyone's distracted with other stuff. So it's like, serves a purpose. Because people are paying their check in their eyes just go up like, Wait, did you just say gangbang? Yvette d'Entremont 9:43 Try to slip an anal sex joke into my routine about skepticism. In fact, checking Alice Vaughn 9:48 it works. I try doing it at the bank. Dave Kinney 9:51 Just in casual. Speaking of deposits, and that's Alice Vaughn 9:55 Yeah, stuff. What does it say on this memo? Dave Kinney 9:59 I mean, you You get paid for a reason. So you got Alice Vaughn 10:02 to bring home the buck somehow. Even with our hand or face, Yvette d'Entremont 10:07 you know, every once in a while I'm not the filthiest one. And it makes me have hope for the youth of our nation. Dave Kinney 10:18 At the beginning of the podcast, I feel like it's just like slowly. Anyone who listens This is like, oh, Dave, like the gangbang. Dude. Yvette d'Entremont 10:25 No, no, the dude who turned down Yeah. Dave Kinney 10:30 Because I have done that bet, like a number of times. Like, there's no way to know how many people never offered gang bangs because of that joke. So it's tough Yvette d'Entremont 10:39 for you after that, you're like, yeah, maybe maybe one day I could have like, you could have missed all of the opportunities for people who were like, that dude could totally rock my gang bang. And there could have been other people who you would have totally been down yeah, help banging their way through and you just will never know. Dave Kinney 10:57 on my deathbed. I'm like, I wish I wouldn't have been so close minded. Wish I wasn't so uptight. Alice Vaughn 11:04 So speaking of hope for the youth, this week we're reviewing 30 rock porn. And I realized after watching and actually even during watching this porn that because I grew up in such a religious household, and most of my sex tips were from Cosmo, I realized I did get a handful of sex tips from 30 rock, which I don't Yvette d'Entremont 11:26 know, confession. I've seen a handful of episodes of 30 rock but like I know, I need to sit down and watch the show. I like the what I've seen, but I not all of the inside jokes are hitting with this one. But I'm curious. Do pretend to me a little bit more about this. Alice, Alice Vaughn 11:44 I did find some quotes that accurately described so much of what I learned. So for example, tell her you want her to donate her body to science and your science. Tell her tell me that have been described at least a portion of my life up until now, a couple of years, a couple conferences. I feel Yvette d'Entremont 12:09 I feel as described a few moments of sexual assault for sure. Speaking of assault, so Dave Kinney 12:17 I want to point out that was the most upbeat transition. Yvette d'Entremont 12:20 Speaking of assault, I've never heard an upbeat transition about assault. Like, are we gonna talk about a recent news story? Somehow, I, I don't know where you're going with this. And I'm a little terrified. But I'm here for the ride. Alice Vaughn 12:35 Well, relationships are like sharks. If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse and something's wrong. I mean, it's from the show. Okay. Okay, gotcha. How about this, this one is going to relate to you so much more. Because you know me our audience knows me at this point, Dave, you're about to know me. Dave Kinney 12:53 Sounds like a threat. Dave, you're about to know. We're on webcams. You're like, Look, we're in my eyes. Alice Vaughn 13:00 With both of us it's you know a bit of a promise a bit of a threat from Liz lemon herself. Do you need sex advice? Here's a tip. Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on. Yvette d'Entremont 13:12 That is your calling card. Alice Vaughn 13:14 Yeah, yeah. Let's that's you telling me it's not me. It is a very formal dress for all occasions. Dress for all occasions. Yvette d'Entremont 13:23 I've seen you in one that's a very low cut blazer so you have you have your sexy blazers, you have your casual blazers, you have your business blazer, the duction tank tops for all occasions. This is how we know you're in New York and I know my dressy takeoffs. Wait, do you have like a gym blazer, like once we got a workout in because that would be extra Dave Kinney 13:43 just like mesh. Yvette d'Entremont 13:47 I need this to exist now Dave Kinney 13:48 like a dry fit blazer. Yvette d'Entremont 13:50 If you are a fashion designer can make him for hours. Unknown Speaker 13:59 I kne…
Full show notes at the publisherAlice & Yvette list of advertisers they'll likely never work with, as well as a cardinal rule one Patreon broke. They also review "I Dream of Twinkie", where a scantily clad genie named Twinkie is rescued from his bottle and has three sex wishes to grant his new master. Become a Patreon! Snag 20% OFF CloneAWilly.com with code: TGOM20 0:02 We're committed to your pleasure here at the porn cast and that means we won't promote anything that isn't Alice tested any better approved and this one is definitely tested several times over. Yeah, there was suction and fluffing and thermometers and the tea bags. You mean teabagging? No, I got something in my eye and use teabags to get the swelling to go down. What did you get in your eye? My husband's calls it It took a fucking village, a literal fucking village and well worth it because thanks to clone a Willie we've now cloned body parts on ourselves and willing volunteers and we can even make them buzz. No policies or cops were harmed in the making of this partnership we live in amazing times. Now where can our listeners check this out Alice to clone it and bowknot go to Kelowna Willie calm and type in promo code tg o m 20 to get 20% off your first purchase. 1:01 This is two girls one Mic. The show that talks about the holes and plotholes of your favorite porn. 1:09 Cool Welcome to two girls one Mic the podcast that dares to ask if you give someone gonorrhea Who gave it to you. Is that considered a clap back? I'm your co host Alice Vaughn and with me I have my gorgeous stunning erotic sexy. co host diva john Trimont this Hi babe, how you doing event? You know what I've never dealt with some gonorrhea in my life. So I'm sitting here going I'm pondering the clapback gos city of returning it. You know what? Why not? Maybe that's the origin of the term. I feel like that's the only time you can or should give someone gonorrhea back is if they originally gave it to you. You're just re gifting an STD that's all you're doing. God an endorsement not an endorsement Don't do this. I mean, unless you know here's the in order to give it back to someone you need to sit down They're on that act of infection, knowing they've been treated for it. And like the process of this seems a little arduous just to get revenge like I'd rather I don't know what I'd rather do for revenge to someone who gave me an S like, it's not like someone gifted it to you. It's not like they were like here for Christmas. I thought you'd enjoy this. Like, it's often like somebody had no idea. microbes are sneaky, like, how does one gift that event? All I'm saying is this policy is so hot, it burns. I don't know. Think linger about that and call a hospital. If that does happen to you. I overthought that joke to death, I want to take out that entire section of me chewing the life out of that joke. That's not okay. And happens to the best of us. So, speaking of killing jokes, you know, so we started actually this podcast with an advertiser, but we realized, although quota Willie is an official sponsor of this podcast, There are so many that we probably will never be candidates for. Oh my god I've been joking for so long that like one day we're going to start it off with two girls one Mike the porn cast that still can't get a fucking callback from audible. It's we're the only ones we goddamn ones everyone on the planet has an audible subscription now to girls one Mike the podcast where we actually would give a reason for you to use Dollar Shave Club. Oh, I like it. Do you know anyone who's ever gotten Dollar Shave Club? Me? Do you like it? I do, actually. So but then I'll get it. I'm a lazy shopper. I think we should just run through all of them. stamps.com because they won't sponsor us. I have to actually put on some fucking pants and go to the post office stamps calm. The unofficial Strug meal of the United States. Samsung comm the unofficial drug meal of this podcast. I mean, we would never Oh, surely we wouldn't Well, you know, depends on the doctor. rug. Blue Apron, not a sponsor the show because clearly I still have to go to Trader Joe's. Blue Apron, not a sponsor of the show because we can fucking cook Blue Apron for when you need to directions and just can't Google Blue Apron the Born on third kit of cooking that will work for people who know baseball. Oh, okay, almost. Then there's third love third love because they know the kind of jokes that will make about them. We'll never get a sponsorship third love because I'm still shopping at Victoria's Secret. I don't know why. Third love because I feel like that name it would be false advertising to some of our listeners. Third love because that would be downsizing how many partners some of our listeners have third love because we need six love for dread. 4:54 Jesus Christ. Yeah, they're never enough dread jokes really aren't so speaking Things you could put in my mouth quip. 5:03 That's another reason we'll never get back to fresh sponsorship. 5:08 quiff cuz toothbrushes didn't need much of an upgrade after sticking bristles quip because if you're easy at gagging, I've got something to put in your mouth 5:18 quiff because after ATM, you need to brush down. So speaking of jobs when you get done, zip recruiter, 5:30 zip recruiter the Tinder for career websites, sip recruiter what you've given up and you just need to apply for jobs with one click. They're there for you. Zip recruiter when you want one callback from 27 jobs and not a second callback from one job, the zip recruiter for when you want to be found by an MLM. I have to tell you the story you know who contacted me through zip recruiter Cognizant this company that does all the outsourcing I believe all the outsourcing for Facebook's content moderation. And they presented the job as a writer job. Oh, that's how they found me and it's like they totally misrepresented what it was and they tried to use like fluffy language around it so awkward zip recruiter and Cognizant anyways, you know what they could have also used to contact you. They could have used T Mobile they could have used MailChimp 6:24 MailChimp when you want to overspend on email marketing, MailChimp because they haven't heard of Gmail, there are actually a lot of other cheaper services 6:36 Robinhood for when you've wanted to lose all your money on an app, which ones Robin Hood is that one is that the stock one? Yeah. Oh, dear Robin Hood, because if you don't know anything about the stock market, good for Robin Hood, or there's at least a Reddit forum for that. Robin Hood, because if you don't know anything about crypto either good, you should probably come here and they'll take Your money. So speaking of taking people's money 7:04 I think this is a great segue to what happened to us recently. Oh yeah, we should have 7:11 Sue, we should talk about some Patreon stuff. There's some business Yeah, so first off, we always want to thank all of our amazing patrons and I know we normally think them towards the end of an episode, but fuck it, we're gonna go crazy on you guys this week. This Is Us bustin out yo, where we dropped an eight ball before the show today. And so we're thinking Patreon is first one. Yeah, so this week, we want to thank Brian Andrew gore bn bob dole Bob Medford rental, Brian Gowdy, Carl, Dave Bullock, Falco, hi, Teresa cell, Ryan, Chamblee, Shane right rich priests pilot Mike sorbetto, and many many more. All right, patrons are first off amazing they get an extra content from us we shoot them over some extra quickie episodes. It's the only way you get a quickie with one of us. Speaking of that, 8:02 see I'm segwaying you're rubbing off on me speaking of that, we allow our patrons to do a lot so we talked to them we interact you guys send us your favorite porn so like we have some amazing conversations how we hear about you getting stepped by your crazy ex girlfriends that true story from one of our patrons that we chat with every month it's it's We love you guys we dig it but what we're not okay with and we have one cardinal rule one, one rule what's up really bad, don't send us pictures of your fucking genitalia. Unless and there is a caveat. If you are so, so desperate to have alysus and my eye holes on your genitalia, whether it's whether it's a vagina, or penis or something in between, I do not care. You have to put a funny hat or googly eyes. Do you have to dress it up? Or and we have a new rule that we're adding this week or send us a delightful we want effort into a video and we have to we have to see your face in this video too. We cannot have anonymous genitalia floating around. But we need like a five second festive video with like graphics and things we want to be extremely clear when we say festival video. We want confetti, we want funny noises we want slow motion if we can see you to shoot a pennywhistle with your butthole we want to see this if you would post this on tik tok. We want to see it Oh yeah, we want to be entertained and if you can entertain us with your genitalia, oh, bring that the fuck on. But your genitalia just gotta sit in there like I have genitals to Allison I also have partners with opposite genitalia. And we can entertain ourselves with those. We don't need pictures of yours unless you make it do a fun a dance. Now, the reason we bring this up to your reader Huh, we had someone break our rule, and not just break our rule to us. And this is why we thank our Patreon because they broke our rule all over our Patreon wall and our Patreon got eyes full of dick. Oh, yeah, really I full of tick. So this specific eyes full of sad dick from a guy named Sergio. We're naming and shaming Sergio because you're sending us threatening emails now and that's not okay. That's definitely not Okay, so first off Yeah, we're really open with our patrons at one point in our hundred dollar level. We even said that we would have our personal emails exchanged so that way we could keep in contact with whomever was at that level. However, we had to change that because people can play by the rules and ruin it for everyone else. Yeah, this is not okay. Especially the threatening emails we're getting now. So, guys, like like we said, we love interacting with you. We have a A lot of fun over on our Patreon wall, please just one rule. One fucking rule, don't it's, I mean, this isn't even don't talk about Fight Club. This is just don't take a picture of one specific part of your anatomy from what you have to extricate that from a couple pieces of clothing. That's not an Oops, that's an on purpose. You couldn't follow the rules. So we don't want to see your junk. We also don't want you to hit on either, but we're very clear. We have our people we're not looking for new humans to bang, look, we can take a compliment. We have no problem with that at all. But this person decided, Hey, I'm going to post my junk and then it was pretty explicit on our page we decided let's go ahead and ban this person. And by the way, I'm sorry, but if you'd give us 100 bucks and then give us a dick pic I'm gonna tax you that hundred dollars for making me look at your dick. This is how this whole tax This is one of the few occasions I can actually charge someone for me looking at an annuity seseri dick, you send us money post on our Patreon wall. Things that broke the rules. I don't mean being rude. You're rude. We're gonna give you a warning. You know this is the first time this has happened. Nobody has ever given it like everyone's just kind of nice on there. Know what like we're talking about port we're making dick jokes. Everyone's been fucking groovy. And one guy comes in and like, verbally masturbates to Alice, and is just Ah, it's a Who? Yeah, the emails are kind of creepy. My favorite is that he decided to come back pay $2 to be amazing to watch, slow motion train wreck, and then complain about us. Of course ending with that we're a bunch of fakes go Trump ban abortion because somehow that had anything to do with anything in this conversation. We're fake. Go Trump ban abortion. I got nothing look. I'm sorry that you escaped your But 13:02 but yeah this happened and now we get threatening emails from him so we're looking forward to going to the police like and again Allison are not exactly people who overreact to things these are not just email saying I'm mad that I was banned they are threats they're very explicitly threats and you know you can be flirty you can be funny you can you can tell obviously you can tell a dick joke or 27 around us. Don't send us your penis unless it's got a fucking hat on it man. If your first time listeners guys were super chill seriously, we talk about genitals all the time. We're a little obsessed. It's a little it's creepy almost. Do you guys understand how much porn we watch? A lot. This is what we do. Like I sat down and watch so much dick going into so much asked today. And then after I watched it for work, I watched it for fun. That's dedication that came out better than I expected. There was one okay joke. I'm okay with that. I'm proud of you. But yeah, guys, so we can take a joke. We just don't want to see your dicks unless again, Google. Eyes funny hat, give it a tiara. Make it do a dance, do puppetry of the penis. don't spam our Patreon wall for fuxi cut that said, Please become patrons, because that's how we pay for editing. Yes. And we pay for hosting and sending out mics to our fantastic guests that we have on the show. Seriously, we give a shit about our patrons. We just don't want to see your decks. Yeah, and we don't like it's we're Equal Opportunity non wanting to see anyone's genitals unless we ask. Yeah, and I think vaginas are very pretty. I just don't want to see any of yours unless I've personally asked or unless you know what I mean. And I'm not going to personally ask any of you I have an exception to the rule. Oh, okay, so I've always heard of a jazlyn Oh, yeah, if you are and I think that goes with our if it's wearing a funny hat rule. Yeah, let's go with that. If you're a jazz old and you want to send us your your vajazzle vajayjay want to say that we definitely we need to see all have that. So yeah, send us your vajazzle like and we want to know about the process. We have questions. All I'm envisioning right now is a peanuts cartoon character down there above the clitoris is too much. Just Snoopy Snoopy down there. Like I always just picture there being like, like something that looked like a comma where their legs suffer. Like, what is peanuts cartoon character? Like, what does the animator consider how they're drawn? is a copyright infringement if you have a peanuts character vajazzle old? Oh my God, if you're a copyright lawyer, please email us let us know. And if you're an animator, please animate it and send it to us. Because we're sick evil fucks and if you decide to get your vagina vajazzle with a peanuts character, specifically Snoopy, I really want to see it. That's not even a joke. You know, somebody's gonna go out and do it. Oh my god. I hope they do. Is that a thing people are still doing? I say with horror spreading across What if I got it done. Oh I need its I'd say get video of the process but I don't know if…
Full show notes at the publisherAlice & Yvette are joined by multi award winning veteran pornstar and cat lover, Lance Hart (@lancehartfetish). The MFF this week discuss sweets, cross over performers, industry testing, how he almost accidentally died on set, and dick injections. Don't forget to leave us a review! Support us on Patreon Use code TGOM20 for 20% OFF CloneAWilly.com Unknown Speaker 0:02 We're committed to your pleasure here at the porn cast and that means we won't promote anything that isn't Alice tested any better approved and this one is definitely tested several times over. Yeah, there was suction and fluffing and thermometers and the tea bags. You mean teabagging? No, I got something in my eye and use teabags to get the swelling to go down. What did you get in your eye? My husband's calls it It took a fucking village, a literal fucking village and well worth it because thanks to clone Willie, we've now cloned body parts on ourselves and willing volunteers and we can even make them buzz. No policies or cops were harmed in the making of this partnership we live in amazing times. Now where can our listeners check this out Alice to clone it and bowknot go to Kelowna Willie calm and type in promo code tg o m 20 to get 20% off your first purchase. Unknown Speaker 1:01 This is two girls one mic the show that talks about the holes and plot holes of your favorite porn. Alice Vaughn 1:09 Welcome to Two girls one Mike where we couldn't afford getting sponsored by I can't believe it's not butter, but we did get Fuck off. It's not Manet's. I'm your co host Alice Vaughn. And with me I have my fantastic co host you've had Don trauma David, how you doing today? I'm confused about where I'm supposed to put the mayonnaise. Is this an anal lube is this is this part of foreplay, I'm, I'm perturbed about why couldn't we get I can't believe it's not but why not butter? Why not just go straight for lard or coconut oil? No, no, I mean, it's kind of like when I get yogurt out of fridge and I hope these aren't Hornets or you know, I get the off brand version where it's like, oh fuck my ass, but that's good. peanut brittle. You know what you pick up at Trader Joe's right now I'm picturing eating peanut brittle off of a pussy but it's kind have like you know those little candies? You got off like the little button candies off of paper. It'd be like that like it's like a preset appetizer. Can I be honest? I never ate any of those candies. You know what you're not missing out. It's little dots of idiocy that just looked cute. This was not a good candy. We had some bad candies, kids, but they looked adorable enough to eat and I think that's what matters. Yeah, we were tricked into that one. We were tricked into wanting it. We were tricked into telling our parents to buy it and then we sat there going, this is fun. And while we ate paper, we ate sugar. We colored sugar i'd paper and we enjoyed it. So you kids with your iPhones and your better candy than us. You know what, fuck it. We got to run around outside and not have our childhoods on social media. So it was pretty cool. That's the one good thing where you know, we can't be held back from college because of our social media. You know, I'm just saying but we lived in fear of our quote, permanent record. So yeah, like there's shit that I just didn't do because I'm pretty sure that I was Like no matter what you said did something someone was going to find out like so I think that just kept me from not doing bad milk too much bad shit. I mean, the internet is definitely a permanent record nowadays, but I kind of want to go back to a candy jewelry. I mean, now I'm thinking about candy panties and the ones with hard candy. For who's the Woodchuck? Hmm, who can tear through those with their teeth? Not any dentist, whose dentures are possible most Chuck awful balls. That's Yeah, that's that's some inappropriate shit right there. That's not okay. I don't feel good about that. I'm going to need more therapy for that one. Sorry. It's just Unknown Speaker 3:41 a blank childhood. Yvette d'Entremont 3:43 Look, my childhood ruined my childhood. Okay. Unknown Speaker 3:47 I do what I do. Well, you know, there's someone else we could ask for their opinion. And that is we're having an MFF today. I'm so excited. I think we need more of these in our life. I agree. And we're not only having it with Any ATM we're having a fantastic today. Oh, with Lance Hart. Oh, Lance, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me. You just came from work. So thank you so much. Lance Hart 4:11 Well, I was just downstairs in order didn't have to commute. So they're actually still the people that are paid to fuck each other today. They're still in my kitchen eating candy. Speaking of candy, we had Yvette d'Entremont 4:22 to pay people to fuck each other today. That's, that is not a thing I got that I've ever gotten to do in my life as a scientist. So this is Yeah, tell our audience what you do. Lance Hart 4:31 Well, one of them is a scientist. So there's that but there's just coincidentally but I make porn and I put it on the internet. Wait, Yvette d'Entremont 4:38 a scientist in the porn are a scientist for the day job. Lance Hart 4:41 He was a chemical engineer, I guess. Yeah, for the government, I think and then a bunch of than a pro rugby player. And then now he's a male porn star. You know, it's kind of done at all. Yeah, that's good to know. But what do I do? I do I make more and I put it on the internet. And I try to make money from that and it works. works out really good. And then I'm 40 but people still put me in there porn. Yeah. Alice Vaughn 5:04 I mean, Lance, you've been doing this for well over 10 years. I mean, you're one of the most prolific adult stars there is. I mean, I, I kind of want to come through the awards, but