Education
**Struggle Care**

A podcast about self-care by a host that hates the term self-care. Therapist KC Davis, author of the book How to Keep House While Drowning talks about mental health, care tasks, and more.

Latest Episodes:

103: Autism (actually) Speaks with Kerry Magro Aug 02, 2024

Show notes

For several recent episodes, I’ve been interviewing people with autism about their perspectives and experiences. We are discussing the DSM criteria, stereotypes about autism, and how autism affects the lives of both children and adults. An autism diagnosis can have many different nuances, and there is so much more to autism than the DSM criteria. Today’s guest, Kerry Magro, shares his experience in this episode. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:

Kerry’s growing up years with mostly communication and sensory-based challenges, love and support from his family, and his success as a professional certified speaker
Kerry’s various college and graduate degrees
Stereotypes about autism
Understanding autism as a true spectrum with a wide range of complexities and strengths
Kerry’s challenges with eye contact and other social norms
Understanding “autism burnout,” masking, representation, and “honoring” the disability
Kerry’s perspective on autism and relationships
“Repetitive and restricted behaviors” in adulthood
Kerry’s experience as an adult, dealing with sensory sensitivities and learning to speak up for accommodations
Kerry’s experience with autism and physical touch
Advice for parents

Resources and Links:

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

102: The Controversy of ABA: A Discussion with an ABA Practitioner Jul 29, 2024

Show notes

If you heard our episode from a couple of weeks ago, you know we discussed Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). Today, we are looking at the controversy surrounding ABA, why many people are in favor of it, and why many people oppose it. My guest, Taylor, is a BCBA, a board-certified behavior analyst, so let’s discuss this topic and learn more from her.

Show Highlights:

An explanation of ABA and the role of a BCBA
The language of ABA: desired behaviors, undesired behaviors, behavior contrast, punishment, replacement behaviors, injurious behaviors, tantrum behaviors, etc.
Taylor’s story about going to an ABA conference
The historical harm that ABA has done to autistic children
The dehumanizing aspects of ABA
Is the goal of ABA to make an autistic child seem less autistic?
Therapies covered by health insurance for an autistic child: speech, occupational, and ABA
The side of ABa that no one talks about
ABA: helpful, traumatizing, or distressing?
Taylor’s path to becoming a BCBA
An autism diagnosis does NOT mean that you need ABA.
A look at a typical ABA session (even though each session is highly individualized to the needs of each person)
Taylor’s top three things that can be done to better serve autistic people

Resources and Links:

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

101: Bonus Episode: Autism (actually) Speaks with Kathleen Walker Jul 26, 2024

Show notes

As we continue with our series on autism, I’m joined by Kathleen Walker for today’s bonus episode. We discuss the basic criteria for autism, her experience as a child with an early diagnosis, what it’s like for an autistic person to “play by the rules” of business etiquette in the workplace, and her advice for parents of autistic children. Join us to learn more from Kathleen!

Show Highlights:

The first criteria for autism: “persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction”
Kathleen’s perspective on her social communication and interactions as an early-diagnosed child
Examples of how an autistic person might “miss things” in interaction and communication
Challenges for the autistic person in a professional career vs. in personal relationships
Masking and modified behaviors to be accepted
Kathleen’s suggestion for rewriting the DSM criteria based on communication/interaction
Helping autistic kids feel comfortable and navigate the world in their own ways
Kathleen’s experience with social difficulties around conversations, nonverbal cues, and anxiety
For an autistic person, connection in relationships might not be a top priority in life.
Kathleen’s experience with “repetitive and restrictive interests, rituals, and schedules
Kathleen’s advice for parents of autistic children

Resources and Links:

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

100: The Controversy of ABA: A Discussion with a Psychologist Jul 22, 2024

Show notes

In this episode Psychologist Lesley PsyD discusses Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy, particularly in the context of autism, during Autism Awareness Month. This conversation aims to provide a neutral and factual overview of ABA, exploring its principles, applications, and the diverse perspectives surrounding it. Lesley explains ABA's focus on understanding and modifying behavior through reinforcement and environmental adjustments. They address the benefits and risks of ABA, emphasizing the importance of individualized approaches and naturalistic learning.

Show Highlights:

Overview of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy and its relevance to autism.
Clarification of ABA terminology and its practical applications.
Discussion of the emotional and controversial nature of ABA therapy.
Examination of the challenges parents face in accessing appropriate therapies for children with autism.
Importance of understanding behavior in context, including antecedents and consequences.
Exploration of the benefits and risks associated with ABA practices.
Critique of the focus on compliance and neurotypical standards in ABA.
The role of reinforcement in behavior modification and its implications for intrinsic motivation.
Discussion of the need for individualized approaches to therapy that respect children's unique experiences.
Advocacy for a compassionate and nuanced understanding of autism and behavior analysis.

Resources and Links:

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.struggl ecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

99: Bonus Episode: Autism (actually) Speaks, An Interview Mashup Jul 19, 2024

Show notes

In today’s episode, you’ll hear from three guests about their autism experience and their perspectives on common stereotypes about autism around communication, relationships, and more. This is a bonus follow-up to our most recent episode about autism with Kaelynn Partlow. Join us as we explore autism further with Syd, Atlas, and Sapphire. I’m happy to have them here to share their insights.

Show Highlights:

Meet Syd, a 22-year-old post-grad student who is self-diagnosed as autistic and ADHD:
Thoughts on relationships, unmasking, and “quality over quantity”
Being yourself in a world that isn’t always welcoming to your kind
Cultivating a special (and rare!) interest in learning and education
Meet Atlas, who was self-diagnosed at age 16:
Identifying with autistic characters on a favorite TV show
What it’s like to pick up on other people’s perceptions of your weirdness
Autistic traits that Atlas recognized from childhood about obsessive routines
Meet Sapphire, who was identified as autistic in 5th grade but not diagnosed until age 19:
Nuances around communication, conversations, and awkward silences
The common misunderstandings about what a relationship with an autistic person can be like
Using an “Excel spreadsheet in my brain” to catalog each person
Relationships and the need for “alone time” to decompress
Sapphire’s advice to parents who are hesitant to have their child tested/diagnosed

Resources and Links:

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

98: Autism (actually) Speaks with Kaelynn Partlow Jul 08, 2024

Show notes

Happy Autism Awareness Month! Yes–I know that was in April, but I have ADHD and am easily distracted. I’ve procrastinated for more than a year on doing some really great episodes about autism because I want to do justice to this topic. I’m starting with an amazing TikTokker, Kaelynn Partlow. I’ve followed her for quite a while, but you might know Kaelynn from Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum. Kaelynn shares about autism from her personal experience and her professional work with autistic kids. She was diagnosed at age 10 with autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia, and ADHD. Her background provides a unique perspective on advocacy that is worth our attention. Join us!

Show Highlights:

Specific criteria (from the DSM) for autism—and Kaelynn’s experience with each one
Persistent deficits in social communication and interaction
Restrictive or repeated behavior
Kaelynn’s experience in making and maintaining friendships while growing up and now
Masking: What it is and what it feels like
The nuances of eye contact: not enough or too much?
All autistic behaviors ARE human behaviors.
Stimming from an autistic perspective and a non-autistic perspective
Kaelynn’s special interests, routines, and self-imposed “rules”
Kaelynn’s experience with sensory issues: noises, fabrics, etc.
Kaelynn’s perspective on physical touch (Most autistic people don’t like physical touch.)
Kaelynn’s diagnosis at age 10 (after the assumption that she was genius-level intelligent.)
Autism is NOT an invisible disability!
Kaelynn’s reflection on her childhood and helpful therapies and treatments
Kaelynn’s thoughts on common ADA controversies
Kaelynn’s advice to those who might fear being “labeled” if they pursue testing for themselves or their child
What Kaelynn sees as the biggest misunderstanding about autism today

Resources and Links:

Connect with Kaelynn Partlow: TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook

**Look for Kaelynn’s book, Life on the Bridge, to be released this summer!

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

97: In Defense of Video Games (for parents of gamers) with Derrick Hoard, LMFT Jun 24, 2024

Show notes

We are back for Part 2 of a fascinating discussion with Derrick Hoard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, TikTokker, and video game aficionado. We left off in last week’s episode talking about how some people rely too heavily on gaming for their coping skills in life and how “mindful gaming” can go beyond simply pushing buttons and help in many ways. The conflict over video games extends beyond partner relationships and definitely leads to challenges for parents and their kids. Let’s explore this topic with Derrick!

Show Highlights:

Myths and misconceptions about video games from a parent’s perspective
Being mindful means using as many of the five senses as possible and being purposeful.
Video games can lead to emotional connection, learning, and many problem-solving skills.
Derrick’s perspective on gamers who play a variety of games: good or bad?
Thoughts on the benefits of games like Skyrim and Mass Effect
The value of a collaborative approach by parents who get involved in a child’s gaming life respectfully and appropriately
The benefits of video games for neurodivergent kids, overall mental health, and therapeutic approaches
The key for parents of gamers: accepting video games as ways to promote mindfulness, deep conversations, true interest, growth, skill development, curiosity, and maturity

Resources and Links:

Connect with Derrick Hoard: Website, TikTok, and the Mindful Gaming Podcast

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

96: In Defense of Video Games (for partners of gamers) with Derrick Hoard, LMFT Jun 17, 2024

Show notes

Welcome to Struggle Care, where we talk about all things individual and systemic that affect your life, wellness, and mental health. Joining me is Derrick Hoard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, TikTokker, and video game aficionado. I’ve followed him since 2020, and I love his thoughts and perspectives. Today’s topic, video games and relationships, stirs up some strong reactions and opinions, but you will walk away from this episode with a fresh and thoughtful view of the hobbies we all enjoy in our lives. Let’s get into it!

Show Highlights:

Video games are misunderstood and not recognized for what they are—the most beautiful, immersive forms of storytelling that exist.
Men can get in touch with emotions through playing video games.
Video games get unjustly blamed for communication problems in relationships.
Video games comprise a safe space of non-judgment where one can feel confident and competent.
Thoughts about men in therapy, gender dynamics, and emotional labor
Consideration and honesty in relationships about our hobbies
Society’s expectation of productivity leads us to feel shame and guilt about our hobbies. This is so wrong!
Understanding how to have honest and authenticity in our relationships—from the start
Red flags to look for when video games (or other obsessive hobbies) become our ONLY coping skills in life3

Resources and Links:

Connect with Derrick Hoard: Website, TikTok, and the Mindful Gaming Podcast

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

95: How to Bring Sexy Back with Lindley Gentile, LMFT Jun 10, 2024

Show notes

Do you want to bring sexy back into your life? This concept encompasses much more than actual sex, but it reaches to the inner depths of a woman’s core identity, vitality, and attitudes about life. This episode was prompted by the response to a recent TikTok in which I commented about how I’ve rediscovered things about myself here in my late 30s as my kids are a bit older and I have more time to myself. The response was big, with many questions about what I’ve done. I hate to say that there really is no big secret, but this topic is well worth exploring, so I’m bringing in my good friend, Lindley Gentile, a licensed marriage and family therapist. She is an expert who works specifically with women around rediscovering their sexiness, or perhaps, learning to discover it for the first time.

Show Highlights:

Contributing factors to why women lose their individuality and sexiness
The roles women fall into throughout life’s phases—without any renegotiation with their partner
Sexiness in identity is about MUCH more than having sex.
Being “turned on” is about aliveness, vitality, positivity, and a vibration of your soul.
Care tasks create a barrier to pleasure.
Sex is like a playground for fun and pleasure, and the aging woman can have more fun at the playground.
Aging women, what they wear, and feeling sexy
Sexiness is about energy and how you feel.
False messages from society around fatphobia, suppression, and ideology
Fantasy is a gift and a power that can overcome our tendency to overthink.
Lindley’s starting point with women who want to rediscover their sexiness
Lindley’s recommended reading for every woman: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski

Resources and Links:

Connect with Lindley Gentile: Website, TikTok, and Austin Couples Concierge Counseling

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

94: Making the Outdoors Inclusive with Parker Bushman Jun 03, 2024

Show notes

As usual, we are talking about all things mental health, wellness, and topics that matter to us both individually and systemically. I’m excited to be joined by Parker Bushman, the founder and CEO of Ecoinclusive Strategies and the Inclusive Journeys Guide. Ecoinclusive Strategies is a consulting firm that works with conservation-based organizations, environmental organizations, and nonprofits around diversity, equality, and inclusion. Join us!

Show Highlights:

Nature should be free and accessible to ALL!
The existing disparities in neighborhoods, tree cover, park access, and open spaces
Racist roots of the conservation movement
Messages of elitism among “outdoorsy” people
Things that have been baked into our ideas about who gets to be outside and enjoy it–We need to break down the barriers!
Thoughts about able-ism and outdoor spaces
Parker’s consulting work with organizations doing wildland restoration, community engagement, and DEI work
Building community through engagement, information, collaboration, and empowerment
Systemic issues that prevent outdoor access
Parker’s advice to everyone about finding outdoor activities that you enjoy

Resources and Links:

Connect with Parker Bushman and Ecoinclusive Strategies: Website, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices