Slop Quest

Latest Episodes:

Slop Quest 80 Unmad May 26, 2025

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Full Episode on Patreon.com/SlopQuest

Every week comedians Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill take current and historical events and spin them into outrageous screenplay pitches and business ideas. Ryan is back from Austin, where the comedy is great and the city is…fine. Then O’Neill praises the homeless public masturbators of Texas. Andy finds a Silicon Valley executive who’s trying to create his own scam religion. Then the boys try to figure out if anal causes permanent damage and O’Neill makes a strange new promise. Then the boys come up with a plan to save zoomer chicks from a fate worse than death.

Slop Quest 79 Goon Blade May 19, 2025

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Full Episode on Patreon.com/SlopQuest

Every week comedians Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill take current and historical events and spin them into outrageous screenplay pitches and business ideas. The boys open up with some reminiscing about how hot that crazy chick who saw a fake person on the plane was. Then Andy brings in a Harbor Freight survival knife and gets roasted non-stop by O’Neill. The boys talk about the overall plan of all presidents in America. Then they invent an amazing new survival product called “The Goon Blade”. O’Neill tries to remember the melody to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and absolutely butchers it. Then we present a new segment: “O’Neill Tries To Remember The Bible”.

Slop Quest 78: Rippers May 12, 2025

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Full Episodes at Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan opens the episode with a good old fashioned fart in a small, closed room. Then there’s some Machu Pichu talk and O’Neill can’t get over when it was built. They talk ultra light planes for bit. O’Neill gets food poisoning and tries to pitch dessert subs to Andy but he blows the pitch by farting in the room while talking about food. Then the some boys plan a museum/ gallery exhibit and O’Neill rehearses his Terry Gross interview style. Deportations hit home for Andy. Then they tighten up their pitch for the Peter Pan Exorcist and flesh out all the fixins of the movie.

Slop Quest 77: Demon Under Glass May 05, 2025

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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest

The Pope has passed on and the boys have some theories about it. Then Andy’s friend takes someone on a tour of a shady under the boardwalk secret club. Andy finds some movies on Tubi that O’Neill can’t get enough of. Ryan has a detailed medical report of the leg lengthening procedure that’s sweeping the nation’s short kings. Andy eats too much weed and it keeps him up all night. O’Neill has a huge problem with this especially when he finds out that the main reason Andy couldn’t sleep was seeing a picture of a demon trapped in glass on Reddit.

Slop Quest 76: Earthquake! Apr 28, 2025

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full episode available at patreon.com/slopquest

O’Neill gets mad when someone doesn’t know what the term “gooner’ means. Then Andrew dissociates at a Rite Aid. Then the boys talk about the perfect legal judge for their podcast. O’Neill leaves a bunch of .357 ammo all over the apartment and Andrew ones up with a lube based gum for oral sex. Then there’s a legit Earthquake during the podcast . They deep dive on height length surgeries now that there’s more data. Andy explains Catholic sex rules to O’Neill and they look for loopholes in language and O’Neill tries to convince Andy that all nuns are secretly horny. Then they talk about national IQ scores and try to break down 3hat that means for the world. Then Andy gets mad at the state of O’Neill’s recording studio. Then the boys make a new movie pitch that’s got unbelievable legs to it.

Slop Quest 75: Good Morning Boys & Girls! Apr 21, 2025

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Full episodes here: Patreon.com/slopquest

Andy welcomes everyone to the show and talks about a kid’s YouTube channel that is so stupid it makes kids non-verbal. Ryan gets an outrageous Venmo request and they try to come up with heartstring pulling Venmo scams. Then they talk Less Than Zero and eyebrow mites. Then the boys talk about airport spaghetti and meatballs from DFW 711. Then the boys diagnose American bowel movements in the Great British Dump off. O’Neill brags about his Cambodian dumps and Andy worries about the Khmer Rouge hiding in toilets with machetes. Then O’Neill is still angry at Arnold Schwarzenegger for banging his dumpy maid. Then they try to figure out the sex lives of conjoined twins and that tiny lady from TLC has a new boyfriend.

Slop Quest 74: Summertime Randy Apr 14, 2025

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full episode at Patreon.com/slopquest

Rats are at war with crows in Southern California. Ryan tells Andy what “Hotwifing” js and they weigh in on the pros and cons. Then Andy’s wife has a message for O’Neill…about how much she loves the Jamaican Me Horny Spring Break album. Then O’Neill promises to never censor himself or conform to ridiculous societal norms. Then they talk about what’s really inside the Ark of the Covenant. Andy exposes Reiki Healing as a scam through a Reddit post. Then they pitch an action wartime drama called Dog B*mb that’s so good YouTube cuts their live stream.

Slop Quest 73: Up All Night Andy Apr 07, 2025

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Listen to the full episode Patreon.com/slopquest

Ryan accuses Andy of staying up all night partying. Then Andy gets a new electrical panel and the results are hilarious. Then there’s some bathrobe related neighborhood shenanigans going on and Ryan won’t let Andy play with some new toys he got for her nieces and nephews. Then Andy tells Ryan about the Chinese Sherlock Holmes, “The Honorable Judge Dee”, who solves mysteries by torturing people and talking to ghosts. O’Neill find out about the CEO of Pirate’s Booty who tried to take over an entire town. Andy gets berated at the Dollar Store for “cutting in line”. Andy unclogs a major toilet disaster and Ryan tells him he’s getting played. Then they have a business idea about how to get business men to covertly unstick their balls from the side of their leg.

Slop Quest 72 St Pinchy’s Day Mar 31, 2025

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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/c/slopquest It’s St. Patrick’s Day, Ryan is not wearing green and Andy wants to claim his rightful pinchings. Then Andy plays a devasting testimonial about a woman whose heart was broken by a man who wouldn’t let her fart. Then the boys talk about how irresponsible Los Angeles dog owners are and then we find out a dodgy dog secret about ‘O’Neill. Then HGTV does Goon Cave Makeovers. O’Neill chastises Andy for his public bit addiction. Then he talks like a cave man before the come up with a Gooning For God Christian goon plan. Then O’Neill orders a piss test for Andy. Andy contemplates using a paring of step ladders as a nice tv dinner tray. The boys reveal that O’Neill’s studio actually has trash piled to the ceiling because he won’t throw anything away. A listener’s wife won’t let him listen to the podcast while he washes dishes and the boys come to the rescue. And finally, O’Neill remembers how much he hates PF Changs.

Slop Quest 71 Concussion (2) Mar 24, 2025

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Full episodes at Patreon.com/slopquest

O’Neill has a concussion and Andy smells blood in the water and goes nuts on O’Neill. Then he reveals that the concussion has given him impression powers. There’s some Princess and The Pee talk, Pocket Watch hypnosis, and performing stand up concussed. Then White Lotus breaks the R word taboo. Andy tells O’Neill about Jimmy Carter and the “prison planet” conspiracy and O’Neill converts to Gnostic Christianity. They reminisce about trashy ladies with Tweetie Bird tattoos. Then Andy and Ryan come up with a game plan for having to sit next to a dead guy on a plane. Ryan tries to hypnotize Andy with a dangling finger. A rich guy blows his penis out with enlargement surgery. Then O’Neill sings the praises of David LoPan . Then he humble brags about a woman attacking him in his sleep. Andy criticizes O’Neill’s impression of his own voice which he considers “performativly sexy”. Then they talk about a fair price for crimes. A cab driver tries to bang Andy’s ex girlfriend and left hilarious messages. Then Andy plays a heart warming story of a pastor beating up a kid for “playing games with God”.

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