The Worst Bestsellers

View Top 200 Chart

Back to Rankings Page

Arts
**The Worst Bestsellers**

We read stuff so you don’t have to.

Latest Episodes:

Middle School, The Worst Years of my Life by James Patterson — **Episode 16 – Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life** Mar 02, 2015
Show notes

Kait, Renata, and their guest Abby (The Librarian) read *Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life* by James Patterson and Chris Tebbetts. It’s an unexpectedly dark psychological thriller (of sorts) that made us reflect on our own middle school years and also wonder if James Patterson has ever actually set foot inside a school. Listen now to hear why James Patterson once again failed to win the Newbery Medal!

**Readers advisory**: Here.

**Footnotes:** The Henry Ford of Books

Read, Kiddo, Read

2015 Newbery Medal

**Candy pairing:** Abby says Almond Joys, Kait says Airheads X-Treme, Renata says Starburst jellybeans.

**Coming up next:** *Flowers in the Attic* by V. C. Andrews.

* *Worst Bestsellers* is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

*(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)*

50 Shades of Grey movie — **Episode 15.5 – Fifty Shades of Grey (The Movie)** Feb 23, 2015
Show notes

Renata was snowed in, so she had three lesbians–Kait, returning guest Anna of Bellwether Friends, and internet personality Laura–tell her all about the *Fifty Shades of Grey* movie. They all agreed: it needed more dick. We also addressed various weird plot points of the book that we ran out of time to discuss in the last episode, encouraged people to donate money to whatever charity they want whenever they want, and made controversial comparisons to *Love Actually*. There’s no way you can be as sick of hearing about *Fifty Shades of Grey* as we are of talking about it, so put on your sex jeans and tune in to this bonus episode!

**Footnotes:** American Sniper film ‘behind rise in anti-Muslim threats’

Anti-Sex Worker Activists Are Behind #50DollarsNot50Shades

“A Few Thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey” by Roxane Gay

The Rocky Road to the Making of the *Fifty Shades of Grey* Movie

Love is Respect

Intro to BDSM Safety by Abby Howard (NSFW)

**Coming up next:** *Middle School, The Worst Years of my Life* by James Patterson.

50 Shades of Grey by E. L. James — **Episode 15 – Fifty Shades of Grey** Feb 16, 2015
Show notes

Kait, Renata, and their guest Anna of Bellwether Friends read *Fifty Shades of Grey* by E. L. James! Their inner goddesses are all annoyed at how much they felt compelled to defend this book. Sure, it’s unconventional to have a modern college-aged protagonist who doesn’t own a computer, but once you get over the initial shock, it’s really not as bad as we thought it would be. Plus: our inaugural game of The Rock, Paper, SNIKT! and a dramatic reading of the infamous tampon scene.

**Readers advisory**: Here.

**Footnotes:** Anna’s *Fifty Shades* Readalikes Project

In Defense of *Fifty Shades of Grey* (Sort Of)

Oh Joy, Sex Toy’s *Fifty Shades* Review by Erika Moen (NSFW)

“Does Kinkphobia Color Criticism of Fifty Shades of Grey?” by Catherine Scott

“The Real Fantasy of *Fifty Shades of Grey”* by Alyssa Rosenberg

“The Trouble With Prince Charming or He Who Trespassed Against Us” by Roxane Gay

“Sex, Lies, and *Fifty Shades*” by Leslie Bennetts

**Candy pairing:** Anna says Sugar Daddys, Kait says generic Valentine’s chocolates, Renata says bachelorette party chocolate.

**Coming up next:** *Middle School, The Worst Years of my Life* by James Patterson.

* *Worst Bestsellers* is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

*(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)*

The Shunning by Beverly Lewis — **Episode 14 – The Shunning** Feb 02, 2015
Show notes

Kait, Renata, and their guest Becca put on their forbidden satin gowns and read *The Shunning* by Beverly Lewis. It’s the ferhoodling story of a mildly rebellious Amish girl whose worldly desires eventually lead to her getting shunned by the community. Before they get around to all that, though, they have a lot of quilts to make and desserts to describe. If your religious traditions permit you to listen to podcasts, join us today!

**Readers advisory**: Here.

**Footnotes:** Bonnet Rippers: The Rise of the Amish Romance Novel

Amish Tech

**Candy pairing:** Becca says Ativan, Kait says buttermints, Renata says disappointing apple pie.

**Coming up next:** *Fifty Shades of Grey* by E. L. James.

* *Worst Bestsellers* is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

*(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)*

Need for Speed by Brian Kelleher — **Episode 13 – Need for Speed** Jan 19, 2015
Show notes

Kait, Renata, and their special guests Amanda and Christy read *Need for Speed: The Movie Novelization* by Brian Kelleher, a book based on a movie based on the video game based on the invention of the automobile. We originally read this book hoping that, like some of our favorite movie novelizations of years past, it would solve some of the lingering questions raised by the film, such as “Did that kid have psychic powers or what?” and “Was Aaron Paul’s character driven mad by solitary confinement, or just really bad at revenge?” Instead of answers, we found a confusing blend of *Fast and the Furious* fanfiction and Oz fanfiction, without any glossy photos of Aaron Paul enclosed to soothe our trauma. Listen now to hear four women who don’t know anything about cars lament just how hard it is to make a coherent storyline about street racing!

**Readers advisory**: Here.

**Footnotes:** Need for Speed Book Club on Tumblr

Christy’s amazing excerpts from the *Need for Speed* audiobook

**Candy pairing:** Amanda says Warheads, Christy says Red Bull, Kait says Atomic Fireballs, Renata says banana Runts.

**Coming up next:** *The Shunning* by Beverly Lewis.

* *Worst Bestsellers* is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

*(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)*

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon — **Episode 12 – Outlander** Jan 05, 2015
Show notes

Ring in the new year–1743–with Kait, Renata, and their guest lassie Erica! We read *Outlander* by Diana Gabaldon and we learned so much about British history, medicinal herbs, corporal punishment, witchcraft, animal husbandry, the Loch Ness Monster, and many other sexy topics. Sync your MP3 player to your nearest henge to listen now!

**Content warning**: *Outlander* contains sexual assault and we discuss it in this episode.

**Readers advisory**: Here.

**Footnotes:** Objectified Scotsman Thursday.

Diana Gabaldon Fanlore

Diana Gabaldon on her Doctor Who inspiration

**Candy pairing:** Erica says mixed bags of Halloween candy, Kait says beef jerky (or herbs), Renata says Everlasting Gobstoppers.

**Coming up next:** *Need for Speed: the Movie Novelization* by Brian Kelleher.

* *Worst Bestsellers* is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

*(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)*

Episode 11 – Bests & Worsts of 2014 (Part 2, Adult and Graphic Novels) Jan 04, 2015

Show notes

Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2014 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites and least favorites! Please note: We counted things that we read in 2014, regardless of publication year. We didn’t count anything that we read specifically for this podcast, so our worst books are aside from those. For that reason, we picked top 5 favorites and only 1 least favorite–we have this whole podcast to talk about bad books, so for these episodes we’re choosing to focus on the positive! Some of our “worsts” are really just “least best.” Listen to the podcast to hear more detail! Adult Kait’s Top 5 Best 5.) Dead Mountain: The Untold True Story of the Dyatlov Pass Incident by Donnie Eichar 4.) The Universe Versus Alex Woods by Gavin Extence 3.) Rooms by Lauren Oliver 2.) Yes Please by Amy Poehler 1.) Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay Kait’s Worst Horrorstor by Grady Hendrix Renata’s Top 5 Best 6.) Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg 5.) The Magician’s Land by Lev Grossman 4.) This Changes Everything by Naomi Klein 3.) Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple 2.) Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 1.) Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay Renata’s Worst Raylan by Elmore Leonard Comics/Graphic Novels Kait’s Top 5 Best 5.) Hawkeye: LA Woman by Matt Fraction & Katie Wu 4.) This One Summer by Jillian Tamaki & Mariko Tamaki 3.) Through the Woods by Emily Carroll 2.) The Superior Foes of Spider-Man by Nick Spencer & Steve Lieber 1.) Lumberjanes by Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis, & Brooke Allen An excerpt from Lumberjanes (click to embiggen!): Kait’s Worst Uncanny Avengers by Rick Remender & John Cassaday (See below for an excerpt after Renata’s list!) Renata’s Top 5 Best 5.) She-Hulk by Dan Slott & Juan Bobillo 4.) Seconds by Bryan Lee O’Malley 3.) El Deafo by Cece Bell 2.) Saga by Brian K. Vaughn & Fiona Staples 1.) Captain Marvel by Kelly Sue DeConnick & David Lopez An excerpt from Captain Marvel (click to embiggen!): Renata’s Worst Uncanny Avengers by Rick Remender & John Cassaday A brief (you’re welcome) excerpt (click to embiggen):

Full show notes at the publisher

Episode 10 – Bests & Worsts of 2014 (Part 1, Children’s and YA) Jan 03, 2015

Show notes

Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2014 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites and least favorites! Please note: We counted things that we read in 2014, regardless of publication year. We didn’t count anything that we read specifically for this podcast, so our worst books are aside from those. For that reason, we picked top 5 favorites and only 1 least favorite–we have this whole podcast to talk about bad books, so for these episodes we’re choosing to focus on the positive! Some of our “worsts” are really just “least best.” Listen to the podcast to hear more detail! Children’s/Middle Grade Kait’s Top 5 Best 5.) The Nightmarys by Dan Poblocki 4.) Tanith Low in the Maleficent Seven by Derek Landy 3.) Doll Bones by Holly Black 2.) P. S. Be Eleven by Rita Williams-Garcia 1.) The Riverman by Aaron Starmer Kait’s Worst Another Whole Nother Story by Dr. Cuthbert Soup Renata’s Top 5 Best 5.) Cold Cereal by Adam Rex 4.) Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins 3.) File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents by Lemony Snicket 2.) One Crazy Summer by Rita Williams-Garcia 1.) Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson Renata’s Worst Dangerous by Shannon Hale Young Adult Kait’s Top 5 Best 5.) Adaptation by Malinda Lo 4.) The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black 3.) Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell 2.) The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater 1.) Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz Kait’s Worst The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson Renata’s Top 5 Best 5.) Glory O’Brien’s History of the Future by A. S. King 4.) Wildlife by Fiona Wood 3.) Cress by Marissa Meyer 2.) Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater 1.) Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld Renata’s Worst Let’s Get Lost by Adi Alsaid * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Full show notes at the publisher

The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck — **Episode 09 – The Christmas Sweater** Dec 22, 2014
Show notes

This is it: Kait, Renata, and their guest Caitlin have found the very worst bestseller. It’s *The Christmas Sweater* by Glenn Beck and it is truly terrible on every level. Listen now to hear our spirits get fully crushed by this holiday story of a young boy who loses everything because he selfishly wanted a bicycle for Christmas. Or you could spend an hour appreciating your family, so you won’t be wracked with guilt when they die. The choice is yours!

**Readers advisory**: Here.

**Footnotes:** Little Libertarians on the Prairie

**Candy pairing:** Caitlin says Violets, Kait says Werthers Originals, Renata says no candy, get a job.

**Coming up next:** *Outlander* by Diana Gabaldon.

* *Worst Bestsellers* is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

*(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)*

**Episode 08.5 – The Christmas Shoes (The Movie)** Dec 15, 2014
Show notes

God wanted to make sure you understood the true meaning of Christmas, so he sent you this podcast episode based on the movie, based on the novel, based on the song, *The Christmas Shoes*. In this bonus mini-sode, Kait and Renata confront Renata’s long-time nemesis Rob Lowe and conclude that he’s perfectly suited to play a douchebag lawyer who requires human sacrifices before he changes his behavior. We’re also pleased to see that this 12-year-old movie appears to have taken many of the notes we made about the novel’s shortcomings in last week’s episode. Listen now, before one of your loved ones comes down with a case of Christmas cancer!

**Footnotes**: Renata’s Moth story about her rivalry with Rob Lowe

*The Christmas Shoes* movie on YouTube

**Coming up next:** *The Christmas Sweater* by Glenn Beck.

* *Worst Bestsellers* is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

*(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)*

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected