The Topical

Latest Episodes:

God In Critical Condition Feb 20, 2020

Show notes

The Lord God, Maker of Heaven and Earth, was rushed into emergency surgery after accidentally shooting Himself while cleaning His gun. Hear what doctors have to say about His chances of recovery.

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Australian Officials Touting Bushfire As Huge Success Feb 19, 2020

Show notes

Parliament officials in Canberra are celebrating today, touting the success of their new wildfire introduction program that is designed to control the country’s pestering koala population.

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Pope Francis: ‘Nobody Out-Molests The Catholic Church’ Feb 18, 2020

Show notes

A major announcement in Vatican City as Pope Francis insists that Catholic priests around the world are not about to be out-molested by some goddamned Boy Scouts.

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Tyson Foods Orders Trump To Cease And Desist Feb 17, 2020

Show notes

The Trump campaign received a cease-and-desist letter this morning from Tyson Foods demanding that the president stop playing their slaughterhouse recordings at his rallies.

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Love Sounds With Martha Saunders: How I Learned To Love Valentine’s Day After A Nude Man In A Diaper Killed My Father With A Bow And Arrow Feb 14, 2020

Show notes

On a special Valentine’s Day edition of The Topical, join the host of OPR's Love Sounds, Martha Saunders, as she explores questions about sex, love, and a lot of other topics you would probably prefer to keep private.

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Tinder Swipes Right On Big Changes Feb 13, 2020

Show notes

The popular dating app Tinder announced today that it will no longer match users exclusively with distant relatives.

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FBI Warns Against American Dream Scam Feb 12, 2020

Show notes

It promises prosperity and success in exchange for nothing more than a lifetime of hard work and determination. Hear how authorities suggest people protect themselves from this growing scam.

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Department Of Evil: ‘All Of You Must Die’ Feb 11, 2020

Show notes

The Department of Evil issued a strong and clear message today confirming that every resident of the United States must die. But what does it mean for Americans and their mortality?

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Oscars Ceremony Ruined Feb 10, 2020

Show notes

Last night’s Academy Awards were marred by what might be the Oscars’ worst gaffe in years. Hear how a leaky pipe in the Dolby Theater almost shut down the ceremony for good, and about the superintendent who stepped in to make it all much worse.

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A Shocking Scene Of Rebellion Feb 07, 2020

Show notes

Onlookers were stunned in Lansing, MI after witnessing a rebellious young man who had the audacity to dye his hair blue.

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