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171 Sarah's HBAC + Little C Antibodies Apr 07, 2021

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Have YOU heard of little c antibodies? Sarah gives us information and inspiration as she shares her story with this rare condition. She fought for the redemptive home birth of her dreams while caring for herself and taking the highest precautions for her baby. Sarah built the supportive birth team she didn’t have the first time around and made birthing choices that helped her feel the most in control. Her HBAC with a nuchal hand was a whirlwind and a story we know you’ll love!Additional linksThe VBAC Link on InstagramHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsMamasteFit Childbirth EducationFull transcriptNote: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar, false starts, and filler words. Julie: Welcome to The VBAC Link podcast. This is Julie and Meagan here with you today and we are really excited about our guest today. I was just reading her bio, and then I was reading a little bit about her and her births, and then I had this “Aha!” moment. I am like, “Wait a minute. Are you the one that we were talking to before you had your baby?” And she was like, “Yes, I was.”And so, we have this really fun story, kind of a little established relationship I guess, before the birth and after the birth. It is always fun to be able to talk to people that have reached out to us before they have their baby and then hear from them after they have their baby. I am so excited to hear the full story.But before I tell you what made her story stand out to me, I’m going to read a little bit of her bio that I thought was really cute. If you can hear my three-year-old in the background, she escaped from quarantine upstairs. My husband will come down soon and rescue me from her.But Sarah‘s bio is really, really cute. She said she is a working mom of two tiny humans and two not-so-tiny cats. She has a quirky sense of humor and an affinity for superhero movies. That’s where I was like, “Okay.” We have got to talk about this because superhero movies-- I really love superhero movies now, but before I got married, I didn’t even know the difference between Batman and Superman. Now I know and I have a very strong opinion about Batman. We won’t go into that though. But I married a geek and he is all about the superheroes, and the comic books, and everything. And so, I’ve come to really love the superhero movies and all of those things. It’s a sentimental part of my life. So that made me really happy. She’s part of the American Sign Language community. Her oldest is hard of hearing, so everybody in her family is learning American Sign Language. That is really neat. When I was younger, I was obsessed with sign language. I went to a class and I had a book I was learning and teaching my brother and sister how to do all the signs and stuff like that, but I haven’t done any of that for-- oh my gosh, it has been way more than 20 years which really makes me feel old to say that. But anyway, the part of her story that-- actually, before we do that, should we do a Review of the Week, Meagan?Review of the WeekMeagan: Sure. Sure.Julie: Yeah. Let’s do a Review of the Week and then we will talk about the part of her story that made me excited. Yeah, go ahead.Meagan: OK. This is from Jacqueline Lee and she was on Instagram. She said, “Just found you and will be keeping you. Hoping to VBAC with our second babe whenever they come along. I would love to share my stories when that time comes. I have been listening to your podcast and love how informative and diverse they are. Our first was born in Paraguay when we were teaching. She was breech and so I had a C-section. Hoping for a vertex baby to be able to have a VBAC, but I did labor with our first until an 8. It was a wild story full of funny cultural differences and language barriers.”I love that. I remember when she wrote us that we were like, “Oh, you’re so sweet. Can we put you on our review?” And she was like, “Yes, please do.” We are so excited that she was able to share her review and we hope that when the time comes, she will be able to rock her VBAC and have an amazing story and then hopefully, one day, be on the podcast as well.Julie: That’s awesome. I am excited. It just makes me happy when people come full circle and share they were listening to the podcast and then share their stories on the podcast. That is fun because we have been doing this VBAC Link thing for-- oh my gosh, it will be three years in May. It’s really fun because when we first started out, I was literally stalking hashtags on Instagram to find people who had a VBAC to share their stories on the podcast. Now we have way more submissions than we can even record. And to have people who started out with us before they even got pregnant and listening to the podcast, and taking our courses, and sharing their story, it all is just really exciting to me.Sarah’s storyJulie: All right. Let me tell you. This is the thing that you have all been waiting for. I know you have been holding your breath for the last few minutes just waiting to see what could possibly get me so excited about her story. And it’s little c antibodies. If you don’t know what that means, you are not the only one because Sarah reached out to us on Instagram Messenger, I think it was, asking if we had heard of any VBAC stories or VBAC information about how to VBAC with little c antibodies and Maegan and I were like, “What are little c antibodies?”Meagan: Yeah. I remember because I thought, “Isn’t there a big C?”Julie: Yeah. Big C and little c. Meagan: But I’ve only heard of big.Julie: And we are like, “Is that a capital? Is that like a capitalized? What is a big C? What is a little c?” So we dug in and we found some research on it. It’s really an interesting thing because it’s not something that you hear about very often, but we are going to learn a lot about it in this episode. And before I go any more into telling how excited I am to hear the story, we should probably actually hear the story. So Sarah, why don’t you go ahead and share your stories with us?Sarah: Hello. Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. So obviously, being a VBAC mom, I had a first child that was born via Cesarean. She was supposed to be a birth center baby and I was just having all kinds of trouble with back labor and not being able to cope with everything. I don’t think I did as well preparing for her birth and it was a lot. I felt very overwhelmed and I think my husband was doing the best he could, but looking back, I keep saying, I really wish I would’ve had some doula support there. I think that’s one of my biggest regrets. I actually ended up transferring to the birth center about halfway through my pregnancy because I knew I wanted something that was a little bit less hospital-y. Hospitals make me nervous and it’s just kind of how I am. Unfortunately, I did make that call. I think it was one of those 2:00 a.m., overwhelmed, not dilating any, and then going to the hospital. It was a lot.So I labored pretty much all day. I got an epidural and then I didn’t have a very great supportive doctor. He just came in and he was like, “Oh, this is what we are going to do” and “Oh, I broke your water by the way. It already happened.” So just not a lot of consent. Things like that that I know now that I want and need as a mom, and as a mom in labor for sure. Once it came down to it, I think I pushed for about three hours and the doctor was like, “Well, baby is stuck. We are going to do a C-section now.” I didn’t get a whole lot of information about what that meant or what that would mean for me moving forward. It was just kind of happening in that moment.I even remember the anesthesiologist. God bless her. She was amazing. She was the only person that was walking me through what was going on, helping me stay calm, and she goes, “Well, the doc is going to put some pressure to make sure you are numb.” And the doc goes, “Oh, I’ve already started cutting.” So like I said, I just didn’t have a really great experience with my first being born. And then on top of that coming home, I didn’t know how to care for myself postpartum. We had a lot of family stuff going on so I didn’t have any family support, and then I ended up developing both postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression that went undiagnosed for probably about three months before I realized that I needed to start reaching out and getting help.As a result of that, I started looking around-- so that was about five years ago. I started looking around to the birth community as a whole to see what information was out there. I found out what a VBAC was and that’s how I found you guys. It was just in the process of finding out what my resources were. Moving forward to the start of the pandemic last year. I found out I was pregnant and then a few days after that, my work went to remote, so I was working from home in my first trimester with a four-year-old. It was nonsense. It was about as fun as it sounds. I always say, “I love my kid and I love my job, but I do not like it when they go together.”So I knew I wanted to find a different kind of provider. I started looking around in my area and I found a midwife that would support a home birth. One of my first questions to her was, “Do you support VBACs?” She said, “Absolutely.” And she said it just like that. “Absolutely.” We had a wonderful conversation just talking me through how many VBACs she has been a part of through the years. A lot of my first visits were on the phone and everything was weird and everybody was working remote. I told her I was concerned because I had a couple of miscarriages and she was like, “No problem. We can be proactive and let’s monitor your blood levels.” During one of those first rounds of bloodwork, we found out about the little c antibodies. I almost immediately called her and I am like, “What is this? Does this mean I can’t have my home birth? Am I going to have to go back to the hospital?” Honestly, I was kind of freaking out and she said, “Listen. Let me do some homework and we are going to see what that means.”She decided that we wanted to make sure we were checking on this very well. So I drove-- I am down in Fort Myers. I drove up to Tampa General and that is about a 3-3.5 hour drive and I talked to a specialist. So she is a geneticist. I don’t know. She does stuff with blood work. So I sat down with this lady and she is going through it. The best way that I can describe what she was trying to tell me is, “Your blood cells have different facets on them kind of like a diamond. It’s similar to the Rh. Normally when we hear about blood stuff and a pregnant mama, it is that Rh factor. So that, we have heard of. That is fine, but this is a different part of that same cell, but a different facet.”It was very confusing to be quite honest. But she explained that when they test my blood, they are looking for those antibodies because my husband has an antigen. So he has got something on one of his blood cells that my blood cells don’t like and as a result, my body creates these antibodies to try to attack it and the really crazy thing is it’s almost exclusive to VBAC moms or second-time moms, but more commonly VBAC moms because when they were doing the incision, some of baby’s blood, some of my blood may have crossed over and that would cause my body to start reacting even way back five years ago when my first daughter was born. It was crazy. Just the thought that that’s been in my body this whole time and I didn’t know about it. So that was kind of cool but kind of scary.She said that the levels that they found were very low. And it’s just-- you know, “you have got a very low level of this kind of antibody that is freaking out on your baby, so we are going to keep an eye on it and as your pregnancy progresses, if it starts to rise, if that level starts to get more concentrated in your blood, then we are going to have to have a deeper discussion about getting baby out sooner and maybe not going to full-term. Are we going to have to have baby before 40 weeks? I don’t know. We will keep an eye on it.” That sort of thing.So every time I went to a visit with my midwife, we had to do a blood draw. It was annoying, but ultimately, throughout my entire pregnancy, that level never changed for me. So thankfully it wasn’t anything that I had to really do anything about, but it was always that little worry in the back of my mind. It was just frustrating because I had such an uneventful pregnancy before and I just wanted that again especially in the middle of a pandemic. Everything is freaking out in the world, why can’t I just have an easy pregnancy? Then, we go in for the midway through ultrasound. I went back up to Tampa General. My wife here recommended it because she always says, “If there’s anything to find, they’re really good. They are going to be the ones to catch it.” Tampa General is one of the best hospitals in the state and their maternal-fetal medicine is top-notch, so I felt good about going up there. I’ve got family up there anyway, so we just made a visit out of it. While we were there for the ultrasound, obviously, I have to go in by myself because COVID. And so, my poor husband is out in the parking lot with the one bar of Wi-Fi signal trying to do a Zoom meeting with me to be able to see or hear anything. He’s got a few minutes to see or talk to me and then they had a rule about how we can’t record and we can’t have the phone or a video through the whole visit. It was kind of crazy.So for the most part, I am in there by myself. I am trying to communicate with my husband on a weird connection and it was frustrating. But anyway, so during the first 20-week ultrasound, they go, “Well, we are looking and we are not seeing that other kidney on baby,” and I go, “Okay.” The doctor was very reassuring and he said, “Well, it could be in a weird spot. It could be that we are just not seeing it because baby is in a weird position, so we are going to have you come back in a month.” I was, again, just frustrated because we are in this crazy thing and just-- really? Why me? Why my baby? Why all the stuff? So we made plans to come back in a month. But I definitely know at that point I needed two things. Number one, I needed to check in with my mental health counselor. She specializes in mom stuff, birth-related things, mom-related things. She is awesome. And so, I was able to talk to her and talk through some of the things that were going on. And then number two, I knew that I needed a doula. Why on earth I waited so long, I have no idea, but I did find my doula around the 20-week mark. She was able to start checking in with me every week because I knew that if I was going into a birth that potentially had any kind of complications, I needed all the support that I could get. I followed up with them as much as I could as much as I needed to and tried to identify in myself if I felt like I was stressing out too much or if I was letting things overtake my mind too much just to know to check in with my doula, check in with my counselor, and I think that made a big difference trying to manage things throughout pregnancy. We even got a plan in place so if we did have to transfer to a hospital, having a backpack that I could keep in my closet. We talked about, “If it is in your closet, you don’t even have to look at it, but that piece in the back of your mind that knows it is there will feel good about that and you won’t be so stressed.” I am very glad that I did that. It really helped and I was able to have that calm reassurance. So as I am going through, I get to the end of pregnancy. We are still monitoring this little c blood thing, and we still can’t find a kidney on baby, and on top of that, now I am measuring ahead. At 36 weeks, I was measuring around 42 or 43 weeks, so I went on a low-carb, low-sugar diet. It may have been before 36 weeks. It felt like a lifetime of no sugar and no carbs. When you’re pregnant, all you want is pizza and you can’t have it an…

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170 Jess's HBAC + VBAC Prep and Planning Mar 31, 2021

