They Talk Sex

Latest Episodes:

The StripClub and Security Episode May 29, 2023

Show notes

Nate Hazen is a certified bouncer in the state of Oregon and works in downtown Portland. Meet your host’s coworker and listen as we swap stories and tips on how to be safer and more fun as a patron of the adult entertainment industries.

2:00 could you work in a strip club with the lights and loud music?

6:00 felons, veterans, and foster system kids

9:00 de-escalation and working downtown Portland

12:00 on men who shouldn’t be bouncers

15:00 some people have intent to be malicious

22:00 basic etiquette for beginners and all

25:00 don’t come in the club w/o money

28:00 on no-touching rules

31:00 DTF = down to fuck, btw

35:00 on tip-out being unfair

40:00 where my dogs at?

44:00 maybe a tv show about portland strippers?

48:00 death and grief in the industry

53:00 on being street smart and vigilant

57:00 don’t hit on the dancers when you work with them

1:00:00 pay attention to when you feel shame

——————

Find your guest on IG @natehazen and @stripcitytv

Find your guest’s OF on onlyfans.com/johnny_banana

Find your host on IG @stripperwriter @elle_stanger @theytalksexpodcast

Find your host on Twitter @ellestanger

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by Kimono Microthin Condoms - use 20MICROTHIN for 20% off your AMAZON purchase before June 27th, ‘23

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Disability and Sexuality Episode May 22, 2023

Show notes

How might one person manage their co-occurring chronic illnesses and disabilities, and have a fulfilling sex life? Meet Katherine Harlow the Park Avenue Pinup and discover how she strategizes her health, pleasure, and functioning. Learn some care tips and disability advocacy with us.

2:00 endometriosis, pelvic floor disorder, narcolepsy, Autism, PTSD

5:00 70% of people with pelvic floor dysfunction have TMJ

7:00 tips for self care and immune system support

9:00 some of us wanted to be adult entertainers

12:00 cis men have been born with endometriosis too

15:00 strategy around chronic pain

18:00 vaginismus is a symptom of larger pelvic floor dysfunction

22:00 “admin drain” - @invalidart

25:00 more feedback on invisible disability

28:00 disabled people are accused of lying

31:00 self-advocacy and interviewing doctors

33:00 how can partners help?

37:00 tips for managing pain

40:00 she’s on the same sexting app as your host

45:00 Andew Gurza resources

49:00 queer and trans people are more likely to be disabled

53:00 burlesque is not sex work, true

55:00 more resources like Mia Mingus, @itswalela

Sponsored by OpenEasier.com - research based non-monogamy resources.

Find our guest on theparkavenuepinup.com

Find your host on ellestanger.com

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sexuality and Catholicism Episode May 14, 2023

Show notes

What might healthy spirituality and sexuality look like for Catholics? Let’s meet Sister Shannon who specializes in pleasure and shame-less education and self help for her online audiences, and opposition to her work.

1:00 she’s been deactivated online 3x

3:00 sexual support for Catholics: there is a need

6:00 common questions: masturbation, family shame

9:00 imagine Mother Mary as a single mother

12:00 How do folks relate to Catholicism and sexuality?

15:00 “widen your knees” instead of “spread your legs”

17:00 The Old Testament had erotica in it! “Song of songs”

22:00 Sister Shannon’s current best contact info is hello@catholixwhohavesex.com

25:00 the church does not let gay people get married or women be priests - don’t beg the hierarchy

26:00 God is non-binary?

30:00 who is reporting Shannon’s IG online?

34:00 Mary Magdalene wasn’t a sex worker, sorry

37:00 abstinence “education” results in a lot of shame and guilt

40:00 bad experiences motivated Elle to find better ones

45:00 Richard Rohr, Lavonne Briggs

49:00 God probably doesn’t care if you have multiple sexual partners

52:00 this show can be surprisingly unsexy :)

55:00 does God approve of Jesus-memes?

Find Shannon on IG @ItsSisterShannon or @Sister.Shannon

Sponsored by OpenEasier.com - research based non-monogamy resources.

Find your host on ellestanger.com

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Androgyny and Masculinity Episode May 08, 2023

Show notes

Tom-boys, dykes, butch females, masc4masc, men, and more: how do nonbinary , cis men, and masculine-leaning people experience our world? It’s a spectrum of intersectionality! We speak with one person about gender, licensed sex therapist Grace Ballard.

2:00 Classic psychotherapy vs Buddhist psychotherapy

4:00 some people love to be disruptive to others

8:00 on OCSB (out-of control sexual behavior)

13:00 playful, competitive, aggressive, touching = the gym

16:00 legitimacy in the workplace

19:00 work clothing is performative

21:00 how do you express your gender?

25:00 how does Elle express femininity for swork?

29:00 on gender and power play

33:00 masc people report boundary pushing too

37:00 on street harassment

40:00 take a woman-centered approach?

43:00 on sexual functioning for men

47:00 men and women need each other

53:00 demonizing masculinity prevents people from being truly healthy

55:00 homophobia robs men of healthy touch

59:00 diversify your touch

1:03:00 break all the fashion rules

1:06:00 resources: Doug Braun-Harvey, Liz Plank and more

Sponsored by OpenEasier.com - research based non-monogamy resources.

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Find our guest at graceballard.com

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Curvy Sex and Pornmaker Episode May 01, 2023

Show notes

April Flores is an award winning pornmaker with almost two decades of years of experience and knowledge about the adult film industries. We talk sex, dating, and grief. Listen to her!

3:00 “Fat Girl” photo art book in 2013

6:00 on being approached by Belladonna

9:00 the actual sex part is a small part

13:00 on having fake answers for real questions

16:00 on rigorous STI screening for pornmakers

18:00 on her late husband Carlos Batts

22:00 it’s a mindfuck, death

26:00 on fandom from former teenagers (adults)

31:00 praise kinks vs baseline respect

35:00 the importance of other SW friends

39:00 on aging as a performer

42:00 screening dates as a performer

46:00 a ghostly protector

48:00 toy tips for bigger bodies

52:00 NY vs LA dating

58:00 on studying fat pornography

1:03:00 “people wanna see my lonjas”

1:07:00 on working with friends

Find April on onlyfans.com/theaprilflores

Find your host on ellestanger.com

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com now: research based non-monogamy resources.

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sexual Freedoms Episode 2 Nov 13, 2022

Show notes

Do you want to understand what human rights are at risk in the United States? How is social media censorship linked to facsism and reproductive care? How to identify bogus organizations that lie with well-framed media campaigns? Listen to Woodhull Freedom Foundation folks Ricci Levy and Mandy Salley, and enjoy our last episode of this season. See you in 2023!

3:00 what is Woodhull Freedom Foundation?

6:00 incarcerated women shackled while in labor

9:00 attacks on human rights in the US

12:00 Governor Abott in Texas sucks so bad

15:00 government overreach and intended consequences

18:00 how to identify anti-advocacy groups

21:00 it is vitally important to vote

25:00 on framing messages to mislead

29:00 on life less safe

33:00 Meta allows harm language, not arousal language

37:00 AI searches for CSAM but broadly

40:00 shadowbanning makes people poorer

44:00 impacts on libraries, schools, disabilities

48:00 how to discover if an org is unethical?

54:00 WFF is not as impacted online

1:02:00 when AI goes bad

1:07:00 resources for sexual freedom

www.woodhullfoundation.org

@WoodhullFreedom on all social media platforms

@Mandy_Farsace on Twitter

@RicciLevy onTwitter

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Sexology and Therapy Episode Nov 07, 2022

Show notes

Our guest is a non-judgemental therapy intern, sometimes-sex worker, cannabis educator, and sexuality educator. Danielle Simpson-Baker’s work is for couples and singles, and we offer practical advice for people trying to manage and repair relationship conflicts.

3:00 therapy, sexology, cannabis education and sw

6:00 whorephobia in academia and how we are fighting it

9:00 experience in full-service, with privilege

13:00 representation as a Black woman

16:00 things ppl don’t want to tell their therapist YET

20:00 more therapist-shaming, on cannabis and porn

27:00 how to reconnect after a partner-conflict?

30:00 on non-sexual bonding first, after a conflict

33:00 how to help a partner with shame

36:00 porn and comedians perpetuate false messages

39:00 sensate focus therapy practice

43:00 on grief and sexuality

45:00 feeling guilty about pleasure after a death

48:00 talking about a taboo desire

52:00 hate mail can be hilarious

56:00 on privilege despite doing illegal sex work

59:00 “turning toward” makes better relationships

1:02:00 @cptsdwhisperer is nonbinary, to clarify

1:06:00 Dr Lex Brown - resource + recommendation

1:09:00 on going down

FIND YOUR GUEST: sexpottherapyllc.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Pegging Book Episode Oct 30, 2022

Show notes

Let’s talk about anal penetration with a strap-on! History, meaning and context around a popular and hot-button activity, enjoyed by people of all genders and orientations and identities. The Pegging Book co-author joins me to talk about butt stuff.

3:00 why write this book

7:00 Marquis de Sade was a revolutionary sicko

11:00 Luna Matatas coined “peg the patriarchy”

15:00 queer opposition

19:00 Mistress may I suck your c*ck?

23:00 clean butt tips

27:00 silicone lube tricks

31:00 consensual injury desire?

35:00 no coercion plz

40:00 how else should I prep?

42:00 black nitrile gloves rule

46:00 back up on it instead

52:00 Carol Queen and Bend Over Boyfriend

55:00 toolshedtoys.com

58:00 communication and lubrication

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

FIND YOUR GUEST: thepeggingbook.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Anti-Sex Trafficking Episode 2 Oct 23, 2022

Show notes

Camille* was a college kid who met a man that changed her life in a very bad way, and she tells how manipulation, isolation, and physical abuse entrapped her into being forced to work sex, and illegally. She’s free now and pursuing a new life, and justice.

4:00 child sexual abuse mention

7:00 traphouses aren’t cool

10:00 on being isolated

13:00 the Starbucks incident

17:00 no debit card, no phone privacy

20:00 leaving a social media trail

23:00 the FBI contacted her

26:00 hospital disclosure

28:00 “elevating out of the game” is BS

33:00 more brainwashing and isolation

35:00 a police arrest in Los Angeles

37:00 on “ride or die”

42:00 victim blaming about rape

45:00 she finally escaped after two years

48:00 not all pimps are bad, she says

51:00 if you can sell twat, you can sell food

55:00 consent is the difference in work vs trafficking

57:00 on learning boundaries and trust

1:01:00 how to support survivors and sworkers

1:05:00 anti-trafficking orgs are a roof but not resources

1:10:00 on making attachment to people

1:14:00 spit on it

1:17:00 show love if you want to help

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Vaginal Health and Irritation Episode Oct 17, 2022

Show notes

Does the stuff you bought at the grocery store burn your genitals? Ever forgotten a tampon up there? Learn some tips for vulva and vaginal health, and hear why Momotaro Apotheca started making their own preventative-and-healing products.

1:00 for irritation and infections

4:00 the hot spring incident

7:00 monistat and vagisil can mess you up

10:00 challenges to developing vulva/vaginal care products

13:00 the stripper pole isn’t safe either - in terms of germs

15:00 condoms break, Ass-to-vag happens, nobody’s “perfect”

18:00 do not use Summer’s Eve

21:00 what vaginal issues do YOU deal with?

24:00 wash your damn hands

27:00 ever forgot a tampon up there?

31:00 can you tell your partner?

35:00 do you also check your scent?