there's too many to list. Oh, you've done it there for years. They're all stuff they Lance Hart 5:18 like I've won an award, but no one had heard of the like festival that it came from, you know, to meet and then finally, this year, they're starting to the bigger ones are coming. There's a Yvette d'Entremont 5:25 pile now. So it's hard to ignore. Lance Hart 5:27 Yeah, they just sit around. There's like a n table thing that my cats lay on. And they kind of weave in between them. And like, they're rather chin on like, because some of them are spiky. You know, the awards, and they just they like that skin for the cat rubber. Do Yvette d'Entremont 5:42 you have enough awards for a scratching post for your Unknown Speaker 5:44 scratching? Yeah. Lance Hart 5:48 It's good. That's what I wanted. And then Charlotte My wife has too so it's, you know, it's a mixed bag. It's a mixed bag of just pointy thanks. All the porn awards. None of them are things you'd want to put in your but Unknown Speaker 5:59 I know Kate Kennedy once did to someone else, she fucked someone. I think she put an AVM into someone's butt or vagina. I don't know one of those holes. Maybe it was dp. Lance Hart 6:12 Yeah. My friend Pierce Paris put a gay vn, which is the same, it's the same award. It's the same size and everything. He put one of those up as bought this year. And it was his big. I was like to him too. That's aggressive. He's brave. like Abraham Lincoln said he's brave to put that up as a pioneer. Unknown Speaker 6:26 I'm pretty sure that's exactly what Abraham Lincoln said. Lance Hart 6:30 About bravery. Yeah, yeah. Unknown Speaker 6:32 Well also about putting stuff into your ass. Yeah, there's a lot of bravery involved. You said something about bravery and put things in your butt. I do remember that in the Gettysburg Address, Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers said let us shove this up our asses. Yeah, that was that was you know, in there. It was subtext. Lance Hart 6:49 Yeah. He had a boyfriend right didn't Lincoln. Someone told me that I heard it on the internet. Yvette d'Entremont 6:54 You know how I heard fairly recently was bisexual. Mr. Rogers. Lance Hart 6:58 Oh yeah. I believe it to you. That's immediate. I'm like, yeah, Yvette d'Entremont 7:01 that made me so happy. The nicest human being ever also bisexual also Lance Hart 7:05 does it all. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was. Today was a good day we, uh, speaking of candy, we get a lot of candy and I always have a lot of candy. I have you know, sprees. You know sprees are like Yvette d'Entremont 7:18 chewy spray or like the crumbly spray. That's that's our way. I don't know what a chewy spree is like a top tier candy. Yeah, Lance Hart 7:26 I like the original sprig. I like chewy sprays, but the thing is, they're so tart. You can't eat like two mouthfuls of them. It's too much you're like I've had too much now I want to eat something healthy or something stupid, but like sprees, the original it's just sugar it's like a hard like disc of sugar sweet tart, but it's got Oh, okay. That's basically what it is. But they're delicious. And they don't sell them and gas stations anymore. They're now they still sweetheart. That was pretty so I ordered them online so I get like a box from Amazon like once a month. Put them in the pantry. Yvette d'Entremont 8:00 All my relatives live in Canada. So whenever I'm up there sprees are everywhere. Oh, they have Saprissa Lance Hart 8:04 is it wonder if it's a Canadian? Well, it's a Wonka thing. Is he Canadian? Yvette d'Entremont 8:08 I don't know if it's a Canadian thing or if it's just they're popular up there. So I find them like there are candies that like I lived in England for a while my relatives are in Canada and they have the same little bits of candy up there. So whenever I'm up there, I'm like, I'm stocking up now. Yeah, I have a suitcase full of candy right like this will last a year. Nope. Lance Hart 8:26 Yeah, I'll go to Germany a few weeks with my wife and I've never been to Europe so I'm like exhausted Yvette d'Entremont 8:32 yeah she's gonna have a million suggest Alice is polish and she pollen she'll have the simpson Lance Hart 8:38 said Germany's Atlanta chocolate so I'm interested like as to how they roll but I'm just I'm really into American like Snickers bars and shit you know to be like really like the I've had fancy chocolate, but I like a watch McCall or like a take five bar. So I'm like interested how that roll. Yvette d'Entremont 8:53 I have one suggestion. Try everything. Yeah, you can find it. Do you like Cadbury eggs Lance Hart 9:00 So my thing I'm not super into Cadbury eggs. Yvette d'Entremont 9:03 Here's the thing the British Cadbury egg is bigger and it has a different chocolate and a slightly more marzipan II taste to the cream inside. And I have a picture of the two of them side by side and it like blew people's minds because they're like what? I'm candy is bigger outside of the US. Lance Hart 9:20 Yes, I'm American. Yeah, it was I lived there for grad school and I was just I was like, Why are these so addictive? I didn't like them in the US and I realized the ones in the US are made by Hershey's so maybe over there I like them. I'm way open minded. I mean, I want to know I want to get all the sausages and Charlotte says they have a pastry like really good pastry. We're going to go crazy on pastries. So it's gonna be I'm just gonna be a big fat person when I get home. It's gonna be you're gonna Unknown Speaker 9:45 walk so much that you'll you won't gain anything. What I highly suggest I'm huge on curry worst. So get some curry worst which is basically Bratwurst with curry and get some fries and mayo in the middle. They have in Germany I don't know what they put in it okay um if they put actual Germans in them yeah who knows maybe it's very possible yeah exactly so maybe ash that's still in the air if you are offended by that joke I am our designated you email us at info into girls on my send me your hatred for making a joke about my dead relatives. Yeah but the point is it is delicious curry worse the fries Mayo especially after i mean i don't know if you drink or not but a beer tour. Lance Hart 10:33 Oh I don't drink so I'm yeah so over a long time but I'll eat the crapper candies and stuff. I'll eat food that's like cooked and alcohol as long as it's not like yeah, like what am I gonna eat or rumble? I think Yvette d'Entremont 10:44 was cooked it alcohol the alcohol Yeah, Lance Hart 10:47 I mean to some extent like like beer better I actually I would eat I'm not like it's not like oh, that's bad for me. But I just I don't like the taste because I yeah beer which for me was for getting drunk. It wasn't like I wanted to drink for the Tastes drink like Gatorade or some shit. You know? Like it wouldn't be drinking beer, you know, but Yvette d'Entremont 11:04 I'm lucky with alcohol like it just I don't like feeling drunk. So it's like I'll have I will have one and at that point, I'm like, Whoa, the roof spinning so I've got I have one drink tolerance, and I know that's where I stop. Yeah, you don't. You don't have the alcohol on the other hand, we deal. Lance Hart 11:21 Are you in LA? Unknown Speaker 11:22 Indeed? Are you okay? Yeah, Lance Hart 11:24 no, I just you said not So assume delay. So please, yeah, indeed. Everybody's Hi. It's awesome. Vegas Yvette d'Entremont 11:30 is it's legal now. So you get a contact when you get off the plane at LAX. Yeah, Lance Hart 11:34 it's Yvette d'Entremont 11:36 so Hi. It's funny. Well, my family's in the industry. So okay, my in laws, so it's just it's unavoidable. Basically. Lance Hart 11:43 Yes, everywhere. I think it's cool. It's better than locking people up for that shit. That's crazy. That Yeah, seems barbaric. Only like six months later, right? Unknown Speaker 11:52 Yeah. Now all they have to do is release everybody who's a nonviolent drug offender who ever went to jail for an ounce of pot. Yeah. Get on that next I know in New Jersey they attempted to legalize pot in some sense but that was the exact issue they got stuck over they weren't sure whether or not where do we draw the line as far as convictions go and releasing people you know what was the exact amount and they couldn't figure that out and for that reason purchased in become legal in New Jersey Wow, they couldn't figure out how to be nice about shit so they're like let's just not be nice at all. Yeah, like hey, just what makes you enthusiastic about pot versus a pot dealer versus you just have a lot of pot right and you know that all these fuckers smoke like I'm sorry, I know politicians. I've gotten enough of them. Hi. These assholes all benefit from the fact that they run the country so they they're no they're not going to get in trouble. Yeah, so takes a lot for all of you that I've gotten high, fucking make it legal. Lance Hart 12:49 I grew up in DC and our mayor was on crack. And then he got reelected. He got caught on he was on the news smoking crack with a hooker Yvette d'Entremont 12:58 well done. That's like a trip. Rig…
Full show notes at the publisherAlice & Yvette are joined this week with Vice President of the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (APAC) & pornstar Riley Reyes (RileyReyXXX)! The threesome nerd out and get weird with porn horcruxes, consent culture in porn, ethical porn, clown orgies, bad sex advice, alternative sex toy stores, and a squirrel eating a taco shell in a tree. Get 20% OFF Clone-A-Willy with code: TGOM20 Support us on Patreon and listen to more content! Yvette d'Entremont 0:02 We're committed to your pleasure here at the porn cast and that means we won't promote anything that isn't Alice tested any better Unknown Speaker 0:08 approved and this one is definitely tested Unknown Speaker 0:10 several times over. Yeah, there was suction and fluffing and thermometers Alice Vaughn 0:15 and the tea bags. You mean teabagging? Yvette d'Entremont 0:19 No, I got something in my eye and use teabags to get the swelling to go down. What did you get in your eye? Unknown Speaker 0:25 My husband's calls it It took a fucking village, Yvette d'Entremont 0:28 a literal fucking village Alice Vaughn 0:30 and well worth it because thanks to clone a Willie we've now cloned body parts on ourselves and willing volunteers Yvette d'Entremont 0:36 and we can even make them buzz. Alice Vaughn 0:39 No policies or cops were harmed in the making of this partnership Unknown Speaker 0:42 we live in amazing times. Now where can our listeners check this out Alice Alice Vaughn 0:46 to clone it and bowknot go to Kelowna Willie calm and type in promo code tg o m 20 to get 20% off your first purchase. Yvette d'Entremont 1:01 This is two girls. One Mike, the show that talks about the holes and plotholes of your favorite porn. Welcome to Two girls one Mike the porn cast where the orgasms are made up and the plot doesn't matter. I'm your co host Yvette Dr. Mon here is my lovely by vivacious rambunctious, hysterical. And did I mention she has a nice butt co host Alice Vaughn Ellis, how the fuck are you doing today? Alice Vaughn 1:25 I am so disappointed in you. The plot doesn't matter. I'm sorry. You know, Yvette d'Entremont 1:29 it doesn't. But that's why we can make fun of it. And it can still be a fantastic porn that gets you off. Alice Vaughn 1:35 I feel like I don't know you anymore. Yvette d'Entremont 1:39 Well, I mean, that was part of the premise of the podcast before we started doing this was you know, you can make fun of the science in a sci fi movie and you too bad you still get out of that movie, what you went in there for? And it's kind of same thing with a porn, or at least it used to be before we really started doing this podcast and now I'm like, No, I want the pot to be good. Alice Vaughn 1:56 I mean, the problem is now that if the pot sucks, I can't get out. Yeah, Yvette d'Entremont 2:00 it's really sad now I'm like, really? Your entire plot was just step mother thinks step daughter's boyfriend is hot. Like that's your entire plot. Come on. Alice Vaughn 2:10 Really? This is a fake cab you okay? You don't have Venmo you don't have PayPal. There is no other way we can pay for this transaction except tips. This is the only way Yvette d'Entremont 2:20 to be fair. I've had some really dark times in New York, but that was before Venmo so I don't believe any of it now. So Riley What do you think? And actually, guys, we have a guest on the show today. We have a three way scissoring today, guys, it's gonna be very hot. I'm so excited. That sounds very complicated. You know, six legs shit can happen. Alice Vaughn 2:40 Am I that flexible? Is the question. So we have on the show, performer and advocate