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The Worst Bestsellers — Arts
The Worst Bestsellers

We read stuff so you don’t have to.

Copyright: Copyright © Worst Bestsellers 2024

Latest Episodes:

The Christmas Shoes by Donna VanLiere — Episode 08 – The Christmas Shoes Dec 08, 2014
Show notes

For this very special holiday episode, Kait and Renata are joined by librarian/Christmas enthusiast Ashley to discuss The Christmas Shoes by Donna VanLiere, the bestselling novel based on a #1 hit single. From this book we learned that Heaven has a dress code and that God will kill as many women as he has to in order to teach rich white men the true meaning of Christmas! Pour yourself some eggnog, put on your crying shoes, and settle in for some good old-fashioned holiday emotional manipulation.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Newsong’s “Christmas Shoes” music video

Patton Oswalt’s “Christmas Shoes” animation

The Christmas Shoes movie

Candy pairing: Ashley says candy canes, Kait says generic advent calendar chocolate, Renata says store-bought Christmas cookies.

Coming up next: The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Episode 07 – Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims Nov 24, 2014
Show notes

In this shocking episode, Kait and Renata have their first-ever white male guest, Renata’s brother Reid, to discuss Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims by noted white male Rush Limbaugh. In this book Rush Revere, an irresponsible substitute teacher/iced tea mascot and his talking, time-traveling horse take children of an alarmingly indeterminate age back to meet the Puritans. Listen now to learn about how much the Pilgrims hated socialism!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: American Indians in Children’s Literature’s review of Rush Revere

Two if By Tea, Rush Limbaugh’s actual real life iced tea company

DailyKos article featuring creepy Rush Revere illustrations

Candy pairing: Kait says Mary Janes, Reid says Flags of Freedom, Renata says Boy Scout popcorn.

Coming up next: The Christmas Shoes by Donna VanLiere

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Under the Radar from Fern Michaels — Episode 06 – Under the Radar Nov 10, 2014
Show notes

Kait, Renata, and their guest, practicing misandrist Naomi, read Under the Radar by Fern Michaels and questioned the motives of the vigilante Sisterhood. You’d think a group of women dedicated to rescuing women from abuse would have sympathy for the forced sister wives of a polygamist cult, but as we discovered–you’d be shockingly incorrect about that. Listen now and help us figure out what all the pumpkins were for!

PS: This episode ran longer than usual because this book has approximately as many characters as Game of Thrones and we needed time to discuss them all. We’re sure you’ll understand.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Fern Michaels’s Sisterhood character descriptions

Candy pairing: Kait says Starburst Fave Reds, Naomi says pumpkin spice M&Ms, Renata says chocolate Viactiv chews.

Coming up next: Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims by Rush Limbaugh.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Scavenger Hunt by Christopher Pike — Episode 05 – Scavenger Hunt Oct 27, 2014
Show notes

In this episode, Kait, Renata, and their guest Lisa struggle to piece together the clues of Christopher Pike’s Scavenger Hunt. As far as we can tell, it’s the story of a bunch of horny high school students on a scavenger hunt with their dead friend (who has been semi-reincarnated into the body of a brain-damaged football player). Did we mention that some of the high schoolers are secretly lizard people? Did we mention that the prize for winning the scavenger hunt is you get to be a human sacrifice for the aforementioned lizard people? Listen now and relive your misspent youth!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Forever Young Adult’s breakdown of Christopher Pike’s most commonly-used tropes

Candy pairing: Kait says candy necklaces, Renata says chocolate covered crickets.

Coming up next: Under the Radar by Fern Michaels.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

bachelor_ver3_xlg — Episode 04.5 – I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends, Part 2 Oct 24, 2014
Show notes

Listeners, will you accept this bonus episode? Margaret of Two Bossy Dames joins Kait, Renata, and returning guest Stacey to explain The Bachelor to us in this follow-up to our episode about I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain by Courtney Robertson. In return, we read her more classy excerpts from Courtney’s book. Listen now to hear us struggle valiantly with names like Adrian Grenier, Arie Luyendyk, and Ben Flapjack. Um, Flajnik.

PS: if any reality television producers are listening, please contact us ASAP about the important new reality shows we’ve pitched in this episode!

Footnotes: Pop Culture Happy Hour #200, featuring Margaret answering questions about I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends.

CNN interview confirming Renata’s pronunciation of Adrian Grenier’s name

Coming up next: Scavenger Hunt by Christopher Pike.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends by Courtney Robertson — Episode 04 – I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends Oct 13, 2014
Show notes

In this shocking rose ceremony–we mean podcast–three people who have never watched The Bachelor staunchly defend the show’s greatest villain! Kait and Renata are joined by Stacey to discuss I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain by Courtney Robertson. We learned more than we ever expected to know about the winner of Season 16 of the Bachelor’s modelling career, wardrobe, and pubic hair. And frankly, we thought it all sounded fairly reasonable.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: The Bachelor ‘Mean Girl’

The Women of the Bachelor Speak Out Against Courtney

Candy pairing: Kait says gummy bears, Renata says cotton candy, Stacey says candy corn.

Coming up next: Scavenger Hunt by Christopher Pike.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne — Episode 03: The Secret Sep 29, 2014
Show notes

For our third episode, Kait and Renata are joined by writer/activist Keane to discuss The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. This best-selling self-help book taught us that the Universe doesn’t understand the word “no.” Seriously, the Universe, no means no. Listen now to learn how to manipulate the Universe to cook a man! Or cook a man’s meal. The choice is yours. This episode was definitely not brought to you by Christian Mingle dot com.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Blank check from the Universe.

Oprah on how The Secret made The Color Purple happen.

Barbara Ehrenreich’s Bright-Sided Explores the Dark Side of Positive Thinking

Candy pairing: Kait says sugary protein bars, Keane says Willy Wonka gum, Renata says a poisoned apple.

Coming up next: I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain by Courtney Robertson

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Theodore Boone, Kid Lawyer — Episode 02 – Theodore Boone: Kid Lawyer Sep 26, 2014
Show notes

In our second episode of Worst Bestsellers, Kait, Renata, and their special guest Angie from Fat Girl Reading read Theodore Boone: Kid Lawyer, John Grisham’s weird attempt to tap the lucrative children’s book market. Listen to us wonder if John Grisham has interacted with anyone under the age of 18 in the last 20 years. For bonus points: count the number of times we call something “gross,” because this book was overall pretty dang gross.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: John Grisham: How Theodore Boone Came Into Being. (Spoiler: to spite J. K. Rowling.)

Candy pairing: Angie says wax lips, Kait says mini Mr. Goodbars, Renata says beer Jelly Bellies.

Coming up next: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer — Episode 01 – Twilight Sep 23, 2014
Show notes

Welcome to the very first episode of Worst Bestsellers! Kait, Renata, and their special guest Caroline from Fantastic Fangirls, talk about Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Listen now to hear about nutritive power of tofu, the untapped potential for a vampire sports network, and Bella Swan’s undiagnosed inner ear condition. Plus: dazzling dramatic readings.

Readers advisory: Here.

Candy pairing: Caroline and Kait say Twilight Conversation Hearts, Renata says Dark Side Skittles.

Coming up next: Theodore Boone: Kid Lawyer by John Grisham.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

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