Slop Quest

Latest Episodes:

The Pork Report 10: Seafood Tower Anxiety Jan 22, 2024

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FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of the Pork Report we have more of the sloppiest news you can use! 10 foot aliens, Oprah has a body double, and we start multiple amazing screenplay ideas. O’Neill races to finish a seafood tower in a mere hour and half. Then he plans a seafood based crowd work only comedy special. One of Aaron’s family members wins a car. And he never gets to see it. There’s some serious fondue talk. Then the boys do a deep dive on the great TruckNuts war and can’t get enough of the business buffoonery. It’s a great one!

The Pork Report 9: Skate or Die Jan 15, 2024

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FULL EPISODES @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The dudes are back and it's guns a blazing! First they talk about fluoride french fries. Then it's airplane disasters. After that they jump into tick bites that result in a pickle of predicament. Then it's softball talk, Tony Hawk and Jesse Ventura joins the show. Come one, come all, it's The Pork Report.

The Pork Report 8: No Alarmo Jan 08, 2024

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SPECIAL FREE EPISODE! MORE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We're back in the old studio while Aaron and ATC close for the holidays. And honestly, it's great to be back! We quickly stumble into chimpanzee nut smugglers. Then we visit the worst person on YouTube. After that, it's a deep dive into the history of truck nuts. Then we reach our magnum opus, an invention that might change the world for the better...it's the ultimate car alarm for the homophobic car thief. Strap in, hunker down and let your mind go limp cause The Pork Report has got the wheel. Enjoy!

The Pork Report 7: Year In Repoo Jan 01, 2024

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FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops In this episode of the ground breaking journalistic power house of The Pork Report, the boys discuss disposable corn meal beds for hotels and the ensuing rat problem that surely to follow. Then it's super pigs from Canada and the American weaponry that might save us. O’Neill reveals the most dangerous day of the year for wieners and a baked bean factory ends up with rubber balls in the beans! Also, Aaron wins more softball tournaments and cements his legacy as the greatest player the game has ever seen.

The Pork Report 6: They've Got Thumbs! Dec 26, 2023

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FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops DeWitt and O’Neill are back in the studio and breaking incredible news. First up, O’Neill talks about a new scourge facing humanity, dolphins with thumbs. We talk about the forgotten Christmas movie, Invasion USA, men who don’t buy toilet paper for their girlfriends then Ryan creates another toilet based trampoline idea. Then Andrew reveals medical procedures he has performed. Ryan uses this to volunteer him to save lives on flights. The boys start a new business for straight shooting medical advice. Then they come up with a new Elf on The Shelf variant.

The Pork Report 5: Cambodia, The Feeling's Forever Dec 18, 2023

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FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The Pork Report is hitting its stride! O’Neill is back from Cambodia where he was all the children’s lucky charm. He also has unbelievable food deals and peanuts that make you take a dump in your pants. DeWitt springs a new theme song on O’Neill as well as a creamy new Christmas video. Then Ryan talks about a drunk Santa fresh from prison that his dad brought over. Andy’s grandpa hands him a collection of loaded rifles to play with on Christmas that nearly got him killed as a child. Then we get a Christmas visit from Rowdy Uncle Ronnie.

The Pork Report Ep 4: Osama Drama Dec 04, 2023

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Listen to the full episode @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

The Pork Report Ep 3: Dude, We Ate Like Kings Nov 27, 2023

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GREEN CHEF get $250 off with code beachcops250 at https://www.greenchef.com/ FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

On This Pork Report style episode of Beach Cops, Ryan tells Andrew about the joys of life on the road. A heroin junkie invades Great Wolf Lodge and leaves syringes everywhere. The boys discuss billionaire brontosaurus secrets and the forgotten 80’s classic “Baby: Secret of The Lost Legend” and how Andy was forced to study cryptids at elementary school. Andy finds out about the Sasquatch “gifting rock” and Ryan debuts a 1970’s gem “Bigfoot and Wildboy” and it’s truly unbelievable. Then we hear O’Neill on a legit baseball bat commercial which leads to an amazing Aaron underdog softball story!

Beach Cops Episode 221: The Friendly Ghost Conundrum Nov 20, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops
A homeless dude helps "decorate" a giant skeleton in a fancy neighborhood. O’Neill has a ghostly proposition for Andy, but it quickly devolves into a Black Mirror situation. Andy finds a risque Irish woman on Instagram. Ryan has a “broccoli mission” dream that Andy tries to decode. Danish finds out about the urban legend of the Death Cat. A caller leaves a scary message that Andy initially doubts but later believes. Also, Ryan finds the ceiling of the podcast and measures it.

Beach Cops Episode 220: Diet Coke Wishes Nov 13, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops
Someone leaves season’s greetings in the toilet at ATC for O’Neill. Then, Danish finds a Diet Coke in the other bathroom, causing them to imagine a situation where a billionaire grants wishes to whoever drinks the toilet soda. Ryan pitches a traveling van of risque circus performers. Andy wears orthopedic flip flops, but no one believes him. Ryan then tries to get Andy to hang out with a chimpanzee, but Andy doesn’t want to deal with the diaper. Ryan then goes on a rant about some kind of mysterious softball powers.

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