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    Arts

    The Worst Bestsellers

    We read stuff so you don’t have to.

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    Copyright: Copyright © Worst Bestsellers 2024

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 26 – The Forest of Hands and Teeth Jul 20, 2015
    Show notes

    The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan

    Kait, Renata, and their guest Kelly read The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan. It’s the story of a teenage girl bravely fleeing her oppressive, zombie-infested village to start a new life where she can freely express herself. Or… to be with her true love? Actually maybe she just wants to look at the ocean for awhile. Whatever.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Candy pairing: Kait says Twizzlers, Kelly says Blackpool rock, Renata says Halls cough drops.

    Coming up next: Inferno by Dan Brown.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 25 – True Believer Jul 06, 2015
    Show notes

    True Believer by Nicholas Sparks

    Kait, Renata, and the ghost who lives in Kait’s apartment read True Believer by Nicholas Sparks, the inventor of the “love tragedy” genre. It’s a ghost story without ghosts and a love story without any real romantic chemistry. Listen now to hear our fan theory of how True Believer is a crossover with Outlander!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Nicholas Sparks Confirmed My Fears

    Author Nicholas Sparks accused of being racist, homophobe by ex-head of Sparks-founded school

    Candy pairing: Kait says fake old-timey penny candy, Renata says ghost Peeps.

    Coming up next: The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 24 – Live and Let Die Jun 22, 2015
    Show notes

    Live and Let Die by Ian Fleming

    Kait, Renata, and their guest Molly read Live and Let Die by Ian Fleming. It’s the second James Bond novel and probably the most racist one. (We didn’t read the other ones to confirm, though.) Can 007 possibly win when literally all the black people in America have united against him? What about all of the sea creatures? Listen now to hear us once again urge you to watch the movie instead of reading the book.

    Content warning: We recorded this episode before the Charlestown church shooting. If, in the wake of that horrific hate crime, you are not in the mood to listen to us talk about Ian Fleming’s gross 1950s-era racism, you might want to skip this episode.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: James Bond Memes food infographic

    “Live and Let Die” by Paul McCartney & Wings

    Crocodile Farm Escape Scene from the Live and Let Die movie

    Candy pairing: Kait says candy cigarettes, Molly says Aunt Jemima syrup, Renata says Werther’s Originals.

    Coming up next: True Believer by Nicholas Sparks.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 23 – The Greek Tycoon’s Blackmailed Mistress Jun 08, 2015
    Show notes

    The Greek Tycoon's Blackmailed Mistress by Lynne Graham

    Kait, Renata, and their guest Jennie (of Biblio File and Explaining Songs to My Toddler) read The Greek Tycoon’s Blackmailed Mistress by Lynne Graham. This Harlequin romance novel has more complicated sex paperwork than Fifty Shades of Grey, but less sexy sex. Listen now to find out about what euphemisms for “nipple” wealthy Greek tycoons prefer!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Billionaires and Babies

    What Happened to the Harlequin Romance?

    Mothering Heights: The (Over?) Importance of Procreation in Romance Novels

    Candy pairing: Jennie says Tabasco Jelly Bellies, Kait says white chocolate Kit-Kats, Renata says white chocolate Kit-Kats.

    Coming up next: Live and Let Die by Ian Fleming.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 22 – The Target May 25, 2015
    Show notes

    The Target by David Baldacci

    Kait, Renata, and their guest Nick (@polykinetic) read The Target by David Baldacci. It’s the story of CIA assassins and neo-Nazis and North Korean prison camps, but most of all, it’s the story of the power of maternal love. Actually, most of all, it’s the story of USA! USA! USA! Our discussion of this book is perfect to play over loudspeakers at your Memorial Day BBQs, or any other time you need to feel a searing burst of patriotism.

    Content warning: This book contains scenes of sexual assault and we discuss those scenes in this episode.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Special note: Thanks so much to Malia for donating to support our charitable causes! If you live in Bloomington, Indiana, check out their chapter of the Forever Young Adult book club!

    Also, we’re taking a short survey to see how you guys feel about our podcast!

    Candy pairing: Kait says a birthday party goody bag, Nick says Bazooka Joe, Renata says Pop Rocks.

