They Talk Sex

Latest Episodes:

The Sex Work and Relationships Episode Aug 14, 2023

Show notes

What are your personal ethics around sex work and matrimony? Why do some people share their interactions with spouses and other people hide them? How to support your partner in sex work? Is it cheating to pay for services? Let’s discuss this with a happily married sex worker, Jessie Sage.

1:00 a spicy viral twitter post

4:00 cancer, and caregiver roles

7:00 what work she’s done in sex

10:00 feedback from her clients

14:00 a public-facing nonbinary spouse

18:00 on blaming the sex worker

22:00 oral sex or we aren’t getting married

26:00 helping sex lives of other spouses

29:00 disclosing to your family that you’re dating a sex worker

34:00 keep it simple and name what is happening

39:00 besties who get weird around SW

44:00 outsiders and misunderstanding

48:00 addressing their shame

51:00 how to be a supportive partner article

56:00 @thotscholar, Lorelei Lee writing recommendation

FIND YOUR GUEST on JessieSage.com and Cybelerain.com

Twitter.com/Saptiotextual

FIND Y OUR HOST st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The ADHD and Sexuality Episode Aug 07, 2023

Show notes

Who else has ADHD? Our guest noticed a lack of sexuality-related info for people with attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder. For two decades he has served people who need help with dating, sex, self-care and relating. Let’s learn and laugh with therapist and author Ari Tuckman.

3:00 he wrote the books because there was a lack of help for ADHD-ers

5:00 a lot of mental health and medical pros have little or no sex education

7:00 he gravitates to people with ADHD

10:00 how does ADHD make dating hard for you?

14:00 more examples

19:00 people-pleasing behaviors

25:00 maintaining interest after novelty wanes

30:00 ADHD and staying in the mood

34:00 moving on after oopsies

37:00 other tips for re-directing your attention

41:00 more ways that ADHD can show up during sex

44:00 one study about ADHD people and sex

49:00 quirky can be charming or annoying, truly

55:00 medication and sleep question

FIND YOUR GUEST on AdultADHDbook.com

FIND Y OUR HOST st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Surrogate Partner Therapy Episode 2 Jul 31, 2023

Show notes

Why do some people pay others to teach them how to be sexual and intimate? Surrogate partners work with clients to learn their bodies and how to have consensual, boundaried, erotic contact with others. Brandon of AmpersandIntimacy expands on our previous episode about surrogate partner therapy, and the benefits and barriers to these treatments.

3:00 gaming and play, kink and sex

6:00 previously he was a clinician

9:00 on people who aren’t listening to my boundaries

13:00 who his clients typically are

16:00 on why people pay for sexual touch

22:00 not being distracted or disturbed

24:00 hygiene requests

27:00 scheduled sex for couples

29:00 on over-regulation

33:00 client-rejection

37:00 being mean to push me away

41:00 sex therapy is historically for white hetero men

46:00 what is Upnegotiating and how to avoid it?

48:00 some people test things

52:00 tell me your boundaries PLZ

58:00 sex tips

FIND YOUR GUEST at ampersandintimacy.com

FIND Y OUR HOST st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Stripping and Sexuality Episode Jul 24, 2023

Show notes

Let’s talk with Leilah of A Stripper’s Guide about privacy issues and safety, queerness at the stripclub, and listen as she gives tips on setting boundaries and maintaining a healthier relationship with partners and self.

3:00 she works night shifts for a few reasons

7:00 curious but condescending

10:00 plz don’t ask her about her sex life

12:00 “gold star lesbian” discussion

15:00 on the asexuality spectrum: demisexual

18:00 artificial intelligence

24:00 feeling shame vs seeking privacy

28:00 I identify with the slutty-looking girl

33:00 private about her sex life

37:00 on sounding polite while setting boundaries

42:00 image impacting income

45:00 on seeming available

47:00 non-sexual methods of partner bonding

53:00 on feeling touched-out

1:00:00 book recommendations

FIND YOUR GUEST at astrippersguide.com

FIND Y OUR HOST st ripperwriter.com

See Elle’s $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Sponsored by our friends at NetherlandsWax.com

Condoms and Lube can be found on Condomania.com - code THEYTALKSEX for a discounted first order!

Need a waterproof blanket? Sponsored by Love-Bl anket.com - 10% OFF with code THEYTALKSEX

Looking for quality vibes? Get 15% off at LoveCrave.com

Thanks for rating and reviewing this podcast :)

The Spirituality and Sexuality Episode 2 Jul 17, 2023

Show notes

How does spirituality and sexuality relate? It depends on who you are and what you believe. For this episode we talk sex and spells with guest Serena the Blessed who is a Black, Indigenous, Jewish trans-femme tarot reader and magic-maker in Portland, Oregon.

3:00 how magic works

6:00 OYE ancestors and priesthood family

10:00 “Black” magic and Hoodoo and Voodoo, Santeria

13:00 Yoruba origins of “queen”

16:00 gay culture can be different than queer culture

21:00 all oppression is connected

23:00 more genders than two were common

29:00 Hoodoo and Voodoo work

33:00 her offerings

40:00 in what ways can I practice spiritual sexuality

45:00 on masking identity

50:00 seduction vs shining brightly

57:00 counseling and spirituality for Black Americans

1:04:00 white people can be poisonous

1:11:00 Third Eye Books and Cally’s Hot Wigs

Find our guest on IG @serenatheblessed

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Silver Sexuality and Sex Work Episode Jul 10, 2023

Show notes

Let’s talk about aging and sexuality with an elder provider and playwright. Charla Hathaway became “a whore at fifty-four”, and she shares some things she’s learned.

3:00 starting her life over at fifty-four

6:00 anal play table-turning

9:00 Joseph Kramer on body healing

11:00 on the term “prostitute”

16:00 expert level hustling mastery

20:00 how to lead an erotic session

25:00 backlash

29:00 body changes and adapting sexual practices

34:00 older guys want intimacy too

37:00 breathing reminders

42:00 how to lead an erotic session 2

46:00 men being taught to receive

51:00 she has a September show coming up

54:00 things to reflect on?

57:00 the body is a temple

Find our guest at charlahathaway.com

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Don’t sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COM

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sexuality and Cancel Culture Episode Jun 26, 2023

Show notes

How does social standing relate to sexuality and dating? Have you ever been ostracized for reasons unclear, or been targeted in a smear campaign? Licensed counselor Halle Thomas joins me to discuss the complex issues and impacts of cancel-bullying.

2:00 former Catholic, queer and Creole

4:00 writing about shame

6:00 grief, racial and sexual identity and relational problems

9:00 originated in Black queer spaces

12:00 elle hates it when people lie about abuse

18:00 cancel-bullying is a suicide risk

21:00 obsessive behavior and unhealthy impacts

25:00 RSD - rejection sensitivity dysphoria

29:00 Elle hits pregnant strippers, pass it on

31:00 making people houseless for “justice”

38:00 how to recognize people that aim to be destructive

42:00 stalking and violence and victim’s gender

45:00 when you’re being targeted

54:00 definition of fighting

57:00 identifying friends who exaggerate claims against them

1:01:00 impact vs intent

1:06:00 Bebe Montoya, Africa Brooke, Juniper Cameryn, Clementine Morrigan, Jay Lesoleil - cancellation resources

1:10:00 life after cancellation

Find your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcast

Find your host on Twitter @ellestanger

Follow our guest on IG @chicorycounseling and

chicorycounseling.com

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by Aqua Lube– 20AQUALUBE takes 20% off your lube purchase through June 27th.

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sexuality and Pornmaker Episode Jun 19, 2023

Show notes

She came, she saw, she conquered pornmaking and media: meet Joanna Angel and learn what her work and married life is like as a longtime porn icon of our generation. We have jokes and marketing advice!

1:00 on feature-dancing and stripclub work

4:00 she works in marketing

8:00 started stripping to pay for her porn site

11:00 a golden era of stripping

14:00 the hottest people don’t make the most

17:00 monogamy and porn work

21:00 jealousy and business and work

24:00 what do the fans say?

29:00 the heyday of gonzo porn

32:00 creating a niche kink

36:00 self care and interests

39:00 how to deal with haters and negativity

43:00 younger people innovating porn now

45:00 sex work is not for everyone

49:00 what’s next for Joanna?

52:00 save your money and live your life

55:00 sex tip from a porn queen

Find your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcast

Find your host on Twitter @ellestanger

Follow our guest on IG @ joannaangel

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by Aqua Lube– 20AQUALUBE takes 20% off your lube purchase through June 27th.

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Autism and Sexuality Episode Jun 12, 2023

Show notes

What’s it like for Stoney Faye to be an autistic stripper and parent? Let’s talk about the intersections of disability and sex work, and swap some ridiculous hustle tales.

2:00 disability acceptance

5:00 heightened sensitivities

8:00 on being canceled

10:00 on being a sugar baby

13:00 echolalia and decriminalization of sex work

16:00 not naturally feeling close to people

21:00 sensory stuff and sex

24:00 our libidos are very different but orientations are not

29:00 our fave customer in common

33:00 nerve endings and genitals

36:00 I hate kissing most people

41:00 people who don’t yet know they are autistic

45:00 on hidden queerness

49:00 exploring identity as an adult

51:00 stimming and self-hitting

57:00 detaching from social norms

1:00:00 men dating women (or others) who out-earn them

1:03:00 an autistic friend for the end of the world

Find your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcast

Find your host on Twitter @ellestanger

Follow our guest on IG @ fairyst0ned_

Subscribe to our guest at Allmylinks.com/stoneyfaye

Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.com

Sponsored by Kimono MicroThin XL – use code 20MICROXL on Amazon for 20% off your Kimono purchase through June 27th.

Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening

See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellows

Please rate and review this podcast :)

The Sex Work in Film Episode Jun 05, 2023

Show notes

Let’s speak to Aja Corynn who made the documentary film “Pleasers”. Our guest applies her anthropological background and creative lenses to her experiences as a stripper; Let’s talk stripclubs, relationships, retirement and media.

1:00 anthropologist and former stripper

2:00 why she quit

6:00 California Girls in Anaheim, Deja Vu in Hollywood

10:00 “Black and kinky” NY dominatrixes

14:00 I’m inside looking around

17:00 on survival sex work vs empowerment

22:00 mandatory tipout

27:00 don’t write about strippers if you aren’t one

31:00 racism and in Vegas

36:00 on the good things

40:00 technology replacing strippers?

46:00 bad managerial practices