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    Education

    The Art of Charm

    Explore social skills like charisma, confidence, body language and conversation. On The Art of Charm, co-founders AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak break down the science of human behavior into practical skills, from owning a room and reading people to making a first impression and building real connection. Short Social Intelligence Briefings focus on one skill in about 15 minutes, and long-form interviews go deep with experts such as Joe Navarro, Chris Voss and Vanessa Van Edwards on body language, persuasion, influence and relationships. The Art of Charm has been on the air since 2007.

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    Latest Episodes:
    360: Jake Ducey | The Purpose Principles Dec 31, 2014
    Show notes

    Create a plan and work backwards. "Most of us are gambling on the biggest risk of all: that one day we can buy the freedom to do what we want later in life."-Jake Ducey The Cheat Sheet: What percentage of people are actively disengaged from their work? Career capital: what is it and why should you be creating it? Jake failed an English class in college: true or false? Why did he retype The Great Gatsby? What is the 10 minute rule and how do you apply it? And so much more... If you met someone who had dropped out of college and written a book at age 19, would you think they knew enough for the book to be any good or would you dismiss them? Not only did our guest for today's show write and publish a book at 19, he published his second book by the ripe old age of 23. That guest is Jake Ducey and that second book is The Purpose Principles. He joins us to talk about finding your purpose, taking action and productivity. We discuss those topics and so much more on this episode of The Art of Charm. Click Here to Support The Show and get 10% off Onnit! More About This Show: Jake Ducey was like most of us: he was raised to believe the road to success meant graduating high school with good grades, going to college and then getting a good job until you retired. And then maybe when you retired you'd have enough money and enough time to really do the things you love to do. But not long into his college career Jake ditched that notion. He realized he didn't want to be another cog in the wheel, and that's all that college was preparing him to be. After reading a copy of Jack Canfield's The Success Principles, he was inspired to quit school and strike out on his own. By age 19 he had written his first book and was turned down by a myriad of publishers. They all told him he couldn't possibly know enough to write a good book and they passed on his work. So he took matters into his own hands and self-published and self-promoted. He was his only publicist and he had no marketing budget to speak of, but he launched his book into Amazon's top 300. By the time his second book was ready he was offered a book deal, becoming the youngest motivational author at his publishing company. Along the way he's gathered the stories of our modern day successes like Oprah, Brad Pitt, Jim Carey and The Beatles. He's been mentored and learned under the tutelage of great authors like Jack Canfield and John Gray. He's taken valuable lessons he's learned from them and passed along that knowledge to the public. And today he passes along much of that knowledge to us. We touch on several topics in this episode, one of those being how to take action despite fear. He says men like John Gray and Jack Canfield are afraid too, they just don't let it stop them. They take action and have courage, inspite of their fear. Also it's important to understand you'll never get rid of fear, none of us will, so we have to move forward even when we feel it. Fear is a natural part of being alive, but we can face it and move ahead even when it's present. Jake also says he's learned to ask himself one simple question in any scenario when he's afraid: "What's the best that could happen?". Rather than focusing on the worst, which is what most of us do, he focuses on the best. And if you really need to address that worst case scenario, Jake recommends addressing it, preparing for it and then focusing on the best possible outcome and hoping for that. There are several other lessons he provides on today's episode but the final one we'll cover here is his productivity. How in the world can someone so young accomplish so much? He falls back on lessons from other motivational authors and uses the 10-minute rule and the 5 tasks a day rule. Take your To-Do list and find the items that will take you 10 (or 15) minutes to do and separate them from the others. And every day focus on 5 things you will do today to move you towards the life you really want. Jake and I also talk about how to lock down your purpose, how to create your most successful and fulfilling year (the one question to ask for this) and a whole heckuva lot more! Thanks to Jake for joining us and sharing his inspirational story and insightful knowledge. As always, thank you for being here and we'll see you next time. THANKS JAKE DUCEY! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Jake know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Jake on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Jake Ducey's web siteThe Purpose Principles, by Jake DuceyJake Ducey on Twitter You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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    359: Marsha Shandur | Saying Yes to Networking Dec 29, 2014
    Show notes

    As Marsha Shandur (@yesyesmarsha) knows, networking can be fun. Here's where she shows you how. "Networking is a long-term relationship, not a one-night stand." -Marsha Shandur The Cheat Sheet: Is everyone afraid of networking events? The top two ways to add value to someone no matter who they are. What's the spotlight effect? What does Helen Fielding have to teach us about networking? What is Marsha's "secret sentence" she uses to get a response from people? And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/marsha-shandur-saying-yes-networking-episode-359/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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    357: Linda Galindo | The Straight Truth on Accountability Dec 24, 2014
    Show notes

    You are the common denominator. "We gain strength, courage and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face and we do the thing we cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt The Cheat Sheet: Why is everyone afraid of accountability? What two qualities do leaders possess? Why lack of accountability in an office punishes the best employees. Why your ego doesn't help you. Fault vs. responsibility: Linda explains the differences. And so much more... Accountability. It's something we all want, yet most of us fear. We want it because with accountability things are clear, projects run smoother, results are produced and people are more fulfilled. In relationships the same is true: we're happier with accountability because our expectations are clear and are being met. So why do we fear it? And what can we shift in our mindset, our behaviors and our attitudes to let go of that fear and embrace accountability? Linda Galindo of The Straight Truth joins us to answer those questions and more on the 357th edition of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Have you ever worked in an office where there was someone who obviously didn't pull his or her weight and yet they were allowed to get away with it? Our guest for today's episode explains why this experience is so common and so frustrating, and what you can do about it if you find yourself picking up someone else's slack in your office. It boils down to accountability and if someone isn't living up to what is expected of him or her in their work, and no one holds them accountable then everyone involved suffers. It's common in the workforce today, but becoming less and less accepted. And if you're on the receiving end of this person's workload, Linda says there is something you can do about it besides just obediently and grudgingly take on the extra work. Here's the type of conversation she says to have with your boss if or when this happens: express your concern and let your boss know you want to do more interesting work. Assure them they can rely on you to do this new, interesting work and tell them you want to stretch yourself in your role. And let your boss know by giving you this type of work, they'll also have time to deal with the other person. Linda has spoken with many leaders of organizations and all have agreed this type of communication is invaluable to them. By saying this you are letting them know you want to be a leader for them, they can count on you and you are willing to express your thoughts; all valuable traits they are looking for in a leader within the company. There are a few other behaviors leaders look for from their employees in terms of accountability. If you want to be a leader, don't talk about others when they aren't around. Instead talk to someone if you have a concern and address it directly with them. No one trusts someone who talks about others behind their back. If you talk about one person behind his or her back, what's to stop you from talking about anyone else when they aren't around? Leaders must be trusted. Addressing someone directly builds trust. The second behavior is to not have meetings after the meeting! If something isn't clear to you during the meeting than be bold, courageous and brave and say so. You are responsible and accountable for your own clarity, so if something isn't clear to you than say so in that moment. Accountability isn't just reserved for the workplace. Accountability is a necessary component of healthy, long-lasting relationships too. In order for a relationship to be truly fulfilling and strong for the long haul, each person in it must take 100% accountability for the relationship. You read that right: 100%, not 50%. Linda says if it's 50% then it devolves into a co-dependent, needy relationship. So if you and your significant other want it to work out take 100% responsibility for the relationship and your part in it. Linda and I also talk about the power of having someone in your life holding you accountable for your accountability and your results. She stresses the importance of having a coach or someone else in your life who is completely committed to your success and allowing that person to hold your feet to the fire. That person could be a coach or a friend, but not a significant other (Linda explains why not). We also talk about steps to take right now to change your relationship to accountability, and how to develop accountability behaviors at work, among other related topics. Linda really brought the straight truth on accountability in this episode, so be sure to hear all the details! Thanks to Linda for being here, and thanks to all of you for tuning in. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS LINDA GALINDO! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Linda know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Linda on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Linda Galindo's web siteLinda Galindo on TwitterThe 85% Solution, by Linda Galindo You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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    356: Dave Cornthwaite | Expedition 1000 Dec 22, 2014
    Show notes

    Adventure is good for everyone. "The biggest risk is getting to the end of your life and looking back and thinking 'Man I could have done more.'" -Dave Cornthwaite The Cheat Sheet: What training does he do for his adventures? This kills ambition more than anything else, what is it? How many hours a day are most employees productive? How to deal with naysayers. When was the last time he had his own home? And so much more... Can you imagine skateboarding the length of Great Britain? Now what if you had just recently picked up a longboard for the first time? That's exactly what today's guest did, and he broke the world record doing so. Today Dave Cornthwaite joins us to talk about his adventures, including Expedition 1,000, and how he became a traveler, author, filmmaker and speaker on the subject of adventure travel. All of that and more on the 356th edition of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Dave wasn't born into a life of adventure, he cultivated it. On his 25th birthday he woke up feeling completely disenchanted with his life. He had a great job earning a good living, had a lovely home, a significant other and a cat. In other words, everyone would think he had the ideal life. But in his heart he knew he only loved his cat, and that cat was about to have a much better day than he was. That was Dave's turning point. Soon he quit his job and decided he was going to skate around Australia, breaking the world record in the process. To prepare he simply skateboarded every day for a couple of weeks and then he wheeled his way across the length of Great Britain, thereby setting his first world record. He didn't know how he was going to do either of these objectives when he set out to do them, he simply decided he was going to do them. He trained, learned and sorted things out as he went along. And he hasn't looked back since. Within those first two years of leaving his job, he broke several world records, landed a book deal and skated the length of both Great Britain and Australia. He's also in the midst of Expedition 1000: 25 journeys of 1000 miles or more using non-motorized transport. Not bad for a guy who had been living a pretty "normal" life until then! So how did he make that shift and how did he know to do so? Dave says there were signs of course, but most important he knew to follow his gut. His instinct told him something wasn't right, and there was more available to life than just going to a job, collecting a paycheck and accumulating "stuff". In addition to his gut telling him to search for more, he recalls not wanting to go to work on Monday. He also spent money on useless things, as a way to fit in and a way to fill the void that was creeping in from lack of happiness in his overall life. Those were his big clues, along with what his gut told him. If you find yourself in that same boat, and you know what you want to do next but you've got some fear, how do you get up the gumption to do it? Dave says things are far scarier in your mind and your thoughts, than they are in real life. So stop thinking so much and go do the things you need to do. And don't be bothered by the naysayers who try to stop you. Dave has heard his fair share of these folks, and even still hears from some of them today. What he's learned is when people are trying to dissuade you or they are speaking to your fears, it's not actually your fears they are speaking to but their own fears. When someone tries to talk you out of your big goal or dream just know it's their own fear they're trying to assuage. His final bit of wisdom on the subject is to remember it takes tremendous courage even to vocalize your dreams, so if your friends aren't supportive of you and encouraging you then they aren't real friends. There's tons more wisdom shared in this episode with Dave, tune in to hear his thoughts on how to say yes more, and have more opportunities show up in your life along with why we all need a bit of adventure in your lives. He has an adventurous spirit and it was terrific to hear where he's been and what he's learned from his last decade of adventure. Big thanks to Dave for joining the show, and special thanks to you for listening. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS DAVE CORNTHWAITE! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Dave know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Dave on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Dave Cornthwaite's web siteDave Cornthwaite on TwitterExpedition 1,000 on Facebook You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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    355: MJ Shaar | Smarts and Stamina Dec 19, 2014
    Show notes

    Focus on what works, not what doesn't. "Somebody busier than you is running right now." -MJ Shaar The Cheat Sheet: Why being busy is just a way of showing self-importance. What is the confirmation bias? The truth about why sleeping poorly leads to poor eating choices. The biochemicals that help us function properly, how to get enough of them. Why making minor shifts versus a major overhaul is a much sounder strategy for success. And so much more... Sleep, mood, food and exercise are the four pillars of health. And while some experts focus on one or two of these our guest for episode 355 focuses on all four. MJ Shaar, author of Smarts and Stamina, is a health and wellness expert who holds a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. She's also a certified personal trainer and consultant in this field. On today's episode we talk about these four pillars, what her book has to say on them and recommendations she has to get smarter and build more stamina easier and faster. All of that and more on this edition of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: If you were committed to improving your health by changing your sleep patterns, your mood, your food habits or your exercise routine, where would you start? Would you focus on the ones that need the most improvement, or would you improve on good habits you've already created in one (or more) of those four areas? Most of us would want to shift our bad habits and make them better, but our guest today says we're better off improving the good things we're already doing. If we're good at getting enough sleep then what can we do to be even better in this area? If we're already exercising regularly what else can we do to improve? By spending our energy and our time enhancing our existing good habits, MJ says we're far more likely to naturally and more easily improve upon our bad ones too. Over the last 14 years MJ has researched, studied and explored those four pillars of health, and she's even created a business model for other health professionals to become trained and certified in. Her Smarts and Stamina program is designed to help people become happier, more productive and healthier in every way, and to do so with as little self-discipline needed as possible! On today's episode we discuss each of the four areas (sleep, mood, food and exercise) and some of the science behind the important role each plays in our overall well-being. One of the areas we spend a lot of time on is sleep. She often hears people say they are too busy to get more than a few hours rest. And while some may hear that and think the person must be very busy, MJ hears that and thinks the person's cognitive abilities are impaired and their judgment is skewed...because that's what happens from regular sleep deprivation. Even if you aren't that sleep deprived person, you may miss a few hours here and there. And that's ok according to MJ. She says our bodies will try and make up for it down the road, we may want to sleep an extra hour or two on the weekend or catch a nap in the afternoon. But if we continue to deprive our bodies of the sleep they need over a long period of time it's just bad news all around. She compares sleep to a line of credit. If you take out a line of credit (or you miss a few hours of sleep), you can easily repay it a little bit at a time as long as you do so regularly and consistently. You can rebuild your sleep health by adding on a few more hours over time. But if you miss a few payments or take out even more money (or you continually deprive yourself of sleep for weeks, months on end) then you're simply digging yourself an even bigger hole that's much harder to get out of. When you miss some sleep, grab extra winks as soon as you can and don't make it a regular habit. To help you sleep soundly, regularly MJ has a few suggestions she shares in this episode. The first thing she says is to add in a few moments throughout your day to decompress. If you're in the checkout line at the store, just take a couple of deep breaths and be in the checkout line. You don't need to check Twitter or your email, just breath. Instead of driving to lunch, walk there instead. Allow yourself a few moments throughout your day to slow down a little, you'll have a much easier time slowing down to go to sleep at night. And secondly, create a ritual before bed. Remember how your parents tucked you in at night when you were a kid? You brushed your teeth, washed your face, maybe they read you a story and then it was lights out for the night. You can do the same thing for yourself now: brush your teeth, wash your face, get into bed and read for 10 minutes before turning out the lights. If you do this regularly your brain will catch on and will understand doing those things means you're going to sleep, it will start to sync up with that ritual and will cue your body to get ready to sleep. Those are just a few of the suggestions MJ shares in this episode, she has plenty of wit and wisdom you'll want to tune in for. A big thanks to her for being here, and thanks to you too. Thanks so much and we'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS MJ SHAAR! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let MJ know by clicking on the link below and sending her a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank MJ on Twitter! Resources from this episode: MJ Shaar's web siteMJ Shaar on TwitterSmarts and Stamina, MJ Shaar's book You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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    354: Andrew Hallam | The Millionaire Teacher Dec 17, 2014
    Show notes

    Why financial advisors are not always in your corner. "Learn to master money, and not let money master you." -Andrew Hallam The Cheat Sheet: How much would the average US stock from 20 years ago have earned you today? How $6.45 a day can get you a million dollars in 39 years. Why budgeting doesn't work, and what to do instead. Auto loans: why they're a bad idea. Who is Saint Jack and why should you care? And so much more... Nearly anyone in any industry or profession, with proper education, planning and execution can become a millionaire: true or false? True according to our guest for episode 354. Today Andrew Hallam, former finance teacher and author of Millionaire Teacher joins us to talk about the secret to compound interest, how to wisely invest, how to dig yourself out of debt and a host of other finance-related topics. Listen in for all of that and so much more on the 354th edition of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Very often people believe unless they are making millions of dollars there's no way they can become a millionaire. How could a teacher or a mechanic ever reach millionaire status? By saving and investing wisely and consistently over time, according to Andrew Hallam. And Andrew would know: he taught personal finance to the children of some of the world's most high-octane, Type A business parents. He also wrote the Amazon top-ranked book, Millionaire Teacher. He didn't start out with such lofty upbringing though; he has blue collar roots and earned his way through college, the first of his family to do so. While he was working one summer he met a mechanic who was a millionaire and that man taught him to learn to master money and not the other way around. One of Andrew's keys to mastering money has been understanding the beauty of compound interest. Andrew learned to invest a small amount every month at a young age, and to do so consistently over time while watching that money grow, and grow and grow. On today's show he explains how investing as little as $6.45 a day can become a million dollars over the course of 9 years, he goes into detail on how compound interest makes this possible and how we can start doing this today. But what if you're like millions of people who have credit card debt? Should you still invest while paying off your balance? Not according to Adam. Instead of investing, where you're getting a 9% return on your investment, pay off your credit cards because the average card is charging 18% interest. So take the money you were going to invest and pay down your credit cards. And here's a trick to paying them off even faster: write out exactly how much you owe on a slip of paper and then write the date by which you'll have them all paid off. Take that piece of paper and post it somewhere you'll see it every day, like your bathroom mirror. Look at it and remember you're on your way to mastering your money, and not letting your money master you. Once you're on your way to having paid off your credit cards and you're ready to invest for your future, set up an automatic transfer to your 401(k) or to a separate account which you use only to invest for retirement. And if your company offers to match your 401(k) investment make sure you take advantage of it. On the subject of where to invest, Andrew also has a suggestion: try the Vanguard Index. This particular index is set up by a company called The Vanguard Group, and the index is structured in such a way that you don't pay a sales commission. That means there are no fat cats and no shareholders who are making extra bucks off of you, as is the case with so many other financial packages and financial advisors. If you want to try another option, you can go with Fidelity's Index funds as well. But in most other instances he says the banker or financial advisor who is supposed to be helping you will really be concerned with making money for themselves and their employer first and foremost. On this episode Andrew also explains which assets are appreciating (and worth taking loans out for) and which are depreciating, and why auto loans are such a bad idea. He gives us plenty of actionable suggestions to get us started on the road to financial freedom, so have a listen and make a move after you do! Let's thank Andrew for sharing his wealth of knowledge (pun intended) and for sharing his time so generously. And thank you for being here, having you listen in is always appreciated. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm. THANKS ANDREW HALLAM! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let John know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Andrew on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Andrew Hallam's web siteAndrew Hallam on TwitterMillionaire Teacher, Andrew Hallam's book You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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    353: Scott H Young | Language Hacks for Everyday Life Dec 15, 2014
    Show notes

    Language hacks aren't just for languages. "Vulnerability is the best way to show strength, and vulnerability and respect go hand in hand."-The Art of Charm The Cheat Sheet: How he condensed four years of MIT curriculum into 12 months. The new learning paradigm: Scott explains. When is it most important to speak with natives of a language you're learning? The two things employers look for when hiring: what are they? How to get anyone to open up and let you in. And so much more... There's a skill to learning a new language and we've discussed this topic in-depth on several other shows here, but is there anything about the act and art of learning a language that can be applied to other aspects of our lives? If we don't care about learning other languages is there still value in some of the hacks people apply when becoming multi-linguistic? Absolutely, according to Scott H Young our guest for today's show. Scott invests his days in learning how to do things more efficiently and effectively, including languages. Today he shares with us how to apply his language hacks for everyday life, and so much more on the 353rd episode of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Would you ever go to a country with the vow not speak English no matter what? Not only did Scott H Young do that, he went to FOUR countries without speaking English while traveling with a friend. As you might imagine, he learned a great deal along the way and much of what he learned had little to do with language itself. On today's show we talk about how to apply language hacks to everyday life, based on what he discovered in his pursuit of being multi-lingual. The first discovery he shares is why we'd even bother, why does it matter if we learn how to navigate differences in other people? Because all of us, even if we never travel to a foreign country, will interact or be exposed to people who are different than we are. They either live differently, think differently or run with a different crowd. And the key to a healthier, happier and more productive life is to get along with people from all walks of life no matter how different they are from us. It's one of the most important traits employers look for in a potential new hire: will he or she fit into this culture? A great way to prove you will is to show you've assimilated or connected with people from many different backgrounds. The fundamental way to connect, according to Scott, is to find something you respect about that culture and focus on that. Once people in that culture understand you respect why they do what they do, even if it is different from the why and how of your background, the more open and receptive they will become. Once someone is open and receptive, it's far easier to connect and build a mutually satisfying relationship where you learn and express yourselves with each other. This doesn't have to apply to someone from a foreign country or with a different nationality, this can be applied to the various social groups you encounter. Are you a professor who has to sit down with a group of hipsters? The best way to fit in is to find something about them you respect, then look for how they operate, communicate and how they become friends. When you find all of that you'll have a much easier time connecting and fitting into their group. Or maybe you live in a particular neighborhood and don't "get" the way people live just a few miles from you. Be willing to explore, and look for ways to understand why they do what they do. When you look for and find the "whys" of a culture, any culture, you're far more likely to accept and appreciate that group. We also discuss why respecting someone from a different background doesn't mean we're any less confident in who we are, it isn't showing weakness to show respect for others. This is where vulnerability plays a key role. In essence vulnerability is showing the other person you respect them enough to open, and let your guard down. That gives them the opportunity to do so and allows for a much more real connection. Scott and I dive into this topic even deeper in the show. It was a pleasure to have Scott here to chat about his experiences and the lessons he's learned, and how you can apply his wisdom to get ahead! Thank you for being here, and listening in. We'll see you next time. THANKS SCOTT H YOUNG! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Scott know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Scott on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Scott H Young's web siteScott H Young on TwitterScott's videos on language hacks You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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    351: Jon Levy |The Influencers Dinner Dec 10, 2014
    Show notes

    Create your own influential network. "Just start something. Test something out, let it fail and let it fail often."-Jon Levy The Cheat Sheet: The statistical impact your friendships have on you. What are the two types of epidemics? The ninja strategy for following up by email. How to invite people from all backgrounds and walks of life. Why people like you even more if you ask them for a favor.. And so much more... What would it be like to have an Olympic athlete, an Oscar-winning actor and a CEO of a billion-dollar company at your dining room table? How could you create an event to bring them together and make them want to share a meal with you? Our guest for episode 351 did just that. Jon Levy runs an event called The Influencers Dinner in his home in New York. On today's episode he shares the origins of his idea, how he executed it to become the successful experience it is and how you can apply the same principles to create a similar event of your own. Join us for all of that and more on episode 351 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Jon Levy is a behavior expert, digital strategist and keynote speaker, but what is probably best known for is dinner. If you're lucky enough to get an invite to one of his exclusive dinners you're bound to have an amazing time with some of the most influential people in the world. He's had members of royal families attend, Nobel Laureates, famous actors, musicians, artists and some of the top leaders in every industry from around the globe. So what's his secret? Did he have an amazing Rolodex and just decided to gather people together at his place? Not at all. About six years ago he attended a seminar with Landmark Education and something the seminar leader said struck a chord within him. The leader said the quality of our lives is largely determined by the people we spend our time with and the conversations we have. These two things are the fundamental elements that impact who we are and where we go with our lives. Jon realized he wanted to connect with the greatest influencers he could, but how? At the time he was 28 and working for a start-up, he wasn't anyone who could get a phone call (much less a dinner) with the heads of state or Olympic medal winners. He spent the next year ruminating over how to create so much value for these people that they would make time in their already hectic schedules. He knew whatever he created needed to be so novel they would say yes. He eventually thought of having people over for dinner. He knew a group activity like cooking together would bond them quickly, and sharing food and conversation would cement that bond. Here's the novel part of the event: no one knows each other and each person is a leader from a different industry. They are not allowed to talk about what they do, they can only use their first names and if they are famous they must assume a different first name. Then over dinner the guests will guess what each of the attendees does for a living, only then can the guest reveal who they are! Since his first dinner Jon has since held 36 more and The Influencers Dinner has grown to be legendary. It's been featured in Forbes, The New York-Times and has been the catalyst behind millions of dollars done in business deals, publicity and press coverage for the attendees, multiple non-profits and even some romantic relationships. But Jon is the first to admit he overcame many hurdles and made plenty of mistakes along the way. He says he has embarrassed himself more times than not, failed countless times and had to learn many lessons the hard way. But it's all been worth it. In his words, "it takes a long time to become an overnight success". If you're in the same position Jon was when he first had the idea, what are some practical steps you can take to get going and create your own variation of The Influencers Dinner? Jon's first suggestion is to create novelty. Find something unique you can offer your guests that no one else does. Do you love games? Then do a game night and spend some time sorting out how to structure the evening so your guests enjoy themselves and you add value to their lives. That's another key point Jon makes: be sure you do something that is true to your core values. Remember this is going to be an event you're hosting for years to come so make it fun, make it enjoyable and make it something you already like doing. If it's not games, then how about a wine tasting or a mixology night? Again put some thought into this and be sure the event and activity you are hosting is true to you. One last suggestion Jon has is to spend a lot of time coming up with the idea. It took him a full year to come up with the dinner party idea! And he cautions about following in his footsteps with the dinner party: they get expensive (he spent $30k on his last year alone) so consider other alternatives before going down that road, unless you're willing to fork out the money. Jon recommends giving your idea a lot of consideration, there are plenty of other viable and equally fun alternatives to a dinner party. Jon also discusses some of the basic etiquette he follows in inviting people and for the event itself, suggestions you'll want to bear in mind as you create your own version of The Influencers Dinner. This is a fascinating topic so be sure to listen in and get all the golden nuggets! Thank you for listening and we'll see you next time. THANKS JON LEVY! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Jon know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Jon on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Jon Levy's web siteThe Forbes article on Jon's dinnersJon Levy on Twitter John Corcoran on The AOCAdam Grant on The AOC You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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    350: Steve Sisler | How to Read People Dec 08, 2014
    Show notes

    Steve Sisler (@stevesisler) explains how to adjust your style to connect. "We don't see people as they are, we see people as we are."-Steve Sisler The Cheat Sheet: The three reasons people listen. How much of communication is verbal, how much body language? What behavioral profile do nurses most often fit? Why meek does not equal weak. The secret to saying anything to anyone, Steve reveals. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/steve-sisler-read-people-episode-350/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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    349: John Lee Dumas | Entrepreneur on Fire Dec 05, 2014
    Show notes

    Sometimes, it takes courage to quit. "If you want to be you have to do."-John Lee Dumas The Cheat Sheet: What was his first real train wreck in his life? Why quitting isn't just for quitters. Is luck part of the success equation according to John? How much of a runway did he give himself when he started his podcast? The impostor syndrome: what it is and how it almost crushed John. And so much more... Do you think it takes courage to quit something, or do you believe quitting is never justified? One of the most successful podcasters in the world had to quit time after time after time in order to achieve the level of success he has today. John Lee Dumas, the mastermind behind Entrepreneur on Fire and Podcaster's Paradise, joins us to talk about how he found the courage to quit throughout his 20s and the success that brought him in his 30s. Listen in for all of that and so much more on episode 349 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: We live in a culture that glorifies 18-hour workdays, even if you're in a job or running a business you hate. There is no room at the top for quitters, that's long been the motto held by many. But is any of that really true or is it ok for you to quit until you find your thing? Turning the "quitting is only for quitters" paradigm on its head is our guest for episode 349, Mr. John Lee Dumas. If this is the only podcast you listen to then you may not have heard of him. But if you know anything about the podcasting world you know this guy is a phenom. He's the ringleader of Entrepreneur on Fire (or EOFire for short), a daily podcast getting millions of downloads and today earning him a seven-figure income. But just a few short years ago, John was struggling...really struggling. He had given up on law school after one semester, quit the corporate finance world after a few short years, and ended a brief run in commercial real estate. And John did not come from a family of quitters, he was not raised to quit anything. He was raised to give it his all and to know he'd succeed. All of the "quitting" began after John spent four years in the Army. He went to college on an Army ROTC scholarship, part of which required him to serve for four years after. When he originally signed on the dotted line in the late 90s we were a country at peace. And then 9/11 happened. The day the US was attacked was the beginning of John's senior year of college. He was concerned, of course everyone was at the time, but it wasn't until January of the following year that he understood he'd be going into a full conflict combat zone in Iraq. He was an Army tank leader and lead 16 men on a tour there through some of the bloodiest battles in that war. Losing four of his men really shifted John's perspective. He promised himself his life would make a difference and he would fulfill on promises these men would never have the chance to. He vowed to never settle for less than what he thought he was capable of. That vow and that promise were the reasons John explored and quit so many avenues after finishing in the armed forces. He left law school after one semester, even though he knew on his first day that it wasn't for him. He tried several other career paths, but nothing was "it" and he knew it. But one day while driving to work he ran out of podcasts to listen to. At the time he was in commercial real estate and was traveling a lot so while in his car he listened to inspirational and educational podcasts. And then it hit him: he would create and produce a daily podcast! No one else was so why not him? Feeling like he had found "it", John went full speed ahead into podcasting creation mode. From there EOFire was born. That's not to say it was all sunshine and roses, not even close. Because he had no college debt, John lived prudently and had saved over $100k. He used that money as his runway, and he needed it. EOFire didn't make any money for the first nine months. But he stuck it out, he honed his craft and continued (and still continues) to learn along the way. As he got better his numbers got bigger and his reach grew. With that advertisers came calling and opportunities presented themselves, like his mastermind group Podcaster's Paradise. Today he runs a thriving podcast that garners millions of downloads and is set to earn him well into the seven figure mark in 2015. And his lesson from all of this? Quit until you make it! We talk about so much on this episode, including how to know when to quit, how to know if your side project can be a full-on business and how to find a great mentor and mastermind group. John wanted to thank all of you for listening so he's given you the gift of his Podcast Launch book, for free right here. You don't even have to give your email address, it's completely free. John and I both thank you for being here, and we'll see you next time. THANKS JOHN LEE DUMAS! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let John know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank John on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Entrepreneur on FireJohn Lee Dumas on TwitterPodcast Launch, John Lee Dumas' book - free for you! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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