The Art of Charm

Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain

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752: Essential Tools for Navigating Everyday Uncertainty Apr 01, 2019

Show notes

Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of life, and for many, it can feel overwhelming - but what important lessons can your relationship with uncertainty teach you, how can you improve the relationship with uncertainty, and what are some real-world examples of handling uncertainty in a positive way?

What to Listen For

How can purpose help you overcome and push through uncertainty in life when making big decisions as well as small decisions?
What exercise can you start doing now to help you deal with anxiety and uncertainty in your everyday life?
How does indecisiveness impact the feeling of uncertainty in life and what can you do if you have a bad relationship with indecisiveness?
What is the best advice for someone entering a leadership role at work for the first time?
Why is communication so important in a leadership or management role and what tips can you start implementing today to improve your team’s productivity?
What do many of us do to contribute to a toxic work environment and what can you do to start reversing the damage before it’s too late?
How do you make friends when moving to a new city where you don’t know anyone?
What easy questions can you use at the next meetup or networking event to spark conversations with new people?
What’s the best way to follow up with new contacts after a networking event?
What is the Social Sales Funnel and why is it so effective at building new friendships and relationships no matter where you live?

As humans, we evolved to look for patterns in order to feel more secure about our surroundings, because a lack of familiarity in the wild could mean you are not in a safe location. Uncertainty makes its appearance in the form of not knowing how something will turn out - that job interview, the presentation at work, the third date with your new crush, whether or not you’ll be able to sell the house in time, etc. The list goes on forever because there is an infinite number of events to be uncertain about, and depending on how attached you are to the event (or more likely, the outcome of the event), the more stress and anxiety the uncertainty can cause you.

It is critical to your future happiness and success to be comfortable with the discomfort uncertainty brings because life is full of uncertainty and there is no way to eliminate it from your life. Start building a positive relationship with uncertainty today and you will certainly be closer to a more enjoyable life tomorrow.

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Resources from this Episode

Episode 743: Relationship Goals: Love, Friends & Work

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

David Henzel on Instagram

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751: Less Stress, More Happiness with David Henzel | Q&A Mar 25, 2019

Show notes

Your habits and systems determine how successful you can become, but what habits and systems can you implement in your professional life and personal life to reduce unnecessary stress and frustration while creating more space in your calendar and your mind to focus on the important things?

What to Listen For

What role do habits and systems play in determining your potential for success?
How do you balance life and work as an entrepreneur?
What is David Henzel’s definition of happiness and how can you use his approach to happiness to help strengthen your own?
What can you start doing today to take the pressure off of you in situations ranging from one-on-one settings all the way to a public speaking event?
How do you build trust with someone you care about when he or she starts pulling away?
If you recognize toxic behavior in yourself, what can you do to deal with it so you stop causing damage to the relationships in your life?
How do you set boundaries without coming across as harsh or rude?
What can you do to start making friends after school or outside of work and church?
How can you use Facebook Ads to network, make friends, and even find a date?
What red flags should you look for when making friends or looking for dates in order to save yourself time and heartache?
How do you allow someone back into your life who used to be toxic and is clearly making an effort to improve?

Balance can be a difficult goal to hit because of how often things in our lives change. Friends and relationships come and go. Work will always have highs and lows and many of us jump from job to job every few years. Money comes and goes. Our hobbies and interests evolve over time. Our bodies age and demand different levels of care from us.

Throughout all of this, it’s important for our mental, emotional, and physical well being that we maintain some semblance of balance.

Socializing is important, meaningful work is important, relaxing is important, working out is important, exposing yourself to new people and new ideas is important, but spending all of your time on any one of those things can lead to feeling burnt out, eventual boredom, loneliness, and any number of dire physical ailments stemming from not having a well-rounded healthy lifestyle.

Follow your passion and do what you love, but don’t let the rest of your life fall by the wayside.

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Visit dukecannon.com right now and get 15% off your first order with the promo code CHARM. Free shipping on orders over $35.

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Resources from this Episode

Meetup.com

David Henzel

David Henzel on Twitter

David Henzel on Facebook

David Henzel on LinkedIn

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Episode 748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

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750: Overcoming Self-Doubt with Jay Shetty Mar 18, 2019

Show notes

If you want to pursue your own happiness and fulfillment you are bound to make decisions that confuse or disappoint the people around you, which can lead to doubt and uncertainty in your own head, so what can you do to stay focused on your goals, how do you handle the mixed emotions of those around you, and why can trying to live up to the expectations of others lead to a life of endless regret?

What to Listen For

Why does Jay Shetty give credit to Eminem for the way he approaches storytelling?
AJ asks Jay how he made the decision to become a monk at such a young age, leaving everything he knew behind
How did Jay Shetty’s fun-filled successful life in London finance compare to his modest living as a monk in India?
What 3 things did Jay Shetty notice in the person who inspired him to pursue life as a monk, and why are they so important to be happy?
How do you deal with the toxic people you cut out of your life before achieving some success but who later want back in once they see how successful you’ve become?
Jay touches on how to handle doubt and resistance from the people you love when you want to make a life-changing decision
How do you deal with self-doubt and perfectionism when you’re trying to consistently create content with a far-reaching impact?
Why is it easier said than done to “Just be yourself” and what tips can you start using now to be more comfortable being you?
How are your passion, purpose, and happiness inextricably linked, and how can you develop your passion into a purpose to build your happiness?
If you love telling stories, how do you turn that love into full-time work?
How do you curate an inner circle you can trust and rely on for support as well as honest feedback and advice?

You only get one life. You know this, but many of us don’t live our lives with that understanding in mind. It’s an important idea to comprehend for one simple fact: you don’t live anyone else’s life, and they don’t live yours. If you want to be happy and fulfilled you must make the decisions you want to make and not the decisions other people want you to make. No matter what you do, there will be people who are going to question you and doubt you, which is why it’s critical you believe in yourself and make your dreams priority number one.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today.

Go to stateandliberty.com and type in the code CHARM to get 10% off your first order or mention this podcast at any of their locations.

Get $100 off the ‘eero base unit and 2 beacons package,’ and 1 year of eero Plus. Visit eero.com/charm and at checkout enter CHARM

Resources from this Episode

The Journey Home by Radhanath Swami

The Bhagavad Gita by Eknath Easwaran

Jay Shetty on Instagram

Jay Shetty on Twitter

Jay Shetty on Facebook

Jay Shetty’s Podcast

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

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749: How to Handle Toxic Relationships Mar 11, 2019

Show notes

How can toxic people make you feel like you are losing your mind, what can they do to turn your coworkers and friends against you, and what is the best way to deal with them before the damage gets out of control, potentially leading you to lose a job, a relationship, or even your friends.

What to Listen For

Why is it so important to remove toxic people from your professional or personal social circle?
What two proven ways can you use to remove toxic people from your life?
How can a toxic person make you doubt your decision to cut them out?
How do toxic people work to turn your friends and coworkers against you?
What is gas lighting and how do toxic people use it against you to make you feel like you are losing your sanity?
What are the signs you can look for to know when you are being gas lit and what should you do if your recognize these signs today?
How do you go about dealing with toxic family members to remove their toxic influence on you?
What can you do to deal with toxic coworkers since how you handle it could impact your job security?

It’s one thing to understand the behaviors of toxic individuals so you can recognize them immediately and prevent them from getting deep enough in your life to cause any real damage. Many of you, however, might just now be identifying which of the relationships in your life are indeed toxic, and that can make it a significantly more delicate and difficult problem to address.

It is crucial to approach the problem as soon as you can to prevent the toxic individuals from doing any further damage, and once you do, you must stand by your decision. Toxic people can change, but the kind of change they must go through is not the kind of change that is going to happen after you allow them back into your life just because they got on their knees and begged for your forgiveness.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris

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748: 7 Signs of a Toxic Relationship Mar 04, 2019

Show notes

Toxic relationships exist in all of our lives in varying degrees, but defines a toxic relationship, how can you identify toxic relationships in your life, and what can you do if you find out you are exhibiting toxic behavior?

What to Listen For

What is the definition of toxic when it comes to relationships?
How do you recognize when a relationship is toxic and what can you do to rectify the situation or walk away from it?
What are the 7 surefire ways of identifying a toxic person and what is the best way to handle
How can you recognize when you are the toxic half of a relationship and what can you start doing now to make sure you don’t ruin the relationship?
What 2 simple questions can you ask yourself to determine if a relationship is toxic?
Can you rid yourself completely of toxic relationships?
What does it mean to be high value?
What are 3 high values behaviors you can identify in non toxic individuals and how can you implement them in your own life?
What does it mean to exhibit cooperative behavior and why is it important if you want healthy relationships and significantly less stress?

Toxic individuals and toxic relationships are an unavoidable part of interacting with other people. It’s a numbers game - if you meet enough people you will eventually bring toxic people into your life. That’s ok, what matters is how you handle the situation once it’s in front of you. And while toxic relationships can have a damaging impact on your life in a variety of ways, it’s important to remember that the toxic individuals are still human, and aren’t necessarily bad - they’re just bad for you.

We all go through phases in our lives and each of these phases asks different things of us and of those people we bring into our lives. It’s important for you to be conscious of what is good for you and what is detrimental, and just because a relationship or friendship is toxic for you at one time it does not necessarily mean that person can never be a part of your life. Establish boundaries, allow yourself to forgive from time to time, and prioritize your health and your needs - always put your oxygen mask on before helping the person next to you.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/charm for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain”

Resources from this Episode

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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747: Living Boldly with Gia Helena Feb 25, 2019

Show notes

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Fortune favors the bold” right? But what does it mean to live your life with boldness, how is it related to fear and the overcoming of fear, and in what ways is it different from simply having confidence?

What to Listen For

Do you have to be confident in order to be bold and why should you want to develop your boldness?
What can you do on a daily basis to practice boldness?
What steps can you give your children so they can develop strength and boldness in order to better succeed in life?
What stands in the way of people bringing boldness into their relationships?
How can not being your authentic self damage your relationships and prevent you from moving up in your professional life?
How much time is too much time spent trying to improve toxic relationships in your life before it’s acceptable to walk away from them?
How can you be more authentic in your relationships and how can being less authentic damage your relationships?
If you are facing a loss what can you start doing to cope with the loss to ensure you’re still able to be happy?
If you feel like you need a break from socializing, will it damage your relationships to take time off to recharge?
How do you know if your social circle truly has your back?
What can you do to maintain long distance friendships if you feel like you’re bad at it?

If confidence comes from exposing yourself to the unknown and the unfamiliar until it becomes familiar, boldness is the willingness to act in the face of fear and uncertainty. So, in order to develop either one you must be willing to take action. None of us starts at zero - we all have some level of confidence and boldness to begin with, but to improve them we must take action.

Practicing boldness will allow you to further increase your confidence, and increasing your confidence unlocks limitless potential in your life. But like any muscle or skill, if they are left alone they will begin to wither. Confidence and boldness must be exercised and practiced regularly in order to keep them growing, so get out there and start living your life with boldness.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Are you sick and tired of paying high interest rates on your credit cards? Go to lightstream.com/charm

Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.

Resources from this Episode

Gia Helena

Living with Boldness

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

The Wizenard Series: Training Camp

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746: The Kobe Bryant Episode Feb 21, 2019

Show notes

We all go through various acts in our lives, and each act carries with it its own challenges and relationships, so how can you take the experience, battle scars, and lessons you learned in one act as you transition into the next?

What to Listen For

How did Kobe Bryant’s relationship with Phil Jackson influence his Wizenard series of books?
Why is it important to embrace the adversity in life rather than avoiding it?
What are the biggest life lessons Kobe wants you to take away from his Wizenard book series?
Is vulnerability a sign of weakness?
How does having children change you as a person and the way you perceive yourself?
How can an unwillingness to go the extra mile actually be indicative of a fear of failure rather than simply avoiding extra work?
How do you assemble an inner circle of people you can trust?
If championships were Kobe Bryant’s Mt Everest in the past, what is his Mt Everest now and how is he going to conquer it?
Who are Kobe Bryant’s mentors as he enters the 2nd act of his life?

Life is a journey, not a destination, and if you look at your own journey you can usually split it up into segments, each with its own defining theme or challenge you had to overcome. The wonderful aspect of looking at your life in this way is that it allows you to identify what you learned and the strengths you gained from each segment. Every challenge you overcome in life strengthens you, grants you more wisdom, and makes you a more capable human overall.

Adversity in life is key to strengthening you physically, mentally, and emotionally. We should not try to avoid adversity, but to seek it, embrace it, and rely on it to make us better.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Resources from this Episode

Granity Studios

The Mamba Mentality

Kobe Bryant on Twitter

Kobe Bryant on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment

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745: Positive Psychology & the Science of Well-Being w/ Rob Mack Feb 19, 2019

Show notes

Positive psychology is a relatively new area of study and it’s garnered a ton of attention over the last few years - but what exactly is positive psychology, how is it connected to the relationships we have, and what can you start doing today to find more fulfillment, happiness, and success in life?

What to Listen For

What are the core teachings of positive psychology and how can you implement them to get through the lows of life?
What is the danger of identifying yourself with work or hobbies or relationships and if those are not ideal, where should you draw your identity from?
Rob Mack touches on cognitive agility and emotional regulation and why those two ideas help explain why so many people suffer from addiction
Why is it unhealthy to perceive relationships as something to “complete” you and how should you look at them instead?
What can you say to someone who is clearly playing the victim and help them move beyond it?
What is the one thing we know about the effective therapies around the world and how can you use it to ensure you don’t push people away?
Why can comparing yourself to others be detrimental to your happiness and how can you avoid the comparison trap?
What can you do to make life cooperate with you and make those challenging times more manageable?
How can you interact with toxic people in a manner that allows you to maintain your positive attitude?

Happiness is both a choice itself, as well as the result of choices you make in various areas of your life. To be as happy as you want to be, you must take full responsibility for everything in your life, and that includes everything that happens to you. The more blame you try to shift onto other people and things, the more power you give away, and that power is what enables you to choose your happiness.

On top of that, the people you spend time with absolutely have an influence over your ability to choose your happiness, making it harder or easier to make that choice. You can be happy and fulfilled around toxic people, but if it’s easier to be happy when you’re around people who support and encourage you and choose to engage you in positive conversations, why would you want to spend your time with anything but?

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.

Resources from this Episode

Rob Mack

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Episode 742 - The Hidden Power of Relationships

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744: Dating Done Right With Evan Marc Katz Feb 14, 2019

Show notes

Chemistry is often cited by many as the defining factor in what they look for when venturing into the world of dating - but is it the most important factor when it comes to the success of long term relationships, and what can you do to maximize the chances of finding the one while ensuring you waste as little time as possible?

What to Listen For

What dating apps are the best for establishing good connections?
How do women’s preferences differ from men’s when it comes to dating and how do you take them into account when getting to know new people?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of online dating and what can you do to mitigate the potential damage caused by the disadvantages?
Is compatibility or chemistry more important in the long run and how should you be viewing both when it comes to looking for what you want?
What one simple method can you use to break things off with someone you just met and are not interested in?
How can you look at dating in a way that stops making it feel like a waste of your time and energy if you haven’t found what you’re looking for?

Relationships can be hard. Many of us have heard that, whether it’s from family or friends or coworkers. But relationships can also be easy… if you allow them to be.

In fact, most of the time a relationship with someone you’re thinking about spending the rest of your life with should be easy. That person should accept you for who you are and understand you as an individual. You’re on a team, working together to make the relationship work. This is why compatibility is so important, and arguably more so than chemistry. Chemistry will make for great memories and amazing high’s, but compatibility will carry you through the years.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Evan Katz TED Talk

The Paradox of Choice

Evan Katz website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!