The Crate and Crowbar

Latest Episodes:

Episode 370: The Dynamism Of Chewing May 21, 2021

Show notes

Alex, Tom S and Graham walk towards the light and enter the hot, sweaty, concrete podspace. Inside they discuss strobing, IGF-nominated art game Kristallijn, the lovingly recreated concrete formwork of Control, and the tiny tug-of-war strategy of Warpips.

A Take-Two earnings call revealed GTA5 has sold over 145 million copies.
The metaverse is already here, says Strauss Zelnick.
Are Travis Scott and Calvin Harris the same person? Graham thinks so, but only one stomped around Fortnite.
Only Galactus required you to fly inside his mouth though.
Geoff Keighley’s Summer Games Fest returns.
That band famous from Windows 95 is going to perform at the show.
Alex might prefer if they performed Windows 3.1’s Canyon.mid.
Alex has also been admiring the gorgeous concrete formwork of Control.
And the strobing lights of IGF Nuov award nominee Kristallijn. Be careful of you are sensitive to flashing imagery.
Graham has been letting slip the pips of war, in Warpips, a “tug-of-war” strategy game.
Its micro-strategy has shades of Infested Planet and Swords and Soldiers.
When does a simulated world matter? The villain you’re hunting can be found at any moment in lovely indie western Westerado: Double Barreled.
While EA’s last SimCity made simulated promises it couldn’t keep.

You can hang out with us and our community on our Discord channel. If you have a question for a future episode, send it to us at questions@crateandcrowbar.com or tweet us @crateandcrowbar. You can also listen to it on YouTube, and subscribe to our YouTube channel, if you like.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 369: Release The Crank-Snapper May 15, 2021

Show notes

Tom S, Chris and Marsh return to the camp castle carnage of Resident Evil Village and form a merry band to rob from the rich and give to the winch in Hood: Outlaws & Legends. Plus: all the latest Branagh news in BranaghWatch.

Feel emotions about space in Mass Effect, which is back, legendarily.
Stadia’s alive and well says man definitely not collecting stimulus cheques on behalf of Stadia.
Fall Guys sprung a leak. Ouch.
Would it be better if it was good? Dury’s out on Resident Evil Village.
Somewhat bungled medieval burglary game Hood: Outlaws & Legends.
Please let this be good: The Green Knight.
Maybe if you watch Tenet backwards it becomes less of a waste of time?
Welcome to BranaghWatch!
Branagh’s Poirot
Malkovich’s Poirot
Tom Clancy’s Branagh
I’m sorry I spent time watching Tom Clancy’s Without Remorse even though Michael B Jordan is very handsome.
Sidescrolling horror Lone Survivor
Innsmouth interactive fiction thingamy: Anchorhead
Retro horror management game, World of Horror
Junji Ito’s seminal horror work, Uzumaki

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 368: Nothing Must Be Learned May 08, 2021

Show notes

Alex, Graham and Tom S salivate over Epic v Apple goss, ponder IGF noms, wander Resident Evil Village, batter Bydos in R-Type Final 2, boggle polys in The Catacombs of Solaris Revisited and brave uwu in Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion.

A synopsis of the Epic v Apple suit so far.
David Rosen of Wolfire / Humble Bundle and his anti-trust suit against Steam.
Humble Bundle roll back on the removal of their sliders whereby customers can determine how much of a sale goes to charity.
The IGF noms are out.
Horror sports management thingamy was robbed of a narrative nom: Blaseball!
Experience the thrill of throwing pound coins down a drain in the latest baffling instalment of the seasoned horror series: Resident Evil Village.
Can the shmup sequel R-Type Final 2 reinvent itself for a modern audience?
Psychedelic perspective mindfuckery, The Catacombs of Solaris Revisited.
Emelie Reed has written about this on RPS and its transformation into a competitive “artsport”!
Jolly adventure where everything is knowingly meaningless and dangerously memey Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion.
Please enjoy Hayao Miyazaki pouring a jar of cold piss on the aspirations of young tech-heads.
A collection of essays and articles espousing Miyazaki’s withering old man energy.
The janky systemic blood-feuds of Kenshi.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 367: Only Dugtrio Forgives May 01, 2021

Show notes

Graham, Chris and Marsh scout the fractal spaces of Yedoma Globula, snoop on the neighbours in The Flower Collectors, bend extra dimensions in Portal Reloaded, abruptly retopologise in Warzone and poke a post-patch Cyberpunk.

Please buy Blood Cotillion and our other stuff!
Wolfire games is launching an anti-trust suit against Steam.
Official Playstation Magazine is no more. PLAY rises in its place.
Explore fractal fleshscapes in Yedoma Globula.
Rear Window The Game – Or Is It? Such questions you may ask of detective game The Flower Collectors
Private Eye VR seems to have dropped off the radar. The website domain is for sale and there has been no news for about 4 years. However, the dev behind it, Slacker Games, were still making up their tax returns until this year, so they aren’t completely defunct. You can find some old trailers for the game here – though it seems to focus much more on the wheelchair-bound aspects than specifically on the observation of neighbourhood events.
Play with time, but not really at all, in standalone fan mod, Portal Reloaded.
Cherish the maximum LOD mesh hell of Warzone.
Experience the caveated humanity and community of post-patch Cyberpunk.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 366: Hugging Slimes Funds Terrorism Apr 23, 2021

Show notes

Tom S, Alex and Marsh are generated by an algorithm to assemble words about fan-made Metroid game Prime 2D, digiperson creator Metahuman, hellish refresh Diablo II: Resurrected, weirdo retro Mr. Do! and cosmic metaphor Genesis Noir.

A new trailer for Skin Deep by Brendon Chung (aka Blendo Games). It’s systemic-y Die Hard in Space!
Brendon Chung’s previous games include: Thirty Flights of Loving, a short-form spy thriller, and Quadrilateral Cowboy, a systemic hacking/heist game.
Prime2D: a fan-made side-scrolling remake of the fabulous firstperson Metroid Prime of yore. Get it before it’s squashed!
Make uncannily symmetric HD pretty-boys with Metahuman. But, sadly, no Brodies allowed.
Smile!
Poke, poke, poke with Diablo II: Resurrected. It’s all just clicking isn’t it?
Speed up said clicking with the mod, MedianXL.
Alex has stuck a Mr on his MiSTer, but finds his wife mishandling his balls. That Mr is Mr. Do!
You can read Alex’s article about his MiSTer in Men’s Health Edge Magazine.
Genesis Noir: more like disappoint and click, amirite?
The Easy Rawlins novels are some good noir.
The Third Man is a great film with, in my unpopular opinion only, a terrible zither soundtrack and a very long sewer level.
Twas Vienna, not Prague, of course.
M. Ezio is 40% nose and probably a sex offender.
The AI-voiced Witcher 3 mod. Spritz that shit.
I am VERY invested in the backstory of Glup Shitto.
The world no longer needs our meat.
Gawain and the Green Slime was a good joke that I missed during the podcast itself. I now commend it for posterity.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 365: Clocks Don’t Exist Apr 17, 2021

Show notes

Tom F, Chris, Alex and Graham debate values of Cuno in Disco Elysium: The Final Cut, hit weak-spots in Boomerang X, are underwhelmed by the underworld of Paradise Lost, somehow tolerate the lore of Ghostrunner and forget the name of Trials of Fire.

There’s another one of those games that they do. This one is Oxenfree 2. The first one had a radio and you could talk over people.
Epic’s hi-fi answer to Roblox elicits the full spectrum of reaction from cynicism to ambivalence. That be Core.
Epic have also busied themselves by releasing their digi-person creator tool, Metahuman. Like a character select screen without all the tedious baggage of a game attached. Marvellous!
Please replace my face with a LOD-mesh from the cloud.
Get your spritzers ready for the Witcher 3 mod which uses AI trained on existing voice-acting to generate new lines.
In other voice news: Disco Elysium returns with extra acting! IMDB your heart out. Good Cuno or Bad Cuno?
Lenval Brown is a bandmember of the ska act Maroon Town.
Acrobatic firstperson boomeranger, Boomerang X.
First-person combo-based spider-kicker: Shady Knight.
Investigate Wikihow Fascism in bunker-based explore-a-story Paradise Lost.
A better explore-a-story in which everyone is dead: What Remains of Edith Finch.
A worse explore-a-story in which at least one person is dead: The Suicide of Rachel Foster.
Gone Home and Firewatch are still among the best examples of this genre. And, though not mentioned on the podcast, Tacoma, too.
Play as Jack Ghostrunner, a videogame man in a videogame land, in Ghostrunner, the twitchy and kinetic opposite of the opposite of Boomerang X.
Tactics/deck-builder mash-up with a name that will fall immediately out of your brain the second after reading it: Trials of Fire
Fights in Tight Spaces is another really interesting tactics deck-builder.
I wrote that initially as Tights in Fight Spaces, which is a luchador fashion game that I want to play.
Griftlands, aka Grivluns, is a roguelike deckbuilder with a narrative which may hinder its longevity.
No one can fix this.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Valheim: A Lock-In at The Crate and Crowbar Apr 02, 2021

Show notes

Heim! In this mini-pod, Pip and Chris have a chat about their experience of paddling their way towards Valheim’s (current) endgame. Beware! There’s an open discussion of the game’s contents, and that means potential spoilers.

On the way we discuss the myriad ‘heim crimes of Philippa Warr, the myriad ways in which Chris stands to improve as a person, and the one weird trick – vikings hate it! – that’ll get Pip killed one hundred percent of the time. Heim.

You can listen to this episode on YouTube, and our intro music remains Clambake by The Mandibles.

Episode 364: Sword Croutons From The Sword Soup Apr 02, 2021

Show notes

Graham and Marsh enjoy the after-hours delights of shortform curiosity-shopping experience Dépanneur Nocturne and imagine popping Sonic like a balloon in Puyo Puyo Tetris 2.

CDProjekt released a company strategy video. Many insights therein.
Mexican stand-off generator Subrosa is out in Early Access… again? Still? Shoulda called it Doublecrossy Road.
Evocative night-time tchotchke-acquisition simulator Dépanneur Nocturne
Pulp Sonic to a blue slime in Puyo Puyo Tetris 2.
Marsh’s combined listing of the Mission Impossible, Bourne, Fast and DC franchises? Why yes, it is: (best) M6 – M3 – M5 – B2 – B1 – M1 – M4 – FH&B – B4 – B3 – B5 – F6 – M2 – F8 – F7 – F5 – F4 – F2 – the entire DCU – F1 – F3 (worst)
The Living Mountain by Nan Shepherd (and the work of Robert Macfarlane) sheds new light on Minecraft
Graham offers these minor corrections to his description of The Living Mountain: it’s less than 100 pages, not a little over 200, and it was written in the ’40s and then published in the ’70s. Here’s an article he wrote about it back in 2014!
Manifold Garden pairs with Piranesi as Marsh will apparently never stop going on about.
The Devil and the Dark Water by Stuart Turton.
Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey-Maturin books.
Decentralised Macbeth experience, Sleep No More is available to be booked when this crisis ends.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 363: The Most Corrupt Dog Names Known To Man Mar 26, 2021

Show notes

Tom S and Marsh face ghosts and goats in idiosyncratic alpine horror game Mundaun, smash demons apart like satanic pinatas in Doom Eternal, take a swing at Mortal Kombat 11 and murder murders in the latest Hunt: Showdown event.

Jim Rossignol and Marsh have together written a one-shot table-top RPG, called Night of the Hogmen.
Sign-up to our newsletter, which will keep you abreast of forthcoming one-shots, as well as Teeth, the larger setting we are building up to, and contain other musings on the world of roleplaying.
Swiss spook-o-game / demented hay-bale-horror ASMR experience Mundaun.
Props to Luke for pointing this out to me. Read his excellent review of the Mundaun here.
Collect resources in the most savage way imaginable in Full-Brain game Doom Eternal.
Look, I didn’t bring it up, OK? It’s not my fault! But I still love Hunt: Showdown.
Escape from Tarkov is the game I mention that is similar to Hunt but with fussier gun management.
High-fidelity biffer Mortal Kombat 11 is made by NetherRealm, who also make the Injustice fighting series.
Arc Systems’ various fighting game franchises: Dragon Ball FighterZ, Guilty Gear and Blazblue
You should see me in a crown and/or tanuki suit: Super Mario 3D World
Who left the dogs out? Master of Game.
The law of ‘legal deposit’ is the statute Tom was recalling.
Destiny 2: real loot, real grind.
This was revealed too late to influence our discussion, but, actually, I do rather wish I could own Kim Kitsuragi’s orange pilot jacket, albeit with the impossible prerequisite that I’d look good in it.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 362: The Carrot-Shaped Hole In My Life Mar 19, 2021

Show notes

Tom F, Alex and Graham brawl through dungeons in Curse of the Dead Gods, use vegetables as truncheons in Bloodroots, scavenge for luncheons in Windbound and Valheim, and destroy dry stone walls without compunction in Forza Horizon 4.

Stylish and impactful dungeon brawler, Curse of the Dead Gods – but its curse management innovation feels a bit gunky.
Top-down one-hit-kill massacre featuring a beardy woodsman, Bloodroots. They should have called it Lumberjerk.
Gorgeous island-hopping survival game Windbound. Great mantling.
Crafty Viking game du jour: Valheim. Polished and smooth!
That “fucking dinosaur game”, is ARK: Survival Evolved.
Joyous arcade driving in a greased-up, gorgeously bucolic Britain: Forza Horizon 4.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

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