Slop Quest

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Slop Quest 90 White Water Drafting Aug 04, 2025

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Full episodes and more available at Patreon.com/SlopQuest

Ryan’s brain is mush and Andy recounts a harrowing soup kitchen story where church ladies go nuts to some sweet ragtime jams. Then the boys try to rewrite the character of Oscar The Grouch in a more realistic manner. Ryan gets worried that his bad signing is a sign of a bad life and Andy tries to reassure him. Ryan and Ari play with a war hero’s medals and then use an old car to play Driving Miss Daisy then Andy tries to dissect what these ding dongs are getting out of this vacation role play. Andy recounts the joys of “Civil War Day” at his elementary school and the ridiculous outfits kids wore. O’Neill tries to understand the South’s obsession with the Confederacy. Then the boys dive into some Epstein talk and they talk about his aliens tricked humans into thinking gold was valuable.

Slop Quest 89 Pee Shiddy Jul 28, 2025

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The boys get a five star review for their podcast but it’s just about Andy getting lead poisoning from his Stanley Thermos. This leads them to talk about the powers unleashed by getting slightly dumber every year. Ryan talks about penises as a sales tactic to get people to “pay the gay away” by joining Patreon. Then they talk about plastic army men being found in semen. Andy hits the Dollar Store for Yardley’s soap and gets roasted for it. Then they develop a soap for wieners only. Andy thinks the nation is stress eating dollar store candy. Then the boys talk about the Diddy trial and taking a rickshaw to the airport. Then there’s a little Bailey Jay/Buck Angle talk and O’Neill gets confused. Then they talk about the old Popular Science videos about which machines rip your dick off. Then O’Neill tries to pay Andy for voice over work with cookies. Then they reminisce about Paula Dean as O’Neill tries to remember what happened to her. Then they talk about delusional treasure hunters. Then Burt invents a “camping toilet” and hires Andy to draw his invention but Burt focuses too much on unimportant details.

Slop Quest 88 Nun of Yo Biznass! Jul 21, 2025

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Ryan reveals how women are hanging out with nuns instead of wearing thongs at the beach. Andy finds out that E-Girls are pretending to be femboys in order to get more followers on Only Fans and when the secret gets out everyone rages. Then Ryan comes up with a new scam where he dresses as a nun to bang chicks. Then they come up with a pitch for Sister Act 3 based on this premise. Andy finds out that out that Russel Crowe is trying to kickstart a music career and the comments are amazing. This makes O’Neill lament the downward trajectory of Bruce Willis’ movie career. Then they pitch an idea for Ryan called “Cool Navy Seal”. There’s some Bezos wedding talk then they create a Delta Premium Gooner’s Lounge. Andy goes to Medieval Times, enjoys the food but has a bone to pick with the show. The O’Neill creates some Wild West names for fans.

Slop Quest 87 Liver Queen Jul 15, 2025

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Andy is finally right about some news as he breaks the Liver King arrest to O’Neill. A fan of Andrew’s art asks him to design a landslide. Ryan says disturbing things on a major podcast while hammered and fans reach out to Andy. Ryan gets a terrible lap dance. Andy talks about the creative powers of dreams and Ryan can actually sing Billy Joel. Hertz comes up with a new scam to fuck over customers. Then there’s some Tucker Carlson talk as well as National Eggs and Analingus Day. Then there’s another red pill deep dive that enrages O’Neill.

Slop Quest 86 David Lee Slop Jul 09, 2025

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O’Neill gets so bored hanging out with David Lee Roth after spending 3 months with him and hearing the stories he has left to tell after all his rock n roll tales run dry. Then Andy mourns the loss of one of the world’s worst comedy road dogs who lived down the street from him in Chicago. The boys then talk about the “riot” situation in Los Angeles and how ridiculous the news reporting on it. O’Neill shares his proposal story with and Andy recounts how Pancakes tried to get him to spend $10k on an engagement ring. The Ryan talks about preserving dead husband’s wieners for bereaved wives. Andy finds an “Am I Overreacting” about body hair shaming on Reddit and it drives O’Neill crazy. The boys float the idea of not letting people work until they’re 25. Then they create a restaurant where serves make change with different cuts of meat. O’Neill visits the Bunny Ranch and gets incredibly depressed. Then they come up with an idea to keep people safe in gang violence situations. The Andy finds one of the most pathetic Married Redpill posts of all time and O’Neill absolutely eats it all up and roasts the guy into oblivion.

