Struggle Care

Latest Episodes:

73: When You Have the Problem Dog with Jacqui Zakar Jan 18, 2024

Show notes

Are you at the end of your rope dealing with a dog who always seems to be the problem? I’ve been there, and I can say that there is hope! Today’s episode is a nice wrap-up as the final part of our series on dog training. Jacqui Zakar joins us from her home in Australia for today’s discussion about coping when your dog is “the problem.” Jacqui is a dog trainer I follow on TikTok, and I know she brings a lot of great advice and expertise to this important topic. Join us!

Show Highlights:

● Why Jacqui understands from personal experience what it’s like to have a reactive dog that’s labeled as “that dog”

● What Jacqui identifies as the most common misconception around dog training

● Why Jacqui wants parents to take a closer look at the relationship between their dog and their child

● Why socialization for your puppy is NOT the only answer to behavior problems

● Why we sometimes have to adjust our expectations of life with “this dog” because of their individuality

● Why Jacqui starts her training by assessing how a dog deals with different types of pressure

● Why training should focus on small steps and ONE thing at a time

● What to do when you’re at the end of your rope with a problem dog

● Why the best question to ask when getting a dog is, “Which dog will fit best into my lifestyle?”

● What KC discovered about her dog through using aversive methods (with a trainer) and teaching boundaries

● How to use a “welfare lens” in understanding long-term stress vs. a stressful moment in your dog’s training

Resources and Links:

Connect with Jacqui Zakar: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

72: “Breast is Best” is the Worst with Mallory Whitmore Jan 15, 2024

Show notes

If you are a parent or have spent time with expectant and new parents, you’ve probably heard the phrase, “Breast is best.” The phrase is used to promote breastfeeding as a superior way to feed a baby, and it has terrorized many new parents along the way. My guest is Mallory Whitmore, “The Formula Mom,” who is a passionate advocate for formula-feeding parents. Join us for the discussion!

Show Highlights:

● How and when “breast is best” originated and became a popular slogan

● The tragic and manipulative history of formula marketing

● How “Breast is best” has come to symbolize superior parenting choices and not merely nutrition

● How breastfeeding is often the first failure in parenthood and one that causes extreme mom guilt

● Mallory’s take on the question: Is breast best?

● Why most parenting choices are a cost/benefit decision

● The truth about the data behind “Breast is Best”---and why the research is skewed

● KC’s personal experience of struggling to breastfeed and switching to formula

● Why the fundamental issue here is a woman’s bodily autonomy, something most people support in every other circumstance

● Why the “lacti-vism” movement is wrong in assigning moral superiority to the act of breastfeeding

● The realities of life around breastfeeding on the job and a lack of empathy

● Why Mallory’s mission is to support and empower formula moms to combat the shame—not to convince people not to breastfeed

Resources and Links:

Connect with Mallory: Instagram, TikTok, and Milk Drunk

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

71: A Hot Fat Guy Takes on Toxic Masculinity with Alex Frankel Jan 08, 2024

Show notes

Today’s topic is exciting: toxic masculinity, which might be better termed “functional masculinity.” I’m joined by Alex Frankel, who grew up in San Francisco clearly understanding that the definition of hotness was dictated by beautiful people in popular magazines. During his entire childhood, he felt trapped in his fat body and hated how he looked. He finally realized that being hot was more than perfect abs and bulging biceps but more of an attitude. Alex is now a successful plus-size model, and he’s a body-acceptance advocate and role model for fat guys all around the world. He created the Hot Fat Guy Club to dispel the myths around diet, culture, fatphobia, and other fat people stereotypes. His goal was to create a welcoming community where people are celebrated and not shamed for their body types. Why do I love this topic? It’s because men are not often talked about in the body positivity movement. Join us for a new perspective from a Hot Fat Guy!

Show Highlights:

● An overview of Dr. Ronald Levant’s Seven Tenets of Traditional Masculine Ideology

● Where the problem of masculinity originates because of deeply entrenched patriarchy, traditional masculine values, programming, and gender policing

● Fascinating trends in how young boys and girls segregate themselves until puberty hits

● Why Alex believes a lack of empathy and respect for other human beings are core issues with today’s masculinity

● How we are taught the power differential by society around relationships and rejection

● How programmed traditional masculinity can be dormant until it flares up later in life

● The link between church and religious propaganda and traditional masculinity

● Why men have been programmed by traditional masculinity around vulnerability and feeling shame in showing emotions

● Three things to note around weaponized vulnerability, emotional safety, and caring feelings

● An example about the inability to express or understand emotions

Resources and Links:

Connect with Alex Frankel and the Hot Fat Guy Club: TikTok and Instagram

Mentioned in this episode: Therapy Chat podcast and The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths About Masculinity and Violence by Ronald F. Levant and Shana Pryor

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

70: How to Coach Your Executive Functioning with Hannah Choi Dec 25, 2023

Show notes

Many people struggle with executive functioning skills, which are the mental skills that we use every day to learn, work, and manage tasks in daily life. My guest is Hannah Choi from Beyond Booksmart. She is an executive function coach who hosts Focus Forward: An Executive Function Podcast. She has over 20 years of experience working with students of all ages but currently focuses her coaching on college students and adults. Hannah was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and has spent her life trying to figure out systems to make things easier and less awful for those with executive functioning challenges. Join us to learn more from Hannah!

