They Talk Sex

Latest Episodes:

The Sex Lives of African Women Episode Jul 25, 2022

Show notes

Our guest Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah collected the stories of African women from all over the globe for years in a blog before she released her book on “self-discovery, freedom, and healing”. We discuss gender, power, feminism, people, and shame.

2:00 meet your guest

5:00 genital reconfiguration for pleasure or mutilation

8:00 stories of self discovery

11:00 on libido in middle age

14:00 child sexual abuse

17:00 on abortion in places where it is illegal

21:00 medical professional and race

25:00 how to unlearn feelings of guilt

29:00 it takes a village to raise a child

34:00 why are some young men so rushed during sex?

37:00 on anxiety and rushing and violence

42:00 the hungry vagina concept

45:00 kink and polyamorous people can experience discrimination

47:00 when marriage is revered

50:00 a cliteral sex tip

FIND YOUR GUEST: www.darkoathewriter.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

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Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Ask a Submissive Episode Jul 19, 2022

Show notes

Lina Dune is a bisexual submissive in a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship and she is a proponent of healing-BDSM. Meet the web’s @askasub and receive advice from a fairy godmother of kink and relationships.

2:00 what is a 24/7 sub?

5:00 gender roles can be kinky

8:00 importing themes of external oppression

11:00 male subs are people too

13:00 violence and sexual violence warning

16:00 you can’t please everyone

19:00 what might look confusing to an onlooker?

24:00 how to spot take doms

27:00 doms are people too

30:00 Doms should be vetted on their politics

33:00 why No is not a Safeword

36:00 how to regulate after a scene

40:00 BDSM comes from a place off mutual respect

44:00 on One Penis Policies
48:00 I don’t need multiple dicks in my life to be a feminist

53:00 on compatibility

56:00 how kink has been helpful

61:00 schedule your sex

FIND YOUR GUEST on askasub.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Surrogate Partner Therapy Episode Jul 05, 2022

Show notes

Would you pay someone to teach you how to be sexual and intimate? Some people do! Surrogate partners work with clients to learn their bodies and how to have consensual, boundaried, erotic contact with others. Brian Gibney of bgsurrogatetherapy.com talks about touch, legality, and a misleading movie related to surrogate partner therapy.

1:00 he helps people learn to be sexual and intimate

4:00 Cheryl Cohen Greene sounds awesome

6:00 reasons why people seek out a surrogate partner

10:00 what is the training process like?

13:00 examples of boundary exercises

15:00 people cry a LOT

18:00 teaching people how to say No and Yes confidently

23:00 freedom to be yourself

26:00 some clients are not in distress, others are

29:00 challenges of the surrogate partner work

32:00 clients may fall in love and experience an ending

35:00 yes it affects how we do dating as providers

39:00 your host cries again here

44:00 do clients have to be attractive?

47:00 how can LMFTs work with surrogate partners?

53:00 on Brian’s deceased son with disabilities

58:00 life should be less painful

FIND YOUR GUEST briangibney.org

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Retired Stripper Episode Jun 27, 2022

Show notes

You may know her comics, art, or stripper-social media: listen how Jacqueline Frances is adapting to a new and divorced life after stripping.

1:00 I love a new crowd

4:00 convince me to invest in you

7:00 why she is retiring from stripping

10:00 on becoming internet-and-club-famous

13:00 how stripping culture has changed in a decade

16:00 content warning for sexual assault

20:00 thirst traps doing good work

24:00 Jacq has a new book

28:00 any advice for my last year of stripping?

31:00 a note on positionality

34:00 hustle tips pleeeease

38:00 my body is a hot resource

45:00 be careful when flaunting cash online

49:00 strippers can tell you when the economy is bad

53:00 if I’m not getting money, I’m getting knowledge

56:00 Jacq’s plans for her future

FIND YOUR GUEST: jacqthestripper.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Sex Work and Discrimination Episode Jun 20, 2022

Show notes

Nikki Gilliland was kicked out of college, ostracized by her town, and had her children taken away after her professor decided to target her for her decade-retired pornstar past. Now she’s suing the state of Oregon in a historic Title IX discrimination case.

1:00 she was blocked from college for her former porn career

3:00 Nina Hartley was her first lesbian scene

7:00 she didn’t know people hated pornmakers so much

11:00 Coos Bay, Oregon really sucks in a lot of ways

14:00 “only classy women can be nurses”

16:00 her kids were taken away

18:00 the social work system in Oregon is pretty messed up too

25:00 escorting is “legal” in Utah, but not prostitution lol

28:00 disclaimer on the term “clean” and STIs

31:00 how might I explain my xxx work to future children?

35:00 when your entire town hates you, it’s dangerous

37:00 sex worker outreach groups

43:00 the minority stress perspective

46:00 let’s talk about police raids on legal escorts in Utah

49:00 title IX Discrimination and her historic case

53:00 blowjob tips

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Man Stripper Episode Jun 13, 2022

Show notes

Your host interviews Chicago entertainer Ben Krane about his work and experiences in stripping, gogo-dancing, and internet content creation.

3:00 Boys Town neighborhood in Chicago

5:00 short kings in Hydrate Night Club

9:00 FOSTA/SESTA killed the Tumblr star

12:00 social media restrictions make me poorer

17:00 what’s ur experience with male strippers?

19:00 first kiss with a stripper

23:00 how much groping happens at your job?

25:00 explaining fluffing aka getting “showy”

29:00 owning a ton of undies

33:00 getting to work is half the battle

39:00 straight men in gay/straight strip clubs

42:00 trust no internet platform

47:00 Moms love Chippendale’s

51:00 stereotypes are outliers

55:00 sex tips from our guest

FIND YOUR YOUR GUEST on IG @benkrane_

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Ethics and Sexuality Episode Jun 06, 2022

Show notes

How can we do sex and life more ethically? We take common questions with Margaret King, LPC of attunementpsychotherapy.com

1:00 meet your guest

3:00 why the therapist can’t party with you

8:00 examples of guiding principles and sex

15:00 Don’t slap people without asking

19:00 on public sex without asking everyone’s consent

23:00 on sharing herpes status with hookups

30:00 why not legalization of sex work

32:00 why rope play or kink can heal people

35:00 consent is required and can be sexy

38:00 build trust slowly

40:00 body modification can be healing or self harm

45:00 am I rewriting the narrative or replaying harmful scripts?

48:00 what if my partner doesn’t want to play kink with me?

51:00 what if i get triggered by play?

56:00 police brutality in portland

1:00:00 how cultures express different values

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

FIND YOUR GUEST: Attunementpsychotherapy.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Cis Men’s Issues Episode May 30, 2022

Show notes

Ejaculation issues, stamina, performance anxiety, aggression and shame, learn from Australia’s leading male sexologist Cam Fraser on how to have a better and more ethical sex life.

3:00 - why do this episode?

7:30 “every hole is a goal” - mentality

8:00 pilates and yoga fixed his spine and mind

13:00 challenging narratives about masculinity

15:00 common erectile issues

18:00 elle teaches sex to partners

20:00 communication has to come from both sides

25:00 examples of men’s issues

30:00 vulnerability is hot and powerful

35:00 why prostate orgasms feel different

40:00 SSRI advice and resources

45:00 lube advice

50:00 asexuality in one partner

54:00 pausing or stopping during sex is a human right

1:00:00 stop putting it in my butt without asking!

1:04:00 faster vs harder

FIND YOUR GUEST: cam-fraser.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Trauma and Sex Therapy Episode Feb 08, 2022

Show notes

Finding a good therapist, partner-dynamics, kink, embodiment, sensory issues, and conscious relationships: Katherine Friedman, LPC has expert guidance and therapy resources, in an episode on some of our favorite, complex topics.

1:00 meet your guest

3:00 being informed by her clients

7:00 tips for finding a good therapist

10:00 keeping secrets from your therapist

13:00 why do folks like or dislike therapy?

17:00 what is DBT?

21:00 fuck you, zuckerberg

25:00 when your male partner is too rough

29:00 is your partner respecting your consent?

35:00 can I do rape role play without disclosing my assaults?

40:00 how can a submissive learn to be dominant?

43:00 repetitive masturbation style

47:00 ADHD and sex

52:00 previously “promiscuous” and current lack of interest

57:00 kinks vs fetishes

1:02:00 commonly reported kinks and fetishes

1:06:00 resources and recommendations

FIND YOUR GUEST: psychologytoday.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Lube and Vaginal Health Episode Feb 01, 2022

Show notes

Let’s learn about lube! GoodCleanLove owner Wendy Strgar and I talk a little history, some science, and hear feedback on why people love or loathe using personal lubricants.

1:00 she created a lube to fix her own problems

4:00 the science of lube

7:00 you are what you eat

10:00 gut health and vaginal health

13:00 a lot of people with vaginas experience mysterious irritation

16:00 hybrid lubes - what are they?

20:00 silicone lube can be fun or give you an infection or stain

24:00 why do you use lubricant? Or not?

27:00 rushing your sex isn’t helpful

32:00 does chewing tobacco increase chance of infection from oral?

37:00 performance anxiety impacts people

42:00 on heating-type lubricants