Struggle Care

Latest Episodes:

93: Trad Wives and the Leisure Class with Professor Neil Shyminsky May 28, 2024

Show notes

We are continuing with the topic of trad wives, but we are taking a different angle in this conversation. I’m joined by Professor Neil Shyminsky, who is an English professor at Cambrian College in Sudbury, Ontario. He doesn’t teach a lot about literature but likes to focus on media studies, gender/sexuality studies, and socio-political thought. We begin with a clip of Professor Neil explaining the concept of the “leisure class” as it relates to trad wife content. Join us!

Show Highlights:

The “other” side of trad wife content: an idealized performance of domesticity and romanticization of a woman’s role
Professor Neil defines “the leisure class.”
Don’t always believe the story the camera shows! (It’s all carefully curated content!)
Social signals in how we “perform” our gender
Trad wives as the moral purity status symbol of their husband’s godliness and enjoyers of God’s richest blessings from living a life of submission
Thinking critically is key to understanding the truth about the values they promote.
The difference between liking traditionally feminine things and being a content creator who makes active choices about how they present their enjoyment of traditionally feminine things
The comparison between trad wife content and MLMs
Professor Neil’s advice: “Be thoughtful and self-reflective in what you consume.”

Resources and Links:

Connect with Professor Neil Shyminsky: TikTok, Instagram, X, and LinkedIn

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

92: Trad Wives: The Psychology of Anti-Feminism with Dr. Lesley Cook May 20, 2024

Show notes

Buckle up for this one! We are discussing the interesting topic of trad wives, the psychology of anti-feminism, and the pushback/feedback we are seeing on TikTok. If you aren’t sure what any of that means, stay with us, and we will explain. I’m joined by my good friend and frequent guest on the show, clinical psychologist, Dr. Lesley Cook.

Show Highlights:

A montage of trad wife audio content
The overriding philosophy of trad wife content: the good way vs. the bad way (with no in-between)
KC’s definition of a trad wife: “a woman who chooses to stay home, submit to her husband, and embrace traditional gender roles because they believe God says they will be happier” (usually with undertones of homeschooling, homesteading, and political/religious agendas)
The correlation between mainstream marketing, multi-level marketing, and trad wife philosophy: they all create the myth around what they are trying to sell
The psychology of instability, isolation, loneliness, vulnerability, and a lack of belonging common in the trad wife movement
Too much feminism OR not enough feminism??
Our responsibility as a global community of women to the problems of patriarchy
Patriarchy, the myth, and the marketing campaign
Scenarios in which a trad wife is trapped, isolated, overtaxed, and overwhelmed—but still believes the myth
Traps that pop up in many areas with exploitive systems that can all be tied to money
How we are consuming trad wife content with a romanticized view of the false narrative

Resources and Links:

Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

91: When Kinky Sex is the Healthier Option with Sunny Megatron May 13, 2024

Show notes

Please be advised that today’s episode is adult content; it’s not safe for work or little ears. We are talking all things kink with Sunny Megatron, a clinical sexologist, kink educator, and consultant. Join us for an interesting and informative conversation!

Show Highlights:

Understanding what kink really is—and how it measures up to the assumptions we have
The difference between kink and a fetish
Sunny explains “kink done well” and “kink done wrong”
The concept of “aftercare” in kink
Societal messages around sex that lead to shame, embarrassment, and an overall lack of open communication
We don’t understand our sexual motivations.
Stigma busting around sexual assault, trauma, and fantasy
Red flags to look for in sexual power dynamics
The slippery slope of fear (of what kink may lead to)
Problems in kink relationships are the SAME problems in “vanilla sex” relationships!

Resources and Links:

Connect with Sunny Megatron: Website, TikTok, and Instagram

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

90: How to Feed Yourself When the World is Burning Down Around You with Amy G.S.A. Brooks May 06, 2024

Show notes

If you have felt the pressure to put meals on the table that adhere to the expectations of others, even when you could barely function in life, this episode is for you. I’m joined by Amy G.S.A. Brooks of Wandering Ames. She’s one of my favorite content creators who posts about the OK Kitchen. There is more to life than succumbing to societal pressure to prepare perfect, five-star meals. Join us!

Show Highlights:

● The beginnings of the OK Kitchen and the forming of a new community

● Food insecurity and diet culture during the pandemic

● Messages surround us everywhere about how we feed ourselves and fuel our bodies.

● Thinking about preparing food for three meals every day seems like never-ending labor!

● Meal plans can be a helpful tool–but should be set aside when needed.

● Wasteful in food or wasteful in being unkind to ourselves? Which is worse?

● Be willing to break the rules: dinner doesn’t have to be a big meal or a fancy production, and food plans should be simple and flexible.

● The point of meals is to get what our bodies need.

Resources and Links:

Connect with Amy G.S.A. Brooks: TikTok

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

89: Why Women MUST Do Habits Differently with Monica Packer Apr 25, 2024

Show notes

I’m joined today by Monica Packer, host of the About Progress podcast, as we talk about habits. Specifically, our discussion focuses on why the habit-forming advice out there written by men does not work for women. Join us!

Show Highlights:

● Monica’s background as a blogger and podcaster who had to “learn how to fail”

● Understanding that perfectionism is a spectrum that affects our ability to form “good habits”

● Monica’s lightbulb moment: “Maybe our methods are broken.”

● The biggest difference between men’s and women’s habits: invisible labor

● How invisible labor is defined–and what the statistics show

● Examples of the mental load that women carry

● Popular culture advice (about forming habits) that DOES NOT work

● Monica’s tips for forming habits: redefine consistency, shift your view of habits, and start with the smallest and simplest form of the ideal

● Bedtime Revenge Procrastination is real for many women!

● The goal of habits is to support you—so do it YOUR way!

● Understanding trade-offs and how they work for most women

Resources and Links:

Connect with Monica Packer: Website, About Progress Podcast, Instagram, and The Sticky Habit Intensive Course

Books mentioned by Monica:Fair Play by Eve Rodsky and Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

88: Therapists on TikTok (will sometimes be mean to you) with DeeDee Wednesday, LPC-S Apr 22, 2024

Show notes

Today’s episode is all about mental health, therapy, and being online as a therapist. We are diving in with my guest, DeeDee Wednesday, who has created a space for intentional healing and empowerment through therapy and leadership coaching. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:

● An overview of DeeDee’s work as a therapist in Louisiana

● Traditional therapy is NOT today’s therapy.

● An open mind, a balancing act, and showing up as an authentic therapist

● Navigating the tricky world of TikTok (or any social media platform) as a therapist

● DeeDee’s work to show up as a therapist when entitlement, racism, and white supremacy are at play

● Understanding how moral perfectionism causes some people to act

● Having a line that you won’t cross to “do no harm”

● What it means to be self-aware

● Dealing with difficult people

● “Power is really the ability to choose.”

Resources and Links:

Connect with DeeDee Wednesday: Website, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

87: Releasing the Mother Load with Erica Djossa Apr 15, 2024

Show notes

Every mother needs to hear this conversation. It just doesn’t make sense that we put so much undue pressure on ourselves and are quick to criticize and judge other moms for their parenting styles. I’m joined today by Erica Djossa, the author of Releasing the Mother Load: How to Carry Less and Enjoy Motherhood More. We are talking about all things motherhood and expectations, why I’ve been blasted over a couple of recent TikToks, and Erica’s parenting wisdom from her book. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:

● One of KC’s videos about how she “doesn’t play” with her kids—and the flurry of negative responses over parenting choices

● The intensive mothering ideation: motherhood equals martyrdom, mothers must put everyone else’s needs about their own, shelve all their interests, and be self-sacrificial in every way

● The second of KC’s videos about sending her dog away from home for training—and the flurry of anger and shame over her inadequacies as a dog owner

● Mainstay pillars of the intensive mothering ideology and the BS that is promoted as healthy attachment and “good mothering”

● Giving less can sometimes mean giving more.

● The truth that shows up in the bedtime routine (“Are you holding space for yourself, mom?”)

● The scope, dynamic, and importance of “independent play,” creativity, and solving problems

● Healthy attachment: safety, security, reliability, and dependability

● The space for moms to have unique and different personalities and mothering styles, like bedroom parents vs. living room parents

● Projecting our mother wounds on other moms (Why do we do it?)

● Understanding why not all NOs are equal

● The disparity in expectations and judgment for moms and dads

● Motherhood expectations, boundaries, and the stories we tell ourselves

Resources and Links:

Connect with Erica Djossa: Website, Instagram, Momwell Podcast, and Releasing the Mother Load book

Mentioned by Erica: Needy by Mara Glatzel

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

86: How the Church Gaslights Women with Dr. Andrew Bauman Apr 08, 2024

Show notes

I recently came across the content of Dr. Andrew Bauman, a licensed mental health counselor whose mission is to provide high-quality experiential, narrative-based psychotherapy from a Christian worldview. His writings display eye-opening perspectives on religion and relationships that we aren’t used to hearing from a male Christian leader. I’m joined by Dr. Andrew to discuss how the church gaslights women and much more. Join us!

Show Highlights:

● Dr. Andrew’s path from Southern Baptist Church pastor to therapist as he deconstructed his faith and faced stark realizations

● The big, red-flag problems in what some churches teach and practice about women, leadership, sexism, and abuse

● The facts about sexism and abuse experienced by women in the church

● “How we are in our sexuality is how we are in our spirituality.”

● Many churches demonstrate benevolent or ambivalent sexism.

● Thoughts and feelings about I Timothy 2:11-12 being weaponized against women

● Dr. Andrew’s thoughts on how the church weaponizes forgiveness

● The correlation between pornography and violence against women

● The biblical account of Jesus and the woman at the well—and how He broke decades of prejudices and sexism in His own culture

● Other examples in scripture of how Jesus valued women—and how the church “gets it wrong” so often

● Understanding sexuality and consent

Resources and Links:

Connect with Dr. Andrew Bauman: Website/Blog/Resources, The Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma

Recommended Reading: books by Natalie Hoffman, Sarah McDugal, and Sheila Gregoire

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

85: Is Consent Black and White? (Maybe Not!) with Sarah Casper Apr 01, 2024

Show notes

Joining me today is Sarah (pronounced SAH-rah) Casper, Consent Educator and the founder of Comprehensive Consent. We connected over a recent TikTok about sexual coercion, sexual assault, and consent, which, as you can imagine, prompted very strong reactions. There is a new social space around the whole idea of consent, even to the point that new terminology is being created, as with the term “enthusiastic consent.” With the overall goal of education and empowerment, Sarah and I tackle this very nuanced topic in today’s show. Join us!

Show Highlights:

● Consent is full of black, white, and LOTS of gray areas.

● The truth: “Consent is not simple, and the same rules don’t apply across all contexts.”

● Understanding the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire and the opt-in model vs. the opt-out model

● Common questions Sarah is asked about people’s experiences

● Everyone deserves care, all feelings are valid, and your feelings don’t have to be labeled.

● Not all assault is sexual coercion, and not all sexual coercion is assault.

● Sexual ethics is much more than consent.

● Watch out for red flags in a partner wanting to “check all the boxes” for consent.

Resources and Links:

Connect with Sarah Casper and Comprehensive Consent: Website, Instagram, and TikTok

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

84: Make Friendships Easier with the Six Besties Theory with Hello Hayes Mar 25, 2024

Show notes

Friendships can be very complicated and fragile while at the same time solid and fulfilling.

Even though our “besties” may come and go across our lifetime, they can each bring something valuable and unique to the friendship table. In this episode, we are taking a closer look at relationships, specifically friendships in all their complex and nuanced forms. My guest is content creator and podcaster, Hello Hayes. She answers questions from her community each week about navigating turbulence in our relationships with each other, work, and ourselves. Our conversation takes a closer look at her intriguing theory of the six different kinds of best friends. Join us!

Show Highlights:

● Hayes’s background as a writer, an empathetic person, an “old soul,” and a good listener

● The natural shifts in friendships as life changes and phases unfold

● Hayes’s six besties theory: (based on the premise that we have different friends in life for different purposes)

○ The Good Time Bestie

○ The Dead Body Bestie

○ The Work Bestie

○ The North Star Bestie

○ The OG Bestie

○ The Seasonal Bestie

● The mental health piece of friendship

● Practice your self-awareness muscle: Be confident in trusting your gut!

● The basis for Hayes’s advice to people about their relationships

● Knowing when it’s time to face a painful heartbreak and move on

● Having tough conversations with the right words without being accusatory

Resources and Links:

Connect with Hello Hayes: Hello Hayes podcast, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and email (to submit a question) hellohayesadvice@gmail.com

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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