    Coming up next: The Greek Tycoon’s Blackmailed Mistress by Lynne Graham.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 21 – City of Bones May 11, 2015
    Show notes

    City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

    Kait, Renata, and Kait’s secret cousin Nicole read City of Bones by Cassandra Clare, because we read all the rest of the Harry Potter fanfiction the internet had to offer. This is a book with something for everyone: vampires, werewolves, magical cats, telepathic monks, Shadowhunters, and surprise incest. Listen now for all of that, plus an in-depth discussion of Cassandra Clare’s sordid fandom history!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Nicole’s vlog review of The Knife of Never Letting Go

    The Very Secret Diaries

    Cassandra Clare on Fanlore

    Special note: We’re still raising money for a few charitable causes! Please support us here!

    Thanks to Dee for her support! Make sure to check out her blog, Your Number 54 Fan.

    Candy pairing: Kait says generic M&Ms, Nicole says Cherryheads, Renata says Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans.

    Coming up next: The Target by David Baldacci.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 20 – Disclosure Apr 27, 2015
    Show notes

    Disclosure by Michael Crichton

    Kait, Renata, and returning guest Caroline (of Fantastic Fangirls and Panels) read Disclosure by Michael Crichton. It’s the ultimate sci-fi horror story for white men: a woman sexually harasses a man and lies about it, and everyone believes the woman! Luckily, the intrepid hero is able to use high-tech 1993-era virtual reality to solve his problems and put that lying lady in her place. Prepare your dialup modem for our 20th episode of #MisandryMonday!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Michael Crichton’s notes on Disclosure

    Clip from Community‘s VR episode

    Special note: We’re still raising money for a few charitable causes! Please support us here!

    Candy pairing: Caroline says Peepsters, Kait says Lifesavers Holes, Renata says a Yorkie bar.

    Coming up next: City of Bones by Cassandra Clare.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 19 – Modelland Apr 13, 2015
    Show notes

    Modelland by Tyra Banks

    Kait, Renata, and returning guest Margaret (one of Two Bossy Dames) read Modelland by America’s Top Author Tyra Banks! It’s a fashionable YA dystopia with 550 pages of text and easily 1000 nonsensical made-up concepts. This episode is plus-sized because we had so much to unpack, and also because Margaret is such a delightful Intoxibella that it is difficult to stop talking to her. Put on your best smize and listen now!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: America’s Next Top Model Cycle 17, “Tyson Beckford” (featuring Modelland motion pictorials)

    AV Club Review of ANTM “Tyson Beckford”

    Satellite Dish: Modelland Special

    Special note: We’re raising money for a few charitable causes! Please support us here!

    Thanks to Laura for being our first supporter! Check out her Abortion Access Bowl-a-Thon team.

    Candy pairing: Kait says an elaborate lollipop, Margaret says M&M’s personalized with Tyra Banks’s initials, Renata says a can of whipped cream.

    Coming up next: Disclosure by Michael Crichton.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 18 – Not Cool Mar 30, 2015
    Show notes

    Not Cool by Greg Gutfeld

    Kait, Renata, and their guest Amy read Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and their War on You by Greg Gutfeld. It’s the idle musings of a Fox News correspondent who hates “cool” things, such as Sean Penn, the environment, and minorities. We struggled to unpack the double-speak inherent in Gutfeld’s argument that “uncool” things are actually “cool,” but then, we’re women, and as such are easily swayed by trends (or so we learned). Listen now, if you’re cool enough to have an MP3 player, or uncool enough to listen to podcasts on vinyl!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: In Praise of Fox News’s Greg Gutfeld

    Look at This Fucking Hipster

    Candy pairing: Amy says old gum, Kait says broken glass, Renata says a bag of dicks.

    Coming up next: Modelland by Tyra Banks.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 17 – Flowers in the Attic Mar 16, 2015
    Show notes

    Flowers in the Attic by V. C. Andrews

    Kait, Renata, and their guests Sophi and Stacey read (or re-read) Flowers in the Attic by V. C. Andrews. Some of us reflected fondly about furtively reading this in our childhoods, while others of us struggled to understand the appeal of the Dollanganger saga. Don’t worry–we read the sex scene aloud, so you don’t have to find that dogeared page from your library’s copy. Curl up with your loved ones and listen to the sinful struggles of the devil’s issue!

    Content Warning: Flowers in the Attic contains several types of incest (most prominently sibling incest) and a scene of sexual assault, both of which are discussed in this episode.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: What It’s Like to Date Your Dad

    Candy pairing: Kait says black licorice, Renata says an inedible Christmas ornament, Sophi says Sugar Daddys, and Stacey says Hostess powdered Donettes.

    Coming up next: Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War On You by Greg Gutfeld.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


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