Texas Podcast Massacre

Latest Episodes:

095 The Final Girls: Tinker Tailor Soldier Virgin Mar 11, 2019

Show notes

The Final Girls elevator pitch: A better Last Action Hero. Adam Devine cracking jokes. Hilarious slow-mo scenes. A very sad striptease.

Join Texas Podcast Massacre as they review Unsuspecting Victim approved and horror/comedy gem The Final Girls and reimagine the film as a spy movie.

Show Segments:

Debate Question (02:30): Who is the best final girl?
Movie Review (20:12): The Final Girls (2015)
It Could Be Worse... (63:50)
Wheel of Genres: The Final Girls as a spy film (70:18)
Final Cut (74:47): Movie review scores from hosts and guests

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Texas Podcast Massacre is a labor of love for us longtime horror fans. If you love horror films or are even an Unsuspecting Victim, you can connect with us at texaspodcastmassacre.com, tweet us @TXPodMassacre, like us on Facebook, email us at texaspodcastmassacre@gmail.com, see our photos on Instagram, watch our music videos on YouTube or catch our IMDB page.

Please rate and review us on all of your favorite podcast platforms like iTunes, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, Google Play, Spotify, and TuneIn Radio. If you like the show tell your friends, and if you don't, then tell your enemies!

094 Planet Terror: A Grindhouse Texas Independence Day! Mar 04, 2019

Show notes

The Planet Terror elevator pitch: Bruce Willis' bubbling face. Down home Texas zombies. Fergie-delicious. Machine gun legs.

Join Texas Podcast Massacre as they celebrate Texas Independence Day with the Grindhouse modern classic Planet Terror and reimagine the film as a martial arts movie.

Show Segments:

Game (10:07): The Matthew McConau-game
Movie Review (30:59): Planet Terror (2007)
It Could Be Worse... (74:50)
Wheel of Genres: Planet Terror as a martial arts film (79:20)
Final Cut (85:40): Movie review scores from hosts and guests

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093 Saw 2: Li-Saw Returns to the Puzzle Palace Feb 25, 2019

Show notes

The Saw 2 elevator pitch: Strange poison gasses. Literal gun safes. Mudvayne. SO MANY NEEDLES.

Join Texas Podcast Massacre and the return of Li-Saw as they explore the twisty turns of Saw 2 and reimagine the film as a superhero movie.

Show Segments:

Debate Question (03:13): What director should take over the Saw franchise?
Movie Review (13:07): Saw 2 (2005)
It Could Be Worse... (65:00)
Wheel of Genres: Saw 2 as a superhero film (68:34)
Final Cut (73:54): Movie review scores from hosts and guests

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092 Happy Death Day 2U: Valentine's Day for the Whole Family Feb 18, 2019

Show notes

The Happy Death Day 2U elevator pitch: Tree grows as a character. Back to the Future 2 references. Even more time loops. Acting blind while French.

Join Texas Podcast Massacre as they talk, as they talk, as they talk about new release Happy Death Day 2U and reimagine the film as a documentary.

Show Segments:

Debate Question (02:49): What's the best way to reset your loop?
Movie Review Non-Spoiler (12:22): Happy Death Day 2U (2019)
Movie Review Spoiler (35:33): Happy Death Day 2U (2019)
It Could Be Worse... (63:13)
Wheel of Genres: Happy Death Day 2U as a documentary (66:51)
Final Cut (72:18): Movie review scores from hosts and guests

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091 Velvet Buzzsaw: If It Ain't Baroque, Don't Fix It Feb 11, 2019

Show notes

The Velvet Buzzsaw elevator pitch: Pretentious art. Pretentious art critics. Hobo robots. Murder spheres.

Join Texas Podcast Massacre as they eloquently critique the 2019 Netflix horror/art film Velvet Buzzsaw and reimagine it as a gritty crime film.

Show Segments:

Debate Question (03:08): What real-life art scares you?
Movie Review (17:10): Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
It Could Be Worse... (56:10)
Wheel of Genres: Velvet Buzzsaw as a crime film (01:01:08)
Final Cut (01:07:45): Movie review scores from hosts and guests

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090 Jeepers Creepers 3: In-Creep-tion Feb 04, 2019

Show notes

The Jeepers Creepers 3 elevator pitch: BEatingU license plates. Both underacting and overacting simultaneously. So much failed romantic chemistry. Worthless Gatling guns.

Join Texas Podcast Massacre and resident zoologist Taylor as we review listener pick from 2018 Jeepers Creepers 3 and reimagine it as a reality show.

Show Segments:

Debate Question (02:50): Where does the Creeper rank against other movie monsters??
Movie Review (13:25): Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)
It Could Be Worse... (01:02:45)
Wheel of Genres: Jeepers Creepers 3 as a reality show (01:10:50)
Final Cut (01:16:40): Movie review scores from hosts and guests

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089 Bird Box: Keep Some Birds in a Box! Jan 28, 2019

Show notes

The Bird Box elevator pitch: Boy meets Girl. John Malkoviching all over the place. Confusing demon logic. People getting injured while blindfolded.

Join Texas Podcast Massacre and Sandra Bullock-enthusiast Patricia as they review Netflix smash Bird Box and reimagine it as an action film.

Show Segments:

Song - Birds in a Box (0:06)
Debate Question (05:42): What's the best animal to warn you about demon things?
Movie Review (19:52): Bird Box (2018)
It Could Be Worse... (01:09:22)
Wheel of Genres: Bird Box as an Action film (01:14:00)
Final Cut (01:19:45): Movie review scores from hosts and guests

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088.5 Lisa's Loft – A Quiet Place vs. Bird Box Jan 27, 2019

Show notes

In the inaugural episode of "Lisa's Loft", Lisa and Unsuspecting Victim Patricia discuss "A Quiet Place" in preparation for the TPM review of "Bird Box"

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The post 088.5 Lisa's Loft – A Quiet Place vs. Bird Box appeared first on Texas Podcast Massacre.

088 Escape Room: Dr. Toucan Sam Jan 22, 2019

Show notes

The Escape Room elevator pitch: Mysterious cameras. Puzzles that are not that complicated. Two-dimensional characters. Conspiracies on conspiracies.

Join Texas Podcast Massacre as they race against the clock to debate and review 2019's first horror film Escape Room.

Show Segments:

Debate Question (06:30): What's the best theme for an escape room?
Movie Review (17:40): Escape Room (2019)
What Would You Do Differently? (01:07:35)
Wheel of Genres: Escape Room as a Western (01:12:25)
Final Cut (01:17:25): Movie review scores from hosts and guests

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The post Escape Room: Dr. Toucan Sam appeared first on Texas Podcast Massacre.

087 Pumpkinhead: Vigilante Fruit Justice Jan 14, 2019

Show notes

The Pumpkinhead elevator pitch: Children in burlap bags. The most dirt per capita in the world. Hill witches. Murder coverups.

Join Texas Podcast Massacre and winter squash enthusiast Bill as they head into the country to ride dirtbikes and review 80's cult classic Pumpkinhead.

Show Segments: