The Crate and Crowbar

Latest Episodes:

Midnight Mass: A Lock-In at The Crate and Crowbar Dec 03, 2021

Show notes

Jamie and Chris catch the last ferry to The Crock Pot for an extended, episode by episode recap of Mike Flanagan’s big themed, warm hearted Netflix horror show, Midnight Mass. Meet Steve and find out what His Deal is, learn about the redemptive power of hats, and listen as we lengthily monologue on the efficacy of digging a hole in the face of certain death.

This is a show we both really loved, which is deeply spoilable, so we talk in spoiler free generalities first and then at 23:35 go buck wild and fling all such restraint into the fire. But if you’re even halfway interested in this show, def go and watch it first! It’s very good…

Hill House, Bly Manor, Gerald’s Game are other Mike Flanagan things.
The Turn of The Screw by Henry James and The Haunting Of Hill House are both incredible books, and foundational texts in a certain kind of rich, ambiguous, literary fiction flavoured horror.
Six Feet Under and Twin Peaks The Return gave me chills which multiplied, somewhat.
23:35 – Spoiler Wall! Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here
Music: Raccoon City PD Entrance Hall Music from Resident Evil 2.
Doom metal heroes Candlemass, are, it must be said, insanely camp.
Legion is another show Noah Linklater is very good in.
Manderlay or Dogville were those Lars Von Trier movies Jamie was trying to remember.
Ricky Gervais and James Delingpole, what a shower of twatitude. The article Shall Not Be Linked, but is easy to find should you wish to subject yourself to some terrible journalism and superb self-owning.
Sean Of The Dead: “we’re not using the Z word!”
The movie I was trying to remember was Guillermo Del Toro’s superb directorial debut ‘Cronos’, which I’m confident Flanagan has seen and is likely quoting a bit here.
True Detective series 3 really does have the greatest old age makeup I’ve even seen, used to extraordinary effect on the the already extraordinary face of Mahershala Ali
Lord Of The Flies is a book you read in school by William Golding.
Exterminate All The Brutes is brilliant, it’s on HBO Max in the US and NowTV in the UK, I can’t recommend it enough.
“Nearer, My God, to Thee” is a 19th-century Christian hymn by Sarah Flower Adams, which retells the story of Jacob’s dream. “So he came to a certain place and stayed there all night, because the sun had set. And he took one of the stones of that place and put it at his head, and he lay down in that place to sleep. Then he dreamed, and behold, a ladder was set up on the earth, and its top reached to heaven; and there the angels of God were ascending and descending on it…”
It’s most famously the song played when the Titanic went down in the actual event, and to a lesser extent, the movie. Have you heard Gavin Briars beautiful ‘Sinking Of The Titanic’? It basically imagines what would have happened if the quartet kept playing even once they were swallowed up by the ocean, and transforms the strains of the hymn into spacious, ambient, haunting joys.
From Hell and Alan Moore ripped off constantly by American showrunners. See the final scene of True Detective Series 1 for details.
(also, read Alan Moore’s Top Ten, it’s amazing)

You can hang out with us and our community on our Discord channel. If you have a question for a future episode, send it to us at questions@crateandcrowbar.com or tweet us @crateandcrowbar. You can also listen to it on YouTube, and subscribe to our YouTube channel, if you like.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 386: When You’re a Rocket and You Live in a House Nov 26, 2021

Show notes

Tom S, Chris and Marsh discuss roly-poly science-mysticism in Exo One, unpick the odd decisions of Halo Infinite’s meta, get trapped in the batshit progression trench of Battlefield 2042 and become a good-time wombat in Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart.

Sorry again for the occasional pops on Chris’s audio. We thought we’d fixed it in the soundcheck, but it returned!
Become a ball and enjoy the thought of humanity’s legacy being ground to nothing by glaciers in Exo One.
Halo Infinite rekindles the fire of a classic, but makes a muddle of the meta.
Battlefield 2042 sounds like a mess in which fun moments can be had.
Punch yourself with the Fist of Fun in Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart.
A stunning virtual curation / reinterpretation of Radiohead’s millennial digi-angst albums is to be found in the KID A MNESIA Exhibition.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Deep Space Nine: A Lock-In at The Crate and Crowbar Nov 19, 2021

Show notes

Tom F and Marsh are joined and gently corralled by expert telly-brain Jamie Brittain to discuss the beloved Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Is it the greatest of all Treks? (Yes.) And why? And has the art that made it great been lost?

Let’s begin these show notes as the series itself does: with its iconic theme tune. Sing along everyone! Doop-a-dee-do, bee doop-a-dee. Doop-a-dee-do, be doople-oo doo be-dee. Doop-a-dee-do, bee doop-a-diiii, be doople-oo-do-do do-do be-dee.
If you want to refresh your memory in advance of this pod, the main episodes to watch are
1.1 – Emissary
1.18 – Duet
2.14 – Whispers
6.19 – In the Pale Moonlight
Other episodes are listed below in the order we mention them, alongside mini-synopses.
And here are the actors, characters and their roles, which we mention:
Avery Brooks – Capt. Benjamin Sisko – bereaved starfleet bossman and top bollocker on the station, accidentally finds himself “emissary” to some godlike beings who live in a nearby wormhole
Rene Auberjonois – Odo – shapeshifting “gel-weirdo” and head of non-Starfleet station security, of a species that is worshipped as gods by enemies of the Dominion, the enemies of the Federation
Alexander Siddig – Doctor Julian Bashir – genetically modified top doc and, briefly, lothario
Colm Meaney – Chief Miles O’Brien – head of engineering, good at darts, less so acting
Rosalind Chao – Keiko O’Brien – school teacher. Not a fan of amorous clones
Nana Visitor – Major Kira – top Bajoran on the station, former militia-member of a people who until recently were under brutal Cardassian occupation
Armin Shimerman – Quark – Ferengi barman and comedy character, somehow not awful
Terry Farrell – Lt. Cmdr. Jadzia Dax – science officer, sort of, who has a symbiote in her which carries the memories of its previous hosts
Michael Dorn – Lt. Cmdr. Worf – very un-Klingon Klingon, prune-juice enthusiast and oddly prudish sex-symbol
Tony Todd – Kurn – Worf’s brother, shamed and ostracised by Worf’s Starfleet allegiance
Tony Todd, again – Old Jake Sisko – Benjamin Sisko’s son, but old now because time
Andrew Robinson – Garak – ship tailor and slippery Cardassian spy
Marc Alaimo – Gul Dukat – former station boss under Cardassian occupation and brilliantly realised bellend
Louise Fletcher – Kai Winn Adami – Bajoran spiritual leader and power-hungry monster who oozes sanctimony
Jeffrey Combs – Weyoun – silky Dominion diplomat, cloned across multiple generations
The West Wing, political drama with a similar serialised/syndicated blend and doop-a-dee-do bee doop-a-dee theme tune
6.02 – Rocks and Shoals – the gang offer medical assistance to their enemy and (shock!) get betrayed
7.21 – When it Rains – the gang discover something about Odo (among other things!)
Babylon 5 – contemporary space station drama with heavy serialisation
The horrifying flying jellyfish feature in Operation: Annihilate (episode 1.29) of the original Star Trek
1.18 – Duet – a Cardassian arrives on the station with a disease he could only have contracted while
3.24 – Shakaar – Kira must talk down former fellow resistance fighters from starting a civil conflict (while O’Brien plays darts)
The great behind-the-scenes books on Trek that Tom mentions are: The Fifty Year Mission and, more relevant to this podcast, its follow-up
3.07 – Civil Defense – the gang accidentally trigger old Cardassian security protocols designed to deal with an armed rebellion
2.14 – Whispers – O’Brien finds himself at the centre of a conspiracy when everyone begins to act weirdly towards him
4.09 Our Man Bashir – silly but fun holodeck episode in which everyone takes on the roles of Bond characters
6.13 Far Beyond the Stars – Sisko imagines his crew as 50s sci-fi writers, for reasons?
4.14 Sons of Mogh – Sons of Mogh – Worf’s brother turns up on the station, distraught after being ostracised by Klingon society for Worf’s actions
6.19 – In the Pale Moonlight – Sisko explores underhand ways to bring the Romulans into the war on the Federation’s side
IT’S A FAAAAKE!
Section 31 are the Federation… but evil!
Star Trek: The Lower Decks – cheeky cartoon Trek courtesy of at least one alumnus of Rick and Morty
Star Trek: Discovery – characters acting in heavingly stupid ways with no greater purpose than to fill airtime with passingly exciting events
Murder One and Twin Peaks were anomolies at the time for dealing with one ongoing story-line across a season
Star Trek: Picard – a voyage into nothingness saved by its lead actor
X-files – failed to tread the line between monster of the week and serialised story
The phrase “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” is from the brilliant Darmok (episode 5.02) of Star Trek: The Next Generation
6.01 – A Time to Stand – an episode in which Odo, Weyoun and Ducat are locked in an “authority triangle”
5.16 – Doctor Bashir, I Presume – the episode in which Dr Bashir discovers he is genetically engineered
Star Trek: Voyager – best captain in Kate Mulgrew’s Janeway, and best doctor in Robert Picardo
Star Trek: Enterprise – best left unmentioned
6.12 – Who SPOILER for Morn? – Quark gets embroiled in Morn’s business, with film noirish consequence
That’s it! Goodbye.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 385: Everything Is Okay And You’re A Car Nov 12, 2021

Show notes

Alex and Chris talk a moderate amount about two games that talk a lot: Marvel’s Guardians Of The Galaxy and its heroic banterboxes, and Forza Horizon 5 and its lovebombing festival of wheels. Also discussed: the newly announced SteamWorld, the latest Mass Effect tease, and Elden Ring.

Apologies for some stuttering on Chris’s audio track during parts of the episode.

Alex is energised by the announcement of a new SteamWorld game in another new genre. The news came as part of a livestream presented by Mark Hamill.
Chris was buoyed by the arrival of a new poster for the new Mass Effect on N7 day.
Both are excited by the big, new explanatory video of Elden Ring.
Alex has been playing and almost somewhat mostly enjoying Square Enix’s Marvel’s Guardians Of The Galaxy.
Chris has died and gone to race car land, aka Forza Horizon 5.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Dune: A Lock-In at The Crate and Crowbar Nov 05, 2021

Show notes

Chris, Tom and Marsh stick their hands in the hot-take box and withdraw spicy and/or arid opinions on Denis Villeneuve’s adaptation of Dune, the seminal Fortnite emote. Great Whomps, Giger Babies and Very Expository Wives… this is only the beginning!

Haris Durrani’s essay on the muslim influences and intertexts of Frank Herbert’s Dune.
… And his subsequent essay on their notable absence from Denis Villeneuve’s adaptation.
GI Joe PSAs
GI Joe PSA parodies
Weirding modules are an invention for Lynch’s film adaptation and are not in the books.
Basso-voiced wobble-boys from the sub-woofer world like to party.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 384: Aspire To The Bat Cone Oct 29, 2021

Show notes

Alex and Marsh wander a cursed corner of England to shamelessly plug Marsh’s latest RPG venture, Stranger & Stranger, attempt to card-shark their way out of a cabin in Inscryption and hop, lightly, through hardcore roguelike Rift Wizard.

Teeth: Stranger & Stranger is the name of Marsh and Jim’s roleplaying mini-campaign.
Our last two games are Night of the Hogmen and Blood Cotillion.
Forged in the Dark is the name of the ruleset we adapted, and Blades in the Dark is the game for which is was made.
You could sub to our newsletter for news of Teeth (and other RPG musings and news).
Is This Timothée Chalamet’s Xbox Modding YouTube Channel? An Investigation.
Inscryption is a card game locked in an escape room locked wrapped in a metafiction.
An alluring web of stacking upgrades await in hard-as-nails roguelike Rift Wizard.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Every Fast & Furious Movie: A Lock-In at The Crate and Crowbar Oct 22, 2021

Show notes

Marsh and Graham perform an act of self-sacrifice and of public service, by inviting all ten Fast And The Furious movies into the Crate And Crowbar, locking the doors, and setting the building alight. Yes! We discuss the entire Fast Saga, including the Dominic Toretto ennealogy and spin-off Hobbs & Shaw.

As explained last week, this is the first in our new fortnightly series of lock-ins, in which we discuss a topic – whether game, TV show, movie, or mistake – in great detail. We categorise this episode under “mistake.”

It feels worth noting at this point that backers are currently not charged for lock-ins.

The Fast and the Furious (2001)
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
Fast & Furious (2009)
Fast Five (2011)
Fast & Furious 6 (2013)
Furious 7 (2015)
The Fate of the Furious (2017)
Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)
F9 (2021)

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 383: Charlie’s Chocolate Origins Oct 15, 2021

Show notes

Chris and Alex gather to put tshirts on an alligator in Far Cry 6 and flat caps on cat men in Splitgate. Also discussed: Chalomet, Crowe, weirs, Deathloop, and the future of the pod.

Timothy Chalomet’s Wonka origin movie is sadly just called Wonka.
You can watch papier-mâché Russell Crowe fall into Pultney weir anytime you want.
Far Cry 6 is out (via Epic) and it sure is more Far Cry.
Here’s the referenced Wired article on what Far Cry 6 gets wrong about Cuba.
Chris finished, and liked, Deathloop, and we’ll probably return to it in more detail in a later episode.
Splitgate has been gripping him since, which correctly bills itself as Halo meets Portal.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 382: Not Much Time For Tootling Oct 08, 2021

Show notes

Marsh, Chris and Tom S journey through the Moebius-inspired deserts of Sable, bash through the skeleton-filled dungeons of Diablo 2 Resurrected, and call for mother in the little adventures of Battlefield 2042. To close, they trade little kisses with the film adaptation of The Green Knight.

Sable is a beautiful, thoughtfully constructed adventure about the three verbs: map, climb and hoverbike.
Diablo 2 Resurrected released and is a great game, as per the original, but it could do more to explain to players why it’s fun.
Battlefield 2042 has had some open betas ahead of its November release, and it’s been teeing up cool explosions for Chris.
The Green Knight is a much-delayed adaptation of the 14th century poem starring Dev Patel.
The discussion of the film gets spoilery, but there’s a warning before diving into the muck (and other fluids).
We discuss the original poem in some detail, and you can find the original text online for free.
No less enduring a text: here’s the Taskmaster/Green Knight meme that Marsh references.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 381: Weird Acid From My Horn Sphincter Sep 24, 2021

Show notes

The traveller returns! Marsh, Alex and Tom F reunite to spin a tapestry about the swinging spider platformer Webbed, to swath the tactical satisfaction of WH40k: Battlesector in silk, and to suck the liquidised Deathloop through their mouth orifices. Also discussed: Marvel’s Midnight Suns, Tights In Fight Spaces, and Darth Maul naked in a shower.

Marvel’s Midnight Suns is a new turn-based strategy game from the designer of XCOM, but with superheroes, cards and a lot of knockback.
Fights In Tight Spaces is another turn-based game with cards, but it’s not fully out yet like we said, it’s still in early access.
Quantic Dream are rumoured to be making a Star Wars game, which is compelling
Marsh has been playing Webbed, a lovely physics platformer about a scuttling, swinging, web-spinning spider.
The scifi novel Marsh recommends is Children Of Time. It’s also got spiders in, you see.
Warhammer 40K: Battlesector is a blandly named turn-based game that nevertheless captures the spirit of tabletop Warhams.
Deathloop is from the makers of Dishonored, but instead of rewarding non-violence and stealth, it offers you ample excuses to kill everyone you meet.
Alex references this article about Deathloop invasions by Jeremy Peel.
The currently popular version of Magic the Gathering for home computer is MtG: Arena.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

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