Show Highlights:

● An overview of Beyond Booksmart and what they offer through their coaching programs

● How Hannah explains executive function skills

● Why executive function skills are greatly impacted by our stress levels

● How working memory is impaired by executive function challenges

● The importance of figuring out the WHY of your struggle

● How Hannah works with someone with time blindness by using a BVA (budgeted vs. actual) tool

● Why you need to give yourself compassion as you identify your struggle and find workable solutions

Resources and Links:

Connect with Hannah Choi and Beyond Booksmart: Website and the Focus Forward Podcast

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

69: Religion without Patriarchy with Rev Karla Dec 18, 2023

Show notes

Today’s topic is about the religious trauma that many people encounter as they grow up, patriarchy, and the way religion tends to weaponize mental health. I’ve had my various issues with religion, but I want this episode to be helpful to those who consider themselves religious and those who do not. I’m joined by Karla, who is an Interfaith Interspiritual minister who refers to herself as “spiritual, but not religious.” Join us!

Show Highlights:

● How Rev. Karla came into her “deconstructing religion” phase

● How a journey of religious deconstruction puts a person into a kind of freefall

● What it means to go into the “spiritual wilderness”

● Why Rev. Karla calls herself an unchurched, non-conforming Christian

● Why we should question authority, religion, and the patriarchy

● How we are intuitively connected to our inner wisdom and what is happening around us

● Why we need spiritual autonomy

● Thoughts on the Netflix documentary, Escaping Twin Flames

● How some religions weaponize any mental health issues as indicators that faith, spiritual grounding, and leadership potential are lacking

● Why sexual exploitation almost always shows up when patriarchy is in full force

● The correlation between mental health and religious trauma

Resources and Links:

Connect with Rev. Karla: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook,

and Spirituality Matters podcast

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You

can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on

our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

68: Emotionally Intelligent Dog Training with Andrew Gleason Dec 14, 2023

Show notes

As we continue with the topic of responsible dog ownership for those with mental health challenges, I’m joined today by Andrew Gleason of Dog Savvy Training. He’s my personal dog trainer, and I love his approach. Join us to learn more about training and teaching your four-legged “wild child.”

Show Highlights:

● How Andrew came into the work he does today

● Why most obedience training is a way to control misbehavior—and falls short

● Why most dog behaviors fall into two categories of suppression or reaction

● How Andrew breaks down a simple issue like leash-walking

● How learning for all mammals comes down to constructional model learning and emotional model learning

● How to support your dog’s learning

● What “force-free training” entails with a more holistic approach

● How Andrew attempts to take a healthy approach to limitations, boundaries, and respect

● How common training techniques don’t communicate learning

● How Andrew uses aversions and optimism to teach a dog about the freedom of choice

● An overview of Andrew’s company, Dog SavvyTraining, and their scope of both in-person and virtual training

Resources and Links:

Connect with Andrew Gleason and Dog Savvy

Training: Website

and Facebook

Connect with KC: Website,

TikTok, Instagram,

and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep

House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You

can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on

our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

67: Dog Care When You Struggle (From Our Team of Experts) Dec 11, 2023

Show notes

What do dogs have to do with struggle care? If you had lived in my shoes, you would understand. What was I thinking? I decided to celebrate all of my kids finally being in school by getting a puppy! It has been a journey of figuring out why I have a dog when I have ADHD and chronic fatigue–but we love our dog! I reached out to four different trainers to talk about the idea that it’s okay to have pets, even if you have struggles in your life. Let’s take a closer look with Ash, Aaron, Steph, and Joel at dog ownership and dog training in a way that ensures a good and mutually fulfilling partnership between our dogs and ourselves. Join us!

Show Highlights:

● The fact is that life changes, and it doesn’t have to be perfect to give a dog a good life. The bare minimum is okay until you can do better.

● An emphasis on owner-focused training gives high-output results with low input; the small things count!

● An important factor to consider is energy level management because you can’t always rely on being able to manhandle (or pick up) the dog.

● How to approach dog ownership in regards to breed, size, temperament, habits, and maintenance

● Why a consistent 60% effort is better than an inconsistent pattern of 100% and nothing

● Why the same tips don’t work for every person and every dog

● Why the most important thing is to train your dog on how to handle their energy

● How we over moralize many aspects of dog ownership, like rescue dogs vs. breeder puppies

● How to approach physical exercise AND mental exercise with your dog

● How a dog’s needs can be met in ways that fit in with ANY lifestyle

● Training priorities for a dog living with an owner with a struggle care background

● How to know if your dog is happy

● Enrichment activities for dogs that don’t involve the owner

● Why dogs are community builders

Resources and Links:

Connect with Ash: Website,

TikTok, and Instagram

Connect with Aaron: TikTok

Connect with Steph: TikTok,

Instagram,

Facebook, and Podcast

Connect with Joel: TikTok,

Facebook,

and Instagram

Connect with KC: Website,

TikTok, Instagram,

and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep

House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You

can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on

our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

66: The Dark Underside of Family Vlogging, Part 2 with Catie Reay Dec 04, 2023

Show notes

We continue our family vlogging conversation today, discussing how often our kids get put out and displayed on the internet and how that affects them. I have Catie Reay joining me to talk about how children get exploited in family vlogging. Catie was raised in a religious cult and had to overcome childhood sexual abuse. Now, she advocates for children online, dedicating her time to helping parents navigate conversations with their children about online safety. Her viewpoint will provide everyone with food for thought. Let’s dive in!

Show Highlights:

How putting children online can still have negative consequences, even if there is no abuse
Catie reveals how family vlogging channels fail to protect children from abuse, sexualization, and stalking
The controversy surrounding family vloggers who monetize their children's content
Why it's exploitative to use children for creating online content as they cannot consent to being broadcast to millions of people
How child actors face exploitation in the entertainment industry
The importance of considering children's privacy and emotional well-being when creating and consuming parenting content
How creating digital scrapbooks for children without proper consent can potentially result in long-term emotional distress
How children get forced to sign NDAs by their parents to prevent them from speaking publicly about their experiences
The challenges of balancing the demands of social media and parenthood
The importance of parents being proactive in adjusting their children’s digital habits to prevent them from being sexualized online
Why parents must protect their children’s digital footprints

Resources and Links:

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Catie Reay on Instagram and TikTok (@thetiktokadvocate)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

65: The Dark Underside of Family Vlogging, Part 1 Nov 27, 2023

Show notes

If you have much experience with family vlogs, chances are that today’s topic has crossed your mind. My guest, Cam, is here to share her personal experience growing up as the child of one of the first well-known “Mommy bloggers.” Cam is an international advocate for children of influencers and family vloggers. She takes a stand against child exploitation, going as far as speaking to lawmakers and appearing in documentaries. Her perspective will give us all something to think about. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:

● How to understand what family vlogging is

● Cam’s take on two high-profile cases involving family vlogs that have been in the headlines

● Cam’s experience as a child when her life was on display through her mom’s blog

● What happens to a child when a parent overshares about their lives

● How controversy always causes people to “click”--and more clicks mean more money!

● The effect of growing up with a lack of privacy that caused embarrassment and vulnerability in Cam

● Why consent is at the heart of this issue for kids

● Can family vlogging be done ethically?

● Why it can be devastating to feel exposed by the people who should protect you the most

● Cam’s advocacy efforts to keep children from being exploited online

Resources and Links:

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

64: Love is Blind and Toxic Relationships, Part 1 with Emily Rose Nov 20, 2023

Show notes

If you are an avid Love is Blind watcher, you will definitely relate to this episode. If you haven’t watched the show, we will catch you up on the structure of the show and why it is so fascinating as a study in relationships, both healthy and toxic. Emily and I both made lists of relationship red flags that we noticed in Love is Blind, and we are discussing those and how they relate to real-life relationships. As a disclaimer, I know that reality TV is heavily edited and that everything is contextual. We don’t know these people personally, so please take our opinions with a grain of salt. Join us!

Show Highlights:

● A look at Izzy and Stacey’s relationship—and the red flags on both sides of this polarizing couple

● A Red Flag: Teasing and comments about appearance

○ What to watch out for: In early dating relationships, look out for how quick someone is to tease you about your physical appearance.

● A Red Flag: When someone doesn’t have the emotional skill set to hold space for past trauma, mistakes, and vulnerability

○ What to watch out for: Someone who wants to establish their moral superiority to hold the power in the relationship.

● A Red Flag: When someone’s enjoyment of me decreases if I’m not sexually attractive to them

○ What to watch out for: Someone who shuts down when you don’t look your best.

● A Red Flag: Fake intimacy defending itself as “honesty” in disclosing vulnerabilities that are hurtful to their partner

○ What to watch out for: Someone who is emotionally immature about what intimacy and vulnerability mean in a monogamous relationship

● The nuances of financial stability in a relationship–and who should pay for dates

● Factors that determine compatibility in a relationship–and why that matters so much

Resources and Links:

Connect with Emily Rose: Instagram and Podcast

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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