Stay ConnectedEveryone’s a critic, even with porn. Alice Vaughn and co-hosts, discuss the holes and the plot holes of your favorite porn. They’re joined by comedians, porn stars, scientists, authors to review films, discuss the industry, and topics that are porn/sex adjacent.
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Alice & Yvette are joined by AVN award winner and comedian, Missy Martinez (@MissyXMartinez). On this episode we resurrect "will they-won't they", what it's like to be a sex toy model, elephant penis...the other dark meat, and incest! Become a Patreon to get access to the Japanese Game Show porn we reviewed.
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Alice and Yvette are joined by AVN Nominee and often "step-sister", Kate Kennedy (@KateKennedyxxx ). The ladies discuss Portland as a hotbed for strip clubs, using cheese in sex, Kate eating sandwiches, and review the Parks & Rec porn parody. Will this porn parody be... "Too Big To Nail"? Support us on Patreon and listen to extra content!
What's it like to have your porn watched by Alex Jones? Kai Bailey (@kaibaileyxxx) gives us the scoop! Since we couldn't find gay frog porn, we resorted to "Horat: The Sexual Learnings of America for Make Benefit Beautiful Nation of Kaksuckistan." This week we discuss proper whoreganization, how many blowjobs could've prevented WW2, Clone-A-Willy, and the #HoratChallenge. Support us on Patreon!
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Alice and Yvette are joined by a monster in the industry, Dredd's penis...oh and AVN-Nominee/XRCO-winner Dredd (@DreddXXX ). We discuss the trials and tribulations of having a larger than average member and ask all the questions you've been sitting on! Did we mention there's dick jokes?
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Alice & Yvette are having a wholesome MFF, with non other than CollegeHumor's Ryan Creamer (@ryguyguyry). The girls clearly can't contain themselves when they hear he's willing to do the dishes...without being asked. Together they review SpongeKnob SquareNuts, because our childhoods haven't been ruined enough. Support us on Patreon! Leave us a review! Check out Ryan's channel on Pornhub Unknown Speaker 0:02 This these two girls, one Mic, the show that talks about the holes and plot holes of your favorite porn. Alice Vaughn 0:11 Welcome to the podcast. Dildos are being affected by the trade war. I'm your co host Alice Vaughn and with me I have my gorgeous co host beside babe event Dr. Mott event How you doing honey? I'm very sad about my impending higher cost of dildos thanks to the fact that most of them have to be made in China right? Is this the thing that's happening or the cost of rubber seal and all the other things that go into this magical piece of equipment? I'm holding up my Hitachi right now much to our guests consternation? Are you personally being affected in your quest to get off by the trade wars email us info to girls Win Mag comm so yeah, if you're in China and you work at a factory, are you personally being affected by the number of orders coming into your factory regarding dildos, electronic products and door anything that's stimulating and or vagina or crocs or both? Are all the generals email us info to girls for Mike calm. Yeah, email us. You know, we shouldn't turn the show into a show about economics because we're gonna get so many angry emails No. Like, no. They've instead we have a very interesting character from both the comedy and the porn universe and I'm so fucking thrilled. That is work exists. Alice, how should we he transcends porn and comedy. Would you say that? He does. So his name is Brian creamer. Real name? Yeah, best both poor name and real name. I have so many questions about that. But if you haven't heard of Ryan before, he creates wholesome porn for Pornhub such as I disinfect the casting couch. I do the dishes with happing ask. I deliver you pizza and to put my wiener in it. And he's a writer for College Humor. So Ryan, welcome to our show. Ryan Creamer 1:53 Thanks so much for having me guys. I'm psyched to be here and I will say I stockpiled all my dildos and butt plugs so I will sell them at discount rate so they avoid trade wars if anyone's interested. Or they used. Oh, great question. I'll pay Yvette d'Entremont 2:05 extra for that. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah, they're all use if they come with panties even better yours specifically Ryan Creamer 2:11 Perfect. Okay, I'll have my use but plugs dildos panties for sale in the link of this app, I think Yvette d'Entremont 2:17 Yeah, we'll link to it. Why not show notes? Yeah, Lincoln. We're not going to use them. We're going to mount them on the wall as a trophy. I one day I feel like there's gonna be a market for alysus and my panties. Oh, sure. You know, there might be that out there like, but there seems to be less of a market of that for men's underwear. And I feel that is discriminatory. Ryan Creamer 2:36 I think so too. I need to open the market up a little bit. Alice Vaughn 2:39 Ryan, you are a pioneer. Hey, I appreciate that. Just so you know, if you haven't looked at you should go and watch his porn. His most important he is a very attractive gentleman. He is. Am I seeing this wrong? Or are you a ginger? I might. Yeah, I am. And he is like I said, very handsome fella. We don't say that about gingers. This is our first ginger. Guest Oh, In MFF oh good boy yeah we do like our MFF oh mama Ryan Creamer 3:05 mama me it's very funny because tags on Pornhub and I think porn in general redhead is like the least populated category like there is none to be found people don't want to see it Yvette d'Entremont 3:14 Really? I looked in England and I looked the gingers, so maybe that's just me. But then again, maybe it's because I feel like genders fall into one of two categories. You're really attractive or? Oh, yeah, no, you're right. It's but Ryan has a delightful smile and besides his video of washing the dishes without being asked, I have never come so hard in my life. Alice Vaughn 3:39 Oh, no. I personally loved I tuck you in after you have come. Good man with the fact that he you encourage people to continue looking for the right porn video. Do you understand how picky I am? I will go through like 12 different pages on Pornhub and still be disappointed it has. It's okay baby. Wait until you find the thing that's right for you because your orgasm is important. Ryan Creamer 4:06 Well, here's my question in terms of searching for stuff, because what I do is I'll go through and I don't really have a plan of attack. It's just like whatever is presented to me, I'm like, these are my options that makes your dick. But do you guys look for like, generally like, here's the genre is their processors at the same where it's like I open it and then I'm scrolling. Alice Vaughn 4:22 I open I scroll I normally go three pages in to see if there's anything that's interesting to me. Sure. My listeners are finding out about my porn habits. Fantastic. They're gonna get mine next. So then I start going into different types of terms that I'm interested in. I like high quality stuff. I like romantic stuff because I normally on the romantic ones, you could see people who are really into each other and I want both parties just going at it and wanting to rip each others clothes off. Right, I've just seen lackluster sex. I also have a handful of other search terms that you have to become a Patreon to find out Ryan Creamer 5:01 Yeah, flee the market. I love it. Alice Vaughn 5:03 And I joke about technical porn on the show. It's not my thing. I've never deliberately searched into houses like yeah, I believe you on that event. But no same thing search to the first three pages. Nothing interesting that I'm like, Alright, DPA. No, let's see what they've got. Sure, sure, sure. You have to go straight for the stuff that's gonna really rock it. Yeah, of course. I mean, I get it. And I'm married. You know, married people watch porn together. So sometimes it's like, whoever suggests the genre of porn first gets to conquer porn mountain. That's how that works on one is watching it together. So Ryan, how did you come up with this idea of wholesome porn? I love it. I am not sure I like set out to like, Okay, this is a thing I'm gonna do. I was on Pornhub I was watching porn. And after I am shocked Yeah, we can't have this man on our show. Ryan Creamer 5:52 Yeah, sorry. I gotta I'm gonna log off real quick. Goodbye. No, but at the bottom there's like a work with a stem. There's like a model program from Pornhub and I was like, it's very funny for me specifically to join this program. This is not the target demo, I imagine, they're not looking for the ginger man with his clothes on all the time. And that's the kind of videos that I thought would be funny to make. So I did that first one, the I took you in after you come. And then the second one was, I encourage you to help find the video that you want. And those were the first two that I did. And that was essentially the tracks at there. And I was like, Okay, that was fun. Like, those are the ideas that I had. But those two kind of got big and like got shared around a bunch. So I was like, Oh, this is a format I can keep doing Alice Vaughn 6:35 and just kept going from Yeah. And you disinfected the casting couch. I did was not the actual casting couch was it? Ryan Creamer 6:42 It's not but it looks like it doesn't it is Alice Vaughn 6:45 pretty much any black vinyl? Yeah. loveseat style couch. We'll do it right. I'm sure people have had sex on that couch. That's close enough. Ryan Creamer 6:54 Yeah, that was a couch at work. And yeah, it's like, Alice Vaughn 6:56 Oh, dang. Yeah. I watch College Humor. I'm subscribed. Click the subscribe button if I'm a good College Humor watcher. I'm just saying y'all are attractive folks over there that's visualizing that is not a bad visual show. Oh, people are fucking at work. Oh, that's never happened. Ryan Creamer 7:15 Yeah, we get the conference room we rented out and we all have sex with each other and then we go home we don't really do anything other than that Alice Vaughn 7:21 the videos are just kind of while you're banging we should do a video Ryan Creamer 7:24 about this. Yeah, it helps stimulate the brainstorming it's just a fuck each other. Alice Vaughn 7:30 I think it's simulating something else but you know brain to your dick is that big. Maybe it'll get all the way up there. I still I'm hung up so much on your name. Because I mean, after this episode, I feel like women are going to or maybe just may be calling saying, I don't know. I feel like your tagline is going to end up being on porn like, and you've been creamed? Yeah, you want some of the creamsicle and then you just give an actual creamsicle I don't know. I feel like there could be ice cream man porn now. Oh, yes. There's so much porn you can cover Do you haven't done plumbers? You haven't cleared a woman's pipes out yet and actually cleared her pipes out? Yes, Ryan Creamer 8:06 yes, it's a job that needs to be done. I mean, you can't just and Yvette d'Entremont 8:08 we were talking about this before we started recording but there was one with IKEA. Oh yeah, I mentioned go to IKEA and Toad fight with your girlfriend, people needed and my way of doing that was instead when your girlfriend wants to go to IKEA just hand her your credit card and say I trust you and get yourself some throw pillows that I know you love so much. I think that is wholesome porn that women are going to be like he's in Ryan Creamer 8:35 and then ideally I get kind of this brand. IKEA sponsors me gives me a bunch of their furniture, you know, Alice Vaughn 8:41 maybe they'll just give you throw pillows. I mean, not that that's what I have. I'm like where am I throw pillows from IKEA. I put together an Ikea kitchen cabinet while you watch Grey's Anatomy. Ryan Creamer 8:53 See the problem with that is that I'd actually have to be able to do it and I don't think I can. Yvette d'Entremont 8:57 I love putting together IKEA furniture. It's one of my, like, my husband is very, very good at constructing real things that need construction. So when there's IKEA shit, I'm like, leave me alone. I could actually do this. Yeah, Ryan Creamer 9:08 it's like adult Legos. I'm like, I can do this same Alice Vaughn 9:11 here. When we were getting furniture putting it together. I was the one who was like, oh, there's a hole that needs spackling me do this. Alice does like putting things in holes. Oh shit. We're here for the low hanging fruit guys. I'll get hacky with my humor if I have to. I'm not above that. Look, our tagline is we're discussing the holes and plot holes and port. We'll get hacky with my humor. Occasionally, you're allowed to Ryan anything that you can dangle in front of our listeners in front of the horizon of what you're going to be putting out next. Ryan Creamer 9:41 So yeah, I was saying I try to do these videos like once a week or so I don't think of it as something that's like okay, we need to constantly be making these but so once a week I try to do it. The one that I just recorded is me with my sweater, my tie and my little button up which I have worn in all of them and I'm in the shower fully clothed and as you Haven't nailed which Alice Vaughn 10:00 is exactly how everyone showers. Ryan Creamer 10:02 Yes, exactly normal kind people in the shower with all their clothes on. And yeah, it's me just in the shower and no one comes in there disturbs my shower and fucks me I just get clean and it's really nice. Yvette d'Entremont 10:13 That sounds so sweet. I think we need more of that and pornography. Obviously sometimes Ryan Creamer 10:18 you just need to shower because you have to go to a thing later Alice Vaughn 10:20 with your clothes on things. Exactly. Like I would say you live in LA and it's warm. And that's why but you don't live in LA. No, no, we have him this time on the east coast. So it's true. Yeah, I feel like our guests are either in Los Angeles or New York like there's no other location for funny or for pornographic people. Those are the only two if you're a porn star in Minnesota. We want to hear from you info at two girls when Mike calm I specifically want the Kansas porn stars. There's some shit going on there. I know and I want to get to the bottom of it. Ryan Creamer 10:51 So are most people that you've had on that are in the industry in LA. I imagined that So yeah, Alice Vaughn 10:56 I used to live in Burbank and that is the porno Valley is it really we would go out tomorrow. Breakfast, generally in North Hollywood and we would play this game of fitness model or porn star, because, you know, they would all be wearing leggings and sports bras and it's like, all right, you could, it would be hard to tell but generally we would go with how big are the fake boobs? So not only do they have fake boobs, it's how big it was. If you're a fitness person, you need to have them not hit your face. Sure. I do like the resurgence of real boobs, though in porn nowadays. arsenal fan just say yeah, just say Alice and I are our steering members of the itty bitty titty committee. Love it. I've always been a fan of the small ones. I like the big ones. Look, I just like boobs. Look, I am enjoying the ass era. But I think the boobs are feeling left out right now. Ryan Creamer 11:44 Do you think we're in the ass era currently? Alice Vaughn 11:45 I think the last era might be on I don't think it's on its way out. But I think it peaked. Yes. Possible. I'm gonna hold that for it because fan supporter you are about 70% ass That's really not wrong. I say this is a compliment you have no you haven't asked that white girls would kill for I mean, look, I'm nowhere near me. I'm alcova status were like, perfectly around like that next to the moon, you can't tell the difference. Sure. I mean, decent. I would say I decent Ryan Creamer 12:20 70% as seems like a pretty good ratio. That's like the amount of water that's on the planet. Alice Vaughn 12:25 Alice has asked is a monument to ask us. It's a good ass. I know you can see below me but I actually don't really have legs. It's mostly Yes. You Ryan Creamer 12:33 just walk around on your ass. Let's just Alice Vaughn 12:34 ask scoots really it's just like a little. It's a sachet of Yeah, Ryan Creamer 12:40 but but but but and then it gets the butts stronger because you're you know, using it to move I think that's great. Alice Vaughn 12:45 Pants shopping has always been hard though. I got Ryan Creamer 12:47 to imagine you know, Alice Vaughn 12:49 so we watched a porn this week, not together. Although I kind of wish we did. This was fairly chaste pour and there was not to blow the plot. That's all that happened. We always do. There was a Ryan Creamer 13:01 blow job. Well, I do think it was so much a limitation of the costuming. Alice Vaughn 13:08 Yeah, we watched sponge knob square nuts this week once an…
Full show notes at the publisherYvette and Alice are joined by a man who's humor can only be outmatched by his dick, Tommy Pistol (@TommyPistol ). The multiple AVN award winner sits down with the girls to discuss literal food porn, sex dolls, uncircumcised penises, and the secret to great sex (hint: it's something you aren't "talking about") Support on Patreon for more content! Leave us a review!
D'OH! Alice & Yvette are joined by former Simpsons animator, Anna Maltese (@MalteseAnna) to destroy our childhoods! When Homer gets a new camera, Marge can't help but let her blue hair down and and show us the most "colorful" body paint sex scenes we've ever seen. Alice riding the robot. Get extra content and support us on Patreon! Leave us a review!
Yvette and Alice recaps Alice's time at the AVNs and AEEs (adult entertainment expo). Link to the now infamous video of her on a motorized pleasure machine. Make sure to support us on Patreon for more videos from the event...as well as to see the weird staircase jacuzzi from her hotel. Support us on Patreon
What's it like to direct a porn? What was left on the cutting room floor? Who doesn't listen to porn with the volume blaring? All these questions and more are answered as Alice & Yvette sit down with Lee Roy Myers (@leeroymyers)--film director, producer, screenwriter, and founder of Woodrocket specializing in parody porn! Don't forget to leave us a review! Support us on Patreon!
Alice and Yvette get on a tangent about semen; why Alice is storing a 5 gallon bucket of cum in her closet, how it's not a cure for back pain, and not to be used for cooking whether it be as glaze or mixed drink. They also review the 1982 post-apocalyptic classic, Cafe Flesh. Bear with us as Alice's microphone breaks midway through recording and we discuss role-play with milkmen dressed up like rats. Link to Semen Cookbook. Support us on Patreon for extra content!
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