So, Here's My Story... - TopPodcast.com

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Ep89: Delegation Disaster Mar 05, 2019

Show notes

A simple holiday trip to Grandma’s house teaches us a lot about delegating and the balance between micromanaging and full autonomy in this episode.

Why is that important for business?

There are two traps at either end of managing people and delegating responsibility that can both be problematic:

1. Not making space for the story of them to evolve and micromanaging them, or;

2. Giving them full autonomy, perhaps before they are ready or developed for that responsibility.

So how do navigate this fine line?

Often, a great first place to look are at the stakes of the project. Look for low and medium stakes issues to delegate – areas that you can leave room for some autonomy, and even some failure, because they can be repaired or fixed if a problem occurs. Like in parenting, if you want your team to be able to handle disappointment or frustration, you have to let them be disappointed or frustrated. If you want to delegate, you must first let people have low stakes failures and allow them to develop. You have to let employees have space to learn by doing, but it doesn’t have to be a binary choice between micromanagement and hands off.

The projects or tasks that you delegate should also help them appreciate the impact of mistakes and have an insight into the larger pictures. Mindless busy work can be delegated, but it doesn’t help them develop a sense of responsibility that tasks that are clearly tied to the next step will.

Besides the stakes, you want to consider the impact of the project you want to delegate – who will a failure impact? If it’s important customers, that is something you want to observe more carefully.

At some point, you also have to consider that well-delegated tasks are a good litmus test for assessing someone’s strengths and suitability. It is important as a manager to recognize what is important to the staff member, and recognize the skill sets they have and where they work well. They might not be suited for the tasks you want to delegate.

The best way to move into delegation is to make sure people can change the sentiment of “you’re right” to the sentiment of “that’s right”. Pay attention to what part of delegation you get stuck on, and what part they can help you with from the other side. Notice what role the story you have of that person plays into your delegation experience.

And lastly, if you delegate a lot, and it always fails, maybe the problem is you.

Resource mentioned

The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, Wendy Mogel, PhD https://www.wendymogel.com/books/item/the_blessing_of_a_skinned_knee
The Price of Privilege, Madeline Levine, PhD https://madelinelevine.com/the-price-of-privilege/

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Ep88: Be Creative NOW Feb 26, 2019

Show notes

What behaviors are you encouraging and measuring in your business? Are those behaviors actually creating the results you want? It might just be that you are building an environment where your people are learning to game the system instead of achieving the results you are looking for. And that’s exactly what we’re talking about in this episode.

Why is that important for business?

In lots of organizations, people are judged by things that may be completely irrelevant to what the organization is trying to attain. It can be easy for a company to focus on the wrong thing, and not measure what they think they are. It is important to ask yourself: are the behaviors that I am noticing, acknowledging and maybe even rewarding the behaviors that I really care about? And are they leading to the outcomes that I really care about? It is especially important to note that hours aren’t necessarily reflective of productivity. When businesses create incentive programs, they often end up incentivizing the wrong behavior.

It is also important to consider how your organization deals with outliers – people who can win for you, if you let them do things in their own way. You cannot make creativity uniform. Sometimes the right who comes with their own how, and you can’t leave them with no room to navigate with what they bring to the table.

The more effective tactic is often to describe the expected outcome clearly and let them come up with a method that works for them.

Resource mentioned

Watch Les Nessman from WKRP set some office boundaries: https://youtu.be/SkP9DKnOgn0

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Ep87: Becoming Your Own Captain Feb 19, 2019

Show notes

What do you do when the gum of your business loses its flavour? Our special guest, Andrew Torrez of Opening Arguments https://openargs.com/, helps us explore the idea of forging a new path and embracing the version of your business that makes you the happiest. And for that, he gets a gold star.

Why is that important for business?

Finding your own way of doing things is a critical aspect of creating a satisfying and successful business, especially when you feel like you were set on a path early on. When you suddenly find yourself without someone to give you an ‘A’ or a gold star, you have to find a way to replace that validation with a different kind of satisfaction. There comes a point in your profession where you realize you cannot just be a passenger, but you have to become the captain of your own ship. You are responsible for steering your ship. You get to choose your own gold star.

Creating a path out of a pre-existing template involves a lot of “eating the fish, spitting out the bones” kind of examination. When you are feeling dissatisfied, instead of simply dumping your whole profession in a fit of binary displeasure, it is more helpful to use the parts you do and don’t like to do some course correction.

No matter where you work and what you do, there is an opportunity to shape and carve your own path in a way that is uniquely yours. So many professions tell themselves stories about what they are supposed to be, then feel trapped in that story. But you forget that you get to write your own story.

As your discontent starts to broil, you are ready to shed a skin and make a bit of a shift. If you sit on that discontent and stew in it, it gets harder and harder to change. But if you notice and look for breadcrumbs of where to shift, then it is never too late to change what your profession can look like. You can shape the edges to more accurately reflect what you want to bring to your profession without overhauling your entire life.

There is comfort in having a simple job description. But there can be great happiness in embracing a business that is harder to describe, but accurately represents you.

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Ep86: Intentional Failure Feb 12, 2019

Show notes

As you can imagine, the process of learning to do a headstand is a challenging thing. But did you know that it can also lead to a powerful business metaphor about commitment and failure?

There is a huge difference, in yoga and in business, between failing to succeed, and failing to try, and that’s the topic of this week’s story.

Why is that important for business?

When learning to do a headstand, the only way you don’t risk going all the way over is if you didn’t commit to going all the way up. If you aren’t regularly falling over, you need to take a look at your relationship with commitment.

But not just in yoga – this shows up in business.

There is an inherent truth that talks about the relationship between commitment and failure in business. Part of this is examining that there is more than one kind of failure. Some failures we take as inherent parts of the process – they don’t daunt us. Another kind of failure might feel riskier – more vulnerable – and it might look more spectacular. But the truth is, the former often gives evidence of a lack of commitment, whereas the latter gives evidence of an actual effort that simply requires more work or a few tweaks.

How often are we failing because we are not really committing?

For instance, last week we talked about branding. Had Rachel watered down and half committed to her branding, it may have failed. That’s a different kind of failure – the failure of half measures - that we are unfortunately quite comfortable with. What we should do instead is celebrate the failures that are intrinsic to truly trying. When you give it your all, you get valuable feedback that you can fix or tweak; you will never be able to work with, fix or tweak if you don’t give the effort in the first place.

Another key lesson we learn from this yoga story is about making it safe to fail. There are things you can do with your environment that make it a little safer to swing for the fences and make bigger commitments. Part of making it safe involves strong leadership in training. Training involves asking yourself, “which part do you need them to get at the moment?” Yes, you might need them to know everything, but you can’t teach – or learn – everything at once. Being more myopically focused on what the building block right now they need to get so that you can teach the next thing is more useful.

This also means your company has to be comfortable with a high degree of failure. You have to create an environment that allows for the level of commitment it requires to grow. Sometimes, the leader has to be willing to be the support wall in the headstand, to allow their people to explore how far effort needs to go.

Note: If you are in the Baltimore area, check out the class Jodi mentions: Jamal Pender at Movement Lab https://classpass.com/classes/movement-lab-baltimore/budokon-yoga

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Ep85: Speak Volumes in an Instant Feb 05, 2019

Show notes

We were inspired to look at the business of our 50th Facebook member for business inspiration, and she didn’t disappoint. Rachel’s strong brand identity gives us an important reminder to look our own business’ identity. And hopefully, this will serve as your reminder to do the same!

Why is that important for business?

A strong brand immediately tells people, “this is who I am and these are who my people are”. Instead of speaking to everyone, a strong brand speaks to the people you most love to work with. After all, your ideal client shouldn’t be 6 billion people.

A strong brand represents who you are, but more than that, who the business is. If the business was a person, it is that business’ personality and shape. The furthest reaches of integrity in branding is when you make a bold stand about who you are and who your company is.

Yet, while there are so many dangers to deciding who you are based on a poll, you also don’t want to pick a personality for your business just for personality’s sake.

One of the best places to look when doing an audit of how well your business reflects its personality is the physical environment. If you thought of those clients that you would fight to keep (previous episode https://soheresmystory.com/ep52-the-business-sommelier/) – your ideal clients – what message do you want to send them, and people like them, with your space? Find the right feel for the energetic space you want someone to be in, and then do what you can to create that feeling in your environment.

And here's a link to the infamous BLUE HAIR: https://www.facebook.com/jodihume/videos/10154264639209780/

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Ep84: Pacing For The Long Run Jan 29, 2019

Show notes

What can you learn about business through learning to run? We have a special cohost this week, and she teaches us an important lesson about regular check-ins, pacing, and starting small.

If you are struggling to hit your business goals, maybe it’s time to take a lesson from a somewhat reluctant new runner!

Why is that important for business?

Julie’s story about learning to run gave us a lot of business lessons:

Learning to run 12 miles doesn’t start with a 12 mile run. Much like in business, you aren’t going to have as much luck getting a new client to sign up for your super-deluxe package as you are starting small. There is a gradual process, in running and in business, of getting to where you want to be. You need to have an awareness of what it takes to get people started; to get them in the door and to say yes to something. If you want to sell them Z, you have to know what the A is that would get them started. Meet your clients where they are and give them something they can say yes to.

Pacing is critical to success. You need to not only know what your pace is, but what is important and what stake you are trying to claim at the moment. For different goals, there are different paces. We don’t ascribe to the “if you aren’t growing, you’re dying” philosophy of business (link to this episode https://soheresmystory.com/ep29-cancer-kudzu/) – you need to find the pace that works for you, for your goals.

And it helps to keep pace with someone at your level – you need people to talk to in business who are working at the same pace you are, but who also have goals that are in sync with yours.

Like the coach who cheers you on in the final half mile, it’s important to identify where your customer or your team might be flagging or fatiguing and setting up support at those points. Link to past episode https://soheresmystory.com/ep73-i-would-have-hired-you-but/ Ask yourself, “where are your people feeling the weight of what they are up against, and how can you support them at that point to keep going?”

You need feedback and check-ins throughout the process, not just as a year-end review. Whether it is running 12 miles or hitting a business target, you are more likely to accomplish your goal if you check-in with your team at every stages.

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Ep83: When The Customer Needs to Hear NO Jan 22, 2019

Show notes

Going into an audition as an actor, you have to make a decision about how you are going to play a character. You can play it as you think the director wants to see it, or you can make your own choices about who the character is.

Turns out, taking on a new client as a business owner is a lot like being an actor at an audition.

In this episode, we ask, “when do you need to say ‘no’ to a client?”

Why is that important for business?

Just like in acting, the secret to success could very well be making a clear, early choice about who you are and what you do. When you are the trusted advisor that someone is relying on, part of what they are buying is your expertise and your insight. In trying to please the client, you can’t ignore your own perspective.

Sometimes, the key is to go for the “no”. No is a magical word. As an expert, it is often incumbent on you to say, “no, that’s not the way we are going to go”. But in taking that stand, you have to be willing to either walk away or do it the client’s way if they don’t agree with your perspective. There comes a point that the customer has a limitation that they won’t move on, and that also has to be okay. This is why it is important to take a stance of “committed but not attached” - you are merely committing to giving your expert view, but not attached to how they respond to it.

It requires some bravery to being willing to not get every job, and to get over the insecurity of appearing wrong. It is daunting to take a stand, and you should make sure it is a stand you believe in.

Resources mentioned

Jason Momoa does the Haka for his Game of Throne’s audition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dE786RERGE

What story do you want to tell?

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Ep82: Priority Hack Jan 15, 2019

Show notes

Most businesses dream about having their best year ever. But that doesn’t mean it comes without new problems and without competing priorities. There’s a limit to what you can say no to and still have the full life you want, and this episode is all about finding a way to have it all – even if it involves mall-walking.

Why is that important for business?

When you spend a lot of time in your business, you might find other priorities suffer. Conventional wisdom might have you deciding which of your priorities you have to say no to. But a fulfilling life only has room for so many noes.

Perhaps you can blend priorities instead. This isn’t just about “two birds, one stone”; it’s about making each individual priority even more effective by finding a way to combine them. This can especially work with combining physical activity with stimulating business conversations. A lot of creative things happen in the white space, so why not build it in?

In the book, “Total Leadership”, Stewart Friedman talks about how we have all of these circles of priorities in life, and the more you can overlap them, the better things will be. This ability to overlap is a next level hack for making the most out of the time we have here.

There is also something to be said about not blending too much. This isn’t about multitasking – there are things that want your undivided full attention. But the discipline of scanning for opportunities to combine things together in a way that makes each individual thing more fun allows you to have a fuller life. It also ups their individual priority level.

This is about more than simply not giving into the idea of competing priorities. The real value is that it provides greater meaning and significance to each priority. It is the art to using one priority to support another priority, like legs on a stool – add another leg and the stool becomes more stable. The more you use priorities to support each other, the more likely you are to accomplish all of them.

Side note about tough conversations: There is something about having important conversations shoulder-to-shoulder instead of face-to-face. It can give a little space for detachment from the rawness, making it easier to be brave about something you weren’t brave about before. It can bring comfort to both the speaker and the listener – in a difficult conversation, the speaker might not want the listener to see how vulnerable the conversation is, but there is also shelter for the listener to process.

Resources mentioned

Total Leadership, Stewart Friedman, http://www.totalleadership.org/books/total-leadership-5/

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Ep81: Business Karaoke Jan 08, 2019

Show notes

A night of karaoke might not seem like the most logical place for an epiphany about company culture. But that’s the beautiful thing about using stories to talk about business – you never know from where the lesson will come.

Why is that important for business?

To get everyone to participate in karaoke, you very well might have to build that expectation into the party – an “everyone must sing” rule. Otherwise, you will get a Ringer Circus, where instead of a fun night, you have a series of performances by people already confident in their singing. But if you make it safe and important for everyone to participate, it becomes fun for everyone. The same can be true about the culture you create in business. Yes, it’s important to reward and highlight people who do a good job – to elevate talent – but if you only focus on the people who are naturally good at things, who naturally raise their hand, you will miss a whole other layer of energy, talent and fun that won’t show up otherwise.

A culture that prizes and values - and even insists upon the addition of - every single voice is one that is enriched by each voice, not just those that are inclined to come forward immediately. This is a wonderful thing to build a culture around. What you need to consider, though, are the people who don’t show up to the party because of the “everyone must sing” rule. The rule may very well enrich the experience of everyone at the party and brings out hidden facets of the people who attend. But it is also true that the presence of the rule comes with the cost of keeping out people who would come if they didn’t have to participate. This is absolutely fine, as long as you have evaluated the unintended consequence. After all, a well-defined culture accepts that some people will say “this isn’t for me”. The tricky part is deciding what issue you are going to draw a bright line around; what issue makes the cost of exclusion worth it.

Of course, if you are not careful, you can build “Participation Trophy” culture. Creating space for everyone to participate doesn’t preclude celebrating success and giving feedback. But there is something magical that happens when you find this weird mix of forcing people to be vulnerable in a relentlessly supportive environment.

Identifying the biggest fear or obstacle to participation and creating a culture that eliminates that fear can yield some hidden treasures. If you create a space where it’s okay to fail or not be perfect, then someone can speak up and give the germ of a potentially incredible idea.

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Ep80: Ever Been Business Depressed Dec 18, 2018

Show notes

Motivation – Morning Routine

This week, Jodi and Eliot talk about how motivation and routine are linked, and what filing cabinets and pit stops on a race track have to do with business.

Why is routine important for business?

When we are especially busy or stressed, it is easy to forget to do, or convince ourselves we don’t have time to do, the very things that keep us centered. And it is only in returning to those routines that we find ourselves able to navigate the work effectively again. Even though absolutely nothing might change, the way you see those things in your business or life changes.

Interestingly, the things we tend to skip when we are busy are literally the things that help our brain to work its best – down time, sleep, exercise and good eating. These are critical for your work, yet the things that you often cut first.

You have to be able to step outside of the experience you hare having and contextualize it. Clues that you need to recalibrate before continuing can be when it feels hard or slogging or like nothing is fun, but you have to learn your own cues.

Far more harm is done than good by stepping over our own vulnerabilities.

Poll Quotes

Be around people who remind you where the spark is.

You need to not only understand your own low fuel” indicator, but also what fuel goes in your tank.

What about you?

So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours!

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