Slop Quest

Latest Episodes:

Slop Quest 100: Mr. T…nes Oct 13, 2025

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Full episodes available and much more available at Patreon.com/SlopQuest

It’s episode 100 and O’Neill brings a Mr. T doll but won’t let Andy touch it or play with it. O’Neill gets emotional when he reveals how much he enjoys the show with Andy. These tries to talk Andy into banging old dudes in china for the CIA. Then he tries to teach Andy “Chinese” and it derails the podcast. Then they come up with an idea to get way with anything by saying you were being blackmailed by Palantir. The boys then come up with a plan for insane celebrities to defame NPR’s Terri Gross by editing interviews to make it seem like she was asking inappropriate questions. Then O’Neill seems to believe that you can write “whatever you want” in a biography as long as it’s listed as “unauthorized”. Further research doesn’t support this. Then O’Neill tries to infiltrate a harem with his big beautiful butt cheeks.

Slop Quest 99 Cocaine Shrimp Oct 06, 2025

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Full episodes and more at Patreon.com/SlopQuest

Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! O’Neill wants to move to England to eat contaminated shrimp. Then he berates Andy for wanting to make more money. They lament the death of 90’s sitcoms and pitch an idea for an ABC Family show about a man who loves to eat ass but instead just has nice family dinners. O’Neill and Andy fight about which sushi is best and you know what happens. It devolves into O’Neills classic “high quality ingredients” nonsense. Then they try to turn Andy’s life around when he admits to O’Neill that not only does he eat garbage but he PREFERS garbage. Ryan tries to cheer him up by reading the last little bits of his apocalyptic Christian pamphlet.

Slop quest 98 Lex Looter Sep 29, 2025

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Andy gets 8 hours of sleep but is sweating like crazy because of nicotine gum and O’Neill goes nuts on him. Then they worry about Andy getting sent to RFK Jr’s fat camps to pick candy bars from candy bar bushes while avoiding mean farmers with salt rock shotguns. Andy’s grandad works on a sugar cane farm and gets free sugar cane syrup. Andy then goes on rant about O’Neill’s pre-show prep routine and this triggers a Dark Andy relapse. Japanese women trap men with fake ultrasound images. O’Neill tries to pitch a post apocalyptic show that focuses on people having too much salt from emergency meals. The boys use AI to come up with pick up lines but the AI goes WOKE on them! This turns into self deprecating cat calls which they love. Ryan tries to invoke the rules of the guest on Andy and it causes some controversy. And finally, Brad Pitt’s house gets looted.

Slop quest 97 Serial Killer’s Delight Sep 22, 2025

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Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! Ryan gets addicted to Fentanyl after his colonoscopy and his entire family is worried. Then he worries someone might have taken liberties with his big juicy bottom because the doctor had on gonzo porno camera glasses on. Ryan doesn’t believe Andy that Big Thunder Mountain cures kidney stones but Andy has the receipts. Then they brainstorm ideas for a car dealership that’s like a crack dealer. A serial killer is stalking the streets of Austin and only O’Neill can solve the case. Andy is running late and O’Neill can’t let it go and it makes Andy all squirly. Andy gets shaken awake at 5:30 am to help finish a school project and O’Neill suggests homeschooling with YouTube videos only. Andy saves his family from a fire while he was taking a shit and he’s a real American hero.

Slop Quest 96: A Little Goes A Long Way Sep 15, 2025

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Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! This week they talk about the unspoken show biz rule of writing in parts for boyfriends and girlfriends and how it destroys a script. Andy gets locked out on his porch twice in a row and might have to take shit in a bucket. Ryan gets locked out of his bedroom in a psychic attack. There’s so,e standing up for “squatter’s rights “ if you get what I mean and then O’Neill fantasizes about hiring someone off Craigslist to rip Andy off the toilet mid dump. They talk about Stainless steel toilet stock for Nancy Pelosi. Then O’Neill imagines a world where he works for the government by doing pranks on people. Then we get 5 star review that’s truly unbelievable. Then Andy watches the Chris Rock, O’Neill and Ari video and has some minor quibbles about it.

Slop Quest 95 North Korea Diarrhea Sep 08, 2025

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Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/SlopQuest

Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! O’Neill & Andy remember the old Church of Latter Day Saints commercials. This leads them to speculate on the pros and cons polygamy and this leads to a few disagreements as well as a business idea for a “ball sauna” to help the husbands plow. Then Andy pitches an idea where people are knocked out for all their flights and shoved into tubes. The boys reminisce about how Andy behaved on Kratom. Then they talk about popping RFK jr’s heart rate monitors on dogs to trick the government. Andy talks about a white lady in the audience crying while being empowered by a joke about doodies balls. They talk about using O’Neill’s 5’9 bit as a way of speaking truth to power. Then they talk about comedian angry freak outs. The boys also put their brilliant minds to use on how to handle the North Korea, South Korea problem and Ryan tries to convince Ari to ski there. The boys talk about how to be born into a wealthy family by cleaning streets in Heaven.

Slop Quest 94: Spitting Bars Sep 01, 2025

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Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! Ryan laments the fact that garbage men don’t ride on the back of the truck. Then he takes issue with Andy’s Otterbox phone case that’s falling apart. Then they come up with a trick to get Andy on disability. Ryan’s wife tries to touch his antique globe and Andy roasts O’Neill’s novelty bobcat nutsack whiskey bottle. Then he has to prove to O’Neill that “cat pee” is an actual wine note. Andy pitches Ryan on being a Wartime Journalist. Andrew’s finger smells good but O’Neill won’t sniff it. And Andy finds a music video that’s too cringe even for O’Neill. They both have an extremely visceral reaction to it.

Slop Quest 93 The Hunters Aug 25, 2025

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Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! This week O’Neill tries to build Andy’s confidence at the top of the show. Then the boys talk about the FBI raising money by selling DVDs with cut scenes from the Epstein jail. Then Andy gets a bunch of facts wrong but finds out right away this time. O’Neill tries to wake up Andy with farts which derails the podcast. We have an update from ATC Aaron and Andy mistakes Wesley Willis for William Wallace. Then the boys talk about the toilet situation in Liberia. Then they talk about growing crops in beach doodie. Then talk about the EDM scene in Goa. Then Ryan watches the Hunter Biden interview and has some issues with his preparedness to run for president. Then the boys talk about how ex presidents can completely white wash their crimes by pounding booze with people at bars. O’Neill gets mad that Andy hasn’t watched his “skits” on his website. Then Andy walks Ryan through the CIA Simple Sabotage Handbook and O’Neill loses his mind and realizes he could have been the world’s best CIA agent.

Slop Quest 92: Sniffers Delight Aug 18, 2025

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Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! O’Neill finds out about the “Burbank Butt Sniffer” and is shocked when it turns out that it’s not Andrew. Then they pitch Nordstrom on a new ad campaign, “Nordstrom Sniff Out The Savings”! And to be honest, it really has legs. Then O’Neill can’t believe the backstory of the sniffer and it almost derails the entire show. Then they try to write a biography about the incident with one of the craziest book titles ever. The Andrew laments the fact that it’s sweltering while two unused air conditioners sit in the same room they’re recording in. This episode is really good and really stupid. Come get your slop!

Slop Quest 91 Good Jeans Aug 11, 2025

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Full Episode on Patreon.com/SlopQuest

Ryan tries to figure out what’s got the internet so pissed off about a blue jeans ad. Then the boys float the idea of a Sidney Sweeney presidency with random civics tests for American citizens with big rewards. The boys also talk about the Tea App massive leak. The boys then talk about how scary it is to talk to actual psychopaths. Then they talk about the disturbing phenomenon of ex-mafia YouTube. O’Neill sits beside a dude having a potentially viral meltdown on a plane. Then O’Neill tries out some new cool rhyme schemes and floats the idea of Dr. O’Neill Sings. Then the boys hand out African Warlord names and try to build a business as Brand Consultants for African Warlords through a new PR Company.

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