Slop Quest 85 $1000 Avocado Jun 30, 2025

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Full Episodes Available on Patreon.com/SlopQuest

Andy finds all the parts to his old Stanley Thermos and is far too excited. Ryan reveals that Ozempic makes the pee pee bigger. Then Andy promises “no more dog shit ideas”. Also, he experiences a harrowing bout of sleep paralysis. Then they find out that the Atari 2600 can beat AI at chess. Then they write a sci-fi story called Race Car 3039: The Future is Gay. They also play with the idea of a Costco airline. Then O’Neill reveals the true building blocks of comedy. Then “Bad Boy Andrew” makes an appearance to shit on O’Neill’s ideas instead of vice versa and O’Neill can’t get enough.

Slop quest 84 On The Spectrum of Death Jun 23, 2025

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full episodes at Patreon.com/SlopQuest

Every week comedians Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill take current and historical events and spin them into outrageous screenplay pitches and business ideas. This week they consider starting their own “horny Slop Quest” religion. Then O’Neill wants to rent an abandoned skyscrapers but gets worried about hidden creepers. Then the boys talk about how easy it is to be a ceo in today’s environment. The they talk about making the White House into a reality show. Then Andy reveals an infuriating “Am I Overreacting “. O’Neill is flabbergasted by the choices Ben Afflek makes in the new Accountant sequel. They offer up some compelling relationship advice. O’Neill tries to rip one on the sly but gets caught out immediately. Then Ryan tries to hype up a 200 year old condom. Andy finds out about a 711 using opera to drive off homeless people. One of Andy’s Chicago buddies tries to pay a stripper’s rent and bankrupts himself. Then they help out a listener who’s going through a break up. Then they revisit the 80’s classic “Soul Man”. Then Ryan gets too vulnerable and Andy roasts him.

Slop Quest 83 Lion Attack Marketing Jun 16, 2025

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Ryan was kept up all night by a mysterious alarm and this causes them to create a new business website called WifeDoctor.com. Andy goes to the Water World Stunt Spectacular and sits in the “soak” seats but remains bone dry. Kevin Costner makes an extremely poor directing choice and gets roasted by the boys for like 30 minutes. Then they come up with a business where they add sexy b-roll to random movies to “spice ‘em up”. Ryan gets attacked by a tiger in India. Then a lion kills a guy after he goes to the bathroom. This causes the boys to formulate a meal that would produce a diarrhea so powerful it would scare off a n apex predator. Then realistic baby dolls take over Brazilian hospitals and Ryan gets out Frank Britton Rickettes. Then they address the TRT epidemic taking over 50 year old men. Andy gets real about his binge eating and it’s hilarious.

Slop Quest 82 Lead Bundy Jun 09, 2025

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This week, they reminisce about Kevin Spacey in K-Pax and an old classmate of Andy’s hilarious drama class monologue choices. O’Neill gets accused of loving golf and laments the enshittification of Las Vegas. Santa Monica passes open container laws, and it’s gonna get crazy. Andy’s buddy Burt makes an accidentally homophobic Super Hero sketch. Then the boys talk about how Los Angeles needs more “idea guys”. An amazing business idea crops up when the boys come up with a pumpkin-based children’s book for adults. Andy talks about the origin of “Jingle Bells Batman Smells”. O’Neill worries that a cartoon they are making together is too “pedestrian,” and it completely baffles Andy. Then Andy exposes O’Neill for making friends with different marginalized groups so he can do bits without worrying. O’Neill then tries to big time his nephew with a local softball bat commercial voiceover gig. Then Andy finds out about a man who spent $600 of his girlfriend’s money on a cellphone Gacha game. Then they dissect the tragic downfall of the Findom community.

Slop Quest 81: AI Blackmail Jun 02, 2025

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Full Episode on Patreon.com/Slopquest

Every week comedians Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill take current and historical events and spin them into outrageous screenplay pitches and business ideas. On this episode the boys dissect the newest AI catastrophe and come up with a new Christian Karate based business strategy to help people karate chop away sin.

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