Show notes

“It’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.”Due to her bicornuate uterus, Jess was told that she could only ever have Cesarean births. When her first birth experience involved a rough surgery and brutal recovery, Jess was tempted to wonder if she even wanted to get pregnant again in the future. Then, she made a choice. Jess decided to trust in her intuition, in a supportive birth team, and in the natural process of birth. She chose to believe in her body and chose to take a risk. Jess’ VBAC story is fast, furious, and magical. She found the mental strength to fully commit and the physical strength to achieve the unmedicated VBAC she was told she’d never have. Jess is truly a woman of strength and so are you. Additional linksThe VBAC Link Facebook CommunityHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsJessandBabe YouTube ChannelFull transcriptNote: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar and to eliminate false starts and filler words. Julie: Welcome, welcome. This is The VBAC Link podcast and we are really excited to be here with you today. I feel like it’s been a while since we have been recording. I guess it hasn’t really been that long, but it just feels like a long time since we have been talking to people. We have a really fun guest with us today. Her name is Jess. She is a full-time mom. She has two girls and she has a bicornuate-- however you say it-- uterus where it’s a heart-shape, right?Jess: Mhmm, yep.Julie: That can sometimes cause problems conceiving. It can cause problems with baby’s positioning. She has a really, really cool story about her VBAC with a heart-shaped uterus. I am just not going to try and pronounce it anymore. But I am really excited to talk with Jess today because we actually had her scheduled to record a couple of weeks ago, but they had an ice storm. She lives in Oregon and they had an ice storm in Oregon that shut down power and internet for days. At that time, we hadn’t had any more recording sessions planned, but then all of a sudden we decided to open this huge day. We are recording a ton of podcasts today and Jess, you are our very first one. We are so excited that you are not iced in anymore--Jess: Me too.Julie: -- and that your power is back on and you can share your story with us. But before we do that, as always, we have a Review of the Week and Meagan is going to read that for us.Review of the WeekMeagan: Thank you. Okay. So this is a review that is actually from a listener from Ireland which is super awesome. The title is, “So informative.” It says, “Hoping to have a VBAC in July. Listening to all the podcast episodes in preparation for my VBAC. Really positive and informative. I feel the more stories I hear, the more prepared I am for every eventuality. Fingers crossed. Thank you, Julie and Meagan.”And that was in May of last year, so I am assuming she has had her baby by now. So, “duffipe”Julie: Duffy-pee, duffy-pay, duh-fee-pay?Meagan: I don’t know, yeah.Jess: I like duh-fee-pay.Meagan: Yes. If you are still listening, we would love you to message us and let us know how things are going and how things went.Julie: I feel like if people tell us in their review that they are pregnant, they need to put their name so we can go and stalk them in our Facebook community because I just don’t like not having closure for these types of things. I can’t handle it.Meagan: Yeah. I know, right? I know. Okay well, I’m going to turn the time back over to you, Julie, so we can hear this awesome story from Jess.Jess’s storyJulie: Awesome story. Okay. Jess, Jess, Jess. I am so excited. Let me just tell you guys a little bit about Jess. She came on here and she was so happy and so smiley, and her voice is just-- as soon as she started talking, I started smiling. I don’t think I’m going to stop smiling this whole entire episode. I think my cheeks will hurt by the end. She just is so fun and so cute. She is going to tell her stories about her Cesarean and then her magical, unmedicated VBAC. So Jess, without further ado, I’m just going to go ahead and turn it over to you.Jess: Okay. So my first pregnancy, I actually had a really smooth pregnancy. Very uneventful. The only thing was that after one of my earlier ultrasounds, we had found out that I had a bicornuate uterus. The midwife that I was seeing at the time, her main concern was me either not being able to carry to term and that there was always a chance that I could miscarry. Obviously, it freaked me out the beginning, but honestly, after taking some time to think about it, I just knew deep down that I was meant to have a baby and that everything was going to be okay.The midwife that I started off with only saw women up until we were about 20 weeks and then we automatically got transferred over to a different practice that was with a group of midwives. I think there were probably about five or six midwives that were working there at the time and whenever I transferred over there, they didn’t really seem that concerned about me having a bicornuate uterus. They said that there wasn’t any reason why I shouldn’t be able to deliver vaginally. We will just keep an eye on it and everything should be okay. So I took their word for it and I didn’t think anything of it. Throughout my entire pregnancy, I had this really hard bulge up on the right-hand side of my ribcage. Every time that I went in, we would see a different midwife. It was very rare that we would see the same one back-to-back, so every midwife that we saw would check the baby’s position manually. Every single one told me that baby felt head down and that everything was great, and I had nothing to worry about. Again, I didn’t have any reason to disagree with them. You know, first-time mom, I didn’t know. I didn’t know what it felt like at all. So we got up to our 38-week appointment and my husband had come with me that day. We were curious about belly mapping. We were chatting with the midwife about belly mapping and wanted to know how to do it and all that stuff because we were super interested in it. And so, the midwife checked my belly again. She feels that hard spot that has been there the entire time and she goes, “You know, I’m pretty sure that that is the baby’s bum, but it’s a really slow day today in the office. We have a portable ultrasound machine. Let me go and grab that real quick. We will take a look and see where baby is hanging out.”Gabe and I were obviously super excited because we hadn’t been able to see her since our anatomy scan. And so, she came in, and as soon as she put that doppler on the hard spot on my stomach, you could see on the screen the outline of a perfectly round head. Right whenever she saw that, the mood in the room definitely took a shift. Things got very serious very quickly and she was like, “Oh, okay. So that is definitely the baby’s head.” Immediately she was like, “Okay. We are going to send you in for an official ultrasound tomorrow to get it confirmed. If it is, then you’re going to have a scheduled C-section next week.”Honestly, as a first-time mom hearing that I was going to be having a C-section, I do have to say that in a way I did feel a little bit of relief at the time because I, you know, first-time mom, I didn’t know how to deliver vaginally. You can take all the birthing classes you want and I personally still didn’t feel prepared. And so, just knowing that a C-section I would know exactly the time, day, when, and how-- all of that stuff was going to be covered. That, in a way, brought a sense of relief. But anyway, we went in. We got the ultrasound. I don’t know if there is a specific name, but she was definitely breech. She was on the right-hand side of my uterus since I have the septum going down the middle. Her feet-- she was completely bent in half, basically. Her feet were all the way up to her back behind her head. So she had no room at all. There always was the option of having an inversion, but because I had a bicornuate uterus, they weren’t willing to even attempt it because they said that it would put too much stress on me and the baby. Obviously, I didn’t want to do anything that would put either of us at risk, so we ended up having a C-section the following week.The C-section itself was not the smoothest. It was actually a very rough procedure. I got a spinal block and I had to end up getting two because the first one didn’t work. The babe was actually stuck up at my ribcage, so my incision ended up having to be twice as long, so that way the surgeon could reach his hand up there to wiggle his finger into baby’s mouth to pull her head down a certain way in order to get her to be delivered.So because of that, she came out with a bruised tongue, really tight TMJ muscles and she was not breathing whenever she came out. Immediately, she was taken over to the warming cart. Nobody was talking. It was pure silence. There were probably about five or six nurses that were over there trying to get her going and at that point, I didn’t feel very good. I was, obviously, still laying flat on my back and I just wasn’t feeling very well. I didn’t trust myself to have her on my chest and to do the immediate skin-to-skin because I didn’t want to drop her, so she actually got to have the first skin-to-skin moment with Gabe. I am very grateful and very glad that they were able to have that special moment, but I do think that looking back, that is one of my biggest regrets is not doing the immediate skin-to-skin because the connection just wasn’t there. The connection wasn’t as immediate as I thought it would be. I wasn’t able to hold her until we got back into our room, which, I don’t know how long it was-- maybe a half an hour or so after she was born. It just lead to a whole bunch of other tough stuff. I had a really tough recovery. We had a horrible time breastfeeding. I had a really hard time with the connection and a couple of times in specific while we were there. This all happened while I was still numb from the surgery. I hadn’t even gotten up and taken my first steps yet, but I had the surgeon and a couple of other doctors come in and tell me that I am always going to be a C-section mom. There is no other way around it. One of the baby’s pediatricians came in and told me that if I ever wanted to have kids again, I would have to have surgery to have the septum removed from my bicornuate uterus, or else I would miscarry.Meagan: Whoa. That’s heavy.Jess: Yeah. So, yeah. That definitely left a sour taste in my mouth. In the end, I ended up struggling really hard with some pretty severe postpartum anxiety, and depression, and mom rage, and all that stuff. But, yeah. That’s basically how the first baby got here. So then moving onto my second one, by the time that I had gotten done with my recovery with the first baby, I still had the thoughts in the back of my head of always being a C-section mom and remembering how hard both mentally and physically the recovery was. There honestly was a really short time where I didn’t know if I wanted to have more kids because I just didn’t think that I could go through that recovery again.And so, I ended up getting pregnant with my second shortly after my first’s first birthday. I didn’t decide that I wanted to shoot for a VBAC until I was about 20-some weeks of my pregnancy. The practice that I delivered with, the midwife clinic, they were all very VBAC-friendly. They were the ones that kept bringing it up and saying, “Hey, do you want to try and have a VBAC? You’re a really good candidate. I think you would have a success,” and all of that. I was the one that was on the fence because I had it in the back of my mind that I couldn’t deliver vaginally because of my uterus, and just that my body was broken and that I wasn’t able to do this vaginally.So one of the main driving factors for me wanting to try and have a VBAC was because I remembered how difficult the recovery was and I just kept thinking to myself, if I had that hard of a recovery with just a baby, I couldn’t even imagine having to do it again with a newborn and a not even two-year-old at home. That was the main reason why I wanted to try and have a VBAC. Once I made the decision to have the VBAC, I dove in headfirst and did absolutely everything under the sun that I could to prepare. First and foremost, I found this amazing podcast, The VBAC Link, and I took your Parent’s Prep VBAC Course which I cannot recommend enough.Julie: Holla. Shoutout to the course.Jess: Yeah. If I had to recommend anything to anyone that wanted to try and have a VBAC, it would definitely be to listen to this podcast and take the class because like I said, I am the type of person where the more prepared and everything that I can be, the better for me. Literally, everything that I needed to know about how to have a VBAC, and all the medical terminology, and the statistics, and all that stuff was literally in that book. All the questions that I ever had were answered. So I did that. I started doing the Spinning Babies® daily essential stretches video every day. I was going on walks. I decided to do HypnoBirthing as my form of, I don’t know what you call it, but the way to cope through the contractions I guess I should say. Because one of the things that I had learned in your class was to go as long as I could without having any sort of medical intervention, that being an epidural.So those are all of the things that I did. There actually was one short moment whenever I thought that the baby was going to be head up again. I went in and I requested a couple of ultrasounds because I had to actually tell them, “This is what happened to me last time. I do not want it to happen again and I need to have some ultrasounds so that where we can clearly confirm that baby is in the right position.”Baby thankfully was in the right position. There was one midwife there that I really enjoyed. And she-- I don’t even know what it was called, but if I had to describe it, it was the perfect line between chiropractic care and prenatal massage where she would go through from head to toe and she would feel all up and down my body, baby included, to feel any points of tension in my body, and then she would hold just the slightest bit of pressure until the tension naturally released. I just knew that was another thing that was going to help my VBAC success because my body was in alignment, which meant that the baby was going to have an easier time getting into the proper position.As I got further along in my pregnancy, at the time were they start doing the checks to see how far you are dilated, I chose not to get checked very often. I think I only ended up getting checked twice throughout my entire pregnancy and it wasn’t because they wanted me to get checked, it was just out of pure curiosity. I wanted to see what was going on and if my body was doing anything yet. The first time that I got checked, I can’t even remember how far along I was in my pregnancy at this point, but I was already dilated to a 1. Now, I was super excited to be dilated to a 1 because with my first baby, I remember as part of the pre-op stuff, I had to get checked. I was 38.5 weeks and I was all zeros across-the-board. So the fact that I was already at 1, I thought that was a huge accomplishment for me because I knew that my body was actually doing what it was literally made to do.The midwife that I was seeing that day in particular, I didn’t exactly vibe with that much. She was nice, but she wasn’t my favorite and she didn’t seem to think that being dilated to a 1 was good enough. She thought that at this point, that my body should have been progressed more and that’s when she had started pushing more of doing all the things like the evening primrose oil, eating the dates, doing all the things to your body to get it ready for birth before your body is actually ready. And then, she just really got into my head. She started saying how if I didn’t do this stuff that they d…

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169 All About the Cervix with Julie and Meagan Mar 24, 2021

Show notes

Come listen, learn, and laugh with Meagan and Julie today in our ode to the cervix. We discuss the role of the cervix in birth, cervical checks, cervical changes, and how to navigate policies to make choices that are best for YOU. The cervix is an amazing, powerful muscle that we love talking about!Additional linksHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsAdvanced VBAC Doula Certification ProgramEmpowering Gynecologic Exams: Speculum Care Without StirrupsLenihan et al. (1984). ” Relationship of antepartum pelvic examinations to premature rupture of the membranes.” Obstetrics & Gynecology 63: 33-37Full transcriptNote: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar and to eliminate false starts and filler words. Meagan: Hey hey, this is Meagan and Julie. Today we have an episode with us. We don’t have a VBAC story today, but that’s okay. We are excited to be sharing an episode with us because we haven’t done one for a while and so we were like, “Oh, let’s get on and talk about the cervix.”This is something that obviously, the cervix has a big role in our deliveries, and so we want to talk about what it means, what it looks like, what it means if we are not dilating or if we are dilating, what it means to be checked during labor or before labor even begins, and all of the crazy things that we hear about these amazing cervixes of ours. Julie has a Review of the Week, and so we are going to turn the time over to her to read that, and then we will dive right in.Review of the WeekJulie: Yes, yes. So excited to do a whole episode all about the amazing cervix. I’m going to read a review that was just left a couple of weeks ago. Get a fresh new one in here. This is from Karen. Karen says, “Thank you,” is the title. Actually, this was an email. Oh my gosh! It’s not even a podcast review. I just read that it is an email that she sent us. So, Karen, we are going to read your email. This is really fun. Okay, so she says, “I have written this email in my head so many times in the past year. It has been a bit over a year since my little girl was born and I am still thinking about how helpful your podcast was. She was my eighth baby and was born by VBAC after two Cesareans. While I was blessed to have a very supportive doctor and birth team, something that would be more common in Canada where we are not dealing with insurance companies calling the shots--”That’s something to think about later when my mind will go off on a tangent.“I still feel like your podcast helped me to be informed about the benefits and risks of VBAC after two C-sections and empowered me to take an active role in the decision-making before and during labor and birth. I was induced and able to recognize and slow down the cascade of interventions that hospital staff assumed was going to happen. It helps to know my options for induction, a catheter, a Cook’s catheter instead of a Foley. Two balloons, so double the pressure—“Double the pressure, double the fun. That’s what just came to my mind. So, oh my gosh. Let me get back on track.“And after a while, a very slow and low Pitocin drip was the way we went. In the end, after a very calm labor with as little interference as possible, my sweet little daughter was born and I enjoyed the peaceful natural labor and birth, plus the easy recovery that I had been so hoping and praying for. My OB was so excited too. Thanks again for this wonderful work that you’re doing.”And thank you, Karen. That just touches our hearts and makes us so happy when we get reviews on our podcast, when we get emails, Instagram messages, Facebook messages. I am pretty sure we are really good at responding to all of them still. It might just take us a few days. So if you ever feel so inclined, we would love for you to reach out and tell us how we are helping you or things that we could do better to better help you and better serve you. That’s the whole reason why we created The VBAC Link-- to serve and help parents and birth workers just like you listening right now.Meagan: Yes.Julie: Yes. Another thing I wanted to talk about before we get into the magical cervix is our podcast sponsors. We have started implementing ads and sponsorships into our podcast and we have been really particular about who we invite into our space so that we make sure the sponsors that we are bringing onto our podcast will really benefit you and your family in whatever stage of parenthood, and birth, and pregnancy that you are in. Our sponsors allow us to keep bringing you this amazing podcast, so we really appreciate it when our listeners go and visit our podcast sponsor’s website and see if what they have to offer is a good fit for them. So, we want to thank you for checking out our podcast sponsors because, in the end, it all makes the world go around. We get podcast sponsors, and then when you support the sponsors, you are supporting us and allows us to keep bringing you this wonderful podcast. Right, Meagan?Meagan: Right. I love you. It’s like a little merry-go-round. Everyone is merry.Julie: Everyone is merry. I love it.Meagan: Oh my goodness. Okay, well we got a good laugh this morning. We are on podcast three of podcast five of the day. So, yeah. I think when this happens, we get a little bit more giggly. It’s just so funny.Julie: And we are not under the influence. I want to clear that up.Meagan: We are not.Julie: Except for maybe a little bit of caffeine here and there.Meagan: Wait, I thought you let caffeine go.Julie: Oh my gosh, I haven’t even told our podcast listeners yet. Yes. I have had to give up caffeine for health reasons that I won’t get into, but it makes me feel really, really old. But yeah, I have given up caffeine. I feel like I have lost my identity a little bit because I am the “always caffeinated computer geek”. That’s in my bio and now, I am not always caffeinated. I am really grumpy about it, but I have stopped caffeine six weeks ago. I started drinking homemade bone broth. Guys, I am making homemade bone broth.Meagan: Okay!Julie: I drink two to three cups of it every single day to help my gut health and overall health like that, but in line with that, I had to cut out caffeine. But now that it has been six weeks since I cut out caffeine completely, I occasionally allow myself a caffeinated beverage when I am feeling particularly stressed out because the caffeine really does calm me down and that’s because I have anxiety. So if you have anxiety, you can totally relate to what I’m saying. So, yeah. Just occasional caffeine.Meagan: Good for you. Good for you.Julie: I’m going to have to rewrite my bio. I am going to have to do that.Meagan: I know.Julie: Because now, I am just a “computer geek” and that’s not as exciting as an “always caffeinated computer geek”, right?Meagan: Yeah, no. You are a very exciting person.Julie: Oh, thanks.Cervical ChecksMeagan: We are so excited. This is actually something that Julie has been wanting to talk about for a long time and it’s the cervix. Let me just start off by saying a cervical exam is where-- just in case you don’t know. You might be a first-time mom listening, I don’t know. A cervical exam is where a skilled provider will insert their fingers into the vagina and check the cervix. When they are checking the cervix, what they are checking is how soft, how forward, how thin, and how much it opens, the cervix is. So right now, grab your lips and squeeze them together in a kissy face. Are you doing it? Are you doing it, Julie?Julie: Oh my gosh. Squeeze them together with my fingers? Like, squeeze them? People are going to think we’re nuts. If you are a first-time listener, I promise we are legit. Okay. I am grabbing my lips and squeezing them together.Meagan: This is what a midwife a long time ago told me. (Laughing) I am just laughing so hard, you guys.Julie: I am squishing my lips.Meagan: So if you squish your lips, not with your fingers. With your lips.Julie: Oh. Oh. (Laughing)Meagan: Like in a kissy face.Julie: Okay, okay. Starting over. Starting over. I am pursing my lips.Meagan: Mhmm. So if you feel that, now with your finger. Feel the tip. Can you feel how it is thick because of your lips? Maybe if you have thin lips, it’s thinner.Julie: I do kind of have thin lips.Meagan: But it’s kind of thick and harder. Does that make sense? Do you feel it? That’s kind of the way--Julie: I always say push on your forehead, and your nose, and your chin, and that kind of gives you the firmness of your cervix. On your forehead, it’s more firm. Your nose is a little softer and your chin is a little squishier.Meagan: Uh-huh. Yeah. I had a client that was texting their midwife and asking what they should be feeling for and it was that. She was like, “Pinch your lips together, like tight with your lips.”Julie: Like, pucker them?Meagan: Yep. Pucker them up like a kiss, tight, and then feel what that feels like with your finger. That’s what you are looking for if you are checking yourself. That’s why she suggested that. So anyway, that gets really hard and high. It might be far back and not open. It’s closed. It’s tight. You can’t get into your mouth.Anyway, the cervix can sometimes be like that, and then as labor becomes closer, it will start thinning, and opening, and softening. I love what Julie just said. Your forehead-- it’s hard. Your nose-- okay, it’s softer, still hard. And then, your lips. So that’s something that they are looking for. Now, in order to deliver-- I hate saying that all of the time. Rebecca Decker, you have got me. I love it. She has got me thinking all of the time. In order to give birth, you have to reach 10 centimeters, which means your cervix is all the way open and goes away.When a provider is checking a cervix, they are checking to see how dilated you are, how effaced you are, which means how thin you are, because that could be an indicator on how close you are to giving birth. However, it is not always. It is not always a great indicator and this is something that usually starts around 36 weeks. So when you reach 36 weeks, they typically will check for something called group B strep and then they will check the cervix. Julie is that when you-- I mean, you delivered early. It was before 36, but do you feel like at 36 weeks is typical for your clients? Like, “Oh, 36 weeks. I’m going to do my GBS test.”Julie: Yeah. They‘ll go in and they’ll be like, “Yeah, they are doing my GBS test. The doctor wants to do a cervical check. What should I say?”Meagan: “Should I do this?” Yes.Julie: Well, do you want to know what I always tell my clients? It’s scripted perfectly. I always tell them the risks and benefits, obviously, of a cervical check is a higher risk of introducing infection or bacteria into your vagina that is not already there, so it could increase your chance of infection. But what I say is that “If you decide to get a cervical check, it is a very personal choice. Nobody can decide for you, right? But if you decide to get a cervical check before labor starts, expect your cervix to be hard, closed, tight, and tilted backwards, and expect them to have to dig around for it, and it might be a little bit uncomfortable. If you go into your cervical check expecting that, your cervix is doing exactly what it needs to be doing at 36 weeks, which is keeping your baby in until it is time to deliver.” And then my clients always say, “Well then, what is the benefit of getting a cervical check if it is just to make sure my cervix is still closed and high?” And I’m like, “Well, exactly.”Meagan: Well, exactly.Julie: If you are concerned that you are in labor, or you are worried or whatever, then that might be something helpful. If you are 36 weeks and you’re dilated to 4 centimeters, that might be a problem, but also, I mean, there are some unique circumstances where it might be a normal thing, but the cervical check will only tell you what your cervix is doing at that exact moment in time. And at 36 weeks, and 37 weeks, and 38 weeks, and 39 weeks even, when you are getting cervical checks, expect it to be hard, low, closed, tight, and backwards.Even at 41 weeks sometimes, I have had clients going to get a cervical check. Their cervix is doing nothing. Their provider says that and then they get sad, and then emotions affect how labor starts, right?Meagan: Yes.Julie: But I have also had clients be completely low, closed, tight, hard, and then go into labor the next day and have their baby.Meagan: Exactly. That is something that I wanted to focus on is this is the crazy thing about cervical exams. One, they can be uncomfortable. They most likely will be especially if you’re a first-time mom and have never had any dilation, right? And if it is far back, then they are reaching back and around to try and check that cervix, so it is uncomfortable both physically and emotionally. And if you are a survivor of sexual abuse, or any trauma, or anything like that, it can be traumatizing and downright scary to have that happen because it is scary. It is scary.Julie: Yeah, triggering.Meagan: It is not someplace that you want people to be. Right? And so, to put yourself through that when you are potentially finding out really nothing that matters, then that is hard. I always tell my clients this when they ask me because it is a typical question, “Hey, I am 36 weeks. I am getting my GBS test today and they want to check my cervix. What would you do?” You know? I always tell people this, “A cervical exam means nothing, not even when you’re in labor because even when you are in labor, your body will tell you where you are at.” I have gone to home births where there has never been a cervical exam ever. I have never seen--Julie: Yeah. I didn’t have any with my last three births. My home births. I didn’t have any.Meagan: Yeah. I’ve seen it where this midwife never put her hands inside of this mom and she was like, “Oh, she is probably about this. Oh, she’s probably about this.” And then, the mom was ready to push and she was like, “Yep, okay.” This is following and trusting birth.So anyway, it doesn’t really mean much. I tell my clients, “If you feel you need to know, if it is going to hang over your head because you don’t know what you are, go ahead and get a cervical exam. But if it is something that is going to upset you when you hear a result that isn’t exactly what you are hoping, do not do it because it is not worth it.” Because like Julie just said, you can be high, closed, tight, posterior, and go into labor and be 10 centimeters in less than 24 hours later. Or guess what? You could be 6 centimeters for weeks. For weeks!Julie: Yeah, Meagan just had a client like that.Meagan: Yes I did. It was crazy.Julie: And do you know what though? On the other end of that too though, if you go and get a cervical check and they are like, “You are at 4 centimeters. Your body is going to have your baby soon,” and then it takes five days before you go into labor, that is equally just as discouraging.Meagan: Yes, absolutely.Julie: You’re like, “I am 4 centimeters. Why the heck is nothing happening now?” And guess what? Your mind can affect your hormones and prevent labor from starting when everything is all out of whack.Meagan: Mhmm, exactly. Yeah. And something else-- when I was preparing for my VBAC journey with Webster, I wasn’t even pregnant yet and starting my interviewing process of all the providers, and one of the providers that I spoke to said-- so, something I got was kidney stones when I was pregnant. I’m just one of those lucky people. It’s awesome. And my water breaks early on, so I have PROM, premature rupture of membranes. Not PPROM, just PROM. It breaks first before labor starts.Julie: Can kidney stones affect that? Does having kidney stones increase your chances of premature rupture of membranes?Meagan: So that’s what he was thinking. He was thinking--Julie: Interesting. I haven’t looked into that.Meagan: Yes. He said because my body-- I haven’t even looked into it since then. I just to…

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168 Breana's VBAC with a Special Scar + Preventing Preeclampsia Mar 17, 2021

Show notes

Breana’s first birth was not only an emergency Cesarean at 24 weeks due to severe preeclampsia, but she was also given a classical incision and told that under no circumstances would her body be able to tolerate labor in the future. The news broke Breana’s heart as she longed deeply for a natural, unmedicated birth. Breana researched extensively and found a community of women who also had special scars. When birthing unassisted seemed like her only option, Breana found Amish midwives who were willing to attend her birth. Her VBAC was triumphant, restorative, and wonderful in every way.When our bodies are properly fueled and nourished, our birth outcomes are better and our babies are healthier. Breana is a perfect example.We’ve always been told that preeclampsia has no known cause, but what if there WAS something we could do to prevent it? Additional linksSpecial Scars, Special HopeSilent Knife: Cesarean Prevention and Vaginal Birth after Cesarean (VBAC)My Homebirth after Preterm Classical Cesarean - Issue 47, Natural Mother MagazineThe Brewer Pregnancy DietBlue Ribbon Baby PagesThe VBAC Link Blog: Birth After Premature CesareanC-Section Incision Types: Learn More About Special ScarsFull transcriptNote: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar and to eliminate false starts and filler words. Julie: Welcome, welcome. It is Women of Strength Wednesday and you are listening to The VBAC Link podcast. This is Julie and Meagan is here with me today. We have a really neat story for you today. It’s been a while since we have had somebody on our podcast with a special scar, which is a scar that is different than the low, vertical incision or the bikini cut scar that most parents have when they get a Cesarean.Meagan: More horizontal, you mean?Julie: Yeah. Did I say vertical?Meagan: Yeah.Julie. Oh, well.Meagan: That’s okay.Julie: Different than the low, horizontal incision that most parents get when they have a C-section. There are lots of different types of special scars. This type that we are talking about today is a classical incision which means it’s over the top of the uterus and it goes vertical down the belly, or down the uterus rather. Sometimes it’s vertical on the belly and sometimes it’s not It just depends. But I’m really excited because Breana, our guest today, is from Pennsylvania. I’m actually just going to read her bio and what she wrote.Before I go into that and introduce her, I want to have Meagan share a Review of the week with us.Review of the WeekMeagan: Okay. This is from Gaby and she is on Apple Podcasts and her subject is “Hopeful for a VBAC.” She says, “I feel so lucky to have the time and space each evening (after my littlest has gone to bed) to listen to the meaningful and beautiful birth stories on The VBAC Link. I am hopeful for a VBAC in early September after having a traumatic birth story with my first child. Whatever this new story holds, I will be able to handle it better because I educated myself with this podcast. Thank you for sharing these stories with us all.”I am assuming that was-- let’s see. That was July 4th of last year, so she has had her baby by now.Julie: Are we going to stalk people?Meagan: Yeah, I was going to say. We are either going to have to stalk her on The VBAC Link Community on our Facebook. If you are not on that, definitely tune in to that on Facebook. Just search The VBAC Link Community, answer the questions, and we will make sure to get you in there. It’s an amazing community and yeah, Gaby. If you are still listening, email us. We would love to hear how things went and yeah. I’m going to turn the time back over to you, Julie.Breana’s storyJulie: All right. Here we go. Breana is really, really incredible. Her story is really awesome and I am just going to read her little bio for you because I don’t think I could say it better myself. She says, “My name is Breana and I am a wife and stay-at-home mom of two girls. In April 2018, my first daughter was delivered at just 24 weeks due to severe preeclampsia via a classical Cesarean.”I’m just going to do a little pause there for a minute. She had a preterm Cesarean and it’s a classical incision with a special scar. This is kind of a big deal. We have a blog about birth after premature Cesarean and also about special scars, but she has both of these.So she says, “I was told I would never be allowed to carry past 36 weeks and that I would need repeat Cesareans for all future babies or I would have a uterine rupture due to the classical incision I have been given. After much searching, I discovered the Brewer diet for preeclampsia and the Special Scar Organization, both of which were answers to my prayers. In August 2020, after a healthy, full-term pregnancy, I had a lovely home birth after classical Cesarean with wonderful, Amish midwives.”Okay. I want to pick apart all of these things and talk about them. But instead of doing that and taking up the whole time, I am going to turn the time over to Breana and let her share her wonderful story because this is a must-listen, I think, for everybody because it covers so many things. And then after she is done sharing her story, we are going to pick something to talk about.Breana: Okay, thank you so much. Yeah. My name is Breana. I have been married to my husband, Michael, for almost four years. I am a stay-at-home mom of two beautiful girls and we live near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. In November 2017, I got pregnant with my first baby. I was seeing midwives at a birth center in Pittsburgh for prenatal care and was planning to have an unmedicated birth at the center, but I had a really difficult pregnancy from the start and was dealing with severe morning sickness, like, vomiting every day several times a day. It was really hard for me to eat due to that and I think that my empty stomach was only making me sicker, but I didn’t realize it at the time.As a result, I wasn’t being well-nourished. That was a really bad start. When morning sickness didn’t go away by the second trimester, I expressed to the midwives my symptoms, which were severe nausea, persistent, debilitating migraines, and swelling. The midwives just dismissed my symptoms as common side effects of pregnancy and they blamed my migraines on hormonal changes.They told me to take Tylenol along with caffeinated coffee for the migraine and they assured me that the nausea would probably ease up soon. But by mid-April, I had a prenatal visit which included routine testing for which I was instructed to fast. When I got to that appointment, I was feeling really hungry, tired, and weak. When the midwife took my blood pressure, she looked shocked and asked if I was feeling all right. I remember being sort of frustrated and saying, “No. I really don’t feel well, which is what I have been trying to tell you for weeks.” But they had acted like it was all normal and no big deal. I just thought, “Okay, I guess this is how pregnancy is for everyone.”It was my first pregnancy, so after taking my blood pressure a few times, it was still super high and was what they considered to be within the hypertensive crisis zone. It was 180/110. After a quick urine dip test, they concluded that I needed to go immediately to the hospital for some additional tests and monitoring.That’s how it was put to me, so I really didn’t understand the fullness of the situation or realize how it serious it was. I imagined that I would just go in for a quick ultrasound, or blood test, or something and be home by that evening. But obviously, that wasn’t the case. When I arrived at the hospital, they told me they were surprised I hadn’t already had a stroke and said I needed to go to the ICU immediately.Meagan: Whoa, scary.Breana: Yeah. They told me I had to be prepared for an emergency C-section at any moment and that I would not be leaving that hospital pregnant. So it was extremely scary to have all of that thrown at me out of the blue. They told me that I had severe preeclampsia for which there was no known cause or cure and that the only possible way to save mine and the baby’s life was to deliver as soon as possible. They said there was this fine balance between giving my baby as much time to develop as possible and also not holding off so long that my body would begin to shut down from the preeclampsia.I was admitted to the hospital on a Tuesday and my daughter was born on the Friday afternoon. We spent four days in the hospital leading up to the C-section. By Friday afternoon, we were told that delivery could no longer be held off and that my daughter’s best chance was for me to have a C-section immediately. I expressed to them my wish to give birth vaginally, but I was told that she may not survive a vaginal birth. So it was a recommendation that we proceed with a C-section. They explained to me that given the extreme prematurity of my pregnancy, they would probably have to do a classical C-section so as not to risk cutting the major uterine arteries on my under-developed lower segment.They said that would mean a vertical incision on the upper portion of my uterus, which came with more risk and will make it impossible for me to ever deliver vaginally for future pregnancies. Obviously, the idea was pretty horrifying to me not only because surgery was my worst fear, but also because I had really wanted an unmedicated, natural birth and I was crushed at the prospect of never, ever getting to experience that.I was super hesitant after hearing that and my mind was reeling. Then, they told me that if I didn’t consent to the C-section right then and there, they would have to do one anyway, but in that case, there would be no time to give me an epidural, so I would be put under general, which I was terrified of, and also that they would definitely have to give me a classical, but that if I consented now, we would have more time to take it slow and maybe do the low transverse after all.Looking back, there was definitely a lot of pressure and I wasn’t really in my right mind because of all the drugs they had me on. It was honestly a struggle even to keep my eyes open. I asked that my husband and I be left alone so that we can think about what to do. I was a young 20-year-old, first-time mom and was trusting that the experts knew best. Obviously, I mean, I would have cut off my limbs if they told me it was necessary to save my baby’s life, so I was willing to do anything they said.Our daughter, Aurora, was born at 24 weeks weighing just 1 pound, 8 ounces, and measuring 12 inches from head to heel. We only got to see her for a brief moment before she was whisked off to the NICU, so there was no immediate skin-to-skin whatsoever. I couldn’t see her for probably the first 12 hours and they didn’t let me hold her for over two weeks. Even after that, it was often a fight with the NICU. So I often felt really alone trying to be an advocate during that time. She had a lot to overcome in the NICU and we ultimately spent 104 days there.She was born in April and we didn’t get to take her home until August. When we finally did leave, a respiratory therapist who had been there at the beginning told me he hadn’t thought she was going to live more than a few days. But she is two now and has absolutely no health problems at all which is really remarkable for a baby born so premature.Meagan: That’s awesome. Yeah.Breana: She’s so smart, and beautiful, and healthy and we are so, so proud of her and just so thankful to God for getting us through such a challenging time. I was also able to exclusively breastfeed her which I had been told wouldn’t be possible with a micro-preemie and I was actually laughed at when I let the NICU know I was staying full-time so that I could be with her and breastfeed her. So I just want to encourage other NICU moms to fight for and advocate for their babies in the NICU.I want to mention that during the four days leading up to the C-section, I was confined to a bed with IVs and constant monitoring. I was denied all food and drink during that time. I was absolutely starving and so thirsty but was told that it was too dangerous for me to eat in case we needed to suddenly rush in and do a C-section, in which case my stomach would need to be empty.Of course, it was really frustrating to try and go along with that reasoning when the days kept ticking by and a C-section just wasn’t happening, and all the while I was starving and just feeling weaker and weaker. I was also given magnesium sulfate through my IVs to prevent convulsions and diuretics to flush fluid out of my lungs.Julie: Oh my gosh, that is the worst.Meagan: Yucky.Julie: So awful.Breana: Yeah. I’ve since learned that diuretics are contraindicated during pregnancy due to their ability to deplete blood volume expansion and preeclampsia, which, of course, was the entire reason I was there in the first place. But essentially, they gave me a drug that accelerated the problem and it was within just hours of receiving the diuretic that they told me the C-section could no longer be put off and it was the only way to save my baby’s life.Julie: That makes so much sense. I had preeclampsia with my first and I had the magnesium sulfate drip during labor and my preeclampsia got way worse the first week after he was born than it had been my entire pregnancy. I was swollen up like the Michelin Man, or whatever you call it. All the way up from my feet to my legs were swollen up like a balloon and listen to that. I am just reading about the Brewer’s diet and I am super intrigued. So we are going to talk about that when you are done, but I am not going to keep interrupting I am going to let you go on with your story right now.Breana: Thank you. I am trying to pack it all in and not be a chatterbox the whole time, but thank you for giving me the time.Yeah, so that was terrible and again, I was a first-time mom and I was just like, “Okay, I am at the hospital. They are supposed to help me. They obviously know more than I do, so I’m just going to trust them.” When I’m asked if I think my C-section was unnecessary, I hesitate to answer because the C-section itself may have been necessary at that point, but only because of the improper care I received leading up to it.I was admitted into the hospital for preeclampsia symptoms, given high doses of magnesium sulfate, of which a side effect is breathing difficulties. Then, I was given a diuretic for problems rel to breathing difficulties and I was then given a C-section for severe preeclampsia symptoms, which the diuretic is known to exasperate.So this is a quote, I am going to read it real quick, from the documentary “The Business of Being Born”, which I think is a really great thing. Everyone should watch. It sums up how I feel about my experience. It says, “Step-by-step, one intervention leads to a series of interventions and then that result is the mother finally ends up with a Cesarean and everybody says, ‘Thank God we were able to do all the interventions to save your baby.’ But the fact of the matter is, if they hadn’t started the cascade of interventions in the first place, none of that would have been necessary.” So obviously, I was extremely sick when I arrived at the hospital and something needed to be done for me, but based on the studying I’ve since done regarding the decades of research on preeclampsia, I believe that ensuring I received proper nutrition should have been the first order of business that day instead of what did happen, which, unfortunately, was the opposite. My C-section recovery was pretty brutal. I had never experienced pain like that and I haven’t since. The hours immediately after the surgery consisted of me going into shock and having persistent vomiting and dry heaving that I couldn’t get under control which was pretty excruciating since I had just been freshly stitched up. It took a while, probably weeks, for me to be able to stand and walk without wincing in pain. It was not an easy recovery.When I was counseled in…

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167 Alysa's VBAC + Placenta Previa and Accreta Mar 10, 2021

Show notes

Alysa is a prime example of how every birth is its own unique story. With her first birth, Alysa had a very medicalized vaginal birth. During her second pregnancy, Alysa unexpectedly developed placenta previa, resulting in weeks of hospital bed rest and a very necessary Cesarean. After knowing firsthand how unpredictable birth can be, Alysa’s third birth was exactly the empowering, unmedicated VBAC she had envisioned. We also talk about placenta previa and accreta-- what it is, how severe it can be, and what the chances are that it will happen to you based on the most current research. Additional linksHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for ParentsEpisode 124: Elyssa’s CBAC + Birthing in a PandemicExpecting and Empowered Fitness GuidesNational Accreta FoundationFull transcriptNote: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar and to eliminate false starts and filler words. Meagan: Happy Wednesday. It is The VBAC Link with you today, Meagan and Julie, and of course, we have another amazing story to share with you today. We have our friend, Alyssa, on the line. She actually-- we just were talking about this. She has actually been with us from the beginning, which is so fun to have someone that we recognize and we know. She posts and everything, so thank you, Alyssa, for being so amazing on our social media outlets. We are so excited to have you here today. She did have a VBAC and it was after a situation that was unexpected. It is placenta previa. We are going to talk about that as well after she shares her story because this is something that is really necessary to have a Cesarean. It truly is. And so, we want to talk a little bit more about that, what it means, what it looks like, and also touch on placenta accreta and talk about the two differences.Review of the WeekMeagan: Before we jump into the story, of course, we have a Review of the Week. Julie will be sharing that with you today.Julie: Hey, hey. I am so excited. I really get excited when we interview people that have been with us from the very beginning.Meagan: It is so fun.Julie: I recognize Alysa’s Instagram handle and I am like, “I know who you are.” It’s so exciting. But do you know what is also really funny? The review I picked to read for this episode is from-- remember back when we shared my client Elyssa’’s story? Elyssa’s VBAC story? This review from Apple Podcasts is about Elyssa’s story and now, after we read the review about Elyssa’s story, we are going to hear Alysa‘s story.Meagan: Elyssa, we have Alysa.Alysa: Perfect.Julie: So don’t be confused. But this is from Cristin Anna on Apple Podcasts and the title is “Thank you for sharing Elyssa’s story.” She says, “Today I listened to the episode when Elyssa shared her story and I found myself identifying with her story so much, and I cried multiple times as she described how she felt, as it was word-for-word the feelings I felt after my first birth. I planned for a home birth, ended up going two weeks late, and ended up having to have a C-section at the hospital after finally going into labor, but my son’s heartbeat started dropping during contractions.”“Thank you for allowing Elyssa to share her story. The fact that she was able to share her second Cesarean and the fact that it wasn’t like the first one gives me hope that even if for some reason my VBAC is not successful, I can still have a better experience than my first birth.I struggled with feeling like a failure after my first birth and hearing from her, (and from you guys) that she did what she needed to do for her baby, and she is not a failure, but was still able to exercise her own power during her labor, was all so encouraging. I think reminding women who are trying for a VBAC that they aren’t a failure because they weren’t able to have a vaginal birth the first time around is so important and so healing for them. Thank you for empowering women and also encouraging them to do what is needed for their baby.”And I love that. I love that. We have talked about before how important it is for us to share all of the stories about VBAC with you including VBAC attempts-- I don’t know, for lack of a better word-- that don’t end in a vaginal birth, repeat Cesarean stories, and we even have a couple of uterine rupture stories. We want you to be prepared for all of the different outcomes that your birth could take. And so, we really appreciate that review from Cristin and we obviously appreciate Alysa for sharing her story with us. And now, we are going to hear from Alysa.Alysa’s storyAlysa: All right. I just have to say I am so grateful to be with you both. I said before we started that it is just surreal to be talking to you both since I have listened to all of the birth stories. It has meant so much to me through my pregnancy and leading up to this third birth of mine. I guess I will start with just a little bit about my first, and obviously second birth, and mostly my third birth, but my first I just wanted to touch on. I did have a vaginal birth with my son, but I was a very typical first-time mom and I just was like, “I will go with the flow and see what happens.” I think for some people that can be okay, but looking back, I wish I knew more. I wish I had a podcast like this that I had listened to or something to just know that--I knew there was something inside of me that wanted something different for my birth, but I was too afraid to go against the norm or to not be a good patient, which is so silly. It’s funny because I myself am a healthcare provider, but I struggle with that sometimes of not wanting to disappoint my providers. I realize now more than ever that that’s not why they’re there. I wouldn’t want my patients to feel that way. So anyway, I had a vaginal birth, but it was very medicalized. I was induced starting at 0 centimeters at 37 weeks for not really great reasons. I ended up getting an epidural and I pushed for almost three hours. He was born. He was healthy and it was great, but it just wasn’t what I wanted. So fast forward with my daughter, my second birth. I was so gung-ho. I was going to have a natural birth. I was going to have an unmedicated hospital birth, and I was reading all of the books, and doing all the things, and I got the absolute surprise of my life with that pregnancy. At 20 weeks we did the anatomy ultrasound and they said my placenta was low-lying, which is actually very, very common at the 20-week mark.So my doctor said, “Don’t worry about it at all. 90% of the time it moves out of the way by the time you deliver, so don’t even stress.” I looked up all of the research on it and it matched what she said so I was like, “Yep. I’m not going to even worry about this.” I exercised. I went on a vacation. We did all of the normal things not worrying about it.But then at 28 weeks, I was actually at work. Right in the middle of standing up to examine a patient of mine, I felt a gush and then a subsequent gush. I excused myself from the room and I thought initially it was going to be my water, but I looked down and I saw blood pretty much down to mid-thigh.Meagan: Wow. Scary.Alysa: Yeah. It was terrifying. The only saving grace was that because I was 28 weeks, I could feel her move so much. I am a relatively petite person, and so I could see her move and I could feel her move, so I got that comfort right away of knowing like, “Okay. She is still doing okay.” But it was a lot of blood. And so, we obviously rushed right to the hospital right up to OB and I was admitted for five days. I lost about a unit of blood, but it stopped and it slowed. I got the steroids. I got the whole thing. NICU came in and talked about delivering, but they were able to keep her in there and she did okay. Eventually, I went home with the direction that I could only be within a 20-minute radius of the hospital and, yeah. So we just kind of laid low and then eventually at just shy of 34 weeks, I had my second bleed and my doctor said, “If that happens, this is where you stay now.” So then I stayed in the hospital, had another bleed in the hospital, but eventually did make it to 36 weeks which was the goal, and delivered her by Cesarean. And so like you said, it was a very necessary Cesarean, but it doesn’t certainly mean it was easy by any means.Meagan: Right.Alysa: I mean, I had a vision of what my birth was going to be like and it was obviously-- I went from wanting a very hands-off birth to having one of the most hands-on experiences you can have. Being in the hospital for a total of about four weeks over that pregnancy was incredibly hard emotionally, but also just being constantly in the world that things are being done to you was really hard. It was super hard. It made me not want to be anywhere close to that situation again. And so, I knew right away that if I was going to have another birth, I had to have a VBAC and I had to do everything in my power to make sure that was going to happen.I really thought for me, that was going to be out-of-hospital. That was confirmed when I had an annual physical about a year later and I talked to one of the providers about having a VBAC. I started asking some of the questions really that you guys layout and your resources about how to see if your provider is VBAC tolerant or VBAC friendly. I very quickly found out they were tolerant. I mean, I asked about going past 39 weeks and they were like, “Oh no, no, no, no. But yeah, yeah. We can let you try.” And induction, they just didn’t even really-- yeah.Meagan: They weren’t following evidence-based practices.Alysa: No. No, and it was very clear to me that if I attempted to have a VBAC with them, it was not going to happen. So that day I had that appointment, I called-- there is a wonderful, wonderful birth center in my area called Authentic Birth Center, and so I called them and said, “Hey, do you guys even take VBAC people?” They were like, “Yeah, of course.” So I was like, “This is what it is going to be.”So I got pregnant and started seeing the midwives and they were absolutely wonderful. As you know and you have talked about in other podcasts, this third baby, I had my son and it was COVID, so COVID was part of this journey as well. But I was so, so, so, so grateful that prior to COVID I had already started care with them because during that time with all of the restrictions that were happening in hospitals, there were so many women who were trying to switch it up and change to an out-of-hospital birth. The fact that I was already with them was amazing because they were really struggling to keep up with the amount of women who wanted to switch out of the hospital.Julie: We saw that a lot here too. A ton of our clients switched. It was just nuts.Alysa: Mhmm. I can’t imagine. Those midwives were probably just so busy. They have to try to care, they want to care for everyone well, so it’s not like they can take every single person. I just have to say too, and I told my midwives this, but I am so, so grateful that while COVID was going on during my pregnancy and birth, it was never a huge part of my story. I am just so grateful for that-- that they still focused on my healthy pregnancy, my healthy body, this healthy baby and continued to make every appointment about that, about us, and about our care, and about that well-rounded care that midwives are so well-known for. It was so empowering and it was everything I hoped it would be. So I’m just-- I am so grateful.I did have a lot of anxiety through the pregnancy of feeling like I had all these hurdles to get over in order to make it to my VBAC, which I am sure a lot of women feel with any VBAC, but at the ultrasound, here I am thinking, “Okay, I just have to-- the placenta. Please, please let the placenta not be in the way,” because I knew that there was no changing that and thank God at 20 weeks it wasn’t. It was seven whole centimeters away and I was so, so, so grateful.Julie: A great distance.Alysa: Yes, exactly. Every step of the pregnancy was just another hurdle to overcome in my mind. I got to do the glucose tolerance and that was good. My blood pressure kept being good. Baby was head down, and so everything was just lining up.I guess that brings me towards the end of the pregnancy. I can honestly say that the difference between this pregnancy and my previous two is, I just did so much to prepare between listening to you guys, and general mindfulness, and staying educated on what was true, and then also, I was so physically active. There is a wonderful exercise program called Expecting and Empowered that I absolutely adore and they have a postpartum program too. That helped a ton.I reread all the typical birth books that were just so helpful too, but definitely towards the end, just lots of mindfulness and lots of visualizing. Visualizing my birth and lots of really just digging into God’s word and his faithfulness. As a Christian, that was a big part of my journey too of trusting in His plan and His amazing way He created women to give birth. So, yeah. I guess that leads me to birth. I think I stayed pretty patient. I think the main reason for that too was I was just so grateful to have a really normal pregnancy. I got to all these points in pregnancy where I was like, “Wow. I was in the hospital at this point,” or “I had already had my daughter at this point.” It was just so amazing to be past those dates. So I had my son-- I was induced at 37 weeks and my daughter at 36. So once I got past that 37 weeks, I was like, “I have never been this pregnant.” It was also exciting for me in a way. Of course I, like every woman, was ready at the end physically and emotionally, but I was overall just very grateful.But, yeah. I guess that brings us to the week. The week of my due date, I had days on and off where I would get contractions. I would get contractions, they would be 10 minutes apart, and then 8 minutes, and 10 minutes, and I am like, “Oh, maybe this is turning into something,” and then, of course, I would fizzle out. Then on the Monday prior to my due date, my due date was on a Wednesday, I had an appointment and I was getting a lot of contractions during the appointment. When they were listening to baby, his heart rate was going down during some of the contractions and they didn’t love that. They were like, “How much have you eaten and drank today?” And I hadn’t. I was super slammed at work. Obviously, with COVID, I am a PA. I am a healthcare provider, so COVID was just so stressful for many reasons, but just mentally stressful of everything was going on.So they said, “Why don’t you come back later so we can just take a listen again?” And so, I drank a bunch, and ate a bunch, and came back later and they were reassured by that. I got to my due date and I was just doing all the things. I was exercising and going on walks, doing squats. I was drinking red raspberry leaf tea. I had been doing dates for weeks in advance. And again, just really trying to prep my mind more than anything. I kept thinking, “If I am so stressed at work, baby is not going to come when I’m stressed. So I need to do everything possible to reduce stress.”And so, I had decided that week that no matter what, this week was going to be my last week of work. The following week, I was going to be 41 weeks and I’m like, “I just need to not have so much stress.” And so again, that week I had a couple days where I would get some contractions and they would fizzle out. I thought, “Okay. It’s going to happen. Everything that my body is doing, is doing something.” I just need to be happy that it’s doing something. My last day of work was Thursday and while I was at work, I was, again, having some of those contractions, but I did not think anything of it. This was the day past my due date. I was 40+1. I was having some contractions on and off, but obviously, I was working, so it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t enough to make me stop or really even think that much about it. I literally joked with my cowork…

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166 Ali's VBAC + Fear Release and Advocacy Mar 03, 2021

Show notes

We are SO excited to be joined today by our friend, Ali Levine. You will instantly feel her bright energy as she shares her awesome VBAC story with us.As a celebrity stylist and TV personality, Ali is no stranger to being in the limelight. With her first pregnancy, she had glamorous photoshoots, went to flashy events, and made a dreamy birth plan. When the natural water birth of her dreams quickly turned into a traumatic and invasive C-section, Ali was left confused, disappointed, and depressed. Ali drastically changed her approach to birth with her second pregnancy. Once she began researching VBAC, Ali was determined, intentional, and never looked back.Ali’s VBAC journey is one of a life-changing, spiritual awakening that we absolutely love and know you will love too. Additional linksHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for ParentsAli’s Podcast: Everything with Ali Levine Ali’s Instagram: @alilevinedesignEpisode sponsorThis episode is sponsored by our signature course, How to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for Parents. It is the most comprehensive VBAC preparation course in the world, perfectly packaged in an online, self-paced, video course. Together, Meagan and Julie have helped over 800 parents get the birth that they wanted, and we are ready to help you too. Head over to thevbaclink.com to find out more and sign up today.Sponsorship inquiriesInterested in sponsoring a The VBAC Link podcast? Find out more information here at advertisecast.com/TheVBACLink or email us at info@thevbaclink.com.Full transcriptNote: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar and to eliminate false starts and filler words. Julie: You are listening to The VBAC Link podcast and we are so excited. We have been chitchatting with Ali today and she has a really amazing birth story to tell. We cannot wait for you to hear it. I am sitting here in my dentist’s parking lot. I literally just got done getting a filling. I had to rush out so that I could be on the call to listen to Ali’s story today. And so before we do that, Meagan is going to go ahead and give us a Review of the Week.Review of the WeekMeagan: Yes, I am. Oh my gosh, you guys are in for a treat. Ali is so fun. We have just been talking to her for like, five minutes and I am just already giddy to hear her story. She has got such a fun, live personality to her. It’s going to be awesome. This review is from jovannaf1 and in parentheses, it says “Germany.” So, I am wondering if she is either in Germany or her name is German.Julie: Ooh, that would be fun.Meagan: I know, right? Her title is “Love it.” This is from Apple Podcasts. It says, “Thank you so much for spreading such an important message, ladies. I am currently pregnant with my third child and your podcast has given me so much help and resources to know that VBA2C is possible. I find women’s stories so inspiring. Thank you.”And we want to thank you for leaving that awesome review and thank all of you who are listening and support us along this journey. This podcast has been absolutely so much fun. We are so excited to be able to continue offering all of the stories and continue to get submissions. We get submissions all the time and it is always just so awesome to read them even if they are not all shared. We read every single one. They are all incredible. So, thank you, thank you, thank you and if you haven’t already, please drop us a review. It means the world to us and we will read it on a podcast one day.Julie: Do you know what is so funny? My mom, I don’t even think she knows what a podcast is still. It is so funny because sometimes when we are chatting, I will say, “You know, Mom? Look. Look at these reviews. See? I am actually helping people with what I do. I am really making a difference.” She looks at me and she smiles and she is like, “I know you are.” I am like, “No but really, Mom. Look at all my reviews!”It’s just so fun. We really do love them and thank you guys for helping my mom know that I am actually helping people.Ali’s storyMeagan: Okay, so we are going to jump into this episode because like I said, you guys are in for a treat. You’re going to notice right off the bat, Ali is just such a fun person to listen to. She has had a VBAC and we just need to give her a little introduction if you would not mind, Ali. First of all, can I just tell you? Maybe you’ve heard this before. This is not VBAC-related. This is in regards to your Instagram page. I don’t know why. So, it is Ali Levine and I always read it like “Avril Lavigne” every single time. When you started to contact us, I was like, “Avril Lavigne is contacting us?!”Julie: “He was a skater boy. She said, ‘See you later boy.’”Meagan: I was like, “Oh my gosh.” So, it is not Avril Lavigne. It is Allie Levine and, is it LaVINE or LaVEEN?Ali: No, it’s LaVEEN. It is so funny because I have had this said to me several times. People will be like, “So, do you know her?” I am like, “I think she is a distant cousin.” Same with Adam. You know what I mean? It’s so funny. I have actually styled Adam back in the day when I was styling different celebrities. It is just so funny when people say that to me because I crack up. So, yes, no. I am not Avril Lavigne, but I bring the same kind of flavor, I think, as she does.Meagan: You are so awesome. Yeah, it is just so funny. It is just how it reads. It just automatically goes to Avril Lavigne in my mind, but you are so awesome. We think you are awesome. And, yeah. As you were saying, you are a celebrity stylist, which, how cool is that? Motherhood, fashion, lifestyle expert, and TV personality. I mean, you are going to hear it coming out right here. You are going to see it on her Instagram page. If you haven’t, go right now. It is @alilevinedesign. So, it is @alilevinedesign. Go check her out. It is super fun. I think you actually have a couple, like Everything with Ali Levine, right? Like, you have a couple of pages.Ali: Yes, that’s my podcast.Meagan: That’s your podcast.Ali: Everything with Ali Levine is my podcast, yes.Meagan: Yes. Ali Levine. So, go listen to her. It is just so fun. So, okay. I am just going to read your bio. Is that okay?Ali: Whatever you want.Meagan: Whatever I want, all right. So it says, “Ali Levine believes that no matter where you roam, from the laundry room to the red carpet, authenticity is your superpower and confidence is your best accessory.”I love that. The week your podcast goes on, we need to make a little word blurb and put that and put your name in that. It’s amazing.Julie: I can make a shirt. I want to make a shirt.Meagan: Do it. Let’s do it. “The New York-hotshot-turned-Hollywood style maven delivers a real, raw look at her own motherhood journey amid the treasures she’s uncovered in the universal search for authenticity, spiritual wholeness, and happiness.”Seriously, so excited to have you. I know that you have two beautiful daughters. We are excited to hear about both of their births. So, before I take up all the time ranting and raving about how awesome you are, let’s let everyone hear about how awesome you are from you and your awesome story.Ali: Aw. Well, thank you so much for having me. I was telling you before we started recording-- truly, I am so honored to be here tonight. I listen to you guys literally every day still, now. I was listening my entire pregnancy. My doula, Stacey, has given your podcast to so many different clients when she is like, “Hey, this client is struggling. What should I have them listen to?” And I am like, “Have them listen to The VBAC Link.” You guys have been such a godsend, truly. Especially during the pandemic, and everything that was going on with my birth, and plans changing every day, the only solid piece I had was with you guys. I literally had you in my ear as much as humanly possible to keep putting the intention that I was going to get my VBAC and I did with my second daughter. It was so freaking magical and healing. It makes me cry still.Meagan: Well, I love it because one of the things that I feel sometimes weird about even though it’s my own podcast is, I still go back and listen to all the stories. I am not having babies anymore. I am not preparing for a VBAC, but all of these stories are just so inspiring. And honestly, they help me because I can send these to my clients. So many of these are powerful and educational for my own clients, so I am excited to hear that both you and your doula are still with us. You’re still hanging out with us even though you rocked your VBAC and, yeah. We are just so excited that you are with us.Ali: Well, thank you. I agree with you completely and if there is anything I have learned from my social media and my own podcast, it is that beautiful authenticity, that sharing of that real and rawness, and being able to be vulnerable and share all of that. Not only is it so healing and beautiful for the individual, but it is so empowering for the other women listening and for the moms that are going through it. It is like, we are all there for each other and in that sense, we are all really going for our VBAC and when you get to hear these other stories-- like, during my pregnancy, I remember finding you guys randomly when I was searching for VBAC support and I was listening. I just started falling in love with the stories and I was like, “Oh my gosh. I could picture myself in that position. Oh my gosh.” And to feel like I could do it, it was such an empowering feeling. So, kudos to you guys, truly, for this show.Meagan: Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. It has been so rewarding. It truly has.Ali: That’s amazing.Julie: Yeah, thank you. It is fun to come full circle, where we have people that were listening to the podcast and are on the podcast. I just feel like it is really cool when you were listening to the stories, and you were getting inspired by the stories, and then you get to share your story now and inspire other people. Then, we have this domino effect where people are listening to the podcast, and then sharing their stories, and then others are listening to their stories and then sharing their stories. It is just this really cool community and platform that we have built. It just makes me really happy.Ali: No, I love it. And you can hear that with you guys. Like, truly. Every time you listen, you hear that happiness and how much you guys celebrate everyone who is on and their stories and it is like-- something that I have learned with my second daughter is, birth is truly beautiful. It is something that I honestly with my first, especially after having quite a traumatic C-section, I really was in a fear-based place. I am so grateful that I switched from that fear to that love, and that transformation, and all that because it really is. As intense as it can be, the more you can be intentional, the more you can empower yourself, no matter what the circumstance, it is transformational and it is life-changing and so many ways. Not just in, of course, the fact that you give birth, but in my opinion, you are reborn. There is a spiritual awakening, at least for myself. It has just been so magical for me to get to really, really dive into it. And so, I am excited to share it with you guys.Meagan: Well, we are excited to hear it.Ali: All right, so going back to Amelia. When I got pregnant-- we talked about the fact that I am a celebrity stylist and I do a lot with television and Hollywood and all of that. And so, when I got pregnant, I had just come off of being on a show on Bravo, so people nationally knew my pregnancy. A lot more eyeballs were watching my pregnancy than I expected them to be and watching my journey, which was really amazing and cool, but also a lot of pressure at the same time.I really didn’t realize how much it played into my actual pregnancy and birth. When I was in the midst of thinking about what I wanted to have for a birth plan, I was of course very much in the mindset of like, “I really want to have a natural birth, and I want to have a tub birth, and I want it to be beautiful, and I want flowers, and I want this, and I want that.” I am a more natural person in general in how I like to do things. I like to seek out natural options before I go to something else. And so for me, it felt like it really aligned and it was what I wanted to do.I honestly didn’t really do my research or homework into what that looked like. I got a midwife. I got a doula, but I didn’t do research beyond that. I didn’t really look into what it potentially could be. It was more just like I made sure I had my team and I made sure I had a back-up doctor with that team in case things didn’t go that way just to make sure I was safe, and that was it. I didn’t really do much research I guess I would say.And so, once it came time for me when I went into labor-- First off, I will share that I was getting really fed up with everybody asking me when I was going to pop when I was going to have the baby. My parents were sitting and looking at me like this balloon that was going to pop and I am like, “Oh my gosh. It is okay. I am fine. They checked. The baby is fine. I am fine.” But every two seconds it was like, “Why haven’t you gone into labor? How come she hasn’t come yet?” I was like, “I don’t know.” It was a lot of pressure, honestly. I got so fed up at around-- I think it was at 40 weeks and I said to my husband, “I can’t deal anymore. If one more person asks me, I am going to lose it.” So, I took castor oil, which I don’t advise.Meagan: I did that with my first birth too.Ali: Did you? Okay.Meagan: Yes, and everyone was asking me the same questions. I had one coworker who was like, “Do I need to get you a wheelbarrow to wheel you around the office?” I am like, “Shut up.”Ali: Right. Nobody wants to hear that. It is funny for a minute and then you are like, “Please, just let me be because clearly, I am uncomfortable, and I am trying to be at peace with this, and I am trying to allow my baby to come when they are supposed to come,” which, you know. It is easier said than done. And then you’re sitting there and they are like, “Well, you haven’t popped yet.” My mom was like, “Well, I had you and they had to induce me. Well, what if that is what you need? What is going on?” And I was like, “Oh my gosh. Let’s just leave all of the pressures off of me please and let my body do its thing.” I couldn’t deal.So, I took castor oil. It did definitely jumpstart something because all of a sudden, five hours later, my water broke and I was going into labor. But I went into pre-labor and pre-contractions because of the castor oil. And so, we think that now, obviously in hindsight, that it probably pushed her too fast and she wasn’t ready. Because first off, it made me feel really uncomfortable. I went into my birth center to my midwife and I wasn’t really dilated past even a 3, and so she sent me home and was like, “You know, go home and go to sleep. Try to do this and try to do that.” Of course, I couldn’t do any of those things. I was losing it at home trying to stay calm and wait for her to come. We went back to my birth center and then I was finally progressing a little bit more. I still wasn’t active, but she took me because I think she felt bad that I was struggling.And so, we go to my midwife’s birth center and we are there. Hours of really hardcore, manual, full-blown natural labor, really doing the work. Squatting, on the toilet, on the ball, in the shower, in the bed, on all fours, just constant, constant, and it was a good day of full-blown movement trying to get my body to do what I needed to do, and progress, and make things happen.I finally started getting too active and she was like, “All right. Let’s transition you to the tub so that we can get you ready and get you comfortable if that’s where you want to be. I got in the tub and I immediately felt super sick, and super overwhelmed, and dehydrated, and also nauseous. I threw up. She was like, “All right. Let’s get you out.” So, I got b…

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165 Lexus' Cesarean + Birth Trauma Processing Feb 24, 2021

Show notes

Today’s episode is vulnerable, raw, and beautifully courageous. In the first of a two-part episode series, we meet Lexus. Lexus shares the trauma of her first birth which ended in a crash Cesarean. She walks us through her anxiety, shock, the negligence of the hospital staff, and how she was stripped of the first birth experience she had envisioned.Lexus is currently pregnant with her second baby and is preparing for a VBAC. She shows us how she is finding healing even before her redemptive birth outcome. We can’t wait for Lexus to come back and share her second birth story!We wish birth trauma didn’t exist. We wish we could wave a magic wand and make it all disappear. But here at The VBAC Link, we also know how resilient you are. We see what you overcome. We know what victories you are capable of. We love you and continue to be inspired by you, Women of Strength.Trigger Warning: We know that unfortunately, many of our listeners can relate to the trauma Lexus shares. This episode may bring up unresolved feelings from a previous birth. Please give yourself grace and use discretion when listening. Additional linksHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for ParentsAlexis Joy Center for Perinatal Mental Health Episode sponsorThis episode is sponsored by our signature course, How to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for Parents. It is the most comprehensive VBAC preparation course in the world, perfectly packaged in an online, self-paced, video course. Together, Meagan and Julie have helped over 800 parents get the birth that they wanted, and we are ready to help you too. Head over to thevbaclink.com to find out more and sign up today.Sponsorship inquiriesInterested in sponsoring a The VBAC Link podcast? Find out more information here at advertisecast.com/TheVBACLink or email us at info@thevbaclink.com.Full transcriptNote: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar and to eliminate false starts and filler words. Trigger WarningMeagan: Hey everyone, this is Meagan. I wanted to drop a little trigger warning here for this awesome episode. This episode is about sharing birth trauma and how to process it leading up to this person‘s VBAC. We just wanted to let you know it may be traumatic listening to it and bring up past fears or feelings that you may have had from your previous birth. Dive right in though, she gets really raw and emotional and shares what she does to work through her trauma.Meagan: Hello, hello. It is Wednesday and we have another amazing podcast episode for you today. This is The VBAC Link podcast and you are with Meagan, myself, and our assistant, Sarah, today instead of Julie. Sarah, we are so excited that you are with us.Sarah: Oh, I am so excited to be here.Meagan: I am going to totally tattletale on Julie. She is normally by the book, on time, total scheduler, like awesome. I am the one that is scatterbrained. When we scheduled today’s podcast, she forgot she had a prior commitment. She is actually getting her teeth drilled right now, so probably not having as much fun as us. Poor Julie. Send her some love over there at the dentist. But we are excited today to be recording with our friend, Lexus. Today’s episode is going to be a little bit different than some of our other episodes. As you know if you have been listening with us, we tend to share VBAC or CBAC stories. Today, Lexus is going to be sharing her C-section story and she is actually pregnant right now, due this year, and hasn’t had her VBAC yet, but is preparing for her VBAC. And so, we want to share her story today and what she is doing to prepare for her VBAC. But of course, before we dive into her awesome story, we want to turn the time over to Sarah to share one of our awesome reviews from one of our listeners.Review of the WeekSarah: Yes. I have a review from Danielle Clady. She left the review on our Google podcast, which is exciting because we don’t get very many reviews on our Google podcast. She says, “I have been listening to this podcast for MONTHS while I drive for work as I prepare for my VBAC in July. I recommend it to all expecting moms (including first-time moms) because I WISH I knew about it before my first birth. The podcast is the reason I have hired a doula. Fingers crossed restrictions are lifted and she can come to the hospital!”So exciting. It doesn’t say when. Let’s see, July. So she would’ve had her baby already because she left this review in May.Meagan: In May, okay. So if you are listening still, write us and let us know how your birth went. We always love to know the follow-ups. Maybe we should be like Julie and stalk her in our community to see if she is in there and has posted.Sarah: Yes.Meagan: Do you know what? I love that she said that she recommends it to all first-time moms. That is something that I think is awesome about this podcast. It really isn’t just targeted to people wanting to VBAC. It really is something that all birthers can listen to because we are learning in each episode ways to avoid Cesarean, ways to advocate for ourselves, education pieces on how to help our bodies be ready. It is just so awesome. So if you are someone or if you know someone who is pregnant, or expecting, or wanting to start trying, definitely send them this podcast because we would love to reach all the moms out there and help them achieve the birth of their dreams.Sarah: Oh, 100%. I recommend this podcast to everyone I know regardless of if they are first-time moms or if they have already had a baby and didn’t have a Cesarean because there is something in every episode that someone can relate to in their birth.Episode sponsorJulie: Do you want a VBAC but don’t know where to start? It’s easy to feel like we need to figure it all out on our own. That’s what we used to do, and it was the loneliest and most ineffective thing we have ever done. That’s why Meagan and I created our signature course, How to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for Parents, that you can find at thevbaclink.com. It is the most comprehensive VBAC preparation course in the world, perfectly packaged in an online, self-paced, video course. Together, Meagan and I have helped over 800 parents get the birth that they wanted, and we are ready to help you too. Head on over to thevbaclink.com to find out more and sign up today. That’s thevbaclink.com. See you there. Lexus’ storyMeagan: Okay, we are so excited to dive into this episode. I definitely think that there is going to be some emotion in this because as I have been reading through Lexus‘ story, there were some hard points in her labor, and her journey, and her birth. We are excited for her to share them and to share the tips on how we can better prepare for the next birth. Lexus, we would like to turn the time over to you.Lexus: Hi. Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited. This is my very first podcast, so I am super eager, and yeah, like you said, pretty nervous about the emotions that might come up, but I am embracing them because that is part of the journey as well.Meagan: Yes.Lexus: Yeah, so I can just get started. Back in April, I was 40 weeks and 6 days pregnant with my son, Theodore. We were getting ready to go in. It was my induction day. It was a Monday. I went into the hospital at 8:00 a.m. My husband and I were like two kids going to the candy shop. We were so excited. We were smiling from ear to ear. We really just had no idea how fast things can change and flip. I definitely think-- see? The emotions have started already. I am sorry. I definitely think it is something that going forward, instead of saying that, “This is my plan.” I am having a lot of, “These are my goals,” for the next birth. That has really helped put it into perspective that things can go not according to plan.Meagan: Definitely. That’s such a great point. We talk about birth plans and stuff. I have over the years steered my clients away from calling it a birth plan or having a “plan” because we know things can change. And so, if we can know our preferences and try to achieve all of our goals in the process, sometimes if they do change, then that plan doesn’t seem to have failed.Lexus: Absolutely. Yeah. That was the biggest part for me. So, yeah. We went in and we started the very long and really difficult process of induction. When they first told me about going in for my induction, I really wasn’t anticipating everything that was going to happen. The first thing that they did when I got in there was the initial height, weight, etc. But then we had a doctor come in and say, “We are going to do the Foley catheter on you.” I really wasn’t thinking, but looking back on it in hindsight, that for me was so-- I mean, it was scary. It was painful. I never want to scare women or moms from the process because it is so different for everyone. But I think there is something to be said that when it comes to forcing your body to do something that it’s not yet ready to do, that can take a toll. It truly does.I first got the Foley catheter and instantly as soon as it was placed, the doctors were taking off their gloves and the nurse was trying to fix the monitor and put it back on my son’s heartbeat. She couldn’t get it onto his heart. She couldn’t find it. The doctors were about to just walk out of the room and leave and the nurse said, “Aren’t you guys going to stay here for a minute?” She was moving it around and I really wasn’t even thinking that it was a big deal in the moment, because I just kept thinking, “Oh, he flipped around. He is a super active baby in there. He’s always kicking. He is always moving.”And then, I started to see the doctors look more and more at the monitor and look more, not-- I honestly wouldn’t say concerned. It just looked like they were almost studying it. All of a sudden, she was moving it around and they call a Condition O and the bells start going off. My husband and I were sitting there like, “Well, we don’t really know what a Condition O is.” We were just kind of, you know, “They arere trying to find it. They needed some backup, whatever.”And then all of a sudden, 20 to 30 people come rushing into the room and they are telling me to get on my side, get on the other side, get on my hands and knees, get up and they threw an oxygen mask at me. That’s when I really knew, “Oh my goodness. Something is seriously wrong.” I just remember being on my hands and knees and thinking to myself, “I can’t support myself. My arms are shaking. My legs are shaking. I can’t support myself. I can’t do it.”I remember looking around the room, looking for someone that could be my focal point. My husband is great but he was just as scared. We had a swarm of people in the room and he was pushed to the back so other people can do what they have to do. That for us was a very heavy, emotional moment. I start crying. I start panicking. You know, shaking. It was really heavy. All of a sudden, I don’t know how, but the heartbeat of my son came back on and it was perfect. Looking back and when I asked, they had said that only two or three minutes had passed, but it felt like hours of that panic and not being able to comprehend what had happened in such a short amount of time.And so, they said, “His heart rate is back. It’s stabilized. He is great.” I rested myself back on the bed and I am still shaking. I am still-- you know, I was in shock. I was traumatized in that moment right there. They come in again and they say, “Wow. We know that was super scary. We just want to explain to you that was a Condition O. We were getting you prepped to go in for an emergency C-section. We had to get your son out right in that minute. It was serious.” We started to just look at each other and look around like, “Oh my gosh. How is this happening? What is happening?” And so they said, “Your anxiety caused your son to go into distress in that moment.” I remember going, “Oh my gosh. I haven’t even given birth yet and I’m already messing up.”Being told that your anxiety is causing your son to go into distress, I mean, how can you process that? Where is the evidence behind this? Where is-- you know? How can you blame that moment on me and on the nervousness I was feeling when it just didn’t make sense to me? I just remember sitting there and being told this but feeling still so numb from everything that had happened the last five minutes or however long it had been in that time.Meagan: You know, that is interesting too because your anxiety-- I mean, anxiety in general. I would have anxiety in that moment. That anxiety, you may have been anxious going into the situation, but then the anxiousness was created by what was happening. That is very interesting. I am sorry. I am sorry that you were blamed.Lexus: Yeah. That is exactly what it was. It felt like in that moment there wasn’t really an explanation for what had happened, so it was trying to placate or say, “Well, this is what caused it. It won’t happen again if we just keep this in line, etc.”That was definitely something that had already set me up for the feelings of going, “Oh my gosh. What is going on?” They told us over and over, “It was a fluke. There is absolutely no reason it should happen again. It was an incredibly rare circumstance that it would happen.” They suggested getting the epidural so that if something did happen, I could be awake for my C-section, but there was absolutely no reason to suspect that it would happen. I initially had said I didn’t want the epidural going into it just because it scared me-- the risks and the procedure of getting it scared me in general. It was a scary process to think about. But I said, “Okay, yeah. That is something that I need to do so that I can get the most out of this experience and I can be there for the birth of my son.”I signed all of the waivers and all of the information. They came in and they started to put the epidural in. As soon as it was placed, I knew something was wrong. I remember saying almost instantly, “Only half of me is going numb.” They kept saying, “Well, you have to lay on your other side because the epidural and the medication works by gravity.” I’ve done a lot of research since that time and I know that is not correct at all. Epidurals don’t work via gravity.They had kept telling me, “You have to lay on that side. Keep pushing the button. Keep medicating. Keep switching, but stay on that side if it is still not getting the medication.” So I said, “Okay. We will try it.” I kept laboring. Over the course of the next 10 hours that I labored, I requested, from my memory, four times for a provider to come in and check the placement of the epidural because I still didn’t think that it was correct. My husband remembers more-- more times that I asked, that is, and I remember four very vividly saying, “Something is not right. I have been on my left side this entire time. Something is going on.” Over the course of 10 hours, not a single person from the anesthesiology team came to check on the placement of my epidural. I briefly had providers come in. I shared my concern and it was, “All right, we will pass that along.”When the nurse came in, I said, “Listen, please. Can someone have someone come in and check the epidural? It is not right.” They said, “Well, are you pushing the button?” I said, “Yes. I am pushing the button.” They just said, “All right. We will go let them know. We will send someone in.”So, 10 hours passed. It is insane to think that 10 hours passed and I wasn’t properly-- the epidural was just in my back and not being monitored. They are supposed to be monitored. They are supposed to be checked for placement. When changeovers in staffing happen, there should be someone in there checking it and no one came.And so, I labored. The Foley catheter came out when-- jeez, I think I was 5 centimeters dilated? I can’t remember specifically. That’s when they said, “Okay, we will start the Pitocin. We will keep you going.” I continued to laboring. I believe it was about 9:30 at nigh…

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164 Jessica's VBAC + PROM Feb 17, 2021

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Joining us today from Canada is our friend, Jessica. Determined to avoid another brutal Cesarean recovery, Jessica researched extensively and fought for her VBAC rights. When she experienced PROM for the second time, Jessica didn’t allow different opinions from different providers dictate what she knew she deserved. She refused a scheduled Cesarean, reminded providers that their hospital did in fact support VBAC induction, knew when her body needed an epidural, and got the VBAC of her dreams. Jessica’s preparation made all the difference in her outcome. We want that to be the case for you too!Topics discussed today include:How to know if all providers at a practice have the same viewsWhy you should ask open-ended questionsPROM: what it is and what to do if it happens to youAdditional linksHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for ParentsThe VBAC Link T-Shirt Shop3 Game-Changing Things to do When Your Water Breaks: The VBAC Link BlogEpisode sponsorThis episode is sponsored by our signature course, How to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for Parents. It is the most comprehensive VBAC preparation course in the world, perfectly packaged in an online, self-paced, video course. Together, Meagan and Julie have helped over 800 parents get the birth that they wanted, and we are ready to help you too. Head over to thevbaclink.com to find out more and sign up today.Sponsorship inquiriesInterested in sponsoring a The VBAC Link podcast? Find out more information here at advertisecast.com/TheVBACLink or email us at info@thevbaclink.com.Full transcriptNote: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar and to eliminate false starts and filler words. Meagan: Hello, hello, and welcome everyone. This is The VBAC Link with Julie and Meagan. We have a guest with you today from Canada. Her name is Jessica. She has an awesome story for you today. We were chitchatting a little bit before the episode began. We found out that she found us in the very beginning. It was right after her Cesarean, which is exciting to us because we want people to be able to find us during their journey of healing before they start preparing as well. So, that was really fun and exciting to hear. She has a fun story today. A cool highlight of her story is PROM. If you don’t know what PROM means, it means Premature Rupture of Membranes. That’s something that I actually had personally as well. But she was ruptured for quite a while. In fact, I think it was 40-- was it 48 hours? 40 hours?Jessica: I think 72. Yeah. (Inaudible)Meagan: 72! 72. But when-- (inaudible) before you started getting things going. Yeah. So, really cool because a lot of times people think that if their waters are broken for longer than 12 or 18 hours, even 24 hours, that it is need for an immediate Cesarean and it is not. I am excited to hear you share that part of your story. Review of the Week Meagan: As always, we have a Review of the Week, so we are going to dive into that review from Julie really quick before we get into this juicy story.Julie: Yeah, I love reviews. I think we say it every episode. I can’t speak enough about the reviews because I want to get a little vulnerable here for a minute. Running a podcast is not always sunshine and butterflies. We absolutely love doing it. We love talking to the people that share their stories with us and we love being able to share their stories with you. But these reviews really, really are the things that keep us going when it gets to be a little bit difficult for us. So, if you haven’t already, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google or Facebook. You just never know when you’re going to make our day with a glowing review.This review is from Apple Podcasts and it’s from futureballad. It’s called “VBAC Support at its Finest.” Just the title makes me smile. She says, “I absolutely love listening to these birth stories and I love how positive Julie and Meagan are! They give facts to go along with each story. They also include birth stories where the VBAC didn’t end up happening. It’s so important to acknowledge it doesn’t always work out. But, a woman of strength is someone who has become empowered by knowledge and uses that knowledge to advocate for herself no matter what the outcome is. I am going to VBAC like a boss in November when I birth our second son. I will be doing it knowing I have the support of The VBAC Link community.”That makes me so happy. Okay, “VBAC like a boss”-- that is a shirt. It’s in our shop at thevbaclink.com/bombfire. That shirt came from our friend, Emily, who shared her story with us a while back. She said-- there is a “TOLAC like a boss” or a “VBAC like a boss”. I love our little bonfire shirts. We have some new designs coming out from some of our most recent previous episodes.Also, I want to tell you about an episode that is coming out in the next two or three weeks. We are actually interviewing a few CBAC moms, so parents who tried for a VBAC but ended up in a repeat Cesarean. We are going to talk to five or six of them. They’re going to share with us their stories about what it is like coming out of a birth that didn’t end up like they wanted to, what it’s like to not to get your VBAC, and what they wish people would know about parents who tried so hard for a VBAC but didn’t get the birth that they wanted.It’s such a powerful episode and we are really excited to put it out to you. That review just reminded me of that. It’s important to us to share that things don’t always go the way you want. While a lot of birth is preparation and education and confidence, some of it is just dang luck.Meagan: Yeah.Julie: I mean, some of it is just the cards you are dealt and knowing how to deal with those things is important to us to share with you, so that’s why we do it.Meagan: Yeah, and I love how she said we even-- like you were just highlighting, we even share those stories. We have gotten a lot of messages and actually, I am trying to think of the word.Julie: How to say it nicely--Meagan: Really angry. I’m going to say really angry that we do share CBAC stories and it makes me sad when we receive these messages. Although we respect everyone’s opinions and feelings, we want to remind everybody that, just like Julie said, it doesn’t always turn out exactly how we wanted to. But guess what? Even sometimes those experiences-- like my second C-section was not what I wanted. I didn’t want to be on that table again, but it was a healing experience for me and a much more positive experience. I felt so much better walking out of that situation.These are learning experiences. They are growing experiences. They are healing experiences and even though-- yes, we do. We promote VBAC and we want you guys to know your options for VBAC. It is not fair for us to forget CBAC. It’s just not and it’s important. So, if you are angry, I want to say we are sorry, but we are not sorry at the same time. We respect your decision not to listen to those episodes, but it’s just so important to learn and hear.A lot of times when we are struggling, I know for me personally when I was struggling, I realized there was still a lot of processing that I needed to do and that’s why I was struggling. So, know that we are here for you and we are sorry if you are one of those angries, but we love you.Julie: One of those angries.Meagan: But we love you.Julie: We love you, no matter if you are angry, or happy, or sad, or excited. We love all of you. If you are looking for stories that are VBAC stories only, you simply have to look at the title. If it says, “So-and-so‘s VBAC”, it’s a VBAC story. If it says “So-and-so‘s CBAC” or “So-and-so’s Uterine Rupture”, then it is a CBAC or a uterine rupture story.And so, that’s an easy way to sift through them if you’re looking for certain advice.Meagan: We respect your decision not to listen to whatever ones.Julie: But we wish you would because it will really help you better prepare.Episode sponsorJulie: Do you want a VBAC but don’t know where to start? It’s easy to feel like we need to figure it all out on our own. That’s what we used to do, and it was the loneliest and most ineffective thing we have ever done. That’s why Meagan and I created our signature course, How to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for Parents, that you can find at thevbaclink.com. It is the most comprehensive VBAC preparation course in the world, perfectly packaged in an online, self-paced, video course. Together, Meagan and I have helped over 800 parents get the birth that they wanted, and we are ready to help you too. Head on over to thevbaclink.com to find out more and sign up today. That’s thevbaclink.com. See you there. Jessica’s storyJulie: We should probably stop talking about this. You can tell it’s been a while since we have recorded because we are really super chatty right now.Meagan: We are going to turn the time over to Jessica. Alright, let’s dive in. Ms. Jessica, would you like to start sharing your story and stop listening to us gab?Jessica: I mean, I am enjoying the conversation, but I only have so much time, so I will get started. I got pregnant with my C-section baby when I was 19. I really thought that I was invincible. I know a lot of teenagers have that mindset. You don’t really think that bad things can happen to you. I thought that I was going to have an all-natural, medication-free birth, and was preparing for that, and would tell my friends how excited I was to be planning this med-free birth. My aunt recommended that I went with midwives, so I found local midwives that I went with. Here in Canada, they are covered by a provincial health insurance, so that’s definitely a perk when you are a young mom being able to plan a home birth. So, that’s what we talked about. I wasn’t opposed to a hospital birth, but they were pushing home birth on me, so that was the plan if everything was going well. We would have a home birth with a baby and then if not, we would go to the hospital. But I didn’t think we would end up at the hospital because I thought everything would go as planned, being young and not understanding how births can be complicated.I was 39 weeks and four days pregnant when my water broke. My first thought was, “Oh, the baby is going to be here in 12 hours now. Everybody goes into labor when their water breaks.” But it didn’t happen. The midwives confirmed the water broke and they said, “Oh, just rest. Sleep it off.” Labor usually starts anywhere between 48 to 72 hours. Most people within 24 hours, but they said we could wait until Friday. And then, the next day we woke up. I had a new midwife on-call and she said, “Oh well, we should just go in and induce.” I was eager to meet my baby. I was tired of being pregnant and I didn’t know what an induction was or that there were risks with an induction. I just thought, “Okay, I will get some medication, and get it going, and the baby will be here in a couple of hours.” But, that wasn’t the case.I was 4 centimeters dilated when I showed up to the hospital, which they said was great, and that labor would probably be quick, and the baby would be here soon. But 12 hours after starting Pitocin, I was still only 4 centimeters. They suggested that we throw the natural birth plan out the window and get an epidural, but that vaginal birth was still possible. After getting the epidural, my baby started having non-reassuring heart rates and because of the lack of progression, they suggested a cesarean. I agreed, not knowing that there was anything else we could try to get me to dilate. I had been laying on my back for hours at this point. We didn’t try turning the epidural down. We didn’t even try a peanut ball. We just went straight for the OR. The surgery was three hours after they were concerned about the non-reassuring heart rate. So, looking back I am like, “Was it really that urgent?” They made it seem urgent, but I always question if maybe we could have tried more things. I didn’t know that there were things to try. I thought birth just happened and that you couldn’t really have any power to change that. My recovery was horrible. My incision didn’t close properly and it took three months before I was healed enough to function normally. I found that recovery really traumatizing and never wanted another surgery like that again.When I got pregnant 15 months later, my goal was VBAC all the way. I really didn’t want to end up on the table again, mostly because of the recovery and my fear of missing out on a summer with my toddler. I planned a home birth again. I was more adamant this time that it was going to be a home birth. I rented a pool this time. I made a whole binder filled with resources from The VBAC Link. I printed out stuff from ACOG and SOCG, which is a Canadian version of ACOG, and had all the documents I could about VBAC. I would bring it to the midwives because they were more cautious and on the medical side. They said a hospital birth might be a better choice for VBAC, but I was adamant that I wanted to be at home. They supported me with that decision, but then I was 40 weeks and I had been doing everything. Walking every day, The Miles Circuit, bouncing on my ball, drinking all the red raspberry leaf tea, everything I could to get my labor going and then my water broke again.I was in denial the first day. I didn’t even tell my husband. I kept it to myself. I was like, “This can’t be real.” My water can’t break before labor again because I knew that that wasn’t a good sign for me. Eventually, I did call my midwife and I let her know, but I told her my water had been broken significantly less time than it had because I didn’t want her to push induction. I didn’t want her to push a repeat Cesarean. So, she came. Confirmed that my waters had been broken and we agreed that the next day we would go to the hospital for a non-stress test. When we went there, we had a consultation with the OB who looked at me and said, “We have to do a C-section. There is no other option. If we do another induction, you are going to fail. Your body couldn’t birth your first baby.” I guess I had an ultrasound at some point in my other trimester and they were estimating that the baby was going to be in the 97th percentile.Meagan: Oh man.Jessica: Yeah. They were like, “This baby is too big. She is not going to--” or, we didn’t know it was a girl. But they said, “The baby is not going to fit. You need a C-section.” I said, “Well, do I have any other options?” They were like, “Well, we can’t force you to have a C-section, so you can go home. And so, we went home.”Meagan: Good for you. Good for you though.Jessica: The OB and the midwife weren’t that happy, but I said, “I will come back for NSTs every day until I go into labor. I’m not opposed to that,” but I didn’t want to agree to a C-section. The next morning, I woke up with a green tinge on the pad that was collecting amniotic fluid and I knew that wasn’t a good sign. So, I called the midwife and let her know. I guess they had been scheduling C-sections for me every day in case I agreed to one, so she was like, “We have an OR ready.”Meagan: Are you serious? They were just doing that behind your back?Jessica: Yeah. They were just preparing.Meagan: Interesting.Jessica: So they said, “You can show up at the hospital at 11:00 a.m. and the baby will be here by 2.” It was the day-- like, when I got pregnant, I was hoping that the baby would come that day. So, I was like, “Okay, I guess at least I got the birthday I wanted.” But in the car, I was crying to my husband saying, “I really don’t want to do surgery and I know that I can’t be pregnant longer with meconium or an infection. It’s not fair to the baby to put my birthing desires ahead of their safety.” But I said, “I will take tomorrow as the baby’s birthday if that means I can birth this baby vaginally. What happened was, we showed up at the hospital and it was a different OB on-call. He was the one that had done the big baby ultrasound and predict…

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163 What CBAC Moms Want You to Know Feb 10, 2021

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They invested so much of their time, energy, money, and hearts into their VBAC preparation. They craved immediate skin-to-skin, fought for their rights, and advocated for themselves. They labored hard, sacrificed for their babies, and felt the heartbreak that comes from an unplanned repeat Cesarean. They found healing, and they found each other.Now, these 7 Women of Strength want to share it all with you. How does it feel to have a CBAC?We invite you to sit in this space with us and find out. Additional linksAdvanced VBAC Doula Certification ProgramCBAC Support - The VBAC Link Community Facebook GroupEpisode sponsorThis episode is sponsored by our very own Advanced VBAC Doula Certification Program. It is the most comprehensive VBAC doula training in the world, perfectly packaged in an online, self-paced video course. Head over to thevbaclink.com to find out more information and sign up today.Sponsorship inquiriesAre you interested in sponsoring The VBAC Link podcast? Find out more information here at advertisecast.com/TheVBACLink or email us at info@thevbaclink.com.Full transcriptNote: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar and to eliminate false starts and filler words. Meagan: Alright, alright. Hello, everybody. This is The VBAC Link, and you are with myself, Meagan, and Julie. We have a special treat. You are with a whole bunch of other people today, and we are so excited that you are going to be able to hear from all of them. This episode is going to be powerful. It’s going to be emotional. It might be something that fuels fire and something that you totally relate to. I want to start the episode off by encouraging you to have an open mind and an open heart as you’re listening to these people’s stories. We are going to be talking about CBAC today. If you didn’t know, I had a CBAC. I wanted a VBAC with my second, and it ended up in a Cesarean. In so many ways, I feel like I can relate to all of these people. I can’t wait to hear their personal journeys, and feelings, and stories. We do have a special message. We are going to skip over our review of the week, and Julie is going to go over the differences between CBAC, VBAC, and scheduled C-section. Is that what you said?Julie: You got it.Meagan: Yes. Alright. So, we are going to get into that, and then we will get into these awesome stories. Episode sponsorJulie: Birth workers, listen up. Do you want to increase your knowledge of birth after a Cesarean? We created our Advanced VBAC Doula Certification Program just for you. It is the most comprehensive VBAC doula training in the world, perfectly packaged in an online, self-paced video course. This course is designed for birth workers who want to take their VBAC education to the next level so you can support parents who have had a Cesarean in the most effective ways. We have created a complete system, a step-by-step road map that shows exactly what you need to know in order to support parents birthing after a Cesarean. Head over to thevbaclink.com to find out more information and sign up today. That’s thevbaclink.com. See you there.Defining VBAC, CBAC, RCS, and ERCSJulie: Alright. I just cannot tell you how much I love this group of women that are in this conference right now. I am looking at our little recording screen. Everyone has different colored circles with their first initials in it, and it warms my heart because today-- I am going to share a little bit. Not too many personal details, but we had a Facebook group for all the people that were sharing their stories today just to relay information and make sure everyone is on the same page. So, I filled everyone in earlier this afternoon on the details, and I left to go about doing all my other things.But when I came back to Facebook Messenger, there were dozens and dozens of messages from these moms talking about what they were going to say on the show, and how their feelings are, and getting really vulnerable with each other, and honestly creating some of the strongest connections. I could literally feel the connections growing and strengthening just in the Facebook conversation. It was so-- I don’t even know the right word.Meagan: Powerful. It was really cool.Julie: So endearing. Yes, powerful. I love it. And so, I am looking forward to this episode. These are all moms who attempted a vaginal birth after a Cesarean but ended up with a C-section rather than a VBAC. Before we get into the stories, I want to go over some terminology because the acronyms are pretty nuts, right? You have VBAC, HBAC, CBAC, RCS, VBA2C, HBA2C, and sometimes it can be really confusing.Generally, VBAC is obviously vaginal birth after cesarean. RCS or ERCS refers to parents who choose to schedule a repeat Cesarean whether they want to have a Cesarean or whether it’s because of medical reasons. They may not want to do it, but they feel like it’s the best thing for them. And then CBAC stands for Cesarean birth after Cesarean, which is defined as parents who attempted a trial of labor, or labored after a Cesarean and ended up with a repeat Cesarean.We want to go through and identify the unique challenges that these parents face and the different struggles and emotions that they go through, and maybe bring some things up that you might not have considered as you prepare for your own VBAC. We encourage you to listen-- birth worker, parent, anybody, stay tuned because there is going to be some really, really good information here from some really, really strong and powerful women.PaigeAlright. I made Paige go first. Paige transcribes our podcast, so we can read them now.Meagan: Yay.Julie: Wherever you listen to podcasts, you can also read them too, and she is going to be transcribing this one. We absolutely love Paige. Paige was a member of our VBAC Link Community. Well, she still is. But, she suggested that we create a CBAC group just for parents who were in the community that ended up with a repeat Cesarean so that they could have some support and like-minded people.Paige is the founder of our CBAC community as well. We are so grateful for her for everything that she does. We are just going to talk about Cesarean and ask questions. Alright. So, Paige.What is something you wish people would know about your CBAC or just CBAC in general?Paige: I would say that first off, it wasn’t our fault. The reality is that some birth outcomes are just the luck of the draw in spite of the best prep. I can only speak for myself, but I know that I did everything under the sun and more to set myself up for a successful VBAC after two C-sections. I was going for my second VBAC attempt this time around. This was in June of last year.Some Cesareans truly are necessary. There’s a trend right now in the birth world to avoid a C-section at all costs, and it can feel really painful to moms that did everything to do just that but didn’t get it. So, it sounds really simple, but sometimes we need a reminder that Cesareans truly can be necessary.Meagan: That’s so true and not only necessary but a positive experience too, right? They don’t have to be scary and negative. Okay, so question number two is:What is one of the biggest emotions you are working through or had to work through post-birth?Paige: I narrowed it down to two, actually, which are confusion and embarrassment. I was mostly so confused how my intuition told me so strongly this would happen for me, and then it didn’t. Literally, I woke up from general anesthesia after my second birth, so my first CBAC, and I was so empowered from the labor experience. My first words were, “Can I do that again? I want to try that again”. From that moment on, that’s when I started preparing for my VBAC after two C-sections.I felt so good after every prenatal once I got pregnant. Every chiropractic appointment, every pelvic floor, I knew that I was on the right path. I had every reason to be confident it was going to happen. So now, learning to trust that those feelings were real, the journey with something that I needed in spite of the outcome and that my intuition didn’t lead me astray is something that I am still working on.And then, that level of embarrassment. One of the main reasons I was going for a VBAC was because I wanted to be a champion of VBAC. I wanted to be a walking example of empowered birth. With my first pregnancy and birth, I was so afraid of birth in general. I literally did not think I would survive. So, I wanted to be the success story of going from complete fear to complete confidence and then showing women that this was what we were made to do. I feel like I still came a long way in how confident I was, and how much I have grown, and how strong I am now. But now, with my outcome, it’s tempting to feel like my story makes people afraid to go for a VBAC instead of feeling inspired to do it. But, I still believe in VBAC. I am still so passionate about it. I love it, and I will always long for one.Julie: Yeah. That is some really real stuff. I think it is really important. I think we will probably talk a lot about this during the episode where people get told, “Oh, at least you have a healthy baby,” or, “Aren’t you so grateful for your Cesarean? It saved your life.” I think it’s really important to recognize that there are so many emotions surrounding this, but also-- also, we are grateful that we have a happy, healthy baby and mom. Sometimes, people don’t consider that mental health comes into play when we talk about the health of baby and mom. Sometimes babies aren’t healthy, and sometimes moms aren’t healthy. I’m glad you talked about that. Thanks. The next thing: What is something positive or uplifting you have found in your story, or have you even gotten to that point yet?Paige: Julie, you touched on this a little bit, but The VBAC Link CBAC Support Group has been the highlight and the greatest source of healing for me, honestly, this time around. I have found women that I know needed to come into my life during this time, and a few of them are on the episode today. It’s so fun to be able to talk to them and see them on here. I just love you all, and I am so grateful for each of you.Especially during COVID, when it’s very isolating, it’s a very difficult time to be going through postpartum. These women helped me feel like I had a tribe like I was seen and understood. This group-- it wasn’t me. It was a joint effort. Julie and Meagan, you don’t know that. But, I was messaging some other women personally, and we talked about how we felt forgotten. We talked about how we wanted to have a space. I still personally message some of these women just to check in on how they’re doing. It meant everything to me to have these women checking in on me during some really dark and lonely days right after my birth because they were going through it too. And I typically stay away from sharing too much on social media, but this CBAC group is such a safe place.It was also really healing to know that you, Julie and Meagan, were both so supportive of creating this group because throughout my pregnancy, you two were some of my biggest mentors. When I got my CBAC, there was this feeling of, “I let them down,” which I know is not true, and obviously, you had no idea who I even was, but seeing the way that you are champions of not just VBAC, but empowered birth and CBAC included in that, just means everything.Meagan: Aw, thank you.Julie: Aw, well, we are so grateful for you. Honestly, when you brought up the group, I texted it to Meagan and our admin, Sarah, and I am like, “Why have we not done that yet?”Meagan: Yeah.Julie: it was an instant “yes” from everybody. We created it, I think, the exact same day. We are really excited to have a space for you because I don’t even understand what you are going through. I know I have seen it with my clients. I obviously hear stories and we see your conversations in the group, but Meagan can relate a little bit more because she had a second Cesarean after trying for VBAC. But, being able to just be a silent lurker, not to sound creepy or anything, in the group really helps me understand better where CBAC moms are coming from. It helps me understand a little bit better how to approach them. And so, I just want to thank everybody, not only on this call but in the group for being there and being in that space. It really is such a supportive space, so thanks.Paige: Yeah.Meagan: Yeah, when I didn’t get my VBAC, I was in the group that caused me a lot of issues emotionally at the timeJulie: A different group, not our group.Meagan: Not our group, but a different group back in the day. I mean, it’s still around. But, I remember posting in there that I did not get my VBAC and I remember pretty much in a way being told, “I told you so. Why were you so stupid for trying in the first place?” And so, when you said, “We want a place for us. We feel like there’s no place for us,” I remember leaving every VBAC group. Every single one, and unsubscribing to everything VBAC because I couldn’t be in that space. I couldn’t hear it. I couldn’t be there. I was sick of the, “I told you so‘s.”Like Julie said, when this was proposed, it was a no-brainer and a, “Where the heck have we been?” type of a thing. A moment of-- why didn’t we even think of this? So, so, so grateful for you. Last but not least, I know we have got lots of amazing people to share. Is there anything else that you would like to share or that you feel like people need to know?Paige: I just want to reiterate how strong these women are, how resilient they are. Not by choice, but because they have to be. There is an extra level of courage and deeper strength that we have to tap into to not get the birth outcome that you want not only once, but often multiple times in some cases.But for women who are prepping for their VBAC right now, I want to advise you to not be afraid, especially listening to this episode. We don’t want you to be afraid of a CBAC or a VBAC in general. I want to say, fight for it. Invest your heart in it. Go 100% all-in if that’s what your tuition is telling you to do. Follow that because the chances really are that you will get it. The odds are literally in your favor.And if you don’t get it, if the doctors label you a “failed TOLAC”, we are here. Now that this group is made, we are here for you. We will hold the space for you. We will catch you and you are never a failure to us. You will be okay. You might not feel it and it might take some time, but I promise that you will be okay.Julie: Me and Meagan are over here texting each other about how much we love you.Paige: Oh my gosh. I love you guys. It’s mutual, very much so.Julie: Before we go on to our next person, who is Kristian, I want to touch on something that I actually forgot to mention at the beginning.Most of preparing for birth is getting educated, having the right provider, having the right support team, knowing all your options, etc., etc., etc. But there is a part of it that is just pure, freaking luck. I have seen it myself with my own clients. Sometimes you can do everything and you can work so hard, and you just get dealt a really rough hand and end up in a repeat Cesarean. But I have also seen clients who-- how do I say this? They don’t work as hard or care as much into putting the effort in, and they get lucky and they have their VBAC. Sometimes that is a really hard thing to process, even as a doula. Even as a doula, I sometimes have a really hard time processing, “Why did this birth go that way but that birth went this way?”I know I have talked to Meagan about this several times and I know some of you are going to talk about this, but it’s really hard when you have worked so hard and get dealt a bad hand, and get that bad luck on your side. I think that what Paige touched on is exactly important, is that sometimes it’s just bad luck. That’s all it is. There is no one to blame and it’s nobody’s fault. It’s just bad luck.Alright, next up, Kristian.KristianMeagan: Kristian!Krist…

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162 Harmony and Kimberly + Doula Support Feb 03, 2021

Show notes

In a VBAC Link podcast first, we are joined by both a parent and her doula to share an inspiring VBAC story with us. Harmony, a VBAC mom, talks about her journey to better health, trusting her intuition to feel confident with an out-of-hospital birth setting, and how crucial it was to have a rock-solid support system. Kimberly, one of our VBAC Certified Doulas, chimes in to share her unique perspective on Harmony’s birth. Their sweet friendship shows us just how special the bond can become between you and your doula. Kimberly says to Harmony, “Stories like yours are exactly why I am passionate about VBAC. I was honored to get to be a part of your experience.” Additional links How to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for Parents Advanced VBAC Doula Certification Program Find a VBAC Link Certified Doula Kimberly’s Website: Dulce Birthing Services Episode sponsor This episode is sponsored by our signature course, How to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for Parents. It is the most comprehensive VBAC preparation course in the world, perfectly packaged in an online, self-paced, video course. Together, Meagan and Julie have helped over 800 parents get the birth that they wanted, and we are ready to help you too. Head over to thevbaclink.com to find out more and sign up today. Sponsorship inquiries Interested in sponsoring a The VBAC Link podcast? Find out more information here at advertisecast.com/TheVBACLink or email us at info@thevbaclink.com. Full transcript Note: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar and to eliminate false starts and filler words. Meagan: Happy Wednesday, everybody. You are listening to The VBAC Link podcast and as always, we are excited to be with you today. Today, we have something special for you. We have actually never done this before. Today is going to be so fun to hear the stories from both sides. We have both a parent and her doula with you today. They are going to share a VBAC story. We have Harmony and Kimberly. Harmony is the mom and Kimberly is the doula. She had a VBAC just six weeks ago, so we are so excited to hear her story. As always, we have a Review of the Week before we dive right in. I will turn the time over to Julie. Review of the Week Julie: I am really, really, really excited about the story too. Kimberly has been on our podcast a couple of times. She is on our Doulas Tell All episode, and she shared her VBAC after four C-sections story, so if you want, you can just go back to the search bar, search for Kimberly, and her story will come up as well. I am really excited to have a doula-parent duo on as well. We are so grateful for them. Harmony and Kimberly are from Texas-- just outside of Austin, Texas it looks like. I am going to read a Review of the Week. This review is from angelle.boyd on Apple Podcasts and the title of her review-- it’s really long but it’s cute. She says “Thank you, ladies! Best podcast to help prepare for a VBAC and an amazing birthing experience.” She goes on to say, “First off, just had my successful unmedicated VBAC at the hospital in June all thanks to this podcast and you wonderful ladies. During my TOLAC, I continued to think of all the amazing stories I listened to on this podcast to get me through labor. Shouting out loud during labor, “I am a woman of strength and my body knows what it is doing,” was so empowering! I started listening to this podcast and could not stop. Each episode has something that can contribute and help women during their birth journey. I love how encouraging each episode is and that it goes through all types of scenarios that can happen during birth, regardless of trying for a VBAC. This can help better prepare any woman for all types of outcomes because let’s face it, giving birth is unpredictable! So thankful for listening to all the suggested tips to having a VBAC. I actually did every single one of them and happily had an amazing VBAC. Can’t thank you, ladies, enough, and hope this continues to help change the way our society sees birth! Yes, to women of strength! We got this!” Boom. I love that review. That was exciting. Congratulations, angelle.boyd on your VBAC. We are so happy for you. Now, without further ado, let’s get to the story because we have a VBAC Trained Doula and a parent who had a VBAC. We are ready to rock and roll. Episode sponsor Julie: Do you want a VBAC but don’t know where to start? It’s easy to feel like we need to figure it all out on our own. That’s what we used to do, and it was the loneliest and most ineffective thing we have ever done. That’s why Meagan and I created our signature course, How to VBAC: The Ultimate Preparation Course for Parents, which you can find at thevbaclink.com. It is the most comprehensive VBAC preparation course in the world, perfectly packaged in an online, self-paced, video course. Together, Meagan and I have helped over 800 parents get the birth that they wanted, and we are ready to help you too. Head on over to thevbaclink.com to find out more and sign up today. That’s thevbaclink.com. See you there. Harmony’s story Meagan: Let’s get into the story. So, so excited. I am excited to see how this flows, and how you guys chime in, and your different perspectives. I am so excited. Let’s turn the time over to you fine ladies. Kimberly: Hi, Harmony. Harmony: Hey, Kim. We haven’t seen each other since the birth, but we are planning to this Friday actually. So, this is kind of cool. Yeah, the same goes for me that if you remember something that I don’t because it was a little blurry at points for me understandably, please, you can chime in whenever. Well, I guess I will just start by saying that I got pregnant with my daughter in 2015. My husband and I had been married for a couple of years. Sometime during that first couple of years, I actually was diagnosed with PCOS by my doctor. Meagan: Which is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Harmony: Yeah. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I remember coming home and telling my husband because I was pretty upset. I really wanted to have a baby. I just was worried about the fertility issues with that. We waited. I think it was in 2015 that we started trying to get pregnant. We had actually moved to Tulsa temporarily-- didn’t know it was temporarily. We are back in Texas now. We had been there for about a year, year and a half and started trying to get pregnant. I got pregnant right away. That in and of itself was huge for somebody with PCOS. I went through that pregnancy and had some blood pressure and blood sugar issues. The blood pressure issue was why I got induced. My doctor was wonderful. He basically just tried to get me to the very end before he did any type of intervention. I just wanted to say that up front, that I know my experience is a little bit different because my doctor-- his wife actually had a VBAC. He made a point to tell me that his C-section rate was really low. He was well-connected with the midwives in the area and so I knew I was in good hands with my pregnancy and that he wasn’t going to push me to be induced or have a C-section unless that was the option for us. I reached the end of my pregnancy and my blood pressure just kept increasing. He said, “Well, I think what we should probably go ahead and do is induce you,” because he checked me. I had asked him to check me. I should probably say that as well. He didn’t do routine cervical checks. I asked him to check me that Friday and he said, “Okay.” I think I was dilated .5-1 centimeters, so not a ton. He said, “Since your blood pressure is going up, I’d like to go ahead and induce you.” I shared with him that I was concerned about that because I didn’t want to have a C-section if I could help it. He said, “I totally understand that.” He said, “I just want to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with you if you end up in a C-section. I am still going to make sure she is on your chest immediately.” He really tried to encourage me. He said, “I don’t see it going that way, but if it does, I want you to know I will make sure that all of that bonding happens.” I went to the induction feeling like, “Well, this is the option.” I think they used Cervidil. Is that a common thing that is used usually? The night before, they inserted that. Meagan: Yeah, Cervidil. It’s a pill. Harmony: Okay, yeah. That’s what it was, and then I had some cramping. My husband and I had been watching Lost on TV or on Netflix. So, we started watching that. He stayed there with me, but I couldn’t get comfortable. I was feeling crampy and I couldn’t sleep very well. By the next day, I did start to have some contractions after they gave me a little bit of Pitocin. My daughter’s heart rate immediately dropped after having the Pitocin. My doctor was in a delivery and I remember the nurses rushing in, turning me over on my side, putting oxygen on me. It was very scary. Unfortunately, he wasn’t there at the moment, so I didn’t have that reassuring comfort from him that, “You are going to be okay. We are going to figure this out,” but he got there as soon as he could and explained to me what was going on, that she wasn’t really responding very well to the Pitocin. We talked about trying some other interventions and he said, “I can insert a Foley bulb, and take you off of the Pitocin, and see if we can manually get you to dilate that way.” That’s what I decided to do. He was actually right in the middle of checking my cervix when we talked about that. I always tell this because it makes me laugh, looking back. He’s really funny. He said, “Okay. Well, I am going to go have them get the Foley bulb. I am just not going to take my hand out at this point,” because he knew it was really painful for me every time he had to do that. The nurses went to go get the Foley bulb and when they left he said to me, “So, how’s it going?” trying to make it not so awkward because he was literally just sitting there with his hand in my vagina. But that’s part of what I loved about him, was that it wasn’t-- he really respected me and he was trying to make it as easy as he could for me. So, he inserted the Foley bulb and I think I dilated. I still was having contractions even after they dropped it down for me. This is where it gets a little blurry for me because I don’t remember if I still had a little bit of Pitocin. Her heart rate dropped two more times after that and it was scary for me. That was probably, aside from-- the C-section wasn’t really that scary for me. It was hearing her heart rate slow down that really terrified me. So, after that third time that her heart rate dropped, he came in and sat down on the bed beside me and he said, “Look. I know neither one of us wanted it to go this way, but this is what is happening at this point.” He said, “I don’t really want to rush you in an emergency where we can’t control how she is born and have her there on your chest. So I think at this point, the best thing to do is go ahead and do the C-section.” I said to him, “Yes.” At that point, I was like, “Yes, please. I can’t hear her heart rate drop one more time.” They wheeled me in there and they made sure I was all set up. They were very respectful. I know in the stories that I have heard since my C-section, I realize how fortunate and blessed I was to have the doctor that I had, and have the nurses, and have the anesthesiologist that I had because there are some pretty horrible C-section stories. They got me all set up and pretty soon, he had her out and put her on my chest. It wasn’t what I saw for my birth, but it was our story and I was able to hold her. I was so exhausted at that point from all the medication and just the birth itself. With the hormones, I was shaking and everything like that. I was afraid I was going to drop her. I remember saying to the neonatal nurse, “I want to hold her, but I am afraid I’m going to drop her.” She was like, “You’re not going to drop her. We are right here. You can hold her.” Again, they were really supportive. So, of course, a C-section recovery isn’t fun. I had to basically recover from a major surgery while learning to become a mom for the first time. She ended up having to go to the NICU the next day because she had tachypnea, which is rapid breathing directly caused from the C-section because she didn’t go through my birth canal. That wasn’t fun either because I had to be separated from my baby there in the hospital. We eventually got home and moved on with life. I knew that-- I remember my doctor coming into the hospital room, I think it was the next day or day after, checking on me, and I immediately knew when I was there in the hospital that I was going to have a VBAC the next time I had a baby. I was already planning it. I said to him, “So, when can I get pregnant again?” I could tell in his face he was just like, “I can’t believe you are asking me that right now after having just had a C-section.” But I was already looking forward to the VBAC because I knew that we had wanted to have more kids. I thought we would get pregnant sooner, but time passed quickly it feels like. My daughter was-- I think she had just turned four and we decided, “Okay, let’s go ahead and start trying for another baby.” We did. I think I got pregnant pretty much in the same amount of time that was with my daughter. I have been very blessed to get pregnant really fast, like I said, especially even with PCOS. Oh sorry-- I should back up and say that the time in between that pregnancy, I really looked at why I had ended up in that C-section. Sometimes, there is not an explanation and sometimes it just happens. For me, I knew that it was my blood pressure that had caused me to have to be induced. I knew that for my own body, when I carry more weight, my blood pressure-- it doesn’t take long before my body goes, “Whoa, whoa. Danger,” and my blood pressure shoots up. My body, I thought, just couldn’t handle that additional weight from the pregnancy. I decided to lose 50 pounds. That was actually my goal. I had already lost the 25 that I gained with my daughter. Meagan: Nice work. That’s awesome. Harmony: Thanks. Yeah, that’s the most weight I have ever lost. I have a hard time losing it if it is just because I want to look better. It was more like-- it was the biggest motivator I ever had, was having a vaginal birth. I really felt like in my heart that if I could get to a better way that it would just be less pressure on my body. I walked and I actually just tried to let it come off easily. I didn’t do any crash dieting or anything like that. I think it took about a year. I had gone and seen the birth center that I was interested in. So, I was planning all this stuff all along even though I wasn’t even pregnant yet. I wanted it all lined up so that when I got pregnant I would know what my plan was. During that time, I lost that weight and I would walk. While I was walking, I was listening to The VBAC Link podcast, actually, every single day that I would walk. I did that to normalize in my mind the VBAC experience. I wanted to feel like women are having this all the time. In the medical world, it’s talked about as being super risky and scary, but as I looked at the data and the information, I knew that wasn’t true. I tried to normalize all of this in my head and make it not so scary for myself. It turned out that quite a few women in my life-- as I talked about that I was going to try for this VBAC-- had VBACs themselves. It was funny how-- I am a believer and a Christian. It was odd to me how in my life I found that around me there were about four or five women that were sprinkled around me that had VBACs and even more made me feel like, “Yes. This is okay for me. This is safe and women are doing it. It just encouraged me even more.” I visited a birth center after I got pregnant here in Texas-- Central Texas Birth Center in Georgetown. It’s about 35 minutes from me. I went in with my mom originally and when I walked out, I said, “I feel like I’m going to give birth here.” I…

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