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The Power Couple Podcast — Health
The Power Couple Podcast

The dating and relationship podcast that dives deep into the inside secrets of high performance relationships with love educators, relationship coaches and real life couple, Kelsey Grant and Jamie Rea. We’re obsessed with true love and what makes healthy relationships tick, while also being big fans of providing access to the fundamental relational education all power couple’s rooted in true love embody. We like to think of it like this, if an alien from mars landed on earth and wanted a healthy romantic partnership on planet earth and needed the essential relational education how-to playbook, this podcast would be the place for them to learn how to date, build and maintain epic partnership and if by chance it didn’t work out how to end with grace. So if you’re trying to figure out how to have a relationship on planet earth, are craving the essentials of relationship education and want to have a blast doing it- you’ve come to the right place. We’re happy you’re here. Now on with the love show…
K&J

Latest Episodes:

Dating + Relationship Community Q/A with Kelsey Oct 24, 2019

Show notes

In this special community Q/A dating and relationship episode, Kelsey answers some of the community questions submitted. There were so many amazing ones, we couldn't get through all of them.
All the questions we didn't get to will be answered in upcoming social media posts on Kelsey's Instagram page (@radicalselflove), our after show Facebook group, or in our newsletter, links are below for you!
Some of the topics included in this episode are:
• What it means when a partner asks for "space" and what to do about it.
• The deal with dating apps
• When your partner is insecure about your past (or if you're insecure about theirs, what is happening and how to navigate that as a united front).
• How much time is healthy to spend apart when you're in a relationship.
• Dating while feeling the pressure of the "biological clock"
• How to set up a partner to support you if you're dealing with PTSD from a past relational trauma
• The avoidant anxious dance in dating, how to unhook from the toxic tango.
• How to get a partner to open up.
• Dating, age differences, what is appropriate?
• How to deal with having feelings for multiple people?
Mentioned in the episode:
- Apply for Kelsey's Year of Love Mastery Program HERE
- Join the email list HERE (Early access to the Love Legends Membership will be shared exclusively to our newsletter posse).
- Get in on the after-show Facebook group HERE (be sure to answer the preliminary questions when prompted to receive access to the love club)

Attachment Attack: Is Your Attachment Wiring Sabotaging Your Love Life? Sep 26, 2019

Show notes

In this episode we cover:
• The difference between your intuition and fear.
• Some signs to consider when its actually misaligned vs aligned, if you're deciding whether to stay or to go in a relationship.
• What an attachment attack feels like in the body and how to identify when you've been taken over by those inner child adaptations.
• What really happens on a subconscious level when we make next level commitments in life and love (aka why shit hits the fan after you make a new level commitment ie. being exclusive, getting engaged, getting married, having a kid etc.
• The things we refuse to deal with in the wake of a relationship ending we'll meet again in a future relationship, how to discern if the breakup is based on a power struggle you CAN work with to break through this material or a breakup when you've gone as far as you can go.
• How to work with your attachment system so you're not completely taken over by an attachment attack.
• How to generate more security within yourself and within a relationship.
Ready to meet more Love Legends? Join our aftershow group: The Legendary Love Club HERE

Attachment Styles 101 W/ Silvy Khoucasian Sep 19, 2019

Show notes

We're thrilled to bring our friend Silvy to the show today to grace all of you Love Legends with her incredible wisdom, insight and knowledge on all things attachment theory.
Silvy is a relationship coach who specializes in attachment theory work and boundaries. FRIENDS....she's THE BEST.
We love her so much and were so honoured to have this time to showcase her brilliance, expertise and give you all a backstage pass to one of our favourite relationship educators, coaches and expert in this relational field.
*Some of our favourite moments from this interview:
• When your attachment system is stressed how that can play out and impact your relationship and relating experiences
• Attachment flair ups can trick us into pre-maturely leaving a good relationship (and how to work with this so you don't)
• How to deal if you or your partner's attachment styles activates an unconscious desire to threaten the relationship
• The connection old childhood wounds/memories play in our attachment bonds in relationships
• Tracking your common denominator patterns
• Our attachment wounds are a result of relationship and so they are healed in the container of relationship (friendship counts too)
• There is only a certain degree of self-awareness we can cultivate on our own and when in the container of relationship we get the opportunity to integrate and expand that awareness
Silvy Khoucasian earned her Master’s Degree in Psychology from the MFT program at Phillips Graduate Institute, and her bachelor’s degree in Sociology from the University of California, Santa Barbara. She has coached hundreds of people through Self-Discovery, Transformational, and Leadership programs. Her approach leaves her coaching clients feeling empowered, accountable, and ready to create meaningful changes in their lives.
Connect with Silvy:
Her website HERE
Instagram HERE
Facebook HERE
Ready to join our Legendary Love Club...aka our aftershow community hangout?
Yes? Yes! Get into the group HERE

You're Only As Secure As The One You're With: Working With Attachment Styles in Love Sep 12, 2019

Show notes

Every relationship pairing will bring forward different aspects of our attachment wiring, and we're setting you up to explore each unique relational attachment pairing and work with it effectively.

In this episode:

• Attachment wiring is fluid and each new pairing will activate different aspects of your attachment style.
• In a poor attachment pairing we see both people's wiring combining in a way where it is difficult to advocate for their personal needs and boundaries.
• We share our histories with different past partners and how it influenced our attachment activations.
• We explore our personal relationship and the primary attachment wiring we experience with one another.
• We out our secondary attachment wiring that comes out in times of extreme stress and what triggers our attachment flare ups.
• How to understand your partners attachment needs in a way that is relationally supporting AND creates space for your attachment needs to be tended to as well.
• Creating an attachment needs gameplan as a couple.

• This week's MOVIE CLUB/STORY TIME: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Ready to join the FREE Legendary Love Club? aka our Podcast Afterparty Hangout group?

We'll be doing weekly movie clubs to go along with the "Story Time" movie in each weekly episode + exclusive discussions about the monthly episodes + regular community Q/A's, opportunities to make connections with fellow poddies, AKA make aligned friends, meet amazing humans who not only are listening to this work too but VALUE growth and healthy relationships.... ;) and so much more...all for FREE.

Read to join the community? Get in on that goodness HERE

Attachment + Pacing: Come Here, Go Away, I Don’t Know Sep 05, 2019

Show notes

This month we're exploring the very trendy and hot topic of attachment styles. You know the patterns you unconsciously have related to the way you bond emotionally within romantic relationships.

A lot of dating and relating stresses can be connected to our attachment system going haywire and not having the tools and understanding to WORK WITH this part of ourselves.

Here's the thing, your attachment wiring isn't going anywhere. You can't will it away. You can't hide it. You can't out run it. But you can create intimacy with it. Doing so helps you feel much more grounded in dating, aligned within yourself and connected to make the best relational (and attachment) choice possible.

**In this episode we cover: **

• The basics of the four attachment styles in our signature comedic style.
• How each style is instictively pulled to pace in the dating phase.
• Why the Fantasy Bond is fucking up your dating, pacing and vetting and how to reign that sabotour in.
• Taking inventory on ourselves in the most HONEST way- discerning the way you WANT to act vs the way you ACTUALLY act when it comes to your dating life.
• Why humility and truth telling on yourself soothes and nourishes your attachment systems needs AND sets you up to date more congruently.
• Our NEW PODCAST AFTERPARTY POSSE ANNOUNCEMENT
• This week's MOVIE CLUB/STORY TIME: Runaway Bride

**Mentioned in this episode: **

To take the best attachment quiz (in our humble opinion) click HERE

Ready to join the FREE Legendary Love Club? aka our Podcast Afterparty Hangout group?

We'll be doing weekly movie clubs to go along with the "Story Time" movie in each weekly episode + exclusive discussions about the monthly episodes + regular community Q/A's, opportunities to make connections with fellow poddies, AKA make aligned friends, meet amazing humans who not only are listening to this work too but VALUE growth and healthy relationships.... ;) and so much more...all for FREE.

Read to join the community? Get in on that goodness HERE

Are Shit Goggles The Cause of Your Breakup? Aug 29, 2019

Show notes

Breakups obviously are never fun to navigate, but what if there was a HUGE piece of preventative relational medicine that so many people miss?

Well good news, there is.

It's called owning how you co-create your relational shit goggles. In this very open and vulnerable episode we "out" our shadow material and share with you the core negative images we hold about one another and how that gasp actually creates more rapport and closeness.

Not a clue what we're on about?

Well tune in for these nuggets:

• The core negative image you hold of your partner, becomes the thing you're combating most.
• When we exaggerate the negative aspects of a partner it's a way to create psychological and emotional distance (usually because we could use some sprucing up of our boundaries).
• If we can't own up to the ways in which we're difficult, the ways we're difficult will own us (and sabotage our relationship).
• The top ways Jamie is difficult.
• The top ways Kelsey is difficult.
• Jamie's core negative image of Kelsey
• Kelsey's core negative image of Jamie.
• How knowing and outing these pieces has and does impact our relationship.
• How reparenting helps to calm down the core negative image, take responsibility for our annoying and difficult aspects, and ground into a much more emotionally intimate space within the relationship container.

If you're currently struggling with a breakup, and need guided support through the process, you can access our Heal Your Heartbreak course HERE

To make sure you're staying up to date on all things relational education that we don't cover on the podcast be sure to hop on our Legendary Love email list HERE

P.s. The CNI concept was created by Terry Real, we're a big fan, you can check him out HERE

P.s.s. The "how we're difficult" is a process used by Stan Tatkin, also huge fans, you can find him HERE

Overfunctioning 101: Are You Breastfeeding Your Boyfriend? Aug 22, 2019

Show notes

Overfunctioning is the other half of the dysfunctional dance so many couple's find themselves in. In this week's Powercouple Game Time episode we're exploring the in's and outs of overfunctioning.

As a recovering overfunctioner, Kelsey is in the hot seat this week. Being interviewed by Jamie, she generously gives the audience access into the experience of the overfunctioner as well as some solid action steps to begin healing this pattern if you're (or someone you know) is overfunctioning and has the desire to become more optimal functioning in their life AND in their relationship.

In this episode

• What is an overfunctioner, and what is the relational and psychological definition?
• Where the roots of overfunctioning often begin.
• The internal anxieties that come with overfunctioning and the unconscious coping behaviours to minimize and numb the feelings we can't be with.
• Overfunctioners while high performers have traded being loved for being needed.
• The disjointed relationship to needs, boundaries and emotional regulation that overfunctioners experience.
• The overfunctioners hidden need for control hides a very deep vulnerability.
• The covert manipulations that go on underneath the conscious awareness of an overfunctioner and the impact this has on relationship safety, intimacy and fulfillment.
• Overfunctioners over reliance on the inner masculine and the rejection of minimization of the inner feminine.
• Reclaiming surrender, emotional safety and interal autonomy as the pathway to healing.

Ready to join our academy and receive your weekly dose of relational education ONLY available to academy members? Ya of course you do! Get in on that goodness HERE

Underfunctioning 101: Sucking From The Mommy Nipple Aug 15, 2019

Show notes

Underfunctioning is 1/2 of the dysfunctional dance so many couple's find themselves in. In this week's Powercouple Game Time episode we're exploring the in's and outs of underfunctioning. As a recovering underfunctioner, Jamie is in the hot seat this week. Being interviewed by Kelsey, he generously gives the audience access into the experience of the underfunctioner as well as some solid action steps to begin healing this pattern if you're (or someone you know) is underfunctioning and has the desire to become more optimal functioning in their life AND in their relationship.

In this episode

• What is an underfunctioner, and what is the relational and psychological definition?
• Where the roots of underfunctioning often begin.
• The internal stresses that come with underfunctioning and the unconscious coping behaviours to minimize and numb the anxiety.
• The relationship between competency and underfunctioning.
• The passivity, conflict avoidance and wounding patterns at play with underfunctioners.
• The imbalance of space in an underfunctioner dynamic.
• How to heal underfunctioning through reparenting.
• The role of discipline, challenge and backbone when it comes to moving towards more optimal functioning.

Ready to join our academy and receive your weekly dose of relational education ONLY available to academy members? Ya of course you do! Get in on that goodness HERE

Traver Boehm's article we referenced can be read HERE

Reparenting 101: Dating, Dysfunction and Your Inner Demon Child Aug 08, 2019

Show notes

So many dating disasters can often be boiled down to a lack of reparenting on both people's parts. Without learning to reparent ourselves, we'll continue to dump our unresolved debris on every new love story we walk into- so one might say this is mighty important.

**In this week's episode we break it down: **

• What reparenting is.
• Why reparenting is essential regurdless of your age, experience or how much "work" you've done.
• Whatever was missed in early childhood healthy development is your demon childs biggest power play AND your key to liberation from your toddler tyrants tyranny.
• Why reparenting is a challenge and the normalcy of resisting this work.
• The revelation of our biggest areas of reparenting individually and how this impacts our relationship.
• The drama in dating and it's direct links to a lack of reparenting.
• Our top 10 tips to begin your reparenting journey.

If you want even more love and relationship education be sure to join our school! Each week we send out exclusive newsletters, content, exercises and offerings to our inner circle community at The Legendary Love Academy. Join the community HERE

Creating Your Breakup Plan Jul 25, 2019

Show notes

You can't begin a healthy relationship until you know how to end a relationship with grace, honour and respect. So many people simply don't know how to end a relationship from a place of love.

But here is the deal, if you loved each other at the start, to truly honour the essence of love, it is important we bring love into the ending. Even when it hurts, even when you're in pain, we have the choice to act with honour and love.

But this is a skill, one that is rarely modeled. In this week's episode we give you the step by step to creating a breakup plan TOGETHER and the importance of ending relationships with more respect, consideration and kindness.

Show Notes

• Why breakup plans are important and why many people avoid operating at this level of intentionality and practicality.
• How a breakup plan contributes to more integrity, intentionality and safety for the entirety of your relationship.
• The play by play of our breakup plan that we co-created at the start of our relationship and what it entails.
• The 10 Steps to support your breakup agreement co-creation. **

If you want to receive more weekly relational education nuggets, exclusive challenges and practices and first access to any new programs, retreats, events and announcements, join our relational education academy, Legendary Love Academy HERE

If you're going through heartbreak right now and want support in healing and repairing your broken heart, you can grab our Heal Your Heartbreak self-study program HERE

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