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    Games & Hobbies

    Square Roots – THE Classic RPG Podcast

    Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through a chunkerino of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they’re the fun kind of dumb, and that’s what counts.

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    Latest Episodes:
    Final Fantasy VII Part 8 - A Very Mac and Me Moment Apr 13, 2020
    Show notes

    Tifa pushes Cloud straight into the Lifestream in this exposition-packed episode! So much happens! A great train robbery! A submarine chase! A fight against a Mecha Godzilla! Locky Tugglebug! Felicity explodes with Cloverfield eggs! Johnny gets angry about Dante's Peak! Meat Dave! And of course Giant Fetal Position Cloud.

    This Week: We ride on a rocket! Next Week: We fight Hojo!

    Our Patreon: patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

    Thanks to Tetrimino for letting us use their fantastic mix of J-E-N-O-V-A and Birth of a God!

    Check out Tetrimino on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TetriminoVGBand Tetrimino on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TetriminoVGBand Search for Tetrimino on Patreon as TetriminoVGBand!

    Contact Square Roots!

    Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Final Fantasy VII Part 7 - Filling Aeris's Dress With Rocks Apr 06, 2020
    Show notes

    THE THING HAPPENS. The thing! You know! SNOWBOARDING. Also? We try and figure out if Cloud is a 5 year old clone. About three hours of cut scenes. Sephiroth and Hojo tell you stuff that may or may not be true. Jim remembers a fish that possibly doesn't exist. The clown reunion. Don't worry, the Planet is monitoring the situation.

    This Week: We finish our first visit to THE CRATER. Next Week: We ride on a rocket!

    Our Patreon: patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

    Thanks to Tetrimino for letting us use their fantastic mix of J-E-N-O-V-A and Birth of a God!

    Check out Tetrimino on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TetriminoVGBand Tetrimino on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TetriminoVGBand Search for Tetrimino on Patreon as TetriminoVGBand!

    Contact Square Roots!

    Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Final Fantasy 7 Mailbag! Apr 01, 2020
    Show notes

    Hi friends! Everyone wants to talk about Final Fantasy 7, and our episodes have been running real long, so have a mailbag episode! Topics include: belts and suspenders, Tifa, dreams about smooching celebrities, ranking various Final Fantasy games, and so much more!

    Final Fantasy VII Part 6 - The Bone Zone Mar 30, 2020
    Show notes

    This episode is just chock full of bonkers moments from a very, very bonkers JRPG. Questions include: was Genesis Rhapsodos a member of Organization XII? Was Palmer Final Destination'd? Can a plane be a boat? What's an upstairs and downstairs treasure, really? Why does Aeris hide behind trees so badly? AND SO MANY MORE.

    This Week: We complete the Temple of the Ancients! Next Week: We finish our first visit to THE CRATER.

    Our Patreon: patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

    Thanks to Tetrimino for letting us use their fantastic mix of J-E-N-O-V-A and Birth of a God!

    Check out Tetrimino on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TetriminoVGBand Tetrimino on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TetriminoVGBand Search for Tetrimino on Patreon as TetriminoVGBand!

    Contact Square Roots!

    Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Final Fantasy VII Part 5 - Did Sephiroth Do This? Mar 23, 2020
    Show notes

    This week on a big, large, huge episode of Square Roots we ask: what happened to our first recording of this episode? Who doesn't love the pep? Why don't we all go to the Gun Arm Emporium? Who is better than Bette Midler? Will you smash like and subscribe on a lifestream livestream? Which Paul Verhoeven movie is the best? What even is Cait Sith?

    This Week: We find the secret of Cosmo Canyon! Next Week: We complete the Temple of the Ancients!

    Our Patreon: patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

    Thanks to Tetrimino for letting us use their fantastic mix of J-E-N-O-V-A and Birth of a God!

    Check out Tetrimino on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TetriminoVGBand Tetrimino on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TetriminoVGBand Search for Tetrimino on Patreon as TetriminoVGBand!

    Contact Square Roots!

    Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Scare Roots - Dead Space Mar 18, 2020
    Show notes

    Hey! We're all having a pretty rough month so this special episode of Scare Roots was brought back from the deeeeeeeeead. Johnny, Jim and Doctor Steve Stone play through this terrifying tale of mankind's hubris!

    We hope you like it.

    Final Fantasy VII Part 4 - No Down Side Mar 16, 2020
    Show notes

    Matthew is on assignment for this chunker as we dig down into mid section of Disc 1. How long is this disc anyhow? Features of this chunker include: stealing from baby birds, a bit of Barret's back story, a chocobo dance number, Jim's Summon Review Corner, and possibly the worst minigame of all time.

    This Week: We reach North Coral and prep to get on the Gold Saucer tram! Next Week: We find the secret of Cosmo Canyon!

    Our Patreon: patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

    Thanks to Tetrimino for letting us use their fantastic mix of J-E-N-O-V-A and Birth of a God!

    Check out Tetrimino on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TetriminoVGBand Tetrimino on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TetriminoVGBand Search for Tetrimino on Patreon as TetriminoVGBand!

    Contact Square Roots!

    Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Final Fantasy VII Part 3 - That's Mrs. Eyeball Nipple Mar 09, 2020
    Show notes

    Final Fantasy VII Part 3 - That's Mrs. Eyeball Nipple

    Another great debate: Does Jenova has an eyeball or nipple? On this week's episode: we do a terrible climing section, a million puzzle rooms, climb some stairs, DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE UP AND DOWN SOME STAIRS, meet the wonderful Mr. Palmer, Vanessa develops feelings for Reeve, meet a puppycat, and Johnny gets heckled. Also: Sephiroth's Martha moment.

    This Week: We escape Midgar and head to Kalm! Next Week: We reach North Coral and prep to get on the Gold Saucer tram.

    Our Patreon: patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

    Thanks to Tetrimino for letting us use their fantastic mix of J-E-N-O-V-A and Birth of a God!

    Check out Tetrimino on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TetriminoVGBand Tetrimino on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TetriminoVGBand Search for Tetrimino on Patreon as TetriminoVGBand!

    Contact Square Roots!

    Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Final Fantasy VII Part 2 - Don't Actually Do It, It's Fine Mar 02, 2020
    Show notes

    IT'S THE WALL MARKET! THE BEST CHUNKER OF ANY JRPG EVER! In this episode: Cloud explores his gender identity and sexuality, we witness the death of the Cat Slide, Tseng politely attempts to kidnap Aeris, Vanessa's custom lockers in the Square Roots house, and Daddy's So Lonely.

    This Week: We escape the destruction of Sector 7! Next Week: We escape Midgar and head to Kalm!

    Our Patreon: patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

    Thanks to Tetrimino for letting us use their fantastic mix of J-E-N-O-V-A and Birth of a God!

    Check out Tetrimino on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TetriminoVGBand Tetrimino on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TetriminoVGBand Search for Tetrimino on Patreon as TetriminoVGBand!

    Contact Square Roots!

    Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

    Final Fantasy VII Part 1 - All Around Me Are Familiar Faces Feb 24, 2020
    Show notes

    TWO HUNDRED EPISODES! How do we celebrate? By getting all nostalgic for the blocky lil' LEGO friends of Final Fantasy VII! In this chunker: President Shinra negs Cloud, we ride a pinball machine, Tifa has many outfits, Johnny tries to decipher all of Cloud's bizarre flashes and flashbacks, and body pillow requests!

    This Week: We blow up the Sector 5 reactor and get to the Wall Market in Final Fantasy VII! Next Week: We escape the destruction of Sector 7!

    Our Patreon: patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

    Thanks to Tetrimino for letting us use their fantastic mix of J-E-N-O-V-A and Birth of a God!

    Check out Tetrimino on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TetriminoVGBand Tetrimino on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TetriminoVGBand Search for Tetrimino on Patreon as TetriminoVGBand!

    Contact Square Roots!

    Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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