vice president of APAC, the adult performer advocacy committee, Riley raise Riley, welcome Riley Reyes 2:52 to the show. Thank you. I'm excited to be here. Yvette d'Entremont 2:54 We're very happy to have you on with us. Unknown Speaker 2:56 So question, is there a way to pay for it? taxicab other than money in tickets Riley Reyes 3:02 other than money and tickets. I don't think so. Unknown Speaker 3:05 There's so many other body parts Riley Reyes 3:06 I feel like it's just money or sex. I guess you could give someone drugs or food depending on their motivation but probably not like a real cab probably just like some guy you know, Yvette d'Entremont 3:18 feel like most regular cabs are going to be like now I want to cash Yeah, I feel like there are some that be like no my as much as I would love you to suck my dick like my boss is gonna kill me if I don't come back with this ride paid for. Who knows. I've also never had to, you know fuck a pizza delivery boy. But you know, then again, my husband used to be a pizza delivery boy. So you could say I'm fucking one all the damn time. Alice Vaughn 3:41 Well, there you go. Does he ever bring you a pizza is a better question. Yvette d'Entremont 3:44 Oh, he doesn't. This whole relationship is built on a throne of lies and I need my husband to bring me a pizza. Clearly. I'm the cook in the house. He's the one that makes coffee. Riley Reyes 3:56 It's important to have your roles figured out like that. Good division of labor. He makes Much Yvette d'Entremont 4:00 better coffee than me I it's not that he can't cook it's that I love it. So that's how the division happened. But yeah, I do get to fuck up delivery boy we should we should roll we've never role played that though that is happening and I'm going to mix it with the horse that challenge Alice Vaughn 4:15 I kind of want you guys to go all in on this roleplay like I want him to apply for a job at a local Pizza Hut pizza store really commit I don't Yvette d'Entremont 4:22 know which one he worked at like you know his high school job and I'm like I want him to show up to the door with a pizza. Alice Vaughn 4:28 I want you just to make the actual transaction like call up your local Domino's and say I would like to place an order he applied for specifically a little delivery boy job and he came to deliver a pizza so I think Yvette d'Entremont 4:41 your give me a few days I can talk him into this. I'm very invested in my roleplay I'm sorry there's no other way to put this you know he was down for having his penis cloned for clonal Willie, so I'm pretty sure I can talk him into baby. I have this idea. So how would you like to go back to working at Domino's again cuz you I'm sure you would love it so much as a teenager. Alice Vaughn 5:02 Riley, what's the most interesting job? You've had either fake job performing in porn or just in real life? Riley Reyes 5:09 I mean, my job before I got into porn was working in production. And I did a lot of theater. And I did a lot of department store window installations actually in New York City. So the high end department store windows were pretty cool. We used to make a bunch of crazy sculptures. I'd be in some warehouse in Red Hook fiberglassing things in the middle of the summer. It was wild actually sounds like a lot of fun. Not the fiberglassing but a lot of the other stuff. I got to paint and glitter things and put fake snow on stuff and make tiny Christmas elves. That was fun. Yvette d'Entremont 5:41 I can see that being good. So Riley, how did Alice Vaughn 5:43 you get into the industry? Since you were a creative before? Riley Reyes 5:47 Oh, I really consider myself kind of a hobbyist who went Pro. Alright, so I was working as an artist. I was going to lots and lots of sex parties, like on weekends, sometimes even during the week. I'd really fallen in with this. Cool crowd of like New York City, Brooklynite. vernors would love to warehouse parties that Bernard says and they go to brown and like polyamorous people, swingers all having these really neat themed sex parties and I was out playing going to these parties constantly, pretty much every weekend. Now part of me wants to know if we have friends in common from that. See, Alice Vaughn 6:23 I have a strong feeling. We have a lot of friends in common since I'm in New York and I have a lot of friends who are burners so Riley Reyes 6:29 well, I'm sure I have fucked some people, you know. But that's the scene kind of inspired me to try out porn. I'd always wanted to try but people tell you, it'll ruin your life and you'll be a social pariah. But once I was friends with these people, I said, You know, I don't think it will. I think these people will still like me and be my friend and did a few scenes is kind of on a lark and really liked it and ended up finally moving to Los Angeles to pursue it full time. Yvette d'Entremont 6:56 I highly encourage moving to Los Angeles, not not just for porn, just because Los Angeles is way better than anywhere else in the universe or New York. Alice Vaughn 7:03 I'm very offended by that. Yvette d'Entremont 7:05 I'm like, Look, it's just it's New York only it's warm and you feel like you can take a breath once in a while because the city isn't screaming at you constantly. Oh, Unknown Speaker 7:13 but you're not in traffic half the day, so Okay, fine. You Riley Reyes 7:16 wait, what about pizza rat? I think we're all forgetting the cultural importance of pizza rats. A rat Yvette d'Entremont 7:22 was a hoax. Unknown Speaker 7:23 No, Unknown Speaker 7:24 yes, it was an amazingly well executed hoax. I was Alice Vaughn 7:28 shocked. It was all of us. Yvette d'Entremont 7:30 We were all a part of it. And it was all a part of us. But no, it was this person that pulls off these kind of like viral social media hoaxes. It's the most I read the story a bit and I was like, nothing is real. And I question everything now. It's amazing all the little things that somebody might be out there doing these little pranks that were like this fucked with my senses of reality. And you think this is real and finding out pizza route was fake was just Why? Alice Vaughn 7:55 I mean, it's just so symbolic of New York to I mean, I saw and I'm not even kidding when I say This I saw a few months ago, a squirrel in the trees with a taco shell. And I felt like that embodied a lot of me. But I mean still pizza rat is just Unknown Speaker 8:10 Alice Are you sure that's not your animal guy? You're your spirit creature that you it's not your form that you're transformed into like in the Harry Potter universe and no I am. I feel a squirrel with a taco is you? Unknown Speaker 8:26 You're very fast paced and you like tacos? I think it's you. Riley Reyes 8:29 That's a powerful talisman. Yvette d'Entremont 8:33 Yeah, squirrel at the taco. Alice Vaughn 8:34 So I feel like we kind of touched on this before we started the show. But what are the horcruxes and porn? Yvette d'Entremont 8:40 What are the pieces of ones of a porn star soul I think or wherever you store your soul. Unknown Speaker 8:46 I mean, one of them easily, like a lot of souls can fit in dreads penis or his testicles. subleased Yvette d'Entremont 8:52 there's another one for dreads penis. His dreads penis is actually one of Voldemort's horcruxes Riley Reyes 8:58 jets penis is testament to what the human body can be. It defies all reason. And it's been inside my butthole so I feel pretty proud. Oh, we have questions Yvette d'Entremont 9:09 ask, how long did it take to ease it in? That's what I got to know. Riley Reyes 9:14 Well, the thing with angel is that if you're going for something that big, it isn't even really a day of sort of process. It's the like, weeks leading up to a sort of process where you're gonna work your way up like bigger and bigger bugs until you're ready. So the day of it didn't take that long. Cool. Alice Vaughn 9:32 I feel like this is what should be in an Olympic event almost being able to mount it. Yvette d'Entremont 9:36 Yeah, I mean, he is mountain Dredd. We just have all the respect in the world both for that penis and for anyone who dares attempt it. So we Alice Vaughn 9:44 got hemorrhoids just thinking about it. Riley Reyes 9:46 Well, people do fisting so you know, Yvette d'Entremont 9:48 yeah. Where would you hide yourself or actually would have to be something that people would have to work hard to find. Alice Vaughn 9:54 Definitely is not in the tub of lube on set a Bible. Riley Reyes 9:58 Oh, Bible would be an interesting one. I feel like one of the things about a Horcrux is its creation, right? So you have to be tearing your soul into pieces while it is created. So, to create a Horcrux in porn, you would have to be doing some sort of an activity that sort of broke your soul a little bit. So I feel like it would probably be at one of those big shiny red carpet events where all the cameras are pointed at me and I just want to be at home watching Netflix. I feel like my soul gets broken a little bit so probably one of my handbags from that nice nondescript barely comes out of the closet. No one Unknown Speaker 10:34 else thinks about it, you know, put it into the goodie bag. That's you know, it's like, oh, I clitoral lube. That's something I really needed to spit isn't a thing. Exactly. Since we're all nerding out here. I did a little bit of research on you Riley and I found something what that kind of made me fall in love with you when you run a podcast. It's called research when you're just a plain old human on the internet. It's a little bit of stalking. Thanks, but we run a podcast So it's good to find Alice Vaughn 11:01 so I love how you created your last name for porn. Oh, yeah. Coming from Firefly, right? Riley Reyes 11:07 Yeah, I had to change it though I haven't been Riley Reynolds in years because there was another Brian Reynolds who is an agent in Florida, who ended up having a very unflattering documentary made about him hot girls wanted. And oh, when I first started in porn, I used the name Riley Reynolds. I was super excited to take the name of Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly. And then I had to change it because I was associated with him and it was not doing well for my brand. So I changed it to a name as close as I could come and I'm Riley Raz, but uh, you did some digging. She was thorough, and I'm sad to have lost my Firefly name. But it was his birth name. And there was a big popular documentary and there was no way I was going to rest my name back from that. Yvette d'Entremont 11:52 Fair enough. I think I might have seen that one. Was that the documentary on on people looking for models in Russia or am I mixing it up with another creepy documentary It was Riley Reyes 12:00 a creepy documentary based in Florida and produced by overheated Jones. Alice Vaughn 12:05 Oh, wait, I know which one you're talking about. That's the one that where they discuss people getting into the industry for about three months. The Florida culture of porn and all of that stuff with it, right? Yeah. Riley Reyes 12:17 So the agent there is Riley Reynolds of hasi models. No. Yeah. So that is it's actually always interesting. Many people in interviews like So tell me about how you chose your name. And I'm like, I chose the nearest name. I could get to my old name that I wanted. Alice Vaughn 12:36 Oh, there was a nerd connection. I tried. Riley Reyes 12:40 I will Firefly is very exciting. I got to see their 20th reunion panel at New York Comic Con so there's that was cool. I can't believe it's Yvette d'Entremont 12:48 been that long since so many people got so mad about it being canceled. Riley Reyes 12:52 Ye…
Full show notes at the publisherFrom the director that brought you "Cum Hunters" and maybe watched the Spielberg classic once, we present "ET: XXX", where a horny alien is stranded on Earth and befriends a young woman named Ellie. Alice & Yvette are joined by porn writer, Allison McKnight (@thatmcknight) to review this mess. Join and listen to extra audio with Allison on our Patreon!
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How much do dominatrixes and therapists have in common? A lot. This week, Alice & Yvette are joined by former dom/porn reviewer/author Robin Shamburg. Mattel might not be too happy with how we use Barbie dolls, we learn about Christ complexes, and what it's like to have been a dom in the 90s. //
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We're stepping up our game with the Foot Fetish Queen of New York, Becky Berardi (@badassbeckyshow)! Join Yvette and Alice as they explore this specific kink, and the tips and tricks Becky doles out to keep us on our toes. Support us on Patreon!
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