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Beach Cops Episode 199: Drive-thru Mysteries Jun 19, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

On this episode of Beach Cops, the gang talks about catering movies to 4DX seating, which Andy loves. Then, Ryan makes fun of Yoda’s clothes, which really bothers Andy. Andrew reminds the gang how much his dad loves "Cool Runnings". Danish talks about using a sexy cashier voice to say sensual stuff through the drive thru speakers. This confuses O’Neill, who tries to produce his own news segment. After that, Andrew reminds them of the hot dog prank Danish and O’Neill tried to pull years ago.

Beach Cops Episode 198: Ancient Andys Jun 12, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

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Andy starts the show, talking about his tragically famous Dutch ancestors, and O’Neill shares his amazing new invention for hard-to-crack pistachio shells. Then the boys do Thundercat impressions for no apparent reason. After, O’Neill gets really angry at Andy, who is going nuts laughing at "certain" videos online and laments the state of entertainment. Aaron drops a late-in-the-show bomb about his Instagram recommendations that cuts one Beach Cop deep.

Beach Cops Episode 197: Corn Hogger Jun 05, 2023

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On this episode, Andrew has a disappointing urination stream due to a soap fiasco. Danish goes to Disneyland, and people walk off a ride in the middle of it. Andy finds body grooming tips on YouTube (guess which body part) that blow his mind. Then, Danish finds a human interest story about a DnD nerd, who uses a “robot“ voice at McDonald’s, and O’Neill and Andy prepare to rage until they hear the news reporter’s name….

Beach Cops Episode 196: Gone with the Biznass May 29, 2023

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Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

On this episode of Beach Cops, Aaron finally becomes one with Beach Cops as he plays Mad Libs with the boys. O’Neill gets some cool names for possible future kids. They come up with some more buffet style biznass talk, particularly a great new way to make $10 a pop. Then, Andrew brings out the Spring Break Uncle Ronnie songs, and O’Neill has no memory of his part in it and is full of shame. It ends with both Danish and O’Neill setting each other up for great knock knock jokes, while also ruining Andy’s.

Beach Cops Episode 195: Sippin' on Tuna Water May 22, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

Be forewarned: Aaron is on fire with the wordplay this episode, so plan accordingly. Andy comes out of the gates with excitement over having something in common with Mark Normand. What he has in common makes Danish and O’Neill ask Andy how far he’d go for his "special interest". Andy tells a harrowing tale of drinking port wine and passing out from blood sugar issues. The gang grapples with a Black Mirror style question about drinking, bathing, and only having tuna water for all your water needs for a year. Danish gets into some infuriating "lion talk" and then Aaron shares his love for GRR Martin’s "Beauty and The Beast". O’Neill goes over all his cool childhood weapons, and there's a tragic reveal from Danish. They then discuss how to eat with chopsticks and a Thai restaurant refuses to let Andy eat with them and gives him a spoon instead. That inspires a new business idea for a chopsticks based media company.

Beach Cops Episode 194: Throwing Stars and the Two Philosophical Questions May 15, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

We open with O’Neill being delighted that Chinese throwing stars are legal again in Indiana. O’Neill then tries to take credit for getting Andy off drugs and requests a wish as compensation. Aaron talks about a new softball rival and injury. This leads O’Neill to come up with a pair of cutting-edge questions that build the backbone of a new philosophy. Andy and Danish do NOT think these are “good” questions. O‘Neill doubles down that these are the hard-hitting questions that MUST be asked. Andy thinks these questions are just the intrusive thoughts of a mentally ill person. Proving that's not the case, O’Neill becomes Andy’s lawyer in a fictional case about kissing. Andy shows everyone his new robot. Then, they explore the business possibilities of the "Two Question Scenario".

Beach Cops Episode 193: Strawberries and Cream May 08, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops
The show opens with more misremembered historical ramblings from DeWitt, including a guy who ate strawberries and cream until he exploded. O’Neill suggests that Andy’s vision board needs more business goals and less stuff about butts. Then, there’s some Vince McMahon talk. Danish debuts a new quote song that makes us all proud! There's also another song about Andy that melts our minds.

Episode 192: Six Nuts May 01, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

On this episode, Andy opens with a Romeo and Juliet fart parody song based off the 1969 movie, and O’Neill is not impressed. Then, O’Neill has an insane list of demands for the aliens should they ever kidnap him. Danish talks about Israeli cars that run on hummus. Then, he pulls up a viral video of a woman who claims she would please her man at least six times a day, which leads to a debate if that would be good or not. The show ends with a huge bombshell, as Andy reveals he was part of a NASA brainwashing program as a child.

Episode 191: Trophy Time! Apr 24, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops
Aaron wins a gigantic trophy for softball, and O’Neill goes for stolen softball trophy valor antics. Then, they ask Andy if he would have his mouth surgically altered as a way to become more popular. After that, they roast the lineup from Coachella. Andy has an amazing business idea called "Fart Burger", and NO ONE recognizes how great this idea is. Finally, O'Neill has Andy perform a series of monologues to endorse his business.

Episode 190: Slingblade and Mrs. Doubtire So Crazy in Love Apr 17, 2023

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops
On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy has been watching more Milf Manor. O’Neill fears the Presidential power of Bill Clinton’s sexual energy. Danish exposes a fitness beef between John Little and Earl Skakel. Then, an improv sensation sweeps the nation as Andy and Ryan take on the roles of Slingblade and Mrs. Doubtfire as they fall in love. Finally, Danish finds a post about redhead discrimination that infuriates O’Neill to the bone.

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