The Topical

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Comedy
**The Topical**

The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It’s using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.

Latest Episodes:

Dark, Ominous Storm Clouds Atop Mount Money Indicate Recession Could Be Near Mar 19, 2020

Show notes

But what do these black, billowing clouds covering the mountain’s foothills mean for your wallet?

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Marina Abramović Stolen In Daring Performance Art Heist Mar 18, 2020

Show notes

Hear how thieves were able steal the prized performance artist from the Museum of Modern Art, and what the NYPD is doing to catch them.

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Fiat Recalls More Than 10,000 Cars For Not Looking Small And Weird Enough Mar 17, 2020

Show notes

The Italian car manufacturer announced the recall of their new C-SUV, citing issues that range from it not having funny little mirrors to drivers not bumping their head when they get inside.

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Outbreaks In Victorian England Confirm Coronavirus Capable Of Spreading Through Time Mar 16, 2020

Show notes

The World Health Organization is issuing new warnings today following reports that an 8-year-old chimney sweep in 1860s London has tested positive for Covid-19.

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An Alarming Crime Scene In New England Mar 13, 2020

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What we now know about the crime scene in Portland, ME that has all the different kinds of cops.

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Green Giant Takes A Stand Against Gun Violence Mar 12, 2020

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The vegetable packaging company Green Giant announced this week that they are rolling out a new program where gun owners can trade in their firearms for green beans.

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Son-Of-A-Bitch Mouse Solves Maze Researchers Spent Months Building Mar 11, 2020

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Scientists are calling it perhaps the biggest setback ever in the field of neuroscience. Hear why researchers believe one mouse, who’s a real little bastard, may be to blame.

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Is Bernie Sanders Too Old To Be The Next James Bond? Mar 10, 2020

Show notes

A new poll shows the majority of Americans believe the senator’s age could impede him from carrying out the duties of MI6’s most daring spy.

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Dow Rallies After It Turns Out Trader Who Jumped Out Window Was Merely Having Marital Problems Mar 09, 2020

Show notes

Good news on Wall Street today as the Dow recovers following a big scare. Hear how markets surged after it was revealed the stock trader who jumped out of a high rise window only did it because his wife left him.

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FAA Restricts Passenger Jets To Flying No More Than 15 Feet Above Ground Mar 06, 2020

Show notes

New FAA regulations announced today are looking to make the skies a little safer. But can anything truly save us from those giant metal death traps hurling through the air?

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