They Talk Sex

Latest Episodes:

The Trans Issues and Kink Episode Jan 24, 2022

Show notes

Let’s get elbow deep in complex topics like kink, neurodiversity, trauma healing and trans gender issues. Writer Cosima bee Concordia aka “Bimbo Theory” joins me here and you can find her on Patreon too.

1:00 her new IG is @bimbo.theory

3:00 what is kink?

7:00 ADHD and sluggish cognitive tempo

9:00 lists and timers can be helpful for ADHD

13:00 moral panic around trans people

15:00 informed consent models

18:00 on “pegging the patriarchy”

22:00 Greek men had rules for how they were allowed to have anal sex

25:00 on pegging

30:00 I want leather education!

33:00 BDSM book recommendation - “Leathersex”

36:00 blood play and risk

40:00 submissives and service-topping

45:00 nicknames and pet names

49:00 r*pe-role play

53:00 eroticized taboos

56:00 examples of many types of kink play

59:00 resources for cis people dating newly-transitioned folks

FIND YOUR GUEST at https://linktr.ee/bimbotheory

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Internet Pornmaking Episode 2 Jan 17, 2022

Show notes

Why do some people enjoy making visual erotica? How does censorship of consensual sex make it harder to address human trafficking? What can porn teach us for better, or worse? Guest and entertainer Ginger Banks explains her journey and offers resources for learning about porn and the people who make it.

Timestamps:

1:00 she’s been kicked off IG six times so far

3:00 market research - what her clients like

8:00 how do we do public education as whores?

12:00 only some of “us” can talk about what we experience

15:00 what is FOSTA SESTA and how is it killing people?

19:00 her examples of ethical porn

22:00 media coaching can helps us communicate

25:00 most people have not had a threesome, ok

27:00 reflections of an unhealthy relationship

31:00 it might be tough to heal from someone if you still see them regularly

34:00 on monetizing daddy issues

39:00 respectability issues and attitudes

43:00 receptive anal is the most likely way to transmit HIV

47:00 how to not ripped off by clip sellers

52:00 Ron Jeremy is a POS

56:00 how to encourage safer venues

1:01:00 Mia Khalifa and her story being manipulated

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

Ask a Doctor - Sexual Health Edition Episode Jan 10, 2022

Show notes

Got sexual health questions? Primary care physician and consent educator Dr Evelin Dacker has information and tips for people of all ages.

Timestamps:

1:00 meet your doctor

3:00 sexual health isn’t taught to most medical experts

6:00 why does my vulva get wet with a tampon in?

8:00 vulvodynia due to birth control for some folks

12:00 does your doctor deserve your disclosure?

15:00 being “out” as a sex-positive doctor

18:00 seeing sexuality through all the ages

22:00 urinary tract infections and D-mannose

24:00 hysterectomy tips

28:00 cervical orgasms

31:00 how is the CDC sex-negative?

38:00 assess your actual risks

41:00 multiple partners does not equal more STIs

48:00 can a lot of masturbation hurt me?

53:00 is there any benefit to semen retention?

57:00 diabetes and erectile/engorgement complications

1:00:00 resources and recs

FIND YOUR GUEST: www.evelindacker.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

Ask Us Anything Episode - Queer Sex Worker Edition Dec 14, 2021

Show notes

Ever wanted to ask my slutty pals all your most embarrassing questions? We cover a lot with Valentine, a biracial, queer, veteran sex worker, and friend. Let’s talk dating, pornmaking, kink, burnout, and self-help.

1:00 meet your guest, Valentine

4:00 why be closeted?

7:00 filming porn with mascs vs femmes

10:00 pregnant sex workers and choice

13:00 how we feel about sexting apps

22:00 know how to set an appropriate vibe

27:00 tips for anxious club customers

31:00 strippers get nervous too

35:00 and we fart on the customers we don’t like

36:00 tips to prevent dating burnout

40:00 more dating advice for sex workers and those who love us

44:00 when your partner has anger issues

49:00 how to do Dom/Sub in public, discreetly

55:00 how to enjoy sex after sexual assault

59:00 you can conquer anything if you believe in yourself

1:00:00 sensory issues and sex anxiety

1:03:00 gender-neutral endearment

1:08:00 libido differences in partners/couples

1:13:00 penis envy in women?

1:19:00 foot fetish-conflict advice

1:25:00 sworkers can teach us a lot!

FIND YOUR GUEST: www.darlingvalentine.me

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Vibrators and Sex Tech Episode Dec 06, 2021

Show notes

How does public opinion of sex toys shape their design? On vibrators, let’s talk history, personal preferences, and horror stories with guest and innovative toy designer Ti Chang.

1:00 what was the first vibrator you ever owned?

4:00 some buyers are ashamed of their pleasure

8:00 standards and testing rigor of the future

12:00 sex toys in the mall? Yes and maybe

15:00 common design issues or complaints

18:00 pros of a tiny toy - less intimidating for new users

21:00 suction toys can be intense for sensitive folks

25:00 I learn something new with every sex convo

28:00 brief history of covert sex toys

33:00 poorly made toys can hurt you

37:00 magnets - how do they work?

40:00 listener submitted sex toy horror stories

45:00 when toys get stuck in a rectum or colon

48:00 tech can help with disabled sex too

52:00 attitudes about pleasure informs how products are made

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

FIND YOUR GUEST: Lovecrave.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Satanism and Sexuality Episode Nov 29, 2021

Show notes

How does a non-theistic religion relate to sexuality, consent, human trafficking, and personal rituals? Our expert academic Dr Sprankle teaches about history and the impacts of religiosity on human sexuality.

1:00 he’s a twitter hit

4:00 this is a good long running joke

8:00 Satanists don’t believe in a literal devil

10:00 no prohibitions on taboos, yes to consent

13:00 occultism or rationalism, and rituals

16:00 how society treats sex workers can lead to stressors

21:00 a religion of Self

25:00 listener questions

28:00 ejaculations are healthy

31:00 ritual can be impactful

34:00 the history of “satanic panic”

39:00 underlying themes and messaging

45:00 a random web search

50:00 resources

54:00 all the popes have been accused of satanism

FIND YOUR GUEST: at drspankle.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Grief and Sexuality Episode Nov 23, 2021

Show notes

In a culture that doesn’t understand grief, how do survivors of intimate partner death loss navigate their sexuality? Counselor and author Megan Devine offers help with libido, relationships and shame.

1:00 she was a counselor before her husband died

3:00 reflecting on the “before” life

7:00 death can feel like different rooms in hell

9:00 people are afraid of death and sexuality

12:00 the blaming suicide survivors or victims

13:00 elle’s advice for suicide grief survivors

17:00 craving their body that no longer exists

22:00 anchoring, comforting, sex can help

26:00 what is normal?

29:00 what is working for my healing? what is more dangerous?

35:00 any kind of pleasure during grief can create guilt

40:00 personal agency is important

43:00 pleasure doesn’t cancel out pain

47:00 skin to skin contact is soothing

52:00 loving again feels scary

55:00 a new podcast about grief - for helpers!

1:00:00 when the connection urge still exists:

1:05:00 resources and recommendations

1:08:00 sex after death advice means having curiosity

FIND YOUR GUEST: at RefugeinGrief.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Consent and Queer Sex Episode Nov 16, 2021

Show notes

Have you ever accidentally or knowingly pushed on someone’s boundaries? We all have, so how do we communicate our needs and heal our harm? Let’s talk about queerness, flirting, sex, and accountability in trauma and relationships with writer Clementine Morrigan.

1:00 meet your guest

5:00 examples of how consent can be confused

6:00 queer imposter syndrome

10:00 verbal consent doesn’t work for everyone

13:00 i identify a traumatized, nice to meet you

16:00 knowing your own triggers is quite helpful

20:00 crossing men’s boundaries

23:00 drinking, drugs, and consent

27:00 taking a pause is necessary and sometimes sexy

31:00 how to communicate when you’re tied up?

36:00 subs gotta use their safe words when they need ‘em

40:00 intent matters and is relevant

45:00 kids and modeled consent

50:00 penetration isn’t inherent to sex play

53:00 sex without penetration is sex

58:00 reflections of how we messed up before

Find your host on ellestanger.com

Follow your host on Patreon.com/strangebedfellows for just $1 a month

FIND YOUR GUEST: clementinemorrigan.com

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes atPatreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends atNetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Guide to Breakups Episode Nov 09, 2021

Show notes

Is your heart still hurting and you need help with moving on? There’s a book for that, and I chat with the author, counselor Erin E. Davidson.
1:00 guest background

3:00 Elle’s quick tips for getting over people

6:00 breakups can be a type of grief

9:00 when you find excuses to contact them

13:00 recruiting your breakup team

17:00 rumination and “switching tracks”

22:00 life will be better again if you can leave safely

27:00 disenfranchised grief

31:00 on being judged for divorcing AGAIN

35:00 the right relationship for the time being

41:00 some silly study on feeling better over time

45:00 breakup pain can go up and down

50:00 resources

53:00 Elle says F U to an ex

FIND YOUR GUEST: https://linktr.ee/erin.e.davidson

FIND YOUR HOST: st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Foreskin and Male Circumcision Episode Nov 01, 2021

Show notes

Foreskin removal and reconstruction: guest Eric Cunningham shares history and medical knowledge relating to penis-altering procedures around the world.

1:00 language disclaimer

5:00 penis circumcision is fairly rare, worldwide

8:00 circumcision in the US originated due to misbeliefs

11:00 war and enslavement and the marking of genitals

15:00 Alexander the great wanted to stop genital cutting

20:00 the Olympics relates to circumcision

30:00 chastity devices

32:00 surgeries conducted on genitals to prevent sexual function

38:00 you have frenulums all over

42:00 ribbed condoms mimic foreskin

47:00 circumcision doesn’t seem to reduce STI transmission

57:00 resource recommendations