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    Arts

    The Worst Bestsellers

    We read stuff so you don’t have to.

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    Copyright: Copyright © Worst Bestsellers 2024

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 46 – Killing Lincoln Apr 11, 2016
    Show notes

    Killing Lincoln by Bill O'Reilly & Martin Dugard

    Kait, Renata, and their guest Caitlin read Killing Lincoln by Bill O’Reilly & Martin Dugard. And–because we care about the youth of America–we also read the young readers’ adaptation, Lincoln’s Last Days, by Bill O’Reilly and Dwight Jon Zimmerman. These books put forth the truly shocking thesis that Abraham Lincoln was a good dude and John Wilkes Booth was a bad dude. But also that they were both pretty sexy? And most importantly: USA! USA! USA! Listen now to hear three sockdologizing old mantraps play a rousing game of Fucking, Marrying, Killing and speculate on how history might have turned out differently if only Abraham Lincoln had taken a cat to the theater with him.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Lincoln Home National Historic Site

    Lincoln Homestead State Park

    Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum

    Kait + Creepy John Wilkes Booth (sorry, these are scanned in from Early Internet Days and we don't know where the originals are to re-scan)

    Kait + Creepy John Wax Booth
    (sorry, these are scanned in from Early Internet Days and we don’t know where the originals are to re-scan)

    Renata + Creepy John Wilkes Booth (sorry, these are scanned in from Early Internet Days and we don't know where the originals are to re-scan)

    Renata + Creepy John Wax Booth
    (sorry, these are scanned in from Early Internet Days and we don’t know where the originals are to re-scan)

    Candy pairing: Caitlin says fancy old timey hard candy, Kait says Boy Scout popcorn, Renata says mystery Dum Dums.

    Coming up next: One For the Money by Janet Evanovich.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 45 – Hollow Earth Mar 28, 2016
    Show notes

    Hollow Earth by John & Carole Barrowman

    For part 2 of Nemesis Month, Kait, Renata, and returning guest Naomi read Hollow Earth by Kait’s nemesis John Barrowman (and Carole Barrowman, with whom Kait has no particular beef). It’s a confusing middle grade novel about twins with magic art powers, and the totally not derivative secret society that wants to control those art powers. Or destroy their art powers. Or use their art powers to somehow unleash a bunch of monsters on earth, which for some reason some people would want to do. Or whatever! Listen now to listen to us struggle through good art gone bad.

    Retraction: We mistakenly took the Barrowmans to task for putting a Chicago-based painting into their London-based narrative but it turns out the painting in question is the Bathers at Asnières by Georges Seurat, which is in London’s National Gallery. OUR BAD, BARROWMANS. Good job with your art research.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: John Barrowman & Daniel Boys – I Know Him So Well

    John Barrowman/water hose OTP

    Sorry, Kait.

    Candy pairing: Kait says chocolate coated candy gems, Naomi says saltwater taffy, Renata says sherbet lemons.

    Coming up next: Killing Lincoln by Bill O’Reilly.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 44 – Stories I Only Tell My Friends Mar 14, 2016
    Show notes

    Stories I Only Tell My Friends by Rob Lowe

    Kait, Renata, and Rob Lowe’s Other Nemesis Steve read Stories I Can’t Tell My Friends by Renata’s Nemesis, Rob Lowe. In addition to a lot of grade-A 80s celebrity gossip, we learned a lot about Rob Lowe, such as how important he thinks celebrities are and how Cary Grant once gave him a soap on a rope. Listen now to hear Renata over-explain why Rob Lowe is “a hot Paul Harvey.”

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Renata’s Moth story about Rob Lowe

    Rob Lowe Can’t Read dot com

    Rob Lowe’s George magazine

    The Rest of the Story: Paul Harvey, Conservative Talk Radio Pioneer

    Candy pairing: Kait says weird Lindt truffles, Renata says expensive airport candy, Steve says a Charms Blow Pop.

    Coming up next: Hollow Earth by John & Carole Barrowman.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 43 – Redeeming Love Feb 29, 2016
    Show notes

    Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

    Kait, Renata, and their guests Ally (of Join the Girl Gang) and Katelyn (of Women of Library History) read the classic evangelical Christian romance novel Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It’s AU Bible fanfiction based on the Book of Hosea, a minor prophet’s story of a fallen woman and the man who loved her, and also Israel. Francine Rivers has transformed it into the story of a good Christian cowboy who marries a soiled dove because God told him to (although it took her awhile to get the memo, possibly due to the Lord’s confusing font choices.) In the end, they all live happily ever after, except for the bad prostitutes who died in a fire, and also the podcasters who had to read this.

    Content warning: This book contains child abuse, rape, racism, religious prejudice, and Satan, and so does our discussion of it.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure

    Hugh Jackman’s Australia shower scene

    Candy pairing: Ally says Testamints, Kait says Bible verse chocolates, Katelyn says soiled Dove promises, Renata says milk.

    Coming up next: Stories I Only Tell My Friends by Rob Lowe.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 42 – The Perfect Letter Feb 15, 2016
    Show notes

    The Perfect Letter by Chris Harrison

    Kait, Renata, and their guest Margaret (of Two Bossy Dames and Appointment Television) read The Perfect Letter by Chris Harrison. It’s a somewhat competently written romance novel by the host of The Bachelor (and/or an uncredited, under-appreciated ghostwriter). Sadly for us, it has nothing to do with the seedy world of reality television and is instead set in the wholesome world of publishing/horse farms/petty crime. It’s a book that celebrates the power of the written word while sadly undervaluing the importance of sex paperwork. Happy Day After Valentine’s Day! We hope you enjoy your discounted chocolate and free podcasts!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: DIY Sex Paperwork

    Chris Harrison, the Reigning King of #BachelorNation

    Candy pairing: Kait says chili pepper chocolate, Margaret says a carne asada burrito, Renata says a gummy rattlesnake.

    Coming up next: Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 41 – Gerald’s Game Feb 01, 2016
    Show notes

    Gerald's Game by Stephen King

    Kait, Renata, and their returning guest Nicole (of OWL Reviews) read Gerald’s Game by Stephen King and concluded: there’s a good reason this isn’t one of King’s better-known works. What should have been a compelling psychological horror short story is a gross, bloated novel about the importance of sex paperwork. (Of course, regular listeners of Worst Bestsellers are already aware of the importance of sex paperwork.) Even the fact that the titular Gerald dies in the first chapter wasn’t enough to make this enjoyable to our misandrist sensibilities. Join us for this upsetting journey to Maine!

    Content warning: This book contains sexual assault and child abuse and so does our discussion of it.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Cannes: Stephen King Novel ‘Gerald’s Game’ To Be Adapted By ‘Oculus’ Helmer Mike Flanagan And Intrepid Pictures

    “Degloving” on Wikipedia

    Jessie or Nessie by Stephen King

    The French copy of Gerald’s Game, abandoned at a hostel, which tragically made Renata think this book would be much more exciting than it actually is

    Candy pairing: Kait says baking chocolate, Nicole says gumballs, Renata says peeled grapes at a Halloween party.

    Coming up next: The Perfect Letter by Chris Harrison.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 40 – Twilight Life and Death Jan 18, 2016
    Show notes

    Twilight Life and Death by Stephenie Meyer

    For this special episode, Kait, Renata, and their guests Amy (of Join the Girl Gang and Panels), Caroline (of Fantastic Fangirls and Panels), and Samuel (a dazzling youth) all read Twilight Life and Death, the 10th anniversary, gender-swapped edition of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. We broke down what we liked about the gender swapped version (Julie of the Werewolves) and what we didn’t (Jeremy is a real downgrade from Jessica) and attempted to unpack teenage sexuality in the world of the Twilight saga. Most importantly: Stephenie Meyer played The Rock, Paper, Snikt with us.

    Spoiler warning: In this episode we briefly discussed Star Wars: The Force Awakens, just in case you haven’t seen it yet and are still concerned about spoilers.

    Readers advisory: Twilight

    New Moon

    Footnotes: Twilight vs. Life and Death: A sexy vampire glossary

    Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy review

    Twife or Death

    36 Ways Twilight changes when the genders are reversed

    Twilight Wiki: Sulpicia

    Twilight Wiki: Life and Death to Twilight Book Differences

    Storytellers: New Voices of the Twilight Saga

    Fanfiction 101

    oh my god, I can go on record saying that one difference between old and new twilight is @TheRock oh my god pic.twitter.com/azCqpn5EJL

    — alexis nedd (@alexisthenedd) October 6, 2015

    @alexisthenedd haha I would whistle at her…!!

    — Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) October 6, 2015

    Saw the new Twilight book.. just call me “The Whistler”;) https://t.co/BG6NnWgaMZ

    — Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) October 7, 2015

    Coming up next: Gerald’s Game by Stephen King.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 39 – Bests & Worsts of 2015 (Part 2, Adult and Graphic Novels) Jan 04, 2016
    Show notes

    Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2015 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites and least favorites! Please note:

    • We counted things that we read in 2015, regardless of publication year.
    • We didn’t count anything that we read specifically for this podcast, so our worst books are aside from those.
    • For that reason, we picked top 5 favorites and only 1 least favorite–we have this whole podcast to talk about bad books, so for these episodes we’re choosing to focus on the positive!
    • Some of our “worsts” are really just “least best.” Listen to the podcast to hear more detail!

    Adult

    Kait’s Top 5 Best

    Going Clear by Lawrence WrightThe Martian by Andy WeirWe Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

    Collected Ghost Stories by M. R. JamesAnnihilation by Jeff VanderMeer

    5.) Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, & The Prison of Belief by Lawrence Wright

    4.) The Martian by Andy Weir

    3.) We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

    2.) Collected Ghost Stories by M. R. James

    1.) Annihilation (Southern Reach Trilogy) by Jeff VanderMeer

    Kait’s Worst

    The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

    The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

    Renata’s Top 5 Best

    The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie KondoPioneer Girl: The Annotated Autobiography by Laura Ingalls Wilder & Pamela Smith HillBetween the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

    The Unspeakable by Meghan DaumLafayette In the Somewhat United States by Sarah Vowell

    5.) The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

    4.) Pioneer Girl: The Annotated Autobiography by Laura Ingalls Wilder & Pamela Smith Hill

    3.) Between The World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

    2.) The Unspeakable: And Other Topics of Conversation by Meghan Daum

    1.) Lafayette in the Somewhat United States by Sarah Vowell

    Renata’s Worst

    I'm Not a Terrorist But I've Played One on TV by Maz Jobrani

    I’m Not a Terrorist But I’ve Played One on TV by Maz Jobrani

    Graphic Novels

    Kait’s Top 5 Best

    Kaptara by Chip Zdarsky & Kagan McLeodThe Wicked + The Divine by Kieron Gillen & Jamie McKelvieWytches by Scott Snyder & Jock

    The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl by Ryan North & Erica HendersonBitch Planet by Kelly Sue DeConnick & Valentine DeLandro

    5.) Kaptara by Chip Zdarsky & Kagan McLeod

    4.) The Wicked + The Divine by Kieron Gillen & Jamie McKelvie

    3.) Wytches by Scott Snyder & Jock

    2.) The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl by Ryan North & Erica Henderson

    1.) Bitch Planet by Kelly Sue DeConnick & Valentine DeLandro

    An excerpt from Bitch Planet (click to embiggen):

    Bitch Planet 1Bitch Planet 2Bitch Planet 3

    Kait’s Worst

    Locke & Key by Joe Hill & Gabriel Rodriguez

    Locke & Key by Joe Hill & Gabriel Rodriguez

    An excerpt from Locke & Key (click to embiggen):

    Locke & Key 1Locke & Key 2Locke & Key 3

    Renata’s Top 5 Best

    All New X-Factor by Peter David & Giuseppe Camuncoli Roller GIrl by Victoria JamiesonSandman: Overture by Neil Gaiman & J. H. Williams III

    Ms. Marvel by G. Willow Wilson & Adrian AlphonaThe Unbeatable Squirrel Girl by Ryan North & Erica Henderson

    5.) All-New X-Factor by Peter David & Giuseppe Camuncoli

    4.) Roller Girl by Victoria Jamieson

    3.) The Sandman: Overture by Neil Gaiman & J. H. Williams III

    2.) Ms. Marvel by G. Willow Wilson & Adrian Alphona

    1.) The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl by Ryan North & Erica Henderson

    An excerpt from The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (click to embiggen):

    The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl 1The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl 2The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl 3

    Renata’s Worst

    Arrow by Marc Guggenheim et al

    Arrow by Marc Guggenheim, Andrew Kreisberg, & Mike Grell

    An excerpt from Arrow (click to embiggen):

    Arrow

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 38 – Hamilton Dec 28, 2015
    Show notes

    Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow

    As you might have noticed, Kait, Renata, and their special guest, Bossy Dame Sophie, read Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow and have been listening to the Broadway cast recording of Hamilton the musical non-stop. We want you, too, to be in the room where it happens, so we recorded this special Best Bestseller bonus episode to discuss our love of Hamilton and do some readers advisory for both the biography and the musical. We also played some Founding Father FMK. We hope you’ll be satisfied with the scope of our minds at work on all counts! You don’t have to wait for it–if you’re able to take a break this holiday season, add some more items to your overflowing TBR list!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: @Lin-Manuel on Twitter

    #HamBio on Twitter

    Lin-Manuel Miranda Discusses How Hip-Hop Influenced Him and Hamilton

    All the Hip-Hop References in Hamilton: A Track-by-Track Guide

    How Lin-Manuel Miranda Shapes History

    Playlist: The Sounds That Shaped Hamilton

    Sophie’s HamilFeels Spotify Playlist

    Read Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Genius Annotations for Hamilton

    Lin-Manuel Miranda on Jay Z, The West Wing, and 18 More Things That Influenced Hamilton

    A Very Hammy Holiday (The Hamilton Gift Guide)

    Interactive Constitution

    Fanfiction 101

    Oh this is good. https://t.co/vSeSpcqzIY

    — Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) December 30, 2015

    Coming up next: Bests & Worsts of 2015 (Part 2, Adults and Graphic Novels)

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 37 – Bests & Worsts of 2015 (Part 1, Children’s & YA) Dec 21, 2015
    Show notes

    Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2015 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites and least favorites! Please note:

    • We counted things that we read in 2015, regardless of publication year.
    • We didn’t count anything that we read specifically for this podcast, so our worst books are aside from those.
    • For that reason, we picked top 5 favorites and only 1 least favorite–we have this whole podcast to talk about bad books, so for these episodes we’re choosing to focus on the positive!
    • Some of our “worsts” are really just “least best.” Listen to the podcast to hear more detail!

    Children’s/Middle Grade

    Kait’s Top 5 Best

    Long Lankin by Lindsey BarracloughThe Night Gardener by Jonathan AuxierThe Cabinet of Curiosities by Stefan Bachmann et al

    The Crossover by Kwame AlexanderIron Hearted Violet by Kelly Barnhill

    5.) Long Lankin by Lindsey Barraclough

    4.) The Night Gardener by Jonathan Auxier

    3.) The Cabinet of Curiosities: 36 Tales Brief & Sinister by Stefan Bachmann, Katherine Catmull, Claire Legrand & Emma Trevayne

    2.) The Crossover by Kwame Alexander

    1.) Iron Hearted Violet by Kelly Barnhill

    Kait’s Worst

    The Crossroads by Chris Grabenstein

    The Crossroads by Chris Grabenstein

    Renata’s Top 5 Best

    Gone Crazy in Alabama by Rita Williams-GarciaAbsolutely Almost by Lisa GraffThe War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

    The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali BenjaminThe Crossover by Kwame Alexander

    5.) Gone Crazy in Alabama by Rita Williams-Garcia

    4.) Absolutely Almost by Lisa Graff

    3.) The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

    2.) The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali Benjamin

    1.) The Crossover by Kwame Alexander

    Renata’s Worst

    Nightingale's Nest by Nikki Lofton

    Nightingale’s Nest by Nikki Loftin

    Young Adult

    Kait’s Top 5 Best

    Proxy by Alex LondonMore Happy Than Not by Adam SilveraPlease Ignore Vera Dietz by A. S. King

    Paper Valentine by Brenna YovanoffSimon Vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

    5.) Proxy by Alex London

    4.) More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera

    3.) Please Ignore Vera Dietz by A. S. King

    2.) Paper Valentine by Brenna Yovanoff

    1.) Simon Vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

    Kait’s Worst

    Panic by Lauren Oliver

    Panic by Lauren Oliver

    Renata’s Top 5 Best

    The Carnival at Bray by Jessie Ann FoleyGabi, A Girl in Pieces by Isabel QuinteroWinter by Marissa Meyer

    Dumplin by Julie MurphyCarry On by Rainbow Rowell

    5.) The Carnival at Bray by Jessie Ann Foley

    4.) Gabi, A Girl in Pieces by Isabel Quintero

    3.) Winter by Marissa Meyer

    2.) Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy

    1.) Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

    Renata’s Worst

    Alice in Zombieland by Gena Showalter

    Alice in Zombieland by Gena Showalter

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


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