Stay ConnectedEveryone’s a critic, even with porn. Alice Vaughn and co-hosts, discuss the holes and the plot holes of your favorite porn. They’re joined by comedians, porn stars, scientists, authors to review films, discuss the industry, and topics that are porn/sex adjacent.
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Alice & Yvette are joined by comedian & quicksand connoisseur, Matt Lieb (@mattlieb) to review The Big Lebowski XXX. Learn the unspoken history of quicksand porn, what not to do with a Big Mouth Billy Bass, and our futile hopes of Beta making a comeback as we review the the pornified take on the cult classic.
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Alice & Yvette are back to review a porn golden age classic, The Opening of Misty Beethoven (1976). Of course we have many questions-- Does it hold up? Why is there a guy in a Napoleon costume? Is there anything you CAN learn after you get 3 guys off at the same time? What can we do in a ball pit? Leave us a review to be entered to win a Clone A Willy! Use Code: twogirls at OffensiveCrayons.com for 15% off Support us on Patreon
Alice & Natalia are joined by roast master, Eli Sairs (@elisairs), to get him up to speed on the turtle sex and science he missed growing up in the south. The trio review Woodrocket's "10 Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles" and learn way too much about turtle penises among other things. Support us on Patreon! Listen to Eli's other shows: The Roast Ghost Toga Party Podcast
Alice & Natalia are joined by director & screenwriter, Todd Berger (@thetoddberger), of The Happy Time Murders to review the 1976 puppet porn, Let My Puppets Come. The trio review the ketamine fueled porno which makes less and less sense the longer it goes on. Support us on Patreon!
Alice & Yvette are joined by Sydney Leathers (@sydneyelainexo) to tells all about what happens when you are involved in an international sexting scandal... at 22 in a pre-me too era. The ladies also discuss saving democracy, labiaplasty, nazis, and much more. Support us on Patreon!
The hosts of Man School 202, Dante Nero (@DanteNero) and Harry Terjanian (@HarryTerjanian), sit down with Natalia and Alice this week to discuss male stripping, Dante's past as a pimp, and differences between men and women. Support us on Patreon
A group of intergalactic criminals must pull together to stop Bonan from getting the Infinity Bone! Comedian Bri Pruett (@bripruett) joins Alice Vaughn (@RationalBlonde) & Natalia Reagan (@natalia13reagan) for unnecessary movie facts, asking who the word "gnard" is for, Pauly Shore, prison cavity searches, wooden dildos, and much more. Support us on Patreon! Unknown Speaker 0:02 This is two girls one Mike, Unknown Speaker 0:04 the show that talks about the holes and plotholes of your favorite porn. Alice Vaughn 0:09 Welcome to Two girls one Mike the podcast or if you say these three words, eight letters were yours. Natalia, do you know what phrase that is? Oh god, no, I love you know, Natalia Reagan 0:20 it's I am Groot. Mm hmm. I was a big fan of I am growing. That was a highlight of the film for me personally, Alice Vaughn 0:29 if you confidently walk into a room and say I am crying, I guess I'm also yours. Natalia Reagan 0:34 It kind of is my mating call. These days. It's not necessarily picking up the right shooters, but you know, sometimes you got to do it. You got to do Alice Vaughn 0:41 guys, I'm Alice Vaughn, your co host, and of course because events on medical leave, we have Natalia Regan filling in now we have Natalia Reagan filling in one day, I'm gonna get your name right Natalia Reagan 0:52 Just think of a ray gun. Just think of a gun that shoots raise, or Ronald, but I hate to bring him up into this. Alice Vaughn 0:59 Right there. Any other Reagan's Natalia Reagan 1:01 my family. But unfortunately Ronnie and his son and Nancy and Nancy didn't do much for the whole her whole war on drugs, man. And pornography by the way. Alice Vaughn 1:13 Look, I know you're probably not related, but if you could get Nancy Reagan so we could discuss the war on drugs. Oh, do not show she Natalia Reagan 1:21 I should know this. I guess she is so I've Oh, wow, maybe, huh. Well, we'll see. I don't know. I can use that Reagan to my advantage. Some leverage. Somewhere back in court County. Some there's some sort of linkage. You never know. related to Alice Vaughn 1:34 Bri. Do you have any interesting people you're related to? Bre Pruitt 1:37 Actually my grandmother survived Pearl Harbor. Oh, very exciting. Alice Vaughn 1:41 Probably not at the time. Bre Pruitt 1:42 Yeah. You know, when you just survive something. You're not famous afterward? Yeah. Was Natalia Reagan 1:48 she in so I take it she was in Hawaii. Was she working with military or? Bre Pruitt 1:52 No, she lives there. Natalia Reagan 1:54 She does. Okay, she wants something. Bre Pruitt 1:58 Yeah, that's something so keep Dream and everybody Alice Vaughn 2:01 so on the show we have Brie Pruitt to help review nardin's of the galaxy with us Natalia Reagan 2:07 a real classic honestly Alice Vaughn 2:08 pretty How did you feel about reviewing porn? Have you reviewed porn before? I have Bre Pruitt 2:12 reviewed porn before you guys had my friend Alex Cohn on the show previously and outspoken hosts a podcast called read it and weep and he made me watch made me That sounds very Unknown Speaker 2:23 funny too. Bre Pruitt 2:25 So let's revise that he is he is a white man. So let's change that. He's one of the good ones. So let's let's change that revise that I elected to join his podcast to review. I believe it was a Star Wars porn, which I'm sure you all have seen because that's your bread and butter, so to speak. It was fine when I am watching porn that I like. I have extremely specific critiques. But I think that whoever nardin's the galaxy is for it is not me. And my criticism like it hasn't Nothing to do with my sexuality. So that is very easy to watch. And because there's no sexuality to me at all about it. I mean is that if you guys feel that way, there's no danger of me being turned on when watching this movie at all at all. Natalia Reagan 3:14 That's me know, I feel the same with a lot of porn parodies the Star Wars one I remember it. I don't know if you saw the one with a very scintillating Chewbacca Wookie threesome. There's got to be more than just one. Bre Pruitt 3:28 I guess what I will say I'm a comedian by my job, and I am a sexual human. With that, like comedy and sexuality. There's no overlap for me at all. Do you all feel the same way? You've watched a lot of porn parody. Alice Vaughn 3:43 It's very rare nowadays when I'm watching a porn parody that I get turned on just because for me, it's become my job. So I just compartmentalize what I'm actually into, into a very different segment that doesn't involve Normally bits happening before and or during the boning. Who is this for the fans of what have sex or a galaxy? Guardians of the Galaxy? Okay. Okay, that's what the parodies are normally made for. It's for the super fans. I see. Natalia Reagan 4:22 I want to take it to the next level. Bre Pruitt 4:24 Okay, so I have a lot of friends who are in the erotic fan fiction universe. This is sort of erotic fan fiction come to life in a lot of ways. Alice Vaughn 4:32 I hadn't considered it that way. But yes, Bre Pruitt 4:34 I have a friend who's very into supernatural. Have you ever heard of supernatural Unknown Speaker 4:39 the TV show? Natalia Reagan 4:40 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I have a friend that I believe is on that show. Bre Pruitt 4:44 Really? Okay. So yeah, you may know that they are so into fan culture on that show that they have cons all the time, like every other weekend that the cast comes and talks to people and the erotic fan fiction is like very celebrated in this community. To be, and I just didn't like, I guess, nerds gotta come to but, you know, I, the the comedy of it all it takes me right out of it. Natalia Reagan 5:12 I'm a big laughter during sex I like laughing Yeah, I mean, well, you know, I don't want it to be like the Benny Hill show but I definitely wanted you know, like it's like split the diff between you know, Fabio and cuz I used to write and I've talked about this on the show before when I was a little girl I was very into skinemax and softcore porn as a child like I was just Okay, so I started writing and my mom had the clan of the cave Bear Bear book. So I started writing my own and my mom busted me multiple times. And the big threat was I'm going to tell your father and years later I told my dad and he's like, That's hilarious. Like he loved it. But I hadn't been Of course at that age, he probably would have flipped out but, you know, I was always obsessed and I'd like adding some humor to it like, you know, I would write them for my Friends so friend, like, you know, someone will get a crush on somebody I was like, and they liked horseback riding so I did have a whole series of them having sex whilst riding a horse, you know, like real ridiculous stuff, but I do agree like, for instance and I know we're gonna jump in the film in a minute but like when growing got shrunk to a small growing and I believe is it April Amelie? Who's playing Alice Vaughn 6:22 rocket? raccoon? Yeah, Natalia Reagan 6:24 I met her once at Burning Man, like a delightful human. I mostly recognized her boobs. Unknown Speaker 6:31 Which are Alice Vaughn 6:32 fantastic. That says something if you could recognize an individual specifically by their boobs. Yes. Bre Pruitt 6:38 It says something about both about the individual and you. I mean, I think Natalia Reagan 6:42 yeah, it kind of it kind of does not gonna lie. I once actually was in a supermarket. I heard behind me I'd recognize that as anywhere and I turned around it was my friend and he recognized me from because I was wearing like bike shorts or something. Yes, I was like, that's not thank goodness. I was alone. I wasn't with like, you know, a partner. Somebody yeah April Neal plays you know rocket the character when she starts having her way with the new and improved shrug monitor has improved. He's so small, but I was kinda like, what, what, what, why is this hat? What? How did this okay and then there was nothing sexy about it I couldn't really get into it and sometimes I do watch the actual porn scenes when I do this because you know, we really focus on the plot because that's so important. But that one I had a hard time getting excited about, you know, and I was really afraid I wanted a reference to that one. Alice Vaughn 7:32 By the way, it's interesting that you mentioned supernatural because I a few years ago for Halloween when I said Leviathan and do you guys know what a Leviathan from supernaturalists No, no. Okay, this is a fun one. So it's basically a face where the entire ring of where my face would be. It's just teeth. Natalia Reagan 7:51 Oh, I think oh, or I think I've seen you do that. That's Yeah, that was what that was. Alice Vaughn 7:56 So can you let me know where these erotic Fan things are going on because that in a porn I'm saying and are fanfiction then again, what is called vid vagina? dentata? Yeah, it's kind of taken to an extreme Natalia Reagan 8:12 high, not all the dentata that's a face you would not like to form a cape with or would I don't know what your kinks are. I'm not gonna judge. That's, that's up to you. Alice Vaughn 8:22 Okay, so, Bree, how do we describe this film for if someone's never seen Guardians of the Galaxy, the film? Bre Pruitt 8:29 Yeah, I think you know, it's a comic book film. It's an entourage. It's a band of misfits. The porn parody did a great job of setting up which is the first act of the the Guardians of the Galaxy, which is all the Misfits go to jail together, and then they rely on each other to break out of jail together. And that's how they figure out Oh, we're all well matched. And we're a good band and we should be Guardians of the Galaxy. I think the film success is all about Chris Pratt. I think it's all about the charm of its lead. I think Chris Pratt, is he I unfortunately have some problematic Christian politics but besides that he's kind of our Tom Hanks Tom Cruise right now, millennial wise, Alice Vaughn 9:07 you know, they almost didn't choose Chris Pratt, truly Tell me about that. Apparently he was a shoo in, but the person who was closest to taking the role, you guys know Glenn Howerton, the guy who plays Dennis Reynolds from It's Always Sunny. Unknown Speaker 9:19 Damn, that would have been a totally different movie. Oh, yeah, I know. Alice Vaughn 9:23 How do we turn a five star man? It's a Star Lord. Bre Pruitt 9:27 Glenn Howerton, it would have been like more funny and like caustic and he would have been less likable is the thing Peter Quill is like a very likeable hero character, you know cuz his mom died and that's his whole deal. Natalia Reagan 9:43 sympathetic character. Alice Vaughn 9:44 Instead, we would have had the implication in space. The implication sorry, is Bre Pruitt 9:49 that I get it. Yeah, it's I'm sorry. I know. That's a pretty deep well, so for the outro. Alice Vaughn 9:56 So yeah, maybe we should start from the very beginning of this. So by the way, it's not a surprise that they, you know, someone had parody and someone in this case was would rock it ended up parenting Guardians of the Galaxy. Because I think when it was launched, it was the first non Avengers Marvel film to be developed by Walt Disney and it. I think domestically gross like $300 million. Really? So Natalia Reagan 10:22 a lot. Yeah, I did not see it in the show in theaters, though, but that doesn't say much because I am kind of lame these days, and I watch everything on planes, which is not the way they should be viewed. This is Bre Pruitt 10:33 what I always watch on a plane. This is a movie I watch over and over again. I really like it a lot. Okay, I'm a basketball fan. You know, when you put like a really good player in England, kind of a less appreciated role. That's what you got with Guardians of the Galaxy. You got Bradley Cooper coming in clutch plan, a weird director role. You know, you got Vin Diesel as Groot that's maybe he just says grit the whole time. But there's a lot behind there. You know, it's a lot of subtext. It's a lot of soul. A lot of soul in those It's it's a dope series I enjoyed even the like dumb, you know, Flintstones Jetsons crossover in the New Avengers movie where quill meets Tony Stark and I love it. I love the mashups of the of the whole Marvel Universe. I mean, I'm like, It pains me to say because as I am like, I add a film degree I like independent and foreign films. And also I will watch any of these fucking Marvel films that they make. Because, you know, we gotta we gotta have a good time in these in these trying times. Natalia Reagan 11:28 Oh, absolutely. There's a little bit I mean, I feel like during most four times, that's usually when the movies sort of explode and have the best years is because people need that escapism and I wouldn't obviously liken this to World War Two, but it's our version. Bre Pruitt 11:44 With what we've got right now it is it's about as bad as we've experienced are certain terms of just what the fuck every day, a friend of mine was doing, like testing for like figuring out what kids like to watch on TV these days. And this kid at this test was like, Oh, I watched the show. You've probably never heard of it. It's called Brady Bunch. And I love the Brady Bunch was specifically made to distract people from the Vietnam War. You know, all that shitty television of the 60s and 70s was just to like, keep everybody placated. And that's really what we're I think we're getting back to I mean, the fall lineup is good though. I will say I'm watching a lot of TV right now like just to see what they're making for you know, to unite A divided America. And it's very interesting. Wow, we got off topic. What Natalia Reagan 12:29 were we talking about? grind? Yeah, it's okay. This is a show about tangent. Is there a Brady Bunch porn parody? Alice? Yes. I found out No. Alice Vaughn 12:40 Aha, we're so gonna watch it. We're so gonna watch it too. Bre Pruitt 12:45 I mean, we all know that Florence Henderson was a dirty birds. My dad has told me stories they should make the porn parody should just be behind the scenes right cameras off Natalia Reagan 12:55 REG and mom and oh my god. Oh my underwear. Oh, Purple Jesus, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. And then the music starts playing and in January Oh God. Bre Pruitt 13:06 Oh, wow. They just sold that house. Really? You know who's gonna buy the house? Okay, I'm about to blow your minds. I can't believe I can pull this fact out Gary Unknown Speaker 13:15 Busey. That's, you Bre Pruitt 13:16 know what close. Lance Bass was about to buy that house. And he was gonna buy it and like, like, remodel it into something and use the profits for something else, but it's something fell through with the deal. Listen, it's crazy that I know this kind of stuff. But it's only because I write monologue jokes for TV shows sometimes. Awesome. Yeah, but you know, maybe somebody could persuade Lance to shoot something there you know, I'm saying Natalia Reagan 13:40 the new insane you know, reboot video. They can totally do a Brady Bunch video montage, you know? Bre Pruitt 13:47 Oh, sure. I mean, I don't think in sync is getting together for that. But I was thinking, I don't know anything. They could film anything there. Natalia Reagan 13:52 You could reboot the whole Well, I don't I'm not up for reboots anymor…
Full show notes at the publisherAlice & guest co-host Kate Kennedy (@KateKennedyxxx) joined by the internet's gynecologist, Jen Gunter (@DrJenGunter) to dispel all vaginal myths: vaginal steaming, weights, discharge, squirting, abortion, birth control, and more!
A long time ago, in a city far, far away, Alice and guest host Natalia Reagan are joined by John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) to review a porn parody no nerd has ever thought of before...Star Wars. Support us on Patreon for more episodes Alice Vaughn 0:09 Welcome to Two girls with Mic the podcast that firmly believes hand jobs that come from girls who speak sign language count as blow jobs. I'm your co host Alice Vaughn. event is still on medical leave. So I have my beautiful guest host, Natalia Reagan, Natalia How you doing today? Natalia Reagan 0:25 I'm doing fantastic. Thanks for having me out again. It's always a pleasure, especially with you Alice, Alice Vaughn 0:30 how do you feel about a sign language? blowjobs Natalia Reagan 0:34 You know, I'm very proficient in American Sign Language only in blowjobs though, unfortunately, it's all I know. And then the guy love you sign and then also the shocker. The shocker is also a popular that's that's part of sign language correct now, yes. Did Alice Vaughn 0:47 Coco the gorilla know that fun? I don't think so. I don't think she was aware. John Fugelsang 0:51 I do a whole bid my act where I teach the audience how to curse in American Sign Language because I get a government grant if it's educational. So I do Oh, yeah. And they have all the curse words like, I'm always like when deaf kids curse like they get their hands washed out with so I don't know what they do. But what matters is all of the curse words are there and they're even more colorful in ASL. Natalia Reagan 1:11 I wish this was a visual show because I feel like we could be learning so much more, especially when they come up with new words. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. How does that huh? How does Netflix and chill translate to ASL? There just be a lot of this or that's more fisting. But you know, next. Yeah, that's not so chill. Honestly, that's a little bit taking it four steps to forward John Fugelsang 1:33 for those listening, which is everyone. Natalia just did a hand gesture and flying fisting. Yeah, for the podcast. Natalia Reagan 1:39 That's actually when I used to play jeopardy. That's how I would remember answers. For some reason I would I'd always blank out but as soon as I would make that fisting motion, it would come to me. I don't I'm not a fan. I don't know why, but it just some sort of like visceral response. It's good to know what work Alex You're back. If Alice Vaughn 1:53 you have any thoughts, please share them with us. Audience if you have any thoughts about using fisting to remember stuff If you're not the only one, John Fugelsang 2:02 let us know. At least we know it works for Natalia. Natalia Reagan 2:07 I'm fun at trivia night. Let me just Oh John Fugelsang 2:08 yeah. I can't wait for your recovered memory. Yeah. Alice Vaughn 2:13 Considering I'm on a league, you are now officially invited. Okay. Thank you. Fantastic. And a third voice you guys are hearing today is john fugle. Sang from Sirius XM. Tell me everything. JOHN, thank you for joining our little podcast. John Fugelsang 2:26 That's really a delight I completely enjoy and and bewildered by what you do. And I'm honored and thrilled and sheepish to be here. Natalia Reagan 2:34 Oh, good. Can we call you john fuel wing for the duration of the show? You know that it's my favorite nickname of You know John Fugelsang 2:39 what, there's so many ways to make fun of my name, which begins with fpu if that's as creative as you can get. Nathan Lane once said that my name was German for a large apparatus. And his publicist wouldn't let me use the quote. I was crushed. Oh, that's deeply disappointing. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, there's a lot of ways. So Mike, go ahead. You were saying there's many, many ways you Natalia Reagan 2:58 go bang, bang. I mean, there's that There's a lot you can do I just have considering the content of the podcast, I felt like it was appropriate. John Fugelsang 3:06 It's a nerdy name for a nerdy kid. And that's why when you asked me to pick a movie, I was like, I will admit, I came to this with a real prejudice because I felt as someone who was alive in the 80s, that comedy ruins porn almost as much as synthesizers in that decade. And so I came to this with a real negative connotation. But when you asked me to pick a film, and I was like, I don't know, I've avoided porn parodies for many, many years. Like, is there anything for Star Wars or the Godfather? And y'all told me there is one for Star Wars and I think that's so great. They're doing Star Wars, porn parodies, because that's a way to introduce young men who are into sci fi and fantasy to porn. So now they'll be gateway. Natalia Reagan 3:47 Exactly. This is their gateway film. Not like they need more, but they do. They absolutely do. Alice Vaughn 3:54 I mean, if you are a huge sci fi nerd and you've never watched porn, I mean, seriously, you were disgraced to win sales. Natalia Reagan 4:00 Right. I feel like that's how they get all their information honestly is just through I wish they were porn parodies because anyone have a sense of humor on top of it right? I mean, I feel like that's the problem is they just have the burning need to have non consensual sex but without the sense of humor don't realize how wrong John Fugelsang 4:16 that is. And they really should stop when I was a young nerd like an incel meant you were afraid of women, not that you also despise them and wanted to punish them for enjoying their sexuality in cells have really gone off the rails in my opinion. Mm hmm. Alice Vaughn 4:28 And I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, that what it takes for someone to become an insult is just a lot of horrible interactions. Unfortunately, I know that we had Nina Hartley on the show and during which she discussed that she feels bad for insults, and I frankly, don't blame her. I mean, aside from the horrific misogyny and terrible things they say, if you peel back the layer of this shitty onion if you work with me on this, get there how you become a damaged person. Not fun John Fugelsang 4:59 Look, men cannot control the way they feel. They can control the way they behave. So like, you know, it's one thing to be lonely to be rejected by women. But like I come from a time when that man you either had to get good at dancing or have a sense of humor. And I didn't know that just being a pig was an option all along. So I mean, jeez, I worked way too hard trying to learn how to talk to people and and listen them tell jokes. But to me, it's like if you're on line all day and living in your parents basement and watching porn and being a misogynist racist on the internet. What part of that is involuntary you are signing up for a celibate life of a five fingered orgy starring you and you alone and solo? right thank you respecting women and listening to women is the first step away from insell asshole them because you're signing up for it when you're being a misogynist. So I feel bad for them, but also only they can lift themselves out of it. Alice Vaughn 5:55 I agree. And that's the thing. Once you get into that mindset and you surround yourself with committee, immunity that's cheering you on? Yes and help because then you can easily come out of it until people start challenging you. John Fugelsang 6:08 Except that now we have names for it. Like when I was a young guy and new guys like this, it was just Oh, is this how it is? This is how guys you're supposed to think. And I actually like labeling and things like in cells because it's going to make it harder for young men not pre determined to massage need to fall into that swamp. Natalia Reagan 6:24 Now an examples of how you can get out of it. I mean, there's plenty of examples of men that have lifted themselves out of it and found a way to not be complete Nutter John Fugelsang 6:32 asshats I just say guys, like the real thing is better than porn. I mean, good got nothing against porn. God bless. But you know, like take a dance class, take an improv class, find something you're good at. You know how many amazing women in their 30s and 40s and 50s are willing to lower their standards so much to have a date on a Friday and that I'm right here that's just la I'm talking of LA is like the mecca for lame guys like lame guy should bow to LA like it's Mecca five times a day and pray. That's where you will Braking low frequency dude bro losers can get incredible women with low self esteem and that's the good news and sales really. Natalia Reagan 7:08 I was born and raised in Los Angeles and unfortunately I can attest to what john is saying it is true. I have dated some lovely humans in my life, but let's just say my mom has scolded me many times for lowering the bar to a point where she herself was completely flabbergasted and disgusted. Yeah, yeah. So no, that's a red flag Central. But you know, just keep going. The red flags are almost like it's like your bowl and you just go for the Matador. You just kind of go for it. That's what I feel like LA is Alice Vaughn 7:36 all about No, I get it. I mean, you lowered the bar so much you just trip over it. Yes. Natalia Reagan 7:41 And trip on it. And God knows what falls on what so there you have it. John Fugelsang 7:45 No, I'm saying But again, it's not to say I'm anti porn at the same time. Like I'm very pro free expression pro erotica. I'm pro men watching porn that women write and direct and produce much less but I do shudder to think that there's an entire general of young men and young women who are going to learn everything they know about human sexuality from a couple of roid rage misogynists in the valley with crappy lighting who seemingly use the same floral bedspread for every film. Bad porn is also a bad sex ed teacher. And the fact is that not just our birth rates going down, but the rates of men having sex in every category, including high school have gone down, which tells me there's a lot of guys who would rather just stay home and watch the laptop that actually go out there. And Natalia Reagan 8:31 I don't think they would rather I don't think they know how that's I actually I was just talking about this the other day, a good friend of mine wrote a movie called where the Millers and there's a scene in that movie that eventually did not make the final cut, but it was a kid like you just mentioned that wanted so badly to have sex but he learned everything he did from porn. My friend and I, the screenwriter actually got in a fight because the line in the movie because this kid was so disillusioned about what sex was he just turned to his male mentor and said, I just want a girl that I can have dinner with and wants me to Come in her face, because he thought that that's what women wanted. And I had to explain to him it's not come in the face, it's come on the face. His name is john. And I was like, no, it's we had a fight for like a good two days about whether it was coming in the face or on the face, which I eventually won. But just that idea that I think there's kids that wanted but they just don't know how about go about getting it. And they're probably, and women too, if they don't know exactly how it's supposed to be done. And so there's just like, you know, square pegs and round holes, just not really working anymore, because it's not really a dialogue and nobody's teaching them you know, and Alice and I talked about this the other day, like, our parents aren't gonna sit us down and say, This is how you, you know, play with your clitoral, but like porn can teach you that, or, you know, better sex ed. I don't know I had a class called loving. I went to Catholic school need a class where Dr. Klein who was a 60 plus year old woman showing us how to put condoms on bananas, but also showing us where the interest was. And I remember being horrified. You know, because it's Catholic school, but she still thought it was important enough for us to know. John Fugelsang 9:56 There Anna was Mm hmm. Alice Vaughn 9:57 And that's a great thing about the show. We really do. Try normalizing and let's actually have conversations about sex and porn and what actually happens in porn. And I mean, we've had multiple guests in past episodes talk about everything that's fake you know everything from the acting the orgasms. Hey, she's not actually screaming because she's enjoying it. She has a leg cramp. She's been trying to get that for the past 20 minutes or the fact that I was telling Antalya this over lunch. But we've mentioned before on the show, that a lot of the shots are just fake. I mean, I'm sorry to disappoint most of you, but it's just moisturizer. John Fugelsang 10:33 I saw a documentary in Europe about how they do that with a turkey based or off camera and yeah, I mean, at all, but to me, that's another side of the the dark side of this if aliens landed on earth and watched our porn, they would logically conclude that human females can see through the chin. Unknown Speaker 10:53 Or the I Alice Vaughn 10:55 mean, there's and true monogamy is knowing just when to choke her without her telling you John Fugelsang 11:01 exactly well you only slap the ones you love. Natalia Reagan 11:04 God no on the donkey punches yeah no I feel like porn and also Photoshop. I mean, it's very similar in the fact that like you're getting a completely missed representation of what a person or what a thing is in terms of, of sexual intercourse because it's completely I mean well I don't know I can't speak for everyone sex life some people might have a completely every night is just a new porno. But for the most part, it's pretty mundane. I think especially after 1015 years of being together, you know, sure Alice Vaughn 11:30 everything maybe some people have been looking for love in all the wrong places. So Ah, yes, we have a porn to review today and it is Star Wars triple x the 2012 edition by Axel Braun. And I know what you guys are thinking of Star Wars porn. Yes. Finally we got to Star Wars. By the way. I'm so excited because I grew up I love Star Wars. I actually have some original Star Wars film sells next to me on a table because I love Star Wars Episode Four that much. Wow. Natalia Reagan 12:01 Yes, I'm wearing Star Wars underoos right now I shouldn't I should let you John Fugelsang 12:04 both know that I'm raising a small boy in second grade. We know what religion we're raising him in. He actually got a children's Bible from his grandma, where Jesus said, Everyone is Caucasian, and I'm done with that. And he came in one day and said, Jesus turned water to wine with the force. And I did not correct him. Yeah. And I'm also proud to have had a lot of, you know, performers from the films on my radio show, and I've known Mark Hamill for years. And he's a great guy. And I mean, I'm part of a generation that was a little boy when the first one came out. And it really became, in many ways our religion for a generation of young men. Then in the prequels George Lucas made us all atheist again, but But still, the programming stays with you and for me as a kid, like my parents, were ex clergy, right? I saw the whole Darth Vader Luke Skywalker thing really reflecting in a much more acute way the God and Jesus thing not to get too lofty, but you know, like, the father is a lot more powerful, but the son is not An incredible dick. So lik…
Full show notes at the publisherRight after recording episode 60, this is the conversation Alice, Natalia Reagan, Amberly Rothfeild had. The ladies chat about clit stapling, animals in orifices, muppetfucker, and abortion clinic tanks.
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