Slop Quest

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Beach Cops Episode 209: Desert Eagle Aug 28, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

On this episode, O’Neill has some tough but fair relationship advice for a morgue employee. Also, O’Neill talks horror movies. Andrew discusses his intense ballet training and then he proves he has a 12 inch vert. Danish and O’Neill make him post to Reddit’s AITA, and he’s too scared to do it.

Beach Cops Episode 208: Styrofoam Jail Aug 21, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops
On this episode of Beach Cops, Aaron tells us about a styrofoam jail from his youth. Ryan grills Andy about a Disney audition that featured adult content. Danish reveals Obama’s secret naughty letters, and the gang has some insane theories. Then, they talk about the underrated TV show, Alien Nation. And, Andrew shows everyone his new DIY washing machine.

Beach Cops Episode 207: Codeine Darkness Aug 14, 2023

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On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy is recovering from Covid, and the Codeine darkness has his soul. Danish has some shocking manatee news, and O’Neill can’t stand a restaurant that serves gross ice cream. Plus, a new mash-up song of shame is revealed.

Beach Cops Episode 206: Nerf Wars Cold Sores Aug 07, 2023

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Andy brings in Nerf guns, and it makes the opening of the show extremely chaotic. Then, he gets (fake) cheese lip so bad it gives him a lip pimple. He also has some new surf tales and claims he popped the supposed lip pimple boogie boarding. O’Neill makes fun of Andy’s favorite spice shoppe. After that, there’s more Slingblade and Mrs. Doubtfire improv. Ronald Reagan drops in on them. Danish introduces Andy to Ice Spice via Obama’s new playlist. Ryan then raps about his juicy buttocks.

Beach Cops Episode 205: Margarita Hiking Jul 31, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops
On this episode of Beach Cops, Ryan goes hiking drunk, Andrew recounts an old story about Taco Bell Gorditas that goes wrong. A dude gets shown racy pictures on a plane by a lady, and Air Marshal Andrew catches them. Danish reads a political article about farts. Then, they find out about one of the funniest police evidence seizures of all time.

Beach Cops Episode 204: Jeff Dunham's Dandies Jul 24, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

O’Neill has a family incident with fireworks and then launches so many Roman candles he looks like a chimney sweep. Then, the gang imagines Andy’s "pirate" teaming up with Somali pirates. There’s some more black powder talk. After, there’s some AI talk mixed with some Scottish Lords talk that gets derailed by a "special" headstand request from O’Neill. The gang imagines what would happen if Jehovah’s Witness ladies were super turned-on, while Aaron critiques their conversion rates. Aaron breaks down all of Jeff Dunham’s puppets, and the gang goes nuts.

Beach Cops Episode 203: Goofin' Through the Door Jul 17, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

Andrew “thinks” he saw an extremely tall lady adult film being filmed in an alley. Someone’s wife goofs through the metal security door and then her and Andy do prairie dog noises, while O’Neill is on the toilet. Andy finds out about an AI app that generates erotic stories and goes nuts with it and toys with the idea of using it as a wonderful anniversary gift. Then, they use the app to make a story about Ryan and Aaron kissing. Andy seeks validation for his robot model from a very unlikely source. Danish gets a heartfelt email from a fan and Dementia Ronald Reagan gives him some solid love advice.

Beach Cops Episode 202: Prairie Dog Noises Jul 10, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

On this episode of Beach Cops, Ryan reveals that his goofy wife won’t stop doing prairie dog noises, and it’s driving him insane. There‘s some kidney selling talk, and then Andy reveals an industry secret that a big time producer and friend of Ari Shaffir‘s is very concerned about Ari's out of control hemorrhoids. Andy pleads for more writing assignments, and they roast the Penn State dog professor (he's a man, not a dog...just listen to eliminate any confusion).

Beach Cops Episode 201: Dolores Jul 03, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

Andy gets stuck in his own apartment and has to drill his way out. Ryan talks about Breaking Away and Indiana history. Then, the stream goes down again. A butter fire is suggested for burning notebooks. Andy enjoys VR adult content, where he has to outrun male genitalia, which Danish and O’Neill turn into a gym business ideas. Then, Danish does a bio of Corn Hogger, and Andy insists there used to be nudity on a Disney ride. For the grand finale, Andrew has an unhinged "Sunday" idea for a story called “Dolores”.

Beach Cops Episode 200 Extravaganza Jun 26, 2023

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Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now.
To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

Come celebrate 200 episodes with a Mad Lib the fans sent in that doesn’t match up with the end result, a trip to the farm that enrages DeWitt , and some touching drunk calls from fans. You’re in for a treat! Holiday. Celebrate.

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