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    Comedy

    The Topical

    The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It’s using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.

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    Copyright: © The Onion

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    Latest Episodes:
    CDC Warns Public Of Mutating Coronavirus Mar 05, 2020
    Show notes

    New data show that the virus Covid-19 has become so advanced that it could now mutate into anything or anyone, even someone you trust.

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    Catholic Leaders Transfer Most Alluring Children To Another Church Mar 04, 2020
    Show notes

    Vatican officials are under fire for what many are calling their ineffectual, soft-handed response to charges of mass sexual abuse within the Catholic church. Will transferring the most alluring Catholic children to another church be enough?

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    White House Condemns 2020 Election As Partisan Witch Hunt Mar 03, 2020
    Show notes

    On this Super Tuesday, Democrats in a number of key states are headed to the polls, but Republicans are outraged. Hear why many on the right are calling the 2020 election nothing more than a partisan witch hunt aimed at unseating the president.

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    DNC Commits To Younger-Looking Leadership With New Rejuvenating Skincare Routine Mar 02, 2020
    Show notes

    Democratic leaders hope to bring in fresh, butter-soft, blemish-free appearances to the party with a new $40 million pledge toward rejuvenating skin care products.

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    Pentagon Awards Oscar Mayer $102 Million Contract For New Military-Grade Hot Dog Feb 28, 2020
    Show notes

    This puppy’s got all the fixins, too. We’re talking mustard, relish, even hot peppers. But will this all-beef dog be the most advanced encased meat on the battlefield or just another classic example of government waste?

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    CBS Inks Deal For 30-Episode Bloomberg Ad Feb 27, 2020
    Show notes

    Hear why CBS studio executives are calling the decision to order up a full series of long-form ads from the Bloomberg campaign a “no-brainer.”

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    CDC Warns Against Potential Health Risks Of Flavored Gun Barrels Feb 26, 2020
    Show notes

    It’s the hottest new trend among our nation’s teens, but could it be deadly?

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    Yosemite On Lockdown After Bear Spotted In Park Feb 25, 2020
    Show notes

    The National Park Service announced that Yosemite National Park will be closed indefinitely after startled witnesses reportedly spotted a bear on the grounds.A really big bear, too.

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    Federal Government Reinstitutes Practice Of Spanking Criminals As Punishment Feb 24, 2020
    Show notes

    Human rights activists are up in arms after the DOJ announced it would be resuming federal punishments, making it legal to sentence the country’s most naughty felons to a good, hard spanking.

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    Anti-Cyberbullying Campaign Encourages Kids To Get Out There And Do It In Person Feb 21, 2020
    Show notes

    It’s the latest attempt to cut down on online abuse among middle and high schoolers. But will it work?

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