Education
**Struggle Care**

A podcast about self-care by a host that hates the term self-care. Therapist KC Davis, author of the book How to Keep House While Drowning talks about mental health, care tasks, and more.

Latest Episodes:

123: Are You an Introvert or is it Social Anxiety? with Natasha Daniels Dec 09, 2024

Show notes

Social anxiety is an interesting topic. Natasha Daniels is a social anxiety therapist and mom who joined us recently to discuss OCD and kids; today, we are exploring another form of anxiety as Natasha helps us understand social anxiety. She wrote a memoir, Out of My Shell, detailing her personal experience.

Show Highlights:

Natasha’s background, personal experience, and book about social anxiety
The neuro-divergent affirming movement
The difference between social anxiety and introversion
Do we ALL have some degree of social anxiety?
Thoughts on “bed rot,” social anxiety, and what’s “normal”
Social anxiety as a defense mechanism
The isolation that comes with social anxiety
OCD, social anxiety, and autism—a common connection?
“A paralyzing fear of others’ perceptions and a preoccupation with managing those perceptions”
The difference between a defense mechanism and a personality trait
An overview of Natasha’s experience with social anxiety and why she wrote her book
Social anxiety is NOT a self-esteem issue.
Outsmarting the negative critic in your head
Dr. Kristin Neff’s concept of “fierce self-compassion,” which is “a feistiness of advocacy”

Resources and Links:

Future Fans:Helping little kids become BIG fans

Connect with Natasha Daniels: Website (and book) and Instagram

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

122: Addressing Sexual Violence on College Campuses is Easier than You Think with Nicole Bedera Dec 02, 2024

Show notes

Today’s topic carries a degree of sensitivity, so consider this a trigger warning if you are sensitive to discussions about sexual assault and sexual harassment. Our focus is on how universities and workplaces are dealing with these issues–and how they can do it better. My guest is Nicole Bedera, a sociologist and author with a Ph.D. Her upcoming debut book is On the Wrong Side: How Universities Protect Predators and Betray Survivors of Sexual Violence.

Show Highlights:

Nicole’s background as a victim advocate in the criminal justice system
College as the entry point into an adulthood of privilege for perpetrators of violence
The biggest challenges for universities regarding sexual violence
Title IX: where it all began in 1980
Punishing perpetrators AND meeting the needs of survivors—can we do both?
Power, punishment, and consequences
Nicole’s surprise when she dug deeper into sexual assault cases
The myth: Sexual violence only happens from evil men.
White supremacy history and sexual assault
Barriers to justice and societal norms
The truth: Perpetrators rarely change their behavior.
The research shows that a lot of men will stop perpetrating IF they know there will be negative consequences.
There is little accountability on college campuses for perpetrators.
The need to create safe spaces for survivors over perpetrators
The Brett Kavanaugh scenario
What we CAN fix to have huge ripple effects

Resources and Links:

Connect with Dr. Nicole Bedera: Website, Twitter, and On the Wrong Sidebook

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

121: What if Children Designed Cities? with Mara Mintzer Nov 25, 2024

Show notes

What if our cities were designed with children participating in the process? What they would prioritize might surprise us all! My guest, Mara Mintzer, did a TEDx talk on the topic of including children in the city planning process, and she’s been involved in this kind of unique child-friendly endeavor in Boulder, Colorado, as the co-founder and Executive Director of Growing Up Boulder. Join us as we take a look at this topic!

Show Highlights:

Mara’s background and current role in Boulder, CO
Public spaces aren’t often designed for children (and mothers).
The United Nations guidelines for human rights for those under 18 years of age
Wisdom from the tiniest voices about slowing down, enjoying the world around us, and noticing our experiences on life’s journey
The Nature Everywhere Initiative in cities across the US
Are we supporting kids’ development with our public spaces?
The value in having culturally relevant third spaces for kids
What would a teen-friendly park look like?
Hearing the voices of many diverse groups that have been traditionally excluded
Feedback from people about what they want in their communities
Promoting involvement from kids to understand their issues and craft workable solutions
A few unexpected things that kids want in their spaces
The dilemma for parents in kid-friendly restaurants with “adult food” AND “kid food”
More relaxed parenting in other countries and better work-life balance

Resources and Links:

Connect with Mara Mintzer: Growing Up Boulder

Mentioned in this episode: The Anxious Generationby Jonathan Haidt

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

120: Going Back To School as an (ADHD) Adult Nov 18, 2024

Show notes

Returning to school as a neurodivergent adult brings unique challenges, and we are discussing all aspects of this topic in today’s episode. I’m joined by “The Neuro-Spicy Student,” Amber, to share her experience and perspective on this topic. Join us!

Show Highlights:

Amber’s “alphabet soup” of diagnoses, misdiagnoses, and disabilities
Amber’s childhood experience in school
Two sides of the coin for most neurodivergent students
Amber’s story of multiple attempts at college and (finally) earning multiple degrees
Internal barriers in returning to school as an adult
A common experience for adults with ADHD: Learning and learning and learning—without formal degrees to show for it
Differences in going to school as an older student with accommodations
Finding empowerment in advocating for yourself–and healing your younger self
Specific accommodations you can ask for in college
Amber’s parting words for listeners considering a return to school

Resources and Links:

Connect with Amber: LinkedIn

Explore more from The Neuro-Spicy Student: Linktree

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

119: How to Have the Best Fight of Your Life with Lindley Gentile, LMFT Nov 11, 2024

Show notes

How are your fighting skills? Most couples could use a LOT of work in this area, and I have just the person to help us! I’m thrilled to be joined by a great friend, Lindley Gentile, for today’s episode. She’s a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who recently wrote an ebook titled, How to Have the Best Fight of Your Life. Listen to our conversation about this thought-provoking topic and learn why looking for right and wrong is the WORST way to handle conflict.

Show Highlights:

Lindley’s motivation to write this book? Because many (most!) couples seek therapy around communication issues
Fighting well leads to being seen well.
The need to uplevel your fighting skill set beyond being “right or wrong”
Ways in which we are fighting wrong
Making the shift from arguing about who’s right to witnessing one another
The fable of the elephant can teach us about being open to another’s experience.
The value of “I” statements over “You” statements
Withdrawing physically and emotionally during conflict vs. the skill of asking for a pause
Fight, flight, or freeze
The WWC framework: witness, witness, and collaborate

Resources and Links:

Connect with Lindley Gentile and Austin Couples Concierge: Website, Instagram, and book

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

118: OCD in Children: When it’s More than Anxiety with Natasha Daniels Nov 04, 2024

Show notes

Today’s episode will be helpful for all parents—and for anyone who has ever been a child. We are discussing OCD, specifically in children, with Natasha Daniels. She has been an anxiety and OCD child therapist for over two decades. As the mother of three kids with anxiety and OCD, her passion and perspective is both professional and personal. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:

OCD differs from general anxiety and requires very specific therapies.
Signs of OCD, a diverse, idiosyncratic disorder that shows up differently for each person
In children, a common sign of OCD is the tendency to ask theme-based, repetitive questions.
Is it anxiety or OCD?
Autism and OCD: Comfort/coping skills or compulsion?
When does my child need professional help? How do I know?
OCD or nervous tics?
A discussion of mental health issues in families, social anxiety, neuroplasticity, and addiction
Finding “the sweet spot” as a parent (so as not to coddle but not fuel anxiety)
The best approach: parents can refuse to participate in the “overblownness” and drama while not being dismissive
The wisdom in coaching our kids

Resources and Links:

Connect with Natasha Daniels: Website (find resources, courses, podcast episodes, and more)

OCD Resources: International OCD Foundation and Treat My OCD

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

117: Private Infant Adoption: Altruistic Act or Human Trafficking? Oct 28, 2024

Show notes

Today’s topic of adoption is a sensitive subject for many people. We are covering adoption from a different perspective as we talk to Stacy, an adult adoptee who belongs to a community of adult adoptees who are vehemently opposed to private infant adoption. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:

Meet Stacy and learn her story
An overview of differing views of adoption through the years (Are new laws needed?)
Examples of laws that are drawing negative feedback from adult adoptees
The expense of private infant adoption and the ethical dilemma of a more systemic problem
The ratio of parents looking to adopt and available infants
A closer look at adoption theology and open adoption
The US system that contributes to the number of desperate pregnant women and creates the perfect storm for exploitation, pressure, and propaganda
What adopted kids need to know
The adoption industry needs a different approach.
The nuances of adoption out of foster care
For many people, adoption into a “nice” family was/is a fantasy.
Stacy’s viewpoint on what to say–and what NOT to say–to adult adoptees
Stacy’s message to adult adoptees

Resources and Links:

Connect with Stacy: TikTok

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

116: Follow Up: California Passes New Family Vlogging Law Oct 21, 2024

Show notes

Today’s episode is a follow-up to Episode 65, The Dark Underside of Family Vlogging, Part 1, which aired almost a year ago. My guest from that episode, Cam, returns to discuss her reaction to a recent big development in the world of family vlogging. Cam grew up as the child of one of the first well-known “Mommy bloggers,” and is an international advocate for the children of influencers and family vloggers. She shares her perspective on the new California law. Join us!

Show Highlights:

Understanding the basics of the Child Content Creator Act in California to protect kids’ rights (similar laws are being passed in Illinois and Minnesota)
Legal ramifications for parents who don’t follow “the 30% rule”
Children on reality TV shows do NOT fall under the new law.
Understanding the Coogan Law
Cam’s perspective on the protections of the law for children—and what she wishes the law included
“The right to forget”: what it means and why it’s not included in the law
Cam’s thoughts about a recent scary cancer diagnosis in light of her past history with vulnerability at the hands of her mom’s vlog
Growing up with NO boundaries or privacy
Laws in CA, IL, and MN to protect kids from being exploited

Resources and Links:

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

115: The Difference Between Bullying and Ordinary Meanness (and why it matters) with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore Oct 14, 2024

Show notes

Today’s episode covers the topics of bullying, meanness, and conflict. My guest is uniquely qualified to share her wisdom and expertise, which she did in a TEDx talk. Bullying or meanness: what’s the difference, and how do we recognize the two? Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:

● Dr. Eileen’s background as a clinical psychologist and author

● The specific criteria in the definition of bullying

● Empowering our kids to withstand meanness without taking a victim stance: “Conflict is inevitable.”

● Bullying has become “a thought-stopping cliche.”

● Meanness and bullying in the online world

● Vulnerability in being a content creator and dealing with feedback

● A better approach with kids: “Whose opinion matters to you?”

● The truth about self-esteem and a “quiet ego”

● Connecting with something greater than ourselves

● Helping kids learn self-compassion rather than self-esteem (Dr. Eileen teaches a “reflect, but downshift” technique in her book, Kid Confidence.)

● Dr. Eileen’s formula for teaching reflection to kids

● “Whose feelings are most important?”

● Validating and normalizing kids’ feelings (by following their lead) by offering empathy and confidence

● Being your kids “biased biographer”

● Learning to “stay in the water” instead of standing on the edge of the pool ● “Testing the water” to pull back on accommodations

Resources and Links:

Connect with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore: Website (Find books for parents and kids!) and Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast,

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

114: Why Budgeting Doesn’t Work (and what to do instead) with Jill Sirianni Oct 07, 2024

Show notes

I have an honest confession to make. I am a terrible budgeter, but I’m a world-class financial goldfish. In this episode, I’ll explain my “financial goldfish” status and budgeting for our neurodiverse brains. I’m joined by Jill Sirianni, host of the Frugal Friends Podcast. If you’re like me, and budgeting just doesn’t work for you, you’ll learn a lot from our conversation. Join us!

Show Highlights:

Characteristics of a financial goldfish
Budgets–the diet of the financial landscape (and they don’t work any more than diets do for most people)
Top reasons we fall victim to impulse buying
The myth of “Wants vs. Needs”
The downfalls of typical antiquated budgeting
Creativity in meeting needs without spending
Jill’s 90-day transaction inventory
Helpful online tools
A moral problem vs. a systemic problem
KC’s helpful hack to be more thoughtful before spending impulsively (like late-night DoorDash)
Jill’s tips for creating a pause before spending: keep a list and buy second-hand
Understanding the marketing behind sales
Making choices about your behavior today that may not align with spending habits held up as the “standard”
Understanding values-based spending
In finances, one size does NOT fit all.

Resources and Links:

Connect with Jill Sirianni and Frugal Friends: Frugal Friends Podcastand Buy What You Love Without Going Brokebook by Jen Smith and Jill Sirianni (pre-order now!)

